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Adorable, oblivious, idiots.

Summary:

Charlie is sick of seeing Bella moping after Edward Cullen. So he does what any good Dad does, and tries to set her up with the handsome, charming, thoughtful, responsible, and sweet newest officer on the Forks Police Department, Harry Potter.

To say Bella is confused by this choice is an understatement.

Notes:

Shoutout to PriestessRayven for giving me a plot that wouldn’t let me rest until my itchy fingers explored it.

Work Text:

“Bells! Bells can you get the door?”

Charlie swore under his breath as smoke started to spiral from his pan of what was meant to be spaghetti sauce. This was not how it looked or smelled when Bella cooked it.

All he had to do was pour the sauce in the pan, heat it up, and serve it. How hard could it be?

“Dad, if that’s another person you’re trying to set me up with, we are going to talk about it when he leaves,” Bella warned her father on her way to answer the door. Which was both a rude and totally fair warning to give. Especially since this was another person Charlie was trying to set her up with, but a big step up from that kid Mike Newton in his opinion.

Harry Potter was twenty, only two years older than Bella, and the newest patrolman on the Forks Police Department. Now, Charlie wouldn’t normally try and set his baby girl up with one of the guys from the station, especially not one who was older than her, but there was something different about Harry. Aside from his knockout bright green eyes and his sharp cheekbones, he was a good man. Mature, respectful, and responsible. Responsible enough that he’d taken over custody of his two year old godson after the little boys grandma died a few months ago.

Charlie almost hadn’t hired him. Harry had only lived in Forks for a few weeks when he applied, but when he showed up with a toddler on his hip and offered a firm handshake with a bright smile, Charlie decided to give him a shot. It didn’t hurt that, despite his young age, Harry came with a glowing recommendation from the personal body guard for the British Prime Minister, a guy named Kingsley, who swore he’d ‘worked a few cases’ with Harry and there was no better officer available.

And, after six months on the force, Charlie could easily say that Harry was the best employee in the station. He was always early to work, offered to stay late, partnered with anyone without complaints, and once a week he brought in little home-cooked pastries that he called ‘tarts’.

All of which made Harry was the perfect person to make Bella forget all about Edward Cullen, her boyfriend who’d moved away to California back in September. Charlie had waited a few months, hoping she’d snap out of her funk, but now it was time to push her back out there. If she wanted to have a boyfriend, he didn’t like it necessarily, but Harry was a good choice. He just hoped Harry hit it off with Bella. Though, he wasn’t worried about Bella liking Harry, who wouldn’t fall for those green eyes and British accent?

Charlie desperately tried to fan away the smoke rising from the saucepan as he heard Bella open the front door.

“Hello?”

“Hello, I’m Harry, Harry Potter. I’m... er- Charlie invited me?”

“My Dad.” Charlie could hear Bella’s sigh from the kitchen. “Come on in then, and who’s this?”

“This is my godson, Teddy Lupin. Teddy can you say hi?”

“No.”

Harry laughed and even Charlie grinned. He didn’t have to see little Teddy’s face to know it would be a pout. Harry brought his godson around to the station all the time, the guys had all gotten used to his stubborn attitude and frequent pouts. Teddy was a sweet boy, both his orphaned status and his black curls (not unlike Harry’s himself) made him extra lovable and an easy guest to accommodate at the station.

Charlie had even stocked up on suckers for him in his desk, something he hadn’t done since Bella was a kid. Always keeping some in stock for when Renee would (too infrequently) bring her to town.

“Evening- damn Chief, who are you killing?”

Charlie’s lips twitched at the only thing about Harry that made him hesitant about setting him up with his daughter- Harry had a hell of a mouth on him. He was always popping in Charlie’s office with a smartass remark, a complaint peppered with curses, or even a ‘fuckin wicked’ when Charlie did something that impressed him.

“I’m cooking,” Charlie said. He nodded with approval when he saw that Harry had followed his instructions to ‘wear something nice’. Harry had on a long sleeve shirt, pushed up to his elbows, and a pair of decent jeans. Charlie would give him this much, Harry could have any woman in Forks following him around if the thought occurred to him. But he’d always seemed content to stay home with Teddy, only occasionally going out for a beer with the other cops when they’d all but begged and bribed. Which is why Charlie had been surprised when Harry quickly accepted his offer to come over for dinner and to meet his daughter. He hadn’t told him about trying to set him up with Bella, he was hoping Harry’s natural charms would just open that door right up.

“You’re murdering marinara, and it’s against the law,” Harry laughed as he peeked over Charlie’s shoulder. “Here- trade me.”

Harry passed little Teddy over to Charlie, the boy giving Charlie a toothy smile and a sticky hug.

“Chawie!”

“Hey Teddy Bug,” Charlie tossed the little one up and smiled at his bright laugh. “How’s my favorite future deputy?”

“Sucker?”

Harry laughed and shook his head, “No. No sucker Teddy.”

“I’ve got you one for after dinner,” Charlie assured Teddy with a wink. He looked wistfully towards where Bella was lounging in the doorway, her arms crossed and one brow raised quizzically. Charlie would have given anything to have had Bella around for her whole life. Her first year, summer breaks, and the last year wasn’t nearly enough time with his daughter.

“Harry, this is my daughter, Bella. Bella, this is Harry.”

“Charlie talks a lot about you.” Harry flashed a charming smile over his shoulder at Bella while he fiddled with the stove temperatures that were always so confusing to Charlie.

Why couldn’t they just be ‘on’ and ‘off’?

“Really?” Bella gave her dad ‘a look’. “Because I haven’t heard anything about you at all.”

“That really hurts Chief,” Harry chuckled. “You didn’t tell your daughter about your favorite co-worker?”

“Teddy’s my favorite coworker,” Charlie joked, plunking Teddy in Bella’s old high chair he’d dug out of the garage just for this occasion. “And I’m sure I’ve mentioned Harry before.”

“Nope.” Bella sat down at the table across from Teddy, a small grin on her face. “I think I’d remember if you mentioned him.”

“Pft,” Harry scoffed playfully as he glanced around in the Swans’ fridge, already making himself right at home. “Bella are you any better in a kitchen than Charlie is? Because I’m going to have to start this sauce from scratch and I don’t trust that prat with a knife.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Charlie waved off both Harry’s insult and his offer to cook. “I’ll just order a couple of pizzas.”

“You told me if I wanted a home-cooked meal that I had to come over. So I’m here, and I expect a home-cooked meal Charlie,” Harry grinned and began pulling ingredients out of the fridge. “Of course, I didn’t expect to cook it myself. But I don’t mind,” he added hastily, “Teddy says I’m a great cook.”

“Well dad can’t cook at all,” Bella told Harry. She got to her feet and took the tomatoes and onions and peppers out of Harry’s hands and sat them on the counter. “I’m alright though.”

“Bella’s a great cook,” Charlie said proudly. “Dunno where she gets it from, because neither me or her mom can cook at all.”

“That’s why I had to learn to cook,” Bella said. She smiled as she scooted over to the counter and began dicing up ingredients with Harry. “It was cook or starve.”

“Or live on takeout,” Harry said with a small smirk over at Charlie, much too aware of his frequent orders from Patsys Diner.

“There’s only so many styrofoam boxed dinners I can handle,” Bella said solemnly.

“Unless it’s her salisbury steak,” said Harry. “I could have that every damn day.”

Charlie laughed at that. Harry was as big of a fan of those salisbury steaks as he was. Harry always got an eager light in his eyes when Charlie asked him to go get lunch at Patsy’s with him on the days they worked together. Which was one of the reasons that Charlie tweaked their schedules to match up. It just wasn’t easy finding someone he enjoyed sharing meals with, and he’d had enough silent meals alone to last a lifetime.

“So tell me about yourself, Harry,” Bella said. “Since dad didn’t tell me anything,” she looked over and rolled her eyes at Charlie. Charlie didn’t mind the silly teenage gesture, not when Bella looked happier than she had in months while she chopped peppers for Harry.

“Not much to say,” Harry shrugged. “I grew up in London and then moved here about- what, eight months ago Charlie?”

“Nine,” Charlie answered absently. He had pulled out some of Bella’s old baby toys from the garage and was trying to tempt Teddy with a little rainbow colored xylophone. “C’mon Teddy, look-“ Charlie hit a few keys and beamed when Teddy picked up the yellow stick and started banging on the keys himself.

“Do you like it here?” Bella asked.

“Oh yeah, we love it here, don’t we Teddy?” Harry dumped the vegetables in the saucepan and smiled over at his godson. “Charlie helped me find a good daycare for Teddy, and he’s making loads of noisy little friends.”

“Tell her about Teddy’s first day,” Charlie chuckled. “She’ll get a kick out of it.”

“Wellll,” Harry looked sheepish as he began stirring the ingredients. Charlie watched him with both admiration and a bit of jealousy, the kitchen didn’t smell this good even when it was Bella cooking. Harry was as natural with a kitchen spoon as he was his service weapon. Charlie thought maybe Harry was just one of those guys who fit in everywhere he went. “So Teddy’s daycare teacher called the station, she was bloody panicking, right? Said that she swore Teddy’s eyes turned red for a minute and she was afraid he was possessed by the devil.”

Charlie laughed again, just as hard as he had the first time Julie Rogers had called the station in a panic and he’d taken the call. Teddy’s eyes had been perfectly green when he’d went with Harry over to check on the boy.

Harry kept up an easy conversation with Bella while she helped him cook and Charlie played with Teddy. It felt cozy, the four of them preparing dinner together and talking. Much nicer with Harry and Teddy than it ever had been with Edward Cullen.

“Do you like to fish too?” Bella asked when Harry was adding the pasta to the boiling water. Bella had stopped trying to help at this point, choosing to just let Harry take over the kitchen he was so obviously comfortable in.

“Never been,” Harry shrugged. “Charlie seems to like it though.”

“What?!” Charlie sputtered, drawing a giggle from Teddy at the noise. “You’ve never been?”

“Nope.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that sooner?” Charlie groaned. “I’ve been talking your ear off about that new pole I got and I bet you don’t have the slightest idea what I’m talking about, do you?”

“Not a damn clue,” Harry laughed, “but I know you look happy when you talk about it so I just let you go on.”

Charlie felt his neck heat up at that, probably just from Bella’s quiet snickers. “Well the next time I go, you’re going with me.”

“Aye aye chief,” Harry winked at him.

Which made Charlie’s neck even hotter.

Harry was all the time winking at him, he did it as often as he smiled. It shouldn’t be any different just because Harry was winking in Charlie’s kitchen, his forearms bared as he stirred together the pasta and the sauce for dinner for the four of them.

 

“Harry, this is amazing!” Bella smiled over at Harry after they’d all sat down and Harry dished out plates of the meal he’d made. Charlie took a tentative bite and felt himself agreeing immediately with Bella, it was probably the best damn spaghetti he’d ever had.

“You’ve been holding out on me!” Charlie accused Harry with a grin. “Making me eat at Patsy’s every day when you can cook like this!”

“We love Patsy’s,” Harry laughed. He cut up Teddy’s spaghetti in little bites for him. “She’d be heartbroken if she didn’t get a chance to flirt with you every day.”

“Oh she’s just playing,” Charlie said. “It’s you she wants to sit and banter with.” Patsy loved Harry, Charlie suspected that everyone who met him did. Harry had a sunny disposition and a dry wit that made him naturally charismatic. Patsy would find a reason to visit their booth constantly, her lipstick freshly applied and her eyelashes fluttering. Not that Harry hardly noticed, him and Charlie were usually wrapped up in their own conversations about laws they agreed or disagreed with, training programs for new hires, and general stories about their lives. Charlie had never had anyone before that he could talk to as freely as he did Harry, not even Renee back when they were first married.

Not that he was comparing Harry to Renee, because there was no real comparison to be had. Renee, as in love as Charlie had once thought he’d been with her, could be flakey, irresponsible, and selfish. Harry was mature, reliable, and the most selfless person Charlie had ever met.

Which is why you invited him here for Bella, he reminded himself firmly. It was Bella who needed someone like Harry in her life. Charlie would just... would just keep having lunch with him and saving suckers for Teddy.

Teddy who was charming Bella with his sweet giggle and his spaghetti face. Harry smiled down affectionately at his little godson, and Charlie knew that Bella would be a lucky girl to be with Harry.

Well. Harry would be lucky to be with his daughter too.

“Harry, do you read much Shakespeare?” Charlie asked when there was a comfortable lull in the conversation. “Bella here’s crazy about him. Nearly wore out her copy of his complete works.”

“I haven’t,” Harry grimaced apologetically to Bella. “I’m not really much of a reader, honestly. I do better with my hands.” He flexed his hand out, wiggling his fingers to emphasize his point.

It was Bella’s quiet cough that alerted Charlie that he was staring.

Harry asked Bella about her other hobbies, which set the two of them off on a light conversation about other books Bella had read, none of which Harry was familiar with. Which Charlie wasn’t surprised by. Harry was a smart man, he knew the laws as well as Charlie himself did, and could hold his own in any debate in the station. But Harry didn’t seem like a ‘reading fluff for fun’ type of guy. Which is why Charlie thought it was extra thoughtful of Harry to listen attentively, asking questions here and there, while Bella talked literature.

Once he was finished with the best meal he’d had in years, Charlie was content to sit and listen to two of his favorite people talk, until his other top favorite person flung a forkful of spaghetti across the room.

“Up! Done!” Teddy wailed.

“Oh, guess that’s my cue,” Harry laughed, shaking his head at his messy godson. “I’ll get the mess, sorry Charlie.”

“You cooked, I’ll clean,” Charlie said with an easy smile. “Even if it is little Teddy Bug who made the mess.” He poked Teddy’s spaghetti stained shirt in the belly until he drew a laugh from him.

“I’ll take Teddy to get cleaned up,” Bella said, jumping to her feet quickly. “Give you guys a chance to sit together.”

“Thanks Bella,” Harry smiled appreciatively over at Charlie’s daughter while she scooped Teddy in her arms and took him upstairs to get washed. Charlie was surprised Bella offered, she wasn’t usually one for kids or messes, but he supposed it was good she got along with Teddy... that was what Charlie wanted.

“Bella’s great,” Harry said as he started stacking dishes, even though Charlie just told him he’d clean up. “She’s a lot like you.”

“Thank god,” Charlie muttered quietly, only feeling a twinge of remorse for doing so. It was hard to feel too warmly towards Renee when she’d ran away with his daughter and, by Bella’s own account that Charlie pieced together from bits and pieces over the years, she’d made Bella grow up too fast and become the adult in their house by her own erratic behavior.

“So I guess Mark had it wrong when he said you were still carrying a torch for your ex?” Harry asked with a teasing light in his eye.

“I’m demoting him if he doesn’t quit yammering about things he doesn’t know about,” Charlie complained while he helped Harry take the dishes to the sink. He thought about it for a moment and frowned as he considered that was probably the view of most of the townsfolk. “Maybe I should get out there, start dating again. Quiet the clucking hens.”

A plate Harry was rinsing slipped through his fingers, clattering loudly against the sink. “Er... what?”

“Well... it’s like I was telling Bella, you gotta get back on the horse sometimes. Ya know?” Charlie rolled his shoulders, uncomfortable with bringing the subject up with Harry of all people. “Nevermind.”

Harry turned and gave Charlie a peculiar look. “Why’d you invite me here tonight Charlie?”

Charlie let out a huff of air and leaned against the counter, hoping for a nonchalant pose and a casual tone. “I thought maybe you should get out there too. And you and Bella... I thought maybe...” Charlie trailed off at the flash in Harry’s eyes, if he didn’t know better he’d say it was disappointment.

“You invited me to meet your daughter, but you meant you wanted me to date your daughter?” Harry’s voice had rose a single octave, not high pitched by any means, but a small squeak to it that Charlie hadn’t experienced before.

“Was it a bad plan?” Charlie asked, nervous now that he’d upset someone he’d come to think of as one of his closest friends. Certainly Harry was Charlie’s choice over Billy for almost anything except fishing.

“No. No,” Harry mumbled, his face turning a bright red. “I just- uh... it’s getting late. I should get Teddy home.”

Charlie had no idea what had gone so wrong, so quickly, but before he knew it, Harry was pulling Teddy’s little green coat on and thanking Charlie and Bella both for dinner.

“I’ll see you Monday, Chief.”

Charlie Swan may not have graduated valedictorian of his class, but it didn’t take a genius to know that Harry wasn’t going to be calling on Bella for a date anytime soon.

He tried not to let that make him too happy.

“Harry’s great Dad,” Bella gushed when they sat down on the couch together. Charlie flicked on the TV and hummed in acknowledgment. “And Teddy’s so sweet! Why didn’t you tell me about them before? We could have had them over for dinner months ago!”

“Bells.” Charlie muted the TV and gave his daughter an apologetic look. Of course she would take to Harry, it would be easier if she hadn’t liked him. “I invited Harry over to try and set you guys up.”

Bella pulled back, as if physically recoiling in surprise. Charlie didn’t think it would have been a surprise, she’d guessed as much when she went to answer the door.

“You... you were trying to set me up with your boyfriend?” Bella asked. “That’s... that’s weird Dad.”

“What?” Now Charlie was the one who was surprised. “Harry isn’t- we aren’t- Jesus Bella, what gave you that idea?”

“You did!” Bella cried. “You and him kept ‘looking’ at each other. And laughing. And you never laugh!”

“I laugh all the time,” Charlie grumbled.

“Yeah, with Harry,” Bella stressed his name. “And with Teddy. And when you’re talking about your lunch dates together.”

“They aren’t dates,” Charlie sputtered. “Harry and I are just friends Bella.”

“Does Harry know that?” Bella raised a brow. “Because I thought he seemed like he was already half in love with you. Well, until he left all awkwardly. What was that about?”

“I told him I was trying to set the two of you up,” Charlie muttered, toying with what Bella was saying.

“Oh my god. Dad. You didn’t! You invited him to dinner then told him it was supposed to be a date for me?”

“Technically, I invited him to come meet my daughter,” Charlie admitted. “I didn’t tell him it was a date.”

“That’s even worse!” Bella pinched her nose in aggravation. “God, Dad. Poor Harry. He probably thought you were like introducing him to your daughter, like you would with a proper boyfriend. No wonder he was upset!”

Charlie considered everything in a new light. If Harry was Patsy, with her red lipstick and greying curls, what would he think of their interactions? Of Harry’s winks, and playful teasing, and his quick acceptance of Charlie’s invitation to come over and have dinner?

“Hell, Bella.” Charlie groaned and rubbed a weary hand across his face. “You’re right.”

“Of course I am,” Bella said smugly. “Now the question is, what are you going to do about it?”

Charlie looked at the clock in the corner of the mantle. Harry had only been gone about fifteen minutes, he wouldn’t be in bed just yet.

“I’m gonna go talk to him.” Charlie got up and quickly grabbed his coat. He backtracked to give Bella a kiss to the top of her smug little head. “What would I do without you kid?”

“Probably pine after your patrolman for another nine months,” Bella chuckled and pushed his shoulder. “Go get ‘em Dad.”

 

After Charlie left, Bella let out a genuine laugh. She flipped the TV to a lighthearted comedy, confident Charlie wouldn’t be home for a while, and curled up under the blanket.

One day, she’d tell her brother Teddy about how their parents were adorable, oblivious, idiots.