Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

After Solar comforted Sun a bit and decided to go look for Moon, Sun decided to go and take a walk out.

He didn’t actually know where to go.

He just wanted to stay away from that house, his siblings and..just- everyone.

He loved them all, sure thing, but- he felt like..like a monster for killing his beloved brother..

To just blow him up like that..

But he didn’t have a choice!

No..he did.

He had a choice.

Kill Moon, the brother he knew for the longest but who used to hurt him, lie to him, treat him like he was a test subject..he just blamed his incompetence of talking about emotions due to him not knowing how to do ‘emotional talks’.. but he couldn’t blame him..

Or..

Kill New Moon Nexus, the brother who came after, but still gave him support, help him emotionally, who always showed his love, who actually cared for him. He did, he was sure. Or he didn’t..? Maybe he never did..but he was a way better brother than Moon.

Moon just made him feel bad and guilty. New Moon Nexus just was better. But..

Was.

He..was..

Now. Now..? Now Moon Nexus turned to the other side of the coin. He just snapped. He wanted now power. He wanted to be his own person. He hurt his family. He was like this now.

But it was all Sun’s fault..was it?

That’s what he said..

Sun made him just a tool..he couldn’t move on from Moon, so he never let him be his own person.

He had to be better than Moon..but had he really had to..?

He was right.

It was Sun’s fault.

He made him feel that way.

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Why did you do this?!

You killed your own brother! How could you?

You are such a monster.

What now? Are you going on a killing spree of every sibling you have?

Will you just forget him like this? No. You won’t, you can’t.

He’s still your brother, Sun.

Maybe- maybe you should follow him, in hell.

You are just as bad as he is was.

You are no better than him.

“But- w-what about..Moon..? Or Solar..or Earh..or- or perhaps even Dazzle! Lunar.. what about them?! They’d never forgive me! I can’t just..leave them. They need me! They d-“

“Do they?” A voice came from behind Sun.

He actually went on autopilot for a bit..wait.

Where was he?

He said to Lunar that he went on a walk.

Where did he go..?

..

Oh.

He was back..home.

He was in his old house.

The one he initially had with..Nexus.

He didn’t realized that he was staring for a long time at that familiar house.

As he turned around, to the sea, he saw him.

He saw Nexus.

No..

That was..

That was Moon..

His sweet Moon..

His Moon that would’ve comfort him when he started hallucinating BloodMoon.

His Moon that had done so much for him..

He loved him so much..

“Do they actually care about you, or are they just pretending.?” He softly spoke.

“W-what..? What d-do you mean b-by that..?” Sun muttered out. He couldn’t keep some sobs that escaped his voice box.

“I mean- do they actually love you? You siblings. Do they?”

No..

He didn’t know.

Maybe he was right?

“You are just a burden to them. They just think you are a bloodthirsty monster who will soon go on a killing spree, and finish off them all.”

Sun was shocked.

Was Moon right?

What if he actually was..

Did they even care about him?

Well..

Moon didn’t give two shits about Sun being completely traumatized from blowing up his brother.

Solar. he comforted him, yes, but- did he really ment to do that, or was he just doing that just to make himself feel better..?

Lunar didn’t care so much. He did, true but just not as much as Sun wanted to expected him to.

Earth, for her he was just a bother. She probably had enough of ‘therapy session’ and of Sun’s breakdowns.

Dazzle just didn’t feel comfortable enough for Sun being her dad. He knew it. He just made her suffer, now that she had to see him so- so tired. He was just a mess.

What if he just listened to Nexus..?

They probably would be together..once again.!

Sun liked the way that sounded.

He hesitated at first.

But then he saw that soft voice of his brother that called him from the sea.

“Sun..come with me brother. We will be still together! For how much you want! Don’t you miss me, brother..?” Of course Sun missed him!

So he just- looked deep in the sea that was circling the island.

He would’ve been happy.

They all would’ve.

So he took a step closer to the edge of the bridge.

Then one more.

And another one.

And another one.

And..he went down.

He closed his eyes.

And let the sea do whatever it wanted with his body.

He didn’t care anymore.

He couldn’t.

He was the only one that suffered and survived this long.

But he just a wanted a break.

So he drown.

But he felt an hand on his left arm. He was loosing consciousness, his eyesight giving up on him and then..he was in Nexus’ arms.

It was so comforting.

He needed that warmth.

…