Comment on Why Don't We Do It In The Road?

  1. mymusingsfromtheheart (Guest) on Chapter 2 Sun 06 Oct 2019 12:24PM UTC

    Such an utterly delightful, fabulous, moving, sensitive, happy new chapter....So beautifully written, so wonderful, so breathtakingly beautiful. So brilliant. This chapter so touched my heart. It was so mesmerizing to read. Such a joy to read.

    I love the fun dynamics with Ned and Dwight, as friends and Ross' band members, love the name of the band Resurgam, loved their bet; everyone around sensing for so long what they dared not admit yet themselves. Love the image/idea of Ross as a former Mod. Love your combination of humorous and sensitive parts. So love the wonderful flow of writing. So love your writing.

    " Ross sat on the floor of the parlor, leaning his head back on the seat of one of the older benches by the windows. Demelza sat on his lap with her head nestled close to his neck. They had tasted every inch of each other and found it good. They had slept in Ross' bed, night after night, since their first night in the Long field and found that good. Ross asked Dem to marry him, and she said yes, which they both found very good indeed" - love this utterly loving portrayal

    Love your portrayal of the wedding and their party, love all the details. Love the 1968s atmosphere, your description of the clothes, Demelza in a fabulous Biba dress (O yes!!), no veil but a rose and a bit of greenery in her hair (so Demelza), the handkerchief with bluebells, the budding love of Verity and Andrew, Demelza's emotions/memories filled with emotions:

    "Demelza nodded, but felt a little strange. She and Ross had slept together a hearty amount but this was the place were they first met and in some ways held more importance as the site of their first night as proper man and wife....(...)...Struck by the emotion of having entered this house as a little waif with Garrick in her arms. It seemed like a million years ago and just yesterday simultaneously. Dem was now a Poldark and the two people who meant the most to her were now her family." - so touching, so beautiful, so sensitive

    " Strewn across the bed was a handful of somewhat dried Nampara cornflowers. "Oh, Ross..." her heart melted at the sight." - and my heart too; such a wonderful detail...

    " She felt Ross' breath on her neck and smoothed her hair to one side to leave her neck clear. He gently pulled the zipper of the dress down, and down, and down her back. The two sides of the dress parted like angel's wings and he felt his heart skip a beat as he pushed the gown down off of her arms and down her hips and legs to the floor." - such beautiful writing and it sparks such fond memories of another familiar dress scene.

    " The morning light slanted across the room through the curtains of the window. Ross lay on his side, watching Dem sleep. She lay on her back, lips slightly apart, her palm facing up with her fingers curled, reminiscent of a seashell by the bright mane of her hair. She woke suddenly, eyes open suddenly, towards the ceiling and then to Ross. He was struck by her gaze. A heavy lidded, direct gaze. She brought her right arm around to let her fingers play about his hair as she stared at him with the look of a hawk or a falcon. He had claimed her at Nampara and she would claim him in London. She curled her arm around his head and drew him in for a kiss. Ross wondered, as she lay him on his back, sheets twisted about her waist, her body rising above him like the masthead of a ghost ship, 'Is it possible to die of pleasure?' Could he lose himself in the sparkle of her eyes until there was no way to return? Was it possible to drown in a sea of red hair? He cried out as she settled herself upon him, he felt the bed cradle his body as she made love to him with a secret smile that made him weak with lust. She claimed her husband, as the bed creaked a steady rhythm and they breathed songs of desire. " - such exquisite, loving, utterly beautiful, poetic writing. Wow!

    "Demelza lay nestled between Ross' legs in the hot water and they found it agreeable to simply rest there. If there was lust, there was also companionship. There was also the knowledge that the other was a friend. They linked the fingers of their left hands under the water. True wed." - Such beautiful writing, such a beautiful image.
    Love your poetic writing of their love (at this stage).

    Such a fabulous chapter! In general I love your attention to detail, I love that you refer to real life events in your story, love all the accompanying notes.

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    1. fairlightscales on Chapter 2 Sun 06 Oct 2019 11:47PM UTC

      Thank you :)

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