Chapter Text
Liu Qingge is tired. He’s flying back to the sect after several weeks out hunting. If not for the peak lord meeting tomorrow, he would have been very happy to remain out in the wilderness, far away from people.
Out here, he’s not misunderstood all the time. He’s not ogled by disciples everywhere he goes, or followed by simpering women the way he is whenever he wanders through a local town to restock basic provisions.
It’s simpler.
Fight. Kill. Eat. Sleep.
When he’s back at the sect he has to deal with bullshit paperwork that only grows taller no matter how much he works on it. He has to deal with the demands of his disciples. And at peak lord meetings, he has to deal with Shen Qingqiu sneering at him constantly, telling him how stupid he is, that he’s just a pretty face with no sense.
It’s infuriating, because if anyone’s the pretty one, it’s Shen Qingqiu.
Not.
Not that Liu Qingge would ever admit it on pains of death. There is no force on earth capable of pulling that information from him.
Bai Zhan peak is the same when he touches down not far from his residence. The kids have some kind of warning system in place, and they always just know when he’s returned to the mountain. Before he’s even stepped foot in his house, one of the older kids jumps out of nowhere with an attack.
This is standard. They’re Bai Zhan, where being the strongest is everything. The kids are always striving to improve their fighting ability. Liu Qingge doesn’t mind it. It’s how he was raised too, after all.
As soon as more disciples realize that their Peak Lord is back, they come out of nowhere, all wanting to try their hand at taking on the War God of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect. Liu Qingge really isn’t in the mood for it today, though, so he holds back less than usual. The kids go flying every which way, and Liu Qingge continues beating them back until they’ve tired themselves out.
When it’s over, he instructs the ones without major injuries to take the others to Qian Cao. Liu Qingge takes a hot bath and then goes to bed. He hasn’t slept for a couple of weeks, so he’s out as soon as his head touches the pillow.
The next day, he flies over to Qiong Ding peak for the peak lord meeting. Liu Qingge intercepts Qi Qingqi who keeps making weird faces at him from across the room. She drags him into an alcove.
“Have you talked to Mingyan recently?” Qi Qingqi demands with a frown.
Liu Qingge shakes his head. “No, I’ve been away. I was planning on seeing her tomorrow or soon after.”
Huffing, Qi Qingqi crosses her arms over her chest. “Well. That bastard actually sent her a message!”
Frowning, Liu Qingge says, “Which bastard?”
“Shen Qingqiu.” Qi Qingqi says flatly, and Liu Qingge’s eyes go wide.
“What?!” He demands. “Why is he speaking privately to my sister?!”
Throwing her hands up in the air, Qi Qingqi growls, “I don’t know, she wouldn’t tell me!”
That’s. That’s really weird, Liu Qingge thinks. “That’s really weird,” he says.
“Yes, I know” Qi Qingqi says tartly. She sighs. “She’s fine. He didn’t upset her or anything. A-Yan only said it was a private matter and she didn’t want to speak of things she shouldn’t, but that Shen Qingqiu treated her with absolute respect in the message.”
“Good,” Liu Qingge says shortly. Treating the sect leader badly is one thing. Liu Qingge hates it, but if Yue Qingyuan won’t do anything about it, fine. However. If that bastard treated Mingyan badly, then Liu Qingge really would kill the other man. “I will go see her tomorrow.”
Yue Qingyuan calls the meeting to order, and they take their seats. The chair at Zhangmen Shixiong’s right hand is empty.
“Where is Shen Qingqiu?” Liu Qingge asks, his tone frosty. Is he skipping meetings now? The lazy, entitled bastard.
Yue Qingyuan’s smile appears strained. “Ah, Liu Shidi. Shen Shidi was seriously injured in a night hunt with his disciples recently-”
Qi Qingqi murmurs, “Probably one of them tried to kill him.”
Her voice isn’t as quiet as it should be, and across the table Mu Qingfang’s brows drop down and he actually glares at her.
“Shimei.” Mu Qingfang says reproachfully, and Liu Qingge can’t even remember the last time Mu Shidi spoke of something that was not medical related.
Called to task, Qi Qingqi shrugs. “If he had half the cultivation he’s supposed to as a peak lord, anything non-lethal should be just fine.”
Mu Qingfang’s light green eyes turn cold. “Without mentioning specifics, I would say that some injuries cut deep. Zhangmen Shixiong, shall we return to the agenda?”
“Yes, thank you, Mu Shidi,” Yue Qingyuan says, but not before he gives Liu Qingge and Qi Qingqi a clear disappointed expression.
Scowling, Liu Qingge doesn’t think that’s very fair! He only asked a question! Across the table, Mu Qingfang flips an acupuncture needle over his fingertips. Liu Qingge knows from past experience that Mu Shidi has perfect aim with those things and can hit his mark from a truly alarming distance.
When he accidentally meets Mu Shidi’s eyes, the healer stares back sternly. Liu Qingge huffs silently, crossing his arms over his chest, and pretending to listen to Zhangmen Shixiong. Once the sect leader is done, Shang Qinghua starts passing around scrolls and talking about numbers and Liu Qingge starts wishing that Black Winged Wyvern had actually killed him a week ago.
He survives the meeting (barely) and escapes Qiong Ding peak as soon as he can. He flies to Xian Shu peak. Technically, no men are allowed to visit there, but it’s a special case for Liu Qingge since his sister is the head disciple. He lands at the designated point and sends a qi message to Mingyan to come to the open air pavilion near the gates. This is the only area of Xian Shu peak open to the rest of the sect. Any further in, and non-Peak sect members must be accompanied by a disciple.
A few minutes later, his baby sister shows up in a whirl of purple robes and tinkly little bells. Liu Qingge hopes that she removes the jangly bells from her hair when she goes on night hunts.
A-Yan flings herself happily into his arms, and Liu Qingge holds her tight for a few long moments. He’s missed her! She has this thoughtful way about her. Unlike Liu Qingge, she doesn’t often say the wrong thing or make people angry. Liu Mingyan is both gentle and fierce, and no one better be taking advantage of that!
“Meimei,” Liu Qingge says gruffly, stepping back at last and patting her shoulder awkwardly.
A-Yan’s eyes crinkle at the corners, a sign she’s grinning under her veil. It’s a delicate shade of purple, coordinating with her disciple robes. “Ge,” she says warmly. “What brings you here?”
All at once, Liu Qingge remembers why he’s upset. “Why is Shen Qingqiu of all people sending you messages? Is he harassing you? What did he want?”
To his surprise, the smile drops from Mingyan’s face. “It wasn’t anything like that, Ge,” she says firmly. “He had a problem and I was uniquely qualified with the answer. So he sent over a short missive asking for my help. I told him how to fix his problem and that was that.”
Frowning, Liu Qingge crosses his arms over his chest. “You still didn’t tell me what he wanted. Or why you had to help.”
With her veil, A-Yan’s expression can be hard for others to read. But Liu Qingge is an expert at it. He’s been doing it since she was little more than a toddler, tying scarves around her face to prevent the aunties from pinching her cheeks. And right now, she’s looking stubborn. “It wouldn’t matter to anyone else,” she says evasively. “And Shen Shibo was perfectly polite. Which I told Shizun several times already, but she insists on seeing the worst in him.”
“That’s because he’s scum,” Liu Qingge says harshly.
Liu Mingyan sighs. “Ge.” She rubs her forehead. “Just don’t. Don’t make things harder for him than they already are. Promise me.”
Why is his sister defending him?! Liu Qingge needs to get to the bottom of this, before Shen Qingqiu takes further advantage of A-Yan’s innate goodness. He straightens his back. “I will find out what he’s hiding.” He takes off, ignoring A-Yan’s frustrated shout of “Ge!”
*
Liu Qingge flies directly to Qing Jing peak. He knows where Shen Qingqiu lives, of course he does. It’s so tempting to just kick the door in, but for his sister, he will make an effort. He pounds on the door with his fist, and it shakes under the pressure.
After several seconds, nothing happens. Liu Qingge sends a pulse of qi through the structure, searching for life. There’s a qi signature in the building, but so muted he nearly missed it. That can’t possibly be Shen Qingqiu, who -in spite of his terrible cultivation-has a qi presence that is very noticeable.
Is he holding someone hostage in there? What’s going on? Lips pressed together in determination, he leans back on one leg and kicks the door. The wood is no match for the War God and it basically falls apart. Liu Qingge steps through the wreckage. “Shen Qingqiu!” He shouts. “Come out, now!”
Curious, he looks around. The paper shades are all shut, blocking out the light. He takes a step forward and his boots crunch on something. Looking down, he finds the shattered remains of a ceramic tea cup on the floor. Weird.
Keeping himself alert for attacks, Liu Qingge stalks through the front room. The qi presence is at the back of the house and to the right, so he heads that way. “Shen Qingqiu? Answer me!” He passes a large silk screen and then to the right there’s two small steps leading to a separate room. A bedroom?
Liu Qingge ascends the stairs and peeks in the room. It is a bedroom. It’s quite dark, the windows have the shades pulled down, with light blocking talismans stuck to them. On the far side of the room is a large bed.
It’s a mess, is what he notices. He’d always imagined that Shen Qingqiu must be a neat and tidy person, the way he never leaves the house unless his face, clothes and hair are perfect, so Liu Qingge feels a bit shocked about the dirty robes on the floor and the general foreboding feeling in the room.
“Shen Qingqiu?” He says this with more trepidation. But -oh, he realizes. The lump on the bed which he’d taken for blankets, moves.
What the hell? Shen Qingqiu is just laying around?!
Angrily striding forward, Liu Qingge rips the covers off the bed.
And blinks, confused.
The man in the bed is dressed only in white sleep pants, upper body bare. Liu Qingge can count every rib, and more importantly, the man’s entire torso is covered with scars. Burn scars. Whip scars. Slicing and slashing scars that suggest he was tortured with knives. They’re long healed.
They’re old.
Frowning deeply, Liu Qingge holds up a palmful of qi while he stares down in shock.
Shen Qingqiu is nearly unrecognizable. His eye sockets are sunken in, with dark circles underneath. The rest of his face is hidden by a green silk veil that covers everything just below his eyes. Liu Qingge takes one look at the veil, and recognizes it immediately.
It’s one his sister has made. The tiny array woven into the corners is one that prevents removal by anyone except the person that has applied it. Unless, of course, one knows the trick to doing so. Liu Mingyan’s spirit roots are very like Liu Qingge’s. And like all older brothers, he made a sport of teasing his little sister for many years.
The question is why? Why does Shen Qingqiu suddenly need to wear a veil? What exactly is he hiding? Pursing his lips, Liu Qingge makes a decision. He gathers qi to his fingertips and flicks it expertly at the sides of Shen Qingqiu’s veil.
The green silk flutters away from his face, revealing the angry red slash across the plane of his face. From the left temple straight down to below the corner of his mouth is an ugly looking slice. The edges of the wound are not quite together, revealing yellow tissue underneath. Some of the edges are black, and streaks of red travel away from the wound toward the hinge of Shen Qingqiu’s jaw and up toward his ear.
It looks…bad.
Really bad.
Stirring a little, Shen Qingqiu turns toward Liu Qingge’s qi-light, squinting. “What do you want?” He hisses quietly. He makes a distressed sound, realizing that his veil has been stripped away. “Come to gloat? Fine. Now, get out.” He doesn’t meet Liu Qingge’s eyes.
Speechless, Liu Qingge swallows. Shen Qingqiu sounds…defeated. Where is the fire, the vitriol that the other man likes to spit? Like this…he’s a husk of his normal self. “What happened to you?” He asks, realizing too late he actually sounds concerned of all things. “Who did this to you?” Something in his chest stirs briefly. If someone outside the sect did this to Shen Qingqiu, Liu Qingge will track them down and bring them to justice.
Shen Qingqiu rubs his eyes and manages to sit up. “Oh, stop pretending like you care, brute. We both know you’ve been wanting to see me brought low. Well, you finally got your wish. Congratulations.”
Liu Qigge feels offended! Okay, yes he might have wished that Shen Qingqiu would get what’s coming to him for being a lecher, cheater and all round terrible person, but…seeing him this way.
No. He never wanted this.
“Tell me who did this to you,” Liu Qingge says at last. “I will fight them.”
Avoiding his eyes, Shen Qingqiu says, “It’s not a who. It’s a what. Anyway, this can’t be fixed. At all. So don’t worry your pretty little head about it.” To Liu Qingge’s amazement, Shen Qingqiu actually laughs. “As a matter of fact, brute, you won’t need to worry about me anymore, period.”
“What do you mean?” Liu Qingge demands, glaring.
“My cultivation has been destroyed. Permanently. I’m leaving as soon as I can. You’ll finally be happy.” Shen Qingqiu laughs again and it’s a terrible sound. “You’ll have to find someone else to blame for all life’s wrongdoings.” Finally, Shen Qingqiu meets his eyes. “Exit Scum Villain, stage right.” His green eyes glimmer with unshed tears, then he cuts his eyes away. He says just above a whisper, “Everything I’ve worked for…gone.”
Something twists in Liu Qingge’s chest. Shen Qingqiu…crying? No. Shen Qingqiu doesn’t cry. He rages, he screams, he fights.
He doesn’t just…give up like this.
“What happened?” Liu Qingge asks, finally.
“What difference does it make?” Shen Qingqiu asks, reaching down and pulling the blankets back up over his body. He turns away from Liu Qingge, curling into a ball. “You’ll just tell me it’s my own fault, that a scum like me deserves whatever happened. No matter what I say, you won’t believe me.” He sighs heavily. “You never have.”
Liu Qingge opens his mouth and then closes it again. He waits for a long time for Shen Qingqiu to say something else, to clarify what he meant. But other than some shuddering breaths, Shen Qingqiu is utterly silent.
When the other man starts roughly wiping his face, Liu Qingge understands that he’s crying. His stomach twists uncomfortably and he leaves without another word.
He still doesn’t know why Shen Qingqiu sent a message to his sister. Although. That slice down his cheek….Why would he try to hide it? Liu Qingge doesn’t think when it heals it will be too bad. Shen Qingqiu just needs to get used to it.
All the other scars and old injuries written into his skin…that’s so strange. How would a young master like Shen Qingqiu have gotten those injuries?
No matter what I say, you won’t believe me. You never have.
It occurs to Liu Qingge when he’s halfway across the Rainbow Bridge that Shen Qingqiu had never spoken about his youth or childhood. He never spoke about his family. Could it be…that he wasn’t a young master?
And what in the world could have happened to his cultivation? Unless he was attacked with some kind of cursed weapon? Liu Qingge can’t think of any weapon that leaves a festering wound like that, though.
One thing is certain. He will find out what did this, and wipe them from the earth.
The War God of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect strides across the bridge, deliberately not thinking of how a couple of months ago he got into a fight with Shen Qingqiu.
He doesn’t think about the fiery rage in Shen Qingqiu’s eyes, or the elegant way he danced out of the way of Liu Qingge’s strikes.
He doesn’t think of the triumph in the other man’s expression when he’d managed to land a lucky kick to Liu Qingge’s midsection.
Even in defeat (as that was inevitable) Shen Qingqiu remained unbowed, unbroken- screaming at Liu Qingge from the ground where Liu Qingge shoved a knee in between his shoulder blades, restraining his sword arm.
That’s what Shen Qingqiu is supposed to be like: Full of life, angry, spitting fire and venom… Not.
Not curled up into a ball, hiding his face away with his will to survive taken.
For a moment, Liu Qingge’s mind drifts and he tries to imagine his life without Shen Qingqiu at the periphery.
An empty seat next to the sect leader at meetings.
No one to goad, no one to needle into fighting, no one sneaky enough to make Liu Qingge work for his victory…
No, Liu Qingge decides. Shen Qingqiu isn’t allowed to roll over and give up. And although Liu Qingge doesn’t want to examine that thought too much, he silently accepts that he’s going to do whatever it takes to make Shen Qingqiu live.
Anything else is-
His stomach twists, and vomit rises in his throat. Liu Qingge swallows it back down, and keeps walking across his peak, heading to Qian Cao.
Anything else is unacceptable.
Notes: Instead of going to therapy, I am writing this fic. When the face looking back at you in the mirror suddenly becomes alien, it's hard to deal with.
Anyway, it's easy to take having two front teether for granted. Ask me how I know! (actually don't, please.)
Hope you will enjoy this story though it may be a bit darker than my usual fare, very much reflecting my current mood.