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Build-A-Boyfriend

Summary:

Jason Todd isn’t like most people. He never had what one would call a “typical” childhood.

Growing up in Crime Alley, being adopted by a billionaire, and starting an illustrious career in ass kicking at the age of 15 will do that to anyone. There were simply more important things than being a kid.

Sure, he missed a few milestones here and there because he died due to said vigilantism, but he thinks he turned out just fine.

His siblings beg to differ.

Dick decides one day it’s about time Jason finally indulges in one of those milestones later in life. Cue shenanigans, puns, and a guy on staff so adorable it triggers Jason’s fight or flight response.

OR

Jason tries not to have a heart attack in a Build-A-Bear. Multiple times.

Notes:

Hi!!

I originally planned for this to be a oneshot but, as I am quickly learning about myself, the plot and writing got away from me and took on a mind of its own. I mainly wrote this as a pallet cleanser from the angst of my main WIP, Self Doubt. Feel free to check that one out though!!

Here's a drinking challenge for y'all though: take a shot of water for every pun and use of wordplay you find. Not all are italicized wink wink.

I hope y'all enjoy this (mostly crack) fluff fic!!

Yet another huge shout out and thanks to my amazing beta reader and bestie Sideofhayfries!!! <3

(See the end of the work for more notes and other works inspired by this one.)

Chapter 1: The Deathtrap that is Experiential Consumerism

Chapter Text

This was ridiculous.

Jason felt like a fucking joke standing in this plushy, sterile-looking, store. He easily stood at least a foot over everyone else in the vicinity, especially the two little kids trying to play tag while they ran in circles around his legs, giggling as they screamed at each other. It was both endearing and pulling the very stitches of Jason’s last bit of sanity apart.

Quite frankly, Jason did not have the mental capacity for this today. Or ever.

Sure, he loved kids, but this is pushing his limit today. The only kids who never seem too scared of him reside solely in Crime Alley, so he’s really out of his depth here at the Gotham City Mall with so many kids not even batting an eye at his hulking figure or the litany of scars marring his face and exposed arms.

The unbalance between the brooding gray haze that seemed to follow him wherever he went and the blinding glow of those around him who seemed more in their element here left him feeling unsure and nervous.

However, absolutely nothing could have prepared him mentally for the horrifyingly dead stares of the empty bear skins lining the front wall or the three kids battling each other with resolute ferocity for the last pink bunny rabbit. That sight will haunt him for the rest of his life.

And right above their heads loomed the very reason for this mortifying endeavor his brothers managed to force upon him. The final executioner of his entire reputation as a badass. A sign spreading across the length of the wall, a giant teddy bear holding a fake birth certificate.

2 for $25!

Its lifeless eyes mocked him with their false mirth.

Jason closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh as the beginnings of acceptance sunk in. Any hope he’d previously had of finding a sliver of tranquility was shattered as an energetic child’s screeching echoed throughout the store, causing him to immediately pinch between his brows in hopes of soothing his creeping migraine.

This superfluous experience was killing every last brain cell in his head. At least, the ones that had somehow survived the unprecedented amount of concussions throughout his lifetime.

How’d he even get here in the first place?

“Look Jason! They have a Pikachu!”

Oh, that’s right. Dick Grayson and his fu-stupid scheming.

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Dick threw the colorful flier down next to Jason’s laptop where he sat at the island bar in the manor’s kitchen.

“Watch it,” Jason growled, taking a hefty gulp of his rapidly cooling black coffee in anticipation of the oncoming headache this interaction was sure to induce. Taking notice of Dicks grin, he was only further convinced of this fact.

Jason eyed him suspiciously then lowered his scathing gaze to scan the Build-A-Bear flier addressed to Dick notifying him of this month's sale. Why is Dick even on their mailing list in the first place?

He looked back at Dick’s expectant eyes and it finally clicked.

“No,” Jason said. He made sure to turn his entire body away from the grinning man and back to his virtual files in an attempt to shut this down before it could escalate into something he knew he’d regret.

He almost thought he’d been successful when a stack of fake paper bills were dropped neatly onto his keyboard. Each piece of paper written in Dick’s own shitty handwriting, complete with a terribly photoshopped image of his head with a top hat and monocle.

Dick Grayson Bucks: Good for one free coffee run! Anytime, anywhere!

Jason ran his fingers across the top, fanning the bills into a wave. “How many are here?”

“A hundred.”

Jason hummed while tapping his finger on the counter in thought, face unreadable. He sucked his teeth and glared as he moved his gaze back to the bear flier as if it insulted his haircut. “Yeah, no.” Jason tossed the bills back at Dick who scrambled to catch them as they flitted through the air.

“Why not?” He whined. “Look at the little monocle, how can you say no to that!”

“Because one, it’ll only last me ten days, and two, because I’m not about to go into some kids store at the mall Dick. I mean, look at me.” He raised his eyebrow as if daring Dick to contest his points.

Okay, so I guess we’re doing this. One, who are you, Tim? There is no way you’d be able to go through that many coffee runs in 10 days. Two, I think you just look like a giant grizzly bear. You’ll technically fit right in.” Dick countered, basking in the smug expression emblazoned upon his face.

Jason surprised even himself with how his frown was able to grow deeper than before. He was definitely starting to feel that headache now.

“Common Jason, please! I wanna take Damian, but he’s less likely to agree to go if it’s just me asking.” Dick began pleading as he dropped the few Dick Grayson Bucks he’d been able to catch in favor of clasping his hands together in a pleading display.

“Why the hell would you want to drag Demon Spawn to a place with defenseless targets?” Jason questioned, surprised by the turn this conversation had suddenly taken.

“Because Damian needs to experience this illustrious milestone that any child would enjoy!” Dick continued to plead his case as stars shone brightly in his eyes.

Yeah right. Every kid except Damian. The kid had been with them at the manor for two years now, and while he had mellowed out a bit since then, he still was far from being considered a ‘typical’ child.

“Tell you what,” Jason placated, sighing heavily. “If you somehow manage to get the brat to agree to go with you, I might consider your offer.”

In a successful attempt to avoid continuing this conversation any further he closed his laptop and pushed past Dick on his immovable trajectory out of the kitchen. He practically flew out of the kitchen and up the stairs towards his guest room to hide until dinner.

Maybe he shouldn’t have risked coming to the manor today after all. Alfred’s pesto chicken was good, but not good enough if this was what he had to deal with in exchange.

⧫⇍─────────⇜⥈⧫⥈⇝─────────⇏⧫

A week later, Jason decided to risk returning to the manor to take advantage of the state-of-the-art gym. It was his attempt to make up for the last couple of days he’d been slacking on his usual regimen due to a dragging case of smuggled weapons in the Alley he never approved of.

He didn’t even make it to the gym doors before he stopped. Dick was chasing Damain out of the training room in an attempt to corner him further in the hallway.

“No. It is a frivolous experience of consumerism.” Damian huffed, crossing his arms in an obvious attempt to not reach for a weapon he likely had concealed on his person.

“It is the goddamn back bone of one’s childhood and we need to start getting you gifts that aren’t weapons for once.” Dick said as he stopped to gasp for air in front of Damian. “Even Jason’s going!” He gestured wildly to where Jason was currently leaning against the wall observing this trainwreck, causing Damian to look in his direction with his brow slightly raised.

“Nope.” Jason replied, popping the P. “Besides, I could easily weaponize a Build-A-Bear.” He smirked.

“We’re done here.” Damian bit out through his obvious annoyance at the situation. He brushed past Dick, not dissimilar to Jason only a week prior, and made his way down the hall. As he passed Jason, he offered a simple nod of recognition, which was as close to a ‘thank you’ as he would probably ever receive from the kid.

“Dang it! I was this close!” Dick whined before hanging his head and moving to make his way down the hallway as well.

⧫⇍─────────⇜⥈⧫⥈⇝─────────⇏⧫

As the days dragged on, Dick got more and more desperate. Every failed attempt at convincing both Damian and Jason had led them here, to Dick standing on the other side of Jason’s locked apartment door as he pleaded through the crack in the frame.

“A month of free coffee.” Dick tried, voice pinching.

The continued silence from the other side of the door stretched out until it was borderline pitiful.

“Two months?” He tried again.

Jason wanted so badly for Dick to just drop it. He’d already set a boundary and turned down the invitation repeatedly. At this point it was starting to make him feel guilty having to continue to hold out on Dick. He just didn’t see the appeal in the whole thing and figured all it would do is end in tears for someone if he did actually agree.

He was hiding on the floor of his kitchen next to the door with his head resting in his hands as he steeled himself against the pleading man in the hallway. Honestly, at this point he has no idea why he was even so adamant about not going. Like yeah, he had a somewhat bad feeling about the whole thing, but if it made Dick happy, shouldn’t he be willing to risk it?

It was quiet for so long, Jason actually thought Dick had relented and left him to wallow in his guilt.

That was until Dick breathed out “A year.” barely above a whisper.

Jason sighed, lifting his head from his hands to look up at the kitchen’s ceiling light. Dick really wanted this that badly? He was really willing to spend that much money and time just to get Jason to agree to one outing?

Just as he moved to stand from his place of shame on the floor, his ears picked up the smallest sniffle and hiccup from the other side of the door.

Dick was crying.

He had made Dick cry.

He practically flew to the door and, without warning, swung it open so fast he nearly smacked Dick in the face. Dick had apparently just been admitting defeat leaving, meaning there was at least a few feet between him and the doorway.

What really made him feel like a horrible brother though was when Dick looked up. His cheeks were flushed red and his eyes were puffy like he’d been crying for a lot longer than Jason had initially thought.

“I’m sorry.” Dick mumbled as he broke eye contact to turn his body back towards the way he’d been headed. “Clearly this just isn’t something you want to do. I won’t bug you about it anymore.” He finished as he began moving down the hall once more.

“Wait!” Jason whisper-shouted down the hall before Dick could get any closer to the elevators. The last thing Jason wanted was an audience from any of his neighbors.

“Why does this mean so much to you?” He questioned the older man as he analyzed the slight flinch and flex of the Dick’s shoulder blades as his question settled anxiously in his mind.

“Because I thought this could be a chance to make up for some lost time I never got to spend with you before…well….before.” Dick breathed as his shoulders finally settled back down into a posture of defeat.

Oh. Jason definitely hadn’t been expecting that.

Interpreting his silence as a bad thing, Dick turned around with a nervous look and began rambling in an attempt to appease Jason in his misinterpretation of the situation.

“Since I never got to take you when you were younger and I also haven’t taken Damian yet, I figured this would be a good bonding exercise for the three of us and we could still have the experience. But I never wanted to upset you or push you further away. It’s nowhere near worth losing you as a brother, Jason.” Dick pleaded as his nose scrunched up with the promise of more tears just brimming the edges of his waterline.

Dick’s puppy dog eyes shouldn’t be anywhere near as effective as they are. And yet, despite Dick continuing to age like any typical human being, those Golden Boy eyes have yet to even begin losing their power over those in the bat brood.

“I’ll go.” Jason rushed in an attempt to prevent said tears from escaping Dick’s eyes. “If it means that much to you Dickhead, I’ll do it. Now come here.” He finished softly as he moved his arms out in an inviting gesture.

Dick hesitated for all of two seconds before crashing into Jason’s arms in a bone crushing hug. If anyone ever asked if Jason tightened his hold on his brother more after that, he’d deny it until the day of his second death. While Jason may claim to be a heartless badass, he is a fucking liar.

“Come on,” Jason huffed out as he pulled away from his brother’s warm embrace to close and lock his apartment door. He grabbed Dick’s forearm and led him towards the elevators at the end of the hall.

“Where are we going?” Dick asked, confusion evident on his face.

“Coffee. Your one year starts now,” Jason replied smugly as the elevator dings, signaling its arrival.

Dick groaned dramatically as he was dragged into the metal box and towards his financial doom.

“Cheer up Dick, It’s Build-A-Bear!” Jason laughed warmly while clapping him on the back.

⧫⇍─────────⇜⥈⧫⥈⇝─────────⇏⧫

And that’s how they ended up here. Looking at a wall of empty bear skins. How anyone could find this enjoyable, Jason would never know.

Damian was currently standing off to the side with his phone out in front of him as he aimed an icy glare at whatever was present on the screen.

“How the fuck did Dick manage to rope you into this too?” Jason asked as he approached the short icicle of a brother.

Instead of giving a verbal answer, Damian simply looked up from his phone’s screen and into the distance. A subtle shiver and glassed over eyes were his only response to the question. Jason could only assume Dick’s method had to include some sort of blood sacrifice.

“Welcome! Who are we shopping for today?” A grating voice asked from behind the group of brothers. Swinging around, they discover a young woman in a blue apron and white turtleneck. The size of the smile on her face made Jason shudder. And not in a good way. Normal people don’t smile like that here in Gotham.

“It’s their first time here!” Dick responded with glee as he gestured to Jason and Damian. Great, now there’s two of them.

“Perfect! Would you like some stickers?” She asked with great eagerness to accommodate.

“Yes!” Dick exclaimed before either younger brother could even form a rebuttal.

The girl hurried off and returned as if supported by the Speed Force itself with a couple large round stickers and a teal Sharpie. “Please feel free to let me know if you have any questions as you look around!” She informed them while handwriting ‘First Time Visit’ on the stickers. She handed one to Damian and one to Jason before heading off to the young couple that just walked in behind them.

Damian glared at his in disgust as if it spit on his entire bloodline. Okay, maybe Jason could have a little fun with this. Or maybe he was becoming just as crazy as Dick.

Speaking of, Dick clasped a hand on his shoulder while reaching for the sticker in his hands. Peeling the sticker off its backing and slapping it across Jason’s chest, he stated “Cheer up Jason, It’s–”

“I will burn everything you own.” Jason cut him off before Dick could even think of using his own words against him.

“Alrighty then!” Dick peeled his hands off his chest and shoulder while keeping his chipper attitude proudly displayed.

Taking a deep breath and rubbing a hand down the front of his face, Jason startled as he heard a gasp from over his left shoulder, interrupting the recouping time he desperately thought he deserved after that entire interaction. Looking over, he sees Dick giving star eyes to a Nightwing themed bear.

Huh, wonder if they have-

And there, a couple cubbies down in all its glory, was a Red Hood themed bear. The bear’s body was red with his signature jacket and bat insignia sewn onto its chest. What the fuck? Jason definitely wasn’t getting any royalties from this.

“Tt. That looks ridiculous.” Damian teased once he noticed the focus of Jason’s attention. Jason sneered back at him as he dropped the empty bear skin back into its cubby.

“Says the kid who likes red, yellow, and green color schemes.” he quipped back, proudly earning a little growl from the young boy.

Damian may have used the last two years to begin slowly mellowing out more and more during his time with the Waynes, but that wasn’t going to stop Jason from milking this experience for every ounce of joy he could get from it.

Dick came bouncing over with his chosen Nightwing bear as he encouraged Damian to make his decision. Damian looked around for another couple seconds before begrudgingly making his way to the girl from before.

“Excuse me. Where are your Robin bears?” He asked impatiently as she finished helping the young couple.

“Hello again!” She cooed, bending down to his height. “I’m so sorry, but we don’t have Robin bears. We do have Robin costumes though, so you can pick any bear and dress it like Robin!” She informed with an oblivious smile.

Examining the Demon Spawn’s reaction, Jason would almost think he was disappointed. Whatever traces of emotion the kid had accidentally let slip through the cracks disappeared quickly however as Damian dismissed the employee with a “Tt” while walking back over to the bear wall. Sighing as if the choice would kill him, he reached down and picked up a basic brown bear.

“Is your group all set to stuff your furry friends?” A new voice rang clear from behind them. Between the three brothers, there wasn’t a single matching reaction to the new employee approaching them.

Dick’s face lit up with great excitement at the prospect of the next step in the process.

Damian looked horrified at the idea of having to further interact with another human being during this embarrassing situation.

Jason was blushing.

Holy shit this guy was cute.

Standing before the three brothers was a slim, 5’5”, young man with fluffy black hair and piercing blue eyes. He was wearing a short-sleeve collared white shirt with the same blue apron as the previous employee.

“Wait, Jason, where's your bear?” Dick asked after looking over to confirm he and Damian had made a choice.

“Oh hell no. That was not part of the agreement.” Jason blanched, taking in Dick’s growing puppy dog eyes. There was no fucking way Dick could make him go through with this.

After about 30 seconds of awkwardly standing there while Dick pleaded silently in front of this absolutely gorgeous employee, as if Jason was the petulant child of the group, he finally broke with an exasperated “Fine!” as he moved back to grab whatever the fuck was in the nearest bin. It looked to be a red fuzzy duck. Terrific.

“All set now?” The employee asked, the barest impression of a smirk at the corner of his lips. Oh, so he thought this was funny? Jason would make it his personal mission to become the most difficult customer of this cute man’s day.

Dick wasted no time before nodding his head eagerly, signaling to the employee they are ready. The employee began leading them over to the sound station next to the stuffing machine. “Did you want to add any sounds into your bears?” He asked, pulling up a nightwing catchphrase sound before waiting for an answer.

Dick looked like he was buzzing with excitement. Literally. Jason is ready to be done now.

Except…

He just stands there watching the employee as he helped his brothers pick out corresponding hero-themed sounds and download them onto their chips. Jason quickly abandoned his initial goal in favor of savoring every second he could get of seeing the smile on the man’s face grow as he helped Dick and Damian at the station.

He began raking his gaze down the man’s neck, fully appreciating the curves of his shoulders and unexpected biceps. Finally looking down towards the employee’s name tag, Jason took note of the name Danny with a paw print at the end of his name.

“Jason?”

Shit, he must have completely zoned out while blatantly checking out the beautiful man before him. Wait, double shit. Said beautiful man, now known as Danny, was the one to have called out his name.

“I asked if you’d like to add a sound into your duck?” Danny asked him again.

“Yeah, I don’t think so.” He managed to grit out from behind his fist as he cleared his throat, embarrassed at having definitely been caught staring.

“No worries. If you’ll all bear with me, we’ll go ahead and get started!” He smiled with all teeth. Fuck, he’s hot. Jason may not survive the day afterall.

Wait…was that a bear pun? No, surely Jason just mishead. There’s no way this Adonis would stoop so low as to be making bear puns while working at a Build-A-Bear…right?

Danny led Jason and the other two over to his stuffing station. Sitting down and turning the machine switch on, he reached up toward them for the first empty bear. Dick gave Damian a nudge to go first as Damian shrugged off the physical contact.

Damian rolled his eyes and approached Danny’s chair while handing over his brown bear. Danny looked at the sticker on his chest that Dick made him put on and his smile turned a little mischievous.

“Alrighty. And what’s your name kiddo?” He asked innocently. Damian mumbled his answer as Danny moved to write his name on the bear’s tag. He then lined the bear’s back up to the nozzle of the machine to prepare for the inevitable fluff.

“Would you like your bear soft, medium, or hard?” Danny asked, turning his attention back to Damian with a soft smile.

“Soft, please.” Damian answered, beginning to blush in embarrassment.

“Go ahead and step down as hard as you can on the pedal and I’ll let you know when to stop.” Danny smiled a bit brighter and began working the nozzle into each part of the bear to spread the fluff evenly throughout.

That’s when Jason began checking out again. The bear builder, Danny, had this look of pure focus as he worked. Jason felt his ears warm as he noticed the tip of Danny’s tongue stick out the side of his mouth at one point. It didn’t take long for his focus to be pulled to the freckles along the bridge of his nose and how they almost sparkled under the fluorescent overhead lighting of the store. Okay, Jason was ready to admit it. He was whipped.

“Jason?”

Dammit, he did it again!

“I’m sorry, what was the question?” He asked hoarsely. When did his throat get so dry?

“I asked, would you like it soft, medium, or hard?” Danny repeated with his hand held out for Jason’s chosen bear.

Gulping, Jason meekly asked “What?”

“Your duck. Would you like it soft, medium, or hard?” Danny repeated once more. There was now a smirk growing on his face causing the freckles on his nose to crinkle.

Looking over, Jason realized that he’d completely zoned out during the rest of Damian’s bear stuffing and the entirety of Dick’s.

“Um, soft I guess.” He finally answered after swallowing and taking a quick breath.

Danny’s smile returned in full force as Jason approached the pedal and started the process. Jason chose to keep his eyes on the bear this time to avoid getting distracted and accidentally over-inflating the dumb thing if he wasn’t listening.

Finally, Danny gave him the cue to release his pressure on the pedal. He removed the duck from the machine and held it out to Jason with the cutest little smile. “Go ahead and give it a big hug to make sure it feels just right!” He instructed Jason sweetly.

Reaching out to grab the bear, Jason absolutely did not fumble with it as he accidentally brushed his fingertips with Danny’s around the duck’s torso. No one could prove anything. He gave the duck the most half assed hug and grunted in confirmation at its filling.

Satisfied with the completely unhelpful response, Danny reached over next to him to put a small pile of plush hearts in his cupped hands. Holding the hearts out towards them, he said, “Go ahead and pick a heart for your furever friend!”

Wow. Maybe Jason hadn’t imagined it the first time afterall.

Dick reached out and grabbed a little plaid heart and Damian and Jason chose red ones.

“Okay, now this next step is beary important.” Danny smirked.

Third time’s the charm. Jason was unable to withhold the groan ignited by the gorgeous man’s lame idea of humor.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Is this unbearable for you? Perhaps we should put a paws on it then.” Danny gave Jason the most attractive cheshire grin he’d ever seen in his life. His heart and head were sending him mixed signals at this point and he was no longer live, laugh, loving.

Dick burst into laughter so loud Jason thought he might start crying. “No, please keep going.” He managed to gasp out between giggling spurts.

“As you wish!” Danny replied with a flourishing bow as he stood up from his seat. Jason didn’t think it could be possible, but Danny’s grin got even wider. Jason would even venture to say it almost didn’t seem human anymore. Were those tiny fangs?

“Go ahead and raise those hearts in the air! Give them a big shake to get them wide awake! And rub those hearts together in your hands so your bears will warm up to you. And rub them on your back so they’ll always have your back. And on your knees so they’ll always kneed you. Now on your toes so they’ll be toetally awesome. And finally on your rear so they’ll never leave you behind.”

Dick laughed the entire time while Damian and Jason followed the instructions to the absolute bear minimum.

“Now give your furry friend’s heart a kiss and put it inside your bear!” Danny finished with an innocent grin as if he hadn’t just subjected 2/3 vigilantes to the most humiliating two minutes of their lives.

Complying with the directions, each brother bearied their hearts within their bear’s fluff.

After a moment of self reflection and seeing the glimmer of joy in Danny’s eyes, Jason decided he would do literally anything for this man. Stupid heart ceremony included.

Danny began lacing up the backs of each bear, starting with Damian’s. After he finished with the first bear, he turned to point out the wall of computer monitors on the back wall and explained “If you wanna start making your bear’s birth certificate while you wait, the station is right behind us.”

Damian gave a curt thank you. Even though he did not entirely enjoy the experience, he wasn’t a heathen. Not wanting to stick around any longer, he followed Danny’s directions and made his way to the back wall. Dick soon followed after him as Danny finished with his bear as well.

Before Jason could mentally prepare himself for the inevitable, it was just Danny and Jason. Jason’s pulse was definitely not quickening at the realization.

“My name’s Danny by the way.” Danny mumbled as he fiddled with a knot in the lacing.

“I know.” Jason spoke without thinking, his full attention back on the tip of Danny’s tongue poking out the side of his mouth which seemed to be a common occurrence when he focused.

Danny’s eyes shot up from the knot and Jason rushed to clarify, realizing how creepy that had initially sounded. “It’s on your name tag.” He managed work out of his jumbled brain.

Danny’s eyes widened before he chuckled, lowering his gaze back to the stubborn knot. “Oh, right. Yeah.” Finishing the final knot and cutting off the extra string, Danny handed Jason his new red duck.

“I hope you have a beary good day Jason.” Danny winked as Jason stepped past him. Jason definitely did not let loose the smallest squeak to ever be uttered.

Jason sauntered over, ears tinted the lightest shade of pink, and joined Dick and Damian at the computer they were crowded around. “What’s wrong?” he asked, noticing the frowns on both the other two’s faces.

“This infernal system does not clarify if the information we are to enter is about ourselves or about the bear.” Damian seethes, the beginnings of murderous intent growing between his brows.

Jason looked at the questions and, oh yeah, that is kind of worded weird. “Oh, hey! Can you please help us for a second?” Dick called past Jason’s shoulder to whomever was about to walk into the store’s back room.

“Yeah, what can I help you guys with?” Comes the cheery response of the unknown employee.

Crap. Definitely not unknown.

“Are we supposed to enter our info or the bear’s at this step?” Dick questioned, tilting his head to the side like a lost puppy.

“Yeah, sorry about that. That’s actually a pretty common question. You’ll put your own info in there.” Danny answered easily.

You can have my info.” Jason joked mindlessly. Not even a second after, he slapped his hand over his mouth and turned to witness the growing shock on Danny’s own face. Before he could apologize, Danny chuckled awkwardly and turned to disappear into the backroom. Jason wondered if he was on his way to call mall security.

“That’s it, I’m done. Pay for this yourself, I’m leaving.” Jason said as he shoved the duck into Dick’s hands and stormed out of the store. He wasn’t sure if his face was as red as the duck from embarrassment or the growing anger he felt towards himself for willingly acting like a fool for the last half hour.

Finding a bench a little further down the mall’s hallway near the entrance, he dropped down with his palms shoved into his eyes. What the actual fuck was wrong with him? He can’t remember being this much of a mess since middle school. Is something wrong with him? Maybe he has a fever coming on and that’s why his brain had such a slow reaction time during the entire situation.

Or maybe he had a stupid crush and it was just causing him to act like a fucking idiot.

Jason chose to ignore the concerned looks of passerbyers as he groaned loudly into his hands, folding over his lap entirely. He sat there wallowing in self loathing for another 8 minutes before Dick and Damian came to stand in front of him with their purchases in hand.

“Are you feeling okay Jason? I’m sorry for pushing you to come along today. I never would have if I’d known you weren’t feeling well.” Dick worried as he handed a cub condo box to Jason, his lower lip beginning to quiver.

“I’m fine Dickie, let’s just get out of here.” He bemoaned, rising to his feet to begin leading them back to the car.

Only four steps away from the bench, Jason felt something latch onto his empty hand. Looking down, he saw Damian clutching his hand, a scowl on his face and gaze aimed at his feet. So as not to risk scaring him away, Jason said nothing and returned his focus back up in the direction they were headed. He definitely wasn’t about to cry.