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Chapter Text

Sakura Haruno couldn't believe it, she felt completely overwhelmed.

She had received too much information in a very short time, and her mind was still struggling to process the fact that she had traveled through time, finding herself now in the past, approximately a year since the Hidden Leaf Village had been attacked by the Kyubi. The reconstruction was still ongoing, and the dust of the tragedy could still be felt in the air.

And according to what she had been told, being in this moment was her destiny.

...

Just moments before, Sakura had been in the hospital, reviewing the records of the newly admitted patients after an A-rank mission. Until suddenly she began to feel dizzy until she lost consciousness.

The next thing she knew, she was waking up disoriented on the cold floor of the Hokage's office, her arms firmly held by the ANBU soldiers...

There began the conversation she never thought she would have: with the Third Hokage, whom she had already seen die in her time.

At first, Sakura thought it was all a dream. However, the reality around her was undeniable.

"Y-You... you..." she stammered, not knowing what to say. "Am I in the past?" she whispered, with a lump in her throat.

She knew that time travel jutsus existed, but she had not performed any of them. She was completely perplexed. To her surprise, Hiruzen Sarutobi calmly got up from his seat and interrogated her. After verifying the data she provided, he seemed to believe her.

He asked the ANBU to leave, and then he was left alone with her. He walked to the window, his hands crossed behind his back, observing the outside with a serious gaze before speaking.

"This is not a journey you have chosen. You were sent," he said bluntly. "And you won't be able to return until you fulfill your mission."

"What mission?" Sakura frowned, fearing the answer.

Hiruzen slowly turned towards her, looked her over, and then fixed his eyes on the young woman's.

"It's written on your left arm."

Sakura looked in that direction, turned it, and there, engraved on her skin like a tattoo, were the words:

"Save Kakashi Hatake."

She felt the air leave her lungs.

"How?" she whispered, with a tight throat. "I don't understand... Kakashi-sensei is fine in the future."

The Hokage looked at her fixedly, without saying anything about her outburst. Sakura covered her mouth, realizing that she had just revealed information about the future.

"With all due respect, Hokage-sama... I don't understand what's going on. I don't want to alter the timeline. There should be a jutsu that takes me back to my own time."

"There is no such jutsu," Sarutobi replied calmly. "But there are ancient records, very ancient, of ninjas who were absorbed by space-time ruptures, destiny marks that manifest as a form of natural balance. No one knows why they occur, or how, but it is said that the very chakra of the world... can call someone at the exact moment when they are needed."

He paused, as if searching for the right words.

"Your mark was not placed by anyone we can trace, it is a part of you now. As if time itself had chosen you, Haruno Sakura."

"But what would I save him from? Is he very injured? Sick? I'm a medical ninja, I could help if..."

"I have an idea of what it's about," the Hokage interrupted her. "But it's not a physical wound, Haruno. It's an internal wound. A silent pain that he has carried for years... too many losses for someone so young."

"So..." she murmured, not entirely sure. "Is my mission... to help him emotionally?"

There was a brief silence. The Hokage looked at her attentively.

Sakura took a deep breath.

"I... I've studied mental health in the medical field. I'm not an expert, but I know how to recognize the symptoms, I know how to approach certain traumas, maybe I can... be there for him. Listen to him, accompany him... Be his therapist."

She looked up, this time determined.

"If that's my mission, I want to try. I want to help him."

For a moment, the silence became thick. Then the Hokage nodded, satisfied.

"Then I will officially assign you as his therapist. But it won't be easy, Haruno. Hatake is not someone who easily accepts help."

"I know," she replied. "But I'm not someone who gives up easily either."

Sakura looked at her arm again, where the words "Save Kakashi Hatake" were still engraved. If that was her mission, she would fulfill it.

...

Later, already in the apartment that had been assigned to her, Sakura looked closely at herself in the mirror and her new appearance.

She had dyed her hair a deep black-blue, completely hiding the characteristic pink. Her bangs now covered her forehead, not to hide her old insecurity, but to disguise the Byakugo seal. Her green eyes were hidden behind intense blue contact lenses.

The uniform she was wearing was not that of a kunoichi, but that of a civilian medical professional, it was sober and neutral.

She was no longer Sakura Haruno. Now she was Sakuya.

She didn't want to completely distance herself from who she was, but she didn't want to get involved as Sakura. If she pretended to be someone else, it would be easier to deal with someone who in her future would be her sensei.

She tried the name in silence, letting it roll through her mind as she observed her reflection. She looked different, and above all, she felt different. She took a deep breath, aware of the mission that lay ahead of her.

They had already provided her with all the necessary information about the fifteen-year-old Kakashi Hatake. She knew his history, his deep pain and his growing isolation. She knew he had lost too much, and too soon in a traumatic way. And that, little by little, he was building an impenetrable armor, becoming increasingly ruthless on the battlefield.

Her mission was clear: Save Kakashi Hatake. Because although he did not show any signs of wanting to die, he did not seem to have the desire to live either. And from now on, Sakuya would be the one in charge of changing that reality.

Chapter Text

Sakura was in an office that the Hokage had assigned her for these sessions. It was small but cozy. There was even a small kitchen with the bare minimum to prepare something hot. Although it was an office, Sakura personalized the space a bit, at least putting some plants to make it look more alive, and she was grateful that there was a bookshelf for books to make the environment more professional.

At the moment she was sitting at her desk, trying to figure out how she would treat this Kakashi from the past because despite being in the medical field, emotionally saving someone was not her specialty.

She didn't know how different he was from the Kakashi she knew, but what she did know is that he had recently lost his teacher Minato. Another loss, in addition to his father Sakumo, and his teammates, Obito and Rin.

At least it comforted her to know that she had a few hours before he appeared to finish planning, due to his habit of being late. However, the door opened with a slight creak at the indicated time.

Kakashi entered.

A fifteen-year-old Kakashi, with the same unruly and grayish hair that she remembered, but he looked much younger. He was wearing the ANBU uniform, his hands in his pockets, his back straight, and his black mask covering both his nose and mouth, but both black eyes were visible, and his gaze was cold.

"I thought you'd be late," Sakura said, impressed.

Kakashi slightly tilted his head.

"You don't know me," he said firmly. "Why did you think that?"

"Well..." Sakura tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, a bit nervous. "I thought you might run into a black cat and be forced to take another path... or that you'd have to help an old lady with her bags... or that you'd get lost in the..." she stopped at his intense gaze.

Kakashi didn't smile with his eyes. He just looked at her, fixed, with those eyes that seemed capable of seeing more than what he showed.

Sakura cleared her throat. This was not the Kakashi she remembered. There were no jokes, false calm, or that carefree air. This one was alert, tense... empty.

Silence.

She invited him to sit down with a gesture of her hand. Kakashi did so, but he was not relaxed, it was as if he was ready to get up at any moment.

Sakura introduced herself with the false name she had invented, "Sakuya," her age (eighteen years old) and explained that she had been assigned as a therapeutic caregiver. That she worked under direct orders from the Hokage, and that from today on she would be his therapist, with daily one-hour sessions if he was not out on a mission.

Then she opened her notebook and wrote: Start of the first session.

Sakura took a deep breath. She knew that anything she said would be evaluated. With Kakashi, nothing went unnoticed, she had to make a good impression.

"I know you don't want to be here," she began, softly, without aggression. "But I'm glad you came."

Kakashi didn't respond.

"My job is not to force you to say anything you don't want to," Sakura began. "I'm just going to ask you a few questions. If any of them make you uncomfortable, tell me and we'll stop, okay?"

"Okay," he answered after a few seconds.

"Let's start with something simple," Sakura paused. "You could introduce yourself and tell me what things you like and what things you hate. Dreams for the future? Also, what are your hobbies?"

"I'm Hatake Kakashi," he said in a monotonous tone. "Things I like and things I hate? I don't feel like telling you. My dreams for the future? I've never really thought about it. And as for my hobbies... I don't have any."

"You don't have any hobbies?" Sakura asked. The previous part was very much the Kakashi she knew, but the last part...

"No."

"Having a hobby is important in terms of physical and mental improvement," she explained. "So having one would be very beneficial for you. It can be anything..." she thought for a second. "Don't you like to read?"

"Not to consider it a hobby."

Sakura didn't quite believe him, not when her memory remembered him reading the Icha Icha everywhere. For the moment, she would leave the topic aside.

"What do you expect from these sessions?" she then asked.

Kakashi averted his gaze, as if searching the ceiling for an answer he couldn't find. Finally, he said:

"Nothing. The Hokage sent me."

Sakura wrote down, "Kakashi without disposition."

"Okay. Then let's start from there. What is it that you don't want to happen here? What would be a waste of time?"

Kakashi raised an eyebrow slightly.

"Talk."

"Okay," Sakura responded, writing down again (Kakashi reluctant to share). "Then let's talk with purpose because even though you consider it a waste of time, you'll see that it's not."

"I don't need to talk," Kakashi suddenly said, in a dry tone. "I don't need this. I'm fine."

"You don't look fine," Sakura responded, with a soft but firm tone.

Kakashi raised an eyebrow, without responding.

"Your back is tense as if you don't remember what it's like to rest... and that expression that says you haven't been sleeping as you should for days."

Kakashi averted his gaze, focusing on a spot on the floor.

"Remember, you're not here to manage on your own. You're here because the Hokage believes you need help. Because you survived, and lost people you cared about in the process, and now you have to learn to live with that."

And there, for a fraction of a second, the silence became heavier. Kakashi breathed slower.

"I'm here to listen to you. Whenever you feel ready to talk."

Kakashi said nothing. Minutes passed and he seemed reluctant to share anything, but Sakura wouldn't let him go until the scheduled time was up, she offered him a cup of tea, but he refused it, or reading, or anything. They just remained silent.

"For today, that's enough," Sakura leaned back in her chair. "You don't have to let it all out in the first session. See you tomorrow."

Kakashi got up and disappeared in a cloud of smoke, Sakura rolled up her sleeve to see the words engraved on her skin again.

"Save Kakashi Hatake"

Even now, she wondered if she was saying the right words. If she could really save him.

...

The first sessions didn't vary much. Kakashi didn't start the conversation, he answered some questions, but not the necessary ones.

The clock marked the exact time when Kakashi left for the seventh time. It had been a week.

Sakura looked up from her notebook with a barely perceptible smile.

"Punctual again," she commented, without raising her voice too much, as if she didn't expect an answer. However, this time, Kakashi said something different.

"Yes, no black cat crossed my path as you expected."

He walked to the same sofa, sat down with his arms crossed and his back straight. Nothing in his body language suggested comfort.

"You can get comfortable."

"I'm fine."

"How did you feel after the last time?" she asked, opening her notebook, without arguing the previous one.

"The same," he answered, without thinking.

Sakura nodded. It was predictable, no changes, but since she knew these things take time, and although she wanted to return to her time as soon as possible, she had to take this seriously, even if in the future everything indicated that Kakashi was fine. Really, what she does here, will it be alright?

"Today I want to try something simple," she said, lowering her gaze to the paper, her initial comment made her think he was more receptive today.

Kakashi didn't respond.

"I want you to name the first person that comes to your mind."

His expression tensed immediately.

"I don't see the point," he said, and he sounded cold, defensive.

"I do," Sakura replied calmly. "But I won't force you," his defensiveness gave her the answer she needed. The first person that crossed his mind was someone who wasn't there, otherwise he wouldn't explain such evasiveness.

The silence stretched. The ticking of the clock filled the void with its unhurried rhythm.

Kakashi averted his gaze. For a moment, it seemed like he was going to get up and leave.

But he didn't. He remained there.

"You already know the names of the people who died because of my fault. Surely they told you about that, right? Do you expect me to say them?"

"Yes, I know the names. But the point is that you want to name them, not me," she said. "We can talk about one. Only if you agree. The one you think about the most lately, is there someone you think about more than others?"

A few seconds. When Sakura thought he wasn't going to answer, she heard him.

"Obito," he finally said.

Sakura nodded, without changing the rhythm of her breathing. She gave him space.

"Why him?"

"Because you reminded me of him," Kakashi answered, and she blinked. "The first day. When you said those excuses about black cats and old ladies with bags."

Sakura remained still. She didn't expect him to have reminded him of someone. But even more so that he would express it.

"He used to do that," Kakashi said, and his eyes lost a bit of focus, as if he was seeing him.

Then for a few seconds the room fell silent, one of those that shouldn't be filled. Sakura held his gaze, firm but without pressure.

"I know what you're trying to do with these sessions, you're going to tell me to forget it, that it's not my fault... But it is and I'm not going to forget it. Him and no one else." he assured with coldness in his voice. "You're wasting your time and mine."

"No, I won't tell you to forget it," Sakura said quickly. "You don't have to force yourself to bury those memories. You can even honor those you've lost, maybe, integrating their memories into your daily life: 'What would Obito do in this situation?' And do it."

Sakura paused. He looked at her and seemed to review her words in his mind.

"Do you want me to be late like him?"

She wasn't referring to that exactly, but he wasn't too far off either.

"It may be... mainly I want the guilt not to consume you," then she dared to continue. "Doing things he would do could help you..."

The clock struck the hour and he, in the middle of her words, disappeared in a cloud of smoke, without saying anything else.

One day at a time, she thought.

...

The sessions continued, one after the other, wrapped in routines and silences. Sakura took down minimal details, a change in tone of voice, a prolonged gaze, the restless movement of Kakashi's fingers when he was thinking. She observed him in a way she never thought she would.

One afternoon, after two weeks. Sakura decided to walk around the village to clear her head. The fresh breeze of Konoha helped her organize her thoughts. When she passed near the training grounds, she saw Kakashi, alone, throwing kunai at a log until the wood cracked. He moved with precision, but his movements were mechanical.

"You have good aim," she commented to say something, stopping at a prudent distance.

Kakashi didn't turn around, but he stopped. He picked up the kunai one by one, remaining silent.

"Are you coming to analyze me when I'm not in the consultation either?" he asked, without hostility, but with a certain resignation.

Sakura smiled slightly, relaxing her shoulders.

"No. I'm just walking to clear my head. Sometimes it helps to do something else not to think. Doesn't the same thing happen to you when you train?"

The air around them became denser, but Sakura didn't move away.

"It doesn't help as much as they say."

Kakashi put away the last kunai and stood up. He seemed about to leave, but he stood still, and spoke before continuing on his way. To Sakura's delight, his unexpected but comforting words surprised her.

"See you tomorrow."

...

Sakura had learned not to force things. Kakashi would arrive, sit down and not say a word. She would write in her notebook, sometimes pretend to read, sometimes just accompany him in silence when she knew he was reluctant to answer her questions or participate in her exercises, or they would even have tea in silence.

That session, however, she had brought a small book. One that had cost her to buy, but she did it so that her mind would start to occupy itself with other things.

Distraction. A little relief.

She had offered to read some of the books from the library, but he would leave them after a few minutes, he couldn't even tell her to do a task with the book if he didn't take the time to read it.

So she gave him the book she thought he would like. She left it on the low table, between the two of them.

He didn't say anything for a few seconds.

Kakashi raised an eyebrow.

"Icha Icha," Kakashi read in a low voice. His tone was neutral, but his eyes looked at her directly. "Isn't this the kind of book one shouldn't recommend in a session?"

Sakura held his gaze, trying to ignore the burning in her cheeks, out loud she felt bad about her distraction idea.

She tried to ignore that idea. After all, she could assure that in secret he read it, even if now he didn't want to admit it, she just had to grant him a couple of years for the audacity.

"They're funny too. And they have a better narrative structure than you'd expect. You might like it... if you haven't read it before..."

"I've never read it."

Sakura blinked slowly. Never?

"But... the one who wrote it was Jiraiya. He was your teacher's teacher, Minato." She still couldn't believe he had never read it.

That seemed to catch Kakashi's attention. He looked at her.

"Haven't you ever read any of his works?" Sakura asked again, and in response he told her that Minato had recommended "The Tale of the Gutsy Ninja" and stressed that it was not erotic like this one.

Sakura blushed even more strongly. She felt her face was very hot, realizing that she was the one who recommended the erotic reading.

"I'm going to make some tea, do you want any?" Sakura said, trying to regain her composure.

...

The next day. Kakashi entered the office.

"Did you sleep last night?" she asked, without raising her voice, as she wrote ("Kakashi didn't sleep again") in her notebook.

Kakashi shrugged slightly, without answering right away.

"A little," he finally said.

Sakura looked up, tilting her head slightly.

"Was it because of nightmares?" she asked softly. "This time, could you tell me what they were like?"

He didn't respond. Sakura thought about how difficult it must have been. He had never expressed anything about his nightmares before, for a moment, he just let the trembling in his hands accompany him before ignoring the question as if she had never asked.

However, this time, was he blushing?

"Or because you stayed up late reading Icha Icha?" she dared to ask.

Kakashi turned his head towards her, very slowly. His eyes narrowed. He didn't respond immediately, but Sakura thought she saw the slightest hint of disbelief in his expression. As if he didn't know which answer would be safer, he said nothing.

Sakura let out a brief laugh, but pressed her lips when she realized it had escaped.

"So it was Icha Icha?" she insisted, still smiling.

He said nothing.

Sakura wrote something innocently.

"Noted. 'Possible insomnia induced by questionable literature'."

"You wanted me to read it," he refuted with his calm voice.

"Yes, but you decided to read it," she said, teasing him a bit. Before she could realize that she might be getting too personal, she saw life in his eyes, and it was much more pleasant than the intense emptiness that his gaze induced.

"You have some particular recommendations for a therapist."

Sakura felt a mix of embarrassment and indignation in equal parts at the way he looked at her. It was as if he was telling her that she was a closet pervert.

"You read it, Kakashi!"

"I never would have if you hadn't recommended it to me."

Before Sakura could continue replying to her "patient," or before she could regret crossing a line, in that attempt to improve the atmosphere, for the first time she perceived a slight crinkling of his eyes, a hint of a hidden smile under the mask.

...

More than a month had passed and session number thirty began differently. Kakashi arrived on time, as always, but this time he didn't sit down immediately. He stood by the window, looking outside as if he was looking for something that wasn't there.

Sakura didn't rush him. She closed the notebook and waited in silence.

Kakashi took a deep breath, his shoulders still tense.

"I dreamed of them," he whispered. "Rin, Obito... I dreamed of the moment they died... Again."

Sakura felt a lump in her throat, but she forced herself to remain calm. He didn't ask her anything, but that he expresses it, she supposed he was looking for something from her. And that was a great step forward.

"Kakashi... they're not in your dreams to hurt you," the woman spoke softly. "What hurts the most... is what keeps coming back. It's not Rin or Obito blaming you for anything. It's your own heart... that still doesn't know how to forgive itself."

Kakashi looked away. The silence stretched before he spoke, barely a whisper.

"The guilt doesn't go away."

A dry pause.

"And maybe... it shouldn't go away."

Sakura held his gaze, not moving away.

"Maybe the guilt never completely disappears, Kakashi. Like many things... one learns to live with it. You don't have to force yourself to forget them, or erase what you feel. You can remember them, even blame yourself... but in the end, I'd like you to be able to forgive yourself. And that you can see that, in reality... it wasn't your fault."

Kakashi nodded slightly, a slow, almost imperceptible gesture. This time, he let himself fall against the backrest. His shoulders yielded, barely, as if releasing a minimal but real weight.

The rest of the hour passed in silence. Not the tense silence of always, but one that breathed differently, before leaving, Kakashi thanked her.

"Thank you, Sakuya."

It was the first time he called her by that name.

...

While waiting for Kakashi to arrive, Sakura saw him enter the office, and this time he was late.

"Did you get lost on the way?" she joked. Because that's all she could do, try to get him to relax. "Did some old lady have trouble with her shopping?"

Kakashi shrugged.

"Something like that," he replied as he sat down.

...

It was session number thirty-five. Sakura had noticed it since he entered: Kakashi was different. No more relaxed, not exactly.

He sat down without her having to invite him, put his hands in the pockets of his pants and fixed his gaze on the bookshelf, in silence.

Sakura opened her notebook out of habit.

"How was the night?" Sakura asked casually.

"Quiet," he replied, without embellishment.

She nodded and began to write. A few seconds passed. It was then that Kakashi spoke again.

"And you?"

Sakura blinked. She slowly raised her head.

"Me?"

"How did you sleep?" Kakashi asked calmly.

Sakura was surprised.

"Well?" she said, doubtfully.

"Aren't you sure?"

"I slept well... I just didn't expect that question."

"You're not the only one who can ask personal questions," Kakashi said. His eyes, under the messy bangs, seemed to be looking for something in hers.

Sakura looked at Kakashi with a gentle smile.

"Do you want to know more about me?" she asked.

Kakashi nodded seriously.

"Yes, if I'm going to keep coming to talk to you, I'd like to really get to know the person I'm talking to," she was surprised. She still remembered that he didn't want to "talk".

"Is that so? I've already told you the basics," Sakura replied. "My name is Sakuya, I'm eighteen, I work under the Hokage's orders and was assigned to you. Do you want me to tell you something more personal?"

Kakashi remained silent for a few moments, pensive, before speaking again.

"Maybe. What things do you like? What things do you hate? Dreams for the future? What are your hobbies?"

Sakura brought a hand to her chin, thoughtful.

"I like to continue learning medicine. I hate spicy food. I would like to open a clinic to evaluate and treat mental health -it was the closest dream she had- and my hobbies are trivia games."

Kakashi seemed satisfied with the answer. Then it was Sakura's turn to ask.

"Can I ask you now?" she said. "You said you had a quiet night, but those dark circles don't fool anyone. What kept you from sleeping? Was it a dream? Or did you stay up late reading?"

He decided not to answer.

"You know I didn't give you that book so you wouldn't sleep. If you like it so much, you should think about reading it in public. It's a pocket book."

"Don't think I'll do that."

Sakura smiled.

...

Fifty days had passed and thirty-nine sessions. Today's had ended, but Kakashi didn't get up. He kept looking at the cup she had served him, turning it between his fingers as if avoiding looking at her.

Sakura gathered her things calmly, but noticed his stillness.

"Everything alright?" she asked, without pressing him.

"Thinking," he said, without looking at her, releasing the cup.

She nodded. There was no need for him to explain further. She leaned down to take Kakashi's empty cup, and in that movement, a strand of hair slid across her face. She brushed it aside with one hand, but Kakashi raised his before she could.

Her breath got caught in her throat. He didn't touch her, but his hand remained suspended halfway, as if he had forgotten what he was going to do. It was so rare to see him hesitate that she almost forgot to blink.

"Yes?" she asked softly.

He lowered his hand slowly and averted his gaze.

"Nothing. It's done."

Sakura then saw it. A line of color crossed his cheeks, it was barely perceptible under the mask, but unmistakable in the slight blush that peeked through his exposed cheekbones.

She didn't expect that from Kakashi.

She felt a spark of warmth run through her chest. She wanted to believe that this small change was because of her, because of what they had built in those sessions. And for a moment, she thought that maybe she was reaching him.

Kakashi got up in more haste than usual and left without looking at her again.

...

More than two months had passed since Sakura began her sessions and, although she noticed some improvement in Kakashi, she still wondered if that was enough. She didn't see any changes in the mark on her arm. The Hokage would occasionally ask her if the mark was fading, which would be a sign that her mission was accomplished, but until then there were no clear signs.

Until one day it started to fade. Soon it would be gone.

...

The afternoon was falling over Konoha. She had proposed another session in the afternoon, since she felt that one hour was not enough and she hoped to accelerate things, to her surprise there was no rejection. The light was entering through the window in long, golden lines, bathing the room with an unusual calm. The steam from the tea rose softly, and Kakashi watched it as if he was looking for something in it that he didn't quite understand.

Kakashi placed the cup on the low table and glanced at her. Lately, Sakura had noticed that he looked at her, she could think that he was subtle. But she was also a ninja.

Sakura lowered her gaze to her own cup, still hot in her hands.

"Kakashi..." she began slowly. "There's something I want to make clear."

He looked up, attentive.

"I'm not going to stay," she said softly. "I don't know when, but the time will come when I have to leave. And when that happens, I don't want it to take you by surprise."

Kakashi frowned slightly. He didn't say anything. He watched her intently, as if trying to process her words.

"I'm not going to stay longer than necessary. I'm here to help you be well... and when you're ready to be without me, I'll leave."

"And who decides when I'm ready?"

"You, Kakashi," she answered without hesitation. Because the fading of the words had to mean the fulfillment of the mission.

Kakashi lowered his gaze to his empty cup. There was a longer silence this time. Not uncomfortable, but full of unspoken meanings.

Sakura leaned forward, picked up both cups, and walked to the small teapot at the back.

"Where are you going to go?" Kakashi asked.

Sakura blinked.

"Far away."

Kakashi said nothing. He just nodded once, slowly, and looked out the window.

"Does it bother you?" she asked softly.

He shook his head.

"It shouldn't," Kakashi said. For a moment, the ninja's shoulders tensed, but then they relaxed. His face was still partially covered by the mask, but his eyes... his eyes were fixed on her.

...

That day was different, the letters that ran across her arm, so black, were clearer.

Was her mission being completed? The Hokage told her it seemed that way.

"I won't come tomorrow. I'll be away for a couple of days," Kakashi announced.

She knew the reason. She knew that his absence was due to an ANBU mission and therefore, to voluntarily delve into an even darker pit.

Even though she had told the Third Hokage to consider taking him out of ANBU.

He was firm in his response that considering the current situation, they could not dismiss such a valuable asset, and that he hoped she would do enough for him to save him.

Sakura was angry about this, but she knew she couldn't do much more. She felt that, to a certain extent, the treatment had stagnated, and that it was now necessary to change the environment that surrounded him. To her frustration, lately all she had been doing was trying to prevent the darkness from completely consuming him.

"Why are you in ANBU?" she asked before he left. She had wanted to address that topic when the Third Hokage considered retiring him, but that moment still seemed far away, and she was close to leaving. "It's not helping you to be there."

He didn't say anything.

"Is it to deal with the pain?"

"Yes."

"Does it work?"

He nodded slightly.

"I don't feel anything."

The answer left her frozen, it was definitely a harmful environment.

When had he stopped being in ANBU? Sakura tried to remember, but she couldn't.

How long would she be here? Would she have weeks or days left? Not knowing the exact day, and whether she was doing something meaningful, anguished her.

"You've been strange."

She didn't expect it, although it didn't entirely surprise her either. Being his therapist didn't mean he stopped being an observer. But she couldn't tell him the real reason.

"Are you leaving soon?" Kakashi asked, and that surprised her, she saw his hands in his pockets. It should be a relaxed posture, but she felt him tense.

She looked him in the eyes, those that didn't seem so empty, but now Kakashi was going on an ANBU mission for days to emotionally shut down while destroying every emotion in his body, and when he returned, again, she would try to get him out, hoping that something she says will be enough.

Was she helping him? Did she do something to save him?

Sakura opened the answer to respond. The mark was fading, it must mean that what she was doing was good, that she was saving him.

"...Yes."

As she uttered those words, Kakashi disappeared.

...

The next time she saw him, she didn't expect to find him with his suit splattered with blood, dark stains covering his chest, arms and legs, right there, in front of the door to her apartment.

It wasn't his, she could tell immediately when she assessed that he was not physically injured. However, what really disturbed her was his gaze, but not empty. Instead, it was desperate.

"Kakashi?"

The anguish rose to her throat, and she knew it was reflected on her face. He noticed it too. They were so close that she could feel the warmth of his breath filtering through the mask, and that fixed, intense gaze trapped her, making it clear that there was no room to escape.

"My life is made up of people who left."

The words pierced her chest like a kunai. Before she could respond, he leaned his face and brushed his masked lips against hers. Despite the fabric, Sakura felt the warmth, the weight and the vulnerability that he never allowed to show.

"Don't be one more," he whispered, trying to sound firm, though a barely audible plea crept into his voice. His ears were burning, and Sakura didn't know if he was even aware of it.

She remained motionless, her heart pounding against her ribs, trapped between responding or pulling away. But he didn't give her a chance to decide, he pulled away as quickly as he had shortened the distance and, in the blink of an eye, disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

Sakura was left staring at the empty space, her face flushed and her breathing short. She brought her fingers to her lips, almost without thinking, still feeling the warm echo of that contact that had made her heart race, still incredulous at what had happened.

...

It didn't take long, in a few minutes of entering the apartment, the mark on her arm began to burn, but the words were no longer there. The pain grew like fire, tearing a gasp from her. Dizziness, blurred vision, the world fading.

When she regained consciousness, she was no longer there, but she did not return to her time as she had hoped.

Three years had passed. Kakashi Hatake was now 18 years old.

And on his left arm, the letters remained, sharp and cruel, like an order that never let go:

"Save Kakashi Hatake".

Chapter Text

Kakashi stood in front of the Hokage's desk, not changing his expression, although deep inside he wished he was anywhere else.

"I want you to start sessions with a therapist," Hiruzen said bluntly.

Kakashi froze for a moment, blinking slowly.

"I'm fine," the ninja replied calmly and expressionlessly. "I don't need therapy."

"It's an order," the Hokage added, with a serene but firm voice. "You start tomorrow, her name is Sakuya."

Kakashi didn't ask anything else, nor did he object before leaving the office. But deep down, he hated the idea: talking, opening up, exposing himself.

What would be the point of telling a stranger what cannot be changed?

...

At first, Kakashi didn't understand why he had to attend those sessions, he didn't believe it would be of any use, talking didn't bring anyone back.

But then he met her. Sakuya.

And from the very first moment, she reminded him of Obito. Not outwardly, but her initial comment did, with her excuses for being late.

He didn't like it.

Nor did he like the way she sat, the way she looked without invading, the way she spoke as if she understood.

During the first sessions, Kakashi mostly shielded himself in silence, and only sometimes responded just enough without revealing his inner self.

However, she spoke to him with calm and compassion, and that, without knowing why, was both unbearable and necessary to him at the same time.

...

He didn't know when he started thinking about her outside of the sessions. Sometimes, one of her questions would come to his mind. Other times, it was one of her phrases, simply making the day weigh a little less.

One day he talked about Obito with someone other than himself, unexpectedly it was with her.

And Sakuya didn't tell him to forget, nor that he had to let go. She just listened, accepted his pain, even encouraged him to remember. That disarmed him because he didn't know how much he needed to hear those words until he did.

...

Sometimes, Sakuya reminded him of Rin. Maybe it was her way of calming him effortlessly, or the warmth that seemed to envelop him. It was a fleeting thought, almost uncomfortable. But when she left Icha Icha on the table with the recommendation to read it, that thought was instantly dispelled.

Kakashi went to his apartment, and that night before going to sleep, he held the book that Sakuya had given him.

At first, when he opened it and started reading, he felt a pang of embarrassment and confusion at the explicit descriptions and details. He was not used to that, and an uncomfortable heat rose up his neck as he imagined the scenes.

But still, he kept reading and began to see something beyond the erotic content. It was the way the words described emotions, human connections, desires and vulnerabilities.

The book, light and entertaining, offered him an escape from the constant noise of his own memories, and he immersed himself in the content. Kakashi read unhurriedly, while the soft sound of the pages turning, the feel of the paper between his fingers, offered him peace.

...

The day after reading Icha Icha, he tried to ignore her. It was what he usually did, let the conversation run out with his succinct responses.

She laughed. It was brief, as if it had escaped her, but authentic enough to surprise him when she accused him of not being able to sleep because of reading Icha Icha, which the ninja was not going to admit. However, something in her tone, a mix of provocation and warmth, made him participate, get involved in the atmosphere... he began to relax.

He couldn't remember the last time someone had made him feel that way... as if he was in a safe place, and without realizing it, the edges of his eyes crinkled. It wasn't a deliberate smile, more of a reflex. And he knew it instantly, she noticed it.

That was dangerous.

But for some reason, it didn't bother him as much as it should have.

...

From there, it was just the beginning for him to start opening up to her, sharing parts of himself that he had no intention of revealing to anyone else.

He started arriving late as a result of staying much longer in front of the memorial stone where Obito's name was written.

Lately he had decided to do things he believed Obito would do, as if that could bring him a little closer, and that, perhaps, it would ease the pain.

"I will always remember you," Kakashi murmured. "I'm sorry... for not being able to protect you. Nor you, nor Rin."

The wind blew, and Kakashi closed his eyes and took a deep breath, as if in that moment the weight on his shoulders was a little less unbearable.

He stayed there for quite some time, unhurried to leave.

...

Soon, the visits to the stone and the sessions with Sakuya began to be a routine.

And Kakashi, without avoiding it, began to observe Sakuya more than he should, noticing small details that had previously gone unnoticed or he hadn't given importance to. The black bangs that fell softly over her forehead and hid part of those blue eyes. The aroma of her that he perceived when she handed him the cup of tea, the smiles she sometimes formed.

He found himself wanting to know more things about her, wanting and desiring more of her.

Even when a lock of hair fell across her face, and his hand reached out to push it back. It was an incomprehensible action, but his feelings that were beginning to be born within him for her were even more so, and he didn't want to understand.

Then she said something that froze his blood, an absolute truth, she would leave. Because she was his doctor, the therapist who accompanied him in this attempt to heal. Someone who was there to help him, and then disappear... like all the ones who once mattered to him.

And he realized, Kakashi didn't want her to disappear.

That simple truth terrified him and it hit him hard, bringing him back to the harsh reality because he couldn't allow himself to feel that way.

He didn't have to feel anything.

...

As he had warned Sakuya, he went on a mission, it was the place where he disconnected, he didn't expect Sakuya's image to burst into his mind -not when it was the place where he allowed himself not to feel anything- just at the moment he pierced a woman with the Chidori.

It wasn't her.

But even looking at the corpse, her face persisted in his head.

And it was that image, as inopportune as it was inevitable, that made him admit something he had tried to deny with all his might.

That's why that night, still with the metallic smell of blood stuck to his uniform, he went to look for her. He didn't know what he was going to tell her, only that he needed to see her, needed to know that she was still there.

When she opened, her scent so pleasant and foreign to everything he had just experienced, hit him. It was such a violent contrast that it made him hesitate. He stood there, looking at her, certain that if he took a step back, he would be lost in her forever.

"My life is made up of people who left."

An impulse dragged him towards her, before he could think, as if his body had decided for him, he brushed her pink lips, it was brief and through the mask, but it was more than a kiss, it was the silent confession of what he couldn't deny. Sakuya had gotten under his skin.

"Don't be one more."

He admitted, and almost immediately, he disappeared, assimilating what he had done. What he shouldn't have done.

The next day, he was thinking about how to address the situation, but it didn't matter what different paths he could take. Sakuya left as she had arrived, without warning or explanation...

For a moment he wanted to look for her, but the idea was quickly extinguished. Death had always surrounded him, and the few people he had loved ended up being torn from his life. He couldn't let her become another grave in his memory.

...

Time became a succession of missions, lonely nights and worn pages. His fingers tightened around the small book he carried in his pocket. Since then, he had started reading Icha Icha in public because he didn't want to think, and it also served as a wall so as not to let anyone else in this time.

In the course of three years, he would never have imagined hearing that name again... and much less that, by order of the Hokage, Sakuya would once again be his therapist.

Chapter Text

Sakura didn't know what to expect after three years of absence. The Hokage had told her about how Kakashi Hatake was doing, and as she had imagined, he had returned to the well of darkness.

Although he was now seen with the Icha Icha book in his possession, he simply wasn't doing better, which made it less understandable why he had jumped three years into the future so abruptly.

She knew time had passed - at least for him - that he was no longer the fifteen-year-old boy. But nothing had prepared her for this, and she wasn't talking about his late arrival.

It was the simple fact of seeing him. Seeing an eighteen-year-old Kakashi, when just yesterday he was fifteen.

Kakashi appeared in the office. His ANBU uniform fit a taller figure, with broader shoulders and more contained, more confident movements. The hair was still as messy, and the black mask... it was still there.

He looked at her. She swallowed. She didn't know if her heart was beating faster because of the reunion, or because of the way he had looked at her.

"Sakuya," he said in his deep, more profound voice. Feeling a rough note at the end.

"Kakashi," she replied, and her own voice sounded too low and could be considered almost childish. She felt the ground melting under her feet.

He walked towards her with calm steps. The silence between them was thick. When he was at a short distance, Sakura lowered her gaze, out of nervousness, and she knew she had made the worst mistake.

She looked at his mask.

And her memory betrayed her.

That kiss he had given her just before disappearing. Remembering it as if it had been yesterday, and literally it was. But for him...

Sakura blushed, and it didn't help that she perceived, just for a second, that Kakashi's gaze changed.

Silence again.

Kakashi lowered his gaze, and his fingers played with the edges of his gloves unhurriedly. His voice was lower the next time he spoke:

"I didn't expect you to come back."

Sakura looked at him at last, and something inside her broke.

"You look the same," Kakashi then said, interrupting her mental spiral. His tone was neutral, but there was something in the way he looked at her that was not.

Sakura forced a smile.

"You look different," she replied. He might be carrying Icha Icha in his hand, but his gaze was intense and anything but relaxed. "How have you been?" Sakura asked. "I'm your therapist again."

Sakura felt the discomfort in the air. He shrugged.

"That's what I was told," Kakashi said, and looked up at the clock. "I think the session is over."

"Huh?" Sakura articulated, surprised to see the time marked. "But you were late!" she objected in a scream. "The session starts..."

However, he disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

"...when you arrive," she finished with a sigh.

And Sakura realized that the wall she had worked so hard to tear down had been rebuilt in three years, but now it was fortified.

...

The next day, Sakura waited. At first, she thought Kakashi would just be late. Then four hours passed, and he never showed up.

She should have imagined it, after how the last session ended, but she still had faith. After all, it wasn't just therapy, it was a direct order from the Hokage. That's why, when the next session was also left empty, Sakura asked the Hokage if Kakashi was on a mission, but he informed her that he was not.

Then she tried to find him. She followed him to the training fields, caught up to him a couple of times on the streets. But the same thing always happened because as soon as their eyes met, or her voice was about to call him, Kakashi disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

Days went by and Sakura didn't receive a single word from Kakashi. She turned her gaze to the arm where the urgent warning was written: "Save Kakashi Hatake."

But how was she going to do it if Kakashi seemed to be avoiding her at all costs?

...

Then six days later. It was night and Sakura decided she couldn't keep waiting for Kakashi to deign to show up. She knew that just knocking on his door would be useless - because she had already tried it - so she opted for a more ninja-style alternative: entering his apartment through the window.

Although Sakura tried to maintain a low profile and not demonstrate all the power of her enhanced chakra, sometimes she felt the brutal need to release a little of that contained strength. She remembered the time when, after Kakashi's excessive rejections, she ended up making a hole in a tree with her fist, and right now she wanted to do the same with the door.

However, she restrained herself. She chose to enter stealthily through the window. But, a few seconds later, and despite the fact that she had mentally prepared for Kakashi's possible reaction, what happened was inevitable. He detected her.

The movement was fast, almost a whisper of wind, and in the blink of an eye, although she tried to dodge the movements, she found herself trapped. Kakashi had thrown her onto the bed, and in less than a second, immobilized her, as he was holding her arms and he was straddling her.

This whole scene was barely illuminated by the moonlight. Sakura's chest was rising and falling, and her cheeks were flushing slightly pink from the position. Meanwhile, Kakashi had activated his Sharingan.

"Sakuya?" Kakashi asked, as he looked at her with a mixture of surprise and bewilderment.

When Sakura was going to say she was there for the sessions, she stopped because although Kakashi was quick to release her and avert his gaze, she had already noticed, his reddened eyes and the moisture on his mask.

"Did you have a nightmare?" Sakura asked softly, approaching him again, but Kakashi looked at her with such intensity that it made her swallow hard, but she continued: "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," he said bitterly as Sakura could see him rubbing his hands, which she now noticed were cold as if he had been washing them minutes ago. "Go away, you shouldn't have come back."

Kakashi clenched his fists, taking part of the blankets between his fingers.

"I want to help you."

A deep sigh escaped Kakashi's chest.

"Every time I close my eyes, the faces of those I've lost come to me. They are all the ones I've failed," he confessed, and the pain could be felt in every word. "You didn't help me before, how will you help me now?"

Sakura listened in silence, feeling Kakashi's words hit her heart.

"Do you approach just to leave me again?" Kakashi asked, looking at her intently, his eyes were moist. "Is that your treatment to deal with the loss?"

"Kaka..."

"It doesn't matter," he added, shrugging. "It's better that you're far away and alive, than close and dead..." he stated, his voice becoming as cold as his hands. "Go away."

Sakura felt her chest tighten at that raw confession. She knew she had to choose her words carefully, but Kakashi's coldness was piercing her.

"I wanted to help you before and I want to now," Sakura said. "Kakashi, I understand your fear of losing the people who come into your life, but pulling away is not the solution."

"Sakuya, you were the one who left first," he said, his voice icy. Sakura tried to say something, but she didn't know what, it was true. And then Kakashi continued, "Everyone left first."

Before he could turn around, Sakura, who couldn't bear to see him shattered by her fault, grabbed his arm and pulled him towards her.

Without thinking, she hugged him, wrapping her arms around him in the hope of being the support he needed, even though she was - unintentionally - the one who hurt him first. She didn't know how to save him, but at that moment, she only knew she had to be there, if she let him go it would be worse.

As Sakura thought about what to say, she could feel Kakashi's body remained rigid for a few seconds, as if he couldn't decide whether to give in to the warmth of her embrace or continue to reject her, but soon, as if a barrier had been broken, he let out an almost inaudible sigh, and Kakashi allowed himself to sink into her embrace, the tears soon left his eyes and he found himself sobbing in her arms.

...

Dawn began to filter timidly through the curtains when Sakura, still wrapped in Kakashi's soft body warmth and the serene rhythm of his breathing, opened her eyes and as a consequence, a deep blush tinged her cheeks. Quickly, she slid carefully out of the bed, trying not to wake him, and before leaving, she left a note on the nightstand, telling him that she was waiting for him for another session.

But even though she waited, he didn't show up.

Sakura frowned at Kakashi's careless attitude. After what had happened the night before, when she had finally managed to get close to him and provide him with her support, she had expected Kakashi to show a little more commitment to the therapy sessions.

So that night she reappeared in his apartment. Sakura, angry, criticized his lack of commitment.

"I don't think I told you I would go to the session," he said in a relaxed tone, one hand holding the Icha Icha book while the other held the tea cup, which he placed on the table a second later.

Sakura crossed her arms, clearly annoyed.

"But your treat-"

"I don't want your treatment," he said firmly, interrupting her. "It's better if we keep our distance from now on."

Sakura frowned in frustration.

"Distance?" she repeated, as if the words were a wound in themselves. "Don't you understand that that's what's been destroying you all this time? Kakashi, you need to let someone support you, someone be by your side. You can't keep carrying all this suffering alone."

The silence that followed was heavy. Kakashi said nothing, but the look he gave her was piercing. Sakura could see, for a moment, that her words had touched him, but not in the way she had expected.

"And will you be the one to do it? Will you stay this time?" he said, with a voice full of skepticism.

Sakura didn't know what to say, she was sure that if she told the truth, it would only push him further away. However, lying to him and telling him to stay when she doesn't know when she'll leave didn't seem best. Seconds passed, and for him, it was an answer.

"Then, that's it..."

But right now, she wasn't going to leave.

"I'm not going," Sakura said firmly, with a spark of determination in her eyes.

Hoping that this time when she has to leave, it's because he no longer needs her.

...

She thought Kakashi would kick her out anyway, but to her surprise, he took the teapot and poured her tea in a clean cup.

"Thank you," Sakura said, sipping the tea slowly. She didn't know what to say to him. Kakashi seemed immersed in reading his Icha Icha, as if that were his barrier, his shield to not let anyone in, when the ideal thing would be a distraction to not have bad thoughts. Was it both?

However, serving her tea should mean something. Meanwhile, Sakura tried to take the tea as slowly as possible, hoping to gain some time while thinking about what she could say. Should she make a comment about the Icha Icha?

"Where did you go?" To her surprise, Kakashi was the one who broke the silence. He glanced at her before refocusing on his book. "What did you do these three years?"

Sakura tried to think quickly of an answer.

"I'm a wandering medic, so I've been everywhere," she lied. "I didn't want to leave..." and that was the absolute truth. "Not in that way... I had a personal problem."

Kakashi looked up from his book to glance at her.

"After you left, I realized I don't know much about you. The only thing I know is your name, your age, the things you like, the ones you hate... your dream and your hobbies. On the other hand, you know a lot about me."

Sakura smiled weakly.

"Well, I don't know that much about you either. For example, I don't know what's under your mask," Sakura said, trying to break the ice and ease the tension of the moment, as well as slightly divert the conversation since she feared he would ask very personal questions that she didn't know how to answer.

Kakashi looked at her sideways, without changing his posture.

"Would you like to know?" his tone was calm, but there was a suggestive tint that surprised her.

Sakura raised an eyebrow, surprised by the direct response. Immediately her cheeks flushed.

"Do you have another mask?" she asked, smiling nervously to diminish the heat in her face.

Kakashi remained thoughtful for a moment, staring into space while playing with the edge of his mask.

"Another mask? Hmmm... I don't know, why would I want to have another mask?"

Sakura crossed her arms and gave her answer.

"Well, in case someone wants to know what's under the first one," she said as if it were a smart tactic. "That way, they don't discover you so easily, right?"

Kakashi looked at her with some surprise, as if he didn't expect that answer, he brought a hand to his chin as if he was pondering what she said.

Meanwhile, Sakura looked at her teacup, now almost empty. Could she ask for more tea? She tried to think of something to say, a question to ask, but she couldn't find the words. Her eyes went back down to his mask, where Kakashi's lips were hidden.

"Why did you kiss me?" she asked, and immediately felt the heat rise to her cheeks when she realized what she had just asked. She took the last bit of tea, barely wetting her lips, while noticing that Kakashi was looking at her intently.

"I liked you..." he admitted suddenly, his voice low.

Clearly Sakura didn't expect that, she froze. The heat rose to her face again, reddening her cheeks. "I liked you." And to make it worse, the use of the past tense hit her harder than she expected.

"I liked being with you... even though I tried not to. Even though I shouldn't want you."

"Why do you always say you shouldn't?" Sakura asked, with annoyance in her voice. "You have the right to feel emotions."

Kakashi averted his gaze, as if he couldn't hold hers. His shoulders dropped slightly, and the shine in his eyes faded.

"I killed Rin."

Silence became absolute.

"She... she liked me. I knew it, even though I didn't reciprocate. Wanting someone else after what I did to her... no."

"Kakashi..." Sakura murmured softly. "You can't keep blaming yourself for what happened to Rin. It wasn't your fault."

He looked at her then, and in his eyes was reflected an open, deep wound, pulsing in every word.

"How can you say it wasn't my fault?" his voice broke, and he swallowed hard. "I pierced her chest with my Chidori, Sakuya. It was my hand... it was my jutsu. I killed her."

A shudder ran through his body. For a second, it seemed he wasn't with her in that room, but reliving that moment. What his words didn't say, his trembling hands screamed.

Sakura leaned in, and without hesitation, took his hands.

"You didn't kill her, Kakashi," she said, with a firmness that didn't falter. "You were another victim of the circumstances. Of the war. You can't carry that alone."

He pressed his lips, but didn't withdraw his hand. His cold fingers responded with a minimal, almost imperceptible pressure.

"Listen to me," Sakura insisted. "Rin made her choice, she knew what she was doing," she assured. "You didn't have a choice. You can't keep punishing yourself for it..."

Sakura squeezed his hand a little tighter, as if she wanted him to feel that she was present, that she was with him.

"And as for feeling, you have the right. Rin would want you to be happy. To stop torturing yourself over something she chose."

Kakashi closed his eyes for a second. When he opened them again, his gaze was clouded.

"Continuing to live while they are dead... is scum" he said in a rough voice. "But continuing to live and coming to lose someone else I care about..."

He stopped. He lowered his gaze, took a deep breath while his jaw tensed.

"...would be worse than scum," he concluded, without looking up.

Sakura breathed slowly, without letting go of his hand.

"You don't have to choose not to have anything out of fear of losing it all," she replied softly, but with a quiet strength that only time had given her.

A silence full of meaning formed between them. There was no immediate response, only the touch of hands that did not let go.

...

The days passed, and Sakura continued to visit Kakashi at his home, with increasing frequency. At first, he was somewhat reluctant, as if opening up was wrong, as if his vulnerability was something he had to avoid at all costs. However, little by little, he accepted her presence more naturally.

"Has it become a habit for you to come to my house?" Kakashi asked one afternoon, while serving Sakura a cup of tea.

She gave him a soft, almost teasing smile.

"That way I avoid you being late for our sessions," she replied, with a slightly playful tone.

But Sakura knew the reality was different. The visits were no longer as rigid as the formal sessions. There were no schedules or expectations anymore. Now it was more a matter of simply offering each other's company.

Little by little, Kakashi began to lower his defenses, allowing himself to open up more to her. Sakura smiled to see that the wall he had built up for so long was beginning to fall, slowly but surely. She liked being comfortable with Kakashi, enjoying his company without the barrier of formality separating them, and although she felt that the closeness between them was increasing more and more, that same closeness began to affect her heart.

...

It was another night when Sakura had stayed to keep Kakashi company in his apartment. They had spent the last few hours "talking." She was the one who talked most. But at least Kakashi was less taciturn. As they had so many times in the last few weeks. A mix of informal therapeutic session and trivial chat that had become a habit.

"How many times have you reread Icha Icha?" Sakura asked.

Kakashi didn't take his eyes off the book. He raised his hand.

"Five?" she expressed incredulously.

"More than I can count with all parts of the body."

"I'm impressed you don't get tired..." she muttered, remembering he seemed to be reading it while fighting.

"In each re-reading, you discover more things," he said in a carefree tone.

"There are many books, Kakashi."

"Yes, but this one a therapist recommended to me."

Sakura raised an eyebrow, maintaining her composure, even though his words stirred her heart.

"Uh-huh. I also recommended that you be emotionally accessible. Have you started with that yet?"

Kakashi didn't respond immediately. He turned the page calmly.

"Who did you talk to today?" she insisted. "That wasn't in a position of power over you. Someone equal to equal."

"Gai," he said at last. "He insisted on that 'power of youth' thing. It gave me a headache."

Sakura sighed.

"He started the conversation, didn't he?"

Kakashi tilted his head slightly, almost a gesture of surrender.

"I'd like you to be the one to take the first step," Sakura continued softly but without backing down. "But well... letting someone in is also a start."

This time Kakashi did look up, and their gazes remained intertwined for several seconds.

...

In other meetings, Sakura found a tired Kakashi. But unlike the previous times, this time, Kakashi closed his eyes.

She approached and saw him deeply asleep on the couch where he was reading the Icha Icha book, his head tilted to one side. She assumed he had returned from a mission, it had been complicated, and instead of returning in the morning, he came in the afternoon. Therefore, he had not had time to rest.

A wave of tenderness invaded Sakura as she saw him like this, so vulnerable and relaxed. Normally, Kakashi always seemed alert, tense, as if he were expecting an attack at any moment. But now, in the intimacy of his home, with her by his side, he allowed himself to let his guard down.

Sakura observed his closed eyelids, the way his gray hair fell over his forehead, and how his chest rose and fell in a rhythmic pattern.

However, to her surprise, she brought a hand to Kakashi's face and caressed one of his gray locks.

What did she do?

She saw her hand as if it had gone crazy, but she knew it, that warm feeling that had been installed in her chest for some time, without realizing it.

That sentence that disappeared from her arm began to be painful to see, because it meant that she was going to leave a place she was beginning to enjoy.

The revelation hit her harder than she could bear. She was stunned.

She couldn't.

She didn't belong to this time, and sooner or later she would have to return to her own. However, it was too late, she had fallen in love with this Kakashi now of the same age.

Completely overwhelmed, she left the apartment, fleeing the feelings that blossomed in her chest, and told her that she loved him.

...

Being aware of your own feelings is difficult, especially when Kakashi seemed to suspect her emotions. Every touch, every word, everything seemed to be amplified under his gaze. Maybe she was the one who was too sensitive.

"Good night, Kakashi," Sakura said, raising her hand in greeting, the farewell they always exchanged. It was a routine, something they both repeated without thinking.

But when she turned to leave, Kakashi performed the Shunshin and she heard his voice, this time lower, closer and more intimate. His serene tone brushed her ear like a soft breeze.

"Good night, Sakuya."

The sound of that name, of his lips pronouncing it with such softness, made her stop for a moment. She closed the door behind her, but the echo of his voice seemed to follow her, enveloping her in a current of emotions she couldn't undo and accompanied her all the way home.

...

Sakura knew she was no longer being as "professional" as she used to be. The atmosphere of Kakashi's apartment had changed imperceptibly, becoming more intimate and less clinical. Although she tried to address some topics, it didn't feel like she was his therapist. She couldn't be when there was an unspoken tension in the air, in the glances and touches, which she now consciously tried to avoid.

"I won't come next week," she announced firmly, though her voice sounded softer than she wanted.

Kakashi looked at her, without showing much change in his expression.

"Why?"

Sakura gave an almost imperceptible sigh, as if she were telling herself what she had to do, rather than him.

"I want you to use that time to reflect," she replied, though the words sounded hollow inside. She also needed it to reflect on her own feelings.

Kakashi slightly frowned his brow. Sakura could notice how his arms tensed, his hands deeply buried in his pockets.

"I have an early mission tomorrow, it's better if you leave," he interrupted, with his usual detached tone. The excuse was more than clear, but the words failed to disguise the discomfort in his voice.

Sakura looked at him for a moment, a twinge of pain piercing her chest for what she had caused, but she simply nodded, hoping that after a week everything would be better.

...

The days passed, Sakura did not go to Kakashi's apartment. For the first time in weeks, and not as a result of an ANBU mission the ninja had.

It was a bit desolate, even more so if Sakura worried about how he was doing, but she told herself she couldn't get close.

She saw the phrase on her arm now clearer. And she didn't know how to feel, because she wanted to go back to her time, but she didn't want to leave Kakashi like this.

When the week finally ended, she found herself in front of Kakashi's apartment door. The anxiety tightened her chest, but she knew she couldn't keep running away. That week was to realize that a week was not enough. She knocked softly, and when the door opened, after long minutes, she saw him there, his hands in his pockets, his face more serious than usual. It was not just the physical distance that separated them, it was something deeper, that could not be named.

"Hello, how have you been?" Sakura asked, trying to maintain a friendly tone as she entered, but feeling the growing pressure in her chest. "Did you reflect on anything this week? Do you want to tell me about it?"

Kakashi looked at her, without showing much change in his expression. He shrugged.

"Sometimes I don't know if I'm doing the right thing by letting you in so much into my life," he said, his eyes fixed on her.

Sakura, for a moment, stood still, not knowing what to say. Her cheeks turned a pinkish color. She hadn't expected that, and she wondered if he could see what she felt because it wasn't something she could hide, not at that moment.

The room filled with a palpable silence, with tension floating in the air. Only the sound of their ragged breathing filled the space. Sakura and Kakashi were close, too close. Their bodies were aligned, but their hearts were beating much faster than their movements.

Sakura realized that Kakashi was looking at her with a concentration that made her feel vulnerable, as if he could read every thought in her mind. And then, in the blink of an eye, she saw his gaze briefly deviate to her lips. It was just a blink, but enough to make her heart beat faster.

The world seemed to have stopped, and before she could process what had just happened, Kakashi turned slightly and offered her tea.

...

If feeling something for Kakashi made her uncomfortable, the tension in the air was worse.

But the days continued with apparent normality.

It had been almost three months, but this time when she knocked on the door, she was not greeted. After a while of waiting, she thought it was a last-minute mission, but she could see the light on.

So Sakura entered through the window.

As she entered, her ears could hear the sound of water running in the small bathroom, and then when she approached, she saw Kakashi's hands trembling slightly as he rubbed them over and over, his fingers sliding over his skin, as if the water could erase something much deeper than just dirt.

"It won't wash off," he muttered to himself, almost like a whisper, with a voice strained by tension. "It won't wash off..." he repeated, still not noticing her presence. He was in automatic mode.

Sakura, with her heart pounding hard, watched Kakashi from the doorway. She took a step, and then another, until finally, she reached the faucet and turned off the water, interrupting the constant noise. Kakashi did not react. Not at first. He was lost in his pain, his eyes fixed on the reflection of his hands. He rubbed them one more time, and the foam that formed vanished quickly, as if it didn't matter.

"It's already done, Kakashi," Sakura said in a low voice, almost afrai d to break the delicate balance that had formed between them. "You're clean."

She took a towel that was on the shelf and approached. Gently, she began to dry his hands, each movement was slow, careful, as if she feared that any roughness could break something fragile. Kakashi looked at her then. It was something different, as if he suddenly realized that she was there, in front of him, in a way he had never seen her before.

Sakura didn't stop, she continued drying his hands, her eyes fixed on his.

"You're clean, Kakashi. You're clean." Her words were soft, but with a certainty that resonated in the air.

After finishing drying his hands, she became aware of his agitated chest, the faint tears sliding down his cheeks. In the trembling of his fingers. She gently took his hand and intertwined it with hers.

Then, without thinking too much, she brought her forehead against his, barely touching.

"Breathe," she whispered. "Just that. With me."

Kakashi blinked, as if he didn't understand at first, but he didn't pull away.

"Inhale..." she murmured, as she herself took a breath. "Like that, softly... now let it out slowly..."

He didn't do it all the way, but she repeated it. After two attempts, he followed. His breathing was still irregular, but something in him loosened.

When he opened his eyes, Kakashi looked at her with those deep eyes, but now they reflected something more vulnerable.

Sakura, with her gaze fixed on his eyes, felt him squeeze her hands tighter. And in a quick movement, suddenly, Kakashi kissed her.

The mask still covered his face, but that didn't stop the intensity of the moment. His lips, through the fabric, pressed against Sakura's.

At first, Sakura remained motionless, caught by surprise. But the warmth of his lips, even through the fabric, ignited something in her chest. Her hands slowly rose to his neck, and without thinking, she responded to the kiss.

Sakura pulled away after a few seconds, both of them were breathing heavily.

"Sakuya..." he murmured, as if her own name were a plea, in his eyes, something reflected that he couldn't deny. His fingers, which had trembled before, slowly rose to her face, seeking the edge of the mask.

Sakura felt her hands become heavy as she saw Kakashi's determination to remove his mask. She wanted to see his face, but it wasn't just that. So Sakura quickly took his wrists.

"No," she said, her voice trembling. "You can't... I can't," Sakura continued, and released his wrists when she saw that Kakashi didn't fight.

Kakashi didn't insist, his hands near his mask pulled away, and he placed them in his pocket as if he had resigned himself and allowed her to let her go. He made no attempt to stop her. He looked down, as if analyzing something invisible in the space between them, as if everything that had just happened was simply another day in his life, another interaction that would end like all the others.

"Good night, Sakuya," Kakashi bid her farewell, raising his hand, and finally lifted his gaze. His eyes couldn't hide his pain.

"Good night, Kakashi," she said, not raising her hand, with the feeling of being about to break inside. She turned around and left.

...

Shortly after arriving at her apartment, the burning in her arm became present again, not on the same date as the previous time, it was days earlier. But so intense that it drew a muffled gasp from her and it was accompanied by dizziness that turned the room into a blurry whirlwind. She tried to cling to something, to keep standing, but she couldn't distinguish, and that tightness in her chest told her that the jump was inevitable.

"No... no..." she pleaded, breathlessly.

Before waking up in the Hokage's office, in a new time, but not hers as Hiruzen clarified. And on her left arm, the cursed letters were still written as sharply and cruelly:

"Save Kakashi Hatake"

This time, fate was sending her to "save" a twenty year old Kakashi.

Chapter Text

When Kakashi heard that he was getting a therapist again, he thought it was a bad joke. He hadn't had anyone since Sakuya left.

He thought no one else would try to delve into his inner self.

"Do you remember Sakuya?" the Hokage asked.

Kakashi wanted to say no. That he didn't remember anything about her. But her memory was like a scar, it didn't hurt, but it was still there.

"A little," he finally replied.

Because Sakuya still appeared in his mind, although he wished that with time, she would stop doing so.

"She's back," he announced. "She'll be your therapist again."

Kakashi nodded as if he accepted the news. But the last thing he wanted was to see her again.

Someone he let in.

Someone who left.

...

Only a few minutes passed in that office where Sakuya was, before she decided to disappear in a puff of smoke and appear on the roof of a house.

Sakuya.

He hadn't uttered that name in three years. Not out loud, at least.

It was unbearable to see her again, she had the same voice, the same gaze as if only a day had passed, and not three years, since the kiss, since the last time he dared to open his heart.

And he didn't want to, and he wasn't going to go back to that.

Six days passed, and Kakashi did not attend any of the following sessions.

...

Kakashi woke up with a start, his body drenched in cold sweat. The accelerated sound of his breathing was the only thing filling the silent room. He saw his hands, they were trembling, and they were covered in blood. Rin's blood, after piercing her chest with the Chidori.

The pounding in his ears was deafening, as his eyes searched intently for a point on the wall, trying to anchor his mind to reality because his hands were not stained, it was a nightmare.

But the smell of blood persisted, as if the nightmare had not stayed only in his mind, and when he looked down and saw his hands, they were still red.

Therefore, Kakashi quickly went to the bathroom trying to eliminate something that was not really there, but no matter how much he scrubbed, it did not come off. His eyes crystallized without being able to avoid it as the tears fell.

He would have been that way for part of the night, if he hadn't perceived someone else in his house.

He didn't expect it to be Sakuya. Kakashi was on top of her, while holding her hands that were no longer stained.

He wanted to push her away, to leave first this time. However, Sakuya did not let him.

She hugged him.

At first, the hug was just warmth.

A soft, enveloping pressure, which felt more like a trap than comfort. His body, trained for years to react to danger, remained rigid, almost frozen. His mind screamed at him to move away, not to give in, not to trust. Because Kakashi Hatake knew what came after affection: loss.

But something was different this time.

There were no empty words in Sakuya's gesture. No hasty promises or apologies. Just her arms, enveloping him.

And then, an imperceptible crack.

An imperceptible crack at first, in that fortress he had built stone by stone since he was a child. Each stone was a death, a farewell. But now, with every second that passed in those arms, he only wanted to let her in his space.

The mask on his face began to get wet, again. He didn't even notice when his fists stopped clenching the sheets and began to tremble, and soon he allowed himself to collapse in her presence.

And in the deepest part of that moment, he felt something that disconcerted him as the tears left his eyes and he sobbed softly: relief.

Not because the pain disappeared. But because he wasn't carrying it alone.

...

Kakashi woke up with the light of dawn filtering through the curtains. He still hadn't opened his eyes, but he knew instantly that he hadn't been alone.

The other side of the bed was warm, and her scent remained on his sheets. He opened his eyes slowly, and for a moment, he imagined her still there, asleep, with her head on his shoulder and her calm breathing. But the empty side of the bed was a brutal confirmation.

She had left. Again.

And yet, this time... she had left him a note.

"I'll wait for you for the next session."

He read it only once. Then he laid it face down on the table.

He didn't go, and not because he didn't want to. On the contrary, he wanted to too much, and he couldn't afford to repeat that story. Let her in, feel something akin to peace again. Because when she left again - and he was sure she would - it would be worse.

So he didn't go, he wasn't going to open up to her again. Icha Icha's company was enough for Kakashi.

However, when night fell... she came back.

Of course she came back.

Sakuya was angry. But she didn't understand what he was feeling. She didn't understand that approaching her was not like approaching anyone else. It was exposing and giving her his heart to do as she pleases.

And he wouldn't do it again for someone who wasn't going to stay, but those words echoed in him.

"I'm not leaving."

And for a moment, the world seemed suspended. Because although his mind does not believe that she will stay forever, his heart wanted to believe.

...

So after a while, Kakashi closed his eyes for a moment while holding the hot teapot. The steam reached his mask, and for a second he imagined that his defenses were also melting. That hug the night before had been a mistake. He had felt his heart - that muscle he had sworn to keep asleep - beat with a strength he hadn't experienced in years.

Why did she come back? Why now? And how long will it last this time?

"Here you go," he finally said, in a neutral voice.

She nodded, thanking him. Silence settled between the two. A mixture of discomfort and everything they weren't saying.

Kakashi lowered his gaze to his cup. He didn't drink. His eyes turned to his Icha Icha book as he tried to read.

"Don't look at her. Don't ask anything," he thought.

But he couldn't help but glance at her out of the corner of his eye and couldn't help but ask to know what had become of her all those years.

...

The teapot was still on the table.

The steam had dissipated hours ago, but Kakashi hadn't moved. He was sitting, the Icha Icha book was closed, he didn't feel like reading.

Kakashi closed his eyes for a moment. He felt the invisible weight of the guilt that always accompanied him, the one that settled in his chest. But today... something was different. It was still there, yes, but it no longer pressed so hard.

"You don't have to choose to have nothing out of fear of losing everything."

That phrase had pierced him with more force than he expected. His gaze fell on his own hands, no longer cold, without blood. They were warm, his hands still remembered the warmth of hers.

He opened his eyes slowly and let out a long, silent sigh.

"I liked you..."

The words he had said kept spinning in his mind. But now he wasn't so sure it was true, it was just easier, safer as a protection. Because when Sakuya entered that night, and their eyes met, he felt an emotion he thought was dead.

...

At first, Kakashi didn't understand why she kept coming.

No. That wasn't it.

He didn't understand, because he kept letting her in, and every day it was a little more, he even served her tea even before she arrived.

She knocked on his door as if it were normal. She sat in his living room as if she had always belonged there. She laughed halfheartedly. They drank tea, talked, read.

"Has it become a habit for you to come to my house?" he asked, without looking at her.

She answered lightly.

"That way I avoid you being late for our sessions."

Kakashi hated himself a little for anticipating her visits. For listening to the footsteps behind the door, for looking at the clock.

Sakuya brought calm, yes. But she also disordered him inside.

Her voice, her presence, the conversation, in each "good night". The way her eyes sometimes lingered on him as if they saw more than he wanted to show.

And yet... he couldn't push her away. On the contrary, they got closer. Because when she smiled, even if just for a moment, he felt that not everything was broken.

It was just a matter of time before he lowered his defenses. So one night he fell asleep in her presence, he was exhausted, but that was no excuse to let his guard down.

Waking up without knowing when he lost control. Knowing that he had let his guard down, that his body finally gave in. And even more: that she had seen him like that.

...

Then came the announcement: "I won't come next week."

It was as if something closed in his chest. He heard her, nodded, Kakashi said he had a mission.

As if he cared about arriving on time. He didn't care about arriving on time. The only thing he wanted to achieve was to flee before she did.

...

During that week, Kakashi understood many things, the apartment was emptier than normal, the silence felt colder, and Icha Icha no longer managed to distract him as much as before.

He waited for her. Every day.

She didn't come.

And then he felt the cruel truth: he had gotten used to her.

...

When she finally knocked on the door, Kakashi knew he had to pretend that everything was fine, that it wasn't noticeable that he had waited for her every night.

But Sakuya arrived casual as if he were the only one agonizing.

And he responded with a dangerous truth.

"Sometimes I don't know if I'm doing the right thing by letting you in so much in my life."

It was the most honest thing he had said in weeks. Because every step she took towards him was a part of himself that he had to tear down. And he didn't know if anything of him would be left in the end.

Then that moment came. The invisible tension, the gazes paused in time. The fleeting blink in which his gaze fell on her lips. And the impulse, that desire that ate him from the inside.

But no.

He moved away, because he felt that if he kissed her, there would be no turning back.

So he offered him tea. As if nothing had happened.

Because if he said nothing, maybe she wouldn't either.

...

That night, Kakashi had lost track of time. He didn't know how long he had been under the water, scrubbing his hands as if he could erase the blood that wasn't there. It was as if, at times, the past didn't know how to stay in its place, pulsing in his skin.

"It won't come off," he murmured, several times. In each attempt to erase, but no, and it didn't erase.

His chest began to rise and fall. His breathing began to accelerate, while he was overwhelmed because it didn't disappear.

And then, without warning, Sakuya was by his side.

She turned off the water.

Her hands touched him.

Her presence did not surprise him. Not really. Perhaps because, deep down, a part of him always waited for her. Even when he said he didn't want her near. Even when he pretended her absence didn't affect him.

Her touch was so soft that it disarmed him more than any blow.

He said nothing as she dried his hands with a delicacy he didn't deserve. He just watched her, his mind still trapped in some dark corner he couldn't quite illuminate.

"You're clean, Kakashi."

Her words broke a deeper layer. One that he didn't even know was still there.

"Breathe. Just that. With me."

Every single one of her words.

Then he looked at her. He really looked at her.

Then it happened, and his body moved before his reason.

He kissed her.

With urgency, with the desperation of someone who clings to the only thing that still seems real. He didn't know exactly what he was looking for, but he needed it, even if it was with the mask on and it only lasted a second.

When Sakuya responded, Kakashi felt hope, that old emotion he avoided, because it was always followed by loss.

But this time... maybe not.

She didn't stop him. Until she pulled away.

"No."

That word felt like a kunai straight to the chest. Just as he was about to take off his mask, believing that maybe at last there was something more, she held his wrists.

"I can't... you can't," she told him.

And her voice was like a slamming door. As if she was closing the door that had cost him so much to open.

Kakashi lowered his hands. He didn't say anything, he stood still. Because to move, to stop her, to call her by her name... would have been too much.

"Good night, Sakuya," he said, his voice firm, trained, neutral. As if it hadn't hurt him.

...

That night, Kakashi didn't sleep.

To self-recriminate, to think about that night and think about what he could have done differently. The Icha Icha couldn't drown out his guilt.

He just stayed there, in the dark light, feeling that he had ruined it. That maybe he shouldn't have kissed her. That he shouldn't have allowed himself to feel anything from the beginning.

And then, morning came with the same heaviness of difficult days. He didn't know if he wanted to see her again. He didn't know what he would say if she came back.

But she didn't come back.

Not that day, nor the next.

And then he understood the reason why she didn't want him to take off his mask. Because, although she said she wouldn't leave, she never planned to stay.

Chapter Text

Sakura didn't understand the logic behind these time jumps. Even worse, the mission itself seemed increasingly vague and uncertain. How could she be close to "saving him" if she didn't even know how all this worked? Every time she disappeared, it was so abruptly that she couldn't help but feel she was doing the opposite of saving him.

She tried to find answers with the Hokage, but he was unaware of how this worked, although he tried to help her as much as he could, this was out of his hands.

"Was there any common trigger before the time jumps occurred?" the Hokage asked, trying to help her.

At that moment, the kisses she had shared with Kakashi came to Sakura's mind, and her cheeks involuntarily flushed.

"...no," she replied, feeling the sweat run down her temple. While repeating in her mind that that couldn't be the trigger.

...

However, Sakura wasn't going to check it either.

Because her plan after being wrapped up was to stay on the sidelines. (Regardless of what was written on her left arm)

She hadn't told Kakashi that she had come back, and she wasn't going to. The Hokage wouldn't do it either.

Not this time. Not after what had happened between them, of getting closer and then moving away in the worst possible way.

However, Sakura hadn't quite moved away. From her hidden spot, for weeks, Sakura had closely observed Kakashi's interactions with his teammates.

She had noticed that despite his tendency to isolate himself, he was not alone. He maintained a friendly and rivalrous relationship with Gai, and he also had the support of Asuma and Kurenai.

They didn't let him be alone, and that was a relief for Sakura.

One afternoon, while observing Kakashi and Gai, the latter was talking animatedly to him. Suddenly, Kakashi disappeared in his characteristic way, leaving behind only a trail of smoke.

Puzzled, Sakura quickly turned her head, searching in all directions... but she didn't have to wait long.

Kakashi appeared right next to her, without warning.

The surprise made her lose her balance, but before she could react, a firm hand held her by the waist, pulling her closer to him.

The proximity made her heart beat rapidly, but she remained motionless, surprised.

Kakashi, with his calm tone and that characteristic serenity that always surrounded him, looked at her intently.

"We meet again... Sakuya," he said, his voice calm.

Then, in a whisper, he added:

"Why have you been observing me for weeks?"

...

Sakura swallowed, feeling the pressure of the moment, of his closeness, of the touch of his hand on her waist. How should she respond? What should she say? A flood of emotions was overwhelming her chest, but she forced herself to remain calm.

Even so, the silence between them lingered, heavy. She could feel the intensity of his presence, of his gaze, as if he were analyzing her with every breath. Kakashi, on the other hand, did not move, but his gaze became even more penetrating.

"Do you want to know how I'm doing before becoming my therapist again?"

"I... I'm not going to be your therapist," she said more confidently. She was tired of it, of pretending she could fix him when she felt part of her was breaking him even more.

"Then... what do you want, Sakuya?" he asked. "Why do you lurk around me?"

"To know how you were doing..." She struggled to find the right words. "I was just worried."

"Not enough, it seems," Kakashi's voice cut through the silence, his fingers pressing more firmly on her lower back. "You always end up leaving, Sakuya. Without saying anything."

"It's... it's complicated, Kakashi."

He observed her, but there was something different in his gaze, it was more intense.

"Complicated," Kakashi repeated, as if savoring the word. He brought his face closer to hers, and although his tone remained calm, the atmosphere was charged with a palpable tension. "Do you really believe that? You're the one who makes it complicated. What do you want from me? Every time I think I've forgotten you, you come back."

A slight sigh escaped Kakashi's lips. His hand still rested on her waist, and that closeness only increased the confusion in Sakura's heart.

"Why do you do it?" Kakashi asked, his eyes still fixed on hers, but now with a vulnerability that Sakura hadn't expected.

For a moment, the world around them seemed to stand still. The wind stopped blowing, the distant murmurs of the village faded away. Only the two of them remained, trapped in a space that, although physical, also seemed emotional.

Sakura opened her mouth to respond, but the words got stuck in her throat. Why did she do it? Why did she always come back to him, to this tug-of-war, to this coming and going through time?

"I don't know..." she whispered finally, her tone so low that it almost got lost in the wind. "I can't help it," she declared more firmly, not knowing what the words written on her arm wanted.

She had to save him, but being dragged, she didn't feel like she was making progress. What did she have to do?

"I don't know why I keep coming back to you!"

Kakashi observed her in silence, as if trying to understand every word, every small change in her expression. The distance between them had been reduced so much that Sakura could feel Kakashi's heartbeat, his very breath.

"I do," he said, without hesitation. "I know why I keep coming back to you."

The air became dense, almost unbreathable.

Kakashi's fingers trembled slightly on her waist. The warmth of his breath brushed her skin. It was as if the air itself was pushing them to come together. And without Sakura expecting it, Kakashi lowered his mask. She didn't have time to contemplate his face, as his lips quickly joined hers, soft and slow at first, but at the same time charged with an emotional urgency that made everything else disappear.

Trembling, Sakura responded with the same softness, but soon the kiss intensified. Kakashi's hands took her more firmly, guiding her unhurriedly, exploring every corner of her mouth.

She didn't know how long they were like that, but suddenly, Gai's cries searching for the Copy Ninja were heard.

"There you are..." Gai began to say.

Kakashi pulled up his mask and jumped down from the tree. Sakura didn't stay to hear the conversation.

...

Sakura brought the tips of her fingers to her lips. Kakashi had kissed her.

Her eyes widened when her mind realized what it meant. What it should mean. She quickly got down from the tree to get away from there as fast as possible.

However, Sakura had barely taken a few steps, still with her lips trembling from what had just happened, when a current of cold air forced her to stop abruptly.

A shiver ran down her spine, chilling her skin. Sakura could feel his chakra behind her, that presence of his that always seemed too close even without touching her.

Then, his voice.

"Where are you going?" he asked. His tone was low, but charged with something deeper. "Are you going to disappear again?"

"No... no," Sakura murmured, almost wishing it were true.

"That's what you said before."

His voice was not harsh, but it hurt for what it implied.

In that, she wanted to look at her arm, to know if she had to leave. However, she couldn't lift the sleeve in front of him. Her fingers trembled, she clung to the left forearm, hidden under the fabric. She squeezed it tightly, as if by doing so she could control her destiny.

"I... we'll talk later. I have to go," she finally said, but her voice was barely a whisper.

Kakashi didn't respond right away. He took a step, and then another until he was so close that his breath caressed her neck.

Then, he lowered his head. He didn't touch her, but his nose approached close enough to perceive her scent, as if he wanted to memorize it.

"We'll see each other again," he whispered, with a disconcerting certainty.

And he disappeared.

Sakura was paralyzed.

Only when he was gone did she dare to slowly lift the sleeve.

Nothing.

The message was still there, there were no blurred letters, it was not fading. But above all, the kiss did not seem to be the trigger.

This time... she was staying.

...

Sakura should have guessed that Kakashi wouldn't leave her like this, not after their last encounter. But finding him standing at the door of her apartment took her by surprise.

He entered with a natural calm, as if that place were his own. Sakura had no will to stop him.

"Would you like some tea?" she offered, trying to sound casual, although in her interior she was remembering the kiss.

And so it began. This time, it was Kakashi who visited her in her space, watching her out of the corner of his eye as she did whatever, while he leafed through his book.

"You don't have to be so tense," he said in his calm voice, laden with a familiarity that Sakura found hard to ignore.

"I'm not!" she replied, a little louder than she intended.

Kakashi's eyes narrowed in an amused expression. He had probably already noticed that she had cleaned that shelf five times in a row.

"Of course..."

Sakura lowered her gaze, trying to hide her emotions, but inadvertently, her gaze settled on the mask that still covered part of Kakashi's face.

He noticed her gaze and, with that characteristic calm that always surrounded him, asked:

"Do you want to see what's under the mask?"

She swallowed. The last time it had been so fast that she didn't have time to really see his face.

Kakashi slowly brought his fingers to the edge of the mask. Sakura wanted to stop him, she wanted to say something, but no words came out of her lips.

With a careful and unhurried gesture, he lowered the mask and let Sakura see what was underneath... Her eyes widened in surprise.

"There's another mask!" Sakura exclaimed, with a more frustrated tone than she would have liked to admit. "Kakashi!"

His eyes smiled.

...

Their encounters began to become a routine. He would sit and read, and Sakura would have her tea, or clean something that was already clean, while trying to make conversation because she couldn't stand the silences.

At some point, Sakura felt like a mouse, and Kakashi was the cat.

The way he looked at her, the way his fingers brushed against hers, the proximity, the inclination.

Every night he arrived at her apartment, and as she waited, she realized that she missed him in the midst of the delay while she heard excuses that he had gotten lost on the path of life.

She was lost. She didn't know what to do with him.

She didn't know what to do to save him.

...

Sakura sat in front of him, as on so many other nights. Kakashi was leafing through the orange book, apparently relaxed.

"Have you ever thought about leaving ANBU?" she asked. "Wouldn't you like to do something else?"

"No," he replied, without looking up. "I don't want to either."

Sakura was silent for a moment. Thinking of suggesting to him if he wouldn't like to be a teacher, but those words got stuck in her mouth when Kakashi spoke to her.

"When I'm in ANBU, there's no past," he declared. "I have no need to be anything else."

"But that can also be achieved with another identity," she suggested. "That identity could help you on covert missions, or simply... to go unnoticed, without revealing who you really are."

Kakashi looked at her sideways, as if evaluating the idea.

"And what would I do?"

"Anything," she replied, with a barely sketched smile. "You could be a painter."

He shrugged.

"I'm not very good at drawing."

"Then... a merchant or a photographer," she suggested softly. "Don't think of ANBU as the only option to lose yourself."

...

Sakuya didn't expect it. It was too abrupt, for a second she thought she was seeing wrong, but no matter how much she blinked, that image wouldn't go away.

Her cheeks flushed at the beautiful sight her green eyes were observing, unable to move, from the impact caused by seeing Kakashi's lips uncovered as he drank tea.

An action, simple, but one she had never managed to glimpse, and now she did.

He, as if not noticing the weight of that moment, drank calmly, unaware of the effect he was having on her.

"Y-Your mask..." she murmured, almost without thinking.

Kakashi looked up, without taking his eyes off the cup.

"You've already seen my face."

"Yes... but I hadn't seen it well."

Now she did. Now she had him in front of her. His lips were thin, his mole was in a place that made him very sexy. Sakura averted her gaze for just a second, but her eyes returned on their own as if they couldn't help it.

Fortunately, when he finished drinking, Kakashi casually pulled his mask back up. As if he didn't know - or did know - what he was provoking in her.

A silence settled between them. One of those that don't bother, but weigh. Kakashi was leafing through his book, sitting a few steps away. Sakura couldn't stop glancing at him out of the corner of her eye.

Her fingers tightened around her cup. Her heart was beating too fast.

...

The other visits only increased that attraction, with touches and glances.

Sakura had no intention of crossing the line further, but the weeks passed, and she couldn't find any logic to the time jumps.

It wasn't because of the kiss. What was it, then?

Almost three months, was it the time? She was close to two months, and it was true that the mark was blurry but not enough.

"Are you leaving in a month?" That question surprised her. He had also done the math on how much longer or less he would be with her.

"Probably..."

There were no more words, only that silence, eyes fixed on each other. Sakura saw how he clenched his fists and then relaxed them.

Kakashi took a step forward. She didn't move.

"I'd like you to say it..." he whispered.

"What thing..."

"That you won't leave, and that you'll keep your word."

But Sakura said nothing. Kakashi lowered his mask, and she saw the splendor of his face again.

"That you like being with me," he added, "as much as I like being with you."

"I... " Sakura averted her gaze, she couldn't bear the way he looked at her with a warmth and love that captivated her.

And then, he approached without further words, as if the inevitable needed no permission.

His lips brushed hers with a softness that surprised her. There was no hurry, no urgency. Just a trembling contact.

Sakura didn't pull away.

She felt the warmth of his breath, the firm but sweet pressure of his lips, the slight trembling in Kakashi's fingers as they brushed her cheek. She closed her eyes and surrendered to the moment, letting all the weight of time, doubt and desire fall into that kiss.

He kissed her with so much affection and devotion that she simply let herself be carried away.

...

Sakura felt that everything was slipping from her hands as that kiss became deeper and deeper, there was no calm, it was need.

"Stay," he whispered against her mouth.

He held her firmly. His fingers tangled in her waist as if he feared that if he let her go, she would evaporate into smoke.

It was just one word, but Sakura felt it pierce her chest. Her legs trembled, her stomach contracted, and a scorching heat rose up her throat.

It was not a request, it was a plea.

She should have pushed him away, remembered that she would be his teacher in the future, that she didn't belong in that time, that she would destroy him more because, in the end, she could never stay.

However, she couldn't.

Sakura's heart was pounding as Kakashi kissed her with a passion that made her shudder. His lips moved over hers now with a contained desperation, as if he desperately needed her touch.

He slid his hands down her back, pulling her closer. She responded by entwining her fingers in his silver hair, pulling him towards her, seeking more.

Sakura perceived in her body as if the whole world had been reduced to the heat of her own nerves, to the touch of his lips against lips, to the weight of desire running down her spine.

Kakashi kissed her as if it were the first time, but also as if he feared it might be the last. Sakura felt it in the way his lips moved as if he was trying to mark her, in every caress, slight pressure and touch of his tongue.

The tension between them increased with every passing second, their caresses and kisses becoming more and more urgent. Sakura could feel the heat of his skin through the fabric.

"You don't know what you do to me," he murmured against her lips, his voice hoarse and laden with desire.

Sakura's cheeks were flushed from the intense kiss, with Kakashi's tongue brushing against hers, claiming, begging, desiring... all at the same time.

The woman looked into his eyes for a moment, and the intensity she found there left her breathless. He was not the relaxed sensei of the future. Nor the bloodthirsty ANBU soldier. He was a man stripped of defenses, lost in her.

And she, who should have pulled away before the situation escalated further, got lost in him.

...

Sakura got lost in Kakashi's eyes, those eyes that now looked at her with a vulnerability that squeezed her heart. She knew she should pull away, that she couldn't let this go any further, but she was unable to do so.

Her body seemed to have a will of its own, responding to the heat and need emanating from Kakashi. Her hands clung to him, pulling him closer, yearning for his touch.

For a moment, she forgot everything else, the time, her mission, the consequences. Only Kakashi and the way he looked at her existed, as if she were the only thing that mattered.

That same one who lowered his head to her neck, inhaling her scent, and the touch of his lips on her skin drew out a sigh she couldn't contain. There was no hurry, nor clumsiness. Only that intense tranquility with which he seemed to memorize her, as if he were engraving every reaction, every tremor, every part of her that responded to his touch.

Then, without saying anything, Kakashi shed his ANBU vest. His fingers slid to the clasps with naturalness, and it fell softly to the floor, revealing the dark fabric that still covered his torso.

Sakura held her breath. Her fingers longed to roam that marked body, to feel the heat of his skin under her hands.

She looked at him without moving, her heart racing, her lips still slightly parted from the labored breathing. She knew what was happening, what was about to come. And yet, it did not feel like a loss of control, but like a choice.

The vest on the floor seemed more than a garment. It was armor left behind.

He approached her again, this time more slowly, without taking his eyes off her. One of his hands brushed her cheek, and Sakura inclined her face towards his caress as if it were the only thing she needed.

...

A few seconds later, Sakura caressed that torso only covered by the black fabric, unable to resist the impulse, it was she herself who went to the edge of the fabric and took it off.

Therefore, soon Kakashi's meticulous fingers went to her coat to remove it, then when Sakura's coat fell, she realized that underneath the other garment, the phrase: "Save Kakashi Hatake" would be tattooed on her arm.

That's why, when the ninja made a move to take it off, she quickly wrapped her legs around his waist.

"Turn off the light," she asked.

Kakashi did not respond with words. He just nodded and then lifted her effortlessly. With his nose resting on her neck, he carried her to the woman's bedroom.

And then, without taking her off his body, he stretched out his arm and turned off the light, then laid her on the bed.

...

In the darkness, the caresses felt more vivid, the senses sharpened. Kakashi did not activate his Sharingan, it was pure instinct, guided by sounds, by voices.

The clothes gradually disappeared, and their bodies were uncovered with a mixture of contained desire and overflowing emotion. It was not just about touching each other: it was about exploring, recognizing each other.

Sakura felt her skin ignite under his caresses, and even more when Kakashi leaned over her naked chest and brushed it with his lips. It was so soft that it seemed more like breaths than kisses.

Her body reacted with a mixture of blush and hunger. She felt how her nipples tensed at the contact, and how her lower abdomen throbbed with an urgency that was completely new to her. He noticed it, he read it. His hand descended slowly, firm but attentive, until it slid down her hip and caressed the inside of her thigh with a tenderness that contrasted with the tension that began to grow between them.

Sakura surrendered completely to the sensations that Kakashi awakened in her, her body responding to every caress, to every kiss.

Moans and gasps of pleasure filled the air, the erotic tension between them palpable.

Sakura trembled, but not from cold. She felt her skin tingling as Kakashi's lips roamed hers slowly, with a dedication she did not expect. He did not rush her. He was not impulsive or rough. He kissed her as if he wanted to make sure he would not forget the taste of her mouth, or the exact way her body reacted to the touch in every area where there was skin.

His hands traveled with confidence, sliding along her waist, her ribs, her back. Each movement was measured, as if he knew exactly how and where to touch her. And he did. Her body responded to him instinctively, guided by the certainty that she was in good hands.

How could he be so good at this...?

The question hit her hard as her fingers clung to Kakashi's shoulders. There were no hesitations in his caresses, not a single insecure gesture. He was delicate, yes, but precise. He took care of her, he read her. He knew her.

Did Icha Icha teach him this?

The idea made her blush even more. She had seen him with that book countless times. But now, as she felt his lips descending down her neck and his hand sliding over her intimacy until it found her sensitive spots, she couldn't help but wonder if he had learned something more from them than just indecent stories.

In every touch, there was nothing vulgar. There was no haste, nor frenzy. Only absolute dedication.

"Kakashi..."

She also wanted to reciprocate, to give him back that same devotion. Breathless, she slid her hand until she brushed the hard outline of his erection, still trapped under the fabric of his pants. The sensation made her shudder, and when she noticed the muffled moan he let escape against her neck, she knew she was bringing him to the same limit she was on.

Sakura held her breath when she felt him tremble under her touch. The fabric of the pants was barely a barrier, and each caress made the hardness under her fingers more evident, more impossible to ignore. Her cheeks burned, but she didn't pull her hand away; on the contrary, she pressed it more decisively, letting her caresses be slow, firm, learning the rhythm that made Kakashi vibrate.

"Sakuya..." he murmured her name, between a sigh and a plea.

Sakura did not respond with words. Her fingers sought a way to free what the fabric was hiding, and when she finally caressed him without barriers, the gasp that escaped him was so deep that it ran through her entire body, like an echo in her own.

Kakashi did not let her continue, he took her by the waist with trembling but firm hands, lifting her slightly against him, and then his mouth caught hers in a kiss laden with hunger while he began to clear her of the remaining clothes, and he finished making his pants disappear.

When the clothes of both were scattered on the floor, Sakura received him without reservations, felt the firm and hard heat of his cock brush the entrance of her intimacy, and although her body tensed, it was more because of the intensity of the moment than fear.

Kakashi brushed her entrance with the tip, without pushing in completely. Sakura felt him vibrate over her, restraining himself, breathing with difficulty. His breath burned against her neck.

"Don't go," he whispered.

Sakura kissed him again, without answering. And Kakashi, who corresponded with passion, seconds later, entered her, doing so with a torturous slowness.

"You're so tight, Sakuya..."

Sakura clung to his back, stifling a moan against his shoulder. The way he leaned on her, how he clung to her hand... it was more than pleasure, she wanted him, she wanted him...

Their bodies aligned with an almost painful ease, and soon, he penetrated her with his hardness, and she trembled to feel him, her hips moving by instinct, seeking, guiding, demanding.

"Stay," over and over again. "Stay with me, Sakuya."

His hoarse voice was barely a whisper, but Sakura felt it like an electric shock that ran through her body. Her stomach contracted, her chest tightened, and the urgency to melt into him left her breathless.

The kunoichi held her breath. She had heard it clearly. His voice did not tremble, but there was something in it that weighed more than any caress. As if that word was more exposed than the rest of what they were sharing.

She caressed his face, feeling his skin under her fingertips, knowing that what she was touching at that moment was not her former teacher. Not the infallible ninja. But a man who, at that moment, was completely open to her.

She caressed him carefully, without responding. She leaned towards him and kissed him as if that were enough while Sakura rocked and Kakashi's hip movements became more and more forceful.

Kakashi began to move, with precision, with contained strength. His shinobi control was trembling, broken by desire. Each thrust was deep, delicious. The moans of both filled the room.

"Sakuya..." Kakashi whispered, between a brush of lips and another. His hoarse, contained voice trembled as he pronounced it.

Sakura's hands clung to his back, her legs closed tighter around his waist, and her body trembled.

"Kakashi..." she whispered, her voice trembling.

Sakura felt something inside her beginning to grow, slow and certain, like a current that couldn't be stopped. Her legs tensed around him, her nails sank slightly into his back.

He said nothing, but held her more tightly.

And then she felt it.

Pleasure tore her apart from within, an intense wave that arched her against him with force. Her body vibrated, panting and uncontrolled. She pressed him against her, as if her skin could melt with his. Kakashi moaned that name between his teeth against her neck.

"Sakuya"

That one to which he had somehow become accustomed, as he sank deeper.

Still entwined, their sweaty and agitated bodies, Kakashi did not pull away. He remained inside her, his lips slowly caressing her neck, as if he feared her skin would start to fade if he stopped touching her. Sakura said nothing, but her fingers caressed his nape, in an unconscious back-and-forth.

The hoarseness of his voice, his labored breathing, the tremor in his hands as he held her tighter, everything was etched in her.

And after exploring different positions, she heard him murmur, exhausted and vulnerable...

I love you.

The reality check was as brutal as the pleasure that still throbbed in her being.

...

Sakura couldn't believe what she had just done. She had done it several times, and yet... it didn't seem real. Kakashi's naked body was still there, lying on the bed, and her face reddened even more as she faced the reality of what they had shared.

But more than that, it was his confession of love.

Was this how she was supposed to save him? By surrendering to him in that way?

She began to get dressed, not knowing how she would face what was to come, and she knew that allowing everything to reach that point made it even worse. She wasn't going to stay. It wasn't her time.

Shortly after finishing dressing, a burning began to emerge on her skin, exactly on her left arm.

She already knew what that meant, so she took one last look at Kakashi, who was sleeping peacefully, and felt her heart being squeezed.

Then, when she opened her eyes again, she found out that two years had passed. She had abandoned Kakashi for two more years.

Guilt and anguish flooded her. Instead of saving him, she felt that with each time jump, she was destroying him.