Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Hailey watched Jay move around their kitchen, and it almost felt like he'd never left. He still grabbed out the blue mug with a chip on the bottom for his coffee, and he still cracked his eggs right next to the garbage can so he easily could throw the shells out. Letting out a soft sigh, she tried reminding herself this wasn't a dream. He was really there in their kitchen making breakfast. However, telling herself this was real life just reinforced that he would eventually leave again. Breakfast in their kitchen wasn't forever. Leave of absence wasn't forever. Bolivia was going to sneak up soon enough.

Staring at Jay dropping pieces of sausage into the pan of their scrambled eggs, Hailey took a deep breath then grabbed her phone. Before Jay left months before, they had barely gotten any time to say goodbye. This time needed to be different.

By the time Jay had placed a plate of scrambled eggs in front of her, Hailey was finished with her email and sliding her phone away from her.

"Everything good?" Jay asked, settling onto the bar stool next to her.

"Yes," Hailey replied with a smile, "I just took off work for the next two weeks."

It was clear Jay was happy at her statement, but he still asked, "Yeah?"

"Yeah, I want to spend as much time as I possibly can with you," she replied softly, "If we're celebrating the Twelve Days of Christmas, then I'm not wasting a second at my job. I have the days to burn anyways."

Jay's smile widened, and he leaned over to kiss her cheek. "Thank you," he said, "I was kind of worried about spending all this time alone here."

"Well, you're not alone," Hailey said, setting her right hand on his left, "Not for the next couple weeks and certainly not ever." She brushed her thumb over his wedding ring and breathed, "You taught me that. Always with me, right?"

Smiling, Jay nodded and said, "Right. We'll figure this all out."

Hailey shook her head and corrected him: "We are figuring it out. Every day, we're getting better."

"Yeah," Jay breathed, "We really are."

Hailey closed the distance between the two of them then whispered, "What're our plans for today?"

"You make Christmas cookies yet?" Jay said against her lips.

"Are you asking for sweets?" Hailey teased as she sat back in her seat.

Jay laughed and said, "I'm asking for traditions and stability."

Hailey smiled and set her hand on his cheek. "Then you're lucky I haven't made any cookies yet. Though, I'll admit, I would have definitely still said yes to making cookies with you even if I already made some."

Chuckling, Jay kissed her cheek before turning back to his breakfast. "Then eat up, babe, we need our energy for a day of baking. I refuse to leave this apartment until we have at least a hundred cookies in our freezer."

"One hundred?" Hailey asked.

"Yup," Jay answered through a mouthful of eggs, "Gonna go all out. We have a lot of ground to cover, Upton, we-"

"Halstead."

Jay hummed and glanced over at her.

"No, not you," Hailey said softly, "Me. I…I'm Halstead."

Jay set his fork down and asked, "What?"

Hailey nodded and said, "I wasn't decorating for Christmas, but I was figuring out the social security system. I was hoping to surprise you once it was all settled. I'm still waiting for my new license."

Jay blinked then said, "Are you serious? You changed your last name? Even after what I did?"

Hailey breathed in slowly before explaining, "Not after what you did: after we talked the other day, after our anniversary. I realized how much I love you and how, like you said, the distance is temporary. We're not really tattoo people, but we're us people, right? I wanted a permanent reminder of you, so I changed my name. I think I'll keep Upton at work, but the bank and my license and the lease…all of it will be Halstead. Promise."

Jay slowly shook his head in disbelief. He let out a soft breath then pulled her in his arms. "You're amazing," he whispered, "I love you."

Hailey smiled and buried her face in his chest. "I love you too," she murmured, "Forever."

"And always," Jay replied with a kiss to her temple.

Together, they stayed wrapped in each other's arms there at the kitchen island with their eggs growing cold between them until Hailey's stomach grumbled and they were broken apart. Jay was laughing softly to himself as he returned to his breakfast, but Hailey knew it wasn't just at the noises her body was making. It was because he was happy - overly happy - and she couldn't blame him: she felt the exact same way.

Flour covered the counters. Milk was puddled on the ground. Sugar coated Hailey's fingers.

And she'd never been happier.

"Try this," she said through a laugh as she held out a small piece of peanut butter dough to Jay.

He looked up from rolling out a small piece of dough and chuckled. "Hailey, that's like-"

She slipped the dough in his mouth and whispered, "Oops."

Jay swallowed the dough then smirked. "Rude," he said.

"It's delicious, though," Hailey laughed. She dropped a couple more peanut butter balls into her bowl of sugar and added, "These are so simple. Way easier than yours."

Turning back to his Italian S cookies, Jay said, "But mine will be absolutely delicious."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Hailey said, turning to place her hands on her hips, "Are you insulting my cookies, sir?"

"Sir?" Jay asked.

"Or, sorry," Hailey said, "Is it sergeant now? Boss? Hot stuff?"

Jay scoffed and set his dough down. Wiping his hands on the apron Hailey had thrown at him earlier, he said, "Technically, it's commanding officer."

"Oo la la," Hailey said softly. She stepped forward and set her hands on his waist. "I'm married to a commanding officer."

"And I'm married to Chicago's top detective," Jay replied. He leaned down to kiss her then said, "Also, I was not insulting your cookies. I'm sure your cookies are delicious. Mine will just be…more delicious. They have icing."

"Icing, how fancy," Hailey laughed. Reaching up, she lightly brushed her fingers against his cheek, getting flecks of sugar on his skin where his barely there beard had once been. She tilted her head to the side to stare at him - more muscular than when he'd left, a little leaner in his face, and with a light in his eyes. She hadn't seen that fire inside him in months - not because he'd physically been gone, but because he mentally hadn't been present even when he was here. Maybe he still wasn't back to his old self, and maybe he still had trouble seeing the big picture, but he was on his way to being Jay again, and she couldn't wait for that to happen.

Pushing up on her toes, she kissed his cheek where the sugar had stuck then hummed against his skin and whispered, "I love you, but this cookie competition is officially on."

Jay laughed, kissed her own cheek, and said, "All right, Detective Halstead, let's go."

Laughing with him, Hailey lightly pushed his chest before returning to her tray of cookies. She happily rolled out her dough all while singing along to the Christmas record playing in the background. Occasionally, Jay teasingly bumped into her, but she simply smiled and tossed sugar at him. He retaliated with powdered sugar until she screamed that she was going to get stuck to the floor because of how sticky she was. It bought her five seconds to lunge at the sink and spray him with the hose.

Within minutes, their kitchen was destroyed and some of their dough seemed questionable, but the majority of it managed to survive and the white chocolate cranberry cookies they'd first made together that morning were untouched to Jay's relief. Hailey couldn't stop laughing either. True joy was bubbling inside her like some babbling brook, and it was easily matched on Jay's own face. It was the best feeling she'd had in months.

Jay was home and back to making messes in their kitchen. She might have had something to do with it this time, but that just meant she was going to help him clean it all up in the end. They were going to work as a team.

To make their one hundred cookies.

To clean all the various sugar from the kitchen.

To become better people.

Hailey was overjoyed to be living in this absolute dream of reality. She could smile again without feeling guilty. She could be herself.

Hailey Anne Halstead. Chicago's top detective.

At least…according to her husband.

When the sun went down and Hailey stopped sweating from the excess sugar and butter coursing through her veins from all the raw and baked cookies she'd had that day, she managed to fall on the couch with a groan. Covering her face, she mumbled, "I feel so disgusting."

"Maybe baking a hundred cookies wasn't our best idea," Jay said softly while kneeling next to her. He smiled when she uncovered her face then lightly dabbed at her forehead with a cool washcloth.

"Maybe not," Hailey sighed and closed her eyes, "I kind of want to barf."

"Grabbed the trash can for you if it happens," Jay said before pressing a light kiss to her forehead.

She hummed her thanks then set her hands on her stomach to slowly breathe in an attempt to settle the twisting happening in her gut.

Jay lightly dragged his fingers through her hair as he watched her relax on the couch. They really had managed to make one hundred cookies; it hadn't been as hard as they'd expected, but it did make for a long day. It just also meant that they'd eaten a lot of junk food in place of something nutritious like fruit or deep dish.

Hailey smiled to herself. She planned on taking Jay out for pizza sometime during his leave of absence; it seemed very necessary. Opening her eyes and turning her head to face him, her smile widened at the gentle expression on his face as he attempted to soothe away the silly, self-inflicted pain she was in and all thoughts of pizza left her head. Instead, she imagined him doing this exact same thing when she eventually had morning sickness. It brought a different kind of butterflies to her stomach.

But that wasn't something she wanted to bring up right now. Not when Jay hadn't even been home for two days and she was battling one of the worst stomachaches of her life. That was a conversation for another day of their Christmas celebration.