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Marinette landed heavily into her apartment and dropped the transformation as she collapsed onto her bed. The woman was not sure how she made it home; the race across the Gotham rooftops was a blur of motion and memories. She knew that Gotham has some strange rogues but she had no idea how traumatic and PTSD-inducing having a run-in with a man in a pig mask could be.
The fight had been horrible as the 10 people he had managed to turn into his obedient little “Dollotrons” were sent to fight against them once they had finally found the elusive madman. The way that the surgically modified humans came against them reminded her starkly of one the few worst minion fights in Paris. The Akuma, Dollmaker, had been a devastated young man who had been dismissed from his apprenticeship with one of the best ceramic doll makers in Paris due to his tendency to add grisly details to the dolls he made.
Marinette could not remember all of the fight against the Dollotrons as their artificial faces had kept flashing to the horribly cracked doll faces of the Dollmaker's minions instead. The heroine did remember being the one to find Dr. Pyg first. She had launched herself with a feral cry and no care for the butcher knife in his hands. Red Robin had been the one to find them and pull her screaming and kicking from the unconscious, bruised, and bloody body of the villain. He had managed to calm her down from her need to destroy the Akuma… which is when the panic hit harder as she recognized she was dissociating and having flashbacks.
Ripping herself away from her friend and boyfriend she had fled and hoped he would not follow her. Even as she knew she needed his calm and collected reason to help her through this.
The noirette curled up into a tighter ball even as her breathing sped up and the memories from both fights swirled and blurred within her mind. Tears fell in rivulets down her face to soak her cherry blossom comforter even as she pleaded with her mind to stop muttering a constant stream of pleas.
“It's over, it's over. Please no more I don't want to see anymore. I’m not that person, I can't, please…”
“Marinette?”
The woman heard her voice distantly through the screams and visions in her head. She recognized the voice but still kicked out when a hand tentatively touched her shoulder. The person rolled with the kick and came up warily across the room from her. Blinking her blue eyes she forced herself to focus on what was really before her. Tikki and Plagg cuddled into her neck then vibrating and purring and helping to ground her as they had too many times before after horrible Akuma attacks.
She took in the red and black outfit on the man, noticing the yellow harness over his shoulder and ending in an X on his chest and a black symbol in the middle that finally registered. Red Robin’s logo, a bird head, or a weird cowl as she had teased him before. Her relaxation at recognizing the intruder quickly fled as she realized she had kicked him.
Marinette scrambled off the bed to him, ignoring how he tensed unsure if she had recognized him or not until the rambling apology began. Tim pulled his mask and gloves off as she fretted over him with a fond if concerned smile. Gently and slowly he reached out and caught her by the shoulder with one hand, his other hand reaching up and cupping her face to nudge her face up to look at him.
“Mare, Bug, Hey I'm fine, see no damage done I should have been more careful. I could see you were in the middle of a panic attack and I know better than to approach you before you acknowledge me. I’m just worried about you. You really did a number on that monster, granted there would be no tears shed if you had killed him,” Marinette stiffened and a sob escaped at the reminder of her brutality only an hour prior….or at least it only felt like an hour ago. Tim was quick to pull her into a hug and continue. “But you didn’t and he will have some pain and hospital time to remind him what happens when you hurt people in Gotham with Ladybird on the prowl.”
Tim’s concern doubled when his attempt at lightening the mood a bit flopped and the woman he loved buried herself into his chest and shook with sobs and apologies. He carefully picked her up and brought them to her bed where he leaned against the wall. Marinette promptly curled up on his lap and sobbed into his shoulder as he stroked her head and murmured soothing words into her hair.
Eventually, the tears stopped and he was faced with a new problem as Marinette hiccupped from the severity of her previous sobs but otherwise showed no sign of awareness. Dull blue eyes stared unseeing at the wall to his right as her breathing steadied out. If he couldn't see her open eyes he might have thought she had fallen asleep with how limp her body was against him.
“Marinette, talk to me, Mare? you need to get out of your head a bit.”
She didn't answer right away or show any signs of answering until he shifted to see her face better.
“I’m fine, It's all over now, there's no need to worry.” Not only were her words a red flag, but the dull way they fell from her lips clued him in as well.
“Come on Mare, I need you to breathe with me. In, two, three. Out, two, three.”
He saw some life return to her as they breathed and she followed his directions. Once the color returned to her a bit he urged her up and to the bathroom to splash some cold water on her face while he made some tea for them. He knew she usually preferred coffee like him but after all the emotional drain and how late it was even he knew how bad an idea coffee would be.
When Marinette shuffled out into the living room her hair was damp and her whole body screamed exhaustion. She gave him a small smile when he handed her the lavender chamomile tea. He sighed silently in relief to see she had gotten through the worst of it for now.
“You don’t have to stay. Really, I’m fine.”
“But I love you, why would I leave when you are obviously hurting?”
“You shouldn’t love me. I’m not worth it. You deserve better. You can do better!”
Marinette curled in on herself at that, trying to hide the tears that were prickling at her eyes again and the cracking of her voice as she tried to convince one of the people she loves most to leave her. Even if she did not truly wish him to leave at all, she was merely confused and hurting and her world seemed too dark and painful to ask him to step into it. She didn't want to hurt him even as she felt herself dying inside.
She felt his hand on her shoulder, his touch tentative, as if asking her permission to come closer, to be allowed to comfort her. Her brain whirled and thought but it was too conflicted and ashamed to tell if she really wanted or deserved even such simple comforts as a hug.
“You can not ask me to stop loving you, Mare. I could not possibly do better than the amazing woman before me. You are not broken Marinette, though you may feel like it. You do not need to be fixed, But I wish you would let me help you. Let me shoulder at least some of the burden and sorrow. Talk to me please, do not let your mind become an echo chamber of hate alone. Let me help remind you of all the good within you. Of all the good you have and still do every day.”
Tim waited for Marinette to accept his help. You would think waiting would be easier for a vigilante, but helping someone you loved was way harder to wait for. He knew that no matter how true or loving or right his reasons and words were, they would be like seeds on the rocky ground left to dry out and wither if she was not ready and willing to hear them.
He hated to see his love so hurt.
He understood how easy it could be to let your mind tear every little mistake apart to criticize yourself, mercilessly. Flaws quickly turn into massive canyons that feel like no one could possibly cross to get to you. That they couldn’t possibly love you enough to make the hard journey through the thorns of your self-deprecation. The drought of inspiration. Lost to depression. To the deep places where the light rarely shines, for if there is no light then no one, not even yourself, can see all the cracks and breaks that you feel are obviously there.
Tim has been in a similar place before after all. He had snapped after his parents had died. He had felt as if no one could possibly help or reach him as threw himself in Robin and cold cases with no regard for his health and safety. Alfred had reached out to him then. His adoptive grandfather had pulled him out as much as he could and insisted on him getting help. Then he met Marinette and she had wormed her way into his heart so fully he couldn't imagine life without her. She had stayed through his regressing into recklessness and depression, constantly uplifting him and making sure he took care of himself.
He only wished he could be the sun for Marinette as Alfred had been for him. As Marinette had always been for him since he had met her.
The teacup clinked softly as Marinette set it gently on the wooden coffee table that sat before the charcoal sofa that they sat on. He watched as she took a deep breath before turning slowly toward him, almost hesitant in her movements, her shoulders still hunched and as she looked up at him, Tim saw she was chewing her lip nervously. He sat patiently as she visibly fought with herself, a soft encouraging smile on his lips.
“I…I really don’t deserve such an amazing boyfriend.” She whispered thickly to him slowly reaching out and cupping his face with her hand. “I was just as much a monster tonight and yet here you are telling me how amazing I am and how good I still am and I just…How can I possibly accept that knowing how brutal I can be?”
“Mare, It is human nature to lash out at people who hurt others. As I mentioned earlier, stopping that man from continuing to hurt people, no matter how brutally, does not change all the good you do and are. I do not see a monster when I look at you. I see a protector and hero.” Tim responded softly to her most likely rhetorical question.
“It will take time but I will continue to do my best to show you the woman I see when I look at you. To tell you all the good I see when I look at you and all you do. You stuck by me and helped me out of my slump. I will stop and nothing less for you my Dearest.”
Marinette was crying again but there was awe on her face as she leaned up and pulled him into a wet but loving kiss. When she pulled back and smiled at him through the tears he knew that they would make it through this.
“I love you, Tim, Mon Amor, I love you more than life itself.”
It would not be easy and it would not be quick, but together they could overcome all of their insecurities and fears. They both smiled as they were swarmed with little kwami bodies and declarations of love and snuggles. Tim leaned in, ignoring the protest of the kwami that had settled in his hair to rest his forehead on hers and gave her the most loving smile she had ever seen from him.
“I love you too, my dearest Marinette, forever and always.”