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“Hey, Cook,” Zoro said as he entered the galley, “Where’s my snack?”
Sanji scowled as he glanced at him over his shoulder, “What makes you think I have something ready for you?”
Zoro had just finished his afternoon workout, and was just in time for the pre-dinner snack he always made, so he knew he would have something ready for him.
Sure enough, he can see Sanji had already put something in a bowl at the counter. Assuming it was for him, Zoro sat down and grabbed it, only to be disappointed by the spread of green leaves and vegetables.
“Where’s the protein?” He grumbled at the salad. Normally he ate everything Sanji served him without complaint — and was much better at eating his veggies than Luffy — but Sanji should know by now that he needed recovery foods after a tough workout.
Sanji snatched the salad from his hands. “It’s not for you,” he hissed as he put a banana shake in front of him instead, “Here.”
Zoro happily sipped his shake as he eyed the salad. Luffy was the only other person who regularly insisted on a pre-dinner snack, and that was not a Luffy snack, “Who’s it for?”
Sanji blushed at that, which was strange, since preparing food was his job and not something he should be embarrassed by.
“It’s…” he huffed, then grabbed the salad and brought it to the other side of the dining area, “It’s for the snail.”
Zoro turned on his stool, shake in hand, as he watched Sanji, “Huh?”
But sure enough, Sanji placed the bowl in front of the transponder snail. The snail sniffed at it for a bit, then opened its mouth and slowly munched little bites from the leaves, eating at a leisurely pace.
“You feed the transponder snail?” Zoro asked with a raised brow.
“Someone has to,” he shrugged, “And I’m the chef on this ship. It’s my job to make sure everyone is fed healthy, balanced diets so they can perform at their best. Snails included.”
Zoro hadn’t really put much thought into the transponder snail. It had been with them as long as they’d had the Sunny, and aside from the few times they’d sent or received calls, it sat quietly in the corner of the kitchen, eyes closed in stand-by mode.
But it was a living thing too, and technically a part of the crew. Since Sanji spent most of his time in here, it made sense that he’d taken it upon himself to care for it.
Still, “It doesn’t need gourmet salads. It’s probably eating better than half the Grand Line.”
“Well, shows how much you know about snail care,” Sanji crossed his arms in a huff, but Zoro spotted the proud little smile from the off-handed compliment, “Then again, it’s not like you could care for it better.”
Zoro’s brow twitched, “Huh?”
“It takes a certain skill to take care of a transponder snail,” he continued, his smile morphing into a smirk, “A certain dedication and expertise that I’m afraid you simply lack.”
Zoro growled as he slammed his empty cup on the counter, “Are you implying I can’t take care of a dumb snail?”
“More like outright stating,” Sanji chuckled, patting him on the shoulder and kissing his cheek as he passed by him on his way back to the kitchen, “But don’t worry, my poor inept Marimo, I don’t mind caring for the snail.”
Zoro ground his teeth as Sanji grabbed his empty cup and brought it to the sink.
“I’ll show you,” he said, but Sanji was too busy starting his dinner prep to pay him much attention.
With a huff, Zoro stood and left the kitchen, instead making his way to the library.
He had some snail care to research.
It was well into the afternoon when Sanji finished cleaning up after lunch and finally had time to take his smoke break. He stepped outside to light his cigarette, glancing around the grassy deck until he spotted Zoro napping against the railing in the sunlight.
He took his time to saunter over, taking care to make it look like Zoro wasn’t his destination and he just accidentally stumbled upon him out here on the deck where he always was around this time. He leaned against the railing and sent a puff of smoke up towards the sky, then glanced down at his sleeping moss.
His eyes were closed, his shoulders slumped as he relaxed, looking his age for once. Sanji reached down and ran his hand through his hair a few times, a smile slowly spreading across his face.
As he leaned down, he spotted something round and blue near his hip. Curious, he moved to Zoro’s other side and crouched down. It was their transponder snail, eyes closed in stand-by mode, snoring softly alongside Zoro.
The corner of Sanji’s lip twitched into a smile as he reached out to poke the tiny straw hat on its head, “How did you get here?”
“Brought it out here.”
Sanji glanced up as Zoro let out a huge yawn, stretching his arms up and out as he woke up.
“You brought the snail outside,” he said as he brought his cigarette back to his mouth, “to take a nap with it?”
“Yup,” he cracked his neck and opened his eye, “Needs to see the sun every now and then. S’good for it.”
“And you thought napping in the sun with it was a good solution to that?”
“Why not?” He shrugged and scratched the snail’s head, right under its little straw hat, “Nothing better than a sunshine nap out on deck.”
Sanji gave a noncommittal hum as he smoked his cigarette. He may have a point, Zoro was always more relaxed after his own sunshine naps.
“Besides,” his grin grew sharp as he turned back to Sanji, “anyone can feed a transponder snail. It takes a real expert to properly care for one.”
Sanji inhaled sharply, holding the smoke in his lungs as he stood up to his full height, then slowly released it in a steady stream into his face, “Excuse me? What the shit did you just insinuate about me?”
“More like outright state,” Zoro chuckled as he bat the smoke away, then tucked his arms behind his head, “Face it, Curls, I simply know how to care for it better than you.”
Sanji ground his teeth against the filter as he loomed over him, “That shitty moss on your head must be messing with your brain if you think you can take care of anything better than me.”
“Snails do like moss and other lichen,” he said as he settled back, pulling the snail closer to him, “So I guess it would make sense for it to like me more.”
Sanji finished his cigarette in a few angry puffs, ashed the remainder on Zoro’s stupid head, and kicked him in the side for good measure — careful to avoid disturbing the still snoozing snail — before storming off.
He’d show Zoro how to properly take care of their snail.
It was time once again for Zoro’s weekly shower. He’d tried to push it off for another day by claiming he just pulled Chopper out of the ocean yesterday, but Nami had chucked a bar of soap at his head and told him in no uncertain terms that if he didn’t shower right this minute he would owe her a million more berries.
So, grumbling all the way, Zoro made his way up to the Sunny’s bathroom.
When he arrived, he was surprised to find Sanji already there, along with the transponder snail.
“What the hell are you doing?”
Sanji glanced up from the washing stool he was sitting on, where he was soaping up a wet cloth, “What, you’ve never seen a man wash a snail before?”
Zoro rolled his eye as he set his toiletries down on a nearby shelf, “Can’t say that I have. Also Nami’s going to freak out if she finds the snail in the bathroom.”
“As correct as she will be to have concerns about a communications gastropod in the bathroom,” Sanji turned back to the snail, “I’m sure she’d rather me do it here than mess up the deck.”
He was probably right, but Zoro couldn’t let him get away with it that easily, “Aren’t you taking this whole caring for the snail thing too far? Can’t you just admit I’m better at it?”
“Never,” Sanji rubbed the soapy cloth against the snail’s shell, making sure to dig it between the curved indents, “Besides, a clean snail is a healthy and functional snail. Any proper snail caretaker knows that.”
Zoro’s brow twitched as he took off his shirt. Once he tossed it into the corner, he turned the full force of his glare onto Sanji.
But he wasn’t even paying attention, too focused on his task of cleaning the snail’s shell.
The snail seemed perfectly content with it. Sanji had removed all of the wiring bits so they didn’t get wet, and the snail was just relaxing in the stream of water coming from the shower, looking as happy as a snail could look.
Sanji looked pretty happy too, a soft smile on his face as he scrubbed away. He had his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and his pants were getting soaked from the shower spray, but he didn’t seem to mind, going so far to hum to himself as he worked, taking simple joy from caring for something else.
Zoro sighed, then removed his boots, tossing them in the same corner as his shirt as he rolled up his pants and got on his knees on the other side of the snail, “Do you need help?”
Sanij blinked up at him, his wide eyes and the water dripping off his bangs making him look more like a wet kitten than anything.
He never looked better.
“Yeah,” he said softly, handing Zoro the cloth as he leaned down and grabbed a toothbrush, “You can soap while I scrub.”
It was similar enough to their dish routine that they fell into an easy pattern, wiping away the dirt and grime that had accumulated on the snail in a peaceful silence.
And when they were done, the snail did look better. Much cleaner and happier than Zoro had ever seen it.
Not that he’d admit it to Sanji.
When Sanji dried off the snail and brought it back to the kitchen, Zoro returned to his own shower, determined to come up with some way to top Sanji in snail care.
After the rest of the crew was asleep and Brook on his way to the crow’s nest with a thermos of his favorite tea and enough snacks to last the night watch, Sanji finished closing the kitchen and made his way to bed.
As he walked across the deck, he noticed the aquarium door was open. Curious, he silently made his way towards it and peeked inside.
The moonlight shone bright through the windows, refracting across the glass of the aquarium and painting the room in a soft blue glow. Lying there on the couch was Zoro, his eye wide as he glanced around at the fish in the tank, and on his chest — for whatever reason — was the transponder snail.
The receiver was still on its hook, so he clearly wasn’t making a call, Sanji noted as he entered the room. He simply seemed to be watching the fish with the snail.
“What are you doing?”
Zoro glanced up at him, not even startled by his sudden appearance, much to Sanji’s dismay. Instead he gestured at the tank and said, “Showing the snail the fish.”
“You’re what.” Sanij said in the most deadpan tone he could muster.
“We caught a lot of fish this afternoon,” Zoro continued as his eye slid back to the tank, “I thought the snail should see them.”
“Now who’s taking the snail thing too far?” Sanji shook his head, but took a moment to actually look at the snail.
Its eyes were open wide as it stared up at the tank, following some of the fish as they darted around the water, almost like it was in awe. The soft glow painted the snail in shades of blue in such an ethereal way that it looked nothing short of entranced by the scene in front of it.
Zoro himself looked ethereal too, painted in the same blue shades, a soft look on his face as he watched the snail watching the fish.
“It’s always stuck on the ship,” Zoro explained as he reached over and scratched the snail’s head behind the straw hat, “I figured it might want to see more of the world, even if it’s just the fish. What’s wrong with that?”
He glanced up at him, the light making his eye sparkle, and Sanji couldn’t bring himself to look away.
“Nothing,” Sanji admitted softly, finding no fault in Zoro’s logic.
A beat passed, and Sanji sighed as he sat down on the couch near Zoro’s head. Zoro adjusted accordingly, resting his head in Sanji’s lap as he made himself comfortable.
He ran his fingers through Zoro’s hair as he watched the colorful fish swim by. They had come across quite a few schools of tropical fish as they headed into a summer island’s climate, and Sanji was content to watch the colors dance around the tank as they swam around.
“What’s that one?” Zoro asked, pointing at a tiny bright blue and orange one as it darted by him, “The snail wants to know.”
“Well, for the snail’s sake,” Sanji laughed as his eyes followed the fish, “That’s a potter’s angelfish. They mostly live in coral reefs, and eat the algae they find there.”
Zoro hummed thoughtfully, then pointed out a shining blue fish, “And that one?”
“Queen parrotfish,” he said instantly, “Another reef dweller.”
“Must be getting close to an island,” Zoro mused, “If we’re getting reef fish. Can you cook them?”
“I can cook anything, but those guys are too small to get anything substantial from.” A red snapper darted by, chasing after the angelfish, and he gestured at it, “But I can make something with that.”
“Good,” Zoro smiled up at him, wide and happy, making Sanji’s heart skip a beat, “The snail is looking forward to it.”
“As the snail should,” Sanji chuckled as he leaned down and placed a soft kiss on Zoro’s forehead, “It’ll be the best damn thing it's ever tasted.”
They played their little game well into the night, the snail’s eyes never leaving the tank.
When Usopp single handedly (with Zoro and Jinbei’s help) brought in the next haul of fish, Luffy decided it must be feast day.
They had plenty of food to accommodate, so Sanji agreed that they could have a party out on deck. Zoro was in a good enough mood to help set up, and Sanji appeared to be in a good enough mood to reward him for his efforts with a kiss to his cheek and a “What a good Marimo.”
Zoro scowled as Sanji laughed at his red face, but rode the high of the kiss for the rest of the day.
When the meal was set and the festivities were in full swing, Zoro got a sudden idea.
This was a crew party, wasn’t it? And the transponder snail was a part of the crew.
The snail should be here too to celebrate with them.
Task set, he made his way to the galley to fetch it, only to bump into Sanji on his way out, snail already in hand.
“Marimo!” He chuckled nervously, “I was just, uh…”
“Getting the snail?” He raised a brow.
“Maybe,” he scowled, his eyes darting away as an embarrassed flush crossed his face that almost complimented the bright orange of his floral shirt, “The snail is a part of this crew too, and it should celebrate with us.”
He glanced back at Zoro, still blushing a little, but his gaze steady and determined, “Got a problem with that?”
“Nope,” Zoro grinned, “I was here to do the same thing.”
“Shithead,” Sanji huffed, but the small smile on his face showed how pleased he was.
They brought the snail back to the group and placed it between them, taking turns offering it the greenest leaves they would find. It chewed on them methodically, its eyestalks turning to take in the whole crew.
“Is that a good idea?” Franky asked, gesturing at the snail with his fork.
“Of course it's a good idea,” Sanji snarled, placing a protective hand on the snail’s shell.
“Yeah,” Zoro snapped too, leveling Franky with his harshest glare. “The snail works hard for the crew. It should celebrate too.”
“Just saying,” Franky held up his hands defensively, “Seems like a super easy way to trip up and reveal our location.”
“What?” Sanji clutched the snail tighter.
“He would never,” Zoro insisted. The snail was a Straw Hat Pirate after all, just like the rest of them. It would never betray their crew.
“Top Marines always have their black transponder snails on standby to intercept stray signals,” Jinbei pointed out as he scratched his beard, “All it would take is one of us to accidentally knock the receiver off to be swarmed by a battalion.”
Zoro and Sanji glanced at each other, then down at the snail.
After all the time they’d spent with the snail, it didn't seem right to leave it in the kitchen while the rest of them had fun. But was it too dangerous to have around?
A hand sprouted up near the snail, and Robin scratched its chin.
“I think it’ll be fine,” she said, causing both Zoro and Sanji to relax.
Robin was the most cautious among them. If she said it was fine, then it was more than fine.
“Studies have shown happier transponder snails that are pleased with their environment are less likely to have their signals intercepted,” she explained, giving the two of them one of her inscrutable smiles, “I’m sure that's why Zoro and Sanji have been taking such good care of our snail as of late.”
“Of course, Robin!” Sanji gushed immediately, his eyes turning into hearts, “You're so insightful about these things! That's exactly why we've been taking care of it!”
“Yeah,” Zoro nodded, “Of course. We're always looking out for the crew like that.”
“Such good protectors,” Robin laughed lightly, “We can always count on you.”
Zoro and Sanji shared an uneasy laugh, and quickly glanced at each other.
At this point in their relationship, Zoro liked to think he could read Sanji fairly well. His smile strained at the corners, his fingers twitched as if needing a cigarette, and his shoulders tensed like he was ready to bolt at the slightest provocation.
Zoro let out a low chuckle. Bastard had no idea either.
Sanji relaxed slightly at the sound, letting out a little laugh of his own as he put his hand on the snail’s shell.
Not one to pass up an opportunity, Zoro placed his hand on top of his, lacing their fingers together and gently caressing the side of his hand with his thumb.
Sanji beamed at him, and Zoro fell for him all over again.
He grabbed another piece of lettuce for the snail, watching it munch it happily, and basked in the joy of the whole crew being together.