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Since he was a little boy Jae-Ha knew about the existence of soulmates, however it was not a subject that kept him or anyone else awake at night.
Despite the fact that most people had their "destined" person, many went on with their lives without making the slightest effort to find such a person. After all, there were many types of links. Some were more noticeable and marked than others; in the case of having a visible mark or initials that facilitated the search, one could make the effort to trace your soulmate; other cases were more uncertain and not very clear, the marks were in places that could not be seen by everyone, or it could be scars that curiously complement each other. It even happened that a couple met and some time later they discovered that they were already destined.
On the other hand there were more bizarre or unfortunate conditions. He himself had seen a little girl from his village go from time to time to the community lake to wipe her arms and face full of scribbles. Probably his soulmate was a mischievous child who wanted to take advantage of the peculiar situation to play pranks on a poor person whom, in spite of everything, he doesn't even know anything about.
He had also overheard conversations from his cell of young people and adults lamenting about one or another disability that they must live with until the day they find their soulmate. These ranged from not being able to see colors, hear certain tones or have limitations when speaking. Or they would suddenly feel anguish, a sign that their special someone was suffering; they would get a headache out of nowhere or even faint.
Bullshit . Jae-Ha thought to himself. If he didn't already have enough with the stupid legend of Hiryuu and his cursed blood, he also had to live with the knowledge that fate would have someone to complement him. As if he was broken or couldn't be someone in life if he didn't find his soulmate.
The universe hated him, that was clear. Why would some people live peacefully without the need to find their other half? Why was it enough for others to have initials on some part of their body as a clue? Why did he have to suffer or make the individual who was linked to him suffer?
...
It all began when he was barely five springs old. He was playing in the sand with his ball and some toys he had taken out of the trash can, being supervised by Garou who was looking at him suspiciously, ready to catch him and hit him as soon as he tried to run away when suddenly he felt a terrible and sharp pain in his back that made him scream and cry, it felt as if part of his skin had been ripped off.
He was crying and hyperventilating, but in the midst of his pain he looked up, finding something he had never seen before in his short life: the worried look of Garou, who arrived at his side in the blink of an eye, removed the upper part of his clothes to look for some kind of wound, sting or snake bite, finding only four lines that seemed to be the product of the claws of a wild animal. No blood came out, however, they were whitish in color and glowed as if there was white fire under the skin of the little green dragon.
As the hours passed, the mark faded away until it completely disappeared as if nothing had happened. With that, the elder dragon's suspicion was confirmed: what had happened had nothing to do with the legend of the dragons, but was the work of another kind of destiny. A very cruel one awaited Jae-Ha, who lay asleep on the mat that the villagers had assigned him as a bed.
Time passed without further mishap for the now thirteen-year-old dragon. He had only felt the occasional bump or pain from falls, disciplinary swipes or carelessness. That made him happy, it meant that at least his soul mate was living a quiet life. On the other hand, he was now the one who felt sorry for having caused his special someone to suffer so much. Regardless of whether he would ever in his life meet her, he felt that perhaps he owed her an apology, as much as he himself was not to blame for having lived a horrible, abuse-filled life.
"We may share physical pain, but how can I know if my soulmate feels lonely, miserable or hopeless like I sometimes feel?" thought Jae-Ha once as he rested in the hammock of a ship full of men and led by a somewhat elderly woman by the name of Gi-Gan. He had finally found his home, although he was now a young man wanted by authority he would not trade his family for anything in the world. No one despised him there, no one found him unpleasant and no one forced him to give up his freedom.
Before, the idea of meeting the man or woman (yes, at sixteen he had already had some approaches with men and women who had made his orientation very clear to him) generated some rejection, as if it was something that would also condemn him; but now he did not hate it so much. Maybe if he met them, they could protect each other and be each other's emotional support. Having someone who understands and accepts you wasn't so unpleasant if you took away the magical, goofy part where everyone basically tells you that you lack someone in your life to be complete and happy. Adding to that, soulmates could even be platonic, he knew of cases where those involved were just friends who even though they felt that indescribable attraction and urge to be close to the other person, they did not develop romantic feelings, marrying another person they did love in that way instead.
For him, love was not a matter of you finding someone who has what you lack, but the point of a relationship was that both parts grow individually with the support of the other.
...
Currently, his position on the subject that always plagued him was that if the opportunity to meet his destined one presented itself, he would take it. The months had passed, and with them, the years. He was now twenty-one years old, and he had a feeling that maybe some things in his soulmate's life were starting to get tense.
Sometimes out of nowhere he would start to feel a burning in his neck or arms, and as soon as he checked, he would notice the faint vertical lines that glowed for a couple of minutes before disappearing. They were nail marks, probably the person scratched themself until they bled thanks to some situation that put them under stress and tension.
Maybe after so many pain that he suffered through his life was that he developed a masochistic attitude. Sometimes he enjoyed the blows or hurtful words that the soldiers or mercenaries he fought with would say to him after being defeated, it also amused him to see how shocked or angry his companions would get when he made comments or actions that they categorized as "out of place". He would be lying if he said he didn't go so far as to desire to be spanked or beaten during his one-night stands with the people he seduced, but he limited himself to being degraded and insulted instead. He did not want his soulmate to suffer pain that could be avoided.
Still, the occupational hazards took their toll and he often received cuts and the occasional punch that despite his attempts to keep his distance, he managed to receive when he got too close to the guys he was fighting with.
Jae-Ha was sure that his destined person would take resentment, if not hatred for putting him through a life full of pain. He would hate himself too if he were in the other’s place.
…
From his first moments of life he knew what pain was.
It all began with the wound that his father inherited from him as soon as he was born. He does not remember at all what he felt, with the passing of the years there was only a scar that at the time made him itchy, but he does not hold any grudge for what happened. He loved his father and always believed that his people overreacted to the incident. Yes, his life was endangered but he did not die and that was what mattered. His father was not some kind of monster or a mad and unstable person, that was clear to him.
However, and most likely, the reason his grandmother always overprotected him and he was treated as if at any moment he would break was because of the condition he was born with.
From the time he was a baby his people were terrified and very concerned for his welfare. Often crying and screaming in pain, his grandmother soon discovered that every time he became like this, green spots that seemed to glow from within his skin would appear on parts of his body and then disappear in a span of time no longer than a day. Apparently, the way of bonding with his soulmate was through pain.
He hated to see the worry on the faces of those close to him as they watched him suffer almost daily. Sometimes even the pain would knock him down and he would moan on the floor shaking and trying to catch his breath, with no intention of standing up again until it was all over.
At seven years old the pain stopped. Whole days passed in which he was fine, only feeling some discomfort from time to time caused perhaps by falls or blows, but they were no longer so constant. The pain he often felt in his wrists disappeared as well, the discomfort in his stomach however still did not disappear, in fact it increased, proof that he still felt a constant hunger caused by very little food. Perhaps the person had fled from where he was being hurt, having then to face a more autonomous life in which he was having difficulty getting food.
Five years later his life almost completely stabilized. From time to time he felt things, including the stabbing pain of cuts and a stabbing he felt when he was fortunately alone, avoiding a scandal of panicked people hovering around him. Maybe now his other half was a soldier... or some kind of guard or criminal. Which made him think that probably his disinterest in girls wasn't just because he already had someone destined, but because even that someone probably wasn't even female. Though he preferred not to think about that and rush to conclusions.
If you asked him, he would rather go back to feeling all the beatings he felt in his childhood than be harassed or date some girl from his village. It's not that he found them unpleasant, he just had no interest in getting together with a woman who rather than seeing him as a human, saw him as a trophy or a god.
He was only sixteen when his torment began. Girls would look at him more and more, trying to approach him and ask him out. He would always excuse himself by claiming that his grandmother was waiting for him at home only for her to show up from who knows where saying that it was okay for her grandson to go out with the pretty girls.
He was always alone. He shied away from females and men seemed to see him as someone superior to whom they should not speak. However, from time to time those who were nicer and friendlier would come over to say hello and chat a little with him, but never anything out of this world.
When his luck completely abandoned him, at least three girls would approach him and after talking to them a little so as not to appear rude, he would stand up, excusing himself saying that he was feeling sick and wanted to rest a while alone. But of course, his female admirers didn't seem to accept a rejection and pulled him back to where he had been sitting before, massaging his shoulders and arms without even asking for permission, commenting with laughter that he had a lot of accumulated tension. Of course, how could he not feel tense if someone suddenly touched him without first consulting him?
His grandmother always looked at him with a bit of pity and regret, encouraging him to choose some girl to be his wife, downplaying the issue of his soulmate. He would often try to decline her attempts to match him up, claiming that fate already had someone planned for him, to which she replied that soulmates didn't always end up as a couple, and that she would even prefer her grandson to marry a woman from the village than another one from who knows where who surely lived a very risky life.
The white dragon lived his entire adolescence in fear and discomfort, feeling trapped and cornered. During the day he tried to act like the brave, kind, and leadership-minded young man he learned to be, repressing the sudden pain of some incidents his soulmate surely suffered; but at night his whole facade disappeared, he collapsed wearily on his bed wondering if something would ever change. He could no longer drag out his attempts of refusing marriage, and his excuses for spending his time away from girls were running out.
In his twenties his life took an unexpected turn. The much acclaimed King Hiryuu in the body of a young girl of barely sixteen had arrived asking for his help, a request he accepted without a second thought, thus embarking on his journey, away from his village which he loved so much, but who left him with several traumas.
His new companions were good people, as he eventually realized. At first he had some trouble with Hak, who at the slightest opportunity bothered him. Yoon on the other hand seemed to be the most wise of the four of them, always being one step ahead, ready with a solution for any inconvenience that came their way. And finally there was Yona, with whom he felt a strong bond and a constant need to protect her. In spite of everything she strived daily to improve, that's why he admired her so much.
…
Seeing everyone contribute and give their best made him realize that he had yet to grow as a person. Kija truly wished he could be of more use, but he could only contribute with his brute strength in fighting the bandits that sometimes attacked them and his help carrying most of the group's baggage.
Shortly thereafter, Seiryuu joined them. Fortunately he was a nice and quiet young man who did not present any problems towards the others, he had enough with Hak who did not stop with his sarcastic comments and jokes always directed towards him.
Being there with another dragon, Kija suddenly did not feel so lonely anymore. He had known him for days but to him, he was already his little brother, and he truly appreciated the time they spent together.
The journey continued until they came to a stop at Awa. There he could feel the presence of the green dragon and something else. He didn't know what it was, but his heart felt stirred. Restless. As if his subconscious knew he had something important to do but his brain simply couldn't connect the dots. Not coming up with a logical explanation for his restlessness he decided to attribute it to his bond with the dragons.
He had been wandering around the place alone until someone fell from the sky (or the ceiling) and trapped himself in a jar. After the sudden shock, the world for Kija seemed to come to a complete halt before the person who was whining in front of him. His heart pounded and he felt an attraction he had never experienced before.
It was a man of great attractiveness, tall, with long green hair pulled back in a low ponytail and appeared to be older than he was. He immediately knew it was the green dragon, but he didn't know to what to attribute the inexplicable urge and desire to close the distance between them.
Deciding to ignore his pounding heart he grabbed the man as he could and took him with him to the princess, which did not seem to be to the contrary's liking, for as soon as he explained the situation and told him how hard they had been looking for him, he freed himself from the jar and walked in front of him, ready to leave after having said some somewhat hurtful words that fell like a bucket of cold water, leaving him thinking about them even days after that encounter.
Eventually the green dragon joined the group, claiming that his desire was to accompany Yona to help and protect her, since she had proven herself worthy of being followed. Despite his peculiar personality, he proved to be someone careful and serious when the situation merited it. Always watching the back of others, being especially overprotective of Yona and Yoon as he should. However, the white dragon didn't expect to receive that same kind of attention and care coming from him. Even if Jae-Ha claimed that he wouldn't bother saving anyone other than the two youngest in the group, the truth was that he treated Kija with the utmost care, always looking out for him and noticing immediately when he was unwell. Maybe it was because of the dragon blood, or maybe it was a voice inside him telling him that the least he could do for the younger one was to treat him well after being somewhat rude and taking out his hatred for the blissful dragon prophecy on him.
The journey proceeded without much mishap for The Happy Hungry Bunch. The groups of bandits they used to face weren't a big deal. They were all defeated without much difficulty until they gradually gained fame being known as bandits who mainly attacked corrupted soldiers and other awful criminals.
...
One day of rest they ended up in a hot spring. The group sighed with contentment knowing that they would finally be sleeping in a more comfortable place and would be able to clean up properly.
Later that day, they all went to the dressing room to change, except for Kija who seemed a little bit worried about something, which awoke Jae-Ha's curiosity who took the trouble to investigate what was going on with the youngest one, feeling surprised and concerned when he noticed four stripes on the other’s back.
With a blank mind he covered back the white haired man, not even daring to ask when he got such wounds.
Suddenly a memory flashed through his mind: him being just a child, writhing on the ground because his back hurt like hell only to discover that nothing had actually happened to him. That was his first shared experience with his soulmate, or at least the first one he remembers experiencing.
Before his mind wandered any further, he decided to forget about the soulmates thing for the moment and better concentrate on protecting Kija's integrity. Whatever was the reason for those scars, the background was surely something delicate that the other most likely did not wish to bring up for discussion.
Besides, anyone could hurt his back due to some accident, and he personally no longer remembers what kind of pain he felt to be able to discern whether it was perhaps some kind of stabbing weapon, an animal's claws, or even a burn.
Eventually the younger boy told Jae-Ha about his past. Now he could finally see Kija in a new light. He was no longer just the privileged dragon born in a cradle of gold, but also a victim, someone who grew up without a father figure just like him, raised by an elderly woman just like him, longing to live his own way without the need to meet the expectations of the others and furthermore, bound to his own chains, carrying with him the will of many generations of Hakuryuus. Someone who with determination accepted his role in his village as the major symbol and one of its leaders.
Gradually that slight dislike he felt for the Hakuryuu turned into admiration and perhaps a bit of longing. How could someone so young, innocent and inexperienced be so strong and reliable? Kija suddenly became the most worthy and admirable person to him, when he least realized they had become an inseparable duo. Yes, the others mattered too much to him. They were his family, but the bond he felt he had with Kija was something unique and unrepeatable. Kija was not only his family and home, but he was also precious to him, someone he would want to spend the rest of his life with, whose presence was becoming more and more essential.
oh...
Finally realizing that the younger one probably shared such a powerful bond with him, all that he could feel was resignation. He wasn't even angry or even surprised by the discovery. At this point in his life it would even be odd if the white dragon wasn't his soulmate. It amazed him how not only dragon blood united them, but the universe as well, and he couldn't have been more pleased to realize what kind of person he ended up having that bond with.
It wasn't until the day they set foot in the land of Xing that the two had no choice but to talk about their intertwined fates in a cell sitting next to each other after being brutally beaten by Yotaka, one of Xing's five stars. The first to talk about the elephant in the room was Kija.
“You felt it too, didn't you? The hit I took for you. Because I felt the one you took first," admitted the albino somewhat crestfallen or insecure, at least that's how the older man perceived it when he turned to look at him, “Ah, it's not that I infer that just because of that you will want to stay by my side forever, in fact I don't expect it. I don't want you to feel obligated to anything, take it more as a connection of perpetual friendship. You can always count on me Jae-Ha, you know that," he added with a calmer tone, leaning his head, throbbing with pain, on the other's shoulder. How is it that someone in this kind of situation can still emanate such a level of elegance and sublimity?
“What if I told you that the idea of spending the rest of our lives together doesn't displease me at all?”
Such a statement said by Jae-Ha, the man who appreciates freedom the most in this world, with all the assurance in the world, caused a slight shade of carmine to decorate Kija's porcelain face as he looked at him with surprise in his eyes, as if he didn't believe what he is hearing. No doubt it was a statement made very quickly, as if the green haired man had come to the conclusion in advance....
“Wait, you had already noticed our bond?” he questioned somewhat surprised.
“Well, I had my suspicions. Very great suspicions," he commented in a cheerful voice, "When I was a boy I suffered a horrible pain in my back and only got whitish marks for almost a day until they disappeared completely without a trace.”
Realization struck the other's features. The shorter one looked up observing the one who was telling like it was nothing about one of the most terrible pains he had probably ever suffered. Suddenly the guilt came over him completely even if he wasn't to blame at all.
“Hey, it's okay. It's alright," he tried to soothe the younger boy by tenderly cradling his cheek, ignoring the pain of just lifting his arm. “I couldn't test my theory until today, and while I may not have intended to meet my soulmate in the past, now I couldn't be happier that it turns out to be you.”
“I'm sorry," he murmured, averting his eyes dejectedly.
“For what?” he questioned in surprise at his companion's depressed reaction.
“I knew you were my destined person from the beginning," he confessed, evading the other's surprised gaze. Then he continued, "As soon as you fell into that jar I felt the pain of the fall. Then I felt every time Hak or someone else hit you. Since I didn't get hurt that often, I was able to keep this fact a secret. I am truly sorry for not confessing it earlier, but at that time I knew that my presence was probably not to your total liking. Then as our friendship blossomed it became increasingly difficult for me to confess the truth to you. The last thing I wanted was to make you uncomfortable or to tie you down. If you found happiness in freedom, then I would support you. I suppose it's impossible to keep a secret forever, and I simply couldn't let that first attack take you by surprise. My body moved on its own, but most importantly, more than my soul mate, my desire was to keep you safe, Jae-Ha. You are very precious to me," he explained in whispers so as not to wake the others.
It is not possible to say exactly at what point Jae-Ha got so close to him, but after looking into each other's eyes for a few seconds and catching the mutual consent along with their body language, the two slowly moved closer until they nullified the little distance that separated their lips.
Every movement was painful and the kiss could not have been more uncomfortable. They were in the cell with Shin-Ah, Zeno and Yoon who were still lying asleep thanks to the accumulated fatigue; they were also in enemy territory no less and they still haven’t had the chance to clean themselves properly. They smelled of dirt, sweat and blood. The metallic taste of the reddish liquid predominated in the kiss, and the moans they let out were more from the pain than from the excitement of the moment, but the moment when they sealed their fate could not have been more perfect and meaningful.
...
“Honey, if you don't get up now we'll be late and we'll end up arriving at your village even in the afternoon. You know your grandmother hates it when we arrive after noon,” announced a voice that ended up waking up Kija who was sleeping peacefully.
Slowly he opened one eye followed by the other, he half sat up making the blanket that covered him fall down revealing his state of nudity in which he had become accustomed to sleep, since the warmth transmitted by the large body of his partner while he hugged him was more than enough for him.
And speaking of his partner, he was waiting for him already dressed, extending him a change of clothes which he gratefully took.
Since they started living together in a house they started going to visit at least twice a year to the Hakuryuu village, where the youngest's grandmother was waiting for them with open arms and a feast.
Four years had passed since their relationship began. All their loved ones accepted them and wished them a happy life, some quicker than others, the albino's grandmother being somewhat more reluctant to the idea that her beloved grandson had fallen in love with a man. Nevertheless she ended up giving them her blessing, she knew there was nothing she could do about it when Kija looked so lovingly at Jae-Ha and the feeling was reciprocated.
Having made them promise to visit the village whenever they could, she showered them with gifts and items for their new home before they left.
Now the three were quietly enjoying the meal the eldest prepared when suddenly:
“And when are you getting married? Because if I find out you already are and I didn't hear about it I swear that when I die I will appear in all your dreams," blurted out suddenly the elderly woman quietly watching her grandson and his partner choking on their food, definitely not expecting to be asked something like that.
“N-no granny, we're not married yet.”
“But we'll soon change that," replied the green-haired one smiling contemplatively at his boyfriend.
...
“So?” questioned the older man the morning after returning home. The two lay with their legs intertwined and with only a blanket covering their naked bodies. Kija removed his face from between her lover's pecs looking at him doubtfully.
“When do we get married?,” he insisted, moving his hand to run it through the whitish strands of his beloved, untangling the knots he always woke up with.
“Will you really bring the subject up for discussion when we are like this?,” he asked, arching an eyebrow, burying his flushed face again between Jae-Ha's chest which he usually used as a pillow.
“I can feel your heartbeat, dear.”
“Oh, shut up... And you know my answer would be yes.”