Chapter Text
“Hyung come on!!” Hoseok shouted, enthusiastic and a bit too loud for Yoongi’s liking.
“I’m literally walking behind you baby” The elder replied, tone sounding agitated although he’s anything but. How could he ever be, when he has Jung Hoseok in his life?
“Noo!! Walk faster Yoonie, please” Hoseok slowed down his footsteps to match the pace of his boyfriend’s, only to drag Yoongi to walk faster. Clasping their hands together, Hoseok smiles blindly at Yoongi and drags him along with him.
“This is gonna be so much fun hyung, I can’t wait to reach” he says in his most excited tone, skipping in his steps.
Hoseok smiled, and his eyes crinkled, shining brightly like a galaxy full of stars.
Yoongi shakes his head, chuckling fondly at the younger’s enthusiasm.
There by the forest, lays a small tent with a small bonfire around it, fairy lights dangling from the roof of the tent, connected to a couple of sticks on the opposite side. Hoseok gasps in awe as soon as the place is in view, as if he isn’t the one that planned everything. The younger had prepared this small surprise for his boyfriend as an early birthday gift, since they always celebrate Yoongi’s birthday on the day with his family and close friends.
Hoseok makes a cute revealing voice when they reach, swinging their clasped hands together.
“Hyung look, I prepared all this for you!” He speaks, tone as excited as ever. Yoongi smiles fondly, reaching to place a hand at Hoseok’s waist, bringing him in closer.
“Thank you baby, hyung loves it” he places a soft kiss on Hoseok’s nose, making the younger giggle.
“Hyung come on, I prepared cake” Hoseok doesn’t wait for Yoongi to kiss him some more, just drags the elder to sit around the bonfire and blow the candles on the beautifully decorated strawberry and chocolate cake.
“You got strawberry and chocolate cake” he states, matter of factly, a hint of teasing in his tone.
Hoseok averts his gaze, seamingly guilty. “I-It was all they had in the shop” he dismisses, but Yoongi knows Hoseok gets him this type of cake on every occasion because he’s the one that loves strawberries.
“You sure you didn’t get your favorite Seok-ah?” He teases again, smirking at the redness tinting the younger’s cheeks.
“No” he speaks, still not looking directly at Yoongi, but Hoseok can’t lie, and it’s adorable.
Yoongi prepares the meal for them, while Hoseok helps him just by existing, and the elder can’t get himself to complain. Opting to enjoy the small space he shares with the love of his life, listening to the sound of the closeby stream and night owls in the distance. They feast, they laugh, and they talk, basking in each other’s existence and enjoying their own company.
“C’mere baby” Yoongi calls Hoseok after they’re done eating cake, tapping his legs gently as a sign for the younger.
Hoseok smiles and moves to place himself on his boyfriend’s lap, sitting sideways and dangling his legs. Yoongi places his head in the crook of Hoseok’s neck, sighing contently. The younger strokes his head softly, humming under his breath.
“Thank you” Yoongi says after he moves his head to lock gazes with Hoseok. “I couldn’t ask for a better birthday, I love you baby” he ends his words with a kiss to Hoseok’s lips, gentle and lingering.
“I love you too hyung, you deserve more babe” beams Hoseok, leaning in for a longer, deeper kiss.
The couple kiss languidly under the night sky, lips brushing together softly. No matter how many times they kiss, Yoongi can never stop feeling butterflies in his stomach, flying around happily flapping their wings in a beautiful field of flowers filled with love.
When they break the kiss for air, Yoongi stares into Hoseok’s eyes, in those brown eyes was the warmth of an everlasting hearth, getting lost in the flames of them was Yoongi’s favorite thing to do.
“I love your eyes, they’re my favorite” He speaks, pecking both Hoseok’s eyes softly. One hand resting on Hoseok’s waist while the other caresses the younger’s face gently.
“You always say that hyung” Hoseok smiles, face tinted a beautiful pink shade.
Yoongi smiles and drops a soft kiss to Hoseok’s lips, “It’s cause I mean it, baby”
They spend the night in the warmth of their small tent, making slow passionate love to each other and enjoying their time in the quiet of the forest.
“I love you Seok-ah” Yoongi breaks the silence before they drift to sleep.
“I love you more hyung” mutters Hoseok belatedly, voice heavy with sleep.
A few weeks pass by, Yoongi and Hoseok’s life is pretty much ordinary. They work, they go out on dates, they meet their friends, and they walk their dogs Mikey and Holly.
Yoongi gets home a bit late one Friday, and Hoseok welcomes him home with warm hugs and kisses.
“Was your day hard hyungie?” He says, stroking the elders’s hair while his head rests on his chest.
Yoongi lets out a grunt, letting the younger know he’s exhausted. “Today was packed with meetings, I barely had time to eat anything” he says, sounding unimpressed.
“Would you like your baby to feed you? I cooked some stew for dinner…” Hoseok asks, tone tentative as he tries to search for his hyung’s eyes. Yoongi lifts his head to look at his boyfriend, his exhaustion fades when he stares at Hoseok’s eyes, starry and fond. Yoongi remains silent for a while, just looking at the younger who’s smiling softly at him.
“Why are you looking at me like this hyung?” Hoseok says, cheeks coloring a dusty pink.
Yoongi feels his heart burst at the new wave of adoration and love that floods out of it. It suddenly pops up in his mind, how he had wasted 20 years of his life without being with Hoseok. “Do you know how much i love you?” He asks after another beat of absolute silence. But Yoongi doesn’t wait for the answer, he moves his hand behind Hoseok’s nape to pull him into a kiss, letting his lips speak what his words could never convey. Yoongi kisses Hoseok with all his might, to let him know how much he loves him and appreciates having him in his life.
“Can you show me hyung?” Asks the younger, cheeks still pink and pretty, lips swollen from the kiss. Hoseok looks at Yoongi with his beautiful eyes, asking for something Yoongi is best at giving.
The elder smirks, catching Hoseok off guard when he lifts him up in princess style, earning a loud squeak from him. Hoseok giggles excitedly as he’s carried to the bedroom. Yoongi takes his sweet time with his boyfriend, undressing him and placing soft lingering kisses all over his delicate body. Unraveling Hoseok, making him come undone under him, drinking in the soft whimpers as Hoseok squirms and lets out the most beautiful sounds. Yoongi likes it when Hoseok doesn’t close his eyes while they’re making love, wants the younger to see him while he takes care of him. “I love you Seok-ah” he whispers to him while he enters him, staring directly into his eyes as he brings them both pleasure, slowly and steadily. “You’re so beautiful, baby” Yoongi looks into his brown eyes that are like a stable ground, steady and prepared to embrace him when he falls into a nurturing and warm blanket of love.
Yoongi always found his ground in Hoseok’s eyes, and he never failed in letting the younger know just how beautiful he finds them to be.
They embrace each other while they both come down from their highs, steadying their breaths and wiping off the mess of sweat and sex. Yoongi puts on a loose shirt while Hoseok remains naked under the warmth of the blankets.
“Hyung skin,” he whines through pouty lips “I want to touch” he says.
Yoongi chuckles adoringly. The younger’s love language has always been physical touch, and he loves touching Yoongi’s soft skin. Anywhere his hands land, Hoseok doesn’t mind, he just likes the feel of Yoongi’s skin under his fingertips. Yoongi presses a chaste kiss on Hoseok’s forehead as the younger drifts to a blissful slumber.
Today is another day where Yoongi gets to leave his studio early, his song with Namjoon finally getting the final approval from management, the elder decides to go back home and treat his lover with a passionately cooked meal.
Hoseok had texted Yoongi earlier, telling him that he should arrive home by 7pm no longer. Attaching a streak of heart emojis and saying he loves him.
Yoongi smiles dumbly at his phone, like he’s a teenager having a crush. Him and Hoseok have been dating for almost 5 years now, have known each other for almost 7. They spent two years simping over each other, testing the waters, and crushing silently. Until one calm night, Hoseok had mustered up the courage and kissed Yoongi under the sparkling lights of fireworks. Yoongi felt the fireworks go off in both his heart and stomach, but that was the best feeling he ever got to experience. Hoseok had looked at Yoongi with the most beautiful starry eyes, shining stunningly brighter under the night sky. “I love you Yoongi hyung. It’s always been you.” Hoseok had said, his eye abandoning a tear of joy that Yoongi was quick to wipe off with his finger. Caressing the younger’s face with his hand, “And I’ve always loved you Seok-ah” he whispered back, locking their lips together again.
Yoongi can never forget that day, the deep ocean of shining stars that Hoseok’s eyes held, the same ocean he swam endlessly in, in silent hope of making Hoseok his one and only. His lover, his heart and soul. His Hoseok.
The ringer of his phone shakes Yoongi out of his stance, and what a cursed phone call that was.
“Hi ba—“
“Am I speaking to Mr. Min Yoongi?” A rushed voice of a young man bursted out of the speaker. It’s a rushed voice Yoongi does not recognize, and a small knot forms in his stomach.
“Y-Yes that’s me. Who’s speaking?” He answered anxiously.
“Mr. Min according to the record you are the emergency contact of Mr. Jung Hoseok, we need you to immediately come to the Hospital, I’m afraid Mr. Jung has been through a car accident and needs emergency surgery.”
Yoongi had a spoon held in his hand, but as soon as the man blurted those words at Yoongi, he felt his world stop. A knot, and another, and another was forming in his stomach while the man was explaining, but nothing was sinking in his brain.
Hoseok. Car accident. Hospital. Surgery.
The world spun in front of Yoongi’s eyes, making him lose his balance and fall back on the ground.
Hoseok. Car accident. Hospital. Surgery.
Is he hallucinating? This can’t be real, Hoseok had texted him a mere hours ago. His eyes sting with tears as he feels his ears ringing. Loud and unpleasant, deafening.
This can’t be real.
Yoongi ran out the apartment like a mad man, face soaking in a mixture of tears and sweat from his panic. Yoongi’s heart was beating so fast it could rip off his chest, his lungs trying to keep up with his ragged breathing but failing miserably.
He drove to the hospital as fast as he could, breaking so many road rules while he was at it. He stumbled out of the car, tripping and scraping his hand on the pavement, but he couldn’t feel the pain, couldn’t care less about himself. The only pain he was feeling was in his heart, the fear of losing his lover creating a big hole in his chest. It was like someone lit a dagger on fire and started stabbing Yoongi repeatedly with it. Yoongi’s pain was immense, but his head could only think of Hoseok. Tears stream steadily down his eyes, wetting his clothes under too. He prays to every god and deity and almighty power to save his boyfriend, or take him instead.
“J-Jung Hoseok” he mumbles, breathlessly. “I—I’m here for Jung Hoseok” he tells the receptionist behind the ER desk, panting like he just ran a marathon.
“Yes, Sir what is your relation to the patient?” The nurse asks, fishing out a clipboard with papers on it and a pen. “You need to sign here if you are direct family to be the guardian of patient Jung Hoseok”
Direct Family.
Yoongi doesn’t see in front of him. Vision blurring completely from his tears.
Hoseok needs him, he needs him to sign the surgery papers, but here he is, standing helpless in front of the law.
South Korea does not accept people of the LGBTQ+ community as legal guardians for their partners yet.
Yoongi is screwed.
“J-Just a moment please,” he tells the woman, and fishes his phone out with shaky hands and teary eyes. “I—I’ll call his sister” he supplies while dialing the familiar phone number of Jung Jiwoo. He takes a deep breath and tries his best to sound collected while he talks to his noona, explaining the situation calmly to her to spare her the panic. Yoongi tried his best, but Jiwoo doesn’t miss the endless fear in his voice. “C-Come quickly noona, please” is the last thing Yoongi says in the speaker as he hangs up.
The rest of the events are blurred in Yoongi’s mind.
He blinks his eyes open, seeing the shadow of a familiar figure in front of him, registering a warmth engulfing his right hand.
“Hyung are you awake?” He hears the voice speak, familiar. Very, very familiar, but Yoongi finds it difficult to put a name to it. All of a sudden, the memories of what happened flood back to his brain. The dinner, the phone call, Jiwoo, HOSEOK. Yoongi jolts upright, screaming “Hoseok” making the person beside him flinch.
“Hyung calm down, please” Speaks Namjoon, still holding on to Yoongi’s right hand.
“Where’s Hoseok Joon, where is he?” Yoongi yells, panic evident in his eyes, voice wavering and eyes starting to well with newly formed tears.
“He’s been moved to the Intensive Care Unit, hyung he’s alright now” Namjoon explains, tone calm and understanding.
Yoongi moves to hurriedly scramble out of bed, using his left hand to lift up the covers, and he hisses. “What the fuck” he curses, only now feeling the pain and numbness in his left hand from scraping it on the pavement earlier, noticing that it’s now clean and wrapped in a white cloth.
“You were bleeding hyung, the nurse had you all cleaned and bandaged,” Namjoon explains again, “Do you remember how you got this?” He asks, tone tentative.
“No, fuck. I don’t care about my stupid hand I’m going to see Hoseok.” Yoongi says agitatedly, moving to put back his slippers and walk away. In the hurry of the moment, Yoongi had walked out of the house still wearing his indoor slippers, but he couldn’t care less if that meant that he got to the Hospital faster for Hoseok.
Yoongi walks in the ER room mindlessly, searching the beds like a mad man, looking for his boyfriend. He doesn’t realize when his eyes start pouring again, the pain in his chest increasing as he fails to find his lover. He starts panting, breathing heavily as he moves from one bed to another, feeling lightheaded as he searches but fails miserably.
A pair of big, strong hands hold onto him then, trying to make him get a grip of himself. “Hyung, Seok-ah is not here.” Namjoon tries, looking at the elder, eyes filled with sadness and empathy for his hyung.
Yoongi feels a new flow of tears stream down his cheeks as he loses focus and goes limp in Namjoon’s arms again.
“We have tried, and done our best, thankfully his kidney has been restored in the surgery, however, he will need quite a long time to recover. The bad news is, unfortunately patient Jung’s eyes have been affected badly. I’m afraid he will not be able to see anymore, my deepest apologies.” The head doctors and four nurses bow politely to Hoseok’s family. “Patient Jung is still unconscious, we have him placed in the intensive care unit. We will need to monitor his recovery in the next couple of days.”
“Can I see him, doctor?” Jiwoo sobs.
“I’m afraid I can’t allow that Jiwoo-sshi, not yet.” The head doctor bows again politely before the medical team leaves the hallway.
Jiwoo and Jimin stood there like a pair of statues, the news sinking into their heads slowly. Jimin moves to place both his hands around Jiwoo, comforting both of them as his eyes shed tears at the bad news.
Jeongguk and Taehyung come running down the hallway then, panting as they ask for what the doctors have said. Taehyung still can’t believe his ears when Jimin delivers the news.
All three of them call Seokjin, Jeongguk’s big brother and Hoseok’s close friend, slowly delivering the devastating news to him as well.
Namjoon talked to the doctor personally, being in the medical field himself, he was asking if there is any possible chance for Hoseok to go through another surgery for his eyes. The answer is unfortunately, no. The damage that has been has affected the detachment of the retina in his eyes, and the hope for recovering his eyesight was close to zero.
The last person to hear the news was Hoseok’s boyfriend, Yoongi.
Slowly awakening again after passing out for the second time, Yoongi registers that all their friends are now gathered around his bed. He slowly moves to sit upright, and “Hoseok” is the first thing he says again.
“Hey, hyung. How are you feeling?” Jimin greets, opting for a calm smile to cover the tears stinging behind his eyes.
“Where’s Hoseok? What did the doctor say? When can I see him? Where’s Hoseok? How did the surgery go? Is he okay now? Where’s he?” Yoongi blabbers, asking the same questions and repeating himself, panic and worry evident in his voice and expression.
“Hyung, please calm down and listen to me,” Namjoon starts, sitting beside Yoongi on the bed and taking his uninjured hand in his. Yoongi feels tears in his eyes, “The doctors said Hoseok’s kidney is fine, the damage done there was avoidable, thankfully. They had him moved to the ICU after the surgery to monitor his condition and recovery closely.” He explains, tone tentative.
Yoongi sensed a ‘but’ coming along Namjoon’s words.
“But…?” He asks, fear filling his insides like a massive ocean, making it hard for Yoongi to swim up for air.
Namjoon sighs, his eyes welling with tears. He averts his gaze trying not to shed any tears, he needs to stay strong for his hyung.
After a moment of silence passes, Yoongi squeezes Namjoon’s hand, encouraging him to talk.
“But… the damage to his eyes was too bad, hyung..” he trails off, his tears dripping down his cheeks silently, uncontrollably.
“His eyes..?” Yoongi asks, dumbfounded.
“Hoseok can’t see anymore hyung” Says Namjoon, moving to hug Yoongi closely to his chest and sobbing into his head.
Yoongi feels like someone dumped a bucket of ice cold water on his head, he feels the shiver seep into every single vein in his body, making it freeze slowly. He stares at Namjoon, not quite understanding what the younger is implying, just yet.
“What do you mean he can’t see anymore?” He hears himself ask, voice cold and devoid of any emotions. Yoongi does not understand.
He hears a sob coming from beside him, tilting his head he sees Taehyung with his head in his lover’s neck, crying miserably. Jeongguk just pats his head softly, but he’s also crying himself.
Yoongi feels his heart shatter at the sight of his dongsaengs looking hurt and broken.
“What do you mean he can’t see, Joon? How can Hoseok not see what’s wrong with his eyes?” He demands, looking at Namjoon with a flicker of hope in his eyes. Hope that his boyfriend is going to be okay, that his Hoseok will recover from all this.
Hope that what he’s thinking right now isn’t true.
Namjoon wipes his nose on the inside of his shirt, sniffling as he says “The doctors said his retinal detachments were damaged beyond repair in the accident, the glass of the front window was what caused the injury, the doctors had done all they could,” He sighs, wiping a new stream of tears on his shirt. “But he won’t be able to see anymore hyung, I’m sorry.” And at that, Namjoon just full on sobs.
Yoongi stays quiet, not muttering a single word. He feels his insides as they go cold, body freezing vien by vein, muscle by muscle, limb by limb. Until Yoongi’s body goes absolutely numb, even his brain.
Hoseok stays unconscious for another three days, and Yoongi is still mute.
The guys try talking to him, Hoseok’s parents too, but Yoongi only sits by Hoseok’s bed, holding his hand and staring into space.
The rustling of fabric wakes Yoongi up, he opens his eyes and lifts his head to look at Hoseok. The elder had slept on the chair while waiting for Hoseok to awaken, head resting on his legs.
“Baby, are you awake? Can you hear me?” Yoongi speaks in a rough, deep voice. His throat feels tight from not being put to use for almost four days in a row.
Hoseok had his eyes covered with white bandages after the surgery, still oblivious to the truth. “H—Hyung?” He starts, turning his head into the direction of the voice.
Yoongi’s eyes instantly water, and he starts crying silently. “Yes baby I’m here” he tries.
“Hyung I can’t see” complains the younger in a dry voice, hands trying to reach and remove the cover off his face.
Yoongi panics, and sits up to stop Hoseok from opening the bandages, “It’s okay baby your eyes are covered after the surgery” Yoongi tries to sound collected, but he thinks he’s failing. He clicks the button to call the nurse without Hoseok noticing.
“But I want to see you, hyung” the younger says, making a pained whimper escape Yoongi’s lips.
Hoseok still doesn’t know that he won’t have the chance to look at his boyfriend ever again. It pains the older, this thought of not being able to look into his lover’s eyes and feel the love in them. It pains him when he thinks of all the times he’s searched Hoseok’s eyes for reassurance and ground. All the times Hoseok’s eyes have formed small sparkly crescents every time he laughed hard.
“I’m here baby, it’s going to be okay” is all the elder could say back.
Yoongi feels like he got trapped in a box full of needles lit on fire. He feels agitated at the fact that he’s helpless, and frustrated that it’s not him going through all this pain instead of his lover.
Yoongi doesn’t know who to put the blame on, he just knows that he’s angry. It shouldn’t be his boyfriend going through all this, why can’t anyone bad have faced the same fate? Hoseok is a soft person with the purest heart, he doesn’t deserve this.
Yoongi cries, he cries and cries until his tears go dry, and the day Hoseok finds out about his new fate, Yoongi decides he needs to be nothing but strong for the younger.