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Trini does not have a crush on Kimberly Hart. She can't. Because Kimberly Hart is her best friend, one of her only friends, and this thing between them; this coffee dates, late night study sessions, movie nights on the couch, texting first thing in the morning and between classes and when she is lying in bed staring at her ceiling after midnight thing is the best thing to ever happen to her. And yeah, she is including becoming a superhero. And she will not ruin it just because of a few unwanted feelings.
So Trini cannot have a crush on Kim, damn it. Instead she vehemently ignores it like she has ignored every other crush on every other girl that she is too awkward, too shy, too moody for, and anxiously waits for it to go away. Ignores the way their fingers fit together when Kim takes her hand, ignores the way her lips instantly quirk in a minute smile when she hears Kim's notification tone on her phone, ignores the way her heart races when Kim leans into her side on the couch, the way her mouth goes dry when she watches Kim spar, the way her whole body tingles when Kim hugs her. And it is fine. She is good. Everything is great.
…
Trini is carrying the steaming bowl of popcorn into the dimly lit living room, adamantly not fixating on the way the blue glow from the television highlights Kim’s sharp jawline, when Kim looks over to her, smiling, and lifts the blanket on her lap up in invitation, her legs propped up on the coffee table, and when did she have time to change into pink short shorts and God her legs go on forever and-
"Oh my God, Trini, are you okay?"
Trini manages to lift her head from the carpet high enough to flash what she hopes is a charming, self-deprecating grin at Kim and gives a thumbs up before letting her face fall back into the fibers with a muffled thump. Wishes that the floor would open up and swallow her whole. Any second now would be great. She hears the soft click of plastic on wood as Kim places the bowl on the coffee table, feels her gentle, familiar hands on her shoulders, lets her guide her up and onto the couch.
Kim's hand finds Trini’s chin, tilts her face up as she leans forward, their eyes meeting, and Trini blushes at the raw worry that she sees in them, "you sure you're okay?"
Trini's embarrassment fades at Kim's concern, and she nods, "yeah. Sorry about the popcorn."
Kim tucks a strand of hair behind her ear before getting up, "it’s alright, I'll just make more, we'll clean it up after."
Kim disappears into the kitchen with the empty bowl and Trini stuffs a pillow into her face.
…
"How's ignoring your huge crush on Kimberly going?" Zack nudges her shoulder as he walks beside her down the science wing after school, never used chemistry book tucked under his arm.
Trini rolls her eyes and huffs, "I do not have a crush on Kim."
It takes her a few steps to realize that he is no longer beside her, and when she turns he is standing in the middle of the hall with that stupid, smug, I know you and I know when you're lying look that she hates on his stupid, smug face.
She crosses her arms and waits. He raises an eyebrow. She sighs, annoyed. "It's just a little crush."
“Hah! I knew it!” Zack beams and she pivots on her heel. Starts back down the hall. He catches up to her in three long strides, "and ‘little?’ Bullshit; NASA can see your crush from the space station."
"That doesn't even make sense -" her phone beeps; Kim's tone, and Trini fishes it out of her pocket, smile on her face.
- which one looks better? -
A picture pops up of Kim wearing a pastel pink mini skirt and a white tank top and Trini's eyes widen as she tries to swallow, her heart inexplicably lodged in her throat.
Before she can begin to process what she is seeing a second picture pops up of Kim in black ripped skinny jeans and a leather jacket and -
Her face meets an open locker door and suddenly she is looking up at the ceiling, the chill of the tile seeping through her clothes and cooling her flushed skin. She lifts her phone up and sighs at the cracked screen. Zack's face hovers over her, eyebrow raised.
She groans, "terrible. Ignoring my huge crush is going terrible."
…
This stupid little non-crush that she is doing great at ignoring is starting to get out of control; her brain is starting to blow every tiny thing way out of proportion. Because she swears that their hugs are tighter, are lasting longer, are happening more and more often. That the soft sigh that escapes Kim when they finally part sounds almost disappointed. Swears that Kim is taking her hand more; under the table at lunch, during lab, while they are standing next to each other in the pit. Swears that the space between them keeps shrinking; that Kim is pressing her side against Trini’s when they are in line for coffee, curled up on the couch, by the bonfire. Swears that she keeps catching Kim looking, not just looking; staring at her, that she has caught Kim biting her lip more than once.
She stares at her cracked ceiling and replays every moment in her head long after Kim’s texts have dwindled off for the night. Tries to snuff the little flicker of hope that keeps rising in her chest. Wonders what her lips feel like.
…
She is being pushed back, inch by inch, her boots scraping against the gravel. She tries to dig in with her heels, but the putties keep uprooting her as they press forward. For each one she knocks down three more seem to pop up, and for the first time since fighting Rita her mind is completely, blissfully, blank as her training and muscle memory take over. Blank except for the innate knowledge that there is a cliff behind her, inching ever closer, leading to a fall that even a ranger cannot survive.
Panic starts to squeeze her chest and she grits her teeth, flexes her clenched fingers, fights fiercer; desperate. For a second, two, it is enough. Then a putty's foot lands a solid hit to her stomach and she falters, stumbles back. Her heel catches the tip of a jagged rock and when she puts her other foot down to brace herself there is nothing but open air beneath her. Time stops as she falls, falls, falls.
Pink fingers wrap around her wrist, yank her up with enough force to throw her forward onto solid ground several yards ahead of the cliff's edge, and if she were not wearing armor every joint in her arm would be dislocated. As it is it will hurt tomorrow but she is alive and Kim is ripping through the putties with more ferocity than Trini has ever seen from her. She takes a second to catch her breath, to control the new flood of adrenaline, to watch, awestruck, and then she is back in the fight.
…
Trini morphs out of her armor, drawing it back into her center, and suddenly she is being pulled into Kim’s arms in a fierce hug, Kim’s fingers digging into her clothes. She feels Kim shaking against her, practically vibrating with exhausted nerves and raw emotion, and hugs her back just as tightly. She cannot get the memory of feeling nothingness under her foot, of weightlessness, of pure panic, out of her head, so she clings to Kim, lets the taller girl anchor her, as they both shudder out strained breaths. She does not know how long it lasts, this hug on top of the cliff; she just knows that they both need it.
…
She had hoped that the whole almost falling to her death thing that happened an hour ago would stamp out her stupid crush once and for all, but as she watches a sweaty Kim in nothing but a tank top and shorts gather supplies in the medical bay Trini silently resigns herself to the fact that she will never truly be over Kimberly Hart.
Kimberly Hart who is now standing in front of her, hands on her hips, waiting for a response.
Trini blinks, "what?"
"I said take off your shirt, I need to look at your shoulder."
Trini stiffens, slides off of the alien metal counter, starts pacing in an attempt to ward off the panic rapidly filling her chest, "what? No. I'm fine."
Kim furrows her brow, confused, as her eyes follow Trini, "we've patched each other up a hundred times, what's wrong?"
Trini squeaks out, "nothing.” Tries to head for the door. “So you don't need to look at it."
Kim steps in front of her path and gently rests a hand on her hip, and Trini’s traitorous body leans into the touch, "Trini... just talk to me. "
Trini huffs, sighs, tries to swallow around her heart in her throat, again. Kim’s hand leaves her hip to entwine their fingers together, and she gives Trini’s hand a comforting squeeze. Trini stares at their shoes. It must be for too long because Kim nudges her foot with the toe of her boot. She huffs again. "I have a small crush on you.” She feels her cheeks flush. “It's nothing. It'll go away."
Kim steps closer and Trini's breath hitches. She feels Kim's thumb and fingers on her chin, lets Kim guide her head up until they are staring into each other's eyes. When did she get so close? Kim traces her jaw, "what if I don't want it to go away?"
"What?!" Trini staggers back, tripping over her own two feet, but Kim is there, like she was on the cliff, and easily catches her in her arms.
Trini grips her shoulders, waits for Kim to speak with baited breath, tries to ready herself for rejection. Kim leans in close, eyes twinkling, "are you falling for me, Trini?"
Trini groans and rolls her eyes, then scrunches her nose, "you have no idea. ...If you don't feel the same"
Kim's lips are soft, hesitant, against hers, and it takes all of her willpower not to push back too rough, too fast. Instead she matches Kim's movements; the tilt of her head, the teasing brush of a tongue, the gentle pressure. Thank God Kim is already holding her because Trini's knees actually go weak.
Too soon Kim is pulling back, "I feel the same."
Trini nods, dazed, "okay. Good. That's good-"
Kim is kissing her again, and Trini is tripping, falling, into this, hard, but Kim is there to catch her.