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Chapter 1

Captain’s log, Stardate 6958.1

My team and I have returned to Number V to rest and recharge after an unsuccessful first mission to Lunaria, to locate and if necessary, rescue Admiral Edmund Bridgerton, Ambassador Eloise Bridgerton and their crew. We found the USS Serenity with major damage and comms systems down in a deserted area of the planet, with no sign of the crew. We spent 18 days looking for them while getting to know the locals, most of them reluctant to share their history and suspicions of unknown visitors like us. The only useful information we learned is that a neighboring planet’s space pirates, the Solarians, have been attacking their planet, and that the attacks have become more frequent recently. There’s reason to believe they are responsible for the damage to the Serenity, but we are unsure if the crew was captured by them or the Lunarians.

Captain's Log, supplemental.

I have been injured in a Solarian attack just before returning to our ship, attempting to save a local woman.

“From a medical perspective, there is nothing technically wrong with you,” the ship’s doctor assured him, yet he was skeptical. What was he supposed to do with these emotions that started to plague him, emotions he had learned to suppress, he mastered avoidance of over the years? There was no logical explanation for what he felt: a burning desire to go back to find her, protect her at all costs, to jump out of this spaceship into the void of space if that meant he could save her again, ensure her safety. He couldn’t know for sure, but somehow he did; he felt it. That she was still alive, calling his name, even if she didn’t know his, even if he didn’t know hers. He was consumed by illogical feelings. Feelings he tried to choke down. Emotions he failed to shield his thoughts from.

Unsuccessfully.

He was being irrational. Feeling this much for someone he just met was illogical. His mind was unable to comprehend it. This much of it. This overwhelming feeling, it hadn’t happened in a while, not since… And not half as intense as he felt it now. He was sure he must be going mad.

“You’ve been off your suppressants for almost two weeks, Colin. Once you’re back on them, things should calm down. Even though Vulcans can suppress emotions with meditation, your body got used to the numbing effect of these double dose suppressants you’ve been taking these past years. It’s normal - well, it is expected - that you have been having quite severe symptoms and signs of withdrawal ever since you ran out of them during the mission. Such a sudden discontinuation would disorient anyone. It will take some time to get back to your old emotional control. I know it’s not what you want to hear, but keep meditating and using the mind-calming techniques you learned.”

“But I am concerned my emotions may impact my judgement in the meantime. You know even better than me, it’s not like we have none, but we’ve learned to suppress them; to compartmentalize, to push down experiencing them. These feelings are different. More. More human,” he added, with concern in his voice, a shadow of worry in his eyes. “I need to know what to do with them. I ask you, as my doctor.”

“Well, I guess you’ll just have to learn to live with them. Like we all do,” he responded with sympathy, and a glint of genuine concern. When did Benedict become so wise?

When Anthony assigned his other older brother as the Chief Medical Officer to this mission, Colin had doubts. Lots of them.

Benedict Bridgerton, second son to the retired legendary Admiral Edmund Bridgerton, took the rebellious route and embraced his human side instead of the Vulcan one, going through a very different journey of self discovery to any (half-)Vulcan.

He spent years dazed and mesmerized by the human body, adoring it in both artistic and real life form. He enjoyed observing and drawing the intricate lines and curves, the way muscles flexed and relaxed. He then researched the inner workings, exploring the impacts of pleasure and pain, the delicate balance between a body being controlled or acting in surrender. His openness to new experiences let him test and study the limits of the human and non-human body, and to everyone’s surprise, landed him in the medical field. His curiosity, his own experiences, his unusual approach to solve any problem focusing on healing both body and mind, made him an outstanding doctor. Colin wasn’t concerned about his medical background being a fit for this mission. He was, however, concerned about Benedict being his older brother serving under his captaincy and leadership. But Ben, so far, has been nothing but supportive. Colin had been waiting for the moment this would change, when Ben’s embraced human side would come out. And instead, here he was, grappling with the fact that the unknown, unpredictable variant in this mission was now none other than himself.

“My team counts on me to make the right decisions. What if I am not able to do that? What if I am no longer fit for duty because of my emotions?”

On a normal day, Colin would have no doubt. He would simply recount the logical reasons why he was best fitted to run this mission. He had completed the necessary Starfleet training, he had superior skills in tactical and close-combat fighting, sometimes even defeating his own security officer during training runs. He, as a half-Vulcan, had possessed much stronger instincts when compared to humans; he could see and hear better, and was capable of surviving for long durations without food or sleep. He was the ranking officer and a relative, and therefore the rational choice to lead this mission with the highest motivation and chance for success to find his father, Eloise, and their crew and take them home in safety. He became a master of casting away all his emotions and could always choose not to let those reactions influence the decisions he made.

Until he met her. And he felt his control slip away; he could barely contain feelings he thought long-gone or to be non-existent. And his actions -plans so far only put in motion in his mind- looked like a mad man’s. So, it was the sensible thing to feel…worried. Conflicted. Guilty. Because he now had not one, but two missions.

“Remember what Father once said.” Ben looked at his younger brother, his friend, and his Captain, lifting his head up, the expression on his face filled with purpose and encouragement. He reminded Colin of their father so much with that look on his face. “I dare you to do better. You are capable of deciding your own destiny. The question is, which path will you choose?” Then he added, full of certainty in his voice, “You can do this Colin; you can save our father and Eloise!”

“Thank you, Ben.” Colin responded in a low voice, determination reappearing in his eyes.

“Rest up and you’ll feel much better. I know us Vulcans can be without sleep for much longer than humans, but it was an intense two weeks, and you’ll need your energy for what’s to come. Let me heal this other cut on your chin and then I’ll let you go.”

“No,” he protested, smoothing his thumb over the cut wound under the right side of his chin. “It’s just a small cut. It will be fine, leave it.”

“It could scar.” Ben looked at him questioningly, but gave it up seeing the persistent look on his face. “Alright.”

“I am going to return to my quarters, then. And meditate.” Colin turned around and was halfway to the door when Ben called after him.

“And Colin-”

“Yes?”

“Don’t forget your suppressants! They will help you get back to your old self.” His brother threw a little box of pills at him. “There are better ones out there now, but these are the exact same ones you’ve been taking. They seemed to work well for you, and I didn’t want to get you started on something unfamiliar, not when the stakes are so high.”

“Looks like at least one of us completed a mission successfully. These are hard to come by. Even I couldn’t get enough on such short notice.” Colin looked at his brother contemplating.

“The mission needs our Captain in his best shape, doesn’t it?” Ben raised an eyebrow at him.

“So you got me unlicensed, black market suppressants at the edge of Federation space, while we are on a rescue mission and could be attacked any time by space pirates?”

“You forgot the ion storm…but, yes…It was only logical, wasn't it?” he gave Colin a knowing look.

“Indeed. I appreciate your candor, and your resourcefulness, Doc.”

“Always at your service, Captain!” Ben nodded goodbye.

----------------

He was staring at the bottle of pills on his nightstand, remembering the first time he took them. He got them on the black market in Free Haven, one of the biggest hubs for smugglers, pirates, and other outlaws. It was twice as strong as anyone could get their hands on. But how could he not. It was a promise. A fix. A solution. It was only logical. Eradicate every lingering feeling of hurt he already pushed down, every questioning thought that clouded his mind.

It was a promise to help forget. To forget what he was. Just a (half-)human. To forget what he felt. Betrayal. To forget how he felt. Lacking, defective, a fool. To forget the path he meticulously planned. Marriage, kids, serving Starfleet, becoming an Admiral, retiring with honor. Living a life with purpose and meaning, serving his family and the better good. Just like his father.

But all that was left was the pain he wasn’t supposed to feel. The disappointment in himself for not being Vulcan enough, and proving exactly so by drowning himself in this self-wallowing. His teachers would take back his diploma in shame if they knew how he failed to learn the ways of their Vulcan teachings. So it wasn’t a question anymore. Things had to change. He had to change. To be able to forget Marina. To become fully Vulcan, not that it would change her decision to sever their bond that linked them since childhood to be mates later on, as usual per Vulcan traditions. She made her choice. If he was honest, he couldn’t blame her. He was half-human; society, however loved his father was, had always judged their family even when six of the eight siblings ended up serving Starfleet, including him. The other two becoming teachers at the Science Academy, sharpening the minds of future Vulcans. His entire family served Vulcan and yet, he wasn’t good enough.

Ever since his childhood, he was the one with the most human side, his mom kept telling him. The one who felt the most, who laughed and made his siblings laugh while being their court jester. The one who was attuned to his human side and therefore to everyone’s wellbeing in the family - only second to his mom, of course - while their father was out on long missions. His mom was the one who always encouraged him to be true to himself, whatever that meant for him. She was the one who supported him in exploring his human emotions, his desire to travel and discover the wonders of the world through his own experiences. She was the one who taught him to always chase his dreams. That’s how he ended up in Starfleet, after all.

Growing up, he embraced being more human in secret, despite his mom’s encouragement, because he didn’t want to be the weird kid. They already stuck out as half-humans. But at home, where he could be mostly himself, he often played mind games with himself, switching his emotions on and off to see what that meant to him. He spent hours, days, years arguing with his siblings, especially with Anthony and Eloise, that there was equal space for emotions and logic in the world. That it was ok to feel sad when their dad left, to miss him and be overjoyed when he safely returned. That not everything had to be logical, that the world was more than zeros and ones, black and white, right or wrong. He was wrong.

He took the pill.

A chirping sound rattled him. It was a report he had requested on the Solarian spaceships.

“Bridgerton to bridge, report.”

“Captain, a Solarian scout ship warped to the other side of the planet. They must be surveying, planning another attack,” the familiar sound of his youngest sister Hyacinth “Hy-wire” Bridgeton’s voice summarized the report. He couldn’t imagine a better Communications Officer than Hyacinth, who graduated at the top of her class and was eager to go on her first mission. At least he could keep an eye on her.

“Permission to speak, Captain.”

“What’s up Hy?”

“I’d love to join the landing party this time, I think I can be of value. I can analyze communication patterns on the surface to gather intelligence about the Solarians, and also establish and maintain communication with Starfleet Command in case we need backup, should things… escalate without having to come back to the ship.” Her official tone changed to a lower, more personal, pleading one, as she continued. “Please, Colin, I'll behave! I'll even follow your orders, I promise!”

He was thinking about the implications of bringing her along when she added “If you let me come, I'll never tell anyone about that time you-”

“Alright, I’ll take it under consideration, thank you Ensign,” he cut her short before she could say another word. Anyone could overhear her if she was on the bridge.

Having his siblings join and report to him on this mission had its own challenges; most of them had to do with the fact that they grew up together and, Hy specifically, knew where all his metaphorical skeletons in the closet were hidden. She always found a way to get the information she needed. A useful life skill indeed. She also made a good point; her skills were beneficial to the mission and things could escalate-he calculated a 79% chance now that a Solarian ship was back-and then they would need backup or at least the ability to let Command know what was happening. He had to avoid ending up in radio silence. Another starship going off comms like Serenity could cause unnecessary alarm, even panic at the Federation. And he wasn't going to be the cause of a galactic overreaction. Though there was a 26% chance for that with their current trajectory.

“Thanks, Col.”

“Keep me updated about any changes to the Solarian ship’s status. And get ready, we’ll debrief in 15 minutes. Let Michaela and Greg know they are coming too.”

“Yes, Captain,” she added all officially but he could see the wide grin on her face in front of his eyes when she whispered, “You’re my favorite brother for a reason.” Colin chuckled, shaking his head.

“Bridgerton out.”

Captain’s personal log, Stardate 6958.27

The weight of the mission is heavy on my heart. Now more than ever, because my thoughts are mingled with visions of her and my duty to this crew, to this mission to find my sister, my father, and his entire crew.

The expectations from Anthony were clear, it’s a find and rescue mission. And he expects nothing less than for me to deliver. I know he called in a lot of favors to get me this ship, this crew, to get Starfleet Command to not outright reject my captaincy, my leadership.

I don’t know how he still has faith in me after I’ve basically disappeared. Marina’s rejection should not have made me spiral so much. And in hindsight, it wasn’t even that. It was how my whole life was planned out, every step clear as crystal; as soon as the first one faltered, my whole world view shifted. If that was not who I am, then what am I? Do I just replace that one step, or do I need to rebuild the whole path now that it’s not walkable. And I got lost, stepping into the void it created. Instead of going on my next mission, I asked for an extended leave and galavanted around the universe, trying to find myself by flying cargo ships, mingling with all sorts of species from different walks of life, doing various cargo runs. I was dancing on a fine line, close enough to still be in touch with my family occasionally, but just out of Starfleet jurisdiction. That’s how I learned about the blue suppressants. That’s how I met Michaela. Two Starfleet officers “taking an extended leave” looking for meaning. If one believed in fate, they would say it was meant to be.

If my time away bore only one fruit, it was meeting Michaela. Our friendship evolved over time as she “saved my ass”-as she likes to put it-more times than I can count, though I saved hers too in return. We make a good team, our combined skills have proven remarkably effective during our adventures. That is why my only request to Anthony was to let her be my Number One.

And he made it happen. That is how much he believes in me. Not that he missed the opportunity to remind me that he thinks I spent the past few years “aimlessly wasting my life”. His words, however true, hurt and burnt into my memory. “You’re out there giving yourself the biggest pity party because Marina didn’t think you were enough?! Get your ass back here and prove it to yourself, and anyone else doubting that you are more than that, Colin! You are a Starfleet Officer, a great Captain, and an exemplary leader if you ask me. You can do better. Now go find Dad and Eloise and figure out what the hell is going on on Lunaria!”

We lost contact with Dad’s ship over a month ago while they were on a diplomacy mission in the Omega quadrant. We found the ship on Lunaria, with major damage, comms system down, but were unable to locate them on the planet after spending over 2 weeks on the surface. The chance of finding them alive and unharmed is slipping with every day and that still worries me.

The fact that I feel these feelings, and…others too, so intensely, so viscerally, makes me question how emotionally compromised I might already be. But if Ben is right, these suppressants will bring me back to my old self. The question is, which version of me is best suited to find her, and which one is best to find them…

Heavy silence filled the room again. His mind weighed variants and scenarios, computed chances of success and potential outcomes, but none of them provided him the right answer. Not the one he wanted to hear.

Another chirp and Hyacinth’s voice broke the silence.

“Captain, the Solarian ship just warped away.”

“Thank you, Ensign. Meet me in the briefing room, notify Michaela and Greg too.”

“We’ll be ready, sir.”

---------------------

The briefing went the usual way. Michaela and Colin discussed their overall strategy first, then the tactical details. Blending in, staying under the radar, unlike he did last time playing hero. Michaela had to point out that Colin was a liability if someone recognized him, but he assured them he was going to keep a low profile. And he meant it, unless…

Hyacinth was tasked to get ready for any and all comms surveillance scenarios and was allowed to try the “Hy-wire” techniques of “extracting information” from the locals. She could use her youth, her wit, her charm, her (projected) innocence to collect information that otherwise would be hard to come by. Her sharp mind could carefully note any subtle hints or inconsistencies and bring valuable intelligence to help solve the crew’s whereabouts, reveal the reason for the Solarian attacks and even more of the Lunarian history to help better understand the currently delicate and volatile situation. They tried and failed for 18 days straight; he was ready to unleash Hyacinth if that brought any progress.

Serenity’s mission was to explore diplomatic relationships with Lunaria and the surrounding planets to join the Federation but communications have been lost even before they were due to send their first report. Colin was on his way back to Vulcan as soon as Anthony got the news and told him he is going to send him after them if they don’t hear back from the ship in a day.

He was bringing Greg along again; he knew the area well by now and strengthened their physical power. The three of them with Michaela had advanced combat training, which he thought might be beneficial after his run in with the Solarians. It also helped to have another eye on Hyacinth and that Greg, “The Rogue One”, could get them out of there in anything that flies, just in case, or, if Colin had to stay back for some reason, like last time. The ion storm in the region rendered their transporters useless for now, so they could not teleport and had to use their shuttle to get to the ground.

“I hope you’re not about to repeat history,” Michaela warned him, sticking around after Hy and Greg were released to get a good night's sleep before their early morning mission. “I hope that scarf was worth it and your mom will cherish it because you almost died getting it for her.”

“Maybe I should not lead with that when I give it to her.”

“You probably should not. What were you thinking, shopping around in potential enemy territory?!”

“You know I like unique gifts. I thought it would be nice to get her something since we spent so much time here, and the market was the perfect place to find something unique for her.”

“Remind me never to go shopping with you. Somehow you attract the most unique gifts of the universe. Like a full blown Solarian attack.”

“Don’t worry, Number One, I’m done with all my shopping.”

“Good, now go get some sleep.”

“You too, see you in the morning for round two.”

As soon as Colin got to his quarters, he took a shower, trying to clean his mind and his body of everything that happened these past few weeks. But when he got in his bed and closed his eyes, he was transported back to the market that was full of life, it buzzed with an intoxicating energy, attacking all his sensations. He could see the colorful stalls, brimming with silky soft fabrics in all colors of the rainbow, the smell of freshly washed clothes on the left. He could taste the enticing flavors on his tongue while delicious aromas tickled his nostrils from the right, thick billowing fog and smoke coming from the fire his new favorite foods were cooked on. People were everywhere, talking, haggling, kids singing and jumping around, their shoes clacking on the stone pavement.

And then he smelled it again.

That distinct smell that was lingering around for a week now, driving him…mad? He decided the team should camp around the market-arguing there’s an abundance of information in such places-and he spent the entire week collecting intel as much as he could, while secretly trying to find its source, unsuccessfully.

He sent his crew ahead to return to their shuttle with the excuse to buy something for his mom quickly. Which wasn’t a lie, and a good excuse to wander around. But he also wanted, no, he needed to stay behind for a little bit more, without his team’s prying eyes, accepting the fact that this was his last chance before he had to say goodbye to that scent, likely for good.

He closed his eyes and inhaled deep, giving in with his whole body for the first time. A wave of tingles washed over his whole being. He instantly relaxed from the traces of dry chamomile, felt refreshed by a hint of petrichor, the earthy smell of rain drops reviving the dry soil. A subtle note of warm stone enveloped his heart, and for the first time, a very faint, almost hidden sweetness-like a hint of baked pear with a touch of cinnamon-hit him, and made him hum.

He had to sit down for a moment, focus all his senses and he felt the scent intensify when panic hit the market like a tsunami. His eyes snapped open to see fabrics flying in the air in the distance, dishes, pots and pans and other goods sold at the market landing and crashing loudly on the stone, quickened footsteps approaching from the left, people shouting, kids screaming… when a small colorful blur flashed and disappeared in front of him, a devilishly yellow silk head scarf flying in his face before he could see who it belonged to. But his realization was instant, it smelled exactly…

He had to find its owner. As he jumped up to run after…her, two angry Solarians who seemed to be chasing her crashed into him with brute force. They cursed-he deduced the sounds they made were no compliments-but paid no heed to him and ran off after their prey without hesitation.

He filled his lungs with the scent from the scarf and…ran. His legs carried him almost on instinct, after her, finding a shortcut through the stalls, jumping over baskets, sliding through tables, spilling containers of food, weaving through people like fish in the water, mumbling excuses as he wrecked his own havoc behind him. He occasionally stopped to smell the air, using his mind and all his senses to focus on one thing and one thing only. Her.

A waft of fear in the air let him know he was closing in on the scent and he made a sharp turn to follow it to a dark alley. His leg caught on something, and he ended up tumbling to the ground, a small but powerful force landing on him.

His right arm stuck between her kneeling legs, her left knee resting on his shoulder, pushing in on his neck making it hard to breathe, a small, sharp dagger held tight against his chin, piercing his skin. He was helpless and breathless but not just because she had him pinned down. He could finally associate a face to the magical creature that haunted him in his dreams for the past week and she was…perfect. Tiny and soft and fierce and mesmerizingly beautiful.

“You’re not a Solarian. Why were you chasing me?!” she demanded breathlessly, her chest heaving heavily just like his after the chase; her breath caught for a second as their eyes met for the first time. Confusion appeared on her pretty face, and she looked taken aback as she took him in too.

“I just wanted to help,” he said earnestly, choking back a cough, but she still hadn’t loosened her grip on him.

“I don’t need saving, thank you! I can take care of myself.”

“I can clearly see that now. Quite impressed, actually.”

“Flattery won’t get you out of this, you know that, right?”

“Flattery is definitely not my preferred communication style, however, telling the truth is.”

“I believe the best miracles come from the truth!” she agreed surprisingly. Like he found a key to unlock her first reserves.

“It seems we found a common ground,” he stated matter of factly. Her eyes softened as her thoughts escaped somewhere for a second, but she firmed up again in a blink.

“That still doesn’t guarantee your release,” she added sharply.

“Who said I want to get out of this?” It was the truth. He enjoyed her company way too much to end this sweet torture too soon. Now that he finally found her, he needed more time. He had so many questions, his eyes searching her face, while memorizing her features religiously.

“It doesn’t seem to be practical. Staying like this,” she clarified. “Who likes being threatened and overpowered?”

“What if I like a good challenge?”

“Me too, but you’re not really delivering your part so far.”

“My parts are exactly where I want them to be.”

“I doubt that,” she scoffed, adorably.

“You’re right, they are exactly where I want them to be right now. Can’t say they will stay like that for long though.”

“You’re too optimistic.”

“I just know how to calculate my chances.”

“Still no chance of letting you go…” she leaned in to push in on his shoulder and neck to make her point.

“Indeed, the more I talk the less my chances are, it seems,” he added in a low whisper, gasping for a bigger intake of air.

“It’s the opposite actually. Talk and I’ll consider loosening my grip. What are you doing on Lunaria? Half-Vulcans are not a typical sight here.” His eyes shot up to hers; she knew exactly what he was. Maybe she encountered other half-Vulcans. He had to pry.

“Not your first run in with us?” Colin tried to keep his tone even, to not sound so eager and desperate.

“I am asking the questions. What gave you the illusion you have a turn?” Her eyes lit up in defiance; she was feisty and determined, and nothing turned a Vulcan on more than a worthy opponent in a word-fight, a clash of intelligence, reason and wit. He was in awe and could smell her self-confidence blooming into something more.

“Just delivering my part, as you asked.”

“We could keep playing this game but it would be illogical, wouldn’t it? If you’re here for me, it doesn’t matter what I say. If you’re not, we should get going before the Solarians find us.”

“There’s an us now?”

“I thought Vulcans are highly intelligent and can focus on the important information among the noise.”

“Your point being?” He felt like a mischievous kid again, enjoying teasing her. His human side was taking over and he just… let it…

“I thought Vulcans didn’t know how to flirt?”

“Vulcans seem to occupy a lot of your thoughts it seems.”

“It’s called annoyance.”

“I’d say infatuation is more likely based on the evidence.”

“Don’t flatter yourself. My mind is pretty occupied with much more important problems.” Her sweetening scent was now laced through with a hint of worry. A new, more potent fragrance emerged, the spiciness of cinnamon and pear; he could feel her fierce love for her planet and her people. How could he understand her so deeply from something so airy and fleeting?

“Why are the Solarians chasing you?” He was curious-why was she targeted specifically?

“Maybe they also thought I needed saving.” That was a joke, wasn’t it? She bit back the tiniest smile forming in the corner of her mouth. He, however, was unsuccessful at the same. Why did he find this so attractive? She made him smile. Her whole being was so captivating, so intense and he wanted to get drunk on her essence.

“How do I know you’re not working for them?” she continued.

“You don’t. But I can assure you, if I wanted to hurt you, I would have done so already.”

“Says the one pinned down helplessly, close to being choked or having his throat cut.”

“Maybe I like this more than I should,” he confessed again. He was telling the truth, after all.

Her cheeks were still burning red from the chase but Colin could swear she blushed a little more. As the sun hit her hair from behind it was glowing in a beautiful golden color, her cerulean blue eyes sparkled in the shadows of her angelic face. He tried to relax his body to show her he was harmless, but couldn’t help to notice his own arousal painfully stretching against his pants. The chase, her scent, this whole exchange was…fascinating, energizing, electric.

She was exactly as he imagined but also nothing like it. She surprised him, made him curiouser and curiouser with every word that fell from her pretty lips and all the hidden messages released through her scent. He wanted to decipher them, explore her, get to know all of her. He was aching for a bond of mind and body. With her.

And that’s when her eyes wandered and she must have seen it too. She paused momentarily, her lips parted as she inhaled, her tongue slipping out briefly to wet her pink lips. Her sweetness intensified, the chamomile bloomed further and became more floral, the scent of damp earth after a gentle rain made his fingers tingle to touch her, a tinge of copper seemed to appear in her hair for a split second…but he made the mistake to blink and it was all gone. The fragrance, the copper halo, that indescribable look on her face. He must have imagined it in his dazed state. She was still cutting off some of the oxygen with her knee on his neck and it was time to show her he meant what he said.

Using her distracted state, and their significant weight, height and strength difference, his free left hand grabbed her right hand holding the dagger and hooked his right hand under her knee and lifted, rolling them over. He ended up straddling her, her hands pinned down next to her face on both sides. She whimpered and bucked her hips up, straining her wrists to push him off. If this was her attempt at trying to escape, maybe she wasn’t really trying to?

“I am not going to hurt you. I’ll let you go if you promise to behave.”

“I don’t make promises I can’t-or won’t-keep.” Stormy blue eyes pierced through his, daringly. Honesty. Colin had to commend her for that. As he inhaled, her warm stone notes became sun-baked clay, her hair bathing in that copper glow again, heating his whole body further.

“Fair enough. Can we start with you not stabbing me if I let your hands go?” She smirked, and raised an eyebrow at him, but as the smell of sweet, comforting honey emerged from her, all he could think about was how she smelled like a delicious dessert he wanted to devour. He leaned closer, feeling her breath on his skin, hypnotized by her lips. He was just a breath away, almost overtaken by his urge to kiss her.

And then…

…she licked his chin?! Letting her wet lips glide slowly through what he realized must be a small cut from her dagger, by the sharp tinge he just felt, that escalated to a jolt running all the way down to his already strained pants, making him twitch.

“Says the one with something stabbing at me at this very moment and I don’t remember you promising to behave either. How about I let you find out if this is your lucky day by letting you live.”

The moment she said that, he realized this scenario was not one he should be in, even if she decided to stab him. He let her go immediately and stood up fast, embarrassed.

“I am really sorry. I don’t know what has gotten into me. That was very inappropriate.”

Her grip loosened on the handle of the dagger while she propped herself up to her elbows, clearly not planning on attacking him.

As he stabilized his heartbeat, his racing mind, and other parts of his body too, he realized her scent hadn't changed to scared or frightened around him, not once, which struck him with surprise again.

She wasn’t afraid of him.

“We have a Lunarian saying here: it takes two to dance.” She raised an eyebrow at him, almost sympathetically. But he didn't miss her glancing at his bulge for a fleeting second.

Colin’s tensed expression relaxed and he offered his hand to help pull her up but she was on her feet in a second.

She clearly was not a Princess in distress who needed saving.

“It looks good on you.”

“What looks good on me?” He glanced down at his outfit, a black leather jacket, shirt and pants.

“Being so disturbed by someone half your size.”

Colin finally had a chance to take in all of her. She was petite, with a body of a Vulcan goddess in her teal blue curve hugging outfit and brown lapel over her shoulder. Her dress had golden accents, drawing his eyes to her curvy hips and waist, hugged by a delicate belt housing her dagger scabbard, and her decolletage, adorned with a lace pattern meeting in a deep V shape over her gorgeous breasts.

“Extreme feminine beauty is always disturbing.”

“Are all Vulcans so flirty or is it your human side?”

“Does it really matter?”

“Just curious.”

“We have that in common, too. Are all Lunarians so captivating?”

“I like to believe I am one of a kind,” she said, cocking her head up high. He knew she was, from the very first moment they met. He somehow knew it even before that.

Colin waited until she met his gaze.

“That you are, there’s no doubt.”

He made her blush, there was no doubt about that either; the copper glow was back for a flash of a second with a tinge of spicy cinnamon.

“Alright, Starry Eyes, we need to get going. I need to get back to the Pal-to my place. And you… you need to get back to…yours.”

“Let me go with you.”

“I told you I can take care of myself.”

“But what if the Solarians are still after you?”

“I outran them once, didn’t I?”

“You got lucky I found you first.”

“Yes, I did, didn’t I?” she blinked up, almost shyly, at him but was gone in a second, peeking out from the alley, leaving a trace of honey, laced with sadness behind.

“Come on, I think we should take our leave now.”

He wasn’t ready to let go of her yet…

But just as suddenly as she’d burst into his life, she vanished into thin air again so effortlessly. Leaving behind nothing but silent chaos in his heart this time.

“Wait, I don’t even know your name!” he shouted after her, baffled, and impressed how those tiny feet took her so far in such a short time.

He couldn’t just let her leave like that, he had to make sure she made it home safely.

So, for the second time today, he was chasing this woman like a madman.

And he smiled.

After all, he was chasing his dream.

Chapter Text

Chapter 2

But just as suddenly as she’d burst into his life, she vanished into thin air again so effortlessly. Leaving behind nothing but silent chaos in his heart this time.

“Wait, I don’t even know your name!” he shouted after her, baffled, and impressed how those tiny feet took her so far in such a short time.

He couldn’t just let her leave like that, he had to make sure she made it home safely.

So, for the second time today, he was chasing this woman like a madman.

And he smiled.

After all, he was chasing his dream.

--------

She was expertly maneuvering between the stalls this time, causing minimal disturbance, making it more challenging to see her path and catch up to her, but her scent was everywhere now. He latched onto it with every fiber of his being, an invisible string leading him like in those fairy tales his mom used to tell him when he was little.

When he lost her for a second among the endless stalls of spices she was weaving through–she was a crafty little one disappearing like that–he took her scarf out of his jacket's inner pocket and inhaled her scent again, trying to focus on just hers.

Loud screaming disturbed the calm buzz of the market again, and he immediately knew where he needed to go. His feet could not take him fast enough, his heart was beating faster already aching of the thought of anything happening to her. How was it possible that he just met her but already could not imagine his life without her?

He found her in another little alley, fighting two Solarians at the same time. A blond one on the ground with a bloody nose, the other with a fresh cut on his chin already had a hold of her from behind, restraining her by her shoulders; she slid down from his grasp flexing her arms wide, and as soon as she was on the ground she swirled around and kicked him at his groin, then at his jaw as he hunched over from the pain. He stumbled to the floor, groaning.

The blond Solarian jumped to pin her down on the ground, the way he did earlier, straddling her, pinning her hands to her sides. Colin felt ashamed just at the thought of it. She looked so tiny under her attacker’s big frame. He was almost there to help her out when he saw her plant her heels and bridge her hips high, making the Solarian lose balance and letting her hands go to stop himself from face planting to the ground. With a smooth motion she yanked his right arm down by his elbow with both of hers, while trapping his right leg with her ankle, immobilizing that side of him so she could roll them over to the side with one fell swoop. He was on his back, and she landed kneeling between his legs now, smashing him in the groin, chucking his feet to the side, escaping again. And Colin was speechless…she could have escaped him… He gave her an appreciative head nod as their eyes met for a split second.

He was right beside her by now fighting off “Scar”, as he named the second attacker, who just got ready to launch at her again. Colin leaned away just enough to miss his right hook, to hit him hard with his own, following a punch to his gut and then rendering him unconscious with the Vulcan nerve pinch. He was planning to tie him down to get information out of him as soon as he dealt with the other attacker.

He turned around to find where she was, and saw the blond Solarian was after her again. Colin yanked him by his shoulders. As he swirled around the light flickered on something sharp. Colin jumped back to move away from the knife swinging his way, blocking his second blow coming from above trying to stab him again. He held onto his right wrist with his left hand, and moved to tuck his right shoulder under the extended arm holding the knife. As he turned his back to the attacker’s chest he pulled and threw him over his shoulder to the ground, applying the nerve pinch again.

He looked around for her immediately, an alarming scent reaching him, only to find her hunched, on the ground, in pain.

“Tell me what you feel, where does it hurt?” He was scanning her face, her body and was utterly worried. Even more so because he couldn’t identify where her injury was, so he suspected something internal he couldn’t see.

“I wish you weren’t always right, you know?” She tried to add some levity with humor but he could see she was far from feeling good enough to continue their banter.

“We need to leave. It’s not safe here.” And with that he gently wrapped his arms around her and placed a featherlight kiss on her forehead. “All will be well. I’ll make sure of it.” Then he picked up her tiny body in his arms and disappeared in the alley, checking rigorously at each turn he took that they were leaving both the Solarians and any other curious creatures behind.

In two minutes they were at an abandoned stall in a quiet corner of the market. During their time on the planet, he and his team scouted out a few “safe houses” around the area - locations they could hide at in case of emergencies like this. They only had to use them once before when they suspected someone was following them. This wasn’t the most secluded one, but the closest to where they were. He needed to assess her status as soon as possible.

He carefully placed her down on the ground on top of a few rugs that were left behind in the corner, having her sit up, her back to the wall. He kneeled next to her, brushing the back of his hands against her forehead, her cheek and her neck. She was burning up but was shivering. She looked weak and drowsy, not even the shadow of her fiery, kick-ass self from just minutes before. He took off his coat and draped it over her. He was screaming inside, furious at himself for not getting to her faster, to allow this to happen.

Ever since he first smelled her scent he was drawn to her inexplicably, a strange need awoke in him to possess whatever the origin of that scent was. As soon as he saw her, that need transformed to a chest-tightening urge to not just have her, but to protect her too. And he failed at protecting what seemed to be the most precious thing in his life right now.

“Hey, my feisty little warrior,“ he tried to wake her with a soft voice, trying to keep worry out of it not to scare her with his own estimation of how bad her state was.

“You can do better than that.” She blinked up at him, hooded eyes dulled by exhaustion and pain.

“Better than you? I doubt that.” That made her smile. But her distress was palpable. Her body, her scent, her whole being silently wailed at Colin and all he wanted to do is take her pain so he could bear it instead.

“Do I even know you?” she asked. He hoped she wasn’t getting delirious. “You have a beautiful heart,” she continued. Maybe she was, indeed, delirious.

“You’re about to get to know me better, T'hy'la. I want to try something we call mind melding on Vulcan. If you let me.” He held her face in both his hands, making her look up at him as he resumed explaining it. “It’s a form of telepathy, allowing us to share thoughts and feelings. I know you are in pain; let me ease yours, let me share this burden with you. I promise I am not going to pry and will only focus on helping you feel better, ok? You don’t have to share anything else you don’t want to. Do you understand what I am saying?”

She nodded.

“Good. Will you let me mind meld with you with the sole purpose to comfort you and help you heal?”

She nodded again. “I need you to say it, little one.”

“Yes,” she answered almost instantly.

He brushed his left palm holding her cheek to the side of the back of her neck to keep her head still. She rubbed against it as her eyes closed, letting out a soft whimper. He thought maybe the coolness of his hand felt good upon her heated skin. Darkened patches of crimson red appeared, scattering her white creamy skin, most likely from the fever invading her body. He rubbed his palm and his fingers gently against her neck and her collarbones to calm and soothe her before he slipped his hand to hold the back of her neck again.

He then delicately placed his right thumb just below the right corner of her lip, his index finger against her cheek, splaying the rest across her temple. He had to take a big breath and calm and clear his own mind from his own feelings that overwhelmed him, thinking about how she was so willing to bond with him so intimately. She was in pain, but he knew there was more to it. He hasn’t done mind melding in such a shielded way before but he was determined and confident enough in his skills to make it work for her.

He closed his eyes as he whispered “My mind for your mind, my thoughts to your thoughts, T'hy'la."

Blue eyes swimming in tears appeared in front of him. As soon as they slowly closed to hide the redness and pain, he was transported to the steps of what seemed like a living-breathing library. He could feel the energy coursing through it, tree branches and green vines stretched over the tallest bookcases he’s ever seen, leaves danced by the gentle breeze sweeping through as light cascaded down and flickered through them. The air felt heavy, yet fresh from the wealth of knowledge organized neatly on the endless shelves. A book wiggled out of its stack, flying towards him. He put his palms out and it landed in his hands, opening to a page about…poisons. A tinge in his arm started spreading like blood coursing through his veins. It burnt as it spread, yet he suddenly felt cold, and started to shiver. Pictures of iced over trees, snowy landscapes flooded his mind, some he knew from his own memories, some were new that he had never seen before. The next vision was an iced over river, it must have frozen over instantly as each ripple and wave was prominent. A pinkish red glow appeared over it as a sudden chill took over his whole body, pain and discomfort spreading with it. She was trying to show him how she felt.

Being from a desert planet, he struggled to regulate his body's temperature in the freezing conditions and was extremely sensitive to it. So it was natural that he was fighting against this weird, uncomfortable feeling before, but now that he understood what it meant, he let it consume every inch of him, hoping to draw it away from her. The bitterness of the cold shocked his body. As an unconscious reaction, his thoughts filled with memories immersing into the hot springs near their house on the freezing desert nights Vulcan was known for, letting his shivering body slowly heat up, the ripples washing away the tension as he descended, his mind releasing the pain with the steam evaporating to the thin, fresh air. A vision of her, bathing in the golden sunset with long, fiery red hair hugging her form, gently floating around in the hot breeze of the night emerged as a response. Then, all of a sudden, a warm hug was squeezing his chest gradually, their joint fear and desperation lifting off, lightness and hope replacing it.

Colin was overwhelmed by her closeness, the intimacy of their bond impacting him in more ways than he could ever anticipate it, barely able to control the confinements he established so carefully. His desire to share more about himself was eclipsed by his craving to learn more about her. But he could not betray her trust. This was about her, her needs and her only.

As if holding back like this was not hard enough, her scent started blossoming, mingling in with new notes…his. He was so far gone in his fantasy, he created his own scent bond with her out of thin air. Her honey merged with his cardamom, creating a warm and comforting sweetness he felt all over on his tongue, while adding bergamot to her damp, fertile earthy tones refreshed and reinvigorated their scent making it physically arousing. The worn-in leather added a grounding, sensual depth as he tried to restrain himself again. Their combination was heady, complex, and intoxicating. His impulse to give in was almost all consuming.

And then…the sky bursted in purples and golds. In the Lunarian moon’s first light, right at sunset, a meteor shower lit up the sky followed by memories of the most magical meteor shower he experienced when he was 12, flourishing before their eyes. Mesmerized by their beauty, his young and curious mind made a vow to follow them one day, finding their beginnings and the destinations they seemed so intent on reaching.

And from there on, he followed her lead. She showed him her favorite spots on Lunaria, and he matched them one by one from his travels. A moment in awe standing on the shores of a bioluminescent beach at night, for one full of shells glowing in the moonlight. The sight of one rare, magical creature in the woods for another. Rainbows that continued in the ocean waves for never ending pathways in rainbow colors. He shared his favorite libraries he came across in the universe for those she likely encountered in Lunaria. They had a shared fascination with books, libraries, learning and writing that created an even stronger, invisible bond; just like the feeling of their unyielding love for their family, their people, their planet and serving the greater good. He had learned nothing about her, yet he felt he knew everything.

Then all of a sudden, their shapeless conversation of mingling memories started to falter, feeling her slipping away. It had been less than a minute since they got lost in each other, in that suspended reality and it was tempting to try to keep her there, but her giving up meant she needed him even more now. As he was saying goodbye, gently untying their tangled mind, fragments of her memories emerged…about him, flickering just as darkness set in.

Finally, he was back; he checked her temperature which seemed to drop significantly, but she was still running hot. The mind meld helped but he wasn’t sure for how long. She could barely open her eyes to murmur an almost inaudible “Hi, Starry eyes”.

“Hi, my T'hy'la. You did great. I am going to check for signs of poisoning.” He pushed the long sleeves of her top up on her arms to see if her clues were right. Both of her wrists had pinkish red patches on the inside, but one seemed darker, with a purple-blue tint to it, a small puncture wound appeared upon closer inspection. That must have been the location of the poisoning.

Without hesitation, he was about to close his lips on her wrist to try to suck it out. His first instinct was to do something, anything, but she quickly pulled her hand away. “What are you doing?!” she exclaimed.

Was he thinking clearly?

No.

Would he be able to suck out all the poison and help her at all?

Not likely.

Would it expose him to whatever poison she had?

Definitely.

Did he care?

Not at all. Though he should have.

Having half-Vulcan physiology often made him feel invincible, even if he wasn’t. Vulcans were amongst the strongest species, had superior senses, and their training also gave them amazing recuperative abilities, allowing them to control their bodies to repair internal or structural damage at an accelerated rate while in a self-induced hypnosis.

Why can’t he get his body to heal hers somehow?

“Col-!? I mean Cap!” They both jolted at the voice coming from behind them.

“Greg? What the hell are you doing here?”

“You’re alive!”

“Obviously!”

“When you didn’t come after us we assumed something happened and started looking for you in the safe houses. I am so glad I found you!”

“Do you have a medipack? Tricorder and hypospray?”

“Yes, I have both. Here!” He reached into his backpack and gave Colin what he asked for.

“Thanks, exactly what I needed!” He had never been so glad to find his little brother disobeying his order to wait patiently in the shuttle for him.

“Who is she, and what the hell happened?”

“Later, Greg!”

“She’s really pretty, I get why you got distracted. She looks like a tiny Princess!”

“Greg, this is not helping.”

“Wait, did you do this to her?”

“Greg!”

“Ok, but Colin-”

“She’s been poisoned. Unfortunately the tricorder can’t recognize the type, it’s not in our database. I am giving her a wide spectrum antidote to–

“Colin!”

“Greg not now!” he raised his voice, giving his little brother a stern look. Why did he insist on annoying him right now? He had something more important to focus on. He turned back towards her, softening his tone to an encouraging whisper. “I really hope this helps! Can you promise me you will keep fighting this as fiercely as I know you can?”

She nodded, then asked “Why do I see two of you?” clearly confused.

“I know this isn’t the best time to mention-” Greg tried to catch his attention again.

“For the logic of all Vulcans, why can’t this wait?”

“You two, step away from her!” An unfamiliar voice commanded.

“- that I might have been followed…” Greg whispered.

“Next time you should lead with that!” Colin mumbled under his nose in frustration, standing up with his hands up to show he meant no harm. Greg followed his lead, doing the same.

“You are under arrest!” The Lunarian guard pointed his gun at them. Colin and his team knew their uniforms by now, and their tendency to keep an eye on the market. They must have heard about the Solarians chasing someone and the fight and were doing their due diligence rounds.

“Look, we mean no harm.” But the moment Colin said that, Greg gave him the signal. They had a few choreographed scenarios ready for situations when they might get captured, though he much rather would have preferred to talk this out, knowing he didn’t do anything wrong, at least not to his knowledge.

But it was too late, the plan was set in motion, Greg being the distraction, forcing Colin to move in, taking the gun from the guard while Greg circled behind to apply their Vulcan nerve pinch he taught him, rendering the guard unconscious for a few minutes.

“Why did you-”

“There might be more coming, Col! We have to leave!”

“I can’t leave her here!”

“You did the best you could do! You can’t exactly carry her to our shuttle in her state. That would be kidnapping. We Bridgertons don't do that kind of thing, right?! You and I both know her best chance is for her people to find and cure her if the hypospray doesn’t work.”

Since when was his brother the voice of reason instead of him? And he was also…right?!

“We have to go, NOW, Col!”

“Alright, go check the door, I’ll be there in a sec!” He rushed to her side, kneeling down, taking his final few glances at her. Her fever broke, her temperature subsided, he could feel it on her skin as he gave her neck and collarbone a gentle caress while placing a lingering kiss on her forehead. She was asleep but still leaned into his touch unconsciously. His heart ached having to leave her behind like that. He tucked her in snugly with his jacket.

“Col we really have to go now, I can hear the guards closing in and this one, the one I took out, will wake up any second now.”

He gently stroked her cheeks once more, his thumb brushing against her soft lower lip.

And then he was gone.

-----------

Colin woke up a mess to the sound of his alarm, disoriented. Realization slowly dawned on him that he was back on Number V, in his bed, hot, sweaty, aroused, clutching at a yellow scarf instead of her.

A moment ago she was in his arms, her back tugged tightly to his chest, her perked nipple piercing the middle of his palm. He was drunk on her scent, his noze nuzzled in her curls splayed on the pillow, his lips sucking, kissing, biting her neck while his hips moved in languid waves burying himself in her warmth from behind, sinfully enjoying sliding in and out of her as she moaned and whimpered at every thrust, gently bucking her hips to meet every one of them.

Colin’s eyes stayed close for a second more, making sure to commit that dream to his memory.

He rose from his bed to have a shower, with the intent to cool off…but instead, he took care of himself while shamefully thinking about having her there with him. The only reason he was willing to let that picture go now was the possibility of meeting her again. And for that, he had to leave this ship.

He got dressed and fought to get some food in his body. His thoughts were in chaos after all the things that happened yesterday and he needed to sort things out before they left for Lunaria again.

Captain’s personal log, Stardate 6959.41

I had a dream about her, again. Just like every day since I first smelled her scent. It was different, more intimate. I knew her face now. I know her now.

I still can’t grapple with how I felt on Lunaria…it was something else entirely. It was primal, instinctive, maddening, something I've never experienced before. It's confusing. Disturbing, even. I hadn't taken my suppressants in weeks, and I know that was affecting me, but this felt… new. Somehow inevitable. It’s like there is a pull I cannot explain, it’s not rational at all, and it's directed at someone I barely know and yet that mind meld said otherwise, like we belonged…

I panicked when I felt her slipping away, I wanted to show her everything. I wanted to show her who I really was. I never felt safe doing that with anyone, not my true, naked self in the raw, the unaltered image, a far cry from the mask that I had to–chose to–put on. I wanted her to know me, to accept me. She said I have a beautiful heart and I wonder what she meant when she said that. She wasn’t herself with the poison coursing through her, but I can’t help but wonder if she feels some of this too…

We are going back to Lunaria in an hour. I need to find Dad, Eloise and the crew first, though every fiber of my being is aching to get to her. I have to be reasonable, I have to clear my head, so I can concentrate on my first mission. I can’t let my family, my whole crew down. I just wish I knew she was alright. She seemed to be getting better when I left her and the guard who found us must have gotten help. I dare to hope she is fine.

Back to the mission, focus.

Hyacinth will be a wild card but I trust she might find a way to connect with the locals in a way we somehow could not and find out more about what’s going on on Lunaria. Everyone is so secretive about the truth, like they don’t even know or understand why they are being targeted. And why did the Solarians chase her? If they wanted to take someone they could have, but they’ve gone after her. Twice. They wanted her. They wanted her! I can’t blame them, I want her to myself, too! Focus.

What lesson am I teaching to my crew with my behaviour? Staying behind to… If Greg didn’t find me I don’t know what I would have done. I couldn’t save her, the guard would have found us, I would have surrendered… Focus.

We need to be more strategic about our approach now. If I don’t get this right, I can get two of my youngest siblings in trouble. What if I don’t make the right choices? If I bring them down with myself turning this into a suicide mission? I was right to follow her, though… I might have saved her life… or maybe if I didn't chase her too, she could have gotten away the first time? Focus. Damnit.

Michaela knows me too well, she’ll notice something is off. And Hyacinth is a living lie detector. Not that we Vulcans would lie, that would be illogical. Stating what’s not true won’t help progress, right? I believe the best miracles come from the truth! She believed that too. What would she do now? Focus. Why can’t I?

He was clutching at his hair in frustration. Every single thought led him back to her. It was undeniable. He was…powerless against her pull. He sat on the edge of his bed, staring at her scarf in his left hand, the pills in his right palm, knowing he might be about to make the biggest mistake of his life.

-----------

The shuttle was rattling as they made their descent in the storm.

They landed outside the city, hiding it in a forested area. They agreed to stay away from the market for a day or two, just in case the same guards were patrolling and instead voted to return to the part of the city they pinned as their next destination to poke around after overhearing some chatter about more Solarian sightings there.

Maybe instead of connecting with the locals they should find a way in with the Solarians. It was Hy’s idea, of course. She was a menace, after all, and even managed to convince them–with a valid argument–that every situation and conflict has at least two parties involved. And maybe, it was time to try to hear the other side of the story. She hadn’t given up on talking to the locals of course, who seemed much friendlier than the Solarians but she was ready to do whatever it took to find her dad and Eloise.

“You OK, Cap?” Michaela bumped her shoulder to his, looking at him with a hint of worry as they were walking in the dark towards the city.

“Just lots of things on my mind.”

“Are you worried what happens if those two get into trouble?” She nodded towards Hy and Greg, walking behind them, already in an audible argument.

“It’s not if, it's when…” Colin let out a big sigh.

“You know they are both adults now. Even more, they are Starfleet Officers. With useful skills and years of training behind them. So you can rely on them fulfilling their duties accordingly.” Michaela sounded like the voice of reason.

“It’s just hard to forget how they were as kids.”

“Look, I know it’s not usual to have your siblings around, reporting to you, let alone be in the landing party with you for a mission to find your dad and sister. This mission was a lot already. Having them here…a buttload of responsibility and added nuance, I get it. Believe me nobody wants to be in your place now.”

“Was that meant to be an encouragement? Because it’s the worst pep-talk I've ever heard.”

“You’re in need of a pep-talk? We’re in deep shit if that’s true, Cap!” she snapped at him sarcastically.

“Language, Mic!” He gave her a stern look, shaking his head in disbelief. “And no, I don’t need a pep-talk. In fact, I could make up a much better one in my head analyzing the best ones I heard, thank you. If I ever needed one, that is.” he clarified with his last sentence in fast follow.

“Col, you are doing great! The crew admires your bravery to take on this mission and lead the landing party too. You also treat them well, always with respect; and you communicate what your expectations are of them and what's next clearly, that means a lot. They really look up to you, you know that right? Those two included.” She nodded at his siblings again.

“Thanks, Number One!”

“You know me well enough…I am not saying this because I have to, you know, because you’re my Captain. I don’t do bullshit. I worked with you enough to know you value honesty, not just because you’re Vulcan. So I am also going to say this, with respect…I am still worried about you. You are not really yourself. If you want to talk about what’s bothering you, I am here. As your friend. Off record. ”

“I don’t even know where to start, Mic! Navigating this mission got more complex than I anticipated. Too many variables to be able to stay…all rational and logical.”

“I know missing so many doses of your suppressant is messing with your head. But know that your team didn’t notice it, not until the last week or so, anyways.”

“Did they say something?” Colin asked, surprised.

“Just that you were sniffing around a lot. I overheard them in the mess hall.” She started laughing. ”They thought that you didn’t like their smell. It was hilarious how worried they got.” She was chuckling, clearly reliving the conversation she heard. “They knew Vulcans don’t like how humans or other species smell...”

“That’s not entirely true.” He LOVED her scent…he went crazy, chasing it…

“Anyway, what I am trying to say is that it hasn’t changed the fact that you are great at what you do! Just trust yourself!”

“This starts to remind me of a pep-talk again…”

“Alright. I’ll shut up. You’re the Cap, we follow your orders! And if those two won’t…well, I’m keeping an eye on them too…just so we’re clear.”

“That’s my Number One! Thanks!” Colin met her gaze and gave her a nod, a gesture that held more meaning for both of them.

They were approaching the edge of the city, walking past a few houses when they heard noises. Motioning for everyone to hide behind a wall, Colin peeked out from the corner to see if it was safe to continue. A vehicle stopped in front of a house not far from them and two forms emerged from the house, in hooded cloaks, joining the other two forms that were the source of the noise. He couldn’t really tell if they were Lunarians or Solarians from this distance. They were all getting into the vehicle, the last one taking a quick look around, before onboarding.

She had a familiar outline…she turned her head towards where they were hiding…she froze for a second, as if she sensed something… And her face was lit for a split of a second by the moonlight. The color of her hair peeked out, her height, her figure, the profile of her face… He could not mistake it for anyone else.

His heart was pounding, he didn’t know what to do. He could not run after the vehicle, he could not expose them, or leave his team behind just like that. He had to wait until the vehicle left, however painful it was to let her go… At least he knew she was alive and well. A big sigh escaped his lips, the pain and worry in his chest he was holding lifted just a little, but settled right back in with the realization that he lost her again.

What was she doing here? In that house? Was she with Lunarians or did the Solarians somehow capture her? Was she being forced against her will? She didn’t seem to be distressed but it was hard to tell from this far. His mind went into overdrive again, with more and more questions. Focus. What should he do next?

There has to be something in that house that helps him find her again, he tried to reason. They have to go and search the house. It is the logical thing to do. But they have to scout it first, there may be someone still in there. Plans started to form in his head about how to go about this in the most efficient and least risky way.

But he had to tell his team first. He gulped down a nervous thought that they may not approve of his decision on how to approach this situation.

“Team, I need to tell you something,” he whispered in a low voice, turning back to his crew.

Six pairs of eyes shot up to his, full of curiosity and anticipation, silently pleading to blurt out whatever it was that he was about to say.

“Colin, you’re killing us, what is it?” Hyacinth finally snapped at him.

“It’s just…I don’t know how to say it…”

“Just blurt it out, Col!” Michaela doubled down in frustration.

What if his eyes were betraying him? And he just saw what he wanted to see? It was dark, and he only saw a glimpse…

The word “hope” was not in the Vulcan dictionary. It was considered illogical and potentially dangerous, as it could lead to irrational decisions and disappointment. However, if there was a reasonable probability of a positive outcome based on the available evidence, then it was logical to anticipate that outcome and work towards it. That was the most logical form of hope he found himself clinging to a lot recently.

“Colin, for the logic of all Vulcans! Must you be so-” Greg threw his figure of speech back at him, but he was cut off.

“I think I just saw our sister!”

Chapter Text

Chapter 3

Penelope was back in her room at the palace, looking at her reflection in the mirror. The soft black leather of his jacket felt like a phantom embrace on her bare skin. Enveloped in nothing but his piece of clothing, she hugged herself tightly, lost entirely between the sweet comfort and the agonizing torment, a memory of his arms wrapped around her, her face burrowed into his chest.

His scent clung to the leather and she rubbed her neck against the collar, a soft whimper escaping her lips. Eyes closed, she could almost feel how his palm grazed her neck, her collarbone and her mating glands as she smoothed her own fingers over them, painfully aching for more of his touch all over her body. The moan she let out turned to an almost silent frustrated cry.

A week ago she had no idea she could crave someone's touch like this; shivering with need just at the thought of him.

She lay on her bed, sliding her hand underneath the jacket, biting her lip as her nipples tightened and pierced her palm for the thought of it being his hand instead. Her other hand caressed the mating glands on her neck mindlessly as if she was transferring the memory of his touch to where her other hand was stroking her body.

She never should have gotten herself in such a situation, but her curiosity—as always—and her habit of poking her nose where she shouldn’t, had gotten her in real trouble this time. She wasn’t even supposed to be there.

She had been looking for the Solarians–who took Lunaria’s Prime leader, Luna Prime and her first advisor, Una from the palace–for 2 days already. She saw them being taken away by a pack of Solarians and started following them from a safe distance; the palace soon after was locked down due to the news of the attack in the early morning hours just before the whole city woke up.

Her nose led her to the market just as it started buzzing, but she lost their scent amongst the clash of aromas, fragrances, and smells hitting her suddenly all at once. She ran into endless stalls of colorful spices and herbs tickling her nose, delicious food being cooked and served all over the streets. She could feel the taste of them in her mouth, licking her lips as she passed through them. Fresh linen scent followed her around as she wandered among the merchants selling fabrics and clothes in a rainbow of colors, failing to escape the overwhelming sensations bombarding her. She was looking for a calm spot to neutralize and recalibrate herself, to refocus her hunt for her leaders’ scents. She even bought a yellow head scarf to blend in amongst the locals, most wearing some against the heat of the sun during the day and to keep comfy and warm in the chill of the Lunarian night.

And for 2 days straight she had been carefully studying the locals and asking around, chasing down every faint trail, but got nowhere. She could have left but she could not give up so easily. What would her Prime and Una think if she just gave it up like that? She was better than that!

There were moments she felt like she found a trace again, reinvigorating her with a hint of their well-known powerful, commanding scent; in other moments she questioned her own sanity. She didn't have too much time though - with the passing of every hour, every day, the shreds of hope she was fiercely holding onto were slipping away.

If not for a curious scent tickling her nose, she was about to accept the unsettling fact that in just a few days, the third in line must be crowned to lead Lunaria because she was failing her duty.

She had never smelled anything like this before. It was an unfamiliar scent, with a faint metallic tang, yet reminiscent of the fresh air after a thunderstorm, almost electrifying, with notes of dry sandalwood. It reminded her of early dawn in the forest, of being in the comforting embrace of her favorite tree she used to climb on and read for hours when she was younger.

It was the only new scent in the market and she was drawn to it immediately. She had to investigate it–she reasoned it could have been Solarian after all. Though she had never heard anyone who came across them talk about their scent like that.

She closed her eyes and filled her nostrils, reveling in it, focusing on it and letting her feet take her in its direction, almost automatically. As she got closer, a subtle but distinct scent of well-worn leather with an airy sweetness to it warmed through her body, making her shiver from excitement.

She felt goosebumps all over her skin just at the memory of it. Her bedsheets felt cool against her bare legs, but the cozyness of his jacket was keeping her warm. Her fingertips traced over the line where the zipper exposed her, slowly circling then palming both of her breasts over the soft leather, massaging them through it, craving to feel his bare skin against hers as she thought back how her senses had gotten so intrigued by him.

The market swirled around her, a blur of sights and sounds as she was weaving through it with purpose, peeking from behind stalls, following her instincts, an invisible thread leading her as if from a childhood fairy tale.

The scent moved around the market just like her, at times intensifying to almost being at her fingertips, other times fading to barely anything. The unsettling panic she felt of losing its trace spurred her to follow it closer the next time she hoped to catch it.

She'd narrowed her search to a specific area where the scent lingered every night. By the third night, she was close—so close she almost saw what she now knew was him—only to find an abandoned merchant stall with rugs and blankets still warm to the touch by the ghost of his recent presence.

As she sniffed around basking in his scent, more potent in such a small space, she settled on a rug he must have slept on, because it smelled just like him. Four rugs, four beds, four distinct scents, but only one she was drawn to so irrevocably. She wondered what spooked them to leave in such a hurry. What were they escaping from at night? And what were they chasing after during the day?

Exhausted by the intensity of the last few days, and what she was surprised to realize might be the onset of pre-heat, her natural urge to nest kicked in. Feeling the warmth he left behind, with his scent still lingering, she curled up on his rug snuggling into his blanket and fell asleep there, dreaming about chasing him again the next day.

And chase she did, for the next four days. She was still looking for her Prime and Una first and foremost, constantly having to decide between following their scent trail and his. It became clear he did not have them or was not involved in kidnapping them; her nose would not betray her like that. Yet, she almost wished he had them, to avoid this torment.

Her commitment to her mission started faltering as her symptoms intensified. Having him so close yet never in sight occupied her mind more and more every passing day and it was almost time to return to the palace. She could not miss the ceremony. She also needed her suppressants before her full heat set on.

All day she felt him slipping away, his scent fading with each passing hour, until she could no longer sense him.

He was gone.

She felt the loss of something precious, however inexplicable it was. Broken, defeated, failing her mission, and losing this piece she carved out for him in her, she headed back to the palace.

And then, just as she reached the edge of the market, she smelled him again.

The sudden joy that overtook her at that moment, the scent-memory so strong she could practically wrap herself around it made her insides throb. He was getting closer and closer by the minute and her feet started moving on their own, bringing her towards him as well.

As she wet and bit her lips, she could almost taste the saltiness of his skin on her tongue. Wrapped in his jacket, hugged tight to her heated body, his scent mingled with hers… the intensity of the moment forced her fingers to start their own chase of pleasure across her body, burning up even more in her bed now.

The moment she blocked out everything else but him and finally gave in, her defences crumbled, her focus shifted, and it was singular and primal and inevitable. Her heart was beating in her throat as she was flying towards the one tempting her all this time… only to run straight into two Solarians. That was just her luck. She had been after them this whole week… The moment they made eye-contact with her, she realized she was running for her life now, past him, away, never to be found again.

And yet, somehow he found her first. The realization struck her as soon as her eyes met his. Little gold specks sparkled in his eyes as he looked up at her, like distant stars hung in the depth of the galaxy of his blue eyes. And she was drawn to get lost in them, to discover the story behind every sparkle, every speck.

Despite her instincts telling her she could trust him, she had to default to assuming he was an enemy, unless he was able to prove it otherwise. She was surprised to find he was half-Vulcan, but he must have understood the logic behind her behavior then; no matter how attractive and pleasing to the eye she found him, and no matter how overwhelmed she was with his scent. Her whole body tensed being around him, and she was grabbing her dagger like a lifeline, trying to calm down so she could question him.

She was beyond curious.

Why was he here on Lunaria in the first place? Why does he smell so good, so unique and so irresistible? What had he been searching for in the market this whole week? Why was he chasing her?

The way his voice made her insides melt was disturbing. It was kind, reassuring and hummed in a frequency she could not resist committing to memory, together with his mesmerizing starry eyes and his pointy ears that were tempting her to run her fingers around or take a bite of, teasingly.

And on top of it all, he was a worthy partner in their banter; not giving away anything, yet somehow breaking down her defenses answer by answer. He valued the truth, and from what she had learned about Vulcans, it struck her that the first statement he said to her was true. He wanted to help her, Vulcans don’t lie. She was right to trust him. But this was way too much fun; she wanted to spend a little more time with him, now that she finally had him pinned down all to herself.

When she was probing him to talk so she could let him go, he boldly asked, “Who said I want to get out of this?” He spoke the truth, again. He enjoyed himself in this situation… She wondered why?

His playfulness shone through the serious and logical façade he was trying to uphold and she liked that, peeling back the layers of what made him–him.

“It doesn't seem to be practical. Staying like this,” she poked back and he dared to challenge her further “What if I like a good challenge?” to her utter delight. Because there was nothing more attractive in a mate for her–other than cherishing the same values of honesty and tender yet fierce care for her family and people–than someone who likes to be challenged to keep every day interesting. And the only things sharper than his cute Vulcan ears were his mind and his tongue; she knew she wouldn’t mind duelling both.

He met her every little jab to tease him with an equally sharp one, surprising her with a tone growing more flirtatious and words that started to make her blush. She tried and failed to hold back a joke that naturally blurted out from her mouth as they ventured to more playful territories. “Maybe they also thought I needed saving.” She avoided answering him as to why she was being chased.

And then he smiled. She made him smile.

It was faint, and a little lopsided as he quickly tried to hide it, though a soft chuckle and a dimple betrayed him. Why did this turn her heart into liquid lava ready to burst? She couldn’t tell, but his smile haunted her dreams ever since.

And then he confessed it again, how he enjoyed being pinned down by her, having this little banter that led to nowhere, and she felt her body going up in flames for this man she did not know but was drawn to regardless. When he finally relaxed his body under her tense attention, she caught a flinch of embarrassment on his face. His pointy ears turned red all the way to their tips and a waft of his scent hit her like a heady cocktail. The worn-in leather notes became richer and more supple, taking on a slightly musky, sensual quality, mixing with the warmth of his skin, and the sandalwood gained a hint of warm spice like cardamom and a touch of bergamot. He smelled like a thrilling chase through the woods in the early morning sunlight and she wanted him to catch her there and then. And so he did. She didn’t know how, but he gave her what she was so desperate for.

He had her pinned down in less than a second. His hands held her wrists so gently yet securely she only wiggled them to test him, but his grip stayed soft and firm at the same time. She liked this about him already. He had this duality in him; to exude power, dominance and self-confidence but balance it out somehow with kindness, care and warmth that she assumed was coming straight from his heart. His hips enveloped hers as he leaned closer to her, his scent affecting her in a way that was almost impossible to resist, tempting her to rub herself on to his erection. It was wild to have such chemistry with a stranger and she was blaming her onsetting heat that she allowed–in all honesty she encouraged–this situation to unfold. But she did not regret it. She wanted him, too.

She was clenching the sheets of her bed with one hand while the other finally slid between her folds imagining him hovering above her, just like in that moment in that dark alley in the market. She let out a whimper as she started stroking herself to his scent, to his touch, to the dream of that kiss she knew he was too much a gentleman to steal.

When he leaned closer, he was so close, she felt his warm breath like the gentlest breeze caressing her lips. So close, she was drunk on his scent instantly, overwhelmed by the urge to taste his lips. She saw a little drop of blood forming on his chin and was genuinely ashamed she cut him as they tumbled. It was never her intention to hurt him but she could not admit that to him, not yet. The need to soothe him, comfort him, take care of him made her powerless against her instinct…so she licked his chin. Languidly. Enjoying every second of it.

Tasting him, the saltiness of his skin, the graze of his stubble against her lips made her insides clench–and apparently–his cock twitch too. Her whole body was on fire, her mind racing knowing they both felt this and she had to pull herself together, back to reality, before she decided to mate him in this very alley. “Says the one with something stabbing at me at this very moment, and I don’t remember you promising to behave either.”

She didn’t mean to embarrass him. The way he blushed to the tips of his ears again, standing up in a hurry, fighting to collect himself, apologizing to her, was so sweet. Did he not know she felt it too? She was not familiar with Vulcan mating traditions, but she wanted him to know this was mutual. She wasn’t sure he got the reference “it takes two to dance” but she hoped. He was a smart man, he could work it out in his head later. He had done nothing to scare her, or make her uncomfortable; on the contrary, really.

These few moments with him were the best in weeks–months–since the attacks intensified. And she felt happiness, joy, excitement; maybe a little too much of that but she felt like herself again. Alive, like she could conquer the world. Which reminded her of her mission and her duty. She was always proud of serving Lunaria, their people and their Prime and Una, and it was the first time putting her planet first made her feel sad.

Because she could not get involved with him with everything going on in her life. It was too dangerous and he was going to leave anyway. She could not get her hopes up or her heart tangled in a mess with a stranger who only passed by. But most importantly, she could not put him in the crossfire.

She knew him well enough by now to know he wouldn’t just let her leave without him.

“You got lucky I found you first” His words jolted her, the magic of truth now a heart-stabbing reality.

“Yes, I did, didn't I?” and she was, after all. Lucky that she met him in the craziness of this world, in the midst of everything going on, after a week of being drawn to and chasing his scent. Lucky that she had those few moments with a starry-eyed half-Vulcan who stole her heart in a heartbeat in the middle of a dark alley while she was running for her life.

So without having another glance at him in fear that she may not be able to leave him behind then, she started running again, but this time, she ran away from him, trying to protect his life.

Her fingers circling her nub stilled for a moment. She opened her eyes, pushing away that memory, trying to cling on to those heated moments together instead. She reached for her Pulse stone next to her bed. It had helped her through many heats before, though none of them had started so desperate, so needy, so insatiable like this one. She should have taken her heat suppressants, but she was too focused on her mission, and consumed by chasing him that she missed her window. She should have known better. Because a heat without suppressants to soothe her, at the worst possible time in her life, had grave consequences.

She was on the verge of her full heat, already too disturbed to think about anything else but him, a feverish need burning within her, her body shivering from the mere thought of his touch. The tinge of pain she felt in her belly was intensifying, the craving to be filled and mated overtaking her again. She latched onto the memory of him rubbing her neck and her glands again, her slick starting to drench her opening, readying herself to take him. Her fantasy came to life as soon as her vibrating Pulse stone slid inside her making her whimper and moan, pleasuring herself, imagining it was him. Her other hand flew to rub and circle her swollen nub and she was transported to a dream, being in his arms.

Her back was tugged tightly to his broad, muscular chest, his large palm grazing her perked nipple, cupping her breast possessively. She was already drunk and aroused on their mixed, intoxicating scent and comforted by his warmth surrounding her with their bodies pressed together. As his nose gently nuzzled into her curls sending goosebumps down her spine, his lips sucked and kissed her neck, teasing her by grazing his teeth along her mating gland. His hips moved in languid waves burying himself in her warmth from behind. It was sinful, and torturously slow, and he told her he was just reliving the first time her tight, wet channel swallowed him deep and whole, over and over again.

Her whole body throbbed as he was sliding in and out of her, panting and moaning at every thrust. She was bucking her hips to meet his with an intensifying tempo, urging him on, until he started thrusting faster, harder with a pace that was getting her to her orgasm in no time. His fingers found her nub and commenced their sweet torture in tandem.

To mimic her daydream, she was speeding up her rhythm, pumping the Pulse stone faster, deeper, angling it to hit her at just the right spot, her hips bucking up in ecstasy.

They both were so close to coming undone in her dream; grunting and growling and panting and moaning together…as they climbed, almost there.

“Tell me you’re mine, little one!” he commanded and begged her.

“I am yours, Starry Eyes, only yours!” She cried out as she came, drawing him with her into the bliss as he growled “Mine" into her ear and bit her mating gland. Jolts of pleasure mixed with pain rushed through her.

She was still coming, convulsing, clenching around her Pulse stone, milking it as if it was him, riding out a second, smaller wave of orgasm, holding onto, playing on repeat those words he said. “You're mine, little one! Mine!”

She fell asleep with those words and his voice echoing in her head, continuing a dream she didn’t want to leave come morning.

------------

She woke up a mess next morning, feverish, in pain, unsatisfied, craving to be mated again. Rubbing herself against his leather jacket; filling up on his scent was the only comforting thing she could do right now. Using her Pulse stone provided only temporary relief, and not even the water pond in her room could keep her blood cool enough, her desire tamed enough to function, let alone do anything productive. This heat was unlike any other she experienced.

A knock on her door pulled her back from drifting off to dream about him, exhausted after another orgasm she gave herself while thinking about him. She pulled her sheets to cover herself before answering.

“Come on in, Rae,” she called out as she sat up in her bed.

“Good morning, Miss. I brought you some breakfast.”

“Thank you so much, Rae.”

“How are you feeling?”

“I am…” fine is what she wanted to say, but she wasn’t.

“Not in my best shape, as you can tell.”

“You need to give yourself some grace. You’re just recovering from poisoning and with your heat starting, it has taken a huge toll on your body.” Rae looked at her concerned and with so much tenderness.

“I know, but I don’t have time for this, Rae!” she exclaimed.

“There should always be time for healing.”

“You know what I mean, Rae,” she answered her more gently.

“I do, Miss.”

“So what’s on the agenda for today?”

“There’s a briefing about the latest developments and another one about the ceremony, Miss.”

“I still have hope Prime and Una somehow magically return, until the very last minute…” She held hope relentlessly, but deep in her heart she knew the chances were slim to none. The sooner they have a new–temporary–Prime, the sooner they can implement their plan, to get their leaders back and to end this conflict with the Solarians once and for all.

“Me too, Miss, but we have to prepare nonetheless.”

“You’re right.”

“The first meeting is in an hour. Do you think you can make it in your state?”

“I’ll have to. Our enemy won’t stop–just because I am in pain and in heat–so I can’t either.”

“Is the pond helping, like last time?” Rae nodded towards the little pool surrounding the heat nest’s comfy bed. These rooms were designed specifically for this purpose; cozy, inviting, with lots of soft pillows and blankets, and a cooling pond to help with the fever at any time of the day.

“Not as much as I would have loved it to. Perhaps, I will take a mate after all...”

“But you always avoided it, waiting to find your true mate to bond with,” Rae reminded her of her own excuses.

“I know I don’t live in a fairy tale, Rae. I have to be practical. I have to take one sooner or later, anyway. And this heat is getting in the way of performing my duties. You were the one who suggested this so many times before. You said it would help pass faster.” She threw Rae’s previous arguments at her.

“I meant for you to look for…” but her stern look cut Rae short. “I can get started on a short list of eligible Lords, Miss.”

“Thank you, Rae. Let me know when it’s time to go to the meeting, in case I fall asleep again.”

“Yes, Miss.” She turned around walking towards the door, turning back as she reached it. “I am really sorry it came to this, all of this. Just know everyone knows about your efforts to find them, and they are grateful to have you,” she added in a soft voice woven through with love and worry.

“Thank you Rae, that means a lot.”

----------------

An hour later, she was sitting in a leather chair in their briefing room, the feel of it under her skin haunting her. Her fever subsided a bit after another round with her Pulse stone and 20 minutes in her cooling water pond just before she joined the briefing. She just hoped she could stay calm and collected enough to survive this meeting.

The room was full of Lunarian leaders and consultants, an elite team to discuss their strategy and tactical details on a possible attack against the Solarians.

They’ve always been the passive party in this conflict, being a peaceful planet for decades, but the promise of an alternative type of weapon gave life to discussions to become more proactive.

“We’ve made significant progress in our research, and believe we are on the brink of discovering the solution we so desperately need to end this conflict once and for all,” the head of the research team reported.

It was the first good news in a while, and everyone got excited as they discussed the details. Dr. Danbury answered all their questions patiently.

Then they went through plans on infiltrating the Solarian defense systems with Gareth Sinclair, the Commander of their Lunar Guard, and Lucy Abernathy, Captain of the Sentinels, their Air and Space defense fleet.

The debate went on and on about the tactics, and she grew more and more impatient. Her fever was spiking again, making her feel uncomfortable, yearning for her cooling pond. It was time to end this meeting for everyone’s sake.

She cleared her throat, drawing the attention back to herself.

“We cannot rely solely on infiltration. Lunaria has always been proud to value honesty above all and putting their people first. We need an alternative path to get in front of their Prime and convince him to stop these insane attacks. So I will make one final attempt at diplomacy.” The room went silent, not a whisper was heard, all eyes on her, as she continued.

"We have a solution for our problem," she declared. “Well, in a few days, we shall.” She looked at Dr. Danbury, who nodded assuredly. "I will approach them with a peace offering. If they are wise, they will accept it. If they are not…" She let the sentence hang in the air as she looked around the room, planning to make a proclamation knowing well it may not have everyone’s approval. "Their lack of cooperation, I am afraid, will force our hand. Our remedy…will be enacted. It is the only way to ensure Lunaria's survival."

“It’s a dangerous game you're playing, Penelope. It could get you killed,” Dr. Danbury warned her as others nodded, agreeing in silence.

“I know. And I appreciate your concern, Dr. Danbury. But answer me this first: how would I be worthy of becoming your leader, if I did not lead with our values and did what I felt was right?”

“And that’s why,” Dr. Danbury’s voice echoed in the room, “You, Penelope, from the House of Featherington, chosen to be third in line, are our next Luna Prime.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 4: Chaos

“What?!” his siblings exclaimed in tandem like twins.

“Are you sure it was Eloise you saw,” Michaela asked with hopeful tentativeness. She knew to tread lightly. It’s been over two weeks since they heard from her, the last report she sent while they were still approaching Lunaria.

Colin shook his head. ”I believe so,” but he didn’t sound too convincing. “It was dark and I only had a glance…I saw her enter a vehicle with three others and leave that house on the corner.”

“We should have tried to follow them, shouldn’t we?” Greg asked immediately.

“On foot? You? I mean, how fast can you run, Greg?” Hyacinth threw him an exasperated look as she self-corrected, realizing they are not at their family dinner table anymore and he outranks her, however unsettling that is. She also promised Colin to behave, this was her trying…

“Well, what do you want to do then, Cap? Recon and sweep,” Michaela asked, almost stating, knowing how her friend’s mind worked all too well.

“Yes,” Colin confirmed. “We’ll check the house. The goal is to find something that can lead us to Eloise, or at least give us a clue of what she was doing here. Alright, Greg, give me your best shot; how would you go about this?” Colin looked at him expectantly.

“Me,” Greg asked, seemingly surprised Colin was asking for his strategy.

“I would scan for life signs first, then approach the house. Would sweep it then if empty,” Hy added, not waiting for her brother, who hesitated for just a millisecond too long.

“But what if there is someone inside?” Greg confronted her. “I assume we’ll need to use our phasers, but we don’t want to leave bodies behind…”

“And if they see your face Greg?” sassed Hyacinth.

“I have combat training, aren’t you forgetting that? I can make sure they don’t,” Greg retorted.

“Yeah, that would save them from some nightmares at least,” his sister quipped back.

Colin let out a big sigh before addressing them.

“If you two can’t behave I’ll-”

“NO, we promise we will,” both snapped at the same time, a bit louder than it was wise.

“Sorry,” both exclaimed again, giving each other a frustrated look.

“Jinx!”

“Jinx!”

“What did I do to deserve this?” Colin’s face contorted, looking at Michaela. He quickly added, seeing her amused expression, “You know what, don’t answer that!” He held his hand up, shaking his head in disbelief. He was starting to regret his decision to bring both Gregory and Hyacinth on this mission. What was he thinking?

“After the quick initial sweep and handling anyone inside, I can stay at the entrance to be a lookout, in case the others return,” Greg offered.

“That’s actually a good idea.” Hyacinth surprised all of them with a remark that must have slipped out accidentally. “What, I can–however hard it is–admit if my brother says something-”

“Smart,” Greg proudly exclaimed.

“I wouldn’t go that far…” she retreated, and quickly continued with her own idea to avoid having to pay her brother another compliment and to prove she had value to add as well. “I can try to hack into any data sources we may find while you and Michaela keep looking for more clues so we can divide and conquer.”

“Nice one, Sis!” Greg offered his hand for a high five to her and Colin looked between them with bewilderment, then to Michaela who was chuckling at the scene unfolding. Maybe his siblings can behave and be professional after all…

As Hyacinth raised her hand to give Greg a high five, he quickly moved it away, cheekily whispering “Too slow, too low!” when she tried to chase it, just like when they were little kids. And Colin buried his face in his hands, dragging them down his face, as if that would help forget this was 50% of his team infiltrating an enemy compound, likely filled with Solarians.

Michaela patted his back in solidarity. “We’ve been through worse,” she said with fake seriousness.

“You sure about that,” Colin shook his head. Why did he have a feeling that all his decisions on this mission so far were somehow proving to be illogical, no matter how hard he justified them with logic before.

Seeing Colin was about to send those two back to the ship, Michaela started speaking, reiterating the plan, adding a few more tactical details about the approach. She emphasized the importance of remaining undetected; Hyacinth was instructed to stick with her, using her own idea to divide and conquer so Colin could lead on with Greg. Colin gave a grateful nod to Michaela; ever since they met, she instinctively knew how to have his back.

“This is as real as it gets guys. You both are here for a reason. I know you can bring your best, even if it’s your first mission.” Michaela glanced at Hyacinth encouragingly. ”I don’t have to remind you how much is riding on the success of us finding clues without being detected or captured, right?” She concluded her debrief and they nodded in acknowledgment.

“Hy? You ready?” Colin checked in with her, seeing a little glint in her eyes, as the adrenaline started rising in all of them, no doubt. He remembered his first mission and how nervous he was, that he’d somehow disappoint. This was a big deal for her and even though all three of them were there to protect her should anything happen, there were a lot of unknown risks.

“I am ready Col, I mean Captain! I know I am in good hands with my team and I am going to do my best to help find… them.“ Her eyes softened on mentioning them, her father and Eloise at the forefront of her mind, but then she shook herself and nodded. “What are we waiting for?”

“Alright, phasers on stun and use comms strictly as necessary, as we discussed,” Colin added, as he did a hand signal to start moving towards the house. He was trying to stay calm, confident, and calculated in his every move. After all, this was muscle memory from his years of training, and skills refined to a tee with his “diverse” experience. He led missions patrolling the Borderland Systems at Starfleet, and flew cargo ships these past two years with Michaela in the Shadow Rim. It was a lawless region where he'd learned to rely on his instincts more than he thought was logical, but where his training came handy every single day. However, he could not help but feel the pressure, the guilt, the desperation build up underneath. His jaw clenched and his grip tightened on his phaser unconsciously as they approached the house.

Colin could count on one hand the occasions his emotions overpowered him so much he simply could not contain them anymore. It was always rooted in his inherent need to take care and protect what–usually who–was important in his life; his perceived failure to do so broke him inside in ways he was not ready to neither admit nor address, or discuss, not even with Michaela. It just became this silent curse of guilt overshadowing his relationships, setting an impossible expectation on himself, that he was doomed to fail.

Like how he failed and could not save her from the Solarian attack, and from being poisoned. Still unable to process his emotions that overcame him when he saw her little body fighting two Solarians double her size so fiercely. And then, seeing her so utterly helpless and in pain, he would have given, done, sacrificed almost anything in that moment to help her and that thought shocked him at his core. Unable–and unwilling–to fully unpack everything, the depth of desire to protect her and be with her, someone he barely knew and already disappointed, betrayed and let down by leaving her behind in a dire state she was in. He doubted she’d ever want to see him again…if she survived at all. And he might never find out, having to live his whole life in agony, deservedly so, because he let logic win out over…

Focus.

Or how he failed when he lost Eloise on their first visit to the Science Academy’s library when he was 12 and she was 9. He got distracted, captivated by a book about meteors and she wandered off, her curiosity and love of books matching his, even at that younger age.

He could never forget it.

The panic he felt after looking for her, running up and down the aisles calling her name–in a whisper because he was embarrassed–for over 10 minutes all over the massive, endless rows and rows of books. The guilt of taking a second for himself while he was “on duty” to watch her. The relief he felt when he found her–basking in sunlight, like a little angel, reading a book in the middle of the history aisle–etched into his memory forever.

When he finally hugged her in his arms, he broke down in tears, letting all those overwhelming emotions wash away while Eloise just huffed in annoyance. “It’s not like someone would kidnap me here, Colin. No one is going to take me away from you, you’re not that lucky,” she chuckled. That lured a faint smile to his tear-stricken eyes and red cheeks. He promised to be a better brother and never let anything happen to her on his watch ever again. To not let his fleeting feelings of pursuing his own joy take him away from his (brotherly) duties…

Focus.

The problem was, he wasn’t around to watch her this time. Letting his dad and Eloise go on this mission to this unknown quadrant and planet without him felt like a personal failure of his again.

This was exactly the sort of mission he joined Starfleet for, to boldly go where no one has gone before. To explore the unknown and be there at the beginning when a new star, or in this case a new alliance was born and see it reach its inevitable destination. But while his father and Eloise were preparing for such a humble and critical mission, he was on the other side of the galaxy sulking, avoiding facing the reality that life goes on and so should he, despite what happened with Marina.

Her rejection of him should not have chased him away, but he was unable to face himself, the unspoken pity of his family, or his failure that society associated with a high profile bond-break like theirs. Yet again, he put himself first trying to deal with the aftermath in private and what did it lead to?

He ran away thinking he could clear his mind and then refocus far from the prying eyes of everyone who knew him and his family, his father’s whole legacy he was so sure to follow on, hanging over him with a big question mark now. The identity crisis Marina unknowingly induced led him to the edge of the Alpha quadrant, to a pub that famously served Saurian brandy infused with dark chocolate, one of the rare drinks that could make even a Vulcan pleasantly inebriated.

The dark caramel colored drink burned a pleasant warmth down his throat as he downed it in almost one go. A faint melancholy settled over him as he swirled the remaining liquid at the bottom of his glass, replaying Marina’s parting words. “Not Vulcan enough.” He shifted slightly on the barstool, his posture sinking, becoming less rigid as his blood carried his choice of poison for the night through a body that was otherwise always on alert.

He was trying to let go.

He signalled for another one while he downed the rest of his drink, feeling a little numbness spreading, his hypersensitive hearing still able to pick up on whispers from the table nearby.

Round two arrived in fast follow, the bartender taking pity on him as well, or was he imagining it? The whispers continued as he wet his throat again as if drowning himself would help unhear the words laced with mockery and disgust.

“Half-Vulcan, half-human. Can you imagine that? Being only half the man, no matter what side you’re looking at? I bet he inherited only the flaws…”

Not human enough either, he scoffed to himself. A surge of anger, hot and unfamiliar, coursed through him. He gripped his glass tighter, taking another big swig of it. The pain of the burn soothed him for an unknown reason. He tracked the movement of one of his insulters from the corner of his eye wobbling on shaky legs to the bar. He must have had a few already, clearly not promising to be a good company as he settled next to him on an empty barstool on his right. Colin took another big sip, signalling for another one as he was staring at the bartender who looked at him and his new seatmate questioningly. He nodded again to confirm he still wanted his drink and he was not going anywhere; he was here to forget. He downed the rest of his second drink, and shook his head, not being used to the sensations spreading in his body.

“What’s wrong pointy-ear? I doubt you’ll find the answer at the bottom of the glass there. You’re throwing those down like it's liquid logic. Let me share some wisdom: they won’t fix this,” he slurred as he gestured all over Colin with his hand.

The bartender gave Colin his third shot, turning to the drunk patron next to him.

“I think you’ve had enough there buddy, why don’t you go back to your table? I think they could use some of that wisdom of yours, too! I’ll bring you and your friends something hydrating for a change, on the house,” clearly attempting to deescalate what was brewing between Colin and the blond troublemaker adamant on pissing him off.

“You gave this half-breed more to drink and you refuse to serve me? Look at him feeling all smug and superior.” The obnoxious blond scoffed and Colin raised an eyebrow at him. “He thinks he’s too good for this place. But it’s the opposite, you don’t belong here either. You’re not good enough to be a Vulcan let alone a human,” he continued his insults and Colin’s free hand fisted, the concoction he drank removing the barriers of his self-control. His jaw tensed as he glanced at the drunk man next to him, then at the bartender. He took another sip of his drink to distract himself.

Colin was starting to lose his patience and every inch of his body kept tensing further and further the longer that man sat next to him sputtering insults at him for no reason other than his looks. The shallow offences that otherwise bounced off him from years of practice cut deeper now, as if he was standing there bare for everyone to see all his insecurities free to mock and stab at for their own enjoyment.

“I can see through you, you know?” he took another dig at Colin, slurring his words, delivering them with a sneer and a pointed finger poking at him.

“Did you miscalculate the probability of getting laid? Were you not human enough for the lady or did she finally realize you’re nothing but a cold, emotionless freak?” he provoked Colin further, and that was the final straw. Something snapped. The contents of his third, still almost full glass splattered all over the bar and his surroundings as he slammed it down on the counter unceremoniously in frustration, showering a patron to his left in the sticky, amber liquid as he seized the assaulting man’s wrist with surprising force.

An unexpected punch in his face jolted him.

And then, full chaos erupted.

It was the first and only time in his adult life he let his emotions overtake him, but not because he failed to protect someone else. On the contrary, because he didn’t want to–or know how else to protect himself–anymore. He could barely breathe from the exasperation and the adrenaline rush; his rational mind shut down as his primal instincts, self-preservation, and a surge of righteousness consumed and energized him. He was clearly intoxicated, the two drinks and then some working their magic fast, making him somewhat disoriented, dizzy, his head buzzing; but it was too late and impossible to start analyzing odds at this point. His usually perfectly calculated and executed movements were sloppy yet somehow still effective, his Starfleet training and muscle memory taking over.

The fight quickly escalated as others joined in. It might have been the drinks he had but he remembered it unfolding like those 21st century comic-book fights he read about in the library as a kid. It was fascinating to see chairs flying, drinks being spilled in slow motion all over people and the floor; yells, curses, and the crashing of overturned furniture filling the air. Suddenly, a figure launched from behind the bar, landing squarely on the back of one of the brawlers attacking Colin.

The two of them–with a few returning patrons as he learned later–were able to contain the fight, Colin rendering half of the unruly ones unconscious with his Vulcan nerve pinch he was surprised to remember in his state. He had just dragged another drunken and now unconscious patron to the pile to “rest” when a booming voice, amplified with a conveniently found sonic emitter behind the bar cut through the remaining chaos then, momentarily stunning everyone into silence, giving them the opportunity to physically separate the last clinging brawlers.

“Security droids will be here momentarily, I suggest you all consider your next move carefully. If it’s not flipping those tables and chairs back to their original state…” they all heard loud and clear. And the bar miraculously hosted a scene he would not believe if he wasn’t there to witness it. Like misbehaving kids obeying their master scolding them, everyone started to tidy up and the bar looked like nothing happened in just a few minutes. Other than some broken glass and furniture pieces, one would think they had a keg break and flood the floor, but nothing else out of the ordinary.

After flipping the last barstool upright, he turned to the bartender, who was already serving drinks as if the bar just opened.

“Can I buy you one of your top shelf drinks as a thank you,” he asked. “Captain Colin Bridgerton, by the way, nice to meet a fellow officer.” He offered his hand to introduce himself. It takes one to know one.

“You forgot your middle name, Captain, I bet it’s Chaos,” the bartender said, giving Colin a scolding look, then a parse through the bar as an extended hand shook his. ”Nice to meet you Colin “Chaos” Bridgerton. I am Lieutenant Commander Michaela Sterling. My shift is over in an hour. You owe me a story after almost destroying my bar.”

“Fair enough,” Colin nodded, having a strange feeling that he just met his best friend.

----------------------------

Their scanners only showed two life signs in the house, both in the basement. After a quick perimeter sweep, ensuring they were careful and hopefully not triggering any sensors, they headed inside. They agreed to leave Greg at the front as scout as discussed and he was supposed to stay put at the entrance.

The house looked fairly average both inside and out, perfectly melting into the landscape of its surroundings. There was nothing to draw attention to it, and Colin understood why - it was the perfect camouflage. No one would suspect anything unusual to happen here, even if they peeked in through the windows on the ground floor.

But that innocent vibe changed fast as he was leading the group down the stairs to the basement, with his phaser ready to engage. At the bottom of the stairs, still hidden behind the wall leading them down there, he signalled a stop and then turned to Hyacinth and Michaela, indicating with his hand again that he would take a peek.

As Colin slowly peered from behind the wall, he saw a brown haired male, about his height, lean built with broad shoulders, working on some kind of data terminal. He was facing away from Colin, thankfully. He was fully engrossed in whatever he was doing, looking at a big screen displaying complex waveforms and some kind of data sequence Colin was too far away to see, let alone understand in another language.

As he scanned the room, he saw a shimmering containment field. His eyes opened wide as he took in the other life form represented on their scanners, laying on a bed either sleeping or unconscious, he couldn’t tell. For the second time today, he thought his eyes were betraying him, seeing something familiar he was not expecting to see at all. He pulled back, flattening against the wall, his mind racing, his heartbeat turning faster, and he took a few calming breaths. He had to pull himself together, he could not make any sense of this. Here, out of all places? Why? How? When? Questions like a flash flood stormed his thoughts derailing his plans to stay calm and collected as the leader of this mission should be. His body was betraying him, reliving that moment, seeing her hunched over, eyes scrunched, face contorted in pain. Then having to leave her, suspended between life and death.

Meanwhile, Hy and Michaela kept staring at him with wide eyes, and Colin could almost hear his sister’s voice in his head, asking all her questions with one breath, interrogating him impatiently like she used to do after returning home from his missions. Knowing her and her temperament, he acknowledged how proud he was of Hyacinth now for not bursting out like he knew she wanted to. Michaela was gesturing “What is it?” with her hands, too, but he was in no condition to explain why he looked like he'd seen a ghost.

He was running through various scenarios in his head until he found one that could grant him some privacy. He needed some time alone.

Without a second thought, he adjusted his phaser, turned the corner and shot the man, who collapsed over the table, then fell to the ground.

“Did you just shoot our only chance to find Eloise?” Hyacinth blurted out in horror as they followed Colin with Michaela, taking in the room, and seeing the man splayed on the floor, and the bed behind a force field.

“Hyacinth Bridgerton, I am the Captain of this mission,” he started. “I had my reasons,” he continued calmly, seeing her face go through a hundred emotions in seconds, from shock, to disbelief, to rage and settling on the most dangerous one, a murderous soul-piercing gaze. She was about to launch at him, mouth open to berate him when he finally realized he didn’t finish his sentence. “But do you really think I would risk our mission with such an illogical action?”

“So he’s not dead?”

“Of course not. I just wanted to make sure he was unconscious for a while. I realized we don’t know their physiology well enough, but he has a bigger frame so I adjusted my settings accordingly.”

“Oh-” she said, letting out a big sigh. “This has been very…educational,” she added with a faint smile.

“It’s ok, Hy. Learning to trust the judgement of our teammates is also part of this. I brought you here because of your skills, and to help you learn. Experiencing what working in a team is like during these missions will make you a better officer and a better teammate. It will also prepare you to lead your own missions soon.” He looked at her tenderly, as she nodded, her breathing returning to normal from a flaring dragon she was just seconds ago. “It’s your turn to shine now. Go check out that research console and see what you can find out.” Colin nodded towards the research station, where Michaela already checked and secured their new unconscious “hostage”, tying him to his chair.

“Yes, Captain.” Hyacinth was about to move when Colin stopped her.

“If you can find a way to lower that force field, I’ll give you extra credit,” he tried to sound official.

“But wouldn’t that be dangerous, we don’t know anything-”

“Just find a way Hy!” He gave her a stern look, but then changed it to a more pleading one.

“Who am I to question my Captain’s orders,” she sighed, and was on her way to proudly fulfill her first actual contribution to this mission.

“Thanks, Hy.”

“He’ll be out for a while,” Michaela interrupted them. “And I tied him securely, he won’t go anywhere.”

“Thanks, Mic. I’ll stay here with her. Can you check on Greg and do a quick sweep upstairs to see if you can find something there?”

“What are your plans for when he regains consciousness,” Michaela inquired.

“I hope Hy can find something to start with by then so we can ask more targeted questions.”

“Alright, your mission Cap! What about the one behind the force field? There must be a reason…” she trailed off. “Be careful, ok?”

“When am I not careful? Don’t worry about it, I’ll handle that.” Colin tapped and squeezed Michaela’s shoulder, to reassure her.

“Alright, I’ll be back as soon as I can.” With that, she jogged upstairs and Colin heard her faintly, checking in with Greg. He turned around and approached the force field.

“Have you found the force field off switch yet,” he inquired impatiently.

“You are very impatient, broth-, I mean Captain. I think it’s your turn to trust your teammate. Believe me I am doing my best. This is a completely foreign language, in case you forgot-”

“You’re right, I am sorry. I am just eager…” He gave a glance over his shoulder to Hy, attempting a faint smile to relax his face, “as we all are,” but he was still clutching his fists together. He would pound through that force field with his bare hands if he could.

“Not to be bossy…but shouldn’t you be looking around here too? Standing there staring at that field will not lower it. You know that, right,” Hyacinth said absentmindedly. “Also, I might not be able to lower it at all, so if I were you–I mean I am no captain or mission lead, but–I’d go to plan B and assume whoever is behind there will not be let out or questioned by us at all.”

Colin let out a frustrated groan, earning a questioning look from her.

“What was that for? We have another one here you can question,” she nodded towards the peacefully unconscious research fellow tied to his own chair behind her. “Actually, how long does that phaser stun really last? Maybe he’d be willing to help, if we asked him first…”

“Are you criticizing my decision, Ensign?”

“I just never pegged you for a ‘shoot first, ask questions later’ kind of guy. It seemed a bit impulsive, but that doesn’t make sense. So I concur, there must be a hundred reasons why it made sense to render him unconscious before we could ask him if he’d help us…right?! Right! I mean, you were most likely right assuming he wouldn’t…” She kept rambling, her mind clearly occupied by finding and listing those reasons as she tried to justify his actions.

“Hy, how can you multitask like that? Shouldn’t you be focusing on-”

“Contrary to your disbelief, I am absolutely capable of doing more than one thing at a time, without any efficiency loss. Must be my human side…” she exclaimed proudly. “Unlike you…” she muttered to herself, seeing her brother barely left the forcefield to look around. He was glued to it, pacing nervously, and she couldn’t figure out why the sudden obsession and inability to move away consumed her brother unlike anything she had ever seen before.

“I think there’s something that is being repeated here, I just can’t figure it out exactly yet. It’s been there and then deleted, like redacted in these files…oh, this must be their redacted log or something similar.” She kept rambling again as she typed away and buried herself in the data in front of her.

“Hy-” Colin started but she cut him off; she knew exactly what he wanted to say.

“The force field I know, I know, I am looking…foreign language, remember? It doesn’t really say ‘click here to lower the force field’ in Vulcan…you know that, right?” She wanted to give him one of her signature frustrated looks, but she found he was actually moving, looking around the room for clues. Another minute passed by when she hummed, scratching her head and Colin was right next to her in an instant. He looked at her expectantly.

“What is it, Hy? I know that look, that sound. You found something promising.”

“Well, there’s a 50% chance it’s an alarm or something else, like a full lock on the house...I am not really sure. I don’t want to lock us inside accidentally…I can keep looking…”

“But you thought it has something to do with the force field for some reason, right?”

“Yes, but-”

“I trust you and your expertise, Hy. I’ll take full responsibility for the decision but I need to know if there’s just one more percent chance either this way or that…”

“Okay, let’s do it…” she said, scrunching her eyes shut, then she looked up expecting her brother to still be by her side, but he was already at the force field. ”What is with you trying to get in there so desperately,” she asked, perplexed.

“Just been waiting for this-,” he said, eyes glued, glazed over.

“How could you have been waiting for this?” She was beyond confused. “Wait, you know-”

“Ensign Hyacinth Bridgerton, for the love of all Vulcans, press that button, will you?”

“Oh my, someone’s being…emotional?” She was surprised to say it out loud. “Here goes our freedom, or-”

Colin was beyond impatient by now, he waited what felt like forever for this moment. When he paced around the room looking for clues, his mind was elsewhere, occupied by only one thing, only one person. Ever since setting foot in this house he was on edge, dying to get inside that tiny part of the room he was torturously locked out from. He felt his heart rate quicken, his breathing became ragged, his head suddenly fogged up in anticipation. His whole body tensed, his jaw, his lips, his fists, his chest and shoulders, if Hyacinth did not manage to open this field he would burst out of his skin.

“Colin, we have to go-” Michaela’s shout from upstairs startled him. “Greg was outside for a quick scan and he saw two forms approaching, in cloaks like you mentioned they were wearing…”

The moment he heard Michaela’s voice, he turned around with agonizing pain and rage on his face.

“Hy, go-” he ordered her immediately.

“Colin-” she cried out, pointing her fingers behind him towards the force field and as he turned around, he was struck down. He felt a sharp sting as he gathered himself, finding his balance again.

“You are going to pay for what you did!” Colin growled, launching at the blond Solarian he immediately recognized as soon as he saw him lying on that bed. He never wanted to hurt anyone on purpose, but this man he thought was responsible for poisoning her… he did not deserve a shred of pity let alone worth wasting any energy to fight his own instincts to hold back. His fisted hand delivered a blow so forceful he staggered backwards hitting the bed disoriented and Colin was about to deliver another one as he launched forward again when he heard Hyacinth shouting “STOP!” as the force field re-emerged between them. The sudden realization left the two men enraged, both holding up their fists to deliver another blow with death stares in their eyes and jaws clenched tight as a steel trap. The Solarian, accepting his fate, being exactly where he was before, bared his sharp canine teeth at Colin accompanied with a deep, guttural growl. And Colin answered, likewise, leaving Hyacinth and Michaela dumbfounded and speechless.

“What in the world are you all waiting for? Do you want a written report? What part of ‘we need to leave now’ did you not hear? They are almost here!” They heard Greg’s cry from upstairs.

“Colin, let’s go!” Michaela tugged on Colin’s arm, as he was still staring at the Solarian, his whole body still ready to attack, veins visibly pulsing on his neck, his temple and his arm from the built up tension and intensity, his feet glued to the ground as if rooted there. Michaela gave him another tug “Colin, come on!”

As they moved towards the stairs, they found their “hostage” awake, staring at Hyacinth intently, then he looked at Colin and Michaela, then back to Hy. “You-” he mumbled almost unrecognizable, but Michaela urged them on immediately.

“This way, I found a back door we can sneak out there,” and she led them out of the house in a hurry.

They were all walking in silence, on quick but featherlight steps so no one could hear them leave. As they turned the corner and got out of sight, they started running, Colin nodding to Michaela to lead them back to the shuttle. He was running after them with a little delay, keeping an eye out, just in case the caped men decided to run after them.

Once they were back in the shuttle, all four of them sat down to catch their breaths, staring at the abyss in front of them, deep in their thoughts about all that had just transpired.

“What-” all four of them started almost as if they planned to sync up, asking their questions in harmony like a well-rehearsed song, except they all had different lines.

“What was that glance-” Colin wondered.

“What the hell happened downstairs-” Michaela chided.

“What in the universe did that man do to you-” Hyacinth blurted out.

“What’s that scratch on your face-” Gregory asked, worried.

Colin realized all three of them were looking at him.

“Let me take care of that first,” Michaela nodded towards Colin, looking at Hyacinth and Greg first, then she turned to Colin, “You have a pretty bad scratch on your cheek, Colin.” She stood and went to grab their medipac.

The tricorder registered a slight elevation in Colin’s white blood cell count, consistent with a minor inflammatory response to the scratch, so Michaela reached for a hypospray and applied a quick burst of anesthetic to the scratch. "Just a precaution. I'll also use a dermal regenerator to close it up. It'll be as good as new in a few minutes."

“Thanks, Mic!” Then Colin turned his attention to Hyacinth without hesitation, “Did you find anything useful after all?”

“Are we just not going to talk about-” his sister started, baffled.

“Hy, priorities,” Colin interrupted her.

“I get it, priorities are important but Col, you-” she froze mid-sentence meeting his gaze. “Alright, remember I said I think I found their redacted logs?” Colin nodded so she could continue. “Well, I also copied as much data as I could to this data chip…” She held it up to show off to everyone with a proud smirk.

“I am impressed, can you decipher it here?”

“That’s the issue, it’s a lot of data and needs translation too. I could do it much faster on the ship with all my tools and programs there to help,” she explained.

“I understand. Maybe you and Greg can return to the ship while we-”

“All due respect, Cap, I want Ben to take a look at you again. I mean, your scratch, just in case. I think we should all go back” Michaela added, but Colin knew this wasn’t really about a small scratch on his face. He felt his anger, a furious fire rising within him just thinking about that Solarian again.

“Col, there’s something else,” Hyacinth nervously chewed her lips.

“What is it, Hy?”

“I think the redacted logs reference…the palace. At least I think that’s the word that has been erased over and over again. If it happened only a handful of times, I wouldn’t mention it, but there’s more than just a few…”

“And are you sure the word is ‘palace’?”

“About 59% sure,” she added, worried.

“Alright,” their captain nodded all-knowing, and his team, knowing him as they did, could already tell he was working on some kind of plan.

“Alright, what,” Greg asked, breaking the silence. “So what’s the plan now?”

“I would have thought it obvious,” Colin added matter-of-factly. “I am going to break into the palace.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 5

Scars can heal?

Captain’s log, Stardate 6963.01

We continue our mission to find Serenity’s crew on Lunaria. My crew is in high spirits after learning I saw Ambassador Eloise Bridgerton well and alive. Unfortunately, we lost her again as she was boarding a vehicle we were not in position to follow at the time. With my landing team, we were able to search the house she was leaving from, acquiring a large set of data thanks to Ensign Hyacinth Bridgerton. She is working on deciphering and translating it as I speak.

“From a medical perspective, there is nothing, technically, wrong with you,” the ship doctor assured him, yet he was skeptical again. Because what was he supposed to do with these emotions that started to plague him, emotions he learned to suppress, he mastered to avoid over the years? There was no logical explanation for what he felt, this burning desire to punish that Solarian, to avenge her, to show her he was capable of protecting her from further harm. He was consumed by illogical feelings. Feelings, he tried to choke down. Unsuccessfully. Emotions he failed to shield his thoughts from.

History repeated itself, and he was medically fine. The logical action was to accept that diagnosis, because proving it wrong this time meant he wasn’t fine in the first place, either.

“Can you put this in writing?!” Colin asked Ben in all seriousness, with one of his eyebrows raised, adding some uncharacteristic dramatic flair that gave him away after all.

“You're joking! You’re joking? You’re joking?!” Ben verbalized his thought process as realization hit him. “Wait, I need to check you again, these scanners must be malfunctioning.” He shook his head, furrowing his brows.

“Don’t tell me that is a bigger red flag-”

“Colin, the last time I heard you crack a joke was…I don’t even remember…when we were kids? Definitely before Mar-”, he bit his tongue. It was an unspoken rule among the family that saying her name was taboo ever since his bond-break with Marina. “…a long time ago,” he finished his sentence after all.

“Well, there might be something in the local food, then.” Colin contemplated, while Ben’s eyes narrowed and then widened in disbelief. Was his brother seriously considering that? Because if not, this was another joke and then he’d really start to worry.

“Let me take a blood sample, just in case,” Ben said. ”It could serve as a baseline if things keep escalating.” He paused for a moment biting his lips, weighing if Colin was ready for a revelation he was about to share. “Colin, there’s one more thing I can think of, that may explain some of the emotional outbursts and the irritations you feel...”

“I wouldn’t go that far characterizing my behavior…well, maybe there’s some truth to it but for the record I don’t agree with that exaggerated statement.”

“I know it’s frustrating to realize we can’t do everything perfectly, especially in your position Colin, but you had a rough few days that could explain things-”

“Oh, I am far from perfect, believe me I know that all too well, Ben!”, Colin bewailed. “I am your Captain, in the middle of a very important mission I know I don’t have to remind you of. So don’t sugarcoat this: do you know what’s wrong with me?”

“Nothing is wrong with you, Colin! Nothing ever was,” Ben tried to soothe him, knowing that words like these, any implication he or what he did wasn't enough, bore emotional trauma for Colin–whether he knew and accepted it or not–and he wasn’t about to add to it. “You might just be experiencing the initial stages of Pon Farr,” Ben blurted it out finally.

“What-? But I am not bonded to anyone! And we are in the middle of nowhere! I have my duties, I have a crew I am responsible for. I need to keep Greg and Hy alive against all odds! I have a mission, I need to find AND save Serenity’s crew. I need to de-escalate this political situation heading to catastrophe between the Lunarians and the Solarians without getting them both infuriated with us, and I need to infiltrate the Palace to try to find Eloise as soon as possible. I don’t have time for…”

Ben just kept looking at his younger brother pacing back and forth, rambling off, with his fingers massaging his temples as if trying to remember the endless list of things he was supposed to do and solve, like the weight of the universe was pulling down on the last threads of his sanity and it was about to snap if he didn’t succeed in all of them.

As their eyes met, Colin’s pleading to tell him otherwise–anything would be better than this diagnosis–Ben was getting even more certain, without taking a look at any of his brother’s results. If his suspicion was true, they will all be well and truly, fucked. He just hoped in Colin’s case, it was going to be literally. Because the other two options were even more terrifying, and at this moment, much more likely.

“I’ll be honest, Colin. There isn’t enough research to be fully conclusive for our half-human half-Vulcan biology. Chemical changes associated with Pon Farr might be less pronounced or occur on a different timeline for us, so I won’t know for sure, I am really sorry. But let’s not fire our thrusters before disengaging the Coupling mechanisms.”

“Seriously Ben? You could have used ANY other metaphor and you thought this would be the best one in this particular situation? How about let’s not give the order to fire before targeting the enemy, or let’s not plot our course after entering warp? Or what about the good old horse and carriage?”

“Horse and carriage? That’s so 19th century Colin! You have no idea what could possibly transpire in a carriage left stranded without a horse to pull it…” Ben chuckled and wiggled his eyebrows.

Colin gave Ben an exasperated look, then took a big breath as he lifted his hand, to show the Vulcan hand greeting as he turned around to leave. “Goodbye, brother, it was nice knowing you, live long and prosper.” As he walked away, he hoped to leave his frustration behind, too.

“Col, don’t forget, taking your suppressants on schedule will help you feel better...” Ben shouted after him as he was leaving. Well, it should help Colin, as long as Ben was wrong. Because Pon Farr was their biological imperative, a fundamental part of Vulcan physiology tied to their reproductive cycle and therefore it could not be regulated with suppressants. On the contrary, trying to suppress such a powerful innate animalistic impulse to mate could have unintended side effects, potentially exacerbating the emotional distress or causing other physiological problems. For the first time in his medical history, Ben didn’t know how to help his patient, his own brother; so for the sake of Colin and this whole mission, he was really rooting to be wrong.

“Yeah, yeah, suppressants need to be taken on schedule to be efficient, I get it.” Colin repeated to ensure Ben he got the message as he left the sick bay, heading to his room to cool off.

-----------------

“Computer, show me all the research available about Pon Farr for half-human half-Vulcans.”

Colin spent the next thirty minutes reading all eight of them in contrast to the hundreds available for Vulcans. Instead of feeling better being equipped with knowledge and armed with solutions to his problem, the only thing that changed was his frustration and disappointment; they got worse, exponentially.

He basically had three options: 1, mate with someone, 2, fight someone to death (to help discharge the pent-up emotions and physical energy) or 3, die due to physical agony and mental insanity (given the physiological and psychological distress can become so severe that it can lead to death if not relieved somehow).

To his knowledge, none of his siblings went through it yet from their family–not that having such a conversation with either of them would be one he wanted to have right now–and the only person he could have asked about it, his father, was missing too. He was really out of options and contemplated but decided against talking to his mother just yet. She was human so she couldn’t speak from real experience and talking about his dad’s “urges” during Pon Farr while he was missing would have been too inappropriate and insensitive. So he was left to his own judgement, which wasn’t ideal in his current state either.

The logical option was number one, to mate with someone, however he would rather choose number three and die an agonizingly painful death if it meant mating the only available Vulcan crew member on his ship, Ensign Cressida Cowper. The problem wasn’t even with her willingness. On the contrary, her shameless flirting attempts–reasoning with logic why they’d make a favorable genetic match with her impeccable beauty and his smarts–made it clear she would be a willing participant. Colin shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut, trying to push away any and all thoughts about mating Ensign Cowper. She was an attractive woman in general opinion, yet the thought of her being his only option against probable death still didn’t make her a hair's width more attractive to him, nor did it raise the sub-zero chance of odds of it happening.

Captain's personal log, Stardate 6963.35

I am about to go on another mission, infiltrating the Lunarian Palace to follow our only clue so far. It may not have anything to do with, let alone lead me to, Eloise at all, but I have to try. Whatever is going on in Lunaria, the Palace wants to hide its connection to it; otherwise redacting that information so extensively would be illogical. I am proud of Hyacinth’s discovery and am expecting her to reveal even more soon as she continues to translate the data and make meaning out of it. At least we are making some well-earned progress regarding our mission.

Unlike in understanding my own predicament.

Ben thinks I might be going through Pon Farr for the first time. Life has a good sense of humor I don’t seem to understand. Why now? Why here? Why me? Though I am trying to find alternatives, it’s the only thing that makes sense and it maddens me further.

I’ve been feeling off recently, and I thought it will pass, that I’ve been through the worst, associating the way I am to missing my suppressants for two weeks. It was the logical–and only–explanation so far. But now I am torn. I am consumed by this newly awakened unsilenceable desire to make her mine, this primal instinct to protect her, combined with these outbursts of rage and anger I feel ever since meeting that Solarian that hurt her… All I can think about is that she’s mine, mine to protect and I don’t even recognize myself anymore. What right do I have to claim her as mine? If it’s my Pon Farr causing these thoughts…What insanity is this? I am a ticking time bomb and I can’t go near her even if I unexpectedly run into her because I can not trust myself.

The only explanation is that something triggered this in me somehow, but that also doesn’t make sense…unless…

NO…

The only other Vulcan on the ship is Ensign Cowper. If she is experiencing Pon Farr symptoms too, could that have triggered mine? And if I am asked to help hers…I…NO…

Computer open private messaging to Benedict.

Message from Colin: I’ve read the articles, Ben. Could another Vulcan on this ship trigger my Pon Farr? Because I do not…that is not even…that can not be a possibility! Please tell me that is not a possibility, Ben! It can’t be!

Message from Benedict: I’m afraid it is a possibility, according to Vulcan literature…but let’s not…shoot before we aim? Is my metaphor usage acceptable now, Captain?

Message from Colin: No. I feel a weird fondness towards the carriage one, though.

Message from Benedict: Noted. In that case, let’s not put the carriage before the horse, right? I’ll make some inquiries about her…health.

Message from Colin: Can you please do it as discreetly as possible? I don’t want this to become a ship-wide joke, Ben!

Message from Ben: Oh, come on Colin, what do you think of me?

Message from Colin: I don’t know…that you’d use your position and do a ship-wide search to find me a mate?

Message from Ben: Now you’re just giving me ideas, brother. Listen, a command like this: “computer red alert, our Captain needs to fuck to save his life and this mission, please instruct all eligible and willing crewmembers to report to sick bay immediately for mating compatibility check” would go down in history as the most dire of red alerts in Starfleet history, followed by a ship-wide malfunction of our transporters because they couldn’t bear the traffic, Colin.

Message from Colin: How did my ship doctor sign off on my health and sanity check, I wonder now?! Because what Captain is sane, willing, and ready to bring three of his siblings for a mission like this? Let alone have one vouch for him.

Message from Ben: Alright, I see your situation might be impacting your judgement, indeed. Your lack of appreciation of my talent in finding shocking new ways to test your emotional sanity and stability makes me wonder if I am doing a good job, Captain. However let me remind you, not so long ago you were the one cracking jokes.

Message from Colin: It was a temporary slip in a vulnerable moment, won’t happen again! And you can’t hold that against me as this is not funny anymore, Ben! I am seriously considering just sitting in the desert and dying after finding the Serenity’s crew, of course. But if I find that Sol- someone to fight with till death in the meantime–I hope they have gods to pray for forgiveness because I don’t know if I will be able to summon enough mercy in the end stages of Pon Farr based on what I read. So, please don’t make me consider you as an option. Though, who knows, my sanity might be cured with one less of you to worry about. What’s that saying: two birds with one stone?

Message from Ben: Oh, your sanity still seems salvageable, but your reasoning might be a bit flawed. I have reasons to believe Greg would be a much better choice than me to duel after all. On a more serious note, I don’t want to see you make a mistake and choose death instead of just fucking one of your crew members–a perfectly acceptable Captain’s privilege if you ask me.

Message from Colin: I think the only mistake was me ever asking for your help in the first place.

Message from Ben: I only tease you to keep evaluating you and you…passed?! Don’t worry, I'll figure something out. I believe a randomized health check is in order among the crew members now anyways. I’ll let you know as soon as I check in with her. How about a drink before you head out again. Just one, and a chat. As your brother and your doctor I want to make sure you’re really ready because what you told me is one of the most outrageous plans I’ve ever heard before and I am supposed to evaluate and sign off on your fitness before you can actually do it. So why don’t you take a short nap, it might help refresh your mind and get some more clarity and we’ll discuss this with clear heads and more facts at our fingertips.

Message from Colin: Alright, see you later Ben.

--------------------

“What’s this thing, it’s deli-cious,” Colin exclaimed as Ben entered his own room finding his brother already sipping on a drink from his secret stash.

“How many of those did you have, Colin?” Ben asked, a knowing smile starting to appear on his face.

“I don’t know…I guess it kept pouring itself into my glass…fancy little trick this drink does, very neat.” Colin slurred, pointing at the bottle on the little table next to him. “I didn’t know these glasses could do that…” he hiccuped, sipping another taste, savoring it with closed eyes, humming with joy. He let the liquid cover his tongue, smoothing it all over his mouth before letting it slip down his throat. He continued with a dazed look, slowly dragging out his words “it’s…so smooth and creamy…like…like her skin, Ben…and tastes…hmmm…so sweet…like…like her lips…though the smell is off, she smells so, so, so much better” he sniffed his fingers, inhaling for a long second, thinking about those moments she rubbed herself against his hand when he was soothing her fever. “And her hair…is like liquid sunshine, Ben.” Colin’s head fell back against the couch he was sitting on and he hummed again. “Hmm…she’s here every minute of the day, with me…in my mind she’s mine…”

“Col, how many?” Ben asked, amused, seeing his brother absolutely wasted for the first time in their lives.

“What do you mean?” Colin asked in a drunken drawl, shaking his head in confusion, lifting his hand in the air showing two fingers, before it fell back to the couch lifeless. “One…one beautiful mind…I saw her, truly saw her, Ben!” He smiled. “And two, she has two…beautiful…two full…two beautiful… breasts…and two of those blue eyes…they remind me of the blue pools…from the hot springs near our house…I just want to get lost in them…and her two hands…she could have cut my head off if she wanted to… I guess she didn’t!? Oh! Because she wanted to dance with me! It.Takes.Two.To. Dance.” He exaggerated each word. “What does that mean!?” He looked at Ben expectantly, as if he knew what Colin was talking about and could provide answers to all his delirious questions. “And her tiny legs…she still runs like a gazelle…and I am a big bad lion and want to catch her and eat her…I am hungry, Ben!”

“Alright, I think that’s enough-” Ben sat down right next to him, biting back a chuckle. He took away both his glass that was half full and the bottle of chocolate liquor. Colin detested him with a huff and whined, “No! Why can’t I have what makes me happy? She’s…She made me smile. Do I not deserve to be happy?”

Colin seemed to have found the only drink Ben kept for real emergencies. Vulcans could not get drunk on just any drink, but drinks with chocolate infused in them would do the trick, if a Vulcan–or half-Vulcan–had a few. Ben had a connection to a small distillery that did limited runs on request because such a pure distillation with the highest concentration of chocolate was a rarity and was made for special patrons–like Ben–only. If he really thought about it, this could qualify as an emergency. Colin has about a week, if he’s optimistic, before he descends into an impulse led feral animal state, unless... His blood test results were inconclusive as Ben expected but knowing his brother all his life, Ben was feeling more and more certain of his diagnosis.

“So I guess you changed your mind about Cressida?” Ben looked at Colin confused. “Does that mean you would consider, you know-”

“Oh, NO, ugh! Why would you ruin a perfectly perfect fantasy…I was about to get to the good part in my dream…”

“I guess I’ll call my supplier and order some more of this!” Ben joked. ”But before I do that, do either of you know what or who he’s fantasizing about if not Ensign Cowper?” Ben turned to Hy and Greg silently chuckling, still standing at the door, almost dying as they held back the laughter they just blurted out, unable to hold back after this. Colin was splayed out on the couch like a starfish, in an absolutely altered state of mind none of them had ever seen him in before.

“You know something!” Hyacinth narrowed her eyes on Greg, who avoided eye contact with either of them and turned crimson red as soon as she started eyeing him.

“He’s our Captain, I can’t betray him,” Greg said calmly, trying to save himself from spilling what was begging to slip out of his tightly pressed lips this whole time.

“He’s also our brother and is clearly going through something…something he might need our assistance with, discreetly, of course, for the sake of our mission,” Hy argued, and made her way to sit opposite Colin in a lounge chair, throwing her legs over the arm of it, but not taking her eyes off of him for a second. Colin seemed to doze off with a subtle snore.

“Sweet dreams brother, you lucky-” Greg bit his lips as he sat next to her sister in another lounge chair.

“Now that he’s out, spill it, Greg!” Hyacinth turned to his younger brother, “Who is Colin dreaming about?”

“Who do you think I am? A telepath, a 20th century gypsy medium or simply a mind-reader? How could you expect me to answer that?”

“Oh, don’t play games, Greg, you know I can beat you in every single one of them! Do you want me to remind you of-”

“Alright! But I really don’t know much…just that she is indeed, very pretty-” Greg trailed off, smiling to himself, unconsciously, as he recalled the beautiful stranger he saved by showing up with a medipac not even a day ago.

“Oh, you better stop those heart eyes, Greg, or Colin will end up challenging you to a duel and tear you apart in his state!” Hy warned him.

“Oh, wouldn’t that make you happy,” Greg quipped back.

“It would, but then I’d have to banter with Ben and Colin and what’s the fun in that?”

“Afraid of a worthy opponent, are we?” Ben asked with a smirk.

“Quite the opposite; you’re both sensitive souls, while Greg was trained well.”

“You wound me, little sister!” Ben faked a stab at his heart and a desperate look.

“I always ace my training practices and exams,” Greg proclaimed proudly.

“Exactly my point!” she raised an eyebrow, chuckling at both of them.

“Can we get back to the topic? I want to go and have a good night’s sleep before our mission tomorrow. We keep doing these in the early morning hours and that disrupts my sleep,” Greg intervened.

“You need your beauty rest, little brother? Or just some privacy to dream about Colin’s…what’s her name-”

“Princess! And she’s not Colin’s! I think…” Greg offered voluntarily, walking straight into her trap.

“A princess?”, Ben and Hy cry it out in unison.

“My princess,” Colin’s murmur made all three of them stare at each other then to Colin, who was still fast asleep.

“Shhh, you almost woke him up.” Greg quieted them, “Can’t believe he’s still dreaming about her…well, never mind, I can understand why…”

“Greg, focus! What princess?” Hy tried to snap him out of his reverie.

“Well, she’s not really a princess. I called her that because she was so beautiful as she was sleeping all curled up in the corner, and Colin said she was poisoned. You know, like one of those old bedtime stories mom used to read us about Sleeping Beauty.”

“How did Colin even meet her?”

“I don’t know, I just found them in a safe house. He looked very concerned about her. I don’t know how he knew about the poison, how they met, or how they got to the safe house either. I was simply looking for Col when he didn’t return to the ship after he sent us ahead. When I found them, she looked very pale and sick, yet the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Luckily I had a medipac so we did what we could to help her but we had to leave because the Lunarian Guards were after us.”

“And you just left her there alone, poisoned, between life and death?” his sister was shocked with disbelief.

“No, there was a guard-” Greg continued, but stopped, realizing he was saying too much again.

“I don’t understand-” Ben interrupted.

“Well, he was incapacitated after Col and I-”

“You killed a Lunarian guard?” Hy whispered in terror.

“NO, just made him unconscious after he found us with her. So now you know why we had to flee and leave her.”

“You could have taken her with you-” she started but Greg cut her off.

“Like kidnap her and tie her up? Drag or carry her through the market to our shuttle miles away? We’re Bridgertons. I told Colin we’re not crazy like that. I could never do that to anyone-” Greg tried to reason with her.

“So we don’t know anything about her?” Ben tried to get more information out of him.

“I didn’t want to pry, unless Col wanted to talk about it. And he didn’t. So that’s all I know about her. It’s not much but I kept it to myself. He looked very…what’s the word…worried and protective but also…smitten. For a second I was sure he’d stay behind and deal with whatever consequences he’d have to face. Can you imagine what they’d do to him if she didn’t survive and the guards thought it was him who poisoned her?”

“I can’t believe you used the word smitten,” Ben shook his head, Colin was not like that. The Colin they knew, wasn’t.

“Smitten. Right. Facing a death sentence on a planet in a volatile political situation like this knowing he still hasn’t found dad and Eloise and the crew, with another spaceship crew waiting for him to succeed in this mission so they can all return home to their loved ones…” She paused dramatically for a moment, to let her brothers process her words and give it time to sink in. “If she survives and we somehow find her, I bet he’ll want to marry her.”

“Death by Lunaria’s guard might be more humane than disappointing Anthony, I guess…and what if instead of him, she wanted to marry me? I saved the princess after all…” Greg added defiantly.

“My princess,” Colin muttered again, more possessively this time.

“But- Is he really asleep?” Greg looked at his brother suspiciously. Ben poked at Colin, hearing another “my princess” murmured before Colin turned to his side and awkwardly snuggled against him, hugging Ben tight with his arm that he just swung around him.

“Greg, for the sake of your own life, stop this obsession with her!” Ben warned him. “I think it’s safe to say Colin made his claim,” and he looked at Colin, peacefully snoring on him.

Greg huffed in frustration. “It’s not fair, I didn’t even get a chance to woo her.”

“Listen guys, the only reason you both know about my thoughts on Colin’s “condition” is because he is our brother and is likely going through something neither of us has ever experienced, but we will, at some point. And this is happening at the worst time possible for him. I want to make sure you, both of you, don’t tease him or make this worse. He already feels responsible for everything, and everyone, and every outcome of this situation and it seems, he might just have his heart captured by someone we don’t know at all for the first time since Marina.”

“For the first time, period. If you ask me. I never thought he loved Marina, just saying,” Hyacinth added smugly.

“We need to tread cautiously. His “condition” can make him vulnerable in ways we can’t anticipate. And we don’t know anything about her, she could be dangerous. Didn’t Colin mention something about her being able to slit his throat? What kind of woman-”

“I think it’s hot-” Greg interrupted, meaning to say it to himself but somehow stating it aloud.

“Greg! You’re going to get yourself killed! This is not a joke! If Colin thinks she is his…princess, he is going to get very possessive and aggressive as his Pon Farr takes over.”

“Alright, alright, Colin’s Petite Princess. PP?”

“Like your petite pipi? No! We are not calling her that Gregory! We’ll have a much better code name for our mission.” She was tapping her index finger against her lips, deep in thought.

“What mission? Don’t we have one already?” Gregory asked in confusion.

“If it was time for your first Pon Farr brother, do tell, would you want to get a chance to…how did you phrase it…woo the princess…and maybe…you know…be the lion to her gazelle as Colin so eloquently put it…or fight to death with someone or die in agonizing physical and mental pain?”

“Ok, I guess I get your point.” Greg surrendered.

“Besides, uhm…I found some references in the data…about the nature of the Lunarian mating culture. I need to confirm it, but it looks fairly similar to ours, based on bonded mates. So if Colin felt an attachment, there's a chance she did too…”

“I can’t believe I am scheming about getting Colin laid with my two little siblings.” Ben added, massaging his temple with his fingers, while inhaling sharply. “But only if she wants it too…”

“It’s not just about getting him laid, she made him smile, made him happy, Ben! And what more could we want, other than getting a new sister, maybe.”

“You already have three,” Ben pointed out.

“You're delusional, Hy! Maybe you should check her too, Ben!”

“I can’t help it, I have a good feeling about her.” She crossed her hands in front of her defiantly. “If she has both Greg and Colin wrapped around her fingers while she was unconscious and in pain, but she is also capable of skilfully harming them with her knife skills, she already won me over. Plus, if she was poisoned–logically, she must be someone important, powerful enough to piss people off or warrant her elimination–unless this is a normal practice here in Lunaria- what?”

“So we’re really doing this? Trying to find his crush to at least give Colin an option to…you know…woo her before it's too late? But we have to keep an eye on him, if he's too far gone, I can't let him near her, for both of their sakes…” Ben’s gaze wandered between his siblings, not wanting to spell it out for them.

“The only logical explanation for Colin to fall for someone here, and having his first Pon Farr triggered, is that he was meant to meet her, mission PEN is officially ON!”

“PEN? Why PEN?”

“Because the mission is two-fold: Princess Encounter & Nuptials.”

“Hyacinth Bridgerton! Don’t put the carriage in front of these two!” Greg tried to remember how to phrase this.

“It’s a bit presumptuous, but I’ll know more when I meet her. Maybe I can vouch for Colin.”

“How do you know you’re going to meet her? I am sorry, but right now we are not even sure if she is doing OK.”

“Because I am going to find her with your help, little brother,” she exclaimed with certainty. “But before that, I need to finish deciphering and translating the data from the house. Ben, you’re on Colin duty, get him to his bed, maybe give him something so he doesn’t wake up with a headache going on his hairiest mission in his miserable state. Greg, you’ll come with me, I’ll tell you what we need to do, then you can head off to sleep.”

“Since when are you the mission leader?” Greg asked her, looking at Ben, expecting him to support him.

“Do either of you have a clue on how to get started on finding her?” she looked at both her brothers with a smug smile tugging at her lips after the silence. “I thought so. This is settled then. Let’s find our brother a wife while we save Serenity and stabilize the relationship between the Lunarians and the Solarians.”

“Wow, we take her on ONE mission and she is already acting like she's been doing this her whole life.” Greg noted incredulously.

“Colin said I will lead my own mission soon. Soon is relative. In my definition and timeline, we have reached that point,” she exclaimed proudly.

“I bet he had no idea he was going to be your first mission to lead.” Ben laughed.

“Probably better if it stays that way, at least until their first child is born, then they can name her after me.”

“If it’s a boy, they can name him after me, little Greggy will be my favorite nephew.”

“Oh, no, he will be called Benedict.” Ben chimed in, while trying to untangle himself from Colin’s possessive hug, which he kept tightening the more Ben moved.

“So you two agree they were meant to be? That their individual choices led them–and us–to this very moment, our decision to intervene, so that this might shape their destiny and maybe, even the destiny of others in ways we can not predict-”

“When you put it like that it seems we are playing with fire, Hy.” Greg sounded worried under the sudden spotlight put on the weight of responsibility they were about to take on.

“Just a little spark and then we let them figure it out…” she whispered.

Ben finally untangled himself from Colin’s body that had been entrapping him. “Let’s just make sure no one gets burned…”

------------------------

For the second morning in a row, back on Number V, Colin woke up a mess, with a hard on, not even surprised after the dreams he started remembering vividly. The images were so clear in his mind, he could almost touch her, laying next to him on the bed, in nothing but his leather jacket…her skin was hot, her cheeks burning, she was radiating so much heat he could feel his own body warming up just imagining her. She bit her lip, and closed her eyes, as her hands started wandering, caressing her breasts slowly making their way down. She was drifting off to a fantasy while she was touching herself and Colin wanted to join her so hopelessly.

He started stroking himself, as images of her wading into a pool of cool water flashed in front of him. She was alone but somehow he felt her pulling him in, felt the desperate need to be together and he wished he could be the water surrounding her. To touch her body everywhere all at once, to feel and soothe her heat as she immersed herself in him, to gently caress her skin with every movement she made, to dance with her in every swirl and wave crashing into her form as she moved and swayed. To seep into every crevice, to envelope every curve, to discover every inch of her body. To feel her lips, her tongue savor him, to be the one quenching her thirst, giving her life. He wanted her to crave him the way he wanted to become one with her, mind and body, inside and out. Just her and him–in whatever form–he could be with her.

Colin’s breath grew ragged, his panting out of rhythm as he kept thrusting into his own hand, imagining their bodies entangled, hers, floating in joy in the water, his, keeping her there as long as he could with every move.

When she swam to the edge of the pool, each stroke of hers struck another electrifying pull on his body, yet as she kept moving against him, the weight of her body clashing against the density of his water form, he felt all his tension dissolving. Her body released all her heat and he soaked it up, now scorching hot instead of her. She slowly emerged from the pool, his water form tugging on her skin as if she was slipping out from under his fingers. He was not ready to let go of her yet.

He transformed to be the air around her. To hug her as the warm sunlight, to evaporate every drop of water off her body like peppering her with tender kisses. To tousle her hair and tickle her with it as he twirls it around to hear her laugh. He wanted to be the breath she takes and the one she exhales, he wanted her to need him to live, and to dedicate his whole existence to take care of her, to nurture her, to make her happy. He needed her to need him the way he needs her to live, to exist. And in his dream she gave herself to him fully.

When he finally came, it was incomparable to anything he had experienced before. The bond they shared, the intimacy of surrendering to and relying on each other so deeply in such a delirious fantasy shook him. Everything with her, about her was…more. And he had no idea how to handle it. Embrace it? Suppress it? Avoid it all together? But how could he, when she was already a part of him.

Captain's personal log, Stardate 6964.84

I keep dreaming about her…in ways I’ve never done before or thought would be possible. I don’t know if it was the liquor or my current condition…or both…

And I know this is delirious, pure madness, because it’s impossible. Impossible to feel this way and impossible because I have no idea how to find her on this planet. I don’t know anything useful enough to even begin to find her…

I am afraid my Pon Farr is making me feel and do things I shouldn’t. I am afraid this is all in my head and none of this is real. What we shared, what I feel.

But I also don’t want to lose it. And what it means. What it could mean. That I am not fully broken. That one day, I can still find happiness, the way mom and dad did.

I often wonder, did she feel any of this? But why would she? She doesn’t know me and all I did was leave her behind. I couldn’t take care of her, I couldn’t protect her. I couldn’t even avenge her! That damn force field!

I failed her already. Why would she want me anyways? Someone who can’t even do the most basic but most important things in life. Take care and protect their loved ones.

Even if I had a chance, I can’t meet her like this! Not until I am over my Pon Farr. Because what if I hurt her?

Or what if she rejects me the way Marina did?

That thought gave him pause. He was not ready to find out, because piecing himself back together again felt impossible.

At least he didn’t have to worry about running into her to face his biggest fears. It’s not like he was heading to meet her anytime soon.

--------------------

Hyacinth Bridgerton was not the type to give up on anything easily. She had an unwavering dedication to her field, to make meaning out of things that were gibberish for others. Whether it was another language, a pattern, massive amounts of inconsequential data, or a code to crack, she embraced it all. To uncover truths, to dig and unearth things that no one else could. She had strength and determination to push through any obstacles, and her wit–she liked to imagine was a gift from her mother’s side–combined with the necessary training to succeed in her field, and anything she put her mind to.

So it was no different this time, she was hunting for the treasure, that one piece of information that could change everything. She spent her whole night trying to translate and make meaning out of all the random information she was able to save to the data chip. She had been up for over 24 hours by now, yawning into her cup, desperately willing her eyes to stay open in the last stretch of two hours, ever since she found something promising to look into. She has always believed that data and information was power, and those who knew how to interpret it had the rare privilege to think steps ahead of everyone else. And that is why, rubbing her eyes for the third time before reading the file once more, when she opened them again, she was still in shock.

Computer, open a video channel to Benedict.

“Have they left already?” Hyacinth started eagerly.

“Good morning to you too, sister! Did you mean Colin, Greg and Michaela?“

“Have they left, Ben?” she asked again, impatiently.

“Yes, about an hour ago, why? They must be on the ground by now.”

“Could you take a look at a few files for me really quick? I need you to confirm I am not reading this wrong, Ben.“

“Hy, what’s wrong?”

“Just take a look at the files I just sent, they’re already translated. Please, Ben!”

“Alright, I am looking-”

“I’ve been up all night, deciphering the data and translating hundreds of these files, Ben. Is there a way to reach the shuttle, or them?”

“No, the ion storm got so bad we lost comms soon after they left, but it should clear up in a few hours just enough to reestablish contact with them. Why, Hy, what’s going on- Oh!”

“Keep reading, Ben!”

“This is not good, Hy! This-”

“It’s wrong on so many levels…I can’t believe it either!”

“The implications of this…the Federation will never accept this, no matter their reasoning.”

“There’s more, Ben.” Hyacinth looked at her brother, both of them now drowned in worry, her hands on her cheeks as she shook her head in disbelief. “File number sixty-nine.”

“I am looking, Hy…Is that a file of…”

“I believe it is. That Solarian we encountered in the house, he had an illness, Ben.”

“And you think the Lunarian virus made him sick? A sleeper virus?”

“Yes,” her voice somber, so low and sad, Ben could barely hear it. “And Ben, Colin was exposed to it. The scratch on his face that Michaela healed on the shuttle, it was from that Solarian.”

“That would explain- Oh. Hy, the file says the virus could be deadly-” Ben froze as the realization hit him.

“I know.” She finally collapsed, into her chair, her face buried in her palms, as tears started streaming down her cheeks.

Chapter Text

Chapter 6

"Remind me again," Michaela grumbled, "whose brilliant idea was it to infiltrate the most guarded place on this planet? When I offered to be your wingman back in my bar, I didn't mean literally,” Michaela said as they were mounting their equipment.

“I believe it was your idea to drink that whole bottle of Saurian Brandy and offer to be my wingman for life if we survive it.”

“Well, it was the most efficient method to get you to talk, to help you remember and forget at the same time.”

"Well, this was the most efficient method of bypassing their security and getting us inside the palace walls at the same time," Colin replied smugly. “It avoids the potential complications of having to disarm a dozen guards at each entry point."

"Right, because plummeting from several thousand meters is so much less complicated," she quipped.

“I thought it was on your bucket list.”

“To enter a fortified palace by falling out of the sky? Probably right into the hands of hundreds of enemy guards? Who are you and what have you done with my best friend? He used to persuade me with insightful statistics rather than reminding me of deadly earthly customs.” Michaela bantered.

“I have calculated the probability of a successful landing at 87.3%. The remaining 12.7% accounts for unforeseen variables, such as sudden gusts of wind, poor visibility, the possibility of encountering hostile aerial objects…or beings,” he glanced at Michaela furrowing her brows for a second, “and suit malfunctions."

“How promising,” Michaela said sarcastically. “You won’t even address the extended free fall and the lowest hard deck altitude I’ve ever heard of?” she asked, putting her helmet on.

“We have to deploy the parachutes at the absolute last minute to stay undetected, Mic. You know that. A little height difference will be fine-”

"Oh, I'm not afraid of the height difference. I'm afraid of the sudden stop at the end." She raised an eyebrow at him.

"Well, if we miss the landing zone, at least we'll make a dramatic entrance," Colin scoffed.

“Why do I have a feeling there will be plenty of drama either way?”

“I’d say you’re wrong…” he trailed off, taking a moment to think, “but Vulcan’s don’t lie,” he finished nonchalantly. He reached for his helmet, put it on, and checked his suit and his equipment for the last time. He hand signalled all ok, double checking with Michaela as well, before opening the hatch.

The Lunarian night sky welcomed them with open arms, the force of the wind entering the chamber so powerful it almost knocked them down.

“Did you calculate the chance for that as well?” she teased him.

“For drama to happen? Oh come on, I am not that theatrical.” And with that, Colin lifted his hand to signal the Vulcan hand greeting to Greg, giving him a goodbye nod and jumped out with a gainer.

“Show off!” Greg scoffed. “Of course he had to do a fancy exit like that.” He shook his head, rolling his eyes at his big brother's antics.

Michaela adjusted her wingsuit, checking the readings on her wrist-mounted display. "Trajectory confirmed.”

“You good?” Greg asked genuinely concerned.

“These suits practically fly themselves, right? What could go wrong?” And with that, she waved goodbye and jumped after Colin.

If the palace was arming their defense systems aiming straight at their hearts, at least she could not see it in the darkness that swallowed her.

-------------------------

The moment Colin jumped, he felt a sudden levity.

Ever since he woke up, his skin was itchy and tight, as if it shrank to a size smaller overnight; he was uncharacteristically irritated, snapping at minor things that otherwise prompted a polite note offered to his hard-working crew.

Number V, with its vastness, endless corridors and bright lights oddly felt like a prison, caging him in, the heaviness of the air suddenly weighing tons around him. He had the urge to just get out, to escape this, and his own ship as soon as possible.

A nervous buzz overtook his body, something was changing in him but he couldn’t pinpoint what, where, or how exactly. He looked the same from the outside, and from the inside too, based on Ben’s scans, yet deep down he knew he was changing in ways he could not explain.

He tried to focus his breathing, to calm his racing heart rate, to shut out the flickering lights that made him flinch, the sharp and loud sounds hammering in his head with terrible echoes. And the intensifying smells, of himself, of others, of oils and gases, of metal and sweat.

He had to get out of there, away from all these impulses overwhelming him all at once, attacking every inch of his body and mind, rendering him incapable of staying tethered to what–whom–he used to know as Colin. If he could, he would have left behind his own self.

What was happening to him? Was this the Pon Farr? Or was it something else, something far more sinister?

He missed his dad, someone to talk to, someone who knew what he was going through, to guide him, to help him understand and overcome whatever was overtaking the remaining shreds of him.

He was supposed to lead the briefing but he asked Michaela to take over while he put Greg in charge of their flight details. He couldn't even think straight. His thoughts, like bees on a warm and sunny early morning, swarmed out to forage on the meadow of his blooming sensations and feelings.

Even the familiar comfort of their shuttle offered no respite. As he entered, the minimalist interior and the surrounding vast darkness of space around initially soothed him, though he soon realized the confinements of the small cabin started to irritate him the same. Nothing was right suddenly. His obsession and inability to decipher the unknown amplified the growing fever within him.

He was losing control, and he knew it. An unrecognizable primal urge, a low thrumming in his blood, was rising, insistent, terrifying, like a wild animal trying to claw its way out of his very being. He felt the need to dominate, to claim something, to protect what’s his at all cost; feelings utterly foreign and uncharacteristic of his rational, calm and collected self, adding to his confusion and inner torment.

He was running hot, almost feverish, his skin dry, like the scorching heat of the Vulcan desert. His suit entrapped his warmth, the burning sensation making him sweat, beads forming on his forehead, and yet, a shiver ran down his spine as he opened the hatch and a gust of cold air suddenly hit him. The frigid air did little to soothe his inner fire, and a surge of restlessness swept over him, his fingers nervously tapping on his wrist-mounted display. His impulses eluded him.

There was no more time for hesitation, it was now or never.

He checked his suit and his trajectory once more, nodded his goodbyes, and with a burst of raw, untamed energy, he leapt forward.

The sudden exit and the chill knocked the breath out of his lungs. He refilled them gasping for air like taking his first breath; to ground himself, to cool himself, to freeze this moment, his thoughts, his body, to feel as if he was suspended in ice for a second.

When he finally looked around, the darkness of the night covering the city far away calmed his other senses. No more loud, odd or weird smelling crew mates, no surprisingly enticing smell of bacon, either. An Earth food he hasn't fancied before but found irresistible, leading him all the way to the mess hall of his ship despite the early hour to the surprise of his crew on night duty making them on their break.

No more rattling and buzzing and creaking sounds driving him crazy from the ship’s electronics and systems; just the calming roar of the wind, a constant push against his body, an even weight all around him, somehow dissipating his tension, whisking away his worries.

His mind calmed. No longer suffocating under the weight and pull of all the things he was supposed to be, he was supposed to do; to solve and shoulder. As soon as the hatch opened, his tangled, worrying thoughts got sucked out, leaving behind a vacuum of sacred emptiness, a promise to restart fresh, anew. Lighter.

He was concentrating on one thing and one only: to successfully land, to survive.

And it was freeing.

To be at the mercy of nothing and no one in particular. For a moment, to have nothing to be expected of. To yield his body to the forces, while his unconscious instincts slowly started their awakening; the rush, the thrill, the adrenaline breathing new life into his weightless body with the aim to tame the untamable and stick that landing.

A warning beep from his suit’s altimeter snapped his attention back to reality while his mind’s muscle memory took over, running through his invisible pre-landing checklist, task after task with practiced precision. The previous lightness he felt vanished, tension coiling in his muscles as he prepared for the impending parachute deployment.

The palace, like a precious jewel in the vast sea of darkness, shone bright underneath him. His target drawing near with every passing second and feet of altitude he lost; its unusual shape, sharp lights and sheer size compared to the city of thousands of lights stunned Colin for a moment.

Another beep jolted him into action, the parachute’s sudden tug, its abrupt, forceful opening became the last reminder of a carefree, uncomplicated world.

The transition was instant, his adrenaline flushed body calmed lightly, lulled by the gentle sway of the blooming canopy above him. Serenity surrounded his body; a sharp contrast to his inner turmoil, his mind racing a hundred paces per second, the turbulent whirlwind of his thoughts reclaiming their rightful place. The violent rush of the wind against his body tamed to a faint hum, and almost pleasant, steady, cool blow instead of an ice cold blast.

As his harness stretched tight under his weight and his body readjusted to floating above the Lunarian city lights, he took in the view once more. Above him, Lunaria’s moons glowed bright, hung high up on the night sky, among hundreds of tiny, twinkling stars. Below him, the rare beauty of flickering lights, inlaid with golden, red, blue and white streaks left behind by moving vehicles; live brushstrokes painting a unique artwork unlike any he has seen before. It reminded him of why he was doing this in the first place. For moments like this. Unexpected, thrilling, but driven by purpose.

The ground, just a blur moments ago, was fast approaching; his peaceful descent interrupted by his helmet’s screen lighting up with the planned landing zone in sight, bringing his mission to the forefront of his mind again.

“Mic, follow my lead.” Colin messaged her through their helmet’s comms device.

“Aye, aye Captain,” she confirmed, with their usual playful quip.

Colin started making subtle adjustments, shifting his body, playing with the toggles like famous pianists composing music, each tug and draw intentional; precise maneuvers controlling the descent, the pace, the glide. He timed the subtle lift and the dramatic deceleration with meticulous precision for a smooth, controlled touchdown.

Time seemed to slow down, the world quieted around him, while his senses sharpened for a moment; focused, aware of every inch, being in total control of his whole body. As his feet gently touched the ground as soft as a whisper, a blast of conflicting emotions flooded his mind. The pressure and pull of the harness around his torso contrasted by the stillness of the ground; the adrenaline rush and exhilaration blended with the relief washing over him, a sense of calmness and peace settling in.

Just as he was about to collapse his parachute after the perfect landing, his luck abruptly changed. A sudden gust of wind caught his canopy, making him lose control. He was dragged to the ground, pulled towards the edge, the force of nature showing his true face as he tried to tame it. He did it once, he thought, he wasn’t about to give up; but he tumbled and fell nonetheless for his invisible enemy was relentless. He rolled all the way off the edge of the roof, tangled up in the parachute’s cords and landed on a terrace with a muffled thud.

“Ouch!” A silent curse slipped out of his mouth as he immediately stood, cutting off the tangled strings. He quickly checked for guards while dusting off his wingsuit, not wanting to risk discovery and the wrath of the Lunarian royal guard, or potentially triggering interstellar diplomatic tensions. Getting caught not only threatened his life, but his whole mission to save Serenity’s crew. Getting caught meant failure, and it was the worst outcome he had to calculate with. What’s a whopping 38.7% chance for that?

As he stood on a terrace he’s never seen before, on the grounds of a palace he just invaded and only ever saw from birds-eye-view up until now, on a planet, in a faraway galaxy from what he calls his home; he felt unexpectedly at ease. A very faint, lingering scent in the air he couldn’t decipher was enticing him, luring him towards a closed double door.

The closer he stepped the higher his surprising calmness soared despite his frustration with himself and the newly forming bruises paining him momentarily, due to his unfortunate tumble and fall.

An unusual yet strangely welcomed fog began to settle over his mind, the clarity he so desperately wanted to hold onto slipping away. The numbing sensations soothed his logic-ridden mind and were a balm to his tired, aching body. The apparent instinctual pull towards the flickering light and that precious, unique scent had an inexplicable power over him. The more he tried to push it away, the stronger it pulled him towards opening a random door in the palace. His fingers lingered above the knob before they tightly wrapped around it. The coolness of the metal against his palm, a sensory reminder to stop, yet he was ready to give in to his sudden desire, his curiosity despite his best judgement.

He heard a soft thud, and a slight rustling sound behind him.

“What do you think you’re doing?” The same question he was asking himself, now spoken aloud in the night’s heavy darkness, no longer concealed.

-------------------------

“Are you sure about this, Luna?” Rae asked her, concern weighing her voice down.

“I can’t focus, I can’t sleep, let alone make sane decisions like this, Rae. I’ve used my pulse stone more times than I dare to confess to you and it’s not helping. I got the suppressants too late this time.”

“You shouldn’t have run away like that. Where on Luna’s moon were you? You should have taken me with you. I could have helped. Once we knew your heat was coming I could have gotten you the suppressants.” Rae pleaded with her, a big, frustration and worry filled sigh leaving her. She was usually more composed, but knowing Penelope her whole life, growing up within their household, she knew how serious things were given the circumstances.

“I know, I always managed to curb it in time somehow. But this time, it’s different, Rae. I can feel it. The suppressants are not enough. I have to take one of the lords.”

“Whatever you did galivanting around the city for so long, I hope it was worth it! Because you know what that means… if they mate you and end up knotting you… You’d be forced to take them as your consort to rule.”

“I know Rae, but with how dire the situation is right now, we might not have a place to rule tomorrow. I have to do this for my planet, our primedom. Many of our previous primes have sacrificed love and the soul-bond for stability and peace before…”

“Not in the past 100 years though…”

“Don’t talk to me about fate, Rae. You know it’s not possible. She’s gone and who knows if she’s even alive. It’s on me to save our planet and I can’t do it in my current state. I just want to rub myself all over…” him - she finished her sentence in silence.

“But you were destined to-”

“Bring me the blond lord, Rae. The one with brown eyes, not blue ones. I don’t have time for fairy tales anymore.” She was done with arguing and in truth, couldn't bear the thought of taking any mate who resembled him. The prevision of her life was becoming a painful reality, a constant reminder of her loss.

Growing up she dreamed about meeting her true mate and experiencing the soul-bond only privileged families got to enjoy in light of the recent events. She should have been mated by now; her status in the line of succession put a heavy expectation on her to do it soon. An expectation that she mastered escaping with a desperately waning hope–using suppressants to avoid and postpone the inevitable.

Her true mate was nowhere to be found, and though years of waiting taught her acceptance, deep down, she never gave up hope for something magical to lead him back to her.

And now she ran out of time.

Her whole body was aching for a release, for him to mate her, knot her, bond with her.

She was heating up again, she had been fighting fever for days and her frequent plunges in her nest’s pond and…with her pulse stone, provided only temporary relief. She had to do what nature intended her to do, whether she liked the one she was doing it with or not.

‘Yes, my Prime. I’ll prepare him for mating.”

-------------------------

“I wonder which one of us is going to be the lucky one?” the dark blond male asked, turning to his company. “I can’t wait to tame that fire in her and make her beg for my cock. She must be desperate already to have us come in and get tested.”

“They must be desperate indeed, presenting you as an option,” the other blond, with a matching beard, scoffed, measuring him up, with clear distaste in his voice.

“There’s not that many of us left from those houses, with eligible lords descending from purebloods and available on such short notice, given the current circumstances. You’re lucky you're one of them. Because I doubt she’d value anything other than your DNA…even that's questionable,” the third, dark brown haired taunted.

“You act like you don’t want her at your feet. Don’t pretend you don’t enjoy the thought of having a prime like her on her knees, sucking your cock and whimpering to take her because she can’t bear it anymore,” the first one continued his revolting thoughts.

“You’re foul! I hope they take into account more than just genetics. Whoever she mates will likely end up to be the father of her pups, and her conso-” the light blond lord reasoned.

“Exactly,” the dark blond scowled devilishly, interrupting him. “And will get to fuck her–and hopefully the majority of the court too–an orgy for life with prime pussy everywhere. An Alpha’s dream!” He smiled wickedly.

“As if anyone would choose to fuck a blond lord on purpose…” the third one added sarcastically.

“Hey!” the lighter blond snapped, “mind your assaults, Remington, is it?”

“Yes,” he nodded, before continuing to pour salt on the open wound, “but you can't blame me for pointing out mother nature’s faulty genetics.”

“Being blond is not a genetic error,” the light blond corrected defensively. “You know she is blond, too, don’t you?”

“You're right, my apologies! Lord Debling, right?” he asked and after the other lord bowed to confirm accepting his apology, Remington continued. “Being an absolute prick has nothing to do with his hair color,” he nodded towards their insufferable company.

“I don't care what you two are saying, I have the same right to be here and once she chooses me, I’ll show her who’s the man of this house. I won’t be gentle with her. I'll enjoy making her obey, like the good little Omega she should be,” the loathsome lord snarked.

“As if…” The other blond scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“You have no idea what you’re talking about. Have you even met her?” Remington inquired, the voice of reason still trying to make its way through his comments.

“No, but I don't need to, all Omegas want to be dominated,” he sneered.

“I wonder how he got to that conclusion,” Debling added, shaking his head in disbelief.

“He clearly has not lived on this planet ruled by the most powerful Omegas, our primedom prospering for hundreds of years because of them-” Remington tried again, but got caught off.

“And look where it has gotten us now! I've seen the world and believe me, most places have their females serving their males, a much healthier dynamic if you ask me. And the most advanced species don't even have heats driving them crazy. We’re evolutionarily behind.”

“At least he admits it,” Debling quipped back.

“Do you think he even hears himself talking about his nonsense?” Remington asked, running his hand through his brown hair. “I have no idea how he made it here, he's clearly a special kind of species. Evolutionally behind all of us.” He massaged his temple, sighing.

“Which means we're not that far ahead either. Unfortunately,” Debling agreed, conceding.

“I hope she chooses wisely,” Remington glanced at Debling with a telling look, “and remains brave, forging her own path forward.”

“I plan to fuck every ounce of defiance out of her but you do you, I guess…” the blond lord grinned with a predatory gleam in his eyes.

Colin’s blood was boiling. This asshole’s disrespect toward women ignited his righteousness. On Vulcan, (Vulcan) women were equals. Hearing the poisonous words sputter from that wanker was raising an uncontrollable urge to show him true domination if he kept talking like that.

The lord’s words triggered an almost allergic reaction, echoing the assaults he’d witnessed against his mother for being human back on Vulcan. A primal need for justice and possessive protectiveness surged in him, setting off his urge to right the wrong somehow.

As two of the lords were escorted inside, Colin assumed the third one was finally abandoned, his audience denied, punishing him for his callous comments. He was absolutely unworthy to step foot in the palace.

Colin could feel the wretched smell emanating from him, making his stomach turn, bile rising at every second watching that man roam free. He should be locked up instead of him, he thought.

Colin was pacing the length of the room, his hands fisting, his gaze turned stormy and threatening. He was ready to give his own lecture to that lord, muttering his own retorts under a clenched jaw. His tension coiled further, being restricted behind bars, his inability to address each of his offensive words directly feeding his fury.

Just as his rage reached its peak, a sudden shiver coursed through him. His attention snapped, breaking away from the monologue he was preparing. A wave of strange symptoms spread through him, continuing his unconscious reaction to something far more alluring. Goosebumps rippled across his skin as his whole body flared up in a sudden heat. His nose itched, his nostrils flared, something tickling, enticing drifting through the cracked open window, putting all his senses on high alert. The cold breeze, a fleeting chilling caress to his feverish skin, carried another surprise. A waft of a faint scent so familiar. It somehow soothed his raging, furious mind while making his heartbeat pick up, racing to a rhythm, beating out a word…that simply wasn't a possibility. His logical brain kept shutting down each new sound calling it out.

He was suddenly drawn to the large window fortified with metal bars to cage in whomever was put in this cell. He inhaled deeply, resting his forehead on the cool metal as he slowly raised his gaze to take in the view again.

And that's when he saw that bastard lord lurch forward.

His heart stopped as he traced his path to find out what made him pick up his pace.

And there she was. Unmistakable. Unharmed. A true vision in golden sunshine yellow. Blissfully unaware of the danger she just fell victim to.

Colin blinked, rubbing his eyes in utter disbelief. Was he going mad? Hallucinating?

Were his senses fooling his mind or the other way around? Because what he saw with his own eyes was impossible. It simply made no sense.

She froze mid turn, glancing back toward the palace, and just for a brief second Colin thought maybe she saw him…but then her attention suddenly snapped back and she started running through the garden, towards the tall, green maze, just about a hundred meters away. Nervously peering back towards the lord chasing her. He was catching up to her fast, entering the vast, live hedge labyrinthine maze right after her.

Colin’s heart almost leapt out of his chest, beating frantically seeing her alive. Yet again, she was running for her life, and once more, away from him.

“Mine!” he growled with a rumble roaring from his chest, a loud and clear declaration vibrating through him. His pupils blackened to the brim, another surge of adrenaline pumping in his veins, his hands fisting, a primal need to protect her overtaking him. A sensation of tender but all-consuming possessiveness mixed with wild rage so powerful – to run after her, save her, claim her – he knew nothing could stop him from it. Not even his seemingly fortified confinement.

The surge of beastly energy mixed with a rush of untamed power overtook him. His hands fisted around the cool metal bars in his fury, sweaty from his nerves, slipping as he tightened them, squeezing and letting go as his impulses peaked. He pulled his palms away, rubbing them on his thighs to dry them and allow for more purchase. This time, his fingers moved with intent raw and primal, each finger grabbed onto the metal rods imagining his grip melting away the structure, willing it to bend to his will as if it were nothing but malleable ore under a blacksmith’s expert hands. He was prying them apart with his bare hands, every single one of his upper body muscles engaging to conquer the resistance. The metal yielded momentarily, almost snapping at the sheer force stripping them away from their hundred year old grave as he pulled them apart, revealing his way to escape.

He jumped to the sill, ready to leap, only taking a quick second to plot his path, down the expanse of the roof a couple stories beneath him, a 100-foot jump to an adjacent balcony followed by a final plunge to the ground.

The moment his weight tipped over the edge, two curious blue eyes widened in absolute shock, just entering at the other side of the room, witnessing the lethal drop.

“Colin?"

-------------------------

“Colin?” He heard her voice call out his name in a desperate plea as he jumped. A faint sound so sweet to his ears, as his mind entangled reality with his deepest fantasies of her whispering his name. But why like this? So frightful and in anguish; wrecking his heart while he frantically tried to catch up to her.

He couldn’t fail her again.

Memories of their last chase shattered his focus for a second. She got poisoned because he wasn’t fast enough.

The startling haze of helplessness consumed him. Being weightless mid-jump even for a few seconds, he felt his power and control whisked away. His worrying thoughts, vision of her panting anxiously, her loud cries for help echoing through his thoughts, clawing at his heart–came to an abrupt halt as he landed on the rooftop after his death-defying plunge. He immediately rolldodged. His combat training kicked in instinctually, to minimize the impact on his already inflamed body after the bone-jarring loud thump that expelled every last bit of air from his lungs. Ignoring the throbbing pain, he sprinted onward. A blur of motion, toward the balcony, his only way down to the ground.

To her.

He saw a glance of her in the distance. Bright yellow sunshine peeking through the tall, dark green walls of the maze. A looming shadow, a dark lord, drawing near behind her.

He wasn’t being fast enough.

Another jolt of energy coursed through him. The wind howled, his heart hammered in his ear to the rhythm of the pounding of his footsteps. The rooftop tiles, slick with dew, offered little purchase as he sprinted towards the edge. The invisible cliff was fast approaching. He accelerated even further, not letting his burnt out legs get a respite, the pressure of making this jump building up in him. He was but a streak of lightning before he lunged, soaring through the cool morning air. The roaring wind that already betrayed him once today, was revengeful yet again. It tore against his body catapulting across the precipitous ledge, trying to close the vast distance.

He was falling to the abyss, the drop launching him on his course to an inevitable collision. He slammed into the banister with a muffled cry, his lungs gasping for air as his grip tightened on the rough stone.

He was holding on by a thread.

A sharp breath, a tinge of her precious spiced cinnamon scent fueled his renewed determination. He pulled himself up only using his chest, shoulder and arm muscles, giving his overworked legs a moment of relief. He staggered to his heels, almost losing his balance due to his shaky legs. The blood pumped back fast from his upper body as he shook off the dreadful vision of the dizzying drop, glancing down from the balcony’s edge.

And then, he was running again.

His focus narrowed to the other end of the sweeping balcony wrapped around the whole length of the palace. His footsteps hammered against the slippery tile beneath him, giving him no chance to slow down from his steady, punishing pace for he’d surely slip and fall trying to adjust it.

“Don’t give up little one, I am coming,” Colin whispered an unconscious promise as he jumped through the edge of the banister to the unknown. It didn’t matter if it was a foot or a hundred beneath him. The only thing driving him at this point was closing their distance.

He landed on the slanted roof of another adjacent building, sliding down the steep angle on his side. He was accelerating towards the ground like a slightly off-course bullet destined for grave impact nonetheless.

The brutal force of his landing sent him stumbling forward, a growl of pain escaping him.

“Finally,” he breathed out, then inhaled deeply from the fresh air to use it as a scent map, guiding him to her. He could smell her from there; it was faint but alarming. Her enticing scent was mixed with nervous arousal, her contrasting feelings palpable. He could almost taste her in his mouth, the sweet and alluring want, the spiciness of her desperation with a sour aftertaste of dread and disgust. He almost threw up as that wretched, revolting smell–that was masked by her glorious scent so far–suddenly reached him, hitting the back of his throat. He had to force himself to refocus, his rage rising by every step he took forward, escalating to a roaring fire by the time he reached the edge of the maze.

The gravel under his shoes crunched with each hurried step, a stark contrast to the muffled silence surrounding him. Her scent, though compromised by the lord’s sickening smell, still guided Colin through the maze like a golden thread left behind just for him.

-------------------------

Colin has been following her scent for what felt like agonizingly long hours.

He was infuriatingly mad at and whole-heartedly in awe of her at the same time. She kept throwing him off with her scent trails and diversions and he practically wandered into every single trap she was leading him to–and probably the lord chasing her too–dead ends being a more common destination than breakthroughs as he made his way through the maze. It looked vast and endless from afar, but was evermore intimidating from within. He started doubting to get out of it by nightfall with his current trajectory.

The sun was scorching hot above them, evaporating the dew from the green leaves, and with it, gone was her scent with them, leaving behind a misty fog of mockery as any trail that allowed him to follow her faded away by the minute.

Colin’s patience was hanging by its last thread, the thought of not finding her in time, or at all, slowly creeping into his mind–a frightening reality he was not ready to face.

He remembered carrying her pale, lifeless body to their hideout after she was poisoned.

Those few minutes stretching to years in his mind, spent in heart wrenching agony and never ending self-loathing. Those minutes spent staring at her–focused on the rhythm of her breathing, afraid to take his eyes off of her as if she would stop if he wasn't watching over her. The subtle rise and fall of her chest, the only sign she was still alive. Those few minutes he spent praying to Gods he had long forgotten. Those minutes burned into his memory now clawing their way into the surface again, threatening to tear apart whatever sanity he still had.

He should have noticed her sooner. He should have been faster.

He shouldn't have let her out of his sight in the first place.

Colin let out a frustrated growl. He was failing at protecting her again and the disappointment in himself that was gnawing at him ever since they first met has grown unbearable since this morning.

The anger simmering deep within him born out of his frustrations was rising again. His inner turmoil was exacerbated by the outside world declaring war on him as well. Everything seemed to attack him all at once. The heat of the sun burned his already feverish skin. For someone from a desert planet he should have been accustomed to this, but something has been awfully off with how his skin felt in the past few days. And since their last mission he felt like he was wearing someone else's entirely.

The faint scent of her that seemed to calm him down was now suddenly overpowered by bursts of the Lord’s repugnant smell. It mixed with the maze's earthy odor turning his stomach with every breath he took trying to clear it away.

The rustling leaves, the buzzing of the insects burrowed deep within the live walls in front of him, the gravel turning under his feet, his own breathing and panting all contributed to a cacophony of disturbing sounds. They got on his nerves, bothering his ability to zone in on any noise she might make to help him find her. The unease he felt was spreading like a wildfire, reaching every nerve ending within him in seconds.

His palms itched, the mixture of sweat and dirt stung his wounds. His bruises, scratches and minor cuts, sore reminders of his adventurous escape that got neglected and forgotten about in the heat of the moment chasing after her–now started to bother him.

On top of it all, he was hungry, famished. His stomach growled at him for being so negligent. The intensity and exertions of the past few hours have been a shock to his body as he spared no energy chasing after her. His aching muscles, dried out throat and empty stomach that felt like a black hole ready to consume anything and everything kept his attention bouncing between his starving belly and another kind of hunger overtaking him silently.

Despite him fighting off sensations all over his body and mind, another primal one was awakening within him. The one he most dreaded to face when he actually catches up to her.

Lust.

The way her body called out to him in his dreams was sinuous. Seeing her in flesh and blood, graceful yet full of taunting energy, like a gazelle, brought back his memories of their first meeting. His cock twitched when he closed his eyes recalling the minute she licked his jaw, and he felt her soft lips against his stubble. His erection pressed against her hot center, and he was a second away from kissing her. He traced the scar on his chin, the mark she used to carve her way straight into his heart; forever. An unconscious smile flickered across his otherwise stressed face.

His body was ablaze, a single purpose burning within him. She was his to protect and he couldn't let anyone near her. The thought of that disgusting Lord’s nasty hands touching her delicate skin, his filthy mouth whispering those heinous and sickening words into her innocent little ears and daring to compromise her lips made Colin's blood boil with destructive thoughts he never experienced before. Dark shadows stormed over his blue pools, turning them midnight black, something primal and sinister overtaking him.

The wind shifted again, carrying a faint, desperate cry that sent a jolt of adrenaline through Colin's veins. It sounded like a bone-shattering scream to him, a loud beacon suddenly appearing in the deep sea of his stormy, ominous thoughts. His eyes–lit up with a ring of fire–widened as he lurched forward with unalterable determination towards the sound.

Hunt.

Protect.

Mine.

His animalistic growls echoed through the maze’s silent walls swallowing his accompanying hisses.

Instinct drove him after her, darting through the maze, tearing through shrubs, leaping over obstacles in his way. Like a predator chasing his prey, he occasionally stopped to smell the air, using all his senses to focus on one thing and one thing only. Her.

His eyes narrowed on something shiny and yellow in the distance. A piece of her dress torn off on a broken branch at a sharp turn. The gravel beneath uneven, a sign of her slip. Fleeting images of her running through the narrow passage flooded him, the branch harshly tugging at her dress, scratching her delicate skin. In a fit of rage, he tore off the branch in revenge, throwing it to the ground, exasperated. Suddenly aware of his own skin, he felt sweat dripping down his spine in the early afternoon heat. He shed his shirt, leaving it behind expecting at least some relief for his burning skin but the rays scorched him even more. As he looked up, the sun blinding as ever, his vision blurred for a moment while whispers of her cries bounced violently in his mind.

He shook his head to clear his thoughts and took in her scent from the fabric, using it as an anchor.

For a moment, his focus narrowed, an unsettling stillness surrounding him as the sounds of the maze seemed to abruptly cease. The air crackled with tension as he lunged towards her with fast, desperate strides. A waft of fear, familiar from their first chase, confirmed he was closing in on her, just like when they first met.

He maneuvered with renewed purpose, his movements precise and measured. A surge of adrenaline coursing through him, fuelled by his anger, desperation and need to finally be able to protect her.

As he made a sharp turn to a dark alley ridden by shadows of the taller edge of the maze, he collided into someone. In an expert move his legs were swept from underneath him and he tumbled to the ground with a loud thud, pinned down, a sharp dagger at his throat. A pair of confused eyes suddenly glinting with surprised recognition, lips tugging to a smug smile.

“Pointy-ear, what are you doing here!?”

Chapter Text

Chapter 7 Feral Desires

“Pointy-ear, what are you doing here!?” The voice, oozing with disgust and arrogance demanded.

The wretched smell surrounding him was suffocating Colin as his brain frantically searched for clues on where he saw this face before.

“What’s wrong pointy-ear? Do you need a reminder?” he sneered, raising an eyebrow at him. “I am happy to reacquaint you with my fist. I thought freaks like you had a better memory. Or have you been drinking ever since, drowning in your sorrows, killing off that single brain cell in the process?” he added mockingly. “Or maybe you never had one in the first place and you’re finally accepting your inferiority?” he mocked him further.

Then it dawned on him. The aggravating scum from the bar, two years ago. Colin was already intoxicated when he approached him, and that whole night was a blur. The only thing he clearly remembered was Michaela lurching forward over the bar to join in on the fight, to his utter surprise.

“There it is,” the blond jerk saw his realization, taking a sickening, wicked pleasure in it, before continuing his insults.

“You have no business here, leave!” he growled at Colin threateningly. “You will never be enough for her! You can’t give her what she needs. Hell, you don’t even know what she needs!” he scoffed, laughing at Colin’s confused look. “She’s my little toy to break in! So go fuck off!”

Over the years, Colin has grown impervious to repeated assaults, but a single word belittling her? The insult was an invisible catalyst. He was ready to relinquish all control that held him back from tearing this weasel apart.

His instincts kicked in. He grabbed a handful of dust and gravel from the ground and threw it into his face, timing it with a sudden, forceful movement to knock the dagger aside. The blond man instantly let him go, stumbling back, rubbing his eyes. Colin stood up swiftly, slamming him to the maze wall, pinning him halfway into it. His forearm pushed his chin up, choking him, the other grabbed and firmly held both of his opponent’s hands crossed against his chest as he pushed his back further into the prickly hedge. He imagined a thousand daggers stabbing at the rat’s back, though that vision only gave him little satisfaction.

“Don’t you dare speak of her like that!” Colin threatened in a voice primal and deep, one that was unknown to him. He bared his teeth at the lord with a deathly stare carrying the promise of his untimely demise.

“Or what?” he provoked Colin further, and hissed as the Vulcan’s large palm splayed around his neck and started lifting him up, until he was but a dangling ragdoll in his grasp. Colin’s grip tightened ever so slightly, the blond man making a high pitched wheeze as he tried to breathe. Colin’s control was slipping away, the animalistic side inside of him struggling with the blurring line between sheer power and lethal force at his fingertips.

The smug prick glanced aside and smirked. He had the audacity to choke out a “Thank you,” feeding into Colin’s darkest urges to destroy him. However hard the lord tried to seem unaffected, the sheen of sweat on his reddening face and the frantic, weakening pulse beneath Colin’s curled fingers digging into his neck started to betray him.

Colin straightened his arm further, the strain of holding the man of this size aloft evident in the way his muscles bulged, veins swollen and prominent at the exertion. He held him up, examining him with a narrow stare, contemplating what fate this scum deserved.

“I can…” the blond wheezed, barely audible between desperate gasps, ”see her now,” he added with a strangled, broken breath. The veins in his temples now pulsed violently while his hands clawed at Colin's arm, a desperate, futile attempt to break the iron grip. Colin’s expression immediately softened, his grip loosened as his focus shifted.

Find her. Save her. Claim her.

He threw the bastard to the ground a few feet away, like discarded trash. The lord landed with a loud thud, grunting a cursed “ouch” through gritted teeth.

Colin was scenting the air, his mind already elsewhere. On her.

Find her. Save her. Claim her. A single, insistent command ruled his every thought.

“I’ll fuck her in the middle of the maze so you can hear her desperate moans and whimpers while you rot here.” The lord spewed at Colin standing up, his voice still ragged and coarse. “I’ll even make her scream my full name, Reginald Fife, just for you, freak!” and with that he turned around and started running as fast as his legs could carry him.

His vile words snapped Colin out of his reverie and he burst after him. They weaved through the maze like two blurs, the only sound the rustling of leaves, their shoes sliding on gravel revealing their presence; until Colin found himself at a clearing in front of a little shed made from stone. No sight of Fife anywhere.

When he turned to look around, he felt a blow on his back knocking the breath out of him. He turned, growling from exasperation rather than pain, barely registering it due to the adrenaline coursing through him. He dragged on the rake in Fife’s hands, the blond stammered towards him, not letting go of the wooden handle. Colin wrenched it from his hands on his second try, tossing it aside, and followed with a powerful right hook. Another savage blow, to his stomach, doubled the lord over. He stumbled back, disoriented. Colin shifted his weight, and with a fluid motion he unleashed his finishing blow, a precisely controlled kick at the lord’s chest, sending him flying, crashing into the shed's floor, reeling.

Colin didn’t hesitate further, slamming the metal gate shut, locking it with the key already in it. He tossed it to the ground, within view, but just far enough to be out of reach.

“You’re lucky I didn’t kill you for your filthy mouth. You deserved much worse!” Colin growled as he walked away from him.

“You couldn't even keep the first one, what makes you think this one will stay?” Fife shouted after him, massaging his aching, blood stained jaw. “She will see you for what you are, just like the other one did. A failure, a half-breed impostor, some diluted filth,” he continued when he saw Colin didn’t even shrug after his first insult.

Colin stopped for a moment without turning back to him. His right hand curled to a fist, his left palm closing tensely around it. Every single one of his words would have cut sharp and deep if he wasn’t already in an altered state of mind. He almost regretted leaving him alive.

“She needs a pureblood, someone who can knot her. Something you can't give her, can you?” he sneered, his tongue let loose, trying out insults in a desperate fight he already lost. “You're not even a real Vulcan. You’ll never be enough for her,” he snarled, spitting after Colin in disgust.

His venomous words poisoned the air around them, but Colin didn't linger waiting for it to spread anymore.

He turned, the image of her burning in his mind, and disappeared into the maze once more.

--------------------------------

The further he got, the easier it was to forget. The lord's stench and insults faded away, replaced by her faint, yet unmistakable scent. Fear and arousal mingled with her allure as he followed her scent trail, now clearer and stronger than ever before. It led him deeper into the maze, every step a countdown until he could finally reach her.

The maze’s walls seemed to close in, the air growing thick with anticipation and his need. His heart started beating faster, louder, syncing up with another low, rhythmic thrumming echoing through the maze. He followed the sound, his heart pounding in time with its beat. Colin's steps quickened, an instinctual pull driving him among the walls that have entrapped him for the past few hours.

A sharp, broken cry pierced the maze's silence, the rustling leaves whispered a word resembling one he heard before.

“Need Alpha.”

He felt her desperation, how her body was physically aching for something and he’d give anything to relieve her pain. To will away the visions of her hunched over between her sprints through the maze, to banish seeing her curled into a ball, her pretty face wincing in pain.

A deep rumble, akin to a purr roared from his chest through the maze. In response came a soft, whimper, muffled, fading, his sanity questioning if it was even real.

Yet, he broke into a run again, the sound guiding him like a beacon, the maze walls twisting and turning, until he emerged into a large clearing once more.

A blur of movement, a swift motion behind him caught him off guard. Her scent was so potent and dizzying, any resistance to her overpowering him would have been in vain. He yielded to her swiftness and her will.

Colin found himself pinned to the ground again, her warmth, the pressure and weight pressing him to the soft grass familiar, comforting. He squinted, slowly opening his eyes to take in her beauty, bathed in golden sunlight. How many times has he imagined meeting her again? How many times has he imagined crashing his lips against hers?

“Starry Eyes? We meet again?” Delight glinted in her piercing blue eyes, like sunshine flickering on the surface of crystal clear waters.

He rolled them over playfully, holding her down with a gentle firmness, just like the first time they met.

“Indeed, we do,” he answered with reverence. His breath caught as he took her in, his instincts immediately driving him to claim her lips. He stopped himself just a mere breath away, searching her eyes for an answer to a question he didn't dare ask. Because he was about to take without permission.

She surprised him again. Running her tongue along his scar, closing her lips around it, gently sucking on his chin. Colin's eyes closed in pleasure, fighting a shiver–imagining her lips somewhere else–and the urge to tear her clothes off; he groaned.

“You're not supposed to be here!” she placed another wet kiss on his chin. He was about to purr and bite her back hungrily, when her words slowly registered. He really wasn't supposed to be here. Why was he here? His grip loosened, the need to possess replaced by a need to comfort.

“I…” he stammered. A wave of emotions surged to the surface suddenly. He didn’t realize how much seeing her alive and well would impact him. With flushed cheeks, wrapping him around her fingers so easily. He was weaving in and out of the moment. His feral desires fought for dominance over his desire to talk, to protect, to comfort.

“I am glad to see you are well,” he continued, as if he casually dropped by for afternoon tea.

“How did you even find me?”

“I wasn’t looking…” Not that she wasn’t on his mind constantly. He needed a moment to summon coherent thoughts and sentences. How did he end up here, with her? The day was a blur. Of emotions, of time slowing down and speeding up, his body acting on pure instincts, his mind struggling to catch up.

He was with her.

“You weren’t looking? Did someone just drop you out of the sky and you happened to end up here then?” She teased. She looked even more beautiful than he remembered and smelled irresistible.

“Something like that,” he shrugged, a shy smile appearing on his face.

Her expression changed suddenly, a realization crossing her mind.

“What’s wrong?” Colin asked.

“You need to leave. Now.” Her voice was commanding, but weak. “There’s someone coming…they can’t find you here!” He picked up on her scent changing, now tinged with fear and sadness.

“You don’t have to worry about him anymore, little one! He’s locked up. You’re safe with me!”

She looked at him with confusion.

“You don’t understand! I…” she trailed off, looking away, her skin flushed red. “I need him.”

Colin let go of her, stumbling back. He sat back on his heels, emotions started clouding him, confusion and anger bubbling. She pushed herself up to her elbows, surveying him carefully.

"I fail to comprehend his necessity ” Colin couldn’t imagine any use for that scum. “What could you possibly need such a foul…” His eyes met hers. Shock and dread mixed with fury in his realization. The conversation he overheard. The lords talking about mating…Fife’s vile insults of him not being able to give her what she needs…It all made sense now. She was going through something similar to his Pon Farr.

“Let me help you," he blurted it out selfishly.

“You don’t understand what you’re saying. I…” she tried to reason with him.

“I do,” he rasped, raking his eyes over her body lying just inches away from him. The air suddenly felt charged, the tension between them crackling. The change in her scent was immediate, her needy sweet pear scent intensified while her spicy cinnamon ignited a fire within him.

“I have needs, Starry eyes. And I am afraid you're not the one who can ease my pain this time,” she bit her lips, rubbing her thighs together in a vain attempt to hide her arousal from him, “I don’t think you’re the right person for this task.” It sounded like a challenge rather than a discouraging statement.

Colin moved closer, hovering over her, reveling in the soft whimper that escaped her lips.

“Your scent…your whole body screams otherwise,” he noted smugly, calling her out.

“I beg to differ-” she contested rebelliously.

“And you’re already begging…” he smirked. The subtle shift in her scent, a hint of submission mingled with defiance, sent a jolt through him.

“Why must you be so irresistibly infuriating?” She bit her lip, eyeing his openly. The heat radiating from her body was drawing him closer. He leaned in, drinking in her scent from up close. She was intoxicating.

“You find me irresistible?” he whispered in her ear, enjoying how his closeness made her squirm, their little power play leaving them both wanting more.

“Those cute ears don’t seem to work, either. I also said ‘infuriating’.”

“Cute? I believe no one has ever said that word to a Vulcan. Is it an insult?” he mocked her.

“Yes, of the highest order in Lunaria,” she confirmed with a straight face, gazing at his blue pools, biting back a chuckle.

“Ah,” Colin raised an eyebrow. “Then I must call for a duel for my honor.” His hand brushed against her thigh, a fleeting touch that sent a shiver through them both. Her breath hitched, as their eyes met again, hers mirroring his own growing desire.

“Your honor? There’s more than that at risk here! I won't go easy on you, I can promise you that!” A coy smile tugged on her lips. Her playful insults were a thin veil over her own arousal, a desperate attempt to maintain control. He saw through her facade, her struggle to stay still and not rub her aching core against his raging erection. Her promise elicited a groan, his own willpower dwindling, strained to its limits.

“I wouldn’t want it any other way!” he assured her. His instincts screamed at him to claim her, to mate her right then, but he held back, his Vulcan control a fragile shield against the raging storm within him.

“Are you sure you want this?” Doubt tinged her voice. “My condition…my heat is becoming unbearable. It’s quite painful if I can’t mate…”

“We have something similar on Vulcan called Pon Farr.” He felt the need to tell her he understands. And that she would be helping him, too. “And from my symptoms…” A blush crept up his neck to his face, “it seems I am going through my first one, too.”

She blinked at him, processing. “How serendipitous for us then.” She leaned back and pulled his hips closer.

“Indeed.” He let his whole body envelope her, careful not to crush her.

“If we are compatible…that is…” she ground up to him, the friction they both craved unleashed a pleasure filled moan from her as Colin groaned into her ear. They were both caught in the grip of their biological imperatives, their bodies screaming for release. The idea of them helping each other, of finding solace in each other's arms, was a tempting proposition.

“We will be,” he breathed against her lips, feeling her whole body tense and then melt under him as if she gave her permission for him to sink further into her, any air remaining between them a sin. His lips were just about to brush hers, when she suddenly turned her head away, pushing him up with urgency.

“Quick, help me up!” she ordered him.

“Over there!” she gestured, grabbing something from a little basket nearby. Not far from them stood a metal structure. From its high crossbar hung leather straps: loose loops on one side, and a swing-like harness swayed gently on the other in the afternoon breeze.

He was puzzled evermore when she threw a pair of handcuffs at him. His rational mind was trying but failing to analyze what caused the sharp change in their dynamic.

“What, exactly, are we doing with these?” he held up the cuffs, dangling from his index finger.

“I’m afraid I have to cuff you, Starry eyes,” she said, uncompromising, but with a subtle playfulness in her tone.

“I can not comprehend the reason behind it. I said I am doing this of my own will.” Colin’s confusion grew with each second.

She chuckled, walking towards him.

“Someone’s coming,” she clarified. “I assume you’re the infiltrator they caught this morning on my balcony. You’re a prisoner of the palace. I can’t risk you escaping.”

“May I remind you that I, in fact, already escaped,” Colin pointed out smugly.

“And that’s exactly why I need you restrained now.” She stopped right in front of him, looking up at him with determination. “At least for a little bit,” she reached after his hand holding the cuffs.

“Are you really going to-?” she was holding his wrist, rubbing little circles with her thumb.

“If you question my choices now, you have no idea what you signed up for.”

“Maybe I don't.”

“Did you change your mind?”

“No,” he answered immediately. She put one side of the cuff around his wrist, clicking it shut.

“Then hands up.” He looked at the metal frame above his head and then her.

“And exactly how are you going to cuff me to the top of that pole?” he chuckled.

“Oh I am not going to, you will,” she scoffed. "One hand cuffed up is fine,” she instructed. When Colin didn’t move, she ran her fingers down his shoulders, his biceps, and his forearms, before she nudged him to lift them up and obey.

“Do you do this often?” Colin asked as he clicked the loop of the cuff around the pole, leaving one of his hands still free. “Chain men to poles to have your way with them?” He wrapped both his fists around the metal bar, stretching and showing off his arm muscles to tease her.

“Only the unsuspecting ones wandering into my mating nest.” She seemed pleased with his display, by the open-mouthed look on her face.

“You have the most curious traditions here.”

“Oh, you’ve seen nothing,” she reached up, scraping her nails down his neck.

“Yet,” he corrected, watching her fingers play with his chest hair before continuing their sinuous exploration down his abs. “I can’t wait for you to show me all the Lunarian mating habi-” his groan turned to a low purr when her fingers brushed and lingered against the strained fabric at his cock.

“Shh,” she put two fingers on his lips to silence him, while her other hand palmed him firmly, whimpering.

“Play along, prisoner!” she warned him, as she let go of him. They heard branches cracking, and then a woman appeared from behind the trees to their left.

“Luna? Are you alright?” her voice was ridden with worry. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere! A prisoner escaped this morning and I was worried…oh, I see you found him?”

“Oh Rae, it’s you! Everything is alright! No need for any alarm!” She hurried to meet her with a hug.

“Where’s the lord? Was the chase unsuccessful? Wait, is he…” the woman stared at Colin before averting her piercing gaze back to her.

“Rae, you need to tell the guards everything is alright, and that I had our prisoner moved for interrogation.”

“Just make sure you ask all your questions before…” she trailed off, examining Colin suspiciously from afar, yet again. “Are you sure this is a good idea?” she whispered.

“Rae, trust me!”

“Alright, I’ll cover for you and ensure the guards won’t look for him. I’ll check on you tomorrow.”

“Thank you, Rae!”

--------------------------

The moment Rae's footsteps faded, the air crackled again, thick with the scent of their arousal. Colin's eyes darkened, his gaze locking onto hers as she approached him. He tugged lightly on the cuff, the metal digging into his skin, a reminder of her control over him.

“Now that we're alone,” he rumbled, his voice low, “perhaps you could release me?”

“Oh, I have every intention to…release you,” she smirked, eyes raking through his toned body, lingering on his sizable bulge. Colin’s arms tightened around the pole under her hungry gaze.

“Has anyone ever told you that you look delicious?” He looked so powerful and strong yet bitable; she licked her lips, her Omega purred at the sight of him, excited to play with him, now that he was seemingly at her mercy. She knew the cuffs wouldn’t really hold him back and she was tempted to tease him until he snapped. She wanted him to claim her as much as she wanted to sink her teeth into his neck.

“Are you planning to eat me? I don’t remember signing up for that,” he teased. His fists around the pole tightened again, the metal of his cuff clanking against it, reminding him that they were playing her game. If they weren't, he'd already broke free the minute her little fingers grazed his chest. He was pleased to see the same hunger in her eyes, the little purr she let out was a soothing balm to his raging desire, instructing him to be just a bit more patient to get his reward.

“How about I just have a little taste of you,” she stepped dangerously close.

“Only if I can have a little taste of you first. I’ve been starving ever since I met you...” he confessed, grabbing her waist with his free hand as he pulled her against himself. She gasped at the sudden move, but ground into his thigh, clawing at his biceps and chest.

“I should remedy that; we take pride in treating our prisoners well.” She had powered through the day pushing away the painful coiling in her belly. All the teasing between them just made it worse, and she was desperate for a release.

“Tell me what you need, little one.” As if he could hear her thoughts, he turned her around, tugging her back against his chest.

“Tell me,” he whispered into her ear, nipping at her neck, while he was hiking up her skirt. His touch burned her skin, his breath hot in her ear, her Omega whining for more. More skin, more touch. She grabbed the hem of her dress and pulled it off, standing almost bare in front of him, the only piece remaining was her golden corset. He groaned and pulled her back against his embrace and she wished he had both his hands free when he finally moved it to soothe her. He splayed his big palm over her lower belly, the warmth of his touch instantly soothing.

“Tell me what you need!” he growled this time, more impatient. “I want to make you feel good!”

“I need you to touch me. Lower!” she whimpered, guiding his hands between her thighs. She was throbbing, slick coating her thighs already. His fingers glided between her folds and he groaned, starting to circle her nub.

She was a whimpering and moaning mess, feeling his finger finally touching her, after he did so in so many of her dreams and fantasies, escalating her pleasure in no time. Her Omega wailed, wishing to please him, desperate for him to call her out. To praise her, to acknowledge her at least.

“You’re such a good little Omega,” he purred in her ear, nipping at her earlobe. “You’re so wet, so sensitive, so responsive to my touch. I want to make you feel good,” he continued, his lighter circles turning more firm, more demanding, coercing that pleasure-filled coil tightening in her belly.

More, more! He heard her silent cries, as if she let him into her mind, exposing her thoughts, her deepest desires to him. And he was determined to give her everything she wanted, everything she needed, and more. It felt like a daydream, finally touching her, feeling her warmth radiating through their bodies curled together, her little moans and whimpers he dreamt about ripping through the open space around them. More! He slid two fingers inside her and she instantly bucked up, swallowing them. He groaned, his fingers started moving in and out of her, feeling her flutters. Harder! she whimpered and grabbed his neck with one hand, fisting his hair. He ground into her back as he fucked her harder with his fingers. Her other hand flew to circle her nub, giving him the freedom to change his angle, to reach her even deeper, to curl his fingers and coax her built-up pleasure to a release that rippled through both of them so tightly intertwined.

“That’s it, come for me, little one,” his purring command in her ear pushing her over the edge. She tightened and fluttered and throbbed around his large fingers pumping deep within her, squeezing every last bit of her release with his strokes. It felt like he was in her head, knew exactly what she wanted. More slick gushed over his fingers when he slid them out and kept circling her sensitive nub. She whimpered as her second orgasm reached her within seconds.

“Such a good little Omega,” he praised her again, peppering her neck with gentle little bites, as he kept his hand cupped over her mound. “Now imagine what I could do with two free hands,” he teased her.

“I guess you passed the first evaluation,” she quipped back, “might earn you back that second free hand.” Resting her head against his chest, she was still heaving. She felt lighter, but not even close to satiated. Her hunger for him resurfaced, his long, thick fingers inside her provided only a temporary relief.

Penelope turned to him; he looked simultaneously strong and helpless on the pole with his hand cuffed above his head. She pulled the key from her corset, enjoying having complete control.

“I could release you now.” She raked her eyes up his body until she reached his face. “Or, I could release you first,” she seduced, lip caught between her teeth, her eyebrow a silent question.

Surprise flashed across his face before he regained control, eyes darkening as he smirked at her.

“Take what is yours, little one.” His voice was gravelly and deep in a way she could feel in her bones.

Penelope tossed the key to the ground before reaching up and pulling at his neck, causing his knees to bend slightly. She put her feet on his thighs to climb up his chiseled body, wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist as she began grinding into his arousal.

“Pen,” she revealed, looking straight into his eyes once more. “My name is Pen. I want to hear it when you come for me.”

Biting his lip, he closed his eyes then reopened them to lock his gaze with hers again.

“Colin.” For a moment, it seemed as though he could see right through her…that he could see her well-controlled reaction to learning his real name. A piece of him.

Colin.

Suddenly consumed by the magnetic draw of her mouth to his neck, fully exposed to her as he was restrained, she surged forward to press her lips against it. She sucked and licked desperately, her slick coating her thighs in response to the groan he released.

As much as she was enjoying playing with him, she needed to be filled. Needed him.

Jumping down, she grabbed at his belt, looking up at him as he nodded and licked his lips. She flicked his belt open with a satisfied grin and made quick work of his pants and undergarments. Her mouth watered, her cunt clenched hungrily, and her Omega keened impatiently at the sight of him almost naked.

Colin felt his insatiable hunger rise again. She decided to tease him mercilessly, stepping just out of arm’s reach. She began playing with the bow on her corset, dangling the promise of finally revealing her gorgeous breasts, to present to him her fully naked body. He hissed as she began to remove her last piece of clothing. He tugged on his cuff impatiently, the metal cutting into his wrist. He was a hair’s breadth away from breaking the cuffs, the pole or even his own wrist just to touch her again. As the ribbon slowly slipped out from hole after hole from her corset, his thoughts narrowed to a single one:

Fuck her.

Claim her.

Make her mine.

With every tug on the ribbons of her corset, Penelope watched Colin’s thick, fully erect cock twitch and weep for her. She revelled in the power she held over him, seeing him already so dishevelled, ready to break from his cuffs and she had barely touched him. The moment the ribbon slipped through the last hole on her corset, she let it slip and fall to the ground. The guttural groan that left his chest, and the way he lurched forward to claim her left no doubt, her Omega was ecstatic with the mate she chose.

Mate him.

Claim him.

Please him.

“Shh,” she cooed. “Keep your hands to yourself, no touching until I let you,” she commanded him. Colin nodded, pulling his hand back above his head, grabbing the pole in frustration. Yet again. She was driving him mad, his little Omega, taking him to the brink of carnal tension, breaking his last shreds of resistance.

Claim her.

She walked towards him, graceful like a cat, but ravenous like a predator.

Fuck her.

When she finally reached him, her fingers splayed on his chest possessively. She nudged him, pushing him backwards until his back hit the vertical pole holding up the one he was cuffed to. She glanced at his cock aching for her before she pulled herself up onto him again, her wet core brushing against him sending a shiver through both of them. Holding onto the pole behind him, she placed her feet into the two dangling loops beside him, sliding the wide straps up onto her thighs. Suspended in front of him, her peaked breasts pressed against his chest, making them moan at the sensation. She caught a glimpse of his hand letting go of the bar, but placing it back, honoring her request. Her Omega was keen to reward him for his good behavior.

She reached down between them, wrapping her dainty little fingers around his thick shaft, lining him up with her center already drenched for him with her slick. Their mutual lust and desire peaked. Their full-bodied scents released and mingled together forming a heady, delirious mix heightening the experience, now driven only by their animalistic selves. To claim each other, to take pleasure, to chase their release. She sank down onto him in one slow motion, moaning at the stretch as he gasped and bucked up into her. They stilled for a moment, their lust-hazed eyes refocused on the other’s. Their joining was more than mere physical need, but for now, that’s what drove them both. They started moving, their hips bucking and grinding on instinct.

As soon as they started moving, Colin lost himself in the way her body wrapped around him. She held onto his neck as she rode him, slapping against his skin, her slick coating them, making lewd sounds every time he drove back into her. She was wet and warm and welcoming, yet deliciously tight. He felt her walls clench around him at each thrust, driving him feral, wanting more of her, all of her. After what felt like weeks of lusting over her, she was finally his.

“You’re mine,” he growled in the intensity of their love making, feeling his own release build up to an unstoppable one, her moans stringing him along, ready to fall.

“Pen,” he rasped out, his body shaking. She lost herself in the sound of her name in his voice, realizing he was holding back his own release, waiting for her to finish first.

“Oh, Colin,” Pen moaned in his ear, threading her fingers through his hair and tugging, sending him over the edge as he came hard inside of her, triggering her own release. It wasn’t like any of her orgasms before. It tore through her deeper, on a visceral level, as their bodies seized and trembled together. His movements slowed down instinctively, stretching her pleasure over time indefinitely. His languid grinding sent secondary shivers through her as visions from their mind meld flickered in front of her eyes, some familiar, some new and more vivid, more breathtaking than the real meteor showers she experienced before.

She leaned against his chest in an attempt to catch her breath. Colin’s breathing was ragged, too; he was panting into her ear, occasionally releasing a little purr, making her Omega purr back with satisfaction and joy.

As they both came down from their high, she let him slide out, whimpering at the loss of his warmth inside her, the feeling of being full, complete, whole.

She relished staying near him, hands still wrapped around his neck, clinging to him, feeling the rise and fall of his chest against hers. His arms were still up, fists dutifully wrapped around the pole.

“Do you want to touch me?” She pushed herself up and licked the shell of his ear and delighted in his shiver.

“Yes,” he groaned, a renewed fire lit in his eyes.

Retrieving a pin from her hair, she offered it to him. “Can you pick a lock?”

“I jumped out of that tower when I saw you.” He nodded towards the palace tower and saw her eyes widen, her mouth fell open in awe. “Do you think a cuff can stop me?” And with that, he tugged on the metal forcefully, snapping the chain immediately.

The moment he was free, his arms were around her, grasping her ass as he held her body against him, his mouth flying to hers. She felt it throughout her body when he sucked her bottom lip between his teeth; she returned the gesture before parting his lips by pushing her tongue into his mouth, reveling in the feeling of his brushing against it. Their kiss was hungry, and demanding. Colin moaned into her mouth, just from being able to finally touch her, grab her, sink his fingers into her plush thighs. Their tongues explored each other, playful and teasing; when biting her lips wasn’t enough, he licked and sucked behind her ear, working his way down her neck, grazing his teeth at her sensitive purplish red spot. He felt another gush of her arousal dripping down on his already hard cock.

Penelope moaned, digging her nails into his shoulder when he grazed her mating gland. God, how she wished he could bite her and claim her as his Omega. Deep down she knew it wasn’t possible, whatever they were doing was not viable but her Omega didn’t care either. She needed more of him. There was no slowing down or stopping. Knowing she couldn’t have him for long, she needed to make the most of the time they had left.

“Help me down,” she requested, though it sounded more like a command. Her need was rising, making her impatient. Colin obeyed and held her until she regained control over her shaky legs.

Reaching to take his cock in her hand as he whined in pleasure, she walked backwards without letting go, guiding him to the mating swing at the other end of the pole.

“Help me up,” she demanded and he obeyed again, assisting her as she laid on her belly across the straps, leaving her body open to him as she was suspended in the air again. It felt freeing to be here like this with him. She was still the one giving the orders, but presenting herself like this to him brought a certain vulnerability. She trusted him to let him do anything to her. And above all, she wanted to release him. The beast that jumped out of the tower for her, the one that held back so obediently when she was chasing her own pleasure riding him. The one that snapped the strongest metal on Lunaria like a cheap replica. Her Omega wanted to please him, to let him chase his own pleasure the way he wanted to, to use her freely.

Colin.

“Take me from behind,” she growled at him.

Fuck her. Claim her.

Colin groaned, driven mad by desire. He wanted to have his hands all over her at once. He had dutifully followed all her requests so far. But now…he felt a more powerful need rising in him. It was more than pure lust. He wanted to claim her, possess her in a way no one could take her from him. She was telling him how to take her but not how to claim her.

Penelope felt his hand on her bare ass as he lightly slapped it, causing wetness to gush from her. She felt the tension in the straps change as he gripped them with his hands, allowing her to settle herself back against him as he lined up at her entrance once again.

“You’re mine, only mine,” he growled as he pushed in with one swift movement and she cried out. He was stretching her deep and wide, the new angle sending tingles all over her body. He began moving in and out at a rapid pace, the momentum of the swing heightening her pleasure.

“Faster, Colin. Harder,” she cried out and he obeyed, slamming into her as she bounced on the swing with each thrust.

“I don’t want you to hold back,” she moaned, hearing him pant heavily, his hands grasping her hips tighter and tighter. She could feel her own release approaching again just by imagining him losing control.

“Do NOT hold back,” she commanded.

She was letting him lose control, she was ordering him to lose control, this little minx making all his feral dreams come true. He slid out of her almost entirely and then slammed back in, repeating a few times to hear her cry out “yes” again and again. He ground into her at every thrust, feeling her flutter and clench down on his shaft in pleasure. He then picked up the pace again, driving in and out of her with his full length at a punishing pace. He let go, fucking her frantically, pouring out all his pent up lust and desire to build up their joint release. He wasn’t holding back; her moans, her whimpers, his name cried out in ecstasy on repeat were bringing him to his highest peak ever.

“Pen…” She loved it. It was almost as good as the sex, hearing her name leave his lips. The reverence with which he spoke her name sent her over again, soaking his cock with her juices as she rode out her orgasm suspended in mid air.

Colin felt Pen’s whole body shiver and tremble, his name echoed loud around them as he followed right behind her, coming forcefully, emptying himself into her. He shattered like never before, Pen allowing him this freedom. To not be bound by anything or anyone, to forget about expectations or performance or duty. For the first time in his life, be totally free, and to focus on what he wanted, doing something he enjoyed, the way he liked it, taking his own pleasure without guilt. She was still milking him so desperately, he could feel every clench after he slowed down to ride out his full pleasure, reveling in her warmth around him. He closed his eyes, forcing away the only prickling thought that tugged at him, even in this moment. He gave her his everything, and it still wasn’t enough.

He rubbed his palm along her hips and thighs to soothe her skin, seeing a few newly formed marks there. He might have been too rough grabbing her in the heat of the moment. He slipped out of her, hissing. He learned right away that the absence of her embrace, Pen somehow tightly wrapped around him, left him with an unbearable sense of loss.

“Pen, are you alright?” he asked, worried, noticing her silence.

“I feel wonderful,” she responded dreamily.

He gently helped her out of the swing, lifting her chin and kissing her deeply.

The pleasure she just experienced with Colin was otherworldly. She asked him to let go, to not hold back at all, to use her for his own pleasure and he gave her exactly what she wanted, what she needed, what she had craved for years.

All her life, she had expectations looming over her, rules to follow, things to be done a certain way. Even with her heats, she had to follow protocols, especially given her status. She couldn’t experience a full heat because it wasn’t advised before she took a mate. She couldn’t love freely, couldn’t pleasure herself freely because she was supposed to suppress that part of herself. It was the first time her Omega was completely freed, and deliriously happy. The first time she felt she did something rule-breaking, but entirely for herself. She wanted to rule with the wisdom of knowledge and experience, and now knew how much it meant to be able to give someone true freedom. She wanted to be free and yet she was chained down to be the only one able to grant freedom. She may not be able to do it for her whole primedom, but she got to grant that freedom to Colin and be the person who reaped the benefits, too. It was empowering and gratifying at the same time.

She wanted more, needed more of him, but her body was beginning to tire.

Colin was mesmerized by her; she was deep in thought, her scent blooming with sweet honey, needy and soothing at the same time. Her hair now glowed copper in the setting sun. Strands of golden blond reappearing or fading away, he couldn’t figure it out just yet. He was in such a daze after their first round, he only realized her hair started turning auburn then. He smiled as she looked up at him, blushing. Just like her hair, he thought. His curiosity peaked, remembering the copper glow he thought only existed in his fantasy as he recalled the time they first met. Knowing her tells now, a smug smile appeared on his face.

“What?” she asked.

“You wanted me back then. In the alley,” Colin declared with a coy smile.

“And you clearly wanted me. You had a huge tell, if I remember correctly,” she mocked him.

“Just so you are aware, you have one, too.”

“What?” If she was good at something, it was hiding herself and her secrets from the world.

“You blush.”

“Everyone does, if you look at them like that,” she was squirming under his gaze, rubbing her thighs together. It took only one look and she was a weeping mess for him again.

“But your hair does too, and from the looks of it, you still haven't gotten enough of me.”

“What do you mean?” She just noticed the copper and auburn strands, barely any of the blond left.

“You think this is because of you?” she asked incredulously.

“Oh, I know! Let me prove it to you,”

“Do indulge me,” she taunted him seductively.

“I am going to fuck you until your hair is as red as your-”

“Less talking, more proving,” she tugged on his hand; glancing around the garden, she saw the pool. “A dip in the water?” she hummed and he nodded, following her wordlessly.

She sat on the edge of the pool, dipping her feet in as he pulled his tank - the only remaining piece of clothing he was wearing - over his head, tossing it aside before he dove in and under the water. As he rose, her attention was pulled to the water droplets running down his chest. He was everything she wanted in a man. Her Omega purred in agreement.

Coming to the edge, he rubbed her thighs before he took her nipple into his mouth, sucking and grazing it with his teeth as he pinched the unattended one between his fingers. She moaned in pleasure, pulling him closer, tugging on the back of his hair, knowing how it affected him. Colin groaned, switching to her other nipple, licking and sucking on it, while he palmed her breasts hungrily.

Penelope's body shivered as his mouth closed around her nipple, remembering all the ways he already brought her pleasure, and aching for more, in whatever way he was giving it to her. He was doing ungodly things with his mouth to her breasts and she whimpered at the new sensations overwhelming her. No matter where he touched her, how he touched her, she responded immediately, craving more, more, more.

She slid into the water, allowing him to carry her across the pool as Colin continued his chase of her pleasure once again. One hand holding her, the other circling her nub, her slick oozing out providing plenty of lubrication even under the water.

She could feel her body quickly rising toward another orgasm as he reached the steps, sitting down on them and hauling her onto his lap to straddle him as the water lapped at them from underneath. Leaning her back to lay on his thighs, he entered her swiftly.

Her back was submerged in the water as he took her once again. Feeling as though she was floating while he was filling her made her whole body stir with even more need for him. She thought her fantasy came alive, when she imagined him taking her in her cooling pond just a day or two ago. He began rubbing firm circles around her clit over and over as he thrust into her slowly, her fingers digging into his calves as her mind floated away.

Colin couldn’t quite grasp whether he was awake or asleep, dreaming this. All of this. Her. Reality blurred with dazed illusions from his dream the other night, being one with her in the water. This time felt different again, dreamy, more peaceful, almost ethereal, a sharp contrast to their feral lovemaking just minutes ago.

Her breasts, caressed by the water as he slowly thrust into her, moved with the waves, her rosy peaks taut, her hair flowed around her arousal-flushed face like lava. And just at his fingertips, her tight little cunt taking him, squeezing him still as tight as their first time. He got lost in watching himself get buried in her again and again, her core on full display in front of him, turning from pink to a crimson shade in front of his eyes as he circled her nub, drawing out her lustful moans and breathy whimpers. He was taking his time, savoring it all, his peak building from just watching her body react to him, to his touch. He dragged out his orgasm to match hers with slow, shallow thrusts and kept gently circling her until she came again.

Penelope heard him breathe out her name as her peak slowly crested. He pulled her back up to his face, kissing her neck and suckling on the top of her breasts.

Exhaustion was overcoming her, but she didn’t want him to leave her side, even as the sun was now setting. She wasn’t sure how long they could keep this going, but the thought of ending this–their connection, their bond, however surreal–seemed unbearable. She didn’t want to face what came after. She couldn’t face what came after he left. Not yet.

“Shall we go to the daybed? I’m a bit tired,” she whispered, still curled up in his lap.

He picked her up in his strong arms and carried her to the outdoor daybed, then went searching for extra blankets to warm her. It sent another thrill through her that he was so in tune with what she needed.

He wrapped a blanket over them both and pulled her close, kissing her once more as he warmed her with his own heat.

“How’s my blushing mate?” Colin cooed in her ear, playing with her hair, wrapping her strands around his fingers.

“I see you still have some proving to do,” she teased him, looking at the few blond streaks left in her hair.

“Still feisty, I see. It seems I haven’t tired you out enough, little Omega?”

The truth was, she could never have enough of him.

Sliding himself underneath the blanket and down to her thighs, Colin began nipping the sensitive flesh he found there as she wove her fingers in his hair. The vibration she felt as he moaned against her skin there was like nothing she had ever felt.

Fingers still in his hair, she firmly moved his head and pulled him to where she wanted him, and he wasted no time in licking through her wet folds.

Her tangy sweetness was addicting on his first lick. He was drinking her up like the most precious nectar. Colin hummed against her core, bewildered by her taste on his lips, his tongue. He devoured her, licking and sucking quickly and unforgivingly, as though she was his favorite meal. She finished again, hard, screaming his name as she came on his face.

Removing the blanket to look at him, Pen pulled him up and began kissing him, tasting herself on his lips, then on his cheeks and chin as she licked him clean.

She looked at her hair again, Colin playing with the single strand of blond curl, with a smug smile on his face.

“One more?” she pleaded with him as she yawned.

“You look exhausted.” He smiled as he pulled another blanket around them, cocooning them in a comfort she knew would not, could not, last.

As she kissed him deeply and ran her fingers over his erection, he lined his cock up with her center one last time, sighing as he pushed himself deep inside her.

This time was different.

He kept his eyes locked on hers as he slowly, languidly pumped in and out of her, as though he was savoring every thrust. Her eyes began drifting closed and he leaned in to kiss her lips, bringing her attention back to him.

“Little one,” he cooed in her ear. “Pen.”

“Colin,” she whispered as she rubbed his cheek, staring into his eyes as he spilled inside her, and she followed right behind him.

Moments later, his little Omega was asleep in his arms, his face nuzzled into her all red curls.

---------------------------

The first time Colin woke up during the night, he found her lips tightly wrapped around his half hard cock. His little Omega was impatient. It only lasted a few seconds before he grew too big for her, but those moments, having her mouth all around him, all of him, her playful tongue pushing against his length, licking and teasing him, begging him, his cock, to wake up and take her, felt like heaven.

When he couldn’t bear her teasing anymore, he grabbed her, pulled her on her knees and took her from behind. He made her come three times on his cock before he let himself follow her. The first time she came fast, her needy little cunt throbbing around him after only a few well-angled thrusts and his fingers circling her nub the way he learned she liked. The second time he made her squirm more, teasing her endlessly with only a few well-timed thrusts and making her finish only if she stayed still, or his fingers would stop. Her Omega whined fighting her urges but learned fast he meant it. He wanted to feel her whole build up, his shaft deeply buried within her. The ripples of pleasure that shook her and made her clench down on him almost took him over the edge, too. The last one, he let go again and fucked her roughly, impatiently, just like she was, just like she wanted. Her slick was dripping out of her, loud slapping sounds as his hips slammed into her back echoed through the cool night. It was the loudest he heard her cry out his name, the sweet sound instantly burned into his memory forever.

The second time, half-awake half-dazed, he was the one needing her. He woke her with the same impatience, his mouth worshipping at her altar. His tongue thrusting into her, licking and sucking on her nub with the exact pressure and pace that drove her crazy, until she came, pulling at his hair. And then he made love to her slowly, languidly, feeling how every inch of him stretched her as he entered her, while he got lost in her blue eyes, shining like stars, reflecting the bright Lunarian moons. He made her look at him the whole time, to see her face ripple with pleasure with every thrust, to see dark lust fill her eyes to the brim, to catch every moan and whimper from her lips with a kiss. To watch her face as he gave her pleasure, and to let her see how much she gave to him. How much she meant to him. How much–however inconceivable and doomed their relationship was–he loved her.

When she was fast asleep in his arms again, he followed her to slumber with a whisper murmured into her ear.

“I love you, Pen. No matter what happens next.”

Chapter Text

End of chapter 7

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The first time Colin woke up during the night, he found her lips tightly wrapped around his half hard cock. His little Omega was impatient. It only lasted a few seconds before he grew too big for her, but those moments, having her mouth all around him, all of him, her playful tongue pushing against his length, licking and teasing him, begging him, his cock, to wake up and take her, felt like heaven.

When he couldn’t bear her teasing anymore, he grabbed her, pulled her to her knees and took her from behind. He made her come three times on his cock before he let himself follow her. The first time she came fast, her needy little cunt throbbing around him after only a few well-angled thrusts and his fingers circling her nub the way he learned she liked. The second time he made her squirm more, teasing her endlessly with only a few well-timed thrusts and making her finish only if she stayed still, or his fingers would stop. Her Omega whined, fighting her urges, but learned fast he meant his demands. He wanted to feel her whole build up, his shaft deeply buried within her. The ripples of pleasure that shook her and made her clench down on him almost took him over the edge. The last one, he let go again and fucked her roughly, impatiently, just like she was, just like she wanted. Her slick was dripping out of her, loud slapping sounds as his hips slammed into her back echoed through the cool night. It was the loudest he heard her cry out his name, the sweet sound instantly burned into his memory forever.

The second time, half-awake and half-dazed, he was the one needing her. He woke her with the same impatience, his mouth worshipping at her altar. His tongue thrusting into her, licking and sucking on her nub with the exact pressure and pace that drove her crazy, until she came, pulling at his hair. And then he made love to her slowly, languidly, feeling how every inch of him stretched her as he entered her, while he got lost in her blue eyes, shining like stars, reflecting the bright Lunarian moons. He made her look at him the whole time, to see her face ripple with pleasure with every thrust, to see dark lust fill her eyes to the brim, to catch every moan and whimper from her lips with a kiss. To watch her face as he gave her pleasure, and to let her see how much she gave to him. How much she meant to him. How much-however inconceivable and doomed their relationship was–he loved her.

When she was fast asleep in his arms again, he followed her to slumber with a whisper murmured into her ear.

“I love you, Pen. No matter what happens next.”

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Chapter 8

What the future holds

Colin hummed, waking from slumber as a tiny hand pulled on his ear, forcing him to open his eyes slowly, adjusting to the early morning sunshine. Blue eyes, glinting full of mischief, and a familiar smile beamed down at him.

“Are you ready to play," the little boy with tiny pointy ears asked excitedly.

“Shhh, Mom is still asleep,” Colin answered with a soft voice. “She needs to rest,” he continued, watching her snuggled into his arms, as he caressed her round belly gently. He burst out in a blissful grin at the little kick he just felt.

“I can't wait to meet my little sister and show her how to play Kal-toh,” his son said softly.

“Neither can I,” Colin assured him, placing a kiss where he just felt his daughter move. “I think she says she can't wait for it either,” as he placed his son's little hand over where his little sister was kicking. “Can you feel it?”

“Yes!” He beamed up at Colin with delight so pure and heart-melting Colin’s eyes welled with tears from happiness. He was living a dream he once yearned for. Could life really be so perfect? a fleeting thought whispered at the edge of his awareness.

“Can’t you and Mom make more faster?” the little boy asked curiously.

“Siblings?” Colin chuckled, looking at his son.

“Yes! This one is taking too long to grow,” he complained.

“It takes time and love to grow something so precious. Do you want to hear a story?”

“Always!” Thomas’ eyes glinted with joy-filled anticipation as he snuggled up to his dad and mom, still fast asleep.

“Once upon a time…” Colin started with a soft whisper not to wake his wife, “there was a boy–with pointy ears like yours.” He tickled Thomas' ears and he giggled squirming around. “Who found something precious in the Vulcan desert not far from where he lived.” Thomas’ eyes sparkled with wonder, his little lips froze on an excited ‘oh’ as Colin continued. “He had been reading his books for hours while a few kids from their neighborhood played with each other. But he kept hearing a sound as if something was calling out to him.” He paused, seeing how his little boy’s eyes lit up with curiosity. “At first he didn’t know what to do with it, or how to interpret it. He thought he was making it up in his mind.”

“What sound did he hear, Daddy?” Thomas asked eager to know.

“It was like a whisper, just as soft as a breeze, barely audible,” Colin whispered to his little ears. “But he felt a pull towards it. As the day went by, his curiosity started poking him, nudging him to listen to the whisper.”

“Was he brave enough to go and look for it?” Thomas inquired with a bit of apprehension.

“Not at first. But after trying to avoid it for the whole day, summoning all his training in logical thinking-”

“But Daddy, Mommy says we need to listen to our hearts too. That sometimes our heart knows better, even if it defies logic. Did his Mommy not teach him that?”

“She did!” Colin caressed his son’s face, smiling at the memory of how many times his own mother reminded him of that. His glance fleeted over to his sleeping wife. His heart was full of affection, love and pride thinking about how she helped balance the Vulcan teachings.

“His mom did teach him to listen to his heart,” Colin reassured him. “But the little boy was afraid the other kids would laugh at him because, guess what?” Colin wrinkled his own nose, tapping Thomas’ playfully. “They couldn't hear anything. Only he could.”

“So he was special because he could hear it, right, Daddy? It chose him.” Thomas’ realization struck Colin.

“I guess…” Colin took a moment to process how that perspective changed everything, but had no time to dwell on it. “You’re right. It did choose him. So he waited until everyone went home and then he followed his heart.”

“He was brave enough to go alone?” Thomas asked.

“He was indeed, but because he listened to his heart.” He put his hand on his son’s chest. “Deep down he knew he wasn't in any danger,” Colin assured his boy. “He climbed atop a massive rock formation and what he saw surprised him. It was a big egg, almost as tall as him.” Thomas’ eyes widened in surprise as Colin continued. “No nest, no other eggs, no sign of a mom nearby. So the boy hid and waited to see if maybe the mom returned but she didn't.”

“Oh no, poor little egg. It was all alone.”

“The boy felt the same way, like he needed to take care of this egg, like he was meant to find it and protect it. It was the first time he really felt needed. It wasn't far from his house so he decided to return after dinner to build a nest and brought pillows and blankets with him to keep it warm in the cool desert night. He checked on it every day for weeks. He grew quite fond of his little egg; he talked to it about his day, shared everything about his family. How he loved his seven siblings–three brothers, and four younger sisters–but as the third brother, he often found it hard to find his own voice or figure out what he was supposed to do that none of his siblings did already.”

Colin stopped for a moment. Not wanting to share all the burden that little boy felt with his own. How much he felt left out because he wasn’t old enough for certain responsibilities that fell on his older brothers’ shoulders and missed out on those that his oldest sister claimed as hers as the leader of the girl-pack. How he got used to asking his siblings to join in on certain activities half-jokingly, only to play rejection off as nothing, as if he only jested in the first place wanting in.

How he frequently felt useless, constantly looking for his place in the world so he could contribute to their lives in his own unique way to be worthy of their family name and the values they stood for. Their father was an exemplary Vulcan, leading early exploration and diplomatic missions that spoke volumes of his dedication to scientific inquiry and diplomacy. His work advanced cultural exchange and established mutually beneficial relations with the various species they encountered and befriended thanks to him and his crew’s devotion. He was proud of his father and his achievements, but struggled with the dual sensations he felt every single time seeing him leave, letting him go, secretly dreading it was the last time he hugged him. So time and time again, that little boy poured his heart out to an egg, shedding countless tears in a very un-Vulcan manner, about how he missed his dad who just left on an important, but long mission and wondered if his dad felt the same way as he did when he caught tears in his eyes too as they said their goodbyes.

“I bet none of his siblings cared for an egg, that was all his task, right Daddy?” Thomas asked, bringing his attention back to the story.

“Yes, Thomas. It was his, and his only. Something that only belonged to him. The egg relied on only him and was cared for and loved by only him. Without him, who knows what would have happened to it, so he vowed to always take care of it. Months went by, but the little boy was relentless. He did begin to wonder if the egg could even hear him or understand him, though he tried to show how he cared through his actions too. He wiped the dirt off it and washed and changed the blankets every week. He brought extra blankets on particularly cold nights and built a little structure he could use as a shelter on the rare occasions it rained or when the temperatures were unconventionally hot due to solar flares causing unusually intense heat on the surface. On days he had more free time, he brought his book and read aloud. About stars and galaxies far far away, about meteor showers and places he wanted to visit some day.

Another set of weeks went by, the boy kept researching to find anything about his little egg but unfortunately, he couldn’t find any information about it, despite his gentle prodding at his older brother’s knowledge as well.

He was slowly forced to accept the fact that he won’t know anything about the egg, or when–if–it ever hatches, what creature will emerge from it. He won’t know whether it felt any of his affection and love in the way he cared for it, whether it made any difference. The connection and unique bond he formed with it could have been one-sided, yet he offered his love unconditionally. There was a chance it might not like him at all, let alone feel any kind of attachment to him, or worse, it could eat him alive right away. He logically had to consider that possibility too.”

Thomas’ eyes widened in shock. “Don’t worry, it did not eat him,” Colin quickly added.

“I knew that, Daddy. I felt it in my heart,” he clarified. Colin smiled. “But how long did it take for it to hatch? Longer than I have to wait for my little sister to arrive?”

“Almost…though the boy wasn’t sure how long the egg had already been there, waiting…but one night, there was a spectacular meteor shower and he asked his mom to let him stay out late to watch it.”

“What’s a meteor shower Daddy?” Thomas asked.

“It’s streams of cosmic debris called meteoroids entering the atmosphere at extremely high speeds on parallel trajectories…” Colin paused at his son’s confused look trying to make meaning of his words. He tempered his own excitement to go into the scientific specifics of them. He would have plenty of time to teach his kids all about his favorite celestial objects and their significance in meeting his wife. He thought for a second before he continued, changing from an academy lecturer to a more playful tone to explain them to his son.

“It’s when the night sky celebrates meeting an old friend, and as they hug, the intensity of the moment creates sparkles that suddenly turn to bright golden streaks of light on the purplish-blue night sky, creating a beautiful display, like one of those paintings we have in our house.”

“Wow!” Thomas exclaimed with big, bright eyes, scouting the early morning sky for traces of what his father painted as the most beautiful thing to witness. “I just wish little sister could be here so she could see it too…”

Colin’s heart dropped at how sweet his boy was, and remembering how he wished for something similar back then.

“Well,” he trailed off, “once she is here, we’ll watch one together I promise! You even get to make a wish. They say when you see those golden streaks, you should make a wish. And if you’re lucky, it comes true.” He winked.

“Did the boy make a wish, Daddy?”

“Yes, he did, indeed. Like you, he wished he could share special moments like that with someone he loved,” Colin sighed, remembering. “And then…he heard the egg’s hard shell cracking. He could not believe it. He ran a finger down the line to confirm he wasn’t just imagining it. But no, his egg, the one he so carefully tended for, for months, the one he had grown to love unconditionally, the one that housed a creature he longed to get to know for so long, was finally hatching.”

Thomas’ eyes grew wide, his mouth fell open in anticipation, as Colin continued. “It took a few minutes, and the little boy was holding his breath, walking around the egg impatiently, not knowing what to do. The mystery of the unknown was thrilling, the joy stemming from all the possibilities and adventures that he imagined was waiting for them was almost too overwhelming. He started talking to the little creature, encouraging it, hoping his voice soothed and guided it, ensuring it felt safe to emerge from its secure cocoon. When it finally did, to his biggest surprise, it was a ball of fur. A big fluffy white ball, with little black markings around its face and greyish patches all over its whole body. It had four legs with big paws, a long thick tail, and what looked like wings, still folded shut, on its back. It looked like some kind of a feline-dragon mixture he had never seen or heard of. It for sure wasn’t from Vulcan. The creature looked at him curiously and purred. He instinctively reached out, slowly, not to startle it, and very gently stroked its head between the pointy little ears and the creature leaned into his touch, purring in contentment. From that moment, they were inseparable. He snuck it inside his room and brought all sorts of food and liquids to figure out what it needed. Communication was a bit hard at first, but the creature learned to listen and the boy had a special ability to hear and somehow understand what it needed. Their special bond enabled a two-way communication no one else would or could comprehend.”

“I think I can do it too, Daddy!” Thomas cooed, continuing in a barely audible whisper, his mouth pressed against his mom’s belly, his little hands stroking it gently. “Hey little sister, I am your big brother and you’re my little egg, I’ll always take care of you. You can come out and play anytime you want. I’ll be here waiting patiently.” He left a little kiss there, before turning to his dad once again. Colin was stunned, once more overcome by how lucky and happy he felt at that moment. He looked at his wife, his son cradling her baby bump and he held them a little tighter, as an overjoyed sigh left his lips. “What happened after, Daddy?” his son urged him to continue.

“The creature started growing, and the boy realized he wouldn't be able to hide it for long in his room. And sure enough, one day after school, he couldn’t find it in his room, and went looking for it. And he found it in the most unexpected places of all, in their garden, dozed off, its head resting in his mom’s lap as she stroked the soft fur on its back.”

“Oh, no!” Thomas exclaimed, covering his mouth with his hands immediately for crying out loud.

“Was his mom very angry?” he asked in a low, worry-filled voice.

“The boy had the best mom in the world,” Colin whispered reassuringly, “so she let him tell the story of how he found the egg, took care of it for months, and how he took it in and hid it for weeks after it hatched. His mom was understanding, but also explained that he won’t be able to keep it. The creature was one-of-a-kind, and definitely not from or meant to live on Vulcan. She explained that it would likely suffer from being exposed to the heavy heat for long and the other, more challenging environmental factors that were unfavorable for its heavy build and furry skin. From how much it grew just in those few weeks, they were sure it would be at least twice as tall as him once it grew to its full size.”

“So big?” Thomas was astonished. Colin silently nodded, still remembering every word that followed in their conversation with his mom. How she explained that it meant the creature wouldn’t be able to fly. Vulcan was famous for its thin atmosphere, lower atmospheric pressure and higher gravitational pull, those alone making it highly impossible for his new little friend to ever conquer the skies there, but its heavy fur coat and the extreme high temperatures outside would have also rendered it to a life in a climate controlled indoor confinement for its own sake and safety. He was heartbroken learning about the fate the creature had to face if it stayed on Vulcan and understood that despite his love, he couldn’t stay selfish. That love meant letting go so that the creature could live a better, happier life somewhere else, even if it was without him. “So,” he began with a somber voice, “his mom contacted the Vulcan Science Academy and they helped find a planet where the creature could thrive and fly and live happily with other creatures just like it.” Colin swallowed down the tears prickling his eyes.

It was the first time he learned life’s biggest lesson. That sometimes, love itself wasn’t enough to make someone happy. No matter how much he had and poured out from his own heart. No matter what he did, offering everything he could, because it still wasn’t enough. It was the first time he began building walls around his heart, rationalizing closing it off from another heartache and loss like that. And brick by brick, day by day, year by year, he slowly stopped the bleeding.

His grief of what could have been faded and greyed out, the endless adventures he imagined sharing with the creature, exploring hidden corners of Vulcan, soaring through the luminous night sky, enjoying the beautiful views from a standalone cliff just because they could fly there, just the two of them, still haunted him in his dreams. He mourned the plans he made showing Vulcan from his perspective, and became somber every time he did something he previously planned to share with it after they took it to its new home world. At the beginning it felt like it would never end, the sorrow, the feeling of injustice, the pain and futility of his powerlessness against something so logical yet inexplicably wrong at the same time, the severing of a bond so instinctual and special frayed his heart no matter how hard he argued it was the most logical and best thing to do. He was just a kid, a quite bright one at that, trying to make meaning of it, of life, of nature's will, and the sacrifices it took to grow.

The more he learned to control his mind and thoughts, and let logic take over him, the easier it got, though it never stopped. For years, not a day went by without a thought of how the creature was doing and whether it was indeed, happier. He closed his eyes, willing away the pain he felt then, the pain he carried ever since, even today.

“But look, Daddy, it’s here, it came back!” Thomas’ voice called out to him from the distance and his eyes shot up right away, searching for him.

“Thrane, NO! Please, don’t-” Colin cried out, his voice choked back, as the creature silently nodded and took off with Thomas and Pen securely straddled on its back.

Colin sat up in the bed suddenly, panting, looking around frantically, trying to remember where he was. Another wave of panic hit him as he found the other side of the bed cold and empty. His heart was pounding heavy in his chest, his breath still ragged, his eyes welled with tears, the cruel dream still keeping him in a chokehold.

Was it all just a dream?

He nervously ran his hands through his hair, pushing the palms of his hands to his temple, trying to make sense of it all. He could still see and feel it so vividly. His wife snuggled up to him, his son’s wide blue eyes, his tiny hands next to his on her rounding belly. The little kick against his palm from their daughter. He ran his fingers against his palm in a desperate need to feel it again.

His gaze fleeted to the spot he last saw them, where the creature was standing, his large wings flapping around as it took off, swirling the air around. A cold breeze made him shiver, realizing the morning chill on his skin.

He closed his eyes, running his fingers through his hair again in frustration, tugging at his curls at the base of his neck. A feeling, familiar yet strange rushed through him. The memory of a shiver…evoked by Pen fisting and tugging on his hair.

‘Pen,’ he sighed.

His fingers smoothed over the pillow next to his. The fabric, silky and smooth, mournfully cool, a painful reminder of the softness and warmth under his fingertips there mere hours ago.

The whole bed smelled of her, a mixture of longing, and sex, of wild desires and unfulfilled dreams.

He traced his hand over the sheet where her slick mingled with him left a wet spot, then tugged her pillow closer to bury his face in it, to inhale her scent, filling his lungs. It soothed him, and he kept breathing in and exhaling into the pillow, his face buried deep, trying to hold onto the last bits of her he could touch, smell, feel. She was but a ghost though, no other sign of her ever being there.

Was she real? Was any of this real? Was he still dreaming?

Why couldn't he tell a dream from reality? Why did he refuse to in the first place?

He glanced around, realizing he was fully naked, seeing his clothes scattered on the ground in the distance. Flashes of Pen’s eager hands undressing him fought for existence between logic and delusion in his mind.

The fog in his head made it hard to concentrate, like an unfocused lens, visions from his dream, the past 24 hours and the last few days all blurred together now. The heady scent enveloping him in the bed too intoxicating to ignore, claiming space for its own memories tied to it. He couldn’t think straight.

He needed to focus. His eyes shut closed in desperation, in an attempt to dim some of his senses and refocus others. He pinched the bridge of his nose for a few seconds, then started massaging his temple; eyes still closed in concentration, wanting order in his overwhelmed skull where chaos ruled unapologetically.

He attempted to begin an old Vulcan meditation, Kithira, the "structure of harmony". It should have helped him to restore his mental control, focus his thoughts and get that order he so longed for in his mind ridden with chaos.

‘Structure. Logic. Function. Control. A structure cannot stand without a foundation. Logic is the foundation of function. Function is the essence of control. I am in control. I am in control.’ He repeated the mantra he’d been taught by his father. ‘I am in control.’

But he wasn’t.

How could he be? When he had to fight his own self even at the thought of that? When his human side betrayed him in a tug-of-war, reminding him of another Kythira, in Ancient Greece, the birthplace of Aphrodite Urania, the goddess of love in human mythology, associated with one’s attraction to the mind and soul?

He groaned in frustration.

Even in his attempt to question Pen’s very existence, or her significance, his subconscious reminded him she was all but equal to a goddess to him, and a part of him couldn’t deny his love and the inexplicable connection he felt from the very first time they met—in truth, even before that.

He shook his head, forcing himself to try to focus once more.

Clearing away those memories, false or not, was as harrowing and impossible of a task as if he had to shove his whole life–a perfectly happy one it seemed–down the pit of a volcano. He could not emerge from it unburnt, wondering if what he gained was worth the sacrifice.

He inspected every one of those pictures cataloged in his head, against the pang of his heart and the rational logic of his expertly-trained Vulcan reasoning.

He ran the marbles through the maze in his brain, carefully examining each one as they tore through him, leaving permanent dents and marks at every turn before most shattered to pieces or turned to dust.

Was what was left the truth or what he wanted it to be?

Pen captured his interest with her scent at first, then enticed and engaged him further with her sharp wit and playful banter, proving to be his equal if not superior on an intellectual level. She allured and tormented him with her gorgeous body, awakening a primal need he didn’t know he had in him. But what finally won him over was their emotional connection, the unexplainable bond that tied them together ever since their mind meld.

Despite their different backgrounds and life circumstances, they bonded with unspoken words and unlabeled emotions. With silent exchanges flowing like a surging river, carrying the knowledge of thousands of conversations between them all at once in the blink of an eye. Each shared thought a deeper intimacy than a hundred spoken confessions. Two souls, minds intertwined in their most vulnerable state, sharing with each other their deepest, truest selves without ever revealing or being confined by the hard shells and masks they had to put on for the world.

The irony of knowing her innermost thoughts and fears before her name wasn’t lost on him. Or that he knew what common demons haunted them at night, from the weight of choosing the right thing to do through the duty of caring for their families and people, to the pain they shared about the abrupt disappearance of their fathers. He knew she journaled to process her feelings and loved to get lost reading ancient books just like him. In less than a span of a heartbeat, he knew she was a person he’d find himself drawn to if they met before, just like he knew how she calmed and grounded him, anchored his nervous energy somehow during their mind meld despite her being in unbearable pain.

Colin had done mind melds before, none of which had left him with the profound sense of familiarity and mutual understanding, of unquestionable closeness, of coming home to a place he belonged. His mind kept breaking the logical shackles weighing down the impossibility of this feeling. That whatever he felt for her transcended every logic and Vulcan teaching. That whatever he felt for her was…real.

Somehow, this little goddess removed his carefully built walls by allowing him to be free, to be himself.

She showed him kindness, saving him from the Lunarian guards–however unconventional cuffing him while doing so turned out to be. She tempered the awakening beast he was desperately fighting within him. She cared for him in ways he hasn’t been cared for before. Made him feel needed, wanted, like he hadn’t felt in over a decade; trusting him to take care of her in her most vulnerable state once more. She entrusted him with her body, opening up to him, letting him be the source of her pleasure. Their intellectual connection deepened with the physical, reaching intimacies he never dreamed of.

Colin’s whole life was spent in service of others, trying to please, to prove, to live up to the highest standards. It was all in competition with others. To be the best brother among the four, or the best behaving sibling of eight while his father was away, the best officer in a class full of overachievers at Starfleet Academy, the youngest to sit in the captain chair, the first to go to an undiscovered quadrant, the first half-Vulcan to achieve something that can only be associated with his name, and his only.

She soothed his hidden insecurities. Accepted him for what he was. She didn’t go back to that wretched lord. He didn't have to win her over.

She chose him.

She let him–she demanded him–to show her his worst, to let the beast take over, to be rough and unburdened and guilt free without consequences for the first time in his life and she still wanted him afterwards.

She wasn’t disgusted with him like Marina, throwing and twisting a dagger at his heart when she severed their bond–confessing she was glad her future children will only know the Vulcan way and won’t have to feel shame, because their small ears would make their impure heritage obvious.

Pen didn’t call him a freak, like that scum he locked in the shed. She didn’t rub in his nose that he wasn’t enough, on the contrary, she did everything to make him feel like he was.

She even indulged him in his ridiculous game, letting him prove the impact he had on her. His inexplicable feral need to have an undeniable proof that she was his from head to toe, till the ends of every last strand of hair. She let him claim her as his. To alter her DNA, leaving his imprint on her the way she did on him unconsciously.

She let him claim her in a way no one else could, so no one else could take her away from him. What other proof was there to be had?

Bit by bit she pieced his heart together. Every touch, every tease, every kiss, every strand of red hair another protective layer around it. She made him believe in that dream. She made him want it all with her. Love, a lifelong bond, family.

She made him believe in hope. Hope that together, they can have it all.

He realized they saved each other in more ways than one. And he didn't want to fight it anymore. The fact that he was hers and she was his safe harbour despite it all, the fragile chaos and the unknown future looming over them.

The moment he realized what those all-consuming feelings flooding his mind, guiding his senses to overdrive were, everything suddenly made sense. Why his whole body was overtaken by a desire to be with her, protect her, claim her. Why a sudden inner voice awakened in him spelling it out for him. His broken heart was unable to notice it sooner. It was dormant for it gave up on that feeling forever years ago.

His flawed logic still couldn’t grapple with the origin of it all, so for the first time in his life he shoved the key unknown factor aside. It couldn’t be fate. But then what was it?

It didn’t matter after all. Because he solved the equation without it.

His love hadn’t been a thunderbolt from the sky. It had started with a smile, a word, a teasing glance. Every second he had spent in her presence it had grown, until he’d reached that moment. And he suddenly knew. His mind, his body and his soul, every inch of him felt it and knew it. He loved her.

His love for Pen so far was a whisper in the night. A secret he no longer wanted to carry and hide away. In fact, he wanted to share it all. Everything.

What foods he tried and loved on Lunaria, that he could get drunk on chocolate brandy, that he had eight siblings who drove him mad but he still couldn’t imagine his life without their constant teasing and meddling. He wanted her to meet them; had a feeling she’d strike up a friendship with Eloise and Hyacinth right away, and just knew his mother would welcome her with open arms.

He was eager to learn about her life on Lunaria too. He felt her strong sense of duty and wanting to help their people. If she was willing to share, his crew might be able to help. If she worked in the palace, she could connect them to the right leaders. After all, his secondary mission here was to figure out and deescalate whatever was going on between the Lunarians and the Solarians.

And he still had his primary mission to complete. To find his sister and father and his crew. He was ready to share why he was on Lunaria. It was unconventional and had its certain risks, but he was confident that after what they shared, he could trust her. He had to tell her. He didn’t want to just disappear, in case he got caught up in his mission for weeks. She deserved better, especially knowing exactly how she felt when her dad suddenly disappeared. He didn’t know the circumstances–it remained hidden under the heavy curtain during their mind meld–but he knew how she felt. She let him see the pain, the grief, the powerlessness, the constant nagging of what ifs. The guilt. Of moving on, of giving up. His heart clenched at the thought of her pain, feeling it all at once.

His body responded immediately. Surprisingly, just thinking about her pain triggered his inner alarms and he felt the adrenaline rush spurring him to action.

Soothe her. Protect her. Mate her.

He knew what he had to do. He jumped out of the bed and into the pool to quickly freshen up, then went hunting for his clothes shed all over the garden. His grin grew wider as he put each piece on, now remembering vividly what followed when they were discarded. He found the golden ribbon from her corset and started playing with it, weaving it around his fingers, imagining that next time he would be the one untying them. He placed a soft kiss on the silk bunched up in his fist, inhaling her lingering scent, then shoved it in his pocket.

He had to find Pen. Talk to her. He had important questions to ask.

And then, once he was back on the ship, he had to contact Anthony to let him know of his plans of staying behind after their mission was complete. To ask for some time off, again–cashing in another big favor–so he could figure out the remaining details with Pen. Like the logistics of where they want to live their life and get married. Hope bloomed again in his chest on the thought of her saying yes. Making his dream come true.

His Vulcan logic tried to find flaws in his plan but couldn’t. It all made perfect sense.

--------------------------

Colin slowed his steps, hearing the familiar voices in the distance. He kept moving closer, but his strides were measured and featherlight, to avoid revealing his approach, not wanting to ruin the surprise.

The pounding in his chest intensified, her alluring scent stringing him along, driving him blindly towards her until the trees started to clear and Pen’s body finally materialized.

In the end he found her.

Standing in a distance with Rae. He remembered her promising to check in on Pen the previous day.

Pen. His Pen. She was real. And beautiful.

The most beautiful creature he’s ever seen. He blinked three times and sighed in relief when she was still there. Glowing.

It stopped him in his tracks. The morning sunlight enveloping her like a soft blanket.

Her cheeks were a little flushed, the yellow-golden dress she wore yesterday hugging her waist and hips, the flowy skirt dancing around her thighs in the light breeze. She was not wearing the corset underneath, her gorgeous breasts were barely contained, spilling out of the flimsy neckline.

She shook her head fiercely, her locks dancing around her form, cascading down her back like a waterfall in the setting sun, red curls mixed seamlessly with golden blond streaks. He was sure her hair was all auburn last night.

He stepped closer before Rae’s voice made him freeze again.

“You know he can never be your true mate. He is not a pureblood Alpha. He can’t knot you either and you’ll need that to ease your heats, to have…you always wanted a family,” she sighed. “And you need to be properly mated before the ceremony.” Her voice was soft and soothing, yet Colin felt the razor-sharp slice of each word he heard. The damage irrevocable to his heart by those that followed.

“I can still take the lord, Rae. Don’t worry about this now. Tell me about Eloise instead.”

“She is all locked up. They won’t find her.”

If heartbreak had a sound, it was the last breath leaving Colin’s chest now: something airy and full of promise weighed down, heavy and ragged. Something that used to give life, now suffocating by sucking it out of him.

If heartbreak had a sound, it was the silent swoosh of the wildflowers in his hand dropping to the ground, the gentle thud of them touching the forest floor, a faint scatter of a bouquet of delicately assembled dreams, Forget Me Nots buried under the pile, the quiet snap of the most brittle one of them all, the Bleeding Heart. It was bees buzzing, birds chirping, the rustling of leaves in the gentle breeze.

How could life go on when his, as he knew it, just ended?

If heartbreak had a sound, it would be all of this. A silent mixture of how hope shatters and scatters on the ground of reality.

Colin wished he never woke up the third time.