I need you to know that tag is perfection. It’s very important to me that y’know that tag made me laugh.
And the actual story? Did not disappoint! I like all the dialogue choices in it were great, all of Roz’s nervous little tics and all the ways the examiner was unnerved by how human Roz is. AND SHE STILL HAS BRIGHTBILL’S FILE??? YES THAT IS WHAT I LOVE!
The only thing here that needs improvement is I think you should break up the second paragraph. I loved what’s in it, but it’s a little hard to read the wall of text. Otherwise, awesome story! Can’t wait for the next chapter!
Somemf (Guest)
on Chapter 1
Mon 14
Oct 202407:44AM UTC
Ty (posted from my guest account cos I'm too lazy too log in). I thought the second paragraph was crazy long, I might cut that down a bit. Also cheers for giving this a read! Keep you eyes on the feed later today, I'll try to post the thing i promised to do in the tags and maybe a second chapter (might be doubtful, I'll see how it goes). See ya!
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NeonLite on Chapter 1 Mon 14 Oct 2024 03:49AM UTC
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Somemf (Guest) on Chapter 1 Mon 14 Oct 2024 07:44AM UTC
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