Okay, wow. I'd never really given thought to Ziggy's and chaos's interactions, and this fic shows that I really should.
Ziggy's acceptance of touch, of being poked and prodded because he's nothing more than a weapon, is so distressing. I can't decide which is worse, that he accepted it or that he was made to. (And it puts a terrible spin on his words to MOMO: "I'm behind on my regular maintenance." Reducing himself to a thing to comfort another.)
And his fear of being touched is distressing, too. What an existence, being designed to actively cause injury (he is combat cyborg, after all) and fearing causing injury by accident.
He doesn't just feel pain, he associates himself with it.
chaos is so well done here, so atypical of a human yet so comforting. I get the feeling that even if Ziggy had been allowed to keep his sense of autonomy, chaos's touch would still not have been an invasion. Right now my head's all a jumble trying to define how I feel about chaos's touch, but the word "wanted" keeps floating up. To him we are wanted and appreciated just for being, and so he can get close because we don't think we need to defend ourselves from him.
But he needs to defend us from him.
And I can't help compare the children who are cautious of touching Ziggy's joint, and Ziggy, who's cautious of being touched by chaos's delicate hand, not realizing that hand might be able to crush him utterly.
I wonder how long it took chaos to be gentle.
When chaos holds Ziggy's hand against his cheek, I get a feeling he feels more than surface warmth. Maybe more a sense of Ziggy's spirit.
Oh, terrible thought: Ziggy and chaos talked about the necessity of pain and becoming acclimated to it, and chaos's touch is clearly meant to celebrate, not hurt, but it still causes Ziggy pain. But hopefully this is the sort that leads to healing.
Thank you for writing, you've given me a lot to think about. 💛
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Karen_Hart Sat 18 Oct 2025 10:52AM UTC
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