Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Three weeks have passed since Gunwook discovered this new thing he does to avoid feeling stressed.

Still, everything in Gunwook’s life remained the same. Well, only if he doesn’t mind the fact that his boyfriend and Jiwoong became overly protective of him.

Every time he expresses a small discomfort, they reach towards him at high speed, asking if he needs anything. If he says he is tired, they immediately urge him to go to bed. He says he’s hungry, and a snack appears out of nowhere in front of his face. 

And like that and many other instances, Jiwoong and Gyuvin show up to help Gunwook with whatever they think is necessary.

Maybe that is the reason why Gunwook refuses to slip back into little space after that one time. 

As soon as he woke up the day after his first time slipping, he pretended everything was okay and didn't even bring the topic up.

It could have been because Gunwook found the whole situation uncomfortable. But, in reality, he didn't want to be a burden when their comeback was near, so he didn’t slip into little space again. 

Even when there was nothing more that Gunwook wanted than to feel so secure wrapped between his hyungs’ arms, he refused to do it and forced himself to deal with whatever struggle he had on his own. 

Little did he know his choice was not only affecting him, but the entire team.

—

“Wook, are you sure you don't want to slip for a bit?” 

Gyuvin asked for the fourth time that day while he followed Gunwook closely behind to his room, making sure no one else was near to hear their conversation.

Gunwook sighs. 

“Gyuvin, I already told you. I don't feel little today. I don't want to be little. Please, stop asking.”

Gunwook complained and lay face down on his bed so he wouldn’t have to see the worrying expression on his boyfriend’s face.

Gyuvin sighs back. 

He knows Gunwook is lying. Since the first day they found out Gunwook slipped into little space, Gyuvin became overly protective of him, so right now he couldn’t help but worry that Gunwook would somehow get hurt if he didn’t slip when he obviously needed to do it.

“Had any luck?” 

Jiwoong asked, entering the room and closing the door behind him to make sure no one would interrupt them. 

He only had to take a look at Gyuvin’s expression to know the answer to his question.

“Gunwookie, please.” 

The older one sat by the foot of Gunwook’s bed, caressing his legs softly. Gunwook remained in the same position, not answering back. Maybe, if he ignores them, soon enough they will disappear. 

It's not like Gunwook didn't want to stop thinking and worrying, especially knowing he could easily do it with the help of his hyungs. But, on the other hand, he can’t help to think about how stupid it is of him to rely so much on them. He is old enough to manage his own emotions. He doesn't need to bother his hyungs. It doesn't matter how much he misses the comfort and warmth he felt last time. It’s wrong. 

Gunwook spent a few more minutes overthinking while his hyungs' worry increased with each passing minute. 

“Gunwookie? Please, talk to us.” 

Jiwoong tried again a few minutes later, massaging his calves to get his attention. 

“Mhm…” Gunwook made a sound to acknowledge Jiwoong, but he still refused to face them. 

Gunwook was currently having an internal battle in his mind. 

Now, he was refusing to acknowledge them because he knew he would not be able to resist the urge to slip once he saw them, because ignoring what they were saying stopped working a while ago. 

“You know we insist because we’re worried about you, right?” Gyuvin said this time. 

Gyuvin knew his boyfriend had been really stressed lately, and what worried him the most was that even the rest of the members had started to notice how Gunwook became more serious and moody during practice. Similarly to the time when he first slipped unannounced. 

And if the other members were starting to notice, it meant Gunwook was on the brink of snapping like the last time, and they knew Gunwook didn't want that to happen. But he is still stubborn and refuses to slip, even though Gyuvin and Jiwoong keep reassuring him that there’s nothing to worry about.

Ultimately, after failed attempts to convince Gunwook, they decided they would come up with a plan to help him.

When Gyuvin found out his boyfriend slipped into little space as a coping mechanism, he educated himself on the topic thoroughly. He read articles, several studies, and even blogs with other people’s suggestions for those who had started slipping for the first time. 

In his research, Gyuvin found that many first-time littles avoided slipping when they were too scared of the sudden change, and they needed reassurance from their carers . 

So that’s exactly what Gyuvin and Jiwoong planned to do for Gunwook. They would care for him.

According to what Gyuvin read, when littles find themselves in very stressful situations, what helped them slip the most was surrounding themselves in a calming atmosphere that made them feel younger. 

Many experienced carers mentioned that music could help, as well as games, so the littles progressively relaxed. Other carers mentioned that using children’s clothes or even pacifiers would quickly make someone slip into little space, but Gyuvin thought none of them were ready for such an abrupt change. 

Not yet, at least. 

What really caught Gyuvin’s attention was the change in the way the carers referred to the little once they slipped. They would use sweet pet names or cuter versions of the person’s name to make a difference between the ‘big’ and the little person to avoid slipping by mistake in an inappropriate place. 

Fortunately for Jiwoong and Gyuvin, they had already been doing that without realising. So, they would attempt to help Gunwook feel comfortable enough to slip. They were not sure their plan was going to work on Gunwook, but they decided it wouldn’t hurt to try.

Gyuvin, who was standing beside Gunwook’s bed, took a glance at Jiwoong to confirm they were about to do it. Jiwoong nodded his head, encouraging him. 

“ Wookie ?” Gyuvin tried, hesitantly. “Wookie, look at me… please?” Gyuvin muttered softly, approaching Gunwook. 

Gunwook froze in place at his boyfriend’s sudden change in tone. Gyuvin normally talked to him in a soft tone, but this time it was different. He could feel it. 

However, he still refused to look at them. Gyuvin looked at Jiwoong, asking for help. 

“Wookie,” Jiwoong felt the younger move a bit under his touch. “ Baby … we just want to help you.” 

Now, that immediately made Gunwook lift his head from under the covers and look back at his hyung, surprised. 

The only one who calls him baby is Gyuvin. But, now that he thinks about it, Gunwook doesn’t remember the last time his boyfriend referred to him with that pet name. Unfortunately for them, Gunwook quickly realized what they were trying to do.

“I’m not little!” he replied. But, contrary to his words, he sat with his back leaning against the headboard of his bed, finally acknowledging them.

Gunwook might have realized what they were doing, but it was somehow working. The younger’s demeanour definitely changed. 

But they needed more than pet names for that stubborn little head to slip, and they already had something prepared for that.

“Baby, would you like to play a game?” Gyuvin suddenly asked Gunwook, tentatively. 

Gunwook remained still, confused. He wasn’t expecting that to come out of Gyuvin’s mouth. Still, the tone in his words intrigued him for some reason, so he waited to hear what he had to say.

“Let’s play!” Jiwoong yelled a bit too loudly, startling Gunwook. “Do you want to play with us, Wookie?” Jiwoong asked more carefully this time.

Gunwook hated how fast his body reacted to that sentence, but he quickly approached Jiwoong, definitely interested. Whatever they were doing, it was working.

Gyuvin saw Gunwook was paying attention, so he proceeded with their plan.

“Oh, oh!” Gyuvin said this time, raising his tone of voice, making Gunwook pay even more attention. 

Gunwook turned his head to look at Gyuvin immediately. He had a box in his hands. Where did he get that from? 

“This box says that this is a game for children,” Gyuvin faked concern and signaled Jiwoong to do the same thing. 

“Oh! But if that’s the case, our Wookie won’t be able to play with us.” Jiwoong pouted, looking at the younger one with slight expectation. 

Gunwook’s eyes opened big in surprise. At this point, even if he knew what they were trying to do, he didn’t care enough to stop them. 

His brain couldn't care enough.

“Why can’t Wookie… I mean. Why can’t I play?” Gunwook asked, hesitantly, his thoughts already starting to cloud. 

Then, he noticed, for some reason, he was holding Jiwoong’s hand tightly. When did that happen?

“Mmm… Because this is a game for littles Wookie, and you just said you are not one. That’s a bummer. Well, I guess we can’t play today.” Gyuvin motioned to put the game away.

“WAIT!” Gunwook raised his voice involuntarily. Jiwoong noticed how his lips started to quiver. “Wookie can- I Can play!” Gunwook tried to convince Gyuvin, who had already put the box down. 

“No, Wookie. It's okay. I guess I'll just have to ask Yujinie to play with me late-

“NOOO!” Gunwook looked at Jiwoong in despair, like asking him to do something. His eyes started to fill with tears, and his duckie lips were in full display. 

Jiwoong didn’t seem to know what to do to help, so Gunwook got frustrated. 

“I Little!” He ended up saying as his last resort, a slight tear falling down his rosy cheeks. 

Gyuvin's heart sank, and he hurried to hug his boyfriend, but Gunwook rejected him, turning his body completely towards Jiwoong, asking him to hold him instead. 

Jiwoong opened his arms, and Gunwook immediately hugged him, sitting on his lap. 

“I'm sorry, baby. Don't cry, please.” Jiwoong caressed the back of his head apologetically. 

“Wookie, I'm so sorry. Baby, we can play together!” Gyuvin tried getting closer again, but Gunwook hid his face in the crook of Jiwoong's neck.

Gyuvin looked at Jiwoong defeatedly. 

“Baby, don't hide…” Jiwoong grabbed Gunwook's face gently and wiped away the tears that were still falling. Gunwook was still sad but listened to his hyung and paid attention to him. “Gyuvinie was just joking. You can play!” 

However, as soon as Jiwoong said that, Gunwook cried again, hugging Jiwoong even tighter.

“Vinnie meanie… say- say Wookie no play!” He pouted his way through the sentence the best he could. Jiwoong looked up to see Gyuvin almost crying too.

They waited for some time while Jiwoong patted Gunwook's back until he calmed down. Then, he offered him water that Gyuvin passed him in a light-blue sippy cup. 

That was the last thing they would resort to if the game thing didn't work. They were glad they still found a way to use it after all.

Gunwook stared at the sippy cup for a while, and with a wide smile, he accepted it from Jiwoong's hands. 

“You like your new cup, love?” Jiwoong asked as he maneuvered himself to be more comfortable in the bed while Gunwook nodded a reply. Gyuvin stared at the scene with a smile on his face, happy to see his boyfriend was okay. 

“You were thirsty, huh… Now we can play!” Jiwoong offered again. But Gunwook's head dropped to his new cup. “What happened, Wookie?” Jiwoong grabbed the cup and put it aside to lift Gunwook's head. “Tell hyungie what's wrong, baby.”

Gunwook hesitated to answer, and Jiwoong started to worry. But before he could ask again, Gunwook leaned in closer to him, whispering in his ear. 

“Meanie now let Wookie play?” Jiwoong wanted to laugh after hearing the little version of Gunwook call his boyfriend meanie, but sweet Gunwookie looked so serious when he said it that Jiwoong could only reply in the same tone. 

“Maybe if you ask nicely, he will let us play with him,” Jiwoong whispered back.

Gunwook's eyes opened in surprise once again and a little whine left his lips. 

“hyungie asks!” he whispered-yelled again in Jiwoong's ears.” 

Gyuvin smiled at that, obviously hearing the conversation, preparing himself to give a proper answer this time. 

Jiwoong suddenly cleared his throat, preparing to speak. Gunwook looked at him proudly, happy to get what he wanted. Until, 

“Gyuvin, our baby has something to say. Please, listen to him.” Jiwoong chanted out loud, gently turning Gunwook's face so he was forced to face Gyuvin.

“No!” Gunwook screeched and squirmed his way out of Jiwoong's hold and hid again in the crook of his neck. 

“You have something to say, Wookie?” Gyuvin approached the bed with more confidence this time. “I'm all ears, pumpkin.” 

Gunwook looked up at Jiwoong's face first. He couldn't believe his hyung was smiling this wide after betraying him like that. Then, he slowly turned around, getting up from Jiwoong's lap and sitting to the side of his bed, just in front of Gyuvin.

Gunwook stayed in the same position for a few seconds while his hyungs waited for him. They knew little Gunwookie had a hard time approaching Gyuvin for some reason, so they didn't rush him. 

After some serious thought, Gunwook finally looked up, only to immediately stare at his hands as soon as his eyes met Gyuvin's, his cheeks turning a deeper shade of red. 

He reminded himself he wanted to play, so he tried to talk, focusing on his socks instead of the older one’s face this time. 

“mmm… Wookie- Wookie play?” He asked hesitantly, his heart beating faster every passing second. Gyuvin didn't answer, which was funny considering he couldn't see Gyuvin dying from cuteness just in front of him. 

“Mmm, let me think about it…” Gyuvin tested. 

Gunwook looked up at that. He was worried Gyuvin wouldn't let him play after calling him a meanie. He had to do something.

“Please?” Gunwook suddenly puckered his lips as he tilted his head to one side. He doesn't know where he learned that, but it sure was working as the first thing Gyuvin does is squish his cheeks and call him cute repeatedly for a whole minute. 

The contact started to bother him, so he backed away, still looking at Gyuvin with puppy eyes.

“Oh my god, you are seriously the cutest baby to ever exist. My heart will explode, you can't keep doing that, love.” Gyuvin touched his chest, trying to compose himself. “Of course you can play. The game is yours, I bought it for you.” Gyuvin finally confessed as he started to lean forward to hug the younger, but Gunwook once again backed away from him.

“Thank you, Vin hyung.” Gunwook answered quietly, trying to give him a smile as a reply. Then he turned around to look at Jiwoong. “hyungie! Wookie play!” He crawled excitedly through the bed to get to Jiwoong and hugged him instead, leaving Jiwoong and Gyuvin speechless

This wasn't the first time little Gunwook rejected something from Gyuvin just to ask Jiwoong for that same exact thing, and, at the moment, none of them understood why. 

Jiwoong noticed Gyuvin’s disappointment, but he still held Gunwook. He would talk about it with Gyuvin later. 

“Let's play, Wookie!” Jiwoong encouraged the younger one after sending Gyuvin a sympathetic look.

—

After playing two rounds of a very easy game for children, Gunwook started to get sleepy, so Jiwoong helped him shower and got him a new change of clothes before putting him in bed. Gyuvin wanted to help too but Gunwook, once again, refused and asked only Jiwoong to help him.

Gyuvin reluctantly stayed behind, tidying Gunwook’s room while he waited until the younger one was asleep so he could talk to Jiwoong. 

As soon as Jiwoong was able to escape Gunwook's hold, he and Gyuvin left the room to talk.

“Gyuvin…” Jiwoong started as soon as they reached the kitchen. Luckily, the other members were all in their respective rooms. “Tell me what's on your mind.” 

Gyuvin sighed heavily, chugging a cup of water. 

“I'm just confused, hyung. I don't understand why Gunwook rejects me when he is little. Did I go too far today? I didn't mean to make him cry like that,” he lamented.

“I know Gyu. If I had done it, he would've had the same reaction. Don't worry too much about it.” 

“But he would already have forgiven you.” Gyuvin dropped his head into his hands. 

“We'll figure out why he is like this with you, don't worry.” Jiwoong tried to reassure him.

—

The next day, everything went back to normal again.

Gunwook woke up in a good mood, greeted everyone good morning, and went to practice with the biggest smile on his face.

Unfortunately, these sudden changes in attitude didn't go unnoticed by the rest.

“Something good happened to you between last night and this morning? What's with the sudden giddiness over having to practice more than usual, Gunwook?” Taerae, who never failed to point out directly what he thought, questioned as he tried to set himself in a more comfortable position on the couch of the practice room.

After their comeback promotions that had just finished, many stages overseas followed for the group, so they had to rehearse a few more songs than usual. And Taerae was not particularly happy about it. No one was really, but Gunwook didn't seem to mind. Today, he looked happy to stay longer in the practice room.

Gunwook was dancing along to their song ‘Blue’ when they were supposed to rest during the precious five minutes they barely get during a long practice session like today, but what Taerae said made him stop in his tracks. Was he being too much?

Gyuvin noticed his boyfriend's hesitation upon hearing Taerae. 

It's not like he was in the wrong, but since Gunwook was still lingering between little space and actual Gunwook since this morning, he is still quite sensitive, and what Taerae said could have sounded rougher than the older one intended.

Gyuvin approached Gunwook with the excuse of passing him some water and patted his back, showing him he was right there for him. Gunwook immediately relaxed, thanking his boyfriend with a knowing look over the mirror.

Gunwook drank a bit of the liquid before attempting to answer back.

“I think I just slept really well. I hadn't been able to sleep since our comeback.” He gave Taerae a sincere reply. 

It was true, anxiety kept him awake most nights, and the fact that he denied himself refused resting and slipping made the symptoms even worse, but he hadn't noticed until Taerae pointed it out to him.

“That's good then,” Matthew chimed in, offering Gunwook a smile. 

Gunwook smiled back. Taerae only nodded a reply.

“Shall we go back to practice?” Hanbin said, the team's improved mood suddenly gave him a surge of good energy too.

This past month, the whole team had been walking on eggshells for a while, since none of them had gotten a proper break in a while. And the fact that one of the moodmakers of the team wasn’t acting like himself made everyone else feel funny too. 

So, with Gunwook back to his energetic self, everyone else started to feel better too.

Everyone agreed to go back to practice, focusing on what had to be done so they could go back home shortly after.

Practice ended flawlessly, but Gunwook became quieter again; a typical reaction when he had too much on his mind. 

His carers noticed.

—

As soon as they arrived at their apartment, everyone dispersed to shower. Gunwook tried to do the same thing, dragging his feet along the corridor and reaching the doorknob of his door. He hadn’t realized the pair of boys following him closely behind. 

Once he noticed, he didn’t say anything, dragging this out would only make it worse, so he just entered his room, expecting the other two to close the door for him.

“Babe, are you okay?” Gyuvin asked when he saw Gunwook throw his backpack mindlessly on the floor and hop on the bed without saying a word.

Gunwook looked back at him, tears filling his eyes. When did he become so sensitive?

“Oh, baby…” Jiwoong reached Gunwook’s bed and didn’t hesitate to approach him and hug him.

“Hyungie,” Gunwook sobbed, letting himself be hugged by the older. “Wookie tired, hyungie,” Gunwook complained in between sobs; a devastating sight for Gyuvin, who stood still at the foot of his bed.

This time, the change was so quick, it amazed Gyuvin how quickly Jiwoong realized Gunwook was little. 

“Can I hug you too, baby?” Gyuvin asked hesitantly. 

They still hadn’t figured out why little Gunwook sometimes rejected his presence, but he couldn’t stay still seeing his boyfriend cry his eyes out. So, he approached the younger one. 

Gunwook lifted his head from Jiwoong’s chest and looked up at the older, his cheeks tinting a darker shade of red at the sudden attention. He didn’t spare Gyuvin a look and went back to his hiding spot once he noticed Gyuvin was close to him.

Gyuvin stopped moving immediately.

Jiwoong furrowed his eyebrows, confused by Gunwook’s attitude. It just didn’t make sense. 

“Wookie, can Gyuvin hug you? He wants to make sure you’re okay,” Jiwoong offered slowly.

Maybe the answer would change if he was the one asking.

Gunwook squirmed in his touch a little, but after thinking about it, he reached for Jiwoong’s ear and whispered something quietly enough for Gyuvin not to catch.

“What!?” Jiwoong answered back after hearing Gunwook, and he could not help but laugh uncontrollably right after.

“No laugh hyungie!” Gunwook complained cutely and crossed his arms, and an adorable pout adorned his face right after.

Gyuvin didn’t understand what was happening, but smiled at how adorable his boyfriend looked. Then, he looked at Jiwoong for an explanation.

“I think I know why this baby can’t be too close to you,” Jiwoong said while still laughing.

“Hyungie!” Gunwook squirmed his way out of their hug and covered himself with his blankets.

Gyuvin got even more confused at their different reactions.

“He likes you,” Jiwoong said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Then, he proceeds to laugh out loud again, seeing Gyuvin’s confused face.

“What do you mean?” Gyuvin furrowed his eyebrows, not understanding. “Of course he does. He might not want to be near me when he’s little, but he is still my boyfriend Jiwoong hyung!” Gyuvin said, irritated.

“Gyuvin, this is little Gunwookie we’re talking about. He doesn’t know what kind of relationship you guys have outside of what he sees right now.” Jiwoong explained more slowly this time, trying to compose himself.

“I still don’t get it.” Gyuvin looked between Jiwoong and Gunwook, like that would give him an answer.

“Wookie has a crush!” Jiwoong whispered-yelled, now a bit irritated.

“On who!?” Gyuvin was fed up with Jiwoong not giving him a straight-up answer.

“On you, dumbass!” Jiwoong couldn’t help but raise his voice a bit. “Little Gunwook has a crush on you! That is why he hesitates and gets shy when he is near you. He likes you.”

Gyuvin was taken aback by what he heard. “So… you’re saying my boyfriend likes me?”

Jiwoong laughed once again but stopped once he saw Gyuvin’s expression. 

“He’s not your boyfriend when he is little, Gyuvin. At least he doesn’t seem to know he is.”

“Oh my god,” Gyuvin says while falling dramatically on Gunwook’s bed. “All this time I've been so worried thinking the little version of my boyfriend HATES me. And you’re saying he likes me?” He repeated, trying to make sense of what he had just heard.

“He very much does.” Jiwoong nodded his head. “He just told me you look so handsome today, he cannot face you.” 

“Hyungie! Was secret!” Gunwook finally got out of his hiding spot, trying to shush Jiwoong.

Jiwoong laughed once again, whipping away an imaginary tear from his eye. He found the entire situation hilarious. 

“I’m sorry, Wookie, but Gyuvinie thought you didn’t like him and was feeling a bit sad. I had to tell him. Please, forgive me.” Jiwoong pouted towards Gunwook's direction.

Gunwook immediately looked at Gyuvin when Jiwoong said that, concerned.

“Vinnie hyung not sad! Wookie likes Vinnie hyung!” He approached Gyuvin carefully.

Gyuvin was unable to hide his smile. He had been so worried this whole time, he had no idea how Gunwook felt about him.

“Baby, please, let me hug you,” Gyuvin asked again, extending his arms towards Gunwook.

Gunwook hesitated a bit once again, looking back at Jiwoong for confirmation. He only closed the distance between him and Gyuvin after Jiwoong gave his approval.

Once Gyuvin had Gunwook close enough, he embraced him in a big hug. Gunwook felt butterflies when he felt his hyung's breath on his neck, so he giggled in his embrace.

“Oh, you have no idea how much I missed this,” Gyuvin said after some minutes holding the younger. He still didn’t let go of Gunwook.

Jiwoong rolled his eyes. “You’re so dramatic. You hug him every day, Gyuvin.” He complained, but later smiled at the sight of those two together.

“But not when he was little! This is the first time he lets me!” Gyuvin refuted, securing his hands around Gunwook’s waist even more tightly. “Gosh, I can’t believe I’m celebrating the fact that my boyfriend likes me. This is ridiculous.” He laughed at himself after the realization.

“What’s boyfriend?” Gunwook separated a little from their hug, looking up at Gyuvin.

“What?” Gyuvin opened his eyes in surprise and looked at Jiwoong for help, only to realize the older one looked as if he had just seen a ghost.

“What did you say, Gunwookie?” Jiwoong asked instead, avoiding replying to the question. 

Hopefully, Gunwook would forget what he had asked. He does that often when he’s in little space.

But of course, this time he didn’t forget.

Gunwook pouted briefly before speaking again. “Vinnie hyung say, hyungie. Boy- boyfriend? Yes, boyfriend! What’s that?” He asked again, waiting expectantly for an answer.

Jiwoong and Gyuvin looked at each other once again, unsure of what to say. Then, they sighed out loud. Meanwhile, little Gunwook thought their expressions were funny, so he giggled, covering his mouth. 

“You really want to know, little one?” Gyuvin asked Gunwook, tidying a few loose strands of his bangs.

Gunwook nodded his head a few times. For some reason, he felt excited to know. 

“KIM GYUVIN!” Jiwoong stopped him before Gyuvin could utter a word, throwing himself at them.

The conversation ended in a tickle fight that Gunwook ended up losing.

Luckily, Gunwook did end up forgetting he had even asked something in the first place, and that same day, Gyuvin and Jiwoong promised to be careful with what they talked about in front of him. 

They needed more time to figure out how they would answer those kinds of questions.