Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The school year was coming to an end and today they would have an orientation talk with curators from different universities. Riki was a little bit nervous today because they have to do a test which will help them choose most suitable profession for them. It didn't mean that they had to follow the results of the test, no. Everyone had the right to choose what they liked best. Since Riki from childhood loved art in its different forms and drawing he wanted to connect his life with design. He considered various options for entering the university and settled on Belift, which combines a lot of interesting programs. The only thing that marred his days at school was the thought of not seeing Sunghoon. The likelihood that he will choose another university is extremely high and it's distressing for Riki. After getting his result done he went to consult with curator who told him that he should stick to what he think is best for him. 

"You are really talented, Riki-ssi. I advise you to follow your dream of being a designer but you will accomplish a lot even if you choose career as an office worker", the middle-aged woman told him with a kind smile. 

"Thank you, i really appreciate the support", Riki politely bowed his head before leaving the room. 

"How did it go?" he was startled hearing Sunghoon's voice after closing the door behind him. Riki jumped up on the spot  almost screaming from surprise making Sunghoon laugh. 

"It went well, Hoonie. They said its best for me to follow the dream of being a designer", Riki says with a dreamy expression and a smile on his face. A smile that Sunghoon really loves to see. Seeing Riki happy makes him happy as well. His best friend smile is really beautiful that he almost got caught up staring at him. 

He blushes a bit and scratches his head. "That's really good, Ki. You are amazing in what you do I can't stop being fascinated by your creations."

Riki nods while blushing but the nagging question he wanted to ask Sunghoon kept repeating in his head. "What was your result? What they told you?"

"Ah, i would make a great career in bushiness as i wanted", Sunghoon answers taking him by the hand and going towards canteen. "I am still thinking of where to study... Where are you going, Ki?"

Here it is the question he dreaded and wanted to avoid. "I am going to Belift it has many opportunities for designers and its not far from out hometown. And you?" Riki is nervous asking Sunghoon that because he fears the answer that he hears wont make him happy.  

"Hmm, not sure yet but Belift seems like a good choice as well. Their business programs are pretty good so we might end up at the same university, Ki", he smiles and Riki exhales the air he has been holding this whole time. Sunghoon's answer made him a little bit happier and eased his nerves.  

"I would be happy to study with you together", Riki smiles at him and Sunghoon's heart skips a beat and he blushes looking away. Only Riki can make him a blushing mess just with a simple sentence. "Do you think Jay-hyung will go with us? I know Heeseung and Jakey hyungs are studying there", Riki thinks aloud pursing his lips.

Sunghoon's gaze lingers a bit longer than necessary and he licks his own lips wanting to taste them. He really need to get his shit together and confess to Riki. He is honestly a little bit scared to confess but with Jay's support and seeing Riki's reactions he made a conclusion that his feelings might be mutual. 

"Hoonie? Are you listening?" Riki asks noticing Sunghoon zoning out and follows his gaze blushing furiously. Sunghoon clears his throat and nods his head.

"Yes, Jay told me he is going to Belift so if we both go we will reunite again. I know you miss Heeseung and Jake hyungs a lot", he teases Riki who rolls his eyes and elbow him in the ribs. Sunghoon groans and laughs keeping on teasing him while they walk to the canteen. 

After finishing eating Sunghoon drops him off at his next class but before Riki can leave he says: "By the way meet me today after school on the rooftop".

Riki wanted to ask him why but Sunghoon already ran away from him leaving him questioning what could be so important that they have to meet up at the rooftop. The lessons pass in a blur and Riki finds himself on the rooftop. The sky is painted in a hew of orange colors and Riki's hands itch to sketch this view. He spots Sunghoon's wide back and walks towards him. 

"Hoonie, have you been waiting for long?"

"Not at all, Ki. Thank you for coming".

"Why do we have to meet up here? You could've told me anything while we went back home", Riki really wonders what Sunghoon has to say. His heart is beating fast and he bites his lower lips feeling nervous. 

"Riki, there is something i want to tell you and its important so listen closely", Sunghoon starts his voice is firm and it makes Riki unintentionally tense up. 

What could be so important that Sunghoon brought him on the rooftop of their school? What if he is leaving Riki alone to study in another university? He heard his best friend talking with their other friends during lunch time that he got invited to a very good university and he is thinking of accepting it. Riki will probably come back to their hometown if no university will want to accept him. He wants to chase his dream of becoming a designer so he has no right to hold Sunghoon back.

"It has been eating me alive for a while now. Its nothing bad so don't worry, Ki. The truth is i have feelings for you that goes beyond friendship. I know you might not believe me but please do. I really like you, Riki", Sunghoon admits and Riki is speechless. He really doesn't know what to say to this. "Ki... I-"

"Sunghoon, i like you too. I loved you since childhood but i thought you never felt the same", Riki admits blushing and looking away from his no longer best friends. 

"I admit it took me longer than it should. But i like you, Riki". 

"You are not pranking me, right? Its not a joke you are sincere?" Riki asks his voice trembling because he wont survive being played with. His heart aches and his hands tremble due to nerves. Sunghoon chuckles and turns him to face him, he smiles at Riki and caresses his cheek with the knuckles of his hand. 

"No i am not, Ki. My feelings are sincere even if i understood and accepted them not long time ago. You were always there for me taking care of me and supporting my dreams. I am grateful for it", Sunghoon says his gaze is warm and Riki blushes trying to look at anything except the boy in front of him. "Riki, can i kiss you?"

Riki's heart skips a beat and he is unable to form words. He nods his head and closes his eyes tightly mentally preparing himself for what comes next. Sunghoon chuckles and shakes his head before slowly approaching him. "You are shaking", he says and Riki opens his eyes the moment their lips touch. He freezes on the spot looking at Sunghoon's beautiful eyes holding so many emotions in them. And Riki allows his body to relax and enjoy his first kiss with the person he loved for so long. They separate from each other with silly smiles on their faces both are equally happy to be together. 

"I will love you always and forever. I promise to take care of you, Riki", Sunghoon smiles before kissing him on the lips again. Riki smiles into the kiss and his heart blooms with love for someone who is so important in his life. A chaste kiss conveying all the feelings and emotions they feel at this moment. Their friends are clapping and whistling congratulating them and Riki knows he is the happies person on this planet. He smiles at Sungoon and sees the love and adoration reflecting in his eyes mirroring what he feels. They laugh and turn to their friends who look at them with happy smiles.

He trusted this promise, he believed in sincerity of Sunghoon's words and never doubted him even after so many years. But who knew that their happily ever after wont last a lifetime?

-----

Six years later

Lately Riki started noticing the distancing of his boyfriend from him. They have been together for so many years and such a sudden change makes him worried and anxious. Every day he wants to bring it up but seeing how tired Sunghoon looks coming back from work he can't bring himself to start such serious conversation. He really tries hard to avoid any kind of confrontation with his lover but it becomes increasingly harder with each passing day. 

It all started with small things like not giving him a goodbye kiss or missing breakfast because he had to go to work earlier. And don't get him wrong Riki understood it well and he didn't complain but than Sunghoon stopped showing any kind of affection towards him. Riki tried to bring it up but Sunghoon would always brush it off and tell him something like: 'I have no time for your tantrums now, Riki. Lets talk once i am home'. And as you all can understand the conversation never happened. Despite that Riki still gave his lover kisses, hugs and waited for him till late night. Sometimes he felt like Sunghoon took it for granted. If you see love as a two cups when one always give his love away and never get something in return over time, the cup empties. 

That is exactly how Riki felt lately - empty. He was dissatisfied, tired and sad. He long for affection from Sunghoon and care, remembering times when they just started dating. Oh how beautiful it was. But you know the saying? At the beginning love between two people is beautiful but in the end they let each other go? Riki always felt sad hearing it but now he understood it more and more. Being together with Sunghoon was beautiful but now it became dull, like the flower of their love withered. Riki tried to save it he really did but seeing no effort from his boyfriend he felt like giving up. He couldn't understand what went wrong and how could he fix it. But the more important question: did Sunghoon want to fix it?  

The morning greeted Riki with cold and empty spot on the bed beside him and he had to hold back tears of frustration. He woke up alone yet again. How many times did that happen? He lost count. He allows himself to cry silently because this past month his emotions are overboard. He turns around and lifts up on his elbows, looking at the empty spot on the bed beside him. Anger overwhelms him, and he desperately punches the pillow where Sunghoon is sleeping. 

Tears cover his eyes, but he spews out the anger and resentment, wanting to release it for good. A couple minutes pass by unnoticed and he stops, crying loudly with frustration. Thoughts swarm in his head, one worse than the other. Could Sunghoon have fallen out of love with him after all these years? Did he do something wrong? A sudden burst of nausea and dizziness makes him jump out of bed and run to the bathroom. He empties his stomach and flushes after himself. Riki rises from the cold tile and walks to the sink. Looking at himself in the mirror a chuckle escapes his lips. He looks sickly: pale, his lips have lost their rich color, and there are black circles under his eyes from lack of sleep. He shakes his head and washes his face and brushes his teeth.  

After finishing his bathing procedures he dresses up and brushes his hair before leaving the bedroom and going to the kitchen. He finds it empty and the little hope he had for Sunghoon to be at home disappeared. Not having much apatite he makes green tea and plain toasts. Most of the food lately makes him repulsive so he can barely eat. Riki opens his phone to book an appointment with doctor although he thinks his current condition is due to stress from work and his crumbling relationship. Sunghoon sent him a message that he is at work, well at least something. He quickly replies with 'have a good day, love you' and puts his phone away knowing too well that his boyfriend will reply only after a few hours. 

Finishing his food he washes the dishes and takes his briefcase. After putting on coat and shoes he leaves the apartment, locking the door behind him. Fresh autumn air greets him and the sky is painted grey as if conveying his mood. Riki sighs and goes towards the bus stop its ten minutes away and Riki left his house earlier so he has no need to hurry. He greeted the neighbours who was working in their garden, harvesting plants and cleaning everything before winter comes. After boarding the bus he loses himself in his thoughts thinking about his relationship with Sunghoon. 

Riki has been replaying events of the past trying to find what went wrong but each time it was futile. He couldn't pinpoint the time when shit went wrong and it made him frustrated. He really should talk about it with his friends but he doesn't want to bother them. Second opinion is great but his friends are busy with their own lives and Riki prefers to deal with his problems on his own. What if his worries are groundless? But Riki feels that something is wrong and their relationship is like a ticking bomb that will blow out soon. Little did he know it's gonna happen sooner than he expected. 

----

As soon as his work was finished Riki said goodbye to his colleagues and went to the clinic where he booked an appointment. It was twenty minutes walk from his office so he could enjoy fresh air after stale air of his office. Work was surprisingly easy today and he was praised by his manager for a job well done which made him more and more happy. He has been nauseous even at work and had to vomit a few times but other than that nothing really worried him.  

Finally he reached his destination and with hesitant steps he walked inside the clinic. It was a bright space with high ceilings and beige colored walls. There is leather coaches scattered around the reception area, plants are hanging on the walls and standing on the floor. Riki walked towards the reception desk and was greeted by a bright smiling woman.

"Hello and welcome to Sunshine Clinic. How can i help you?" she politely bows her head greeting him. 

"Hello, my name is Nishimura Riki and i have appointment with doctor Sooyong", he says feeling nervous but the woman smiles at him and nods her head typing something on her computer. 

"Yes, i see. Mr. Nishimura you have to sign those papers and doctor Sooyong will be waiting for you on the second floor room 30", she says handing him a few papers that he quickly reads and signs before leaving his clothes in the checkroom. 

Riki takes the elevator for the second floor biting his lips from nerves. He is worried and the nausea came back to him. He is feeling dizzy so he leans on the elevator wall feeling cold metal against his cheek. The elevator dings and Riki walks out of it seeing the sign that room 30 is to the right. He walks to the door his heart beating louder and his palms are sweating. He knocks and hears soft 'come in' before pushing the door open. 

"Good evening, Mr. Nishimura. I am doctor Sooyong please take a seat", she says gesturing towards the chair next to her table. 

Riki nods and hesitantly moves to take a seat in front of the doctor. 

"So what brought you here? What are you concerned about?" she asks looking directly at him. 

Riki bites his lower lip and swallows the lump in his throat. "I have been feeling dizzy for a few weeks. And i have been vomiting and having nausea from different smells. Even food i like doesn't seem to interest me."

"Okay, have you taken pregnancy test, Mr. Nishimura?"

"Huh?" Riki is so confused as to why he has to take a pregnancy test. 

"You are intersex, Mr. Nishimura as it said in your medical file therefore you can get pregnant", she explains to him patiently, there is no hint of disgust or anything else in her voice. 

"Yes, i know i am intersex but my doctor told me that there was something wrong with my reproductive system and the possibility of getting pregnant was low. So i never thought i could get pregnant", Riki's voice is shaking as he explains what he have been told by another doctor. 

"There is always a chance even if its a small one. Lets do the test and i will suggest you to do a blood test as well so we can confirm it", she takes out a small pink box and hands it to him. "The toilet is on the right one door from my office. Do it and come back here, Mr. Nishimura", she gives him a small smile and Riki nods before standing up and leaving the room.

He does everything according to instruction and is terrified of waiting five minutes. Its been the most agonizing five minutes of his life. He has no idea what to do if he is pregnant. Of course Riki would be happy but at the same time what would Sunghoon say? Judging by how their relationship now he doubts Sunghoon will be happy. They are on a brick of break up, which is why Riki doesn't know how to react. Especially since the doctor claimed that the probability of pregnancy is extremely low. As he paces back and forth in the bathroom, he thinks he's going to have a panic attack. His heart is pounding frantically as the five minutes pass and he picks up the test strip with trembling hands. Closing his eyes, he turns it over to see two pink lines. He's expecting a baby. It's true.   

He came back in the doctors Sooyong's office feeling anxious, his legs felt like jelly as he sat down on the chair on front of her table. 

She waited for a few seconds before finally asking. "Mr. Nishimura could you tell me the result of the test?"

"Its positive..." Riki answered barely above the whisper, his throat felt tight and words came out with more difficulty than it should. 

"I see, than we should do a blood test as well just to confirm it and i will schedule you an ultrasound diagnostic afterwards. Once we confirm the pregnancy i will prescribe you the vitamins," she says typing something on her computer as Riki nods his head, "Here is the list of what to avoid during pregnancy and what might help you with dizziness and morning sickness", she places a paper in front of him and Riki takes it, putting it away. 

"Thank you", he says looking at doctor Sooyong who smiles back at him. 

"Than shall we confirm the next appointment? How does next friday sounds like?" she asks patiently waiting for an answer not rushing her patient. 

"Yes, i can definitely come", Riki agrees marking the date on his phone so as not to forget about the appointment. 

"Good, than i shall see you next Friday Mr. Nishimura. If you will have any questions regarding your pregnancy i am happy to answer them". 

"Thank you, doctor Sooyong. I will monitor my condition and prepare some questions if they will arise. Have a good day", Riki stands up and bows before leaving the office. 

The doctor nods with a gentle smile. "Please take care of yourself, Mr. Nishimura."

His thoughts are a whirlwind of confusion and fear. Riki has always known he was born with a condition that made male pregnancy possible, but it was something so rare that he had never thought it would happen to him. Now, the reality was setting in, and it was as terrifying as it was fascinating. The thought that kept repeating in his head is how to tell that to Sunghoon? They are both still in their late twenties and mostly pursuing their careers. He sighs heavily leaving the clinic behind. He will find a way and the right time to tell everything to Sunghoon.

-----

Sunghoon came back home earlier than usual today. Riki was surprised but went to the door to meet and greet him. He had a big smile on his face feeling happy with the news of his pregnancy that he really wanted to share with his boyfriend. He hoped maybe this news can mend their relationship. Sunghoon looked tired and a little bit nervous when Riki kissed him on a cheek and got a kiss in return. Before when he come home they would kiss each other on the lips, Sunghoon would hug him close and whisper how much he missed him but Riki cant remember the last time they did that. 

"Welcome back, Hoonie", Riki says stepping back to let him take off his shoes and coat. Sunghoon nods his head and gives him a small smile. 

"Its good to be back, Ki. How was your day?" he asks as they move to the living room and Riki is happy just to have a simple chat. Both of them have been so busy that even a small chat is something that they couldn't do. 

"It was busy today but my manager actually praised me for a good design i made", Riki shares and sees how his boyfriend smiles at him. 

"Everything you do deserves praising, Ki. I will go take a shower and then we eat, okay?" 

"Yes, i will set up the table and wait for you in the living room."

Sunghoon comes back ten minutes later and both go to the kitchen attracted by the scent of freshly made food. 

"What is this amazing dinner for? What are we celebrating?" Sunghoon asks looking at the table full of different dishes both his favorite and Riki's. 

"There is something i want to tell you", Riki smiles at him sitting down at the table. 

"I want to tell you something as well, Ki. It is important", Sunghoon's lowers his gaze to the empty plate not knowing how to start. 

"Okay, you go first than, Hoonie", Riki says feeling nervous and at the same time excited because he wants to share good news with his boyfriend. 

"I know it might sound unexpected, Ki. But i thought about it for a long time and i think the best thing to do for us is to break up", Sunghoon finally says refusing to look at Riki fearing what he will see.

The smile falls off Riki's face in a flash. He didn't expect to hear such words from Sunghoon. In the back of his mind, he knew it would come to this at some point, because there was a cold period in their relationship, but Riki assumed it was due to his workload, and as soon as Sunghoon was free, they would be able to reconnect. Unfortunately, the reality was far from what he had envisioned.

"I... I don't even know what to say."

"Riki, I realize this comes as a complete surprise to you and I'm really sorry things have come to this. But I've been so busy at work these past few months and the stress has completely consumed me that I haven't been able to give you enough time and attention. I'm ashamed and so sorry, but I don't think I can keep this up. You are important to me, but my career is also important. However, I don't want you to suffer from my treatment towards you," Sunghoon has a hard time talking about his feelings, but he wants Riki to understand him. "The reason is not you, but me."

"Sunghoon... Is this really what you think is best? Why haven't you talked with me about it?" Riki asks desperately he clenches his fists underneath the table so Sunghoon wont see them tremble.  

"I didn't know how to approach this subject and what to tell you, because no matter what i say it won't hurt any less", he finally looks up at Riki seeing the painful expression on his face. 

Not knowing what to say Riki stand up from the table and goes to the living room Sunghoon follows him from behind. There is too many emotions raging in his heart that he doesn't know what he wants to do. Yell at Sunghoon? Hit him for causing him such pain? He is so frustrated that all the happiness of is pregnancy overshadowed by hurt and confusion. 

"Riki, i am so sorry", Sunghoon says putting a hand on his shoulder but Riki flinches and moves away. 

"No... no don't touch me! You don't get to do this now. I don't need your pity", Riki says his voice strained from emotions his hands are shaking just like his whole body. "Just... let me breath for a bit".

"I will go and pack my things than, Ki", Sunghoon says his hand itches to touch Riki again but he knows better. He goes to the bedroom leaving his lover alone with his thoughts. 

Riki tries to calm down the trembling in his hands and catch his breath. The silence of the house is deafening and only the beating of his own heart can be heard. Sunghoon said he'll pack his things and leave, but that's not what Riki wants. He doesn't want to break up with him after so many years together. Tears drip down his cheeks onto his cold hands, and he stares at a single point on the wall, unable to accept that the love of his life is just going to leave. His beautiful fairy tale will end today.

He hears Sunghoon leave the room and the clatter of the suitcase wheels on the floor. Riki wipes the tears from his face and turns around to face him. He desperately wants to remember every feature, the look in his eyes and the taste of his lips. Riki takes a deep breath, gathering his strength and pulling himself together. It's too late to change anything when everything is already decided. He gets up from the couch and walks over to Sunghoon, standing across from him.

Sunghoon chooses to look away, ashamed of his own decision and the pain Riki has caused. Riki bites his lip, holding back another flood of tears.

"Is it really going to end like this for us?" he whispers, keeping his eyes on Sunghoon's handsome face. He reaches out and runs his palm over his lover's slightly stubbled cheek. "Do we really have to break up?"

"Riki..." Sunghoon exhales and finally looks at him. His eyes are an ocean of pain and doubt, but he takes his hand in his own and kisses the back of it. Seeing Riki cry once again his heart breaks. "Please don't cry. I don't deserve your tears after everything I've done. What pain I've caused you..."

"I still love you, Hoonie..." Riki cries, his breathing hitching. "But if that's what you want, then I'll let you go."

"I love you too. It hurts me to let you go, but i think we cant go like this. Thank you for everything, Riki. The time we had together was the most beautiful for me, I cherish our happy and bad memories and i am grateful for you being with me for so long, supporting me and loving me", Sunghoon's voice is full of emotions that he tries so hard to hide. Riki smiles at him and nods his head. Its time to let him go. 

"Can i kiss you one last time?" Riki asks his voice is shaking and tears well up in his eyes. 

Sunghoon's face confronts in pain and he is on the verge of crying but he nods his head wanting to feel his boyfriend's lips one last time on his own. Riki leans forward and kisses him closing his eyes and letting tears fall down his cheeks and melting in a kiss adding it salty flavor. In his thoughts he is back at the time of confession when Sunghoon kissed him and promised to take care of him. But now? He broke the promise but Riki wont blame him for it even if his heart broke into million pieces. 

The kiss lasted a few minutes and Riki broke away from his lips wiping the tears from his cheeks. He sees the pain in Sunghoon's eyes reflecting his own and god it hurts so much to let someone you love go. But their relationship had reached a dead end. Both of them did not know where to start and how to put the spark of love back into their relationship. It was like a beautiful flower that they both had stopped watering and the petals had fallen off, and the beauty itself had wilted. Riki tried desperately to hold on to the fragile thread that held them together, but Sunghoon had cut it off. Riki didn't blame him, no. Maybe they should have talked and discussed things, given each other time to think things over, but it was too late to change things. They'll break up and both go their separate ways no matter how much it hurts. Riki will keep his pregnancy a secret, but he won't hide who the father is from the baby.

Sunghoon deserves to know that he's having a baby, but Riki doesn't want him to think like that's the reason they should stay together. That's the reason he keeps quiet. When the time comes they will meet again but for now he is left alone to navigate his life and pregnancy. 

"Goodbye, Ki. Thank you for everything. I hope you will have it in your heart to forgive me", Sunghoon says looking at him one last time before grabbing his suitcase and leaving through the door.

As he watches Sunghoon leaving their shared apartment his broken heart is aching from pain and frustration. The dinner on the table is long cold but its nothing compared to the coldness and emptiness that Riki feels. He slumps down on the cold floor and allows himself to cry for hours waiting that maybe Sunghoon will come back. His eyes are empty and the tears dried on his cheeks, everything hurts from his heart to his body, but he finds strength to get up. He moves on autopilot doing the routine he got so used to but one thing changed forever. As he stepped inside the bedroom and lay down on now cold bed the loneliness hit harder than he thought it would. Riki desperately clings to Sunghoon's pillow smelling the faint scent of his shampoo and just like that he falls asleep. 

Chapter Text

At first Riki was lost. He didn't know what to do as he woke up the next day alone in his quiet apartment. Sunghoon's departure yesterday left a deep wound in his heart and of course he is mad at him. How could he leave him like that? But at the same time he understood the reasoning it was valid. Their relationship was going through a rocky phase and if it meant to end this way maybe it was for the best. As Riki stood up from his bed and went to the bathroom he couldn't help but think that now he is not only responsible for himself but for the life growing inside him.  

One thing he was sure of is that he doesn't want to stay in this apartment and he has to ask his manager to allow him working from home. He takes a mental note to talk to his manager and to look for a new apartment for himself. Something simple but spacious. Maybe he should come back to his hometown? But he doesn't want his parents to know that he and Sunghoon are not together. They were against their relationship from the start so it would be a headache listening to his mother nagging that she was right all along. And his father would be even worse. He never approved of their relationship ever since he introduced Sunghoon to him. Just remembering that day when he proudly announced that he is dating the man of his dreams his father was furious. The only good thing is that he didn't hit Riki although he could. His mother took the news better but her disappointment was evident. 

He still feels guilty for their behaviour. Sunghoon never openly admitted he was upset about it but Riki knew by the way his facial expression changed and how he gripped his hand tighter. With Sunghoon's parents it was much easier and they were welcoming and supportive of their relationship. They teased and made fun of their son and Riki laughed so hard finding blushing Sunghoon adorable. Riki smiled remembering him but it was a sad scene. He really shouldn't reminiscing about his happy past. The weekend passed by without single thought of Sunghoon. Well who is he trying to fool? The only thoughts that kept hunting him was his lover departing and his baby growing inside him. 

He tried to distract himself from it by watching television or reading novel he liked, but none of it worked. He talked to his best friend and event went out actually enjoying seeing Jake who with just one smile could make him feel better. His friend never asked why he looked so gloomy and preferred to distract him from whatever was going in his head. Riki was thankful and grateful for that. Jake dropped him off at his house and Riki came back to the empty place going straight to shower and sleep. The long working week awaited him, plus appointment with doctor and the conversation with his manager is pending. 

Riki sighs heavily finishing his work day. Its Friday and he has to go to the clinic for the result of his blood test and for ultrasound. He had too much stress this week due to Sunghoon leaving and the pregnancy mood swings going like crazy. Not to mention his morning sickness hitting him like crazy, the smells are too much for his sensitive nose and he barely could eat something. He was lonely since Sunghoon left and missed him dearly but he knew it was for the best. Sunghoon loved him of course but the greatest love is to let someone you love go. Riki still didn't talk to his manager about moving out of town because he was unable to stay in apartment that reminded him of his boyfriend. 

Riki reached the clinic greeted the staff and went to doctor Sooyong. He had to wait for a few minutes before the woman invited him in. 

"Good evening, Mr. Nishimura. I have got the results of your blood test and we can confirm the pregnancy. You are 2 months in and i want to do ultrasound to see how is the baby developed. Could you tell me if there is something bothering you with your pregnancy?" she asks kindly typing something on her computer. 

Riki expected to hear that he is truly pregnant because he did two more tests at home and both came positive. He rubs his flat belly and sighs heavily. He was totally not ready for pregnancy. 

"Yes, i have heavy morning sickness and i can barely eat. Is there something i can do about it?" he asks wanting to find a solution to his problem.     

Doctor Sooyong nods understandingly. "It's quite common in the first trimester. We can prescribe you some medication to help with the nausea. But it's important to keep trying to eat small amounts of food frequently. You need to ensure you're getting enough nutrients for both you and the baby."

"Yes, i understand. Thank you", he nods, feeling mix of relief and dread. Riki knew he had to take care of himself, but the thought of consuming food was still nauseating. He tries to push the thought aside as the doctor leads him to the ultrasound room, the coldness of the gel on his stomach sending shivers down his spine.

The room is dimly lit, with a faint beeping noise in the background, setting a serene yet tense atmosphere. Riki lays down on the examination table, his heart racing as the doctor applies the gel and moves the transducer over his belly. The screen flickers to life, revealing a tiny, pulsing form. It's a surreal moment, seeing the life growing inside him. He bites his lip, his eyes welling up with tears.

Doctor Sooyong smiles at him gently. "It's a good sign. Everything seems to be developing well. The heartbeat is strong. We can't see the sex of the baby yet but when you will be on your fifth mount we can see it clearly."

Riki's gaze remains glued to the screen, his eyes wide with disbelief and wonder. He reaches out a trembling hand to touch the screen, as if trying to feel the life within. The doctor lets out a small chuckle. "It's okay, Mr. Nishimura."

He nods, his throat tightening as he watches the tiny figure dance around. It's all so overwhelming, the reality of it all crashing down on him like a tidal wave. Riki feels a sudden, fierce protectiveness towards this little being that he didn't even know existed just a few weeks ago.

Finally, the doctor finishes the examination and wipes the gel off his stomach. She prints out the ultrasound image, handing it to him with a warm smile. "Congratulations, Mr. Nishimura. You're going to be a great father."

Riki takes the photo, his hand shaking slightly. "Thank you, Doctor Sooyong." his voice is barely above a whisper as he gets dressed. 

Doctor Sooyong goes over the medication for the morning sickness and gives him a list of foods to try that might be easier on his stomach. They discuss prenatal care and schedule his next appointment.

He thanks the doctor and leaves the room, clutching the image tightly to his chest. As he walks down the corridor, he can't help but feel a strange mix of emotions. Fear, excitement, and a deep sense of responsibility wash over him. Now he has to work harder not only for himself but for the little life growing inside him. 

As he leaves the clinic he tries to imagine what it would be like telling Sunghoon the news, but even thinking about it makes him anxious and his heart ache with pain and need to be close to his ex boyfriend. Riki misses him more than ever now, wishing he was there to share this moment. But he won't say anything to him. Riki will keep it a secret but he promises himself to tell his baby who his father is. He is not going to hide the truth and there is no need. They broke up peacefully with no fighting or hurtful words said. The least he could do is to put Sunghoon's name in the birth certificate.  

The evening air is cool and fresh, a stark contrast to the stuffy clinic. Riki takes a deep breath and looks around. The city lights are just starting to come on, casting a warm glow over the bustling streets. He's always loved the energy of the city at night, but now, it feels alien and overwhelming. Riki's hand moves to his belly, feeling the slightest flutter. It's faint, almost imperceptible, but it's there. He smiles through his tears. Maybe this wasn't the plan he had in mind, but he's going to make it work. He takes another deep breath and heads home, ready to face whatever tomorrow brings.

Weekends come and Riki can finally rest a little bit. Morning sickness still heavily present but at least he can eat something other than drinking water. On the way home he bought medicine and vitamins that doctor Sooyong prescribed him, so he could start taking them. Today he decided to take it easy and start packing his stuff because he talked with landlord and told him he wont be renting this apartment anymore. The old woman was understanding and gave him enough time to pack things and move out. 

Riki completed his morning routine and went to the kitchen to prepare a light meal. Toast and tea would suffice. He ate in silence, staring at the empty space in front of him where Sunghoon used to sit. He swallowed the lump in his throat and put aside his toast. He still cried when going to sleep in an empty bed. The sheets and pillow still smell like Sunghoon, and Riki inhales the scent greedily every time he tries to fall asleep. It helps, but it is not enough. Riki felt tears welling up in his eyes as he sipped his tea. He refuses to cry because he has had enough of self-pity. He has to be strong for his baby and for himself. It's no use crying over something that already happened. 

After finishing his breakfast, he went to the bedroom and started cleaning. He took out his suitcase and neatly folded the clothes from his closet. He found a few pieces of clothing that belonged to Sunghoon, but he couldn't throw them away. He brought one of the shirts closer to his nose, inhaling the familiar scent of cedar and sandalwood. He hugged the shirt to his body before folding it and putting it away with his own clothes. Riki didn't want to wash his clothes in case the smell disappeared. He left a few pieces that he often wears, and the rest are in the suitcase. The photo albums were already in a box with photographs and other small items. Riki smiled as he put everything away and taped the box.

Next was bathroom he did the cleaning and left all the toiletry there because he still needed it. Each room was cleaned by Riki and now he is resting on the sofa with laptop on his lap.

Riki looks for jobs that allow him to work from home. As a designer, it is much easier for him, so he looks for a job with a decent salary and reasonable hours. He plans to save as much money as possible before taking care of his child. The thought of telling Sunghoon crosses his mind, but he decides not to. It was for the best. Sunghoon wants to pursue his career, and Riki respects his decision. Besides, with the help of his friends, he knows he can manage. Riki found a few jobs that caught his attention, then settled his laptop down and went to prepare dinner for himself. Saturday passed in the blink of an eye, and as he ate his tomato soup, he couldn't help but think that, as he got busier, time would move even faster.

The only thing left for him to do is to find the perfect house in his hometown. Riki sits comfortably on the sofa, scanning the pages of a website. There are plenty of houses for rent at reasonable prices, but nothing has caught his attention yet. He sighed, thinking that maybe he wouldn't be able to find his dream house until one finally appeared on the screen. Riki smiled as he clicked on the listing. The house has only one floor, but it looks cozy. It has a garden where he can plant things and build a playground for his baby. The inside of the house looks nice, too. It has one bedroom, a bathroom, and an open-plan kitchen. There is enough room in the bedroom for a crib and everything else a baby would need. Riki dials the phone number and talks with the owner. Twenty minutes later, he has secured his dream house at a reasonable price, and he smiles to himself, pleased with his accomplishment. As a reward, he ate some strawberries, washed the dishes, and took a shower before going to bed. He thought he would call Jake and the moving company tomorrow. There is still much to be done.

The next morning, Riki sat at the kitchen table holding a steaming cup of green tea. The sun had barely risen, casting a warm glow across the room. He was at peace with the decision he had made. It was time to call his friend Jake and ask for his help. Hopefully, Jake would be able to help him. Riki worked on the project they had to complete as a design team all morning, only interrupted by morning sickness. At twelve o'clock, he decided it was time to call Jake-hyung.

Riki dialed his number and waited for his friend to pick up the phone. 

"Hey, Ki! How are you?" Riki smiled when he heard Jake's cheerful voice on the other line.

"Hey, Jakey-hyung. I'm good. How about you?" Riki answered softly, but Jake's enthusiasm was infectious.

"I'm good, and I'm happy you called me! I was wondering how you were doing after..." Jake suddenly stopped talking.

"After what?" Riki's heart beat faster because he knew where this was leading.

"Your breakup with Sunghoon? He told us in the middle of the week. He dropped the news like a bomb!" Jake said with a hint of annoyance in his voice. "I'm still confused as to why he would do that. You both seemed happy, and then suddenly, you broke up." He sighs heavily, and Riki has to swallow the lump in his throat. 

"Hyung, it's fine, really. I'm okay, as okay as I can be after a breakup," Riki chuckled dryly. "I still love and miss him, but it was for the best. Now, we're moving on, but please don't hold a grudge against Sunghoon. He did what he had to, and we broke up peacefully." He explains calmly, surprising himself that there is no hint of bitterness in his voice. "But that wasn't the reason I called you."

"I hope you're okay, Ki. You know I and the others are always there for you. Whatever you need, just message or call us," Jake says meaningfully, and Riki knows he really means it. Jake is the most reliable hyung, along with Jay and Heeseung. "So, what do you need help with?"

Riki only says one thing: "I want to move out of this apartment."

"Alright, when do you plan to do it?"

"Next weekend. I have to talk to my manager and resign from my job. I plan to return to our hometown, but I want to ask you one thing," Riki pauses, waiting for Jake to respond. "You have to promise me."

"Okay, I promise. I won't say a thing to anyone," Jake swore, waiting for Riki to continue.

"Don't say anything to Sunghoon if he asks where I moved to. I don't want him to know," Riki said, biting down on his lower lip, feeling nerves creep up.

"Sure, Ki. I can do that." Jake agrees without hesitation. "Then I'll call you on Friday so we can decide what time I should come. I'll take Jay with me. I hope you don't mind," Jake says, chuckling. Riki immediately rolls his eyes.

"Sure, I don't mind. Thank you, Jake-hyung," Riki thanks him before ending the call.

"No problem, Ki," Jake responded before ending the call.

Well, one thing done, now back to work! For the rest of the day, Riki is busy working on designs that he has to present at the group meeting on Monday. However, he can't stop worrying about his growing baby and what will happen once he moves back to his hometown. He can't stay here, but he also doesn't want to go back because of his parents. He is aware that they will begin to claim that they were correct and that he should not have dated Sunghoon. Riki sighs, rubbing his hands over his face. He really has to prepare himself mentally for that conversation. If his parents behave like idiots, he won't let them see their grandchild.

As the clock strikes 9 p.m., Riki engages in a series of exercises to stretch his muscles and prepares a meal for himself. After eating, he takes a quick shower and gets into bed. He closes his eyes and hopes that tomorrow will be a good day.

The morning came earlier than Riki would have liked, but at least he had no morning sickness today. Apparently, the medicine is working, and he couldn't be happier. Riki did his morning routine, had a small breakfast, and left the apartment, hurrying to the bus stop. Today, he has to present his design and explain why he created it. It's not a big deal, but he's still a little worried.

When he arrives at the office, the usual buzz of colleagues fills his ears, a stark contrast to his quiet apartment. He takes a deep breath and makes his way to the conference room, where the team is waiting for him. He sets up his laptop and begins to go through his presentation, feeling a little nervous but mostly just eager to get it over with.

As Riki presents his design, his colleagues nod and murmur to each other, impressed by what he has done. They ask questions here and there, but it's clear they see the potential in his concept. The room feels more like a collaborative space than a battleground. He relaxes into the discussion, confidently sharing his vision for the project.

After the meeting wraps up, Riki's boss, Ms. Kim, pulls him aside. "You've done excellent work here, Riki," she says with a genuine smile. "I can see the passion and thought you've put into this."

"Thank you, Miss Kim. It means a lot to me that you see the potential in my design and i am glad working with my colleagues on it further", he bows his head politely before looking at the woman nervously. "There is something i want to talk with you about..."

"Of course, Riki. Lets go to my office", she nods and leaves to her office. Riki follows her behind. On the way he greets his colleagues with a polite smile and a small nod. He is going to miss working here but it has to be done for him and his baby. 

Once in Ms. Kim's office, the air feels heavier. She sits down behind her desk and gestures for him to take a seat. "What's that you wanted to talk about?" she asks, her tone still warm but with a hint of concern.

Riki takes a deep breath. "Miss Kim, a few weeks ago I found out that I am pregnant," he says, his eyes flicking to his still-flat belly. "I decided to come back to my hometown to get away from busy city life. I would like to ask if it's possible to work from home. I can come to the office once a month if needed. I wouldn't want to leave while we're working on such a big project."

Ms. Kim's smile fades slightly as she listens, but she quickly recovers. "Congratulations, Riki," she says sincerely. "A big change is coming your way. Let me think about the remote work arrangement. We've never had anyone do it before, but I understand your situation. We'll figure something out."

Riki nods gratefully, feeling a weight lift from his shoulders. He knows he has a good relationship with his boss and the team, but the uncertainty of their reaction was still nerve-wracking. As he walks back to his desk, a few of his colleagues congratulate him with successful presentation which makes him feel a little more at ease.

The rest of the week is a blur of emails and virtual meetings as he begins to wrap up his work and prepare for the move. He's incredibly grateful for the understanding and support he's received from Miss Kim and his team, which has made the transition easier. They work together to create a solid plan for his remote work, setting clear expectations and milestones. 

Over the weekend, the moving company, Jay, and Jake came to help him move and pack up his things. They worked together to load everything into a truck while Riki packed his things into his car. After one last look at the apartment where he had shared beautiful moments with the person he loved, Riki turned away and closed the door. The landlord, an old lady, thanked him as he handed her the keys to the apartment. Riki bowed politely, thanking her as well for being such a welcoming landlord.

Jay and Jake follow him to the car and hug him tightly.

"We'll miss you, Ki," Jay says as he hugs the younger one and pats his back. Riki smiles to himself, enjoying the warmth of Jay's embrace.

"Me too, hyung. But you should come visit me. It's only a two-hour ride from the city," Riki says, pulling away and smiling at Jay, who has tears in his eyes.

"We will definitely come," Jake adds, hugging Riki and ruffling his hair. "And we're just a call away."

Riki nods, feeling the warmth of their friendship and the pang of leaving them behind. "Thank you, guys. I couldn't have done this without you."

"It's no problem, really. Have a safe trip home, Riki. Call us if you need anything," say Jay and Jake, waving their hands as Riki enters the car and starts to drive away.

Riki is glad that everything worked out, and he is ready to start a new chapter in his life, fighting hard for his little one and himself. Riki made a promise to himself that he would move on and give his unborn child all the love he had left in him. He would try his best to be the best father to his child. And hopefully his baby will forgive him for not telling Sunghoon the truth.

Chapter Text

The drive to his hometown is filled with a mix of nostalgia and anxiety. He hasn't been back in years, and the last time was for his grandmother's funeral. He remembers the quiet streets, the familiar landmarks, and the old house he grew up in. He drives to the outskirt of the city where a small yet cozy house located. He rented it online and is happy with the first look at it. He parks his car and steps out of the car. The moving company will be there in a few minutes and Riki goes to the flower pot to get the key for the house.

The house is exactly as it was in the description, with a fresh coat of paint and a newly renovated kitchen. It's small, but it feels like a safe haven from the storm that awaits him back home. Riki begins unloading the car with the help of the movers. His heart races as he sets up the nursery, filling it with the soft pastel colors and the crib he picked out. He tries to imagine what Sunghoon would have said about the place, but the pain of his break up is still too raw.

After the movers leave, Riki sits in the quiet living room, surrounded by unpacked boxes. He calls his parents to let them know he's back to the home town. The silence on the other end of the line is deafening before his mother's voice cracks. "We'll be there in a few days. Your father needs to finish some work," she says, and he can hear the relief and excitement in her voice.

Riki walks around the house, making sure everything is in order. The living room, which is adjacent to the kitchen, is spacious and well-lit. It features white walls, high ceilings, windows that offer views of the courtyard, and a small garden. Riki makes a mental note that it would be a good place to grow fruit and vegetables. It would be worth going to the store to buy seeds and supplies. The mint-colored kitchen is easy on the eyes. Although it is small, there is enough space for one person. A wooden, round table is in the middle of the room. The living room has a cream-colored sofa and a TV. As Riki looks around the space, he imagines where to put things in the room: flower pots here and there, a coffee table, and cabinets. He walks down the hallway and reaches the bedroom and bathroom. He looks into the bathroom to check that everything is in place and working properly. He opens the door to the bedroom and smiles. The room is big enough to fit the furniture from his previous home. He plans to put a crib for the baby and a changing table by the bed. The room has a large window that lets in plenty of natural light. After looking around and feeling delighted, Riki starts unpacking boxes and organizing everything. After cleaning the new house, he goes to the store for gardening supplies only a few minutes away from his new place.

Riki notices a young man with a gentle smile, dimples, and warm, cat-like eyes in the store. He has straight blonde hair and is slightly shorter than Riki. His name tag reads "Jungwon." Seeing Riki's curiosity, Jungwon approaches him and offers help. "Are you looking for something?" Riki nods and tells him that he just moved back to the neighborhood from the city and is looking for gardening supplies.

Knowledgeable about plants, Jungwon suggests the best seeds and soil for the local climate. He also gives Riki some advice on how to take care of the plants. They chat for a while, and Riki finds him to be friendly and easy to talk to. As they continue shopping together, Riki learns that Jungwon lives just a few houses down from him.

"I've only just moved in, so I don't know who my neighbours are," Riki says, chuckling shyly as Jungwon helps him around the store walking him through various stalls.

"I moved here a few years ago. City life is draining, but here it's peaceful and quiet," says Jungwon as he hands him the small shovel and soil. "I wanted to ran away from hustle and bustle for a long time".

"I totally understand you. I grew up here, lived until I finished school, after which I moved to the city to study and planned to live there but life always makes their own adjustments", he chuckles before continuing. "And now i am back here".

"Oh, what made you move back here?" He smiled looking at the man who picked up some seeds.

"Personal reasons", is all Riki replied to him, probably not wanting to say anything about the reasons.

"What are you working as?" Jungwon asks, clearly curious and eager to continue the conversation.

Riki smiles at him before answering. "I'm a designer and I work for a company in the city. They were kind enough to let me work from home, for which I am grateful," he explains, his eyes shining. Judging by the expression on Riki's face, Jungwon thinks that he likes his job. They chat for a little while longer, and then, after paying, Riki leaves the store.

He comes home and puts everything he bought at the entrance before leaving again for the grocery store. He shouldn't lift heavy weights so he takes it easy. Riki decided not to go by car because the store is not far from his house. After buying necessary food supplies he returns back home. Looking at the gardening supplies he decided to go and plant the seeds today. The weather is nice and warm, some plants he can grow at home so approaching winter wont be an issue.

He begins planting the seeds in the kitchen, carefully following Jungwon's instructions. The soil is rich and dark, and the scent of earth fills the air as he digs his hands into it and putting it in the pot. He can almost taste the fresh tomatoes and basil he plans to use in homemade pasta sauce. The sun is setting, casting a warm glow in the room bathing it in golden color, and Riki feels a sense of accomplishment and belonging. As he finishes planting, he hears the knock on his door and after cleaning his hands he opens the door. There stood Jungwon holding a small potted plant.

"A little housewarming gift," Jungwon says, handing Riki a mint plant. "It's easy to take care of and smells great in the kitchen." 

Riki's heart swells with gratitude. "Thank you so much, Jungwon," he says as he takes the mint plant that he will place on the kitchen windowsill as soon as Jungwon leaves. "I'll make sure it thrives."

Jungwon nods and smiles. "If you need help or have questions, just let me know. I am a few steps away and happy to help." he says seeing the boxes still intact at the entrance. "I could help you unpack if you want".

"Ah... that wouldn't be too much of a bother for you?" Riki asks feeling embarrassed to asking someone for help.

"Not at all. I am happy to help someone as handsome as you", Jungwon flirts shamelessly and Riki almost chokes on his saliva.  

Riki nods, feeling a sense of camaraderie with his new neighbour. They exchange numbers and plan to have dinner together soon. As Jungwon walks away, Riki feels that his new life is off to a good start.

The next the day is a blur of unpacking, setting up, assembling furniture, washing curtains, and organizing the nursery with Jungwon's helping him.  Jungwon's mint plant sits proudly in the kitchen, a constant reminder of the kindness of his neighbor. Each time Riki passes by it, he is filled with a sense of comfort and purpose. The mint thrives in the warm, sunlit spot, and its vibrant green leaves seem to bring life to the room along with other plants and flowers Riki brought with himself from his previous home.

As the sky turned dark blue, Jungwon leaves saying goodbye to him with promise to write him once he is back home and Riki decided it was time to call it a day. Feeling tired, he decided to eat something light before going to bed. He received some messages from Jungwon while he was finishing dinner and answered them. He sat in comfortable silence, enjoying the heartwarming meal. A small smile appeared on his lips as he looked around the room, feeling satisfied with his work. Riki washed the dishes, showered, and then fell into a peaceful sleep, dreaming about his baby.

The next day, his parents arrived at lunch. Their expressions showed confusion and happiness. Riki sighed deeply and invited them into his home, where he would be staying for an unknown period of time. He dreaded the conversation with them, but it had to be done. Shaking off his nerves, he tried to smile and push the negative thoughts in his head aside. His parents didn't change much from the last time he video called them. His mother still preferred wearing expensive clothes and jeweler and his father as always greeted him with stoic expression and grimace on his face.  

"My dear Riki! I'm so happy to see you, son! We've missed you so much! You haven't come to visit us since your grandmother passed," she says, hugging him and smiling broadly. Riki nods reluctantly and hugs her back.

"It's good to see you, too, Mom," he says hesitantly, trying to hide his uneasiness with a smile. "You know i was busy with studying and afterwards building my career". It's true, but not entirely.

"Welcome back, son," his dad says, hugging and patting him on the back. Riki nods and gives him a tight-lipped smile in return. "Your mother and I are happy to see you here. But we do wonder why you came back so suddenly without saying anything. Don't get us wrong we are happy you are back but we haven't seen it coming".

"Let's go to the living room, and I'll explain why I'm back."

They settle down on the sofa and Riki takes a deep breath before finally saying why he came back.

"I know this is sudden, but I'm pregnant," he announces, seeing the shocked expressions on his parents' faces. His father frowns, and his mother's mouth opens almost comically. He would find it amusing, but the timing is inopportune. "Sunghoon is the father of the child, but we recently broke up, and he doesn't know about the pregnancy," he explains further, surprised by his own calmness. "And, before you say anything, it was a mutual decision." he licks his dry lips before saying the most important part. "I am planning to raise this child by myself but i wont hide from him who his father is".

"I told you dating that boy was an awful decision! You knew from what family he came from!" his mother shouts clearly satisfied that they broke up and her words were correct. "And now he even left you and you are pregnant with his child? I knew we should've done more to prevent you from being with him", she clicks her tongue and with her arms crossed over her chest clearly annoyed.

"Mom!" Riki tries to interfere but his father doesn't let him.

"You made a mistake trusting him and dating him. You knew we disapproved of your relationship, you went as far as ran away with him to the city! You didn't listen to us when we were warning you about him and now.... What do you want from us?" his father remains stoic angry with him, his disapproval clear as day.

Riki clenches his fist and grits his teeth being more and more angry with his parents. He knew it will be like this, expected it and still it feels awful hearing their words. Especially that they talk about Sunghoon that way.

"Stop! Just stop it!" he shouts at them standing up. "Enough. I wont let you badmouth me or the person i love in this house! If you don't want to support me than fine, but know one thing", he pauses before saying firmly, looking into their eyes. "You will never see your grandchild ever. Mark my words".

"Riki..."

"No. I am not asking for your approval. I've heard enough. I knew you would act like this but i thought you will at least accept the baby. The child is innocent..." Riki feels a knot in his stomach hearing the hatred towards his ex boyfriend and his unborn child.

"You can't have a baby from that man!" his father shouts also standing up and coming closer to Riki. "I won't let you dishonor our family name. Abort it before its too late", and thats the final nail in a coffin for Riki.

"Get out..." he says his voice is firm and controlled. "I said get the fuck out of my house", he takes his father by the wrist and pushes him to the front door.

"Riki..." his mother voice is gentle as she tries to reach out to him but Riki flinches away and looks at her with betrayal and hurt. 

"No, get out of this house and never come back again. Forget about having a son. I've made my decision, and I'm going to raise this baby with or without you," Riki says, his voice shaking. "But if you can't support me, then you don't need to be in my life. Or in theirs," he adds.

"You will regret your decision, Riki. We wont contact you anymore and forget that you are the son of this family." his father says expressing his anger, disappointment and disgust.

"You can leave now," Riki says, his voice steady despite the tremble in his body.

His mother's eyes fill with tears as she leaves the house guided by her husband. Riki watches them go, his heart heavy with anger and hurt. He knew it would be like this and yet his heart aches as the front door closes behind them. Riki allows himself to mindlessly go to the sofa and cry his heart out.

"I won't be swayed by my parents prejudices or their fear of what people might say. I've made my choice, and I'm happy with it." he says firmly to himself rubbing his still flat stomach. "This is what's best for me and my child".

Riki takes a deep breath, trying to calm his heart and breathing. He can't let their negativity affect his excitement for the baby growing inside of him. He has to stay strong for both of them.

In the following weeks, Riki settles into his new routine. He works from home, juggling conference calls with doctor's appointments and the occasional bout of morning sickness. The quiet solitude gave him time to relax and think about his future as a single father. He already decided that he wont hide from his daughter or son who his father is, although he doesn't know how to explain what happened until the child is old enough to understand. From time to time his thoughts drift to Sunghoon but he stops himself usually and focuses more on his work.

Riki carefully thinks of his plan for the future, he searches internet for recommendation of what books to read, watches videos during free time and even after consulting with doctor Sooyong he joins an online support group for single expectant fathers, eager to learn everything he can. Sometimes Riki caresses his still flat stomach and imagens how would it be to feel the first flutters of life within him. He has this determination to be the best parent he can be.

One evening he decided to message Jungwon and invite him to have dinner with him. Since his morning sickness passed with the help of medicine he can eat more than plain food and Riki wants to thank Jungwon for the help with assembling furniture and unboxing. Only after sending the message his brain suggested that maybe Jungwon is working today, but he can come after the shift so its okay. Its not like Riki needs to go early to bed.

After getting a positive reply Riki smiles to himself and starts making dinner. Today he craves curry and with that he will make a vegetable salad. While waiting for the curry to simmer, he checks his phone. Jungwon had texted to say that he was on his way and would bring dessert. Riki's heart skips a beat. He wipes his hands and quickly looks in the mirror. He looks a little bit tired but his smile is genuine. He doesn't want Jungwon to see him in a bad state and worry about him.

The doorbell rings and Riki's nerves spike. When he opens the door, he finds Jungwon holding a box of assorted pastries. The scent of sweet, sugary dough fills the air. "I hope you like these," says Jungwon, his smile a little forced.

"They're perfect," Riki responds, taking the box and trying to hide his excitement. This simple gesture feels like a warm embrace — a sign of friendship that Riki desperately needs. He leads Jungwon into the kitchen, where the aroma of curry wafts through the air. Jungwon's eyes widen in approval.

"I didn't know what you like but i was craving curry so..." Riki awkwardly looks at Jungwon who seems to be smiling to himself.

"Its perfect. Curry is my favorite dish", Jungwon turns to look at him and Riki blushes a little bit but a genuine smile touches his lips. He sets down the box with pastries for later and goes to turn off the stove. He serves a plate of curry for Jungwon and himself and they sit down to eat, the comforting silence of two friends enjoying a meal together.

Jungwon's eyes carefully scan Riki's living room filled with half-assembled baby furniture. "I know we are not that close and forgive me for asking but why do you have baby furniture?" he asks, a hint of curiosity and uncertainty in his voice.

"Oh... i know it might surprise you but i am pregnant so thats the reason why i have baby furniture and well," he says with a sigh. "This is basically the reason why i moved here in the first place", he takes a bite of the tender chicken in his curry, the spices exploding on his tongue. "But I've got a good job, a decent place to live. That's more than enough to get started".

Jungwon's expression shifts to shock and then quickly to one of genuine surprise. "Pregnant? But...how?" he stammers out, his hand hovering over his plate of curry.

"I am intersex",  Riki explains calmly, watching Jungwon's face closely for any sign of judgment or discomfort. "It's something that's not talked about much, but it's a part of me." he takes a deep breath and continues, "I chose to carry my child, even though it's not easy doing alone".

Jungwon's eyes wide with astonishment. "I had no idea," he says finally, setting his fork down. "But that's...amazing, Riki. You're going to be an amazing parent."

Riki feels a weight lift from his shoulders when he hears Jungwon's words. This is the first time that someone outside of the doctor's office has spoken so positively about his situation. "Thanks," he says, his voice cracking slightly. "It hasn't been easy, but I'm trying to stay optimistic."

They eat in comfortable silence, the occasional clink of their forks against their plates providing the only sound. Jungwon breaks the silence by asking, "So, what's the plan? You know, for the baby and everything?"

Riki swallows a mouthful of rice, his eyes misting up slightly. "I'm going to raise my child with love and support, no matter what," he says firmly. "But it's going to be tough doing it alone. I don't have much family here, and my parents..." He trails off, unwilling to relive the pain.

Jungwon nods, his expression earnest. "I'll be here for you, Riki. If you ever need anything, just let me know."

Riki's eyes widen in surprise. He hadn't expected such an offer from Jungwon, not after their awkward start. "Really?"

"Yeah, really," says Jungwon, his voice steady. "You're my neighbour and my friend, and I can't just stand by and watch you go through this alone. Besides, it's not every day that you get to be part of something so miraculous. And i know we only know each other for a few weeks but i really want to get to know you more. Be your friend."

Riki's heart swells with gratitude. It's been so long since he's felt the warmth of friendship, especially with someone who knows his secret. "Thank you," he says, his voice thick with emotion. "That means a lot to me."

The two of them spent the rest of the evening discussing Riki's pregnancy and the challenges that lay ahead. Jungwon listened intently, asking thoughtful questions and sharing stories about his own family. Riki could feel a stronger bond forming between them than before.

Chapter Text

Days turned into weeks, filled with Jungwon helping him buying and assembling everything. Riki tended to his plants which grew along with his belly. The mint plant flourished under his care, and the scent of it wafted through the kitchen whenever he cooked. Jungwon would often stop by to check on him and the progress of his pregnancy, bringing extra stuff that Riki would need. The bedroom slowly transformed into the space for Riki and the baby. They assembled the crib and changing table, bought some toys and baby clothes. Many people mistaken them for a couple and Jungwon would blush and stutter while Riki laughed it off. He appreciated the help but his heart belonged fully to Sunghoon.

Jungwon was handsome not denying that but Riki loved him like a dear friend although he felt that the older male might have feelings for him. He was thankful for help and support but there was no romantic feelings involved from his side. He really hoped he doesn't give Jungwon false hope. Jungwon was older than him just by a year and yet sometimes Riki felt like his hyung was more of a baby than him. Most of the days Riki spent working and taking good care of his health and baby that grows inside him. Jungwon would visit him almost every day after work or on weekends they'd sit and share meals, their conversations growing more personal as the months passed. They would sit in the garden admiring flowers that owner planted and talk about the future of Riki and the baby.

Month passed in a blink of an eye and Riki entered second trimester of his pregnancy. His belly started to be more noticeable and finally the morning sickness passed. His mood swings stabilized but the nausea has been replaced with weird cravings. The first time it happened was quite comical. Riki bought himself strawberries and wanted to eat them warm but there was no microwave in his house. He got sad and cried for what felt like eternity until he heard a knock on his front door and wiped his face, before going to the entrance.

Jungwon came to visit him bringing fresh vegetables from his garden and when he saw how Riki looked the smile on his face fell.

"What happened, Riki?" Jungwon panicked and the bag with vegetables fell to his feet. He quickly locked the door and attended to Riki, who has been sniffing loudly.

"Its just... its so weird i don't even know why i am crying", Riki tried to explain taking a deep breath. "I wanted to eat warm strawberries but i have no microwave in my house", he explains wiping away the tears falling from his eyes.

Jungwon was shocked at first and wanted to laugh at Riki but he held it back. A smile touched his lips and he suggested to microwave it for him and bring them back. Riki of course agreed and patiently waited for the older one to come back. It took five minutes and now the pregnant man was happily eating his strawberries. Jungwon smiled at him as he settled down next to Riki on the sofa in the living room.  

"I'm in my second trimester now," Riki said, rubbing his growing belly and eating the berry. "The nausea has mostly passed, but I'm feeling a bit more tired these days."

Jungwon nodded in understanding. "You're doing great," he encouraged, handing Riki a glass of cold water and napkins. They were sitting in the living room, which had been transformed into a cozy space with the addition of colorful pillows and a few strategically placed houseplants. The mint from Jungwon's gift had grown lush and fragrant, filling the room with a calming scent.

"Thank you, i do try my best and with your support it has been much more easier", Riki smiles at him his cheeks flushed with joy.

"I am happy to help you, Riki." he said and a framed picture caught his attention. On it was Riki next to a black haired guy smiling happily while holding hands. Could it be? "I wonder how you ended up here? In this town and pregnant? I mean going to be a single father? Something must've happened for you to come back here," Jungwon asked carefully wanting to know a little bit more after seeing that photo frame standing on one of the shelves. Riki must have been in a relationship before coming here so he wondered where was the father of the baby and if it was the guy on the photo. And if that guy is the father, why would he leave Riki alone?

Jungwon couldn't understand why someone would leave a person like Riki? He was kind, charismatic man with a pleasant personality. He is undeniably pretty and honestly Jungwon had a hard time not staring at him. Riki has been glowing this past weeks and Jungwon had it hard to not look at him. He kept stealing glances hoping that Riki wont notice him. But how could he not look? With how Riki would pout if he is concentrating or annoyed; how his eyes glowed when he was excited or happy; his soft features and small nose and not to mention those moles on his face. Jungwon really would love to be able to trace them and give small feather like kisses. But one thought dominated in his head - he wants to care and protect Riki. If that guy on the photo did something to Riki he would fight him.

Riki put down plate with strawberries on the coffee table and kept silent for a few minutes. Jungwon felt that he made him uncomfortable by asking something so personal and wanted to apologies but Riki beat him to it. 

"It's a long story one that i don't enjoy sharing much. But we have time and i trust you enough so i will explain everything to you", Riki turned to him giving him a small smile. It hurt to talk about his relationship with Sunghoon but he understands why Jungwon wants to know more. With a heavy sigh he begins to explain everything in order: how he met Sunghoon and they grew up together, how they started dating and left this town. And finally he reached the part where they broke up.

"So you never told him that he is going to be a father? That you are pregnant?" Jungwon asks puzzled and confused.

"Yes, i thought it would look like i was trying to hold him and make him stay with me", Riki answers calmly although the topic makes him uncomfortable. "You can judge me and my decision, but i think i did the right thing. I am not going to hide from my child who his father is and if he or she will want to meet him i wont oppose". 

"I see, i am no one to judge you or your decision, Riki. If i were you i would tell Sunghoon that he will be a father, but if you think its best not to do it, i support you", Jungwon says, stroking his chin thoughtfully.

"Thank you. It means a lot to me. I wont hide from my baby who their father is. I only hope i will be able to give my baby everything it needs", Riki says gently stroking his belly.

"You are going to be an amazing father, Riki. Trust me. I have seen how you take care of yourself and your body, giving your child everything it needs", Jungwon smiles at him and Riki breaths a sigh of relief. "And if you need me i am there."

He thinks that with Jungwon by his side offering his support he can manage. His parents turned their backs on him but he thinks he can raise his child without them. But can he do it without Sunghoon? What would he tell his baby once he or she start asking questions? Riki sighs rubbing his temples, its something he would decide later on. For now he will concentrate on his work and taking care of his baby.

On the fifth month he finally got the ultrasound appointment in the city and could know the sex of his baby. Riki felt excited to know and see how much his baby grew since last time. After his appointment he plans to talk with Jake and Jay. He wants to tell them about his pregnancy although he fears their reaction to it. Especially for his decision of not telling Sunghoon anything. Jungwon agrees to go with him as a moral support and he had some business pending at the city as well. They parted ways near the clinic where Riki would see doctor Sooyong once again. Most of the time he was video calling with her or doing necessary tests in the local clinic in his hometown. 

Doctor Sooyong supported him all the way and always was helpful and patient when he asked stupid questions. Well, stupid according to him. Riki as a first time father had a lot of fears about his baby. He read books and checked online forums but he couldn't help the growing feeling of anxiety. As he stepped inside the clinic and greeted the staff he moved on autopilot. He has been there several times and nothing changed so the route was familiar to him. He sat on the sofa waiting to be called. Today he would know the gender of his baby and he was both anxious and excited. Riki bit the inside of his cheek the doubts of if his baby was healthy and well developed came back. He put a hand on his round belly and caressed it trying to calm himself and the child. 

"Mr. Nishimura please come in", he heard doctor's voice and hurriedly walked inside the office. Doctor Sooyong welcomed him with a warm smile and lead him to the stretcher. "Please lay down and pull up your sweater so i could check your baby", she kindly instructs him and Riki does just that. "This ultrasound is gonna help us determine the sex of your baby and we will check the development". 

He lays down on the stretcher feeling the cold material underneath and he grimaces from the feeling. Riki pulls up his beige sweater exposing his round stomach and doctor Sooyong smiles at him. 

"The gel is gonna be a little bit cold", she says before applying some amount and rubbing it on his stomach. 

The room falls silent as the cool gel spreads across his skin, sending a slight shiver down his spine. He watches her face intently, looking for any signs of concern or excitement, but it remains calm and professional. She picks up the ultrasound wand and presses it gently against his abdomen, moving it in slow, methodical circles.

On the screen, the black and white image flickers to life, a grainy dance of shadows and light. The doctor's eyes dart back and forth, focusing on the monitor as she searches for the right angle. Riki feels his heart racing in anticipation, his eyes glued to the screen. The baby's heartbeat fills the room, a steady rhythm that seems to sync with his own racing pulse. It's a sound that brings him both relief and joy, a reminder that life is growing inside of him.

Doctor Sooyong's expression sharpens as she finds what she's looking for. She points at the screen with a gentle touch of her finger. "Here we are," she says, a hint of excitement seeping into her voice. "It's a boy!"

Riki's eyes widen, and a mix of emotions floods through him: surprise, joy, and a touch of fear. A boy. He'd never imagined this moment would come. He waited for it and dreaded it and now he knows he is waiting for a boy. He feels his eyes teared up and drops of tears falling down his cheeks. He is wiping them using the back of his hand but he is smiling from ear to ear. Riki is so happy. 

"Congratulation Mr. Nishimura you are expecting a boy!" she smiles at him before looking back at the screen. "He is a healthy baby, developed well according to his gestation age you don't have to worry", she removes the ultrasound wand and wipes his stomach gently with the paper towel. "You can get up and i will be waiting for you at my table". 

Riki nods and gently wipes the remaining gel off his stomach before pulling his sweater back down. With a big smile on his face, he rubs his stomach, feeling happy and delighted with the news that he is expecting a boy. He hopes that his son will look more like the love of his life, who is undoubtedly handsome.

"Your dad loves you baby", he whispers before getting up from the stretcher and going to doctor Sooyong to hear more. 

"Mr. Nishimura your baby's heart rate is strong, and everything seems to be progressing nicely," Dr. Sooyong says, scrolling through the ultrasound images. "You're about six months along now, so we're halfway there. Make sure to keep up with your prenatal appointments and follow all the advice I've given you."

Riki nods, trying to absorb the information. The reality of it all is setting in. He's going to be a father. To a son. He thinks back to the day he found out he was pregnant. The shock, the fear, the doubt. It had taken a while to get used to the idea, but now, with a clear image of his baby boy in front of him, it feels more real than ever.

"Thank you, Doctor," Riki says, his voice thick with emotion. "I'll do everything I can for him."

Dr. Sooyong nods with a warm smile. "That's all any child can ask for. Now, let's talk about what you can expect in the coming months. Your body will continue to change, and you may face some new challenges, but I'm here to guide you through it all."

Eager to hear what lies ahead, Riki sits down. The doctor explains the stages of pregnancy, how the baby grows, and the changes to his body. She discusses nutrition, exercise, and the importance of rest. As she speaks, Riki feels a growing sense of responsibility and a fierce determination to be the best parent he can be.

A sudden call on Riki's phone pauses their conversation. Riki apologizes and checks his phone, seeing that it's Jungwon calling. He declines, and Doctor Sooyong tells him he can leave because they've discussed everything necessary. As soon as he steps out of the office, he calls Jungwon back, feeling anxious and excited to share the news.

Riki walks down the stairs to the main hall and explains, "Hello, sorry I couldn't answer; I was still talking with the doctor."

"No problem, Riki. I'll meet you at the entrance," Jungwon tells him. Riki can see his car in the distance.

"Okay, I'll be there soon," Riki says before ending the call. He hurriedly puts on his warm coat and a scarf. It's already cold out, and he doesn't want to catch a cold because it could endanger the fetus.

Riki gets in the car, and Jungwon smiles at him before starting to drive. They sit in comfortable silence for a while, the only sound being the soft melodies playing on the radio. Riki hums along to the music and looks out the window at the passing scenery. He misses the city, but he prefers staying in the countryside. He rubs his stomach, feeling a little hungry.

Jungwon notices it and finally breaks the silence. "Do you want to eat something?"

Riki stops his hand halfway and turns to look at the man who is driving the car. "Do you want to?"

Jungwon chuckled and looked at him as they stopped at a red light. "I asked you first."

Riki smiles and rolls his eyes at him. "Indeed, I feel as if I could devour an elephant," he says, laughing. Jungwon also nods his head in agreement, his laughter resonating in tandem with his companion's.

"Then I know a great place where you can find healthy food for your baby," he says, smiling and placing his hand on his belly. Riki doesn't object, even though it's new to him. He watches as Jungwon's hand moves to rub his belly, and he feels a warmth in his heart. He is so grateful to have a friend like Jungwon.

A half-hour later, they find themselves seated in a café, having ordered their meal. Riki had never been there, so he had no choice but to trust Jungwon's judgment. And it paid off. Riki consumed the meal with relish, savoring every bite and grinning contentedly. Jungwon teased him for his messy eating habits. He took the napkin and wiped his plush lips clean of the remains of sauce. Riki was a blushing mess, but he laughed it off. They ate. Then they continued on their journey home. Some time after that, Jungwon dropped Riki off at his house, and they said "see you later" to one another.

Riki dialed Jake's number to bring him the news but he was nervous on how will he react. Jake is a sweetheart so he won't react badly but he might as well because Riki hid the fact of being pregnant from his ex boyfriend. As he was mentally debating with himself Jake picked up the phone and his cheerful voice broke the line. "Riki! My baby, hello and how are you?"

Riki smiled and tried to hide nervousness in his voice. "Hello, hyung. I have been doing good and you? What were you up to this days?"

Jake chuckled, "Just the usual, working hard, bickering with Jay and missing you like crazy. City hasn't been the same since you left after you know what. Did you call to tell me about your day?"

Riki took a deep breath, bracing himself for the moment of truth. "Hyung, there's something I need to tell you. It's... well, it's about Sunghoon and me."

Jake's tone changed instantly, his cheerfulness replaced with concern. "Is everything okay? You broke up a while ago, so what could happen? Did he call you or something?"

Riki swallowed hard before speaking. "I'm pregnant, hyung." There he finally said it, he dropped the bomb. 

For a moment, there was only static on the line. Jake's voice, when it returned, was low and measured. "Pregnant?"

Riki nodded, even though Jake couldn't see him. "Yes, with Sunghoon's baby."

Jake processed the information, his mind racing. "Does he know?"

Riki paused, his heart pounding in his chest. "No, i don't think i will tell him about the baby. You know i don't want him to think i try to make him come back to me or make him stay".

Jake remained silent for a few seconds, before speaking calmly. "Riki, you need to tell him. It's his responsibility too."

"But hyung-"

Jake's voice was firm yet gentle. "Riki, it's not just about you anymore. You're carrying a part of him. He deserves to know and to have a say in what happens next."

Riki felt a lump form in his throat as he tried to hold back his tears. "What if he doesn't want it, hyung? What if he thinks it's just a mistake?"

Jake sighed heavily. "Riki, you can't live your life based on what-ifs. You have to be honest with him. And if he doesn't step up, then you're not alone. You have me, Jay and Heeseung, and we'll figure it out together."

Riki took a deep breath, feeling slightly relieved by Jake's words of support. "Okay, hyung. I'll think about it." He knew that keeping this a secret was only going to make things worse. "Good night".

"Good night, Riki. And know i will support your decision even if i don't like it".

"Thank you, huyng".

"Take care, baby".

After tiring conversation and a long and eventful day, Riki went to shower and then, feeling a weight on his shoulders lifting but the looming presence of his secret bothered him. He laid in bed embracing the warm comfort of his sheets. He slept peacefully, dreaming of his baby, growing inside his belly.

The next day Jungwon came to visit bringing Riki's favorite strawberries. They stayed inside due to the increasingly cold weather in a comfort and warmth of Riki's house. Jungwon washed the strawberries and brought them to now sitting on the sofa Riki with a blanket wrapped around his lower part. 

"Here you go, Ki. A sweet treat for you", he smiles and puts the plate down sitting beside Riki who put on a movie for them. 

"Thank you, Wonie", Riki thanks him and puts one berry inside his mouth and moans at the sweet taste. As he chewed one down he remember that he never told Jungwon who he is expecting. "Oh... Jungwon yesterday i finally get to know who i am expecting", he smiles mischievously and Jungwon raises an eyebrow at him. "Who do you think its gonna be? Boy or a girl?"

Jungwon looks at Riki's hand resting protectively over the bump. "It's a boy," Jungwon say with a knowing smile, and Riki is surprised he guessed it first try.   

"You are right!" he smiles and pauses feeling his baby kick for the first time. 

Jungwon panics seeing the confused expression on Riki's face but the latter took his hand and placed it on his belly. And they both watched in amazement as the baby moved beneath the surface. "Wow," Jungwon whispered, his eyes wide with wonder. "It's like he's saying hello." Riki couldn't hold back his smile, feeling a mix of excitement and nerves about the life growing inside him.

"Have you thought about the name?" Jungwon asked and Riki nodded his head. He already had a name in mind but he was eager to hear what Jungwon would suggest. 

Jungwon suggested a few traditional Korean names, but Riki was leaning towards something more unique.

"What do you think about the name 'Solon'?" Riki asked him and Jungwon leaned back, stroking his chin thoughtfully. 

"It's unique," he said after a moment. "But what does it mean?"

"It's an old Greek name," Riki explained. "It means 'the wise one'. I like the idea of my son having a strong, independent spirit."

Jungwon nodded in approval. "It suits him," he said, placing a reassuring hand on Riki's shoulder. "Solon. It has a nice ring to it."

Riki beamed with pride, feeling as if a weight had been lifted. "Thank you, Jungwon. Your opinion means a lot to me."

The following months passed quickly as Riki's belly grew larger. Jungwon was a constant presence, offering support and companionship. His energy levels began to rise again, and he started to feel more like his old self. 

The third trimester brought with it a new set of challenges. Riki's body was changing rapidly, and the physical demands of the pregnancy began to take their toll. He was often tired and uncomfortable, but Jungwon was always there to lend a hand. He'd help Riki move the heavier items around the house, and even took over the more strenuous gardening tasks. Their friendship had evolved into something much deeper, and Riki felt incredibly lucky to have Jungwon by his side.

One day as Riki woke up he felt uncomfortable. His stomach kept on feeling funny, he couldn't sleep well and his back was killing him. Riki felt contractions but he had false one for a week before so he didn't think of it as a starting labor. But when later on during the day while sitting on the sofa he felt a slow tickle of something wet and warm down his legs he panicked. He thought he peed himself and was really embarrassed because he urinated more often this days. But seeing the wet fabric of his pants Riki really thought that something was wrong so he called Jungwon and asked him to help him get to the hospital. 

It seemed like one minute passed and Jungwon was knocking on his door. Luckily Riki changed his pants and grabbed his bag for the hospital with necessary items. He opened the door his face twisting in pain and Jungwon seemingly calm helped him to carry the bag and get in the car. Riki tried to breath in and out but the pain was getting harder to bare and the contractions seem to be stronger and longer. Jungwon whispered him sweet nothings as he drove through the streets to the hospital. 

The car ride was a blur of traffic lights and honking horns. Riki could only focus on the pain, squeezing Jungwon's hand with every contraction that hit him. Jungwon's calmness was a rock in the storm, his voice a soothing melody that kept him from losing it completely. When they arrived at the hospital, Jungwon practically carried him inside, ignoring the stares of the people passing by. The receptionist looked up, surprised at the sight of a man in pain, but quickly composed herself and called for a wheelchair.

As they rushed through the hospital corridors, the sterile smell made Riki's heart raced in his chest. He had read about childbirth during his preparation time, but nothing could have prepared him for this. The pain was like nothing he had ever experienced. Jungwon held onto him tightly, his eyes never leaving Riki's, offering silent encouragement. They reached the maternity ward, and Jungwon helped him into the wheelchair. The nurse took over, whisking Riki away to an exam room. Jungwon was left outside, pacing the floor, his heart racing with a mix of fear and excitement.

Inside, the nurse checked Riki's vitals and confirmed that his water had indeed broken. "You're in active labor," she said with a smile. "Your baby is coming soon." 

Riki nodded, trying to keep the panic at bay. The nurse called for the doctor, and soon the room was bustling with medical staff. They prepped him for the delivery, explaining each step in a calm, soothing manner that made him feel slightly less overwhelmed. Riki's mind raced with thoughts of his unborn child, of what the future would hold, of how his life was about to change forever.

Jungwon waited outside, his stomach in knots. He had been with Riki through the pregnancy and helped him with everything he could. He admired Riki's decision of keeping the baby even if he had to raise him alone. He felt like he was going to burst with love and anxiety. When the doctor finally came out, Jungwon rushed over, his eyes searching for answers. 

"Riki's doing well," the doctor assured him. "But the baby's in a bit of a hurry. We're going to have to get him into the delivery room." Jungwon nodded, trying to keep his composure as the doctor led him to the room where Riki lay, panting and sweating, his face contorted with effort.

The delivery room was brightly lit, with machines beeping rhythmically. Riki looked over at Jungwon, his eyes wide with fear, but Jungwon just squeezed his hand and whispered, "You've got this." 

The doctor and nurses moved efficiently around them, setting up the necessary equipment. Jungwon took a deep breath and focused on Riki, trying to be the source of strength he knew Riki needed. He remembered all the breathing exercises they had practiced together and began to count out loud, helping him to focus on the rhythm rather than the pain.

The contractions grew stronger, and Jungwon watched as Riki's body tensed with each one. He could see the exhaustion etched on his face, the sheen of sweat that covered him. Yet, there was something else too - a fierce determination that made Jungwon's heart swell with pride. Riki was fighting for his child, pushing through the pain with every ounce of his being. The room grew tense, the air thick with anticipation. Jungwon felt like he was on the edge of a cliff, about to watch the most incredible moment of creation.

The doctor, a woman with a kind and warm smile checked Riki's progress and reassured him. "You're doing great," she said, her voice firm and encouraging. "Just a few more pushes, and you'll meet your baby." 

Time seemed to stretch out, every second feeling like an eternity. The pain was intense, but Riki could feel the baby moving down, closer and closer. He could do this. He had to do this. The doctor's voice grew more urgent, "Almost there, Riki. Give me one more big push." Riki's muscles screamed in protest, but he gathered all his strength and pushed again.

And then, amidst the cacophony of beeping machines and medical commands, there was a sound that made Riki's heart skip a beat - the unmistakable cry of a newborn. The doctor held up a squalling, red-faced baby boy, and the room seemed to fill with a warm light. Riki's eyes snapped open, and a look of pure wonder and relief washed over his face.

"My... my baby", he cried with relief and happiness. Seeing his child for the first time was something he could never express with words. The emotions he felt that moment. He had brought a new life to this world. The doctor placed the baby on Riki's chest, and the moment their skin touched, a bond formed that was stronger than any pain or fear that had come before. Riki's trembling hands cradled his son, and Jungwon felt his own eyes well up with tears.

The baby's cries grew softer, his tiny body rising and falling with each breath he took. Riki looked up at Jungwon, his eyes brimming with unshed tears. Jungwon leaned in, kissing him gently on the forehead. "You're amazing," he whispered. Riki managed a weak smile, exhaustion and happiness warring on his face. The baby's tiny fingers curled around Jungwon's thumb as he reached out to touch him, and Jungwon felt a surge of love so strong it was almost tangible.

"Welcome to the world, Solon", Riki whispered kissing his babies forehead feeling love so strong towards his child that he felt like his chest would burst. Riki's heart melted completely after seeing his baby. 

The nurses took the baby to carefully check his vitals and clean him up. They weighed him and measured his length before swaddling him in a soft blanket. Riki's heart swell with love and joy as he watched them work. Finally they turned to him and gave him his son. He took him carefully, feeling the warm weight of their child in his arms for the first time. The baby looked up at him with a squint, as if trying to focus on his new surroundings. 

"My baby, my beautiful baby", Riki whispered crying again. Solon looked like a copy of Sunghoon and he couldn't feel happier. He created something with the person he loved and that person left such a beautiful and magnificent gift to him. "I love you, Solon", he kissed his baby head. Jungwon stood there by his side his eyes welled up with tears of joy and happiness. Riki reached out to touch the baby's cheek, his hand shaking slightly.

Jungwon looked down at Riki's son, then at Riki, and back again. "He's perfect," he said, his voice cracking with emotion. Riki nodded, unable to speak as tears of happiness slid down his cheeks.

Chapter Text

He was discharged from hospital a week later after birth. Jungwon came to pick him up with baby Solon which Riki was thankful for. Jungwon really was such a great help for him both during and after his pregnancy. He often came to visit them at the hospital although Riki told him its not necessary because there was nurses who took care of him. He recovered after birth rather quickly and nurses taught him how to make infant formula so he could feed his baby. There he learnt how to change diapers, wash his child and many more things that are important. 

The first few days at home with Solon were a whirlwind of emotions for Riki. He felt overwhelmed and scared at times, but mostly he felt an immense love that filled every corner of their small apartment. Jungwon had helped set up the nursery before the baby arrived, and now it was a warm, cozy space where they could bond. The little noises Solon made, the way he smelled, the feel of his soft skin – it was all so new and precious to Riki. He was doing his best to be a good father, even though he was learning everything on his own.

Jungwon was a constant support and present in his life.  He would stay overnight, helping with midnight feedings and diaper changes, allowing Riki to catch some much-needed rest. Riki was grateful for his friend's dedication, and they grew closer than ever. But Riki would often refuse his help because he knew Jungwon needed his own rest and he cant dedicate all his free time to him and Solon. Jungwon is still young and Riki thinks he need to find a partner and not focus all his attention on him. He is grateful for the help but he really thinks the older male needs to focus more on himself. 

Riki had to navigate the challenges of being a single parent while juggling work and baby duties. He started working again after few months of being alone with his baby and resting from delivery, but it was a tough adjustment. He had to prepare formula each time Solon would wake up crying from hunger and attend to him whenever he would start crying. It was such a hard take because most of the times he didn't even know what bothered his baby. He spent nights sleepless because he was so worried about his baby who would sleep a little and wake up crying again. But every time he felt like giving up, he would look into Solon's eyes and find the strength to push through. Those little moments of connection between them were worth more than any amount of sleep he missed out on. 

He usually worked from their bedroom except when he had to do meetings than he left the room and went to living room so he could easily talk without disturbing Solon's sleep. Those months were the hardest to adjust but once he got the hang of it he could find time to rest in between working and taking care of Solon. Thankfully his manager was understanding woman and she let a lot of things slide. 

Solon grew quickly, and with each passing day, Riki felt more and more connected to him. He watched him discover the world around him, his tiny hands reaching for toys and his mouth forming the beginnings of a smile. Riki felt a fierce protectiveness that surprised him. He had always known he wanted to be a father, but experiencing it was something entirely different.

One day he had a lot of work to do so he kindly asked Jungwon to help him and since it was weekends Jungwon agreed easily. He loved spending time with Solon and they shared a special bond. He was like a second father for him. As the meetings ended it was already evening when he came back to the apartment finding Jungwon playing with Solon on the floor. Riki smiled seeing his baby and went to hug him. 

"Thanks for everything, Jungwon," he said, sinking into the couch. 

Jungwon waved it off. "It's nothing, really. I love spending time with him."

"How was he today?" he asked kissing Solon's cheeks and ruffling his black hair. His big eyes stared at him and he smiled squealing happily. Riki felt like his heart would burst from so much love towards his child. 

"He was good. We played and i fed him a few times, than he napped and we took a bath as well, i was planning to put him to sleep", Jungwon said gathering the toys scattered around living room. 

"Ahh, who is a good baby?" Riki cooed and kissed Solon once again making baby happily giggle. "You are, yes", he hugged him closer standing up from the sofa. "Thank you for everything Jungwon, i will put him to sleep and than we can have dinner together if you want", Riki suggested but Jungwon shook his head. 

"There is no need, Ki. You are tired from the work and i have some things to do in my house. So we will see each other another day", Jungwon said heading towards the main door. Riki nodded and bid him goodbye, closing the door and locking it. 

"Now lets go to sleep, shall we?" he said going towards the bedroom with Solon. 

Solon was already showing signs of being tired, his eyes half-closed and his little body growing heavy in Riki's arms. He laid him down in the crib, making sure to tuck the blanket around him securely. He sang a soft lullaby that his mother used to sing to him, watching as Solon's eyes grew heavier with each note. Soon, the baby was asleep, his chest rising and falling in a gentle rhythm that soothed Riki's nerves. He sat in the rocking chair next to the crib, just watching his son sleep. It was moments like these that made all the hardship worth it.

The quiet of the bedroom allowed Riki to reflect on his life. He had always dreamed of becoming a parent, and now that it had become a reality without Sunghoon by his side, it was bittersweet. He missed his partner deeply, but he knew that one day they will meet up. He will tell his son about Sunghoon and who he is, show him his photos and when he is old enough and want to meet him Riki will do it for him. His heart still harbor the love he had for Sunghoon and he will keep it there. He took a deep breath and whispered a promise to the sleeping child, "I will do my best to give you a good life, Solon."

As the weeks turned into months, Riki and Solon formed a strong bond that grew deeper each day. The baby's laughter was the sweetest sound he had ever heard, and he found joy in the simplest of moments – watching Solon discover his toes or learning to grasp onto his finger. The challenges of being a single parent were numerous, but Riki faced them head-on, determined to provide a loving and stable home for his son.

Jungwon remained a steadfast presence, offering support and companionship without overstepping. He had become an uncle figure to Solon, playing with him, taking him for walks, and even babysitting when Riki had to work late. Despite the occasional sadness that washed over him when he thought of Sunghoon, Riki felt incredibly fortunate to have Jungwon in his life.

In a blink of an eye Solon turned one and they threw a small party to celebrate his birthday. Riki invited Jake, Jay and Heeseung and of course Jungwon came and helped him organised everything. They decorated the kitchen with a few balloons and flowers and Riki baked a cake for his baby and with the help of Jungwon they made tasty and enjoyable food. The doorbell rang and Riki hurried to meet his friends who brought him flowers and gift for his little one. He was so happy to see his friends come to visit after such a long time not seeing them. 

"Ki! I missed you so much", Heeseung hugs him as he lets all of his friends inside small house. "Look at you! You are glowing", he compliments Riki who laughs shyly and accepts the bouquet of flowers. 

"I am happy to see you too, hyung. Sorry that i disappeared all of a sudden without saying much about my whereabouts", Riki apologies and Heeseung shakes his head and gives him another hug. 

"Its okay my dear, you know we support you always no matter what", he says before taking off his coat and going towards living room. 

Jay and Jake hug Riki tightly and kiss his cheeks like he is a baby and Riki complains (of course) but secretly he is happy with love and attention he gets from them. He accepts the flowers and leads them into the living room decorated for his son's birthday. This is the first time they will meet both Solon and Jungwon.

"Guys, this is my friend Jungwon", Riki points at Jungwon as he puts the flower into the vase. "And Jungwon this is my friends Jay, Jake and Heeseung", he points at each and they all give a small nod.

"Its nice to meet you all, i am Yang Jungwon and as Riki said i am his friend and Solon's uncle", he smiles showing his adorable dimples and their hearts melt. Jungwon surely is adorable with his cat like eyes and dimple smile. 

"He is so adorable", Heeseung blurt out before blushing and scratching his neck while others laugh at him.

"Thank you", Jungwon gives him a shy smile and Heeseung smiles back still blushing. 

Riki smirks and giggles before Solon whines and he have to tend to his son. "You guys get to know each other i have to feed Solon and then we will come back to you".

While Riki is away the guys decide to get to know Jungwon better so they bombard him with questions. Jungwon seemed to be a little bit nervous but he answers their questions honestly. 

"So how did you and Riki met?" Jake asks as they sit down on the big sofa and the living room. 

"I work at the store and Riki came to buy seeds and some equipment for his garden and that's pretty much how we met", Jungwon answers honestly as he looks at Jake who nods his head and smiles at him. 

"Riki told us you have been helping him a lot, thank you for that Jungwon. We live a few hours away and cant always come to help him", Jay says gratefully.

"It's my pleasure. Riki is a great person and Solon is such an adorable baby, I'm happy to help them and be a part of his life", Jungwon replies with a warm smile.

Jake looks around the room, admiring the small touches that make the place feel homely. "This place looks great, Riki did a good job with the decorations i assume with your help?"

"Yeah he wasn't that far pregnant when we met but i helped him as much as i could", Jungwon nods. "We kept it simple, just like Riki wanted."

"Thank you for being there for him," Heeseung says seriously. Jungwon nods his head. "We've been friends with him for a long time, but Riki is the type of person who won't ask for help unless it's really needed. He's mostly reserved and prefers to take care of his own problems by himself," Heeseung explains, and Jungwon agrees.

"I wanted to help him because he seemed like a genuinely nice person. When I learned he was pregnant, I was surprised. But then I felt an even greater need to support him after seeing how lonely he was," says Jungwon, remembering the time he first met Riki and learned the truth.

The conversation flows easily as they discuss Riki's new life as a single father and Jungwon's involvement in it. They share laughs and stories, building a bond that transcends the initial awkwardness of meeting for the first time. The scent of the freshly baked cake fills the room, mixing with the aroma of the food Riki and Jungwon had prepared.

Solon's whimpers grew louder, and Riki reappears with the baby in his arms, looking for his bottle. Jungwon quickly jumps to his feet and grabs the bottle from the kitchen counter, gently warming it before handing it to Riki. The sight of Jungwon's attentiveness doesn't go unnoticed by Jake and Jay, who exchange glances filled with curiosity and approval.

Riki sits down in the rocking chair, cradling Solon and feeding him the bottle. The baby's eyes wander to the new faces in the room, looking at his fathers friends. It is his first time meeting them so he stares at them with great curiosity. 

"Thank you for coming all the way here, guys. I really appreciate it," Riki says, his eyes never leaving Solon's face.

"We just couldn't miss our little buddy's birthday," Jay replies with a wide grin. "Plus, we wanted to check on you and make sure you weren't turning into a hermit."

Jake laughs and adds, "And we wanted to make sure this little rascal is growing up to be as cool as his dad Sunghoon."

Riki smiled at him, although he felt a slight pain in his heart. The years passed, but his feelings for Sunghoon remained strong. Hearing his name didn't hurt as much as it used to, though. Besides, he wouldn't stay upset about his breakup with Sunghoon forever. He had accepted it, learned to appreciate what they had, and moved forward.

Heeseung, who had been quietly observing the exchange, speaks up, "We've all been worried about you, Riki ever since your break up with Sunghoon. It's not easy doing this alone. But seeing you here, with Jungwon by your side, it's clear you're doing great."

Jungwon blushes slightly at the praise, feeling a sense of belonging among Riki's friends. "Thank you, Heeseung. Riki is an amazing father, and it's been an honor to be a part of this little family."

The room falls into a comfortable silence as they all watch Riki rock Solon, the sound of the baby's content sucking echoing through the room. After a few minutes, Solon's eyes begin to droop, and Riki gently lays him down in his crib. He turns to his friends with a sigh of relief, "Alright, now that the little birthday boy is taken care of, let's get this party started!"

They all move into the kitchen, where the table is set with the food they've prepared. The vibrant colors of the dishes contrast with the simple white tablecloth, creating a festive atmosphere. The chatter picks up as everyone helps themselves to the delicious spread. Jungwon had made his signature kimchi fried rice, which was a hit among the friends, while Riki had baked a small, but perfectly decorated, cake for Solon.

Jake grabs a plate and starts piling it with food, his eyes gleaming. "Riki, this smells amazing," he says with a mouthful.

Riki laughs, "Thanks, but Jungwon did most of the cooking."

"Don't be so modest, you both did a fantastic job," Heeseung says as he serves himself a generous portion of rice.

Jungwon blushes, ducking his head shyly. "Thank you, Heeseung. It's nothing special, just something I enjoy doing."

"It smells and taste delicious, Jungwon. I love kimchi fried rice thank you", Heeseung says as he digs into the food and Jungwon is still blushing from the praise. 

As they eat and talk, the conversation naturally shifts towards Solon's birth. The trio of friends listen intently as Riki recounts the challenging yet beautiful journey of becoming a father. They share in his excitement and concerns, offering words of encouragement and admiration. Jungwon remains mostly silent, his eyes often drifting to Riki with a look of admiration and affection that doesn't go unnoticed by the others. They are happy Riki has someone by his side who is such a reliable friend to him and takes care of Solon as well. They cant imagine how hard it is for Riki to raise a child alone but at least he has someone to help him.

They all gave their gift to Solon mostly its toys, but Jay brought him a set of useful things that can help Riki out with his child. He was so grateful to have such amazing friends that he cried scaring them. But Riki laughed it off with them and thanked them for coming. The laughter subsides as Riki brings out the cake. The room is filled with the sweet scent of vanilla and the flicker of the candle's flame. Everyone gathers around the crib to sing "Happy Birthday" to the sleeping Solon. Riki's heart swells with joy, feeling the warmth of friendship and family around him. 

***

It felt like just yesterday Solon was a small baby that Riki held in his arms and now he is already going to the nursery. Riki feels like crying because his baby grew up too fast for his liking. He enrolled him in the kindergarten and now he is helping his baby who is four to dress up for the day. Thankfully the kindergarten is just a few blocks away from his house, today Jungwon has an early shift so he couldn't help him but Riki was fine with it. They walked together, Riki holding his son's small hand, his fingers wrapped tightly around Riki's. His eyes filled with pride and love as he looked down at Solon, his baby's curiosity for the world was contagious, and Riki can't help but smile at every question Solon asks.

The nursery is a bright and cheerful place, with colorful murals of animals and shapes adorning the walls. As they enter, the sound of children playing fills the air. Solon's eyes widen and he shies away from the noise hugging his father's legs as a safe place. Riki finds his reaction adorable and coos. 

"Its okay baby, don't be scared. You'll make many friends here", he says as he crouches down to his height. Solon looks at him with his big eyes like his father's and Riki feels a pang in his heart seeing so much of Sunghoon in him.

Solon nods shyly, and with a gentle nudge from Riki, he starts to loosen his grip and look around. A kind teacher with a warm smile spots them and approaches. She's Miss Kim, who had been introduced during the orientation. She's wearing a blue apron with yellow stars, the same color as the balloons from the party. 

"Good morning, Riki and Solon," she says, her voice as welcoming as the first rays of sunshine. "Ready for your first day of adventure?"

Riki nods, trying to mirror her enthusiasm. "As ready as we'll ever be." he looks back to his son and kisses his cheeks before saying goodbye to him. "I am going to work, baby. Have a good time and enjoy your first day, okay?" he asks and Solon nods.

"Yes, daddy." Riki smiles at him and kisses him again before standing up and miss Kim approaches him taking his hand and with a gentle tug she leads him towards the room where group of children is playing with building blocks.

Riki watches as Solon's eyes light up with curiosity, his fear gradually giving way to excitement. The teacher encourages him to join in, and soon he's giggling with the others, his shyness forgotten.

Riki feels a mix of emotions - pride at seeing his son take the first step towards independence, and a slight tug of sadness knowing he can't protect him from the world forever. He takes a deep breath and decides to let go, reminding himself that this is a part of growing up. He waves goodbye, and with a final reassuring smile, he leaves the nursery. His thoughts travel to Sunghoon as he walks back home and how would he react to his son first day at nursery. How he would support him and fill his face with kisses. Riki does miss his ex lover and Solon was asking about his father one day so he promised to tell him once he is a little bit older. 

His son is a very intelligent and smart boy so he didn't complain, although Riki showed him his father photos and told him about him. But his son is just four years old so there isn't much he can understand yet but Riki is sure he will one day. Days turned into weeks and soon enough Solon was looking forward to the nursery every morning. He had made friends and was learning so much. Riki felt a sense of relief and happiness watching Solon grow and thrive.

One evening, after work, Riki picked Solon up from the nursery. His son's face was a canvas of excitement, smudged with paint and glitter from an art project. "Guess what we did today, daddy!" Solon exclaimed as soon as he saw him.

"You tell me, baby," Riki said, bending down to match his son's height. Solon took a deep breath and began to recount his day with such enthusiasm that Riki couldn't help but be swept away by his tales of new friends and the games they played.

As they walked home, Solon's grip on Riki's hand grew tighter as he shared his latest discovery - the concept of sharing. "Miss Kim said it's important to share, daddy. Like when you give me your phone to watch videos," he said, looking up with bright eyes.

Riki chuckled. "Yes, exactly like that. It's good to share with friends, but remember to keep your toys safe too."

Solon nodded, his thoughts racing. "But what if someone takes my toy and doesn't give it back?"

Riki's heart melted at the innocence in his son's question. He knew that navigating the complexities of social interactions was tough, even for adults. "Well, Solon, sometimes people make mistakes. If that happens, you should tell Miss Kim or the friend that you'd like your toy back. They'll understand, and if they don't, then it's okay to stand up for yourself gently."

Solon's brows furrowed in thought. "But what if they're bigger than me?"

Riki ruffled his hair. "You don't have to be big to be strong, Solon. Sometimes, asking nicely is all it takes. And if that doesn't work, Miss Kim is there to help."

Solon considered this and then beamed. "Okay, daddy. I'll ask nicely."

The walk home was filled with more chatter about nursery and the friends Solon had made. Riki felt a warmth in his chest listening to his son's excitement. It had been a long day at work, but seeing Solon so happy made it all worthwhile.

***

As the years passed, Solon grew more curious about the man in the photos. When he turned six he had started to ask more questions about his father, Sunghoon. Riki knew he couldn't put it off forever, so one evening after dinner, he decided to sit Solon down and explain. He took a deep breath and began to tell the story of how he and Sunghoon had met, fell in love and started living together, eventually they broke up. He talked about Sunghoon's kindness, his love for animals and friends, and their shared dreams.

Solon listened intently, his eyes wide with wonder. "So, where is he now, daddy? Why he never came to visit us?" he asked when Riki had finished speaking.

"We broke up before you were born, Solon and since that time i never talked to him", Riki said gently, his voice laced with a hint of sadness. "I have never told him about you, my love. But that doesn't mean he won't love you. Even though we're not together, i want the best for you and i am sure he is as well. Especially after he will see you in person".

Solon looked thoughtful for a moment, then nodded. "But why you never told him about me, daddy?"

Riki knew this question will come one day. "I will explain it to you better once you are old enough, but know one thing it was never my intention to hurt you or leave you without a father. Believe me Sunghoon would be there from the day one if i told him about you, but the circumstances made me make this decision. I am not proud of it, but it was my choice", he explained calmly hoping his son will understand his decision.

"Okay, daddy, i understand. Although I wish i could meet him", he pouts and Riki's heart ached at the innocence in his son's voice.

"You can meet him my dear," he said, ruffling Solon's hair. "But remember one thing, you have a lot of people who love you. Your uncles Heeseung, Jay, Jake and Jungwon. We're a family of two, and that's pretty amazing too."

Solon nodded, a hint of understanding in his eyes. "I know, daddy. I love my uncles as well. But it's okay to want to meet him, right?"

Riki's eyes filled with warmth as he pulled Solon into a tight hug. "It's perfectly normal to want to meet your father. "It's okay to talk about him, so you don't have to worry. You can ask me any question you have."

Solon snuggled closer, feeling the comfort of his daddy's embrace. "Can we visit him, please?" he asked hopefully. "I really want to meet him".

Riki hesitated, unsure of what to say. He hadn't spoken to Sunghoon since before Solon was born, and the thought of reaching out after all this time was daunting. "I'll think about it, Solon. It's a big decision, but I'll see what I can do about it."

The days turned into months, and Solon continued to grow, his questions about his father becoming more frequent. Riki knew he couldn't put off the conversation forever. One day, after a particularly poignant question about Sunghoon, Riki decided it was time to find his ex-lover. He discussed it with Jungwon who supported him and helped him move back to the city. He called Jay and Jake who found him an apartment and he asked Heeseung about Sunghoon knowing that the two still talk.

Of course, his friends helped him with everything. He learned that Sunghoon was still working at the same company, but now lived in an elite part of the city. Riki never doubted that Sunghoon would have an amazing career, and he was happy for him. Yet, he feared the moment when he would meet Sunghoon again. What would he say? Especially since Riki hid Solon from him. Would he be angry? Or refuse to have anything to do with Riki? Riki knew that Sunghoon wouldn't abandon his son, but the news of his hidden pregnancy would surely hurt him. Riki was consumed by guilt as he walked through the park with Solon. It was the same park where he and Sunghoon used to stroll after school or on dates. Riki smiled to himself when he saw Solon run toward someone he couldn't see from there. Solon shouts, "Daddy!" Riki's heart stops beating for a second because he knows who the tall man in the dark coat is.

As he walked closer, he saw the man's shocked expression and his child's happy voice. He knew that in front of him was none other than Sunghoon.

Chapter Text

Things were not easy for Sunghoon after break up. A few weeks when their friends get to know that they separated they screamed at him in frustration. But they never stopped talking to him, no. They tried to understand his and Riki's perspective so no one was a villain in their break up story. The good thing is that none of their friends took someone’s side. They supported them both which Sunghoon was grateful for. He didn't want Riki to be completely alone and he made sure that Heeseung, Jake and Jay know he was at fault. Of course they scolded him and Jake was about to hit him in the face but thanks to Jay it didn't happen. 

Sunghoon thought he deserved it. The punch. Even he would punch himself for what he did but he really couldn't continue hurting Riki further. He saw how sad he became with each passing day and how hard he tried to bring that spark back to life. Sunghoon never gave up on their love but as his workload grew so the frustration with himself. But Sunghoon couldn't bear the pain anymore. It felt like someone was constantly stabbing him in the heart. And every night when he would go home, the silence was deafening He was trying to keep himself busy with work but it was hard. He tried watching movies, listening to music, even started cooking but nothing filled the void he left behind. He missed him so much. He missed his warmth, his smile and his voice. 

He wanted to be the best, to build his career so he can provide for Riki and afterwards they both would get beautiful kids. But the dream was shattered by the brutality of reality. Sunghoon couldn't handle the balance of his personal life and work. For this reason, he decided it would be best to break up with Riki despite the fact that he loved him with all his heart. What a fool he was. All he had to do was talk, voice his worries and thoughts to Riki who would certainly support him in everything. For a while he thought his decision was right and proper. Thus, he spared Riki from unnecessary suffering and was able to concentrate on his work and career, but reaching the heights in his chest loneliness grew more and more.

At first he was happy and concentrated on his career getting promoted rather quickly. Sunghoon was undeniably smart and professional in the financial feed. His boss and colleagues respected him and admired his dedication to what he does. But that was for first year afterwards the image of happiness shattered. He missed Riki increasingly more and more as months gone by. He wondered how he was doing and where he was. Sunghoon thought of asking their mutual friends but decided not to. He wanted to respect their mutual decision and do everything on his own. 

When he came home to an empty apartment, he wondered what he would have done differently that day. Riki had looked so happy that day, and he'd given him the terrible news. What was he going to tell him? That thought kept nagging him in the back of the mind. But he won’t know the answer unless he asks Riki about it which he can't anymore. With each passing year, he realized more and more how wrong his choices had been. A career couldn't replace the warmth of Riki's love, kisses and hugs. No money could buy him love and happiness that he has lost so foolishly. For the past year, Sunghoon had been trying to find Riki without much success.     

One evening as he was looking at the photo album he saw the one where they are all together during their school years smiling, with Riki hugging him tightly. His heart skipped a beat and clenched with pain, Riki looked so happy there glowing and Sunghoon felt his eyes stinging with unshed tears.  Sunghoon felt a stab of pain, realizing how much he missed the younger one and how the decision he made was wrong. He closed his eyes allowing himself to cry looking through the other photos: one where they confessed to each other taken by their friends, another where they went on their first date after confessing. So many memories flooded his mind and the feeling of regret stung him in the heart. 

"I am such a fool for letting you go", he whispered caressing the photo of smiling Riki. How he wanted to turn back time and never break up with Riki. "If only i had the courage to explain everything to you..." Sunghoon feels tears running down his cheeks and he does nothing to wipe them away. They fall in the photographs as he keeps turning pages of photo album. "I regret hurting you Riki and i promise to make things right".     

That day Sunghoon cried himself to sleep feeling loneliness and pain in his heart for letting something so important to him go. He could never forgive himself for that but he made one thing clear for him. He will try to find Riki and if he still has some feeling for him he will prove that he will never leave him again. But will Riki want to be with someone like him? Riki, who is such a forgiving and gentle person. He understood him so well and never complained even if he was giving him less and less time. Why Sunghoon decided the best thing was to break up? He shakes his head and wipes away the tears feeling anger at himself and hopelessness. He is indeed a fool for letting Riki go that easily. 

The next day at work, he couldn't focus. His mind was a whirlwind of memories and regret. He found himself staring at the photo on his desk, the one of Riki smiling up at him with love in his eyes. The office walls felt like they were closing in on him, and his chest tightened with every breath he took. He had to get out. He needed to clear his head and decide what to do next. Work was no longer the escaped that helped him avoid feeling regret and allowed him to forget what he had done. The memories haunted him not letting him rest that night and he felt even worse after waking up.

Sunghoon decided to visit their favorite spot, a quiet park bench where they used to sit and watch the sunset together. It had been years since he'd been there. As he walked, the cool evening air washed over him, bringing a mix of nostalgia and pain. The bench was still there, unchanged by the passing of time, as if it had been waiting for him. He sat down, feeling the cold metal against his back, and let his thoughts run wild. He thought of the first time he fell in love with the younger boy and how their friends supported him in confessing his feelings. How Riki would always support him and somehow make him feel like he can do anything. 

Sunghoon closed his eyes feeling them well up with tears at the memories and thoughts of Riki. Nothing could fill the void in his heart anymore. For a long moment, he just sat there, watching the leaves dance in the breeze. He was lost in his thoughts not knowing what to do next and where to start looking for Riki again. It’s like he disappeared and none of his friends wanted to tell him where to. Jay and Jake said they don't know and he gets it, maybe Riki asked them not to tell him anything because he thought it was for the best. Riki was like that he would think of Sunghoon's well-being first and then of himself. 

He took his phone out staring at the contact with Riki's name. He blocked him after break up and Sunghoon understood his decision. It was for the best. Riki wanted to move on and he wanted that as well at that time, but now he wants to reach out to him. What if he still stayed in the city? Could one of their mutual friends know something? The thought made his heart race. He didn't know if he was ready to face Riki yet, but the ache inside grew stronger with each passing moment. He decided to text Heeseung: "Hey. Could we meet up?" He hit send before he could talk himself out of it. 

His heart was beating loudly in his chest and his palms sweaty from nerves. He talked with Heeseung but never about Riki. He knows that hyung might not know anything about Riki's whereabouts but he still wants to try. He didn't expect an immediate answer from Heeseung but he got a text back. "Hey, Hoon. Sure, where do you want to meet up?" 

"At the cafe near the park where we all used to spend time after school. Need to talk with you". he pressed send and got up from the bench wrapping himself more in the black coat he was wearing. The cafe was only a few minutes away and Heeseung texted him that he will be there in 10 minutes. He came inside and ordered a coffee for himself and a tea for Heeseung before going to the farthest corner of the cafe. 

Sunghoon waited for what felt like an eternity, sipping on a lukewarm coffee. He was nervous, his palms sweaty, and his heart was racing. What was he going to say? He had no idea. He just knew he needed to talk to someone who knew Riki better than anyone else. Someone who could help him navigate through the mess he'd created. He really felt so lost. 

Heeseung finally walked in, looking surprised to see Sunghoon. "Hey, Hoon. You okay?" Heeseung asked, his eyes searching Sunghoon's face for any signs of trouble.

Sunghoon took a deep breath and nodded. "Hey, hyung. I need to talk about Riki," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

Heeseung's expression softened. "What about him?" He slid into the chair across from Sunghoon, his eyes filled with concern. Sunghoon silently gave him the cup of tea which he gladly accepted. 

"Heeseung, please tell me where Riki is living now", Sunghoon desperately asks holding the cup of coffee in his hands. It burns but the pain is nothing compared to the gaping hole in his heart ever since he has made the stupidest decision of parting ways with Riki. "I have been trying to find him for a few years now but... I don't know where to start anymore". 

Heeseung took a sip of his tea before speaking, "Why do you want to find him?" he asks, his tone calm but firm. He knew the pain his friend went through and didn't want to stir up bad memories unless it was absolutely necessary.

Sunghoon's grip on his coffee cup tightened. "I've realized how wrong I was, Heeseung. I can't live without him. I need to tell him how much I regret my decision and ask for his forgiveness," he said with a determination that was new and unfamiliar to him.

"Hoon, you know i love you and you are my best friend", Heeseung sighs running a hand through his black hair. "But i won’t tell you where Riki is because i don't know-"

"But you both are talking, and you talk with Jay and Jake... you are his most reliable hyung", Sunghoon looks up at him and Heeseung sees painful expression on his face the dark bags under his eyes and overall exhausted look. His eyes look slightly red like he cried a moment ago. Heeseung's heart clenches in his chest from seeing his friend in such state. 

"We do talk yes, but I can't tell you where he lives now because I simply don't know anymore. Besides, Hoon, you look really bad. Do you even sleep? What happened to you? I don’t think it’s wise to meet up with Riki when you are like this", Heeseung genuinely asks worried about his friend who was nothing like that just few years ago. "There is one thing I want to know. Why you decided to break up with Riki?" he asks but is met with silence.

Sunghoon bites his lower lip and shakes his head looking at the black coffee in his cup as if it's the most interesting thing in the world. Heeseung sighs and takes a sip of his green tea mentally preparing himself to work as a psychologist. Sunghoon stared into the black abyss of his coffee, contemplating his answer. 

"It was for the best… or so I thought" he said finally. "For his sake. I didn't want to hold him back with my issues. I thought focusing on work would be the solution to everything."

Heeseung leaned forward, placing a hand over Sunghoon's shaking ones. "Hoon, you know that's not what Riki wanted. He just wanted you to be happy, and he was happy when he was with you. You know Riki never told us why you two separated. I asked him but he always avoided answering directly and changed the topic but I saw how much it hurt him, Hoon", Heeseung says looking directly at his friend remembering how happy he looked when he was with Riki and how devastated he is now after six years. "It’s been six years, Sunghoon".

"It was all my fault, hyung. The stress from everything accumulated and we started spending less time with each other", Sunghoon sighs refusing to look up at Heeseung and see the disappointment on his face. "And the stupid me thought it was best to break up not even thinking how Riki might feel and what he thought of it. I selfishly followed my own wishes and told him that 'I don't see a future together' and that's it", he finally says what was so long buried deep in his heart. The guilt was eating him alive, regret of leaving Riki a person he loved so dearly. "That day he wanted to tell me something and after i suggested break up he never said what it was... Heeseung i regret it till this day that i said something like that".

"Hoon-"

"No, i don't deserve your sympathy towards me. What i did to Riki is something i will always feel ashamed of. I still see his face that day i told him everything when i close my eyes ", a single tear rolled down his cheek and he quickly wiped it away. "And i blame myself for acting that way. I wish i could turn back time and stay with him. First few years were easy but then everything changed and i understood what kind of mistake i made: now there was no one to hug me when i come home from work, to kiss me, no one to cook together or spend time with. No more 'i love you or have a good day at work'. Now i know what i want and it's Riki with me but only if he agrees to give me a chance", Sunghoon finally looks up at Heeseung seeing his hyung serious expression. "Only if he still has feelings for me". 

"Breath, Hoon. We all make mistakes and you two were still young at that time, but now you are more mature and you know what you did was wrong. I sincerely hope you can mend your relationship with Riki, but i really have no idea where he is. The only thing i know is that he moved out of town after your break up. Jake helped him with moving maybe he has an idea where Riki is living now".    

"I searched for him everywhere but it's like ground swallowed him", Sunghoon sighs heavily and closes his tired eyes, nodding to himself. He won’t stop looking for Riki and definitely will message or call Jake to see if he knows where Riki is. "I guess there is a possibility that he told others not to tell me anything".

"There could be. I met him after you guys broke up and he didn't look good. But it's understandable", Heeseung sighs remembering seeing Riki's tired face and huge dark circles under his eyes. "But i saw him later on and he was shining, smiling brightly. He looked well but i can't say if he moved on from you or not, Hoon. But i hope you will find him. I will let you know if i find out something about his whereabouts", Heeseung says trying to comfort his friend.

"Thanks, hyung," Sunghoon murmured, his voice filled with hope. "I'll talk to Jake or Jay and maybe they'll know something. I'm just... I'm desperate to see him again. To tell him I'm sorry. To tell him I love him," he added, his voice cracking.

Heeseung nodded solemnly. "I understand. Just remember, you can't change the past, but you can learn from it. If Riki is still out there waiting, you need to show him that you've changed, that you're ready to put in the effort."

"Thank you for the tea and for listening, Heeseung-hyung." Sunghoon took a deep breath and stood up after finishing his drink. They both leave the cafe and Sunghoon thanks his friend for accompanying him there and listening to his words once again. 

They bid goodbye to each other and go on their separate ways. Sunghoon decides to go home on foot wanting to clear his head and enjoy spring weather. He didn't want to cause Riki any more pain by forcing his way back into his life. He had to be patient and respectful, even if it killed him. Its sunny day and the sunlight caresses his skin and making it warmer. As Sunghoon goes through the park he stops enjoying the breeze and sunlight on his skin. He allows himself to relax and take a full breath enjoying tranquility of the moment. He hears kids playing in the distance as he starts moving forward his steps are slow and posture relax. In the distance he sees a child hiding behind a tree. Probably playing hide and seek with his parents. Sunghoon chuckles remembering how he played it with Riki when they were kids. Riki... 

He shakes his head trying to remove the thoughts of person who torments him daily. He was a fool to let Riki go and he knows it. Sunghoon gave a word to protect him and be there for him and what he did? Broke his word, his promise. As he was walking he didn’t see the boy running in his direction. The boy seems to notice him and started running towards Sunghoon making him confused and panic. 

"Daddy!" he hears a kid screaming and thinks that probably there is his dad behind him but oh boy was he wrong. 

The child ran towards him and Sunghoon panics not knowing what to do. Should he move away? It would be embarrassing if he catches him and the boy was just running to another person. So Sunghoon does the only logical thing he stays rooted to the place watching as the boy moves closer and closer to him until he crashes into him. 

"Daddy! I finally found you", he smiles at him and when Sunghoon looks down he is astonished. The boy looks exactly like him. A flesh and blood copy of himself. His mouth is agape and he tries to say something. He is like a dying fish threw on the shore whose mouth opens and closes. But all words die when he hears another voice.

"Solon! Where are you?" he hears a familiar voice calling the child. And his whole body shook from the shock he experienced. The child continues to talk but Sunghoon can’t hear him he is still shocked hearing the voice he loved so much. 

And he knows who this voice belongs to. He would recognize it anywhere. A voice he could never forget. And then he sees him. His heart beating fast and he tears his eyes from the child to look straight ahead seeing the love of his life not far from him. He still looks the same youthful and handsome and Sunghoon feels like a teenager in love again. The same Riki he left behind six years ago but different. He looks happy, healthier and... older. Sunghoon's eyes widen and his heart starts to beat faster than ever. He can't believe it. Riki runs towards him seeing the boy, Solon hugging him. 

"Riki..." the only thing Sunghoon manages to whisper too stunned to say anything else. The world stops for a moment.

Riki looks at Sunghoon with shock, his eyes wide and mouth open and they just stare at each other. It's clear he didn't expect to see him here. Riki's eyes widen with surprise and confusion, then they soften into sadness. 

"Sunghoon?" Riki whispers his name and stops right in front of them, seeing his child hugging the love of his life. God Sunghoon is still as handsome as ever although he looks really tired and like he hasn’t been sleeping well. The years have been kind to him but the stress and guilt were clearly visible.

Sunghoon opens his mouth to say something, anything, but the words get stuck in his throat. He never expected to run into Riki like this, especially not with a child that looks so much like him. A mix of emotions swirl in his chest, regret, hope, love, fear. He's afraid to ruin this moment, to scare Riki away with his sudden appearance after so long. But the love he feels for Riki is too strong to keep silent.