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When Logan had decided to keep living in the tiny apartment he now shares with Althea, Wade and their fucked up little dog, he had assumed the hardest part of it would be getting used to living a somewhat normal life. Getting a normal person job. Trying to get sober, trying to be there for Laura, trying to be a good man after so long feeling like the the biggest fuck-up to ever disgrace the whole fucking multiverse.
Most of all, trying to stay.
He is tired of sabotaging himself and very determined to not run away from the good things in his life again. Even when things get complicated. Even when shit gets difficult. And what he has in this new universe is a good thing. A too good thing, even, so good he definitely does not deserve it, but he is not going to let go of it this time.
Turns out, the hardest part is trying to stay sane around the Merc with a Mouth when there is nowhere to run off to.
Sure, Logan had considered that Wade was an annoying little shit most of the time, but the man is also incredibly good — even if his moral compass is a tad skewed and he is at least a little bit insane — and his hyperactivity could be dealt with easily enough: Make him bleed a little, give Wade the opportunity to get all of his energy out by stabbing Logan with his beloved Baby Knife, get him a brand new baking book — his attempts at baking went sideways more often than not, but it did usually keep him occupied for a few hours at a time.
Normally, Logan would drag Wade out to fight him, get him into the woods and then hunt him down until they were both bloody and content and, most importantly, calm. And if that did not help, then Logan could still get out of the apartment alone, find himself a dive bar, go on a walk or ride the bike Wade had found for him shortly after he had moved in. Logan still has no idea where he had come across it and how he had paid for it, had thought better of it than to ask, because it is actually really nice and Logan is pretty sure he does not really wanna know the answer to those questions anyway. He is a smart enough man to not look the gift horse in the mouth.
So getting around Wade’s nervous energy without daily attempts at murder would be more than manageable.
Or so he had thought.
Now it is the middle of summer and it has been raining for what feels like weeks. All day long, raining curtains type of weather, and they have been stuck inside for the better part of it. Logan could go out, but he doesn’t really want to. He is fucking tired of coming home dripping wet. And nobody’s forcing him to go out — only problem is, Wade won’t leave the apartment either, and the man has been increasingly active these last few days.
Fighting is out of question for multiple reasons: Neither of them want to go to the woods right now, Wade had tried suggesting the training room at the X-Mansion exactly once and, after Logan’s very calm and collected reaction to the idea, never again, and Althea doesn’t allow any fighting in the apartment. Much as Logan loathes it on days like today, the rule is more than reasonable, considering the cleanup always takes ages and Althea, though more dangerous than most old ladies, doesn’t have a healing factor like they do.
Logan had, with no effort required at all, convinced Wade to order a new recipe book, but it has not arrived yet. They are out of supplies anyway and no way Logan is leaving the apartment in this weather if he doesn’t absolutely have to. And baking supplies are nothing essential.
Currently, Wade is sat on the ground, cleaning his weapons and humming a little tune in between calling out random, newly invented and increasingly unhinged ice cream flavors and it is driving Logan fucking nuts. This nonsense has been going on for more than two hours at this point. He can’t hear it anymore. Even the thought of ice cream makes him sick to his stomach.
“How about dusty tractor tire with champagne?” Wade asks with a grin, while Logan is just trying to read in peace. He feels a bit nauseous. For fucks sake.
He can only face time Vanessa so often to get her to babysit Wade for a while.
“Wade.”
“Yeees, honey badger? Got a contribution?”
“No. Can it.” Then, after a little pause: “Please.”
“Aww,” Wade pouts, “You’re no fun.”
But he does stay quiet.
Logan’s short break lasts about two and a half minutes. And then Wade just keeps going, seemingly having forgotten about Logan’s plea for mercy.
“Ohh, how about cotton candy cat fur? Or blood of an unknown donor with shards of glass? Even better: Unicorn dust with kraken tentacles. Or—”
“Shut the fuck up, Wade!”
Wade does, and Logan immediately feels guilty for shouting at him. He doesn't wanna snap at Wade. The anger just feels so achingly familiar, lashing out practically second nature to him.
Logan recognizes it for what it is, now, pushing others away before they realize how unlovable he really is and leave him. As if it would make the hurt any lesser.
He doesn't want to hurt Wade, though. Not blindly at least — hurting with intention is different. Fighting when Wade wants to fight him too, that’s fun.
Logan doesn’t want to push away the man that held him in the aftermath of multiple nightmares, even after being impaled in his sleep again and again, and still got up every time to get him a ridiculous, marshmallow sprinkled hot chocolate because he doesn't know what else to do to help. Logan couldn’t care less for the too-sweet beverage and still he takes it every time, dutifully drinks it all, because Wade cares for him and that realization is an addicting rush every time, his heart aching somewhat fierce and still so sweet. Fuck. Wade is simply good, he's so kind, he cares. Logan doesn't want that to go to waste, all of his efforts, so he keeps doing his best to get better. To earn that love and care. He feels so damn cherished.
And screaming at Wade for just being himself when Logan had noticed right from the start how fucking low his self esteem is, even if he has a huge ego, is not something Logan feels particularly proud of. Not looking back and especially not now.
“Sorry, bub.” Logan starts, grinding his teeth. “Just—”
“You need to calm the fuck down, motherfucker.” Althea interrupts him harshly from where she is sat on the couch, definitely not high as a kite. “You’re driving all of us to do drugs.”
“Fine.” Wade gets up with a little huff, packs up his cleaning supplies and leaves in the direction of the bedroom. Logan thinks maybe he’ll sulk in there for a while, but instead Wade returns a short while later with a few coils of rope in hand and a light blush high on his cheeks. He looks directly at Logan and it would have felt like a challenge if he did not look so uncharacteristically shy right now.
“You want me calm? Tie me up.”
“Don’t play your freaky sex games when I’m right next to you on the couch, ya fucker! Bad enough I have to listen to it all the time!”
“It’s not that,” Wade says quietly as he sits down on the sofa, holding the dark red rope in a white knuckled grip.
Quite frankly, it is one of the weirdest things Logan has seen in a while.
Wade and shame just don't match, but he looks embarrassed now, nervous and twitchy.
“So, back when Vanessa and I were still a thing she used to tie me up, sometimes. Amazing times, really, super hot and all. She’d make me—”
“Wade.”
“Yes, right. So—”
This was much more expected. Wade constantly overshared about his private life with Vanessa, so much so that it had become second nature to Logan to just tune him out. When he had really gotten to know Vanessa, some time after the birthday party-repeat, he had been a bit taken aback by just how much of her humor and attitude overlapped with Wade’s, joining right in when he started up with his retelling of ‘One Thousand and One Nights of Increasingly Creative Sexual Practices’. Then again— it made sense. So that was that.
But now, telling Logan about non-sexual bondage and how it always worked wonders in getting him down real fast, he seems actually shy. Like this is something really close to his heart and he is afraid he'll be judged for it. Doesn’t matter what kinds of deranged fantasies he loves to describe to Logan in great detail over a cup of coffee early in the morning — from being fucked by tentacles and being used as a living incubator for weird oversized alien eggs to getting treated like someone’s personal fucktoy and sex slave and being made to wear maid dresses and kitty ears 24/7 — there had never been so much as a blush on his cheeks, and if there was, then because of the fact that he was aroused while he was telling Logan all this shit and popping a fucking boner. It had happened often enough.
But seeing Wade insecure like this? That’s a first.
“We figured out that it calmed me down, being tied up. So, sometimes, when nothing else worked, we’d get my special quiet time ropes,” and here his eyes flit down to the rope he is holding, which looks surprisingly soft, now that Logan is really paying attention to it, “and I’d let her tie me up. Nothing fancy, just so I couldn’t move. Well, sometimes fancy. Anyway— Then we’d put on a movie or something, leave the restraints on for a while.”
Wade bites his lip, looks up to Logan with a slightly sheepish expression.
“Obviously, I haven’t done it in a hot minute. But I promise it’ll help and I’ll try not to make it weird, really, peanut. And don’t worry about the knots, I can teach you—”
“No need,” Logan interrupts Wade, his voice actually a bit rough, “‘m pretty sure I know more types of knots than you do, bub.”
Wade’s eyes widen a little, and though he thankfully stays silent when Logan holds up his hand to keep him from interrupting, he can basically hear Wade’s elated cackle.
“You know how to tie people up? Damn, Wolvie, I always knew you were a lil’ freak! I need you to tell me all about where and when you learned it and who you used to play with— for science, of course! Ah, history. Gotta document it and all…”
“Anyway, I’ve never done non-sexual bondage before, but I imagine it is pretty similar to what I already know,” Logan says, smiling a little. Feels like he should reassure Wade, and isn’t that something? But Wade has always tried to help him. Now it is his turn to get cared for. If getting tied up is something Wade wants, something that helps him calm down, Logan is more than happy to assist him with that.
“So… you’d be down to tie me up every now and then?”
“Sure,” comes Logan’s gruff answer.
He smells a little change in Wade’s scent, nothing big, nothing obtrusive. Just a little horny. It makes the corners of his mouth twitch.
That’s when Althea decides to speed things up a little. She gropes Wade next to her on the couch until she finds the rope and tosses it in the approximate direction of Logan, who manages to catch it just in time.
“Alright, you freaks, get on with it. Logan, dear, do your worst.” She gets up from her spot on the couch and makes herself comfortable in Logan’s armchair instead, startling a little when Mary Puppins immediately follows and jumps into her lap. “But no fucking while I’m in the room, you hear me? I may be blind, but I’m not stupid.”
“Roger, Al!” Wade salutes, then shuffles over to make some space for Logan. He pets the place next to him. Logan follows the invitation, starting to uncoil the rope as he goes.
“How do you want it?”
Wade thinks about it for a moment, then shrugs.
“Dealer’s choice. But preferably something comfortable.”
Logan nods, sits down and starts by tying his legs first, thigh to ankle. He already has something in mind he thinks Wade might like.
“Sooo—” Wade starts, and Logan closes his eyes with a sigh. Here comes the interrogation. “This a regular thing for you? Like, tying people up? Standard…” Wade thinks for a moment, then goes on, “Standard Thursday afternoon?”
Logan shakes his head fondly. Wade sounds so damn nervous. It’s fucking ridiculous.
“I used to dom, back in the day. Haven’t done it in quite some time, but I’ve always liked using rope on my subs.”
“Oh my Marvel Jesus! I can’t believe I found myself the one Wolverine that’s into BDSM. That’s like— All my dreams just came true.” Wade sighs happily and gives his hands up without any protest when Logan reaches for them to tie up next. “What kinda scenes did you do? And who were your subs? Oh, and—”
“Wade,” Logan grips his wrist a little tighter, tone serious but still a tad playful, “we can talk about this another time. Thought you wanted to calm down?”
“Yeah. Right.” Wade nodded, then closed his eyes. Was that a little smile or was Logan just imagining things?
When Wade had told them the ropes would get him ‘real calm real quick’ he had not been joking, Logan realizes as he finishes up the last few knots, tests the tightness and settles Wade more comfortably, allowing him to relax and lean against Logan where they sit. Over the course of a few minutes he has gone from running his mouth constantly and struggling with sitting still to letting himself be moved around by Logan like a puppet and barely speaking at all, gone almost fully lax the moment Logan is done.
“Should have told us this trick earlier, bub,” Logan jokes, trying to hide how much this is affecting him, too — how much it means to him that Wade trusts him to do this. That he lets Logan do this, lets himself be this vulnerable around him.
He clears his throat and unfolds one of the many blankets they have lying around. This particular one is baby pink with a ton of chipper Hello Kittys printed all over it and a set of six small neat holes from where Logan stabbed it once on accident. It is ridiculous, is what it is, but Logan knows Wade loves it, so he pulls it over him, trying to make him as comfortable as possible.
“I can hear your heartbeat,” Wade whispers at him when he reaches for the remote and Logan almost laughs out loud at that, so used to hearing the heartbeats of the people around him that he sometimes forgets most of them don’t share the experience.
“What do you want to see?”
Wade thinks for a moment, suggests ‘My Little Pony’ which gets veto’d by Althea and ‘H 2 O: Just Add Water’ which Logan immediately shuts down. Eventually, they settle on ‘The Hunger Games’, which everyone present seems happy enough with.
“Hey, Lo?” Wade asks after a while, quiet as to not disturb Althea’s listening experience too much. Logan looks down at Wade, one eyebrow tipping up in question. But Wade isn’t looking at him. Instead, he is looking at the TV screen in front of them, head rested on Logan’s shoulder. Logan flexes his arm around him, pulls him a little closer, draws the blanket that has started to slip down back up.
“Why… are you doing all this? Like. You’re being suspiciously nice about all of this.”
Logan takes a moment to think on it, then answers as honest as possible: “You always take care of me. Gave me a new life, a home, help me with my nightmares. Never ask for anything. You deserve nice things, too.”
And he really means it. Wade does deserve good things, he deserves to be taken care of just as much as he always tries to take care of others. No matter how much of an immature ass he can be at times.
Despite Wade believing he is being all sneaky about it, Logan is very aware that Wade has more than just a little crush on him. At some point, even someone as emotionally dense as him is bound to notice. Especially after half of his shirts went missing one by one under frankly very suspicious circumstances.
And Logan, he is falling too. Knows he is, would be lying if he told himself he wasn’t, but he needs more time. Wants to figure his shit out before committing to a relationship, doesn’t want to let his people down again. They don’t deserve it.
Besides, watching Wade flail is so much fun. Leaving worn shirts out for him to disappear, walking around in just his towel after a nice shower, squeezing by him in the tiny kitchen — it is fun. He enjoys it. Wade’s always calling him a huge tease for it, and he is right. Fuck, Wade has no idea just how fucking right he is about that one.
This right here, though? Sitting with Althea, Wade and Mary Puppins, watching a movie together, cuddling, actually doing something for Wade for once? It is good.
Looking back, Logan isn’t actually surprised about this new information he just learned about his maybe-more-than-just-roommate. After all, tying him up in that stupid Honda Odyssey had been the very thing that finally shut him up. Honestly, Logan muses, he should have thought of it a lot sooner.
A bit tentatively at first he starts petting Wade’s arm, just moving his hand up and down a little. When that gets a content sigh out of Wade and only results in him practically melting into Logan’s side, he keeps going, calm, wide strokes over his back, his neck, his head. Wade seems to really like it — no real surprise there.
Around the halfway mark of the movie Logan carefully starts undoing the knots and slides the ropes away from Wade, making sure to massage his limbs as he does so. Get the blood flowing again, even if there isn’t any real health risk in what they are doing for Wade. It’s still important to Logan to do this right. The proper way.
Wade deserves nothing less.
Throughout the rest of the evening, Wade doesn’t really speak. It would be worrying to Logan if he did not smell how content he was or if he couldn’t hear his calm, steady heartbeat. The way things are, Logan is simply happy for him.
By the time the movie is over, Wade is fully asleep on top of Logan. The rain is still drumming against the windows, less aggressive now than just a few hours ago. More of a gentle lull.
While Althea calls dibs on the bathroom and Mary Puppins paddles over to her little dog bed, looking back at them to see if there are possibly a few belly rubs she could still be stealing tonight, Logan gets up as careful as he can, trying not to disturb Wade in his slumber. He shuts off the TV and sets up the pull out as best as possible with Wade still on it, then picks him up bridal style — and he just knows Wade would be squealing over it if he knew — to put him on his side of the bed. Logan pulls the blanket back over Wade, tucks him in, pets over his head one last time. He looks so peaceful right now, not at all like the kind of man that would do almost any job if the money was right. But Wade is that kind of man, and Logan is the kind of man that ran away from what he loved and murdered innocent people in blind revenge when he lost it all, and as he bends down to press a chaste little kiss to Wade’s forehead he doesn’t care about any of it.
“That’s gay.” Wade murmurs, and it startles Logan so much it leaves him speechless. Cursing at his own blushing face, he practically storms off to the bathroom.
So much for taking it slow.