Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was so easy to fall back into his friendship with Al. In a lot of ways, it wasn’t that different than it had been before the holidays. Just like before, they spent three evenings a week together studying and working on Potions. Just like before, they ate most of their meals together and sat together in class. They talked about their lives, their families, and whatever else came to mind. Except now, when they talked about the future, they included each other in it. There was an understanding that a month from now, a year from now, five years from now even, they would still know each other, still speak to each other. And Scorpius felt more relaxed around Al. He no longer had that little voice in the back of his head admonishing him to be careful, not to trust. It was comfortable, effortless, the way it should have been the last five and half years.

No, the only thing that was a bit tricky was managing his attraction to Al. Not that Al was making this easy. Scorpius didn’t know if it was because Al knew about his sexual preferences now or if it was simply the way he was with friends but it seemed like Al made a lot more jokes and sexual innuendos than he did before. Like the time when they had been working on a particular difficult potion, and had already messed it up twice. As they vanished the contents from the cauldron and prepared to start again, Al had said. “It’s kind of tricky. But that’s okay. I like ‘em nice and hard.”

And then Al had winked at him.

Then there was the time they were trying to wrestle giant Yuay beans out of their pod. Scorpius had been trying to go about it carefully, they were very expensive after all, with little success, when Al stepped in and just ripped the thing in half.

“It’s good to be gentle but every now and then, you have get forceful, you know?” Al had said with a rakish grin. “Sometimes rough is a really good thing.”

Of course, at the time. Scorpius had been too irritated by the fact that they had lost half the beans to Al’s ‘rough’ tactics to pick up on the suggestiveness of the comment. But he thought about it later, alone in his bed, and it made him reach for his cock.

Then there was the touching. A brushing of hands while reaching for a stirring rod, a press of Al’s hard chest against Scorpius’s back while reaching behind him to grab a notebook. When they walked down the halls together, shoulders and hands seemed to knock against each other much more than they used to. Of course it didn’t mean anything. It was just Al being more comfortable around him, not being so careful to avoid touching Scorpius as he had before. And even though Scorpius’s head knew this was true, his body seemed to have trouble distinguishing the difference between friendly carelessness and flirtation. Scorpius hadn’t been so grateful for the cover of school robes since he first hit puberty.

That Wednesday they were working in the lab, Scorpius once again struggling with his insubordinate libido. Al had shown up in that soft green jumper of his, the one that clung to his frame and made his eyes glow and it was everything Scorpius could do not to jump him the second he walked through the door. He just knew that even looking in Al’s direction would make him blush, so he kept his eyes glued to his work, cutting up ingredients in silence.

“Are you okay, Scorp?” Al asked. “You seem tense tonight.”

“I’m fine. Just, you know, focused on the task at hand.”

“You sure?”

“Yep, I’m sure.”

“Okay,” Al said uncertainly, turning back to his own preparations.

A moment later, Al shifted in his seat and stretched his legs out. The movement caused Al’s leg to press lightly against his own and Scorpius had to bite down on his tongue to keep from groaning. The feel of Al’s thigh, warm and long and lean, was impossible to ignore. As the heat of Al’s skin seeped through the fabric to warm Scorpius’s leg, all Scorpius could think about was how that thigh would feel under his hands, under his lips, under his tongue. His cock was starting to thicken and a humiliating blush stole over his cheeks. Fuck, he needed to calm down. The last thing he wanted right now was for Al to notice that an accidental brushing of legs gave Scorpius a hard-on that would last for hours.

He was so wrapped up in trying to control his own reaction that it was several minutes before he realised that Al hadn’t moved his leg. When he dared a glance over, he saw the smallest of grins curving Al’s lips and he realised that this was no accidental brushing of legs. Al knew exactly what he was doing and had for some time.

Scorpius glared at him through narrowed eyes. “Bloody Slytherin.”

Al winked at him. “And don’t you forget it.”

They grinned at each other for a second and then went back to their work, neither one moving their legs.

“So, Scorp, can I ask you something?” Al was sitting on the table, absent-mindedly stirring the contents of the cauldron. It was Friday night and they had been working for almost an hour. Al had seemed jittery much of the time. Scorpius had a feeling he was about to find out why.

“Sure.”

“Without you getting snippy about it?”

Hmmm. That didn’t sound promising. Scorpius set down his knife and turned to face his friend.

“Well, that rather depends on what you have to ask me.”

“Before Christmas hols, that purple cloud thing...”

Scorpius froze. That was what he wanted to talk about? “Yes?”

“That bloke you were… with. Is he your boyfriend?”

“No,” Scorpius replied, his heart speeding up. He willed himself to calm down. Al was just asking about it. It didn’t mean anything. It didn’t. But he was flirting with you, said a little voice in the back of his head. He’s been touching you constantly and flirting with you and now he’s asking about boyfriends. He took a long, slow breath and forced himself to keep his eyes on his work as he answered. “He’s someone I knew a while ago. I haven’t seen him in a couple of years.”

“That’s too bad,” Al said. “He was quite good-looking. Seemed rather talented, too.” From the sound of his voice, Scorpius was certain Al was grinning.

“Yeah, he was.” He could feel a small grin on his own face.

“So do you have a boyfriend?”

Scorpius clamped down hard on the mortifying giddy feeling that rushed through him at the question. He was going to make a fool of himself before this conversation was over, he just knew it. He forced out a derisive laugh. “Right. ‘Cause men all over England are just lining up to date me.”

Al shrugged. “Maybe they would be, if they knew you were interested.”

“I think it’s safer if this secret stays hidden. The last thing I need is to give the general public more reasons to dislike me.”

“I think you’re wrong about that. The wizarding world is a lot more accepting than you’re giving them credit for.”

Scorpius sighed and the frustration he always felt when he thought about the situation deflated him a little. “Maybe on the surface, but I think there’s still a lot of prejudice and ignorance if you dig a bit deeper. Especially where I’m concerned. I somehow doubt all that tolerance and acceptance would be extended to a queer Malfoy.”

“So you’re just going to pretend you’re straight?”

“Yep.”

“Forever?”

“For as long as I have to. Besides, it’s not like it’s any real hardship. Like I said, potential suitors aren’t exactly knocking down my door.”

“Well, for the sake of argument, what if someone was to knock down your door. Would you be interested?” Al asked.

“I don’t know. I suppose it would depend on who was doing the knocking down.”

Al hopped off the table and came to stand right in front of Scorpius. He had that look on his face, that one that was so Al, all earnest and determined and open. Scorpius thought his heart was going to jump right out of his mouth.

“What if it was me?”

Scorpius couldn’t speak. He was quite certain there wasn’t enough oxygen in the room; his chest felt tight.

“Scorpius?” Al’s eyes were searching his face, looking for an answer.

Scorpius desperately wanted to say something sexy and witty but the words caught in his throat. And now Al was stepping closer, his body only inches away. His hands were coming up, gently pushing Scorpius’s hair away from his forehead, his touch feather light, barely there. Al’s fingers were trailing across his jaw, moving down towards his chin. Al’s thumb brushed softly across Scorpius’s bottom lip.

He should say something, do something, but he just froze, just stood there with Al’s hands on his face and Al’s warm breath on his skin. But Al seemed to understand because a small smile curved his lips and he leaned in closer and then Al was kissing him.

Al’s mouth was gentle against Scorpius’s, his lips warm and soft. Al’s hands were cupping his face, holding him so tenderly, so carefully, as if Scorpius was something very precious. Al pulled away slightly and his eyes opened and Scorpius couldn’t remember if he had ever seen the colour green before that moment.

“Scorp.” Al’s voice was low, raspy. “I’ve wanted you for so long. So long, you have no idea.”

The words barely made sense and Scorpius still couldn’t breathe and his heart, Merlin, surely his heart wasn’t meant to beat so fast?

Now Al’s mouth was back on his, this kiss more urgent, and all the thoughts racing through Scorpius’s brain just stopped. The confusion, the surprise, the nervousness, everything just stopped, fell away until there was nothing but Al’s mouth moving against his, Al’s hands on his body, one moving to grip his shoulder, the other on the back of his neck, strong fingers twining in Scorpius’s hair. There was nothing but the warmth of his body, the smell of his skin, the sound of his breath between kisses. Al moved closer still and Scorpius felt something deep within him, something that had been tight and tense and careful for far too long, finally let go. This was right. This was so right.

And now Scorpius was moving too, his body curving into Al’s, his hands coming up to wind in that wild thatch of hair, his lips parting, deepening the kiss, taking as much as giving. It was all hot and wet and good, so fucking good, like breathing after too long underwater, ragged and a bit painful but fuck, it was just everything. Everything. Al moaned softly, the sound almost lost in their kiss, and now Al’s arms were pulling him closer, or was it Scorpius who was pulling Al closer? He couldn’t even tell anymore and it didn’t matter anyway. Nothing mattered except the heat between them and, Merlin, Al’s hands were everywhere, setting Scorpius’s whole body to burning and he lost himself in it.

Scorpius couldn’t say how long they stayed like that, arms wound around each other, bodies pressed close, lips moving in a heated confession of need and longing. All he knew was when they finally broke apart, the contents of the cauldron had boiled away and everything had changed.

The next few weeks passed in a hazy blur of pleasure. Scorpius wanted to keep their relationship a secret; despite Al’s assurances, he wasn’t sure if coming out publicly was such a good idea. He and Al spent as much time together as was possible. They continued to study together and eat together, as they had before. Occasionally, they studied in Ravenclaw Tower or in Al’s dorm room, but most of the time, so as not to raise suspicion, they were in the library or the Potions lab. Of course, they were alone in the Potions lab, the door closed and no one having any reason to come in, so they rarely got any work in there at all.

Being with Al was more amazing than anything had any right to be. When they were together, Scorpius felt as though he would jump out of his skin from excitement but he also felt at peace, as if something that had been out of alignment for a long time had finally fallen back into place. It was easy being with Al and so good. Scorpius wanted to be with him all the time, to have his hands on Al all the time. Everything just made so much more sense when they were together, when he could feel Al’s mouth on his lips, Al’s body pressed against his, Al’s cock in his hand. And if Al’s constant kisses and demanding hands were anything to go by, he felt the same way. Scorpius couldn’t even begin to count the hours they spent lost in each other, in the pleasure they created, in the world that existed only for them.

But they weren’t as careful as they should have been. Moaning Myrtle caught them in the abandoned bathroom one day when they had met between classes for a quick snog and grope.

“She won’t tell anyone,” Al had assured him. “Trust me. My dad told me Myrtle always kept all of his secrets.”

But Scorpius wasn’t so sure. Myrtle had seemed rather put out when they wouldn’t continue their activities once they discovered her watching.

And then there was the time up in the stationery cupboard on the fourth floor. Scorpius had been pressed up against the wall, his trousers around his ankles and Al’s hand firmly around his cock, when he could have sworn he heard the door open and then close again rapidly. Al insisted he didn’t hear anything but he probably wouldn’t have – Scorpius had been panting in his ear rather heavily at the time.

Plus, there was the fact that Al couldn’t seem to stop touching him. He let his hand linger too long on Scorpius’s shoulder when saying hello at the breakfast table. He stood much too close to Scorpius in the halls. And he frequently let his hand rest on Scorpius’s knee or, worse still, ran it up Scorpius’s inner thigh under the cover of the table while they studied in the library. And while Scorpius knew no one could see, he also knew people were watching, that it was only a matter of time until someone commented on the fact that Al sat awfully close to Scorpius, that his hands never seemed to be above the table.

And so perhaps it wasn’t entirely surprising when the rumours started.

“Did you hear about Scorpius Malfoy? He’s gay! I had no idea. Though really, I heard his parents split because his dad had a male lover and you know what they say, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”

“No, really, Genevieve Milton said she saw Scorpius Malfoy and Al Potter out behind Greenhouse Three going at it like rabbits. Said Malfoy had his hands down Potter’s trousers and everything. And I mean, they’re always together.”

“I heard Malfoy was caught giving blowjobs in the empty classroom on the second floor. Apparently he was in there with some fourth year. Can you imagine? So disgusting! Really though, what can you expect from a Malfoy. Deviants, the whole lot of them.”

“Al Potter and Nathaniel Murray made a bet that Al couldn’t get Scorpius to sleep with him before the year was out. I heard if Al loses, he has to give over his Firebolt HP4. You know, the one Quality Quidditch Supplies presented him with for him for his seventeenth birthday. Remember? They sent it over by owl and the package sang a big song and showered him with confetti when he opened it at breakfast? I mean, everyone knows Al’s never cared about brooms but Murray’s always wanted it.”

“Supposedly Malfoy was in Knockturn Alley over the holidays. I heard Lesley Pemberton’s brother saw him coming out of some shady apothecary, looking all shifty. And now all the sudden people are talking about him and Al Potter. I’m telling you, he’s got him under a love potion or a curse or something. There’s just no way Potter would ever be with Malfoy. No way.”

Some of the rumours contained a hint of truth (and well, that one about Greenhouse Three was just plain true) but most of them were total shit and Scorpius did his best to ignore them. And really, it wasn’t that hard – he’d had a lot of practice at ignoring rumours.

It was Monday night, library night, and Al and Scorpius had decided to actually spend it in the library, studying, as they had spent the last four Monday nights up in the abandoned classroom on the fifth floor leaving an impressive pattern of arse prints in the dust on the desktops. No matter how heady the relationship, Scorpius knew Al was serious about getting into the Curse Breaker program and Scorpius needed every mark as high as possible to make up for his unfortunate surname. That said, if Al’s hand managed to find its way into Scorpius’s pants for ten minutes at some point, well, he wouldn’t complain.

He stepped into the library and made his way towards their usual spot in the far corner. He was just about to round the last set of shelves when he heard voices, Al’s and someone else’s. He couldn’t really say why he did it but instead of just stepping out to see who was at their table with Al, he hung back and listened.

“So how are things going with Malfoy anyway? You any closer to sealing the deal?”

Scorpius froze.

“Ah, Nate, wouldn’t you like to know?” Al replied.

“Of course I want to know! Need to know where things stand with our bet. After all, I’ve wanted that broom since the day the owl dropped it your undeserving lap.”

Al laughed at this. “Mmm, yes, I seem to recall you saying something about that a few hundred times. Well, if I have my way, you won’t be getting your hands anywhere near that broom.”

Scorpius heart was suddenly racing. He couldn’t have heard that right. He couldn’t have.

“You’re that confident then?”

“Let’s just say I have a pretty good idea of where things are heading between me and Scorp.”

“Al Potter, you dirty bastard.”

“Hey! If I recall correctly, this was your idea.”

There was more laughter then the conversation turned to other things. Scorpius backed away slowly. It couldn’t be. He had to have heard it wrong. He had to have.

But he hadn’t and he knew it. Plain as day, where anyone could hear them, Al and Nathaniel Murray had been talking about the bet, the one Scorpius had believed was just a rumour, the one he hadn’t given a second thought.

He felt like someone had punched him in the gut. He sagged back against the bookshelf, tried to catch his breath.

Fuck, he had believed him. Believed Al with his stupid, pleading eyes and his apologies and his fucking letters when Scorpius knew better. He knew better! Al was a liar and a schemer and could work a plan better than Salazar himself. Scorpius knew that and he had fallen for it anyway because he wanted it to be true, wanted them to be friends, more than friends. Fuck, he was every bit as pathetic and clingy as Al had accused him of being all those years ago. What was it going to take before he learned, for good, that he could never, never trust Albus Potter?

He felt bile rising in his throat, felt his face flush. He needed to get out of there. Immediately. He groped along the shelf, trying to get a hold, steadying himself as he made his way out of the library.

He didn’t really remember going back to his dorm room and crawling into his bed but that’s where he was an hour later when he heard a knock on his door.

“Scorpius?” Al’s voice came through the heavy door of the dorm room. “You in there?”

Of course. Of course, Al would come looking for him. Had to keep up the image of the devoted boyfriend, after all. Scorpius bit back the hysterical laughter he could feel burning in his throat.

The door cracked open and Al peeked through, his eyes seeking out Scorpius. “Hey. What happened to you? We had a study date in the library tonight.”

Well, no point delaying the inevitable. The sooner this was over, the sooner he could get on with the pathetic joke that was his life. Scorpius got out of bed and walked across the room purposefully. He stopped a few feet from the door, steeled himself for the fight. “Is there something you want to tell me?”

“About what?” Al asked as he stepped into the room.

Scorpius closed the door with a wave of his wand, putting a locking spell on it for good measure. He was in no mood to be interrupted. Al raised his eyebrows at this, a suggestive smile stretching across his face but it faltered when he saw Scorpius’s cold look.

“About us, about why you’re with me. Is there something you want to tell me?”

“About us?”

Al looked so believably perplexed, Scorpius thought the Slytherin had missed his calling. He was clearly meant for the stage.

“I’m giving you the chance to come clean,” he said, impressed at how calm his voice sounded when his insides were jumping unpleasantly.

“Scorp, I have no idea what you’re talking about. Honestly.”

Scorpius felt his irritation rise swiftly, sharp stabs of impatience and annoyance. Why was Al pretending? There was obviously only one thing Scorpius could be talking about. But fine, if he wanted Scorpius to lay it out for him, then he would. He was done with the games. “I went to the library. I saw you there with Murray.”

“And?”

“I heard you, Al. I heard you two talking about your bet. You know the one where you have to give over your broom if you can’t fuck me by the end of the year?”

There. He couldn’t make it much plainer than that.

“What?” Al gaped for a minute and then a look of relief washed over his face and he started to laugh and Scorpius was quite sure he had never wanted to punch anyone more in his whole life. “No, Scorp. No. You’ve got it all wrong.”

Scorpius’s fingers twitched and curled into fists. “No, I don’t think I do. I was standing right there. I heard what you said. You said he wasn’t going to get your broom, that you were confident you could fuck me in the near future.”

“I know,” Al said, the infuriating laugh still in his voice. “I know what I said and what it must have sounded like but Scorp, you misunderstood. Nate knows about us. He’s known for a while I was hung up on you. In fact, it was his idea that I do something about it already. Nate’s a good bloke but he’s dead straight and he still gets uncomfortable talking about the sex bit, you know? It was just his way of asking me about it. We were just joking around.”

“You expect me to believe that?” he spat. He couldn’t believe Al was trying to talk his way out of it! Did he think Scorpius was that stupid? Really, it was almost worse than the bet, Al standing here, still lying, still trying to win.

“It’s the truth.”

“Right. More of your ‘truth’.”

“Look, you can ask Nate about it if you want,” Al said, the laughter now gone, replaced by a defensive tone. “He’ll tell you same thing,”

“Of course he will. He’s your best mate.”

“No, he’ll tell you that because it’s the truth.” Al’s hand was in his hair, that familiar gesture of agitation. “Shit, Scorp. How could you believe that? Do you really think I would do that to you?”

“Why not? Wouldn’t be the first time you’ve fucked me over, now would it?”

“I thought we’d moved past that.”

“And I thought you were done lying.”

“I’m not lying! There isn’t any –”

“Bloody fucking hell,” Scorpius shouted. “Would you just shut up! Just shut up!”

Al looked at him, stunned.

Merlin, he was so sick of this. So sick of Al putting him through this. Even this conversation. Why couldn’t he just admit it so it could be over already? “I know you’re lying. You know you’re lying. Why are you still pretending? Do you think I’m that stupid? Or maybe you think I am so pathetic, so desperate that I’ll go along with your story, let myself be taken in by your clever excuses and earnest little looks? Anything not to lose you, right? Well, fuck you.”

“Scorp, I –”

“No. Just, stop. I don’t want to hear anything you have to say.”

And it was true. There really was nothing left for either of them to say.

He suddenly felt tired. So fucking tired. He just wanted it to be over, all of it, so he could crawl back into his bed and never come out again.

But Al was still talking, still trying to salvage the situation. Scorpius didn’t hear the words. He just watched as Al talked, the expressions that crossed his face, the movement of his hands. It was all pointless. Scorpius wished he would just go away. More than that, he wished he had never known Al at all. “Merlin, I wish I had never met you. You have never done anything but make my life worse.”

Something flashed across Al’s face at those words but Scorpius was too tired to figure out what it was and moreover, he really didn’t care anymore.

“Is that really what you think?” Al’s voice was so soft Scorpius could barely hear it.

“It’s what I know.”

“Then there’s no point in us talking about this any longer.”

“No. In fact, I’d say this conversation should have ended about six and half years ago.”

There was a long pause where Al just looked at him, his expression unreadable. Then he nodded once, slowly. “Right.”

Al made his way towards the door, quietly lifting the locking spell. He left, shutting it behind him. Scorpius stared at the back of the door for a long time but it was just a door. It held no answers, couldn’t explain why he had been so blind or how Al could have done this to him or why he felt so frighteningly numb. Eventually he stopped looking at it and crawled back into bed.

He stayed in bed for two days and then he owled his father that he was coming home. It was something he had never done. In all his time at Hogwarts, no matter what the other students had done to him, he had never called in his father’s promise from the first day at Kings Cross Station. But he did now. Because no matter how ridiculous and childish it was, he just couldn’t face seeing Al. Not knowing that he had been played the whole time, that he’d been falling for Al and Al and his friends must have been talking about it, laughing at him. Scorpius Malfoy, born sucker.

His father didn’t ask him any questions when he Flooed home that night. He simply wrapped Scorpius in a tight hug and then handed him a glass of scotch. Scorpius tossed it back with a grimace, followed by several long moments of coughing. Once he recovered, he saw his father giving him a wry smile.

“Do you want the rest of the bottle or is the one drink enough?” he drawled.

“I think the one was plenty, thanks,” Scorpius replied dryly.

“Do you want to talk about it or leave it until morning?”

“How about we leave it until never?”

His father gave him a pointed look. “Scorpius, you left school in the middle of term. We will have to talk about it at some point.”

Scorpius sighed heavily. “I know. Just not tonight.”

His father nodded. “What would you like to do tonight?”

“If you don’t mind, Dad, I’d just like to go to bed.”

His father’s face immediately fell into its familiar worried frown. Scorpius could draw that expression with his eyes closed. It was that look he always saw on his father’s face in his mind’s eye. He felt a fresh wave of sadness wash over him at the realisation. It was so hard, this life. Sometimes he was surprised they were both still standing.

“If that’s what you want,” his father said carefully.

“It is. I’m just… really tired.”

His father nodded again and Scorpius stood to head up to his room. He was almost out the door when his father called after him.

“Scorpius?”

“Yeah, Dad?”

“Whatever it is, we’ll get you through it.”

Scorpius gave his father a grim smile. He couldn’t think of a single thing to say.

The next morning, Scorpius was still sleeping when there was a knock on his bedroom door and his father entered looking extremely put-out.

“Scorpius, could you tell me why one of the Potter spawn has descended upon my house at half eight in the morning?”

Scorpius struggled to sitting, his limbs heavy and slow with sleep. “Hmmm?”

“Potter spawn. My house. Half eight.”

“Potter?” Scorpius asked, suddenly feeling much more awake. Not Al. Surely even he wouldn’t have the balls to show up like that.

“Yes, Scorpius. Potter. You know, the one in your class, the look-alike.”

Merlin. It was Al.

His father was looking at him, not unkindly for all his sarcasm, expecting an answer. “Do you want to see him or should I send him away? Before you answer, I should warn you, Potters are very persistent. There’s every chance he’ll just come back. They’re like gnomes that way. Or cockroaches.”

“It’s fine. Send him up.”

“Do you want a few minutes to clean up?”

“It hardly matters at this point. Just tell him to come up.”

Scorpius had barely finished brushing his teeth when he heard Al’s tentative knock on the door. Scorpius opened it and motioned Al inside.

He didn’t even let Al start. “You have about thirty seconds before I punch you in the face. Talk fast.”

Al blinked. Scorpius could practically see him adjusting his preplanned speech in his head.

“I have something I want to show you. If it doesn’t convince you I’m telling the truth about what you heard in the library, about my feelings for you, then I’ll leave and I won’t bother you ever again.”

Scorpius sneered. “What? More letters?”

“No. It’s something else.”

“So? Get on with it.”

“Just, wait.” Al shifted from foot to foot, apparently somewhat agitated about the situation. If he had to guess, Scorpius would say Al was nervous. “Let me say something first.”

“Whatever. Just hurry it up.”

Al took a deep breath and nodded. “I was really angry, at first, that you could think that shit about the bet was true, that I would use you like that. I thought it meant maybe this thing between us wasn’t what I thought it was, that you really didn’t know me at all. But then I remembered what you said that day at my house, about the things that happened at the end of first year, how you’ve lived with them since then. You said I didn’t get it and I didn’t then, but I think I do now. What I did, it changed you, how you think about people, about the world. You expect people to fuck you over. Especially the people you care about. Especially me.”

Scorpius rolled his eyes. “Nice armchair analysis, Al. Are you expecting a prize for emotional sensitivity or something?”

Al gave him a look. Scorpius stared back, unaffected.

“I know I can’t undo the last five and half years,” Al continued after a moment. “Or just fix it all just like that. But I thought this might, I don’t know, be a start.”

Al slung his bag off his shoulder and pulled something out. He handed it to Scorpius.

It was a bottle. A small blue, glass bottle exactly like the ones Scorpius had received for Christmas every year since he arrived at Hogwarts.

Scorpius sat heavily on his bed, stunned. He wasn’t sure what he had been expecting but it hadn’t been that.

“They were from you?” he asked, emotions roiling in his gut.

Al sat cautiously beside him. “Just let me explain before you freak out, okay?”

Scorpius nodded. His stomach felt like it was folding in on itself and there was that dreaded stinging sensation behind his eyes. He didn’t know whether they were tears of anger or relief or something else entirely but he was damn sure they weren’t going to fall. Not in front of Al. Not ever.

“Okay, where to start,” Al muttered, glancing around. His eyes landed on the bottle. “I should ask first, do you know what this is?”

Scorpius shook his head, not trusting himself to speak.

“It’s called an Empathetic Conveyance Charm. I’m not surprised you weren’t able to find out what it was all these years – it’s really obscure magic. I only know about it because my Uncle George was experimenting with it for 3W right before we started Hogwarts. He couldn’t get the charm to do what he wanted though, too dependent on –” Al cut himself off. “You know what? Not important. What’s important is what it does.”

Al pulled a book out of his bag and laid it on the bed between them. Advanced Charms for Manipulating Memory. He opened it to a marked page and pushed it towards Scorpius. Sure enough, Empathetic Conveyance Charm was printed across the top of the page in bold letters. Scorpius skimmed the entry as Al continued to talk, letting the familiar act of taking in new information distract him from his churning emotions.

“What it does is it captures the feelings of one person, in this case, me, and translates them, so to speak, into a form that another person, that’s you, can understand.”

“Using my memories,” Scorpius said, finding the passage on the page that matched what Al was saying. “It pulls on my memories, finds things from my experience that match up to your feelings?”

“Right, so if I was angry at you, it would show you a memory of a time you were angry. The memory might not have anything to do with me but it would show you the feeling I meant to convey by finding something in your own life that matches it.”

“Why would you give this to me and not tell me what it was? Not tell me it was from you?”

Al looked distinctly uncomfortable. “Merlin, okay, this part is where I’m kind of a coward. Remember in first year how you were having such a hard time?” Scorpius gave him a scornful look and Al blushed. “Well, of course you do. Obviously. Anyway, I wanted to give you something that would show you how I really felt about you, so you would know you had a friend, no doubts. See, the charm can’t lie. You don’t get to pick and choose which feelings it shows. It takes the whole of what someone feels, the good and the bad, and puts it out there. So you would know I was on your side, one hundred percent.”

It wasn’t lost on Scorpius that Al must have been very clear on his feelings for Scorpius to take the risk of giving him such a revealing present. “And giving it to me anonymously made sense because?”

“Because I chickened out at the last second. I thought you might think it was too girly or that I was too sappy or something. But I still wanted you to have it. So I wrote the note using a Quick Calligraphy Quill to disguise my handwriting, snuck into your dorm room, and left it on your bed.”

“And even after it became clear I didn’t really get what it was?”

Al shrugged. “I figured you’d work it out one day.”

“But I’d have never known they were from you.”

“It didn’t really matter. I just wanted you to know there was someone out there who cared about you.”

“And this year? When you walked into my room and saw it? Why didn’t you say something then?”

“Right,” Al replied sarcastically. “You’ll have to forgive me. I was a bit too shocked at what I saw when I walked in your room to be in any frame of mind to confess then.”

Scorpius bristled at that. “What? Like you haven’t fucked dozens of men before?”

“First of all, no. I told you, those are rumours. I’ve only slept with six people in my whole life, four of them men. Look, I’ve wanted you for a long time, Scorp. The charm must have shown you that, right? But until I walked in on you that day, I had no idea you might be interested in blokes. I was afraid you would bolt if you knew I liked you that way and we had just got back to being friends. So I just kept my mouth shut. And since then, it’s still seemed to the safest course of action.”

Al’s eyes had that look again, that fierce but fragile look, the one that made Scorpius feel like everything was on the line.

“What I feel for you, it’s not small, Scorp. It’s really big and intense and messy and I’m hoping it doesn’t scare you off for good. But you need some truth, something you can believe in no matter what. And that’s what this is.” He gestured towards the bottle, still in Scorpius’s hand. “I was hoping we could watch it together, so we both know, and then you can decide.”

He looked at Scorpius expectantly.

“What, right now?” Scorpius asked.

Al nodded. “If you’re willing.”

And surprisingly, he was. Al was right. He needed some truth and this was something they needed to do together. No more secrets.

Scorpius pulled the stopper. “It takes a minute.”

Al nodded.

The purple mist began to gather and grow in front of them and slowly the first memory took shape. As always, it was the memory of Scorpius and Al by the lake.

“Hey! I remember this,” Al said, a smile on his face. “This is when I fell in the lake! Merlin, that was a fun day.”

They watched together as events unfolded, Al indeed ending up in the lake, Scorpius dragging him out, both of them laughing. Now that he knew what he was looking at, what the charm did, it was very easy for Scorpius to identify the feelings conveyed by this memory.

“This one is friendship,” Scorpius said quietly. “That day was the first time I felt like I really understood what it was to have a friend.”

Fuck, he felt like an idiot. This had been a bad idea, watching this together. He was just going to end up on display for Al, one memory after another, exposed. He looked away, embarrassed.

“Scorpius,” Al said gently. “It was the same for me. This memory is showing my feelings for you, remember? You’re the best friend I’ve ever had.”

Scorpius was saved from responding to this when the memory changed, now showing Scorpius’s father in Diagon Alley, his conflict with the angry man. When it got to the point where the man pushed Scorpius, Al inhaled sharply.

“You don’t have to explain this one. The look on your father’s face says it all. Protectiveness. No one hurts you. No one, no matter what it takes to stop them.”

The memory of the baby birds was back. Strange that it hadn’t been there at Christmas but was there now. “Guilt. Shame. I felt so horrible that day. I knew I had done something so fundamentally wrong, something I could never take back, never make right no matter how badly I wanted to.”

“Like the last five and half years,” Al said softly, and now he was the one looking away.

The scene changed again. It was a new memory, now, one Scorpius had never seen before. He watched as a scene of him and Al fighting played on the purple mist. It was one of their early fights, from the start of second year, when Scorpius felt so angry, so betrayed. He looked at Al wordlessly.

Al just shrugged. “What? I told you I was pissed off you could believe that rumour even for a second.”

The next memory was Al and Scorpius in the Potions lab. Scorpius was stretched out on top of one the tables, his trousers around his knees. Al was kneeling over him, sucking him off with relish. It wasn’t really anything new, it was his memory after all, but seeing it like this, from an outsider’s perspective, was incredibly erotic. Scorpius couldn’t take his eyes off the sight of Al’s wet, pink mouth moving over his cock, Al’s strong fingers wrapped around the base in a tight grip. He watched as Al’s tongue swept up the underside of his erection, as his free hand travelled towards Scorpius’s arse. Fuck, that was hot. Scorpius felt his blood rushing south and he shifted on the bed. He heard Al snicker beside him.

“What?” he asked irritably.

“Nothing.” Al’s tone was far too glib.

“What?”

“Well,” Al began, a smug look on his face. “It’s just that, we haven’t even actually done it yet and I’ve already ousted that other bloke from your memory.”

Scorpius glared at him. “Whatever. You just give good head, is all.”

Al grinned and took Scorpius’s hand in his.

Then the scene shifted again. Now it was Scorpius’s favourite memory, the one of him and his father playing in the garden. He and Al sat quietly together on the bed, holding hands, and watched it play. Scorpius smiled as he saw his younger self tossed in the air before falling back into his father’s waiting arms, saw them stretch out together on the lawn, watching clouds drift overhead, saw himself snuggle against his father’s side, held close, safe, cherished, loved.

Loved.

As soon as he thought the word, he knew it was true. This memory was a memory of love, real love, complex and human and unconditional. The love Al felt for him.

The memory ended and the purple mist began to dissipate. The charm was done. They sat in silence, Al clearly waiting for Scorpius to say something, Scorpius too stunned to speak.

“What was that last one?” Al asked after a moment.

Scorpius hesitated, not sure if he should name it honestly or not. But then, what was the point of it all, if they weren’t going to tell the truth? And Al had to know he felt that way, didn’t he? “Love.”

Al smiled nervously and his fingers twitched a bit in Scorpius’s grip. “I told you, big and intense and messy. And for a long time.”

Since fifth year. That’s when that memory had first appeared. Al had been in love with him since fifth year. Not just missing him, not just attracted to him, but in love with him.

Scorpius felt something stirring in him, something big and deep, something that was sure to overwhelm him, break him down beyond all recovery. He didn’t know whether to run from it or to it. He couldn’t move. He could barely breathe.

Suddenly, inexplicably, Al was frowning, extricating his hand from Scorpius’s.

“You’re freaked out, aren’t you?” Al asked, a note of misery in his voice. “Look, I can go, give you some time to think about things. I just panicked when I heard you had left the school. I wanted to come find you right away, in case you were planning on going away for good. But you don’t have to make a decision right now. I’d completely understand if you –”

“Al,” Scorpius cut him off.

Al closed his eyes and let out a quick, harsh breath. “What?”

“Shut up and get your clothes off.”

Al’s eyes snapped open. “What?”

“Shut up. And get. Your clothes. Off.”

Al grinned and was naked in a flash. Scorpius pulled his own clothes off roughly and then he was pushing Al back onto the bed, climbing on top of him, winding around him, kissing him, touching him. It wasn’t until they were pressed together, skin to skin, Scorpius able to feel every inch of Al’s body beneath his own, that he was finally able to breathe again.

Al’s lips were on Scorpius’s throat, his mouth hot and wet, burning a trail across Scorpius’s skin. Scorpius touched Al everywhere, palms gliding over hard muscles, nails scratching over nipples, fingers gently caressing soft, hidden places. The dips and planes of Al’s body were familiar underneath his hands, but still he felt like he had to discover them all anew. Even though it had only been a few days, it felt like everything had changed and he had to reclaim the territory of Al’s body, make it known again. Make it his again.

Scorpius’s hands gripped Al’s shoulders, pulling him closer. He felt suddenly desperate, like he couldn’t get close enough, like the barrier of air and atoms between them was still too much. He needed Al, needed Al with him and in him, needed to make Al a part of him for good. They had come so close to losing this, so many stupid mistakes, so many misunderstandings. They had lost so much time. It should have always been like this, the two of them together. His fingers dug into Al’s flesh, pulling him closer still.

“I think,” Scorpius said in a muffled voice, his face buried in Al’s shoulder, “that you are quite possibly the stupidest person I’ve ever met.”

Al pulled back to look at him. “Your sweet nothings need some work, Scorp,” he said with a laugh, and bit at Scorpius’s lips.

“You think? I don’t know. It could be worse. I could just stick them in a bottle and send them to you anonymously.”

“Oh, you’re asking for it now,” Al growled and he flipped them over, pinning Scorpius to the bed, stopping his laughter with kisses.

Then Al’s hands were moving on his body, sliding across his ribs, down over his stomach, closing around Scorpius’s hips as he ground down against him. His kisses changed, deepened, and Scorpius felt the need behind them, driving and powerful. How had he ever missed it, Al’s feelings for him? They were right there, in every touch, every kiss, every look. Al’s kisses broke off and his mouth started travelling down Scorpius’s body. Scorpius moaned, his hands winding in Al’s wild hair, and he let himself go, let himself fall down into that place where only he and Al existed, where nothing hurt, where there was only pleasure and heat and desire.

And later, when finally, finally, Al was moving inside him, mumbling words of want and love against Scorpius’s neck, Scorpius closed his eyes and let himself believe them because he knew they were true.

An hour and half later, they were standing by the front door of Scorpius’s house, trying and failing to say goodbye. It should have been a simple enough thing, but they couldn’t seem to let go of each other long enough for Al to get out the door.

“I really should go,” Al said for the fifth time. “I’ve already missed Charms. Rose will have my balls if I miss Arithmancy.”

“Well, we can’t have that, can we? I’m rather partial to your bits,” Scorpius drawled, his hand snaking between them to cup Al’s balls.

Al growled and pulled Scorpius into a rough kiss. Scorpius laughed against his lips before curving his body into Al’s, pressing tight. The kiss had just started to get interesting when they heard a pointed cough from behind them. They broke apart to see Scorpius’s father standing in the entrance hall, a wry look on his face.

“Oh, life’s little ironies. Moments like these, boys, are how we know the universe is paying attention. And has a bad sense of humour.” He turned to face Al. “So, young Potter, am I to take it that we’ll be seeing a lot more of you in the future?”

Al, whose cheeks were pink from embarrassment, gave a sheepish grin. “It’s looking that way, sir.”

“Well, next time, let’s try to remember it is impolite to drop by unannounced, especially before ten, hmmm? I appreciate your enthusiasm but really, very poor manners. I’m sure it’s entirely your father’s fault, somehow, though, so I’ll let it go this time.”

At the mention of Al’s father, Scorpius felt a small flare of panic. Now was not the time for one his father’s ‘why the world would be better off without Harry Potter’ tirades. Best to get Al out of there as quickly as possible. “Yes, yes, Dad, point taken. He’ll come at a much more appropriate hour next time. But Al has to be getting back to school right now, don’t you Al.”

“I do, actually,” Al agreed, sliding his rucksack on. “If you’ll excuse me. So, Scorp, I’ll see you for dinner tonight?”

“Yes , I’ll be there.”

“All right. I’d better get going then. I’m sure Rose has already started huffing indignantly about my absence.”

Al had almost cleared the door and Scorpius was just about to breathe a sigh of relief when his father called out, “One more thing, Albus.”

Al stopped, stepped back into the house. “Yes, Mr Malfoy?”

“You’re not twelve years old anymore,” his father said, his face deadly serious. “If you fuck things up this time, you’ll have to answer to me.”

Scorpius groaned loudly. His bloody father. Fuck.

He turned towards Al, expecting to finding him looking embarrassed or outraged or somehow upset but instead Al was looking steadily at Scorpius’s father, his face just as serious. He nodded firmly. “I wouldn’t expect any different, Mr Malfoy. But you don’t have anything to worry about. I’m not going to mess it up this time.”

“See that you don’t.”

And then Al was out the door and gone. Scorpius closed the door, leaning against it as he glared at his father. “For fuck’s sake!”

But his father brushed off the complaint with a wave of his hand and then Scorpius was the one on the receiving end of a rather pointed look. “A Potter, Scorpius? Really?”

But Scorpius knew his father far too well to be fooled. If he’d really had objections, he’d have made them in front of Al. Scorpius just grinned.

After a beat, his father grinned back. “Well, I suppose I should just be grateful it’s not one of the Longbottom brood.” He laid a hand on Scorpius’s shoulder, pulling him away from the door and steering him in the direction of the dining room. “Now, let’s go have some breakfast. You can tell me all the events that led up to this truly bizarre moment, we’ll figure out exactly how Albus’s father is to blame for the whole mess, and then you’re back to Hogwarts.”

June 27, 2025.

Al,

I know, I’ve been home less than four hours and I’m already writing you but fuck me, you won’t believe the shit I came home to.

You know how we have my usual ‘welcome home’ dinner my first night back and Andromeda, Ted and Daphne usually come? Well, this year, my mother tagged along with Daphne. Seems she had some news she wanted to share. She’s getting married again, some wizard she met in Greece. But that’s not the best part, not by a long shot. The best part is, she expects me to come to the wedding. The fuck, right? She hasn’t so much as owled me in over four years and she thinks I’m going to come watch her marry some bloke I’ve never met? You should have seen my dad’s reaction. You thought he was angry in the Empathetic Conveyance Charm? That was nothing compared to this.

I am going to be so glad when I get to your house in a couple of weeks. It can’t come soon enough.

Scorpius

June 29, 2025.

Al,

I think you might be the best boyfriend in the history of the world. I don’t think I’ll be able to walk for a couple of days, mind you, but Merlin, do I feel better. Remind me to have family crises more often. But also remind me to put up a silencing charm next time. My father’s been alternating between glaring at me and looking traumatised since you left.

By the way, I found the application you oh so subtly left on my dresser. Your father already told me all about the opening in his department for a Potions Specialist, thanks. I’ll tell you the same thing I told him: no one in their right mind is going to hire a Malfoy to work in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, no matter who his letters of reference are from.

Of course, I might consider sending it in anyway if you were to make it worth my while. You’ve got two weeks until I show up on your doorstep. I’m sure you’ll come up with some way to convince me by then.

Scorpius

August 2, 2025.

Al,

Congratulations! I knew you’d get in! I can’t believe you were ever worried about it, with marks like yours. There wasn’t a chance in hell you weren’t going to get accepted.

You’ve probably already heard from your father but I’ve a bit of news of my own. Looks like I’ll be starting as the DMLE’s Potions Specialist next week. Seems I was wrong about your dad’s reference letter, after all. And before you write me some diatribe, yes, I am well aware that I am more than qualified for the job. But you and I both know your dad is the only reason they looked past my last name long enough to see that.

Anyway, I’m stuck at home tonight but I’ll be at your place tomorrow just after supper so we can celebrate properly. Make sure there’s some reason for your dad and sister to be out of the house. I plan on being loud.

Scorpius

August 19, 2025.

Al,

Yes, I was aware of the fact that we’ll both be living in London come September. What’s your point?

Scorpius

September 20, 2025.

Al,

I’m stuck at the office and probably won’t be home in time for dinner tonight. Also, I’m going to stop at the store after work and pick up a few things. I know we’re out of bread and shampoo. If you think of anything else we need, send a reply with the owl.

Hope your classes went well today. I’ll see you when I get home.

Be naked.

Scorpius