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‘I think you might be my soulmate.’ Bucky was staring at his right wrist, where that cursed birthmark was glaringly obvious to see for anyone looking, more precisely Tony and him. The birthmark, which he had ignored for the longest time. Which was, at least according to the old legends, supposed to identify his soulmate. Which was currently glowing in a bluish silvery light, making it look even more similar to the Arc-Reactor embedded in Tony’s chest than it had been from the very start.
The man in question had frozen up the second the words were out in the open. His eyebrows arched up in evident confusion that turned into understanding before returning to confusion mixing with disbelief, that Bucky couldn’t exactly begrudge him for. ‘Soul-what?!’ Yep, confusion and shock. Why hadn’t he just kept his trap shut, for cryin’ out loud?
Probably because the trouble had started much earlier than that afternoon. Seeing that his birthmark was the reason for the current confusion, he had been doomed to land at this horrifying moment long before meeting the older brunet, yet he found himself wincing at the other’s exasperation.
To be fair, ever since Stevie had found him and had brought him back to the compound of the Avengers, he had kept his distance from each Stark, or rather they had kept their distance from each other. Hell, as far as Bucky could remember, they hadn’t been in the same room since he had moved in three months ago. Two months and two weeks to be more precise, because two weeks ago something in their tentative dance of avoidance had changed.
Fourteen days ago, in the middle of the night, after not even two hours of restless sleep, Bucky had gotten woken up by night terrors that had prevented him from going back to bed. It had happened often enough to know that those nights were lost anyway, so instead, he had wandered down to the communal floor to get himself a cup of those herbal teas Dr. Banner had recommended. ‘They may not get you back to sleep, but they really calm my nerves. Maybe it’s something you would like to try some time eventually.’
With the shy doctor’s words in mind, he had been struggling to will away the images of prior missions, while searching through the assortment of teas with different effects, mainly to calm down seeing the good doctor’s short-tempered greener half. Bucky had been so lost in his own mind, that he had almost missed, how a short frame with tussled hair had shuffled out of the elevator looking more dead than alive.
The tower’s engineer had probably been at his workshop for a few days straight again. Steve had told him about the man’s strange habits. Back then Tony hadn’t even looked up as he had steered towards the coffee machine, while Bucky had been still too drowsy to react or rather too busy with deciding on a tea to react and dodge in time, which had led to the shorter brunet bumping right into the former Winter Soldier.
The impact hadn’t been hard, only causing Tony to glance up with a confused frown covering his forehead as he had met Bucky’s gaze before grabbing the coffee cup and shuffling back towards the elevator. Nothing noteworthy, except that Bucky had found himself paralyzed. His whole body heating up as he had flushed beet red while following the retreating frame with eyes so wide that he had been able to feel them watering.
The other had been long since gone, yet it had taken embarrassingly long for him to regain enough composure to finally tear his gaze away from where Tony had vanished, which had only led to the even more embarrassing realization that his first impulse had been to look down at his arm. Luckily, he had been the only one present back then or the ‘Holy fucking shit’ that had escaped him when he had seen that stupid birthmark lighting up for the first time, would have been enough to grant him another lecture from Steve ‘swearing like a sailor when no one is close enough to hear’ Rogers on the matter of language.
Even if, Bucky would have probably not heard a word since all his thoughts had come to a halt. The only thing left to echo and amplify within him had been the unmistakably glowing sign embedded in his skin, suggesting that his honest-to-God soulmate had touched him.
From there on, he had passed the rest of the night pacing up and down the floor that Tony had provided him with since he was to live with the Avengers until all charges against him were cleared and he would be established as part of the team of heroes. Not that he would have had any other place to go to really. Steve had brought him back and since the Avenger-Compound was the heroes’ base, it made sense to Bucky to get stationed there. Tony had just shrugged at the declaration of the SHIELD officials that had sealed the headboard’s decision, before letting a room... well, more like the floor right above Steve’s get set up for him, only to leave the meeting not a minute later when his phone had rung through the air.
As head of Stark Inc and consultant for SHIELD’s security as well as weapon expert for the Avengers and Iron Man to top it off the man was barely around anyway, so yeah. There hadn’t been many encounters that could have led to this reaction, but after that faithful night, Bucky there was no way to mistake the obvious signs. For him at least. Tony on the other hand hadn’t as much as batted an eye, which had left Bucky with a strange ache he hadn’t dared to look into too deep. Soulmates… that had been just too absurd in the first place, so instead, he had tried to ignore the pull in his chest as much as possible from thereon.
As expected, he hadn’t gone back to sleep that night, and unfortunately just as expected, the thought of soulmates as much as the strange ache in his chest hadn’t disappeared either. Quite the contrary had been the case since suddenly that mark and the shorter brunet had seemed to turn into the only things of interest left within the universe. During Stevie’s and his morning run, Bucky had nearly missed a bus while crossing a street, too lost in thoughts that hadn’t stopped circling around Tony and what he was supposed to do with the glowing circle on his wrist, he had hidden underneath a sweatband.
‘Buck? You alright?’ His friend’s worried voice had been familiar in his ears and a heavy sight had left him before he could stop it from leaving his chest. Unfortunately, it had only caused the frown on the blond’s forehead to deepen so Bucky had elaborated in order to calm the other as much as to avoid unnecessary questions. ‘You know if soul marks are still a thing nowadays?’
Bucky had been more than aware that the question had been uncanny for him and the way Steve’s eyes had widened in surprise had affirmed it as much as the other’s flummoxed tone. ‘Well, uh… no. As far as I can tell not really. It seems back in our days it had already been a rare occurrence, but now? To be honest, I haven’t seen anyone with a mark since waking up... why?’
The cerulean eyes of his old-time friend had lit up in unmasked curiosity but without knowing what to do himself, Bucky had automatically blanked his face, while shrugging dismissively. ‘Jus’ wonderin’ since I didn’t see any of the others at the compound havin’ one.’ Steve had watched him for a moment longer before deeming it enough of a reason to let the topic slide again.
The former Winter Soldier hadn’t asked any further. He had gotten trained to hide emotions and stay silent after all. Even back in the days, he hadn’t told anyone besides his mother about the suspicious-looking mark on his wrist, so he wouldn’t change that now, especially when it was a thing that had likely died out around a century ago. The deeply rooted fear of getting poked and probed and examined again was enough of a deterrence to keep silent about the peculiarity. Even Hydra had ignored it, so he had made up his mind to ignore it as well.
It had only worked so well because for some stupid reason that unexpected encounter in the compound’s kitchen had started to turn his coincidental avoidance of Tony and vice versa into more and more coincidental encounters, which Bucky simply refused to assign to the faintly glowing mark on his wrist. Nothing but just flukes. Like him standing in the kitchen getting coffee, while Tony had passed through on his way to work or him going to the gym for his regular workout, only to find the shorter brunet already running on the treadmill, or during Steve’s and his morning run, when they had passed the gateway to the training compound just as Tony’s flashy yellow convertible had driven past them, the man inside offering them a mock salute.
All of a sudden it had felt like he was bound to walk right into the other, who rarely did more than glance up for a second, offering him an acknowledging nod before returning to doing whatever he had done before. It had been nerve-wracking and Bucky had been about ready to accept the fact that he could just never leave his room ever again to avoid running into the shorter man, only for fate to decide that that hadn’t been an option either.
A single wrong move during his workout routine had caused one of the shoulder plates of his left arm to act up, which rendered the artificial limb completely immobile. The sudden restriction had caused a wave of panic to well up from deep within him as memories of Hydra’s ‘treatments’ for such occurrences had broken through, causing him to throw up into the next best trash bin in reach at the phantom pain it had usually brought along.
The second he had been able to get a hold of himself again, Bucky had half crawled, half dragged himself into the elevator that had brought him back to his floor. It had taken much longer than he would have liked to admit until he had finally found himself inside his bathroom. The seething hot spray of water had futilely fought to wash away the memories of laboratories drenched in blinding neon lights or the numbing feeling of cold spreading through his body. Even underneath the steady stream of water Bucky’s had continued to get filled with ice flowers he had watched forming on the inside of the cryo-chamber until he would black out completely.
A knock on the door had ripped him out of the dark spiral he had been sliding into, his breaths coming short and the cold sweat running down his face already starting to burn in the corner of his eyes, or had those droplets running down his face been tears? Another knock had forced him to swallow around the lump in his throat while willing his lips to form words. ‘Get lost, punk.’ He really hadn’t been in the mood for Steve’s mother-hen-fuss.
To his surprise, the other hadn’t called out or, started breaking down the door. Instead, a piece of paper had gotten slipped underneath the door. The handwriting more of a scribble than actual words and nothing like the blond’s neat cursive writing.
J informed me about the arm. If it doesn’t get better on its own, feel free to come down to the workshop. Maybe we can work it out together. You can always inform Jarvis should you need anything at all.
T.
He had heard soft steps, belonging to someone much lighter than Steve, disappear while he had read through the hastily scribbled lines again and once more just to be sure. His heart had made a strange flip, before starting to race while the silver circle on his wrist had glowed up in that eerie light, Bucky had only ever heard stories about.
Back then his mom had told him that it was a soul mark on his wrist, but his hopes had never been high to find the counterpart. During the war, there had been other priorities. Under Hydra, there hadn’t been much left of him either way. And now after he had gotten brought back, he was a broken man with a million issues and a glowing wrist that was telling him his soulmate was a guy, that wouldn’t even have lived at the same time as him under normal circumstances.
A guy that didn’t as much as look at him, talk about falling into his arms at first sight like the legend had always proclaimed. Maybe that was because he hadn’t had a soul mark of his own. Maybe Steve had been right and that strange anomaly had died out some time ago. Maybe he had been overthinking this all and it had just been an allergic reaction... yeah, that would have been a wonderful explanation.
It would have explained the itchy feeling in his chest, the unnatural increase of his heart rate, the shortcoming of breath... it would have been such a logical explanation, that allergic reaction to... the short brunet’s... after-shave… yeah... yeah! That would have been perfectly reasonable.
With his arm still stuck in an awkward angle, he had pushed himself back up to his feet. The offer Tony had made something he couldn’t really have declined after all. He had been well aware that the dislocated plate wouldn’t disappear on its own and the heroes’ mechanic had been the best choice to take a look at it, yet the thought of getting strapped down again to have his arm repaired had caused Bucky’s stomach twist in fear.
He had made his way downstairs, firm in his determination that he would just walk in, ask the mechanic to fix his arm, and walk out again. The plan had worked right to the point, where he had found himself standing in front of the frosted glass doors shielding the workshop from the outer world while shifting from one foot to the other. Contemplating what to say or rather whether to walk in the first place or not had seemed to turn into his favorite new pastime for the next ten minutes.
Those might have stretched into twenty or thirty minutes easily, if the doors hadn’t opened automatically at some point, revealing the shorter brunet, working, on what had looked like one of Hawkeye’s arrows, dress-shirt-clad back turned towards him. ‘Come in or don’t, but that shifting of yours makes me kinda nervous.’
Bucky had flushed beet red at getting called out like that and he had been more than a little grateful that the other hadn’t turned around or he might have had to jump out of the next window if only to die out of anything else but embarrassment. He had still shuffled in hastily, the door closing behind him the moment he had fully entered the workshop.
To Bucky’s relief, it hadn’t looked much like Hydra’s labs. The room, much brighter. The air, a lot cleaner. The scent of coffee easily overshadowing everything else. ‘I... uhm... you were in my room...’ ok, not exactly what he had planned to start a conversation with, and the way the other twisted around to face him with eyes widened in shock, had been more than enough of a proof that Stark hadn’t expected the accusing words either.
‘Yeah, I ... I’m sorry I got a note from Jarvis that your arm was acting up. He keeps an eye on the open parts of the compound and... I well the health scan showed heightened stress as a result of sudden pain, so I just...’ Tony had made a vague gesture, not continuing his mumbled apologies and train of thoughts that had led to the action.
He hadn’t had to either since Bucky had gotten the picture, already feeling bad for having the other apologize when it was him, who would be the one causing extra work for the genius still looking like he had just walked out of one of the SI meetings with his gray slacks and white shirt, while the waistcoat and jacket had gotten discarded on another workbench. It hadn’t been exactly unlikely knowing how packed the other’s schedule usually was, so he had waved Tony off in faint hope the other would understand. He had and so Tony had simply pushed himself up from his rotating stool, before stepping over to where Bucky had still been standing at the entrance door.
It hadn’t been intentional, but despite knowing better, something about the sigh of the other, screwdriver already in hand, had caused Bucky to flinch back out of reflex, immediately shielding his vulnerable side from the approaching man. Tony had frozen up mid-step, hands raised in a pacifying gesture you would expect to see on someone working with shy animals. The tender smile of the other not too far away from that scenario either.
‘Sorry, I...’ Bucky’s meager attempt of an excuse had gotten cut off by the other’s head shaking and he had been glad for it since he wouldn’t have known how to continue. Sorry to bother you? Sorry, I can’t take care of myself? Sorry, I’m scared of getting hurt? All of those statements would have been correct, yet nothing he had planned to say out loud in front of the guy his body had recognized as his soulmate.
The short mechanic had kept his palms open while slowly closing the distance until he had stood right in front of Bucky, big chestnut brown eyes watching him carefully. The concern had been evident and the former soldier had realized that that had been the first time he had really looked into them. It had been the most mesmerizing thing he’d ever seen. Like sunlight breaking through a glass of whiskey in the evening sun. Breathtakingly beautiful.
‘Look, that arm clearly isn’t sticking in the right direction and to be honest, it looks really uncomfortable and if you allow me to take a look, I could try to fix it. Is it ok if I touch you?’ Bucky had barely heard the question but had found himself nodding along nonetheless. Whatever his mate wanted was fine. It had been the only thought left within his mind, which Tony had taken in a stride as the short man’s palm had come to rest on the small of his back.
The touch had taken Bucky by surprise, yet he hadn’t turned away, the initial fight or flight instinct easily overwritten as the warmth had seeped through his shirt. Instead, the former soldier had found himself leaning back into the point of contact from where Tony had guided him towards the stool he had been sitting on before, gesturing for Bucky to sit down.
‘I’m gonna take a look at the plates, ok? If anything I do makes you uncomfortable, you tell me. If anything I do hurts, you tell me. If I should stop, you tell me.’ The words had been soft-spoken, but no less intense. They had left no room for misunderstandings and never had Bucky felt more grateful for the clear instructions. Ever since his return, everyone was leaving everything up to him. What he wanted to eat, do, watch, and all the likes. It was as liberating as it was exhausting.
He had loved regaining his choice, but sometimes exactly those choices left him lost, and asking others would mostly lead to responses like, ‘You can do whatever you want.’ Or ‘It’s your decision now, you don’t need permission anymore.’ He knew that yet having Tony taking over so naturally had been like inhaling a fresh breath of air after being stuck in a stuffy room for too long.
He had simply nodded again and the shorter brunet had mirrored the motion in lieu of an answer, which had caused the soul mark to start pulsing again. The heat had spread from Bucky’s wrist all the way up his arm and right into his chest where his heart had yet to stop racing all over again. Yep, this could have been so easily the allergy... so in favor of ignoring the sudden rush of heat, Bucky had bit down on the inside of his cheek while he had watched the shorter brunet pull out some fine tools the other could use to work on the stuck arm.
Bucky had tried to mentally prepare himself for the inevitable pain that would shoot through him the moment the other would start his work, only it never came. He had waited a moment longer, another slow minute passing and another before finally opening his eyes to glance to the side, where Tony had stood, quietly watching him in unmasked sympathy.
Before Bucky had gotten a chance to say something, the other had placed a gentle hand over his right hand and wrist that had been straining into a tight fist. ‘I’m not going to hurt you. Promise, I just want to help.’ Bucky had been well aware of that and the sincere whisper of the brunet mechanic with the sad smile adorning his handsome features had given the former soldier no reason to doubt his words. Even less so when the beat of his heart had picked up once again with the other so close.
‘I know it’s just...’ Bucky had tried to find the words that had seemed out of reach with no way to express the emotions pushing him into a fight or flight position once again. He hadn’t looked at Tony in favor of focusing on the spot where the other’s warm palm had been resting on his own slowly relaxing fist.
A calloused thumb had started to massage little circles into the back of his hand, the small gesture enough for Bucky to let out a soft sigh. ‘I would like to make a scan of the arm and its inside mechanics, so I can avoid hitting neuro-wired parts while they still connect with your nervous system. You ok with that, Winter Wonder?’
Bucky had looked at the shorter brunet in wonder, as he had offered another nod which had been the only response, not trusting his voice to stay somewhat calm enough to form any word of agreement. The other had answered with a proud smile that had caused Bucky’s heart to skip a beat while silently cursing that stupid allergy.
‘Great. Thank you. It really only takes a moment, so please try to relax.’ he had watched the mechanic turn towards the ceiling without letting go of his hand and Bucky had been more than a little grateful for the reassuring contact. ‘J, inner and outer scan of Frosties metal jacket, please.’
The AI gave a curt ‘Yes sir’ as a response before the light of the workshop had dimmed for a moment and despite the fact that Bucky could see well enough in the dark, he still had turned his hand upside down, so he had been able to hold on to the mechanic’s rough palm as one, two, three flashes of light had cut through the darkness before the normal lights had filled the room once again.
To Bucky’s surprise, Tony hadn’t pulled away from where their fingers had been entwined, though the scan had clearly ended. Instead, they had looked at each other for a long suffocating moment, that had left Bucky trembling with a growing storm of emotions he hadn’t been able to give words to.
The tension had broken, when three blue holograms had suddenly popped up next to the shorter brunet, causing his head to snap to the side almost automatically. Bucky had hardly managed to suppress the disappointed sigh threatening to slip when the other had slowly loosened the hold they had on each other, so he could start dismantling and working through the hoovering copy of the artificial arm.
For a while, the room had been filled with the mechanic’s mumbling and half-loud spoken notes meant for his AI while Bucky had felt himself relax into the sound of Tony’s voice. The soul mark on his wrist had settled into a steady pulse, almost reminding him of a beating heart that wasn’t his own and for a moment Bucky had allowed himself to entertain the idea of it being in fact his soulmate’s heartbeat. No one really knew how that whole concept worked after all.
‘Ha! Ok. Nice. Good, I got it. This should be it.’ The mechanic had grinned triumphantly, a little screwdriver tugged behind his ear, another one in his hand, pointing at a section of the shoulder. Bucky had stared at the other and the shorter brunet’s confident smile had turned almost coy. ‘I... could get the plate fixed, I mean. Are you ok with me opening up the panels?’
Another nod, another grateful smile, and suddenly Bucky had found himself wondering why Stark had been the one looking grateful when it was him who should thank the man helping him without hesitation, granting him a place to live, providing for all his needs, while fighting for him on the legal side as well. He had paled when it hit him. Had he ever thanked the other at all since arriving?
The thought had let Bucky straighten up in shock, just as the other had been about to open up the cover panel, that would grant him insight into the arm’s mechanical life. The twitch had caused Stark to raise his hands up and away from where they had been about to open the plate, showing them to Bucky. The thoughtful gesture had caused the soul mark’s pulse to speed up again.
‘Stark... I... you don’t have to, I mean... you are doing so much already and I can’t possibly repay you, so...’ the brunet’s eyes had gone comically wide at Bucky’s incoherent babbling before a soft chuckle had broken free from the other’s chest. The former soldier had seen how the other had tried to keep it from turning into a full-blown laughing fit and it had created a deep shade of red on his cheeks. This hadn’t been meant to be funny, quite the contrary, he had been more than serious...
In an attempt to calm down the shorter brunet had cleared his throat, quickly catching himself before turning towards Bucky with an earnest smile. ‘Ok first thing, don’t ‘Stark’ me at home, Tony is just fine. Second, I don’t ‘have’ to do anything actually, but I want to and last but not least, I don’t do anything in expectation of repayment. If I did, I wouldn’t work with SHIELD.’ He had shrugged matter of fact-ly. ‘So don’t worry your pretty head about something like repaying me.’
Bucky had been about to disagree, knowing that he couldn’t just accept all of the other’s kindness without giving anything back, and just as if Sta... Tony had sensed his pending intervention, Bucky had gotten cut short by the other. ‘Oh well, but if you really want to do something in return…’ the other had tapped his chin in thought, while Bucky’s gaze sharpened. ‘…I would like to see you be able to smile again. I’m sure it would suit you very well.’
The storm of unfamiliar emotions suddenly emerging in Bucky’s chest had left him breathless, leaving him to wonder if it hadn’t been that soul thing after all? How it was possible for a person to be so sweet and perfect without even realizing it? How someone could be everything Bucky had always hoped to find within a partner?
The brunet in question had scratched the back of his head awkwardly, coughing to cover the soft blush running up his cheeks as he turned towards the hologram again, tapping away some notes before coming to face Bucky with a screwdriver still in his hand and a questioning gaze. ‘So?’ In lieu of an answer, the former soldier had offered his left arm, leaning towards the mechanic, with a somewhat timid smile that had barely managed to hide the fear still lingering in the back of his mind.
Tony had offered a curt determined nod, before starting to unlock the first panel. Bucky had tensed, still kinda awaiting the pain to follow, but Tony had carefully weaved his way through the wires, letting a steady stream of words fall from his lips, telling Bucky step by step what he was doing. It had been reassuring and had once again eased some of the nerves out of the former soldier’s tense body.
In the end, it hadn’t taken long for the tech-genius to find the error. Two, three more pokes at the right gears and plates until the cramped-up stiffness within the arm had disappeared and the limb had turned lax and flexible again. The main plate had clicked shut again and Tony had leaned back with a satisfied smirk on his smile while skillfully twirling the screwdriver between nimble fingers.
Bucky had tentatively moved his wrist, his forearm, his shoulder, before finally tightening his hand into a fist, starting the automatic recalibration of his arm, listening to the familiar hum of the servos and the metal plates clicking into their designed places. He had flexed the arm once more before letting it fall to the side in favor of looking at Tony, who had met his gaze head-on for a moment and Bucky could have sworn that he had felt the other’s heartbeat on his wrist.
Maybe it had been the fond way the other had looked at him. Maybe the humming tension that had filled the space between them. It hadn’t mattered either way because the thought, that had haunted the former soldier ever since that night the shorter man had bumped into him, had slipped him without even realizing it.
Scratch back to the present.
‘Soul-what?!’ Tony’s voice was rough and the mechanic had to clear his throat twice before getting a whole sentence out while Bucky found himself paling at the other’s shocked reaction. ‘Soulmates? Like in the old stories? Why would you think that?’ It wasn’t exactly judgmental, slightly panicked, yes, but curiosity took over quickly and even though a big part of Bucky just wanted to run, another traitorous part allowed a little bud of hope to start blooming.
Something was there. Bucky could almost feel it, yet he hesitated for a long moment, his left hand clutching his right wrist where the mark was hidden and he had to take in a few deep breaths before finally managing to push up the band covering the glowing circle on his wrist. Metal fingers revealed the glowing mark and Bucky found himself silently praying to every god in existence to not let the other shy away or worse turn him into a lab rat.
He watched Tony’s mouth go slack for second, dark brown eyes wide and expression unreadable while Bucky held his breath, not daring to move when the other’s hand reached out to let his fingertips brush over the softly glowing patch of skin almost reverently. ‘It’s... I... I can feel ... two pulses?’
Bucky offered a half-shrugged nod, barely managing to hide the shiver Tony’s marveling tone elicited from deep inside him. It wasn’t like he was an expert on this matter. He only knew the stories and rumors from back in the day and even then, he hadn’t paid that much attention since he had never thought it possible to find his significant other anyways.
‘I… I’m not sure. As far as I can remember the story, a soul mark is activated, when it recognizes its counterpart, probably adapting and synchronizing the other’s heartbeat... we... there wasn’t much we knew about it, to be honest... it was quite rare people met. Most of the mark-bearers never seeing it activated at all.’ He shrugged apologetically for not having a more satisfying answer for the man of science sitting in front of him, alternating between staring at the mark in wonder and glancing at Bucky’s face in awed disbelief.
‘J? Look up everything you can find about the soul mark concept and gimme a five-sentence or less summary. Save the details for later though.’ The holoscreen, that had projected the inside of the arm changed appearance, and Bucky watched how the AI was running through all available information for a few moments before stopping again to give the requested report, the calm British voice filling the room.
‘The soul mark seems to be a genetic anomaly that appears all around the world, through every part of history, going back to the first cave drawings, where one part of the two mates is born with a mark, that only his counterpart can activate by direct skin contact.
There currently is no way of figuring out the parameters resulting in the match between the two parties involved since neither age, gender, heritage, nor genetic similarities have offered an explanation.
So far, nothing that would have given any clue to academics has been found, making it the biggest mystery of scientific research, which had led to it being the current concept of the human soul, that acts out of the scientific approach.
One of the most popular theories before the idea of soulmates went out of style in the late twenty’s century, was that the mark would lead its bearer to the other, while the significant other would inevitably be drawn towards the bearer of the mark until the connection is established.
The pulses of the two beings would synchronize within the mark, which in return would duplicate itself onto the mark-less person’s wrist, so the mates would feel each other’s heartbeats for the rest of their lives.’
The AI closed the presentation in front of the two men, who had gone dead silent. Bucky watched Tony turn his hand around in what seemed like slow motion, unbuttoning the cuffs of his dress shirt with surprisingly shaky fingers. Was he afraid? The question caused an unexpected pain to shoot through Bucky’s chest, his jaw tightly locked in place to keep himself from sputtering out an apology for… he wasn’t even sure for what, but there were probably more than enough reasons for him to apologize.
The moment the fabric slid aside it reviled the skin that showed the exact same mark as Bucky’s own and with the way Tony was staring at the foreign sign on his wrist for an uncomfortable long moment with an unreadable expression, it became apparent what the reason for his apology should be. He had burned the shorter brunet with something he hadn’t asked for, had pushed that strange mark onto the other, that probably meant nothing to the man of science in the first place.
He was about to voice his thoughts that were a mess of attempts to explain and apologize at the same time, but before Bucky got the chance, Tony was already placing two digits over the softly glowing circle. Slowly, tentatively those fingers used to create, used to save, and preserve started to trace the mark Bucky had seen a thousand times on himself, yet seeing it on the other, on the one supposed to be his soulmate took his breath away.
There was a long moment of silence neither of them dared to break as Bucky watched the shorter brunet flush beet red, who broke the quiet when his eyes snapped up in a mixture of awe and shock and fascination. ‘I... I can feel your heart beating...’ The lack of fear in the other’s tone made breathing easier again and Bucky almost placed his own fingers on his mark but the metal of his left wasn’t sensitive and touching something so precious with the hand that had brought him the title ‘Fist of Hydra’ wasn’t an option either, so he stopped.
Instead, he lifted his hand up to his lips pressing them softly against the pulsing patch of skin, where he could feel the sudden increase in Tony’s heart rate. When he looked up again the other’s doe eyes had turned nearly pitch black, the cognac brown nothing but a thin ring and it was only then that he realized, how the gesture must have looked to the other, who didn’t avert his gaze.
Bucky could feel his face burning up from his faux pas as much as from finding himself in the middle of the engineer’s attention that usually was so easily diverted. It didn’t and the way Tony’s hold on his own wrist tightened was enough of a tell-tale that the other was affected as well, to allow the faint hope to bud in Bucky’s chest. Maybe the other wouldn’t throw him out of the workshop after all the second they regained their ability to speak.
That hope was blooming even faster when Bucky watched Tony’s fingers continue to trail over the mark reverently, while he felt his own pulse catching up with the staccato of Tony’s heartbeat against his lips. He wanted to reach out, wanted to know the other’s thoughts and he silently cursed his lips and tongue and mind for refusing to work together to form even one of those questions. The moment was cut short anyways when the familiar British voice of Jarvis filled the room.
‘Sir? Captain Rogers is looking for Sargent Barnes. Should I let him know that you are both currently unavailable?’ the question ripped them both out of the unreal bubble that had started to form around them, separating them from reality. The same reality that was now knocking at the frosted glass door of the workshop in form of a certain Steve Grant Rogers.
They both straightened up again, Tony quickly closing the buttons of his dress shirt again, while Bucky put the wristband back on just in time before Steve was stumbling in with his signature half-worried, half-reprimanding expression firm in place. ‘Tony? Jarvis just told me Bucky had trouble with his arm. Have you seen... Bucky? What are you doing down here?’
The blond’s tone turned from overprotective-worried to somewhat accusing and Bucky could see the short brunet next to him suck in a slow breath before rolling his eyes in an exasperated manner that was more show than anything. ‘Well, Capsicle, what do you think Robo-Cop over here could possibly want down at the workshop, when having trouble with his mechanical arm?’
Bucky couldn’t help but snigger at the remark or rather at the way his friend was defensively mumbling something about just being worried while hiding his embarrassment for asking the obvious with a cough. But Steve wouldn’t be Steve if he wouldn’t quickly get back to being the worrywart he was, even if it was somewhat more tentatively expressed.
‘So… is everything ok again?’ the tall blond’s gaze was darting from Tony to Bucky with wide puppy eyes that made it hard to resist, so he gave the poor man a thump up with his metal hand as kind of proof. It was seemingly everything Steve had needed as reassurance because he shot a beaming smile at Bucky before clapping his hands. ‘Wonderful, because Nat and Sam want to see whose hand-to-hand combat combinations are better and are asking us to judge... well, to be honest, probably just you but I could use a workout as well and I can’t let Sam beat me again.’
Hiding the smile at the memory of Steve getting his ass handed back to him during their last melee training after Sam had asked Nat for some tips to beat an opponent stronger than himself, was almost impossible. Not that Bucky was trying particularly hard as he nodded once before following his grumbling friend out the sliding glass doors. He still paused for another moment silently thanking Tony once more with a curt nod, not trusting his voice to work properly already. The answer was an undefined, dismissive gesture shooing them out with a smile that looked a tad too wide to be real.
‘You really good? You two looked kinda tense?’ Steve’s absentminded question that barely hid the concern already growing within the other, pulled Bucky out of his thoughts that continued to swirl around the mark on his wrist and the need to feel it, to feel the pulse that wasn’t his own. Looking at the blond, who had never been good at subtility, he quickly shook his head, making sure to keep a somewhat realistic smirk on his lips. ‘Sure. You on the other hand should rather worry about how you will deal with the emotional damage that losing against Romanoff, Wilson, and me in a row will cause you.’
The exasperated huff he had gotten in response had been followed by a weak punch to his right arm ‘You better watch yourself, it’s not like I haven’t trained as well.’ The light-hearted banter continued and the topic of Tony vanished as well. At least out of their conversation, Bucky’s mind was a different story though.
The day passed without seeing the shorter brunet again, which wasn’t that unusual. Neither was the other’s absence during meal-times the next or the day after that. By the time a week had passed without them meeting even once, Bucky was starting to think that maybe he had hallucinated the whole encounter in the workshop after all, but every time the thought popped up, he could feel his heart rate speed up and he automatically reached up to brush away some stray strands or scratch his ear or muse through his hair, anything really that would work as a cover for him feeling the pulse of the mark on his wrist against his cheek, or neck, or lips, while trying to rationalize the other’s absence.
‘Buck? You all right there, buddy? You seem kinda lost since you talked with Tony.’ Bucky’s gaze snapped towards his friend. Of course, Steve would notice something like that. He always did, that observant punk, even though it only seemed to be the case when it came to others. When it was himself, that stubborn bastard would ignore anything of concern.
They had been sitting on the couch on the communal floor for a while already, absentmindedly zapping through the millions of channels the compound seemed to receive. The day had been quiet, no missions, no sudden alerts, and most of the heroes had found themselves a quiet corner to just take it easy for the day.
Bucky just shrugged dismissively, not bothering to look at his friend, who had stopped the futile search for something to watch in favor of focusing on him. ‘Nah, jus’ wondering why we haven’t seen him in days. Did he get another mission assignment?’ Out of the corner of his vision, he could see Steve frowning and that caught Bucky’s attention all right.
‘What do you mean? He’s been at the tower the whole week already. To be honest, I can’t remember having him here for so long without him dashing out to some meeting or the like…’ The blond cocked his head in thought. ‘Probably because the last weeks had been so busy, he is now trying to catch up on the repairs of our equipment. Knowing Tony, he is probably tinkering in the workshop, living on coffee and bagels again. Why? Did you need something? Is it the arm again?’ the worry in the blond punk’s voice next to him was slowly rising and Bucky shook his head, ‘Not exactly, only wondering.’
It was a weak lie as he bit the inside of his cheek because the first thought that had followed Steve’s answer was not a pleasant one that was far away from ‘only wondering’. Had Tony been avoiding him? Bucky tried to will away the question, tried to find another explanation. Maybe it had just been a coincidence after all, but then, why hadn’t he tried to talk to him? On the other hand, he hadn’t tried to reach out either.
Bucky’s thoughts paused for a moment, his heart sinking and he shook his head in a vague attempt to rid himself of the lead-like feeling tearing through him. No, he needed to know. Mind more or less made up he pushed himself up from the couch fast enough to almost push the blond off the settee as well.
‘Sorry Stevie, actually I do need something after all. See ya later.’ Bucky didn’t wait for his friend to offer to tag along. He needed to talk with Tony asap, so he took the elevator to the lab. The quick beat of the brunet engineer’s rock music that met his own rapidly beating heart was already weaving through the air before the elevator doors slid open, an unmistakable sign that the man was at work.
Not trusting his resolve to disappear the moment he hesitated, Bucky took a deep breath before gathering all his determination to face Tony as he stepped through the automatic glass doors that slid open immediately. They revealed the man in question standing in the middle of the platform the Iron Man armor was usually standing, the black skin-tight undersuit not hiding anything of the other’s well-defined frame and Bucky found himself staring a bit longer than it might have been appropriate.
A soft whiff was all the warming Bucky got to ditch a shoulder piece of the armor shooting across the room before the plate attached itself right to the lean body that didn’t twitch despite the obviously too hard impact. ‘J? Reduce speed. 2.8 should be enough.’ Tony’s voice was slightly strained, confirming Bucky’s assumption all the more, yet the plates continued to appear seemingly out of nowhere. He watched in awed silence as one part of the armor after the other shoot out and latched on to the other, slowly forming a full suit around him, until the strange dance of metal suddenly stopped halfway through, leaving Tony’s face and right arm completely uncovered.
Bucky found himself swallowing hard at the reverse striptease, his mouth suddenly much dryer than it had been only moments before. In the end, it was a shrill ring of the other’s mobile phone, lying discarded on one of the workbenches, that urged Tony to finally turn around, clearly caught off-guard when he noted Bucky in his workshop. ‘Heya there, snowflake. I didn’t… ack…’ The greeting was cut short by the other almost falling over as he tried to twist himself out of the armor slowly starting to release him again piece by piece.
Without thinking Bucky reached for the still ringing phone that was showing Mrs. Pots’ name, to hand it to the struggling man, but before Tony could take the ringing device, the call ended, and even though Bucky hadn’t meant to look, he still saw the other’s lock screen, showing a picture of him asleep on the grass. He looked different from now, much younger, with shorter hair, no metal arm, but it was unmistakable him.
The phone was snatched out of his hand immediately and Bucky couldn’t stop himself from staring at the other, who was blushing furiously. He should probably have just pretended to not have seen anything at all, but obviously, his verbal filter had short-circuited as much as his mind, since only the most useless of all thoughts slipped past his lips. ‘Am I you lock screen?’
Spoken out loud the question felt even more unnecessary since he knew what he had seen. His eyesight had always been good, but ever since he had gotten turned into a super-soldier it was impeccable, still, he had to voice his surprise if only for himself.
Tony was frantically trying to hurry up, but the offending metal plates were keeping him stuck in place, and after another awkward twist he resigned to his fate that it would take a few more minutes for him to escape, the heavy sigh slipping past his lips, not leaving any doubt about the other’s discomfort. ‘You weren’t supposed to see that... well, to be fair, none was supposed to see that.’
The shorter brunet’s gaze was darting from floor to window and back to the floor, actually anywhere but Bucky, who was still staring at him with wide eyes, silently watching Tony shifting under his gaze. He was struggling to find words, to express the swirling thoughts running through his mind in hyper-speed until they all accumulated in a single ‘Why?’ which was more of a crooked syllable than anything else, but that had to count for something as well, right?
The last plate keeping the other fixed in place fell apart and Tony stepped out of the heap of metal that was surrounding him with another sigh that showed a mixture of a quite prominent embarrassment and tiredness Bucky didn’t like to see on the other’s face. In lieu of an answer, Tony simply lifted his wrist, like it would explain everything. The circle was still glowing in the same familiar blueish hue Bucky had come to associate with Tony. ‘I knew you before we met... heck, way before this whole Avenger thing had started.’
The vague statement left Bucky confused. How was that even possible? The confusion must have shown, because Tony heaved out another sigh, running his left hand through his hair in a futile attempt to push some rebellious strands out of the way. ‘You and Rogers... dreamy-tag-team from back in the days.’ There was a bitter chuckle in the other’s voice Bucky had never heard before, but before he got the chance to ask about it, Tony elaborated with a tired smile.
‘My dad, Howard, the few times he actually told bedtime stories, he would never fail to tell me about the two men he had worked and became friends with during the war. Once started he wouldn’t shut up for the rest of the night, and I soaked it up. I memorized every detail and started to look you up myself.’ There was a blush growing on the other’s cheeks, yet Tony continued, his gaze strictly trained on a spot behind Bucky, an almost fond expression hushing over the other’s face before the tiredness took over again.
‘When I was around twelve, I sneaked into my old man’s storage. I knew he had an album of the old times, that he had shown me once before. I found it, looked through it and that picture fell out.’ he glanced down at the phone in his hand, the smile turning solemn.
‘Howard came back earlier that day, I panicked and stuffed it into my pocket in the hope to glue it back in later without him noticing. Well, obviously I never glued it back in...’ Tony bit his lower lip, not looking at Bucky as his hold on the phone tightened before he continued. ‘I didn’t know why I kept it, only that I would have liked to meet you.’
Bucky didn’t look away from the other, who suddenly seemed much younger for even a second. Like looking away would stop that illusion of seeing a twelve-year-old Tony holding on to that picture with bright eyes that hadn’t known the horrors life would offer. Bucky’s throat was closing up. A thick lump of emotions keeping him from forming words when he saw the other’s longing gaze lingering on the screen, which made him wonder. Was the legend of the soul marks other true? And if so, how many times had Tony looked at the picture over the last thirty years without even knowing why?
‘Since you were presumed dead, I put it down as some weird hero-worship… strange attraction… you call it, but when you walked through the door of the compound I panicked. I didn’t know how to act, because suddenly that guy whose picture I’d been carrying with me for nearly half a century is standing in front of me, all handsome and broody, and what the heck was I supposed to do except panic, especially when said guy causes an ancient magic mark to appear on me and proclaims that I’m his soulmate. I’m a man of science, James. This isn’t science. This is some weird voodoo stuff.’
Tony was wringing his hand in desperation and yeah, ok, Bucky could see the strangeness of the situation altogether. At the same time, it was a relief to see that he wasn’t the only one panicking about the mark or rather the whole soulmate idea and another pressing thought crossed his mind when he saw the other’s struggle. ‘Do you mind?’ the hesitant way the question came out not even starting to cover the insecurity that had been filling Bucky more and more through the past days and he didn’t dare to take as much as another breath when he noted the other freeze on the spot.
Tony looked at him for a long while, or maybe it was just a moment that stretched into eternity before his features softened again. ‘No, I don’t.’ the other’s low timbre voice dropped into a whisper. ‘Truly, I couldn’t mind any less... if that’s fine with you as well?’ Bucky swallowed hard, nodding once. ‘Yeah, I’m fine with that. Very fine. More than fine actually, I mean I...’ he knew he was rambling and his cheeks were starting to burn up when he saw the shorter brunet look at him with a coy smirk that caused his heart rate to spike.
The other’s smile widened and suddenly Bucky was at a loss for what to do, helplessly lost in the other’s tender gaze. He watched Tony reach out for his wrist, cupping it in his hand reverently before bowing down to place a featherlight kiss on the glowing, pulsing mark on Bucky’s prickling skin. He didn’t dare to breathe when he felt the soft lips brush up the inside of his forearm, leaving small butterfly kisses in their wake, before straightening up again. Tony didn’t let go of his wrist as the older man raised his own right hand up, so he could press his lips against his own wrist and Bucky couldn’t tear his gaze away. His heartbeat was almost loud enough to be heard and even if it wouldn’t be heard by the other, he knew Tony could feel it through the mark, the smirk a good proof of that.
Brown, almost black eyes never left Bucky, and combined with the other’s blinding smile there was no way he could have looked away either, so Bucky reached out with his free hand more out of instinct than anything else, belatedly noting, that it was his metal hand cupping the other’s face. He wanted to flinch away but before he got the chance to do so, the shorter brunet quickly placed his hand over Bucky’s while leaning into the ungiving material. His eyes turned impossible wide when he watched how the other placed a gentle kiss on the inside of the silver palm, the gesture causing Bucky’s vision to blur. ‘You don’t have to…’
The smile on Tony’s face never faltered as he glanced up again, his brown eyes simmering with sheer wonder and adoration. ‘And if I want to?’ there was a challenge without heat within the other’s words that Bucky didn’t dare to rise up to, afraid it would cause the moment to crumble. That strange wondrous moment where he could feel his mate, where he was able to reach out and hold on, where nothing but warmth was left in that narrow space still between them.
‘Then you must be crazy.’ The soft shake of his head that accompanied the weak reprimand was met by arched eyebrows and a gentle squeeze of his wrist. ‘Well, I’ve been carrying around a picture of a guy I never met for about thirty years, sooo…’ it clearly had been meant to be a tease and yet Bucky couldn’t stop the guilt welling up. ‘I’m sorry for taking so long.’
The teasing smirk on the other’s lips vanished almost instantly as he straightened up to face Bucky. His lips moving before stopping again, while Tony shook his head as if the original thought had gotten lost in the moment before a new one stepped into its place. ‘Don’t be. I’m glad I got the chance to meet you.’
The other’s words sank into Bucky with an unexpected weight, the way Tony was looking at him, gaze filled with trust and honesty, made it almost impossible to stay. ‘But I… after what I’ve done under Hydra… you couldn’t possibly…’ the words of doubt left him before could stop them and Bucky was about to retreat his hand still resting on Tony’s cheek when the other pulled him closer with a sift chance of his hold.
‘Do not assume what I can or can’t.’ The amber eyes of the other were burning with unknown intensity as they zeroed down on Bucky, whose throat went dry instantly. ‘What they made you do, has nothing to do with the kind of person you are.’ Tony’s hold softened again before a hand came up to brush a few stray strands of hair out of Bucky’s face. ‘You are a good man, James.’
The tender caress continued, nimble fingers running through his hair making it easy to lean into the offered touch despite the strange swell in Bucky’s chest. He wanted to contradict, wanted to tell Tony that there was more than one reason for that statement to be wrong, but it all died down when the other’s voice filled the silence once again. ‘Have you always been this beautiful?’ the half-whispered question caused a furious blush to spread over Bucky’s cheek, his neck all the way down his chest, getting worse as the other leaned in closer until their foreheads were resting against each other. ‘I’m truly glad you’re here.’
The words were nothing but a silent murmur against Bucky’s skin, but they sank in deep into his chest, creating a blossoming warmth that filled his stomach before spreading through his whole body. He had to swallow twice until his trembling lips finally formed words that filled the small space left between them. They were so close that he could feel Tony’s hot breath ghosting over his skin, the sensation sending a pleasant shiver down his spine.
‘So am I’. Bucky leaned in, eyes closing automatically when he felt Tony’s lips that were tasting like coffee. The shorter brunet pulled him closer, the soft sigh escaping Tony revibrating through Bucky, amplifying the joy welling up from the pit of his stomach in a seemingly endless stream as he felt his mate holding on to him and before he knew it Bucky was closing his arms around the other, who slotted in place like it was meant to be. The kiss was sweet and chaste and it was lighting up Bucky’s world. It was like coming come.