Chapter Text
"I'm sorry, Loid," Yor said, sadly putting away dishes. "She's having a hard time accepting the past. I will talk to her later."
"You've grown a lot closer in the years, I see," Twillight said, letting himself fall onto the couch. He still had his coat, hat and shoes on.
"That happens when two people have each other only," she answered calmly, focusing on the dishes. "I remember how we fought a lot with Yuri before we lost our parents. And we fought with Anya a lot after you... disappeared. She hated you back then, claiming you left us." Twillight could feel a knot in his stomach getting tighter. Calm down! It's normal for kids to react like that when someone dies! But even though he was becoming suspicious, guilt was rising in him with every second passing.
"She seems to still hold on to that. Give it time. Are you staying the night?"
Is she really offering it just like this?! I just appeared out of thin air and she lets me stay the night? Is she so sweet or so dumb?
"No," he shook his head. "It wouldn't do any good. I have a place to stay at. Except that, I don't want neighbors talking bad things about a random man staying at your apartment."
"Our marriage was never officially broken, you know," she said, as if he was never dead for her. "There would be nothing wrong with it. But, of course, however you decide."
"You didn't remarry even after those years..." he started. "Our marriage was fake, but you could have found anyone for your sake..."
"Useless. As for getting my brother's mind at ease, he was almost happy when you died. And I had to take care of Anya. Everything else was... secondary."
"You learnt how to cook. Keeping the house spotless as always. Learnt Anya's studies to help her... You've grown so much and yet," he gave his wife a long stare, "you haven't really changed a bit."
"I have nothing to change on me. Anya has grown into a strong woman, though. She is close to being stronger than me." She sat down next to him. "And she has a lot stronger mind. You have a lot to be proud of, Loid."
Twillight tensed when she leaned her head on his shoulder.
"I still can't believe you are here."
Twillight kicked himself mentally when he realized he was caressing her shoulder. I'm getting old. And sloopy. This family made me weak. No wonder Handler refused to set me on this one at first.
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The door opened slowly and a soft thumbs of Bond's run echoed around the small apartment. Loid opened his eyes, finding he had fallen asleep. But when... Yor's head was still on his shoulder, her regularly breathing, lost in dreams.
His gaze met Anya's. The girl grew so much. She was almost an adult. And her stone glance talked for her spirit. She had indeed became a lot stronger.
Now she was looking into his eyes as if she wanted to stab him. As if she had already stabbed him and now was watching him bleed out. After what felt like hours, she finally closed the door and stepped inside.
Still giving him the same killing glare. In the half-dark of the room he would almost mistake her for danger. "Damian asked me," she said, her voice icy cold, "to talk to you." She came closer, almost too close to him. Loid didn't want to move, still brightly aware of Yor asleep on him. "So I decided to tell you the truth, and you will tell me the truth." She walked around the tea table and was standing so close to him they could feel each other's breaths. "But Mama can't hear us." She whispered. Twillight was shocked at how fast her tone and mimics changed. He watched his little girl reach down and pick up Yor like a little kid, and she took her to the other room. SHE'S STRONG!
"Yes," she said, sitting in a chair across him. "I am indeed strong and absolutely sure I can beat you."
Loid noticed the way she sat. Like him. Like a man. Legs spread, elbows on knees, serious look in the eyes. Yor didn't teach her that!
"No, mama didn't," Am I thinking aloud? Behold of yourself, Twillight!
"Since we are all liars," she continued, "let's, as one liar to another, tell our little truths. For they all might be lies."
"Anya, I had an incident and amnezia..."
"Cut that shit!" she raised her voice, but didn't yell. "We both know very well it was no accident nor an incident. It was all planned for Operation Strix was abandoned." H-HOW?! She can't know anything about it! "And for the very same reason, you came back. Because Damian's father is back. And we have no other purpose than just to be your dolls in a stupid game! A-gain."
Twillight kept his calm: "You've always been half-your-mind in the spy movies..."
"And you've always been whole-your-mind in the job."
"I'm a psychiatrist..."
"You're a manipulator."
"Dear, you-"
"Do NOT call me that," she glared aggressively. "Either we tell the truth or I'm throwing you out, and we NEVER talk again."
If I tell her what she wants to hear, being it the truth, it will stay nothing more, just a story in her head. His daughter - former fake daughter - rolled her eyes.
"Alright, Anya," he said seriously. "I see you figured out some things yourself. I, indeed, am a spy," he added in a dramatic pause, shocked by Anya's calm behavior. "Obviously, you can't tell anyone."
She sighed: "I've known since I was seven. And maybe try to accept I'm ten years older now."
As a psychiatrist, he should know how to communicate with people at every age, but for unknown reasons, this was hard. He couldn't convince his mind to see Anya as the young woman she became. He still saw the little girl who loved peanuts and spy shows.
"You knew... of course. Well, you still can't tell anyone. I really needed a family for my cover back then..." He expected Anya to cut him. To attack him. To say something so he doesn't have to continue. He hated that what he was about to say was absolutely true. It shouldn't be.
She kept quiet.
"But later I got so used to both of you, you meant more to me than any mission. I fell in love with Yor and I loved - and do love - you like my own. I would do anything to protect you both." He fell silent, watching Anya's face for any changes. She didn't move. Her eyes didn't twitch or got wider. Her hands weren't shaking, and she didn't change her pose. She was waiting. But what for? What else was there to say? He failed as an agent. He made a strong bond with people who might endanger him. Who had endagnered him before. And now he revealed his true job to a kid.
"And yet," Anya said coldly. His speech didn't affect her at all! "You left us for another mission. And now you're back for the very. Same. Reason." She believed all she was saying, and she was convinced it was true. And, unfortunately for Twillight, she was right. But he really loved them. And it was wrong, but he did. Didn't she believe him even a little bit?
"Anya-chan-"
"I'm not your daughter nor friend, Mister," she barked. "I'd appreciate formal addressing." Something in Twillight's chest felt so heavy at that moment. As if he was shot in the stomach and all his ribs were being broken and repaired at the same time. This hit way harder than it was supposed to.
"Alright," he swallowed emptily, "Anya-san, you mean the world to me, and believe me, I want to be here. With you. To protect you. This time not just for the cover."
"But the cover is the main reason you're back. I'm not playing a doll in your game again, and I won't let mama do so either." She stood up and walked toward the door, giving him a clear sign. It's time to go.
He stood up with a sigh and walked toward the opened door. "Thank you for having me," he greeted traditionally, words feeling like poison on his tongue.
"Thank you for visiting," she answered, and shut the door as soon as he walked out.
That fucked up.
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I can still convince Yor. She's sweet and extremely naive. And she can talk to Anya later.
Twillight sighed heavily under the shower. He shouldn't feel guilty of this thinking. It was his work. He had to work it out. Get it together.
He blew up his cover for nothing. Even though she was a kid. Even if she would try anything, no one would take her seriously. They wouldn't take her seriously as an adult woman either.
"There is a lot to do for women's rights, sir," she'd said. And she was, unfortunately, right. Again. He, as a man trained by a woman, and an ex-husband of a strong wife, believed women were at the same level of respect as men. Except he was one in a few.
He shut the water off. Yor it is then.