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The Stretchy Werehog Penis Fic

Summary:

Absurd porn comedy fic based on a really funny piece of fanart I saw

Notes:

This fic is based on this piece of fanart:
https://bsky.app/profile/lampp0st.bsky.social/post/3lqg3bld46k25
because I find it absolutely hysterical and I can't stop thinking about how absurd it is

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

As it turned out, Sonic's arms were not the only appendage that stretched in his werehog form.

Initially, this was exciting. A dick that could extend to any size was any man's dream come true, after all. And, considering how much rougher sex tended to go when he was in his werehog form, it didn't seem too out of place.

Shadow had eagerly consented to Sonic going inside him, the stretchiness filling Shadow's inner walls in a way that he normally couldn't accomplish.

And, yes, the sex was good. With that extra space filled, they both were able to reach climax a lot quicker.

It was when Shadow came that Sonic knew he had a problem.

He had to pull out...

...And he couldn't

His body shuddered as he fought the urge to arrive inside of the darker hedgehog, desperately yanking on his penis to try and pull it out. But, too his horror, it just kept stretching like a fire hose, stuck inside of Shadow as he did everything he could to not give in to the mounting pleasure.

"Sonic, c'mon" Shadow prompted, getting both annoyed and concerned. "Pull out. I'm not trying to carry your damn babies"

"I can't" Sonic replied, beginning to tear up. His hips bucked involuntarily and he nearly lost it right then. Shadow got rather pissed now.

"Just pull it out!" he said, feeling the werehog's member twitch inside of him. He grabbed onto the shaft of the penis and tried to pull it out, but this didn't seem to help matters.

"I can't!" Sonic yelped, now sobbing. He was sexually overstimulated and now very terrified at the absurd body horror occurring with his were-dong. "It's stuck!"

"WELL, GET IT UNSTUCK!!" Shadow shouted, now panicking nearly as much as Sonic was as he continued to try and pull the member out of his passage. Unfortunately, it was like one of those ribbon tricks that clowns did. No matter how much he pulled out, there seemed to be more.

"IT WON'T STOP STRETCHING!!" Sonic shrieked, sobbing hysterically. Shadow, realizing the gravity of the situation, took a deep breath and decided to just tackle the issue quite literally head-on.

He drove a claw into his own chamber and fished out the head of Sonic's dick, setting them both free of the torture.

Sonic immediately came upon the release, and Shadow was left with a soreness in his lower half.

After Sonic's climax finished, he curled into a ball and continued crying, embarrassed and dropping rapidly from his more sexualized headspace. Shadow sighed and sat down next to him, gently petting at the werehog's head.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you" the hedgehog said softly as Sonic's body began to come down from the torment he'd just endured. "Are you okay?"

Sonic didn't reply, as he was a blubbering mess, still halfheartedly trying to get his dick back to normal size.

There was a silent agreement between them after this.

No more werehog sex.

Notes:

If you have any requests for me, you can submit them through one of the following methods :

AO3 prompt meme - https://archiveofourown.to/collections/newwwwusernamerequests
Google form - https://forms.gle/3K7STap3v715Hidu5
Google form (shorter) - https://forms.gle/Hp7JUAH2csXDEm8U7
Tumblr ask - https://www.tumblr.com/new/ask/newwwwusername
Bluesky (it says Sonic but other fandoms are okay too) - https://bsky.app/profile/newwwwusername.bsky.social/post/3lgu53yorc22n
Forum - https://newwwwusername.boards.net/board/5/submit-requests
Or leave it as a comment!

I also have a Discord server for fandom-y things if anyone wants to join: https://discord.gg/aYNNPaKp

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