Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Chapter 1

Arrows of Light maketh an Archer not.

Orario, The City of Adventurers, Home to the Dungeon and Countless Legends. Great people and lunatics from all over the world gather in this one place for both fame and fortune, calling it the center of the World wouldn't be an exaggeration, and—

"HROUGH!"

"GWAH!"

it's also the place where the young and woefully unprepared get skill checked so hard that if there were a monument honoring failure, it would make even the Gods lose faith in humanity.

…

I'm sorry, where was I?

Ah, right—

The young and woefully unprepared Bell Cranel, Level One, maidenless, and seconds away from becoming an educational example for future adventurers who ignore their guild advisors.

"HII!" Bell shrieked as he dodged another overhead swing that nearly turned him into wall decoration.

The game of cat and mouse..or perhaps bull and rabbit in this case, went on for a couple more minutes before predictably—

"GWUH!"

The rabbit tripped and fell.

Now, normally, this would be the part where a certain sword princess with the emotional range of white paint on an already white wall swoops in to save the day.

This would, of course, set off roughly twenty-something volumes of "heroics" and "romance," all triggered by the hanging bridge effect and an obscene amount of luck that would put Kazuma Satou himself to shame, while also somehow taking place just within a year.

This is..not that story.

CLINK. THUMP.

At the same moment Bell's face met the ground, a small, golden object rolled out of his jacket — a goblet, shining faintly with an almost holy light.

A holy and pathetically small goblet.

The boy's mind flashed back to when he had received this 'gift'..it was right before he had left his village, on the way to the nearest city, he had encountered an man in a cave, tall, aged and with striking red eyes.

'Wait my boy, it's dangerous to go out alone. Take this, this is a ancient magical artefact which is capable of performing miracles..or something like that"

Bell, being both polite and catastrophically naïve, had accepted it without question.

Now, whether Bell still believed in the old man's words was inconsequential—because in about two seconds, his head was going to be turned into paste if he didn't.

So, in the same way a drowning man grabs at straws, Bell grabbed the tiny goblet and prayed with all the desperation in his soul.

"Someone! Save me!"

…And indeed, his prayers were answered.

Bell squeezed his eyes shut, bracing for the final blow—

—but when he opened them, he saw strands of orange cutting through the darkness.

The massive club that was supposed to crush him and it's owner now miles away from both him and his saviour.

Wait…

Was that a guitar riff?

In a medieval fantasy world?

(Play: Bleach OST – "Number One-Bankai")

A long shadow fell over Bell as his orange-haired savior rose to his feet.

"Stay here."

Two simple words—calm and firm.

And yet Bell couldn't bring himself to move.

For a moment he even forgot how to breathe.

For a long moment, all he could do was stare up at the man before him.

Long orange hair cascaded down his back, a black coat split into three behind him where his legs began, his arms and hands were covered in black sleeves, with white stripes and fur adorning his left and blue patterns his right.

The first thought that crossed Bell's mind when his mind finally processed the man before him was..this person definitely does not belong in this world.

Then the man raised his right arm.

Blue energy crackled and coalesced around his hand, taking form—until a bow, sleek and jagged and humming with power, materialized out of thin air.

He stared at it for a second.

"…The hell is this?"

Meanwhile, the Minotaur—having suddenly lost its prey—raged and finally noticed the man.

The distance vanished in an instant. The beast's horns lowered, aiming straight for his chest.

WHAMFH!*

Bell froze, his mouth hanging open.

"Forget it…" the man muttered, voice heavy with irritation.

The orange-haired stranger had stopped the Minotaur's full-force charge—with his other hand.

He literally had the bull by the horns.

"Let's do it this way.."

SHWOOM!*

A sharp, rising whine tore through the cavern—the sound of air being sucked into a void.

The light built in his palm, searing white and blinding.

WHHHOOOOMMM!*

And in the next instant, the Minotaur's upper half simply ceased to exist, erased in a hollow flash of white.

"What the—", came the unheard cry of a pitiful warewolf who narrowly dodged the blast of the Minotaur Slayer 9000. His tail however, would be remembered a couple of inches shorter later.

This event was an early indicator of their most illustrious relationship going forward.

(Ost End)

Bell's mouth was still hanging open.

He would've worried about flies getting in—if they weren't all probably vaporized alongside the Minotaur.

Far be it from Bell to pity a monster that had been trying to waste him five minutes ago, but… well, he did.

In the first place, Was that kind of power even necessary!?

This was still the Lower Floors!

The walls were still scorching red!

"Hey kid!", the man then turned, and Bell froze.

Crap..did he say all that out loud?

"Were you the one who summoned me here? Are you okay?"

Bell almost sighed in relief and tried to straighten up."Y-Yes, si—huh?"

His legs gave out instantly. The world tilted, and he would've faceplanted if not for the man catching him by the jacket at the last moment.

"…So this is what it meant by a Reiryoku Connection," the man muttered, half to himself.

"S-Sorry! I don't know why but—"

"Get a hold of yourself", the man scolded,"Can you stand?"

"Yes sir..I think..", the boy somehow managed to get to his feet.

"Stop it with the 'sir' nonsense, I'm not that much older than you", the man said,"..or so I think"

Heroic Spirit ages were weird.

Even setting aside the ultra-exceptional cases—like a certain King of Knights who technically hit her mid-thirties yet still looked like she'd just graduated from knight school thanks to her own Noble Phantasm—most Servants were summoned at the point in life that best represented their prime.

They carried the memories of their entire lives, of course, but those recollections often felt distant—like someone else's dreams borrowed for context.

In Archer's case, his so-called "prime" picked by the Grail was sixteen—the same age where he got roped into his second world-ending conflict for reasons that still made no sense to him.

That said, he hadn't actually died in the conventional sense, which made his record on the Throne yet incomplete.

Somewhere back in his original world, the 'real' version of him was still running around, probably complaining about something.

So while this Archer looked sixteen, the truth was that the Grail had summoned a 'snapshot' still uploading in the proverbial Heroic Cloud.

Which put his actual mental age at anywhere between sixteen, and however old the 'real him' happened to be now.

Archer wished he could say that realising that he was a copy of a still recording copy of a living person was the most existentially horrifying thing he had ever experienced but, in reality..it was only ranked somewhere around the second.

Number one was getting to know the fact that his sword was actually—

"Then, what do I call you? Sir—I mean.."

Archer suddenly turned back, his eyes tracing something beyond the red cavern.

"Sir..?"

"I'm sorry, but it seems like we would have to carry out this conversation later", he said simply.

GRRR*

Minotaurs..Dozens of them.

Archer raised his left arm once again.

SHWOOM!*

Bell's eyes widened. "A-Again!?"

He tried to step back..that proved to be a mistake.

Strength left his body yet again.

THUD*

Archer glanced back..and sighed.

The white orb of annihilation disappeared into thin air.

He raised the weapon in his right arm..

"Right..how did four eyes do this again?"

He fiddled around with it for a moment, before he had the idea to pinch the air..

SHWAA*

"Right, got it", he said as he stretched the string of blue light.

..and released!

PTOOM!*

It was truly a feat of marvellous accuracy.

"Just where is all of this coming from!?" came the familiar cry of the same Werewolf—whose jacket was now pinned between an arrow and a rock.

I mean, really, the sheer skill it would take to hit not one, not two—but zero of the very large, very angry Minotaurs, and instead nail the tacky jacket of a stripper Werewolf that no normal human could even see from this distance.

It was like Arjuna hitting the eye of the bird in the middle of the forest.

Except, you know..Archer hadn't intended it in the slightest.

And so..Archer proved without a shadow of a doubt, that The Archer Class is in fact NOT made up of Archers.

Silence reigned in the cavern, not even the Minotaur seemed to know what to do.

"Ahem", Archer coughed in his hand, embarrassed,"..Let's try this again"

'Stop it. This time you will really kill him'—Bell's thought stabbing the air like a prayer and a complaint all at once.

"How hard can this be?"

"OW!"

"Third time's the charm!"

"Motherfucker!"

"What did that guy say the Arrow was called?..Helig-Helig something!"

"Just kill me already!"

Just what is this insane ceremony of light and pain? Did I die and reach Tarturus?—Bell thought as he saw his saviour getting more and more frustrated.

"Screw this! We are leaving!", Archer threw his arms up and picked up his small master with one arm, and disappeared in a flash.

Later, The Sword Princess, Ais Wallenstein, came across the charred, smoking, and—most importantly—completely naked form of a certain grey-haired warewolf sprawled in the middle of the corridor.

The only words that left his mouth as she approached were weak, pitiful, and full of the quiet despair of a man who had just experienced something beyond mortal comprehension—

"—I saw the light..it had terrible aim.."

Servant Corner!

Class-Archer

Master-Bell Cranel

Alignment-Chaotic Good

True Name-Ichigo Kurosaki

Source-Bleach

Strength-B+

Endurance-A

Agility-B+

Mana-B+

Luck-C

Noble Phantasm-A++

Class Skills

Magic Resistance (A)

Completely nullifies all Orarian magic below divine rank. Even Riveria's Floor Annihilation Spells would just be "warm."

Independent Action (B)

Aka. the only reason the Rabbit is still alive right now. Huh..all those times of getting split up before the start of the next big conflict actually came in handy.

Clairvoyance (B+)

Heightened spiritual senses grant him limited future sight, believed to be an "inheritance" of the Quincy King.

Personal Skills

Instinct (A+)

A combat sense so honed it borders on time manipulation. If there's danger nearby, Ichigo's body moves before his brain can even argue.

Quincy's Craft (C)

The theoretical ability to shape reishi into ranged weapons and projectiles. In practice? His form is atrocious, his aim questionable, and at least one Werewolf ends up hospitalized every attempt.

Spiritual Pressure (A)

Trancendent (EX)

Noble Phantasm

Getsuga Cero

Rank: A++ Type: Anti-Fortress

Range: Long (theoretically)

A fusion of Quincy arrowcraft and Hollow destruction — a single concentrated arrow of spiritual energy that unites every fragment of Ichigo's power.

It's beautiful. It's terrifying.

It's also, unfortunately, barely controllable, because Ichigo does not actually know how to shoot a bow.

….

Bio

Bond 1

A soul born of Death God, Quincy, and Hollow. The Hero of the Winter War and the Thousand-Year Blood War. A being second only to the Soul King in terms of raw power.

Why is he an Archer you ask? The Practical Answer is that summoning such a Heroic Spirit in any other class would be the equivalent of summoning the Nuclear Bomb and any normal Master would die soon after from either the shear Prana Cost or Ichigo's own Spiritual Pressure.

The Real Answer is..Ichigo simply heard his master's cry for help and jumped into the first vessel he could find, skipping the Grail's exposition like a Gamer mashing A.

Chapter Text

Chapter 2

Heroic Spirits have feelings too!

Bell opened his eyes to a familiar roof.

For a brief, glorious moment, he was deluded into believing that everything that happened the previous day—the Minotaur, the orange-haired savior, the Minotaur Slayer 9000—had all been a fever dream.

Then he turned in his daze and saw a familiar goblet, and said hopes were crushed instantly.

In the first place, they had just the one bed, and he didn't even use it. So, if he was sleeping on it that likely meant—

"Bell-kun!"

A white missile soon latched onto him.

"Oof!", a muffled cry left his lips.

"I was so worried!", his Goddess cried on his chest,"..I thought you were never going to wake up!"

"Kami-sama..I can't breathe", he said, tapping at her back.

"I don't care! That's what you get for almost dying on me!", she said with tears in her eyes,"..If not for that Frowny Hottie, you would've.."

Technically, Bell would've been saved anyway—probably by the Sword Princess or maybe even the Vanargand. Honestly, Archer's appearance might have caused even more unnecessary damage in hindsight.

But, well… Hestia's version sounded better. So let's go with that.

Wait..

"Frowny..Hottie?", he wondered.

Hestia sniffled before saying,"..He called himself Archer"

Archer..?

Images flashed behind his eyes — blinding white light, screams of frustration, a barrage of glowing arrows that hit everything except their target, and one very angry werewolf yelling obscenities.

Yeah.

"…That name really doesn't suit him," he said at last, gaze distant, voice hollow.

"Just what happened in here?", Hestia asked fearfully,"..Besides, I do not think that's his real name..probably"

"Probably?", Bell asked,"..Just where is he right now?"

Despite everything, the man was still his saviour, he needed to thank him properly.

"About that..", Hestia's smiled sheepishly.

Hestia plopped down on the couch after a long, soul-crushing shift at work.

After hours of selling Jagamaru-kun and being treated like an over-glorified mascot, there was only one thing she wanted to do—

Cuddle and spoil her beloved child all night long!

She giggled, cheeks puffed and rosy with excitement.

..but still..

"Bell-kun sure is late..", she said.

Could something have happened in the Dungeon?

Maybe she should-

*BAM!*

"Oops", came an apologetic voice.

That wasn't Bell-kun..

A Mugger!? H-Here!?

The only valuables they had were kitchen utensils!

No that doesn't matter..a weapon! She needed a weapon!

She found a coat hanger nearby.

"Just who the hell do you think you are rob—!?"

The hanger hung above her head.

And her jaw on the floor.

..Since when were robbers this hot!?

'A God?!'

No, she knew her fair share of Gods in Tenkai, especially those related to Beauty and Love—those were the ones she naturally watched out for due to her domain as a Goddess of Chastity.

And even up in Tenkai, this guy would've stood out like a sore thumb, not even Freya had managed to make her heart skip a beat like this!

..how would one put it? It's like the author's skill at drawing men improved a hundredfold while creating him!

—Ah Kubo..perhaps the only one better than Gege at drawing disturbingly hot men.

—Fuck you, Fight me.

"I believe this belongs to you", the hottie said effortlessly lifting something with one arm.

..oh, it was Bell-kun.

..OH! it was Bell-kun!

He had completely faded into the background compared to the absolute work of art standing beside him! The shear difference in Main Character Energy was despair-inducing!

And so, Hestia had her unconscious child in her arms,"..What happened to him?"

"He got attacked by a mad cow in a hole, I cooked it", the orange haired man said flatly.

"You..what?", she asked.

"Don't worry about it", the man then looked around,"still..it was a lot of trouble to find you, I had to ask around a bunch, eventually I found his Guild Advisor who pointed me in the right direction."

"Oh", she said, feeling a bit guilty,"..would you like some snacks?"

"I'm sorry, but I have somewhere else to be", He replied,"..there's a certain ghost who's been following this kid around all this time, I suppose I should deal with her first"

He sighed,"..this isn't my place to say, but this housing doesn't have enough ventilation or light. It's not the best place for a growing boy to live in"

Hestia took offence to it,"Hey! Who are you to speak about how I raise my child! We are doing our best!"

"I'm a Paediatrician", said the son of a doctor, and the nephew of a surgeon.

"..Oh, I'm sor—", Hestia apologised, and then realised the meaning of his words,"..huh?"

..That didn't suit his face at all! He wasn't an Adventurer!?

Then what's up with the outfit!? Cosplay!?

..no, that was actually really smart, children would actually be into that—if Bell was any indication, and he certainly had the face and body to pull it off.

Was he a genius?

"Don't worry about it", he said sighing as he started walking back,"Tell the kid to use a Command Seal if something really important comes up, I will contact him soon enough"

Contact him?..what would a Doctor want from her child? Was he sick?!

"Wait!", she yelled, making him stop in his tracks.

"What is it?", he asked annoyed.

"What is your name?", she asked.

"Oh right, I probably should've introduced myself..", he then turned around,"I am Kuro-"

He started, then suddenly paused.

Should he be telling her his name?

Sure, he wasn't summoned in a Holy Grail War..whatever that was, but something or the other strongly advised against it.

Instinct Rank A+..He believed it was called.

"..Just call me Archer", he said as he disappeared in a flash.

"So he dropped me off, insulted our home, and ran off chasing ghosts!?", Bell yelled.

"Ah..when you put it like that..", Hestia said sheepishly,"..He did say he would be back?"

Bell felt like crying.

"A-ah don't cry Bell-kun! How about you get some rest! I'll prepare dinner in the meantime!", she said as she quickly hurried out of the room.

With nothing more to do, Bell promptly fell down on his pillow, his energy spent.

…

..'ah right, I haven't exchanged the Magic Stones yet', he remembered,'I'll do it tomorrow..'

..

'..that Minotaur's Magic Stone, it's probably turned to dust by now huh?'

He then turned in his bed..Archer's comment about their poverty affected him more than it should have.

Bell understood that Archer probably meant nothing malicious by it, but still..

He was frustrated at his own weakness..

He closed his eyes..

'I wish I could make enough money to make our lives better'

He almost drifted off to sleep from exhaustion , but a bright golden light from over the dresser stopped him.

"What the-!? That's all it took!?", he protested before their only bedroom promptly exploded.

"SAFETY FIIRSSST!", A loud obnoxious voice filled the smoke filled room.

Bell coughed from the smoke, his eyes eventually wandered to the person in the centre of the storm.

A man in a brown trench coat, raising a shovel high through a hole in the ceiling as if it were a holy weapon

Cling*

The man set his shovel down on the remains of their only bed.

"So you must be my Master, Servant Lancer..tell me Master, are you prepared to make some honey-!?"

For a moment, Bell was stunned, then he suddenly stood up.

"K-Kami-Sama! An Ogre just broke into our home!"

Bell said like a scared kid calling his mother. Like Lancer was a Monster trying to eat him.

Lancer took critical emotional damage.

"U-uh..Master, I'm not—"

Then his Goddess opened the door, "Bell-kun! What just—!? What is a Monster doing here!?"

"Like I was saying, I'm not a Monster!", Lancer yelled.

"Lies! How do you explain that face! You cannot call that human, you potato!", She accused pointing at him.

Lancer's eyes lost all colour, and he wished to never have been summoned in this world.

It may not look like it right now..but this man would soon become the Captain of their Familia.

Now, let's see how many of you can figure out who Lancer is. I think I made it pretty obvious.

Chapter Text

Chapter 3

..Or do they?

"So, Servant..Lancer was it?", Hestia asked cautiously.

"Yes I'm Servant Lancer", the man said, his voice so low it was a wonder anyone heard it.

"Are..are you okay?", Bell asked.

"Why wouldn't I be? In my life, I made tons of money and even became the king of a nation, what does it matter what I look like? What does it matter that any lady other than my mother, that Muscle Queen or Javier's Love Interest always mistake me for a servant? Abraham Lincoln looks like a hairy zombie but he ended slavery"

"Um..", Bell said,"..I'm sorry."

Lancer bit his lower lip and cried..he looked terrifying.

"Don't apologise you damn adorable light novel protagonist! What are you? Javier Part 2!? Huh?!"

"Eek!", Bell hid behind his Goddess.

Something broke within Lancer.

"..I'll clean up my mess.", he said as he walked like a dead man walking, towards the entrance,"..I'm going, to get materials.."

Normally, this would've been the end of it.

Unfortunately, Lancer had superhuman hearing thanks to his accursed Mana Circle.

"..Kami-sama, do you think that man is related to Archer?"

"..Unlikely, aside from their names, their presences are so different it's almost laughable"

Lancer bit his tongue! Tears streamed down his face.

God! Why is there such a vast difference between fellow Heroic Spirits!? Aren't they belonging to the same Three Knight Classes!?

Lancer hadn't even met Archer yet, and he already hated him!

Alright—he thought as he calmed himself and started examining the outside of Hestia's church.

His eyes sparked green as he analysed the Church's inner structure

"Stone and Wood..looks like Cement is going to be a long shot still", he said,"..Shall we go for the Ondol Flooring Plan?"

An oldie but a goodie, The materials could be scavenged easily enough — for a single home, at least...he had built one by himself(with some limited help from his insignificant servant) all those years ago.

"Ggoming"

A white feathered bird emerged from Lancer's pocket. Still half asleep

Lancer pulled out a brown seed, and moved to feed it to his Familiar.

Who slapped it away.

"Ggo!(We died a long time ago, why do I need to work now? This is abuse. Am I just a tool for labour? Is that the meaning of my existence? I say No! To work is to lose!)"

Lancer then simply said,"Ppodang"

"Ppo!"

An adorable, unreasonably cheerful hamster appeared on his shoulder.

A few seconds later, there was a bloodcurdling scream that scattered every crow within two blocks.

Moments later, the citizens of Orario were treated to the sight of a terrified giant bird rocketing into the sky — with a brown-haired man in a trench coat clinging to its back, yelling about flooring materials.

"They are still not back", Bell replied.

It was nearly dawn, while he didn't particularly worry for Archer, he was getting more anxious for Lancer.

He was already not in his best frame of mind, what if he—

"I'll go looking for him", he said stepping out of their home.

"Okay, just get home before nightfall", Hestia said.

..but where do I start?, Bell thought.

The Merchant's district would be a safe bet, considering he did say he was looking to get materials.

But, he couldn't be sure that Lancer even knew where that district was..

Without thinking he wandered deep into Orario.

"Lancer!? Where are you!?", Bell called.

No answer.

"I'm sorry! So Come back!"

..Lancer's being treated like a pet dog..this-this is a new low.

"This isn't working", Bell sighed and looked at his hand,"..now come to think of it, Archer said that I could use these—'Command Seals' to call him, I wonder if I can—"

Suddenly he felt a tap at his shoulder.

"Ano.."

Bell quickly turned around.

It was a girl, close to his age, with silver hair and in a green dress.

She stepped back a bit and blushed.

"I-I'm Syr Flova, and I couldn't help but hear that you were looking for someone"

She was adorable, unfairly even..and yet, Bell couldn't bring himself to focus on that.

The boy couldn't explain it, but it was like his stomach had curled itself into a knot..it was a scary and unsettling feeling.

"I believe you were looking for that pota—dignified person", she said with a smile.

Bell's stomach sank, so much that it was actually painful.

L-Lancer! What did you do!?

"I'll take you to him!", she said with a bright smile.

It only served to fill Bell with an unprecedented amount of dread.

"I-is this..a festival?"

The girl—Syr had taken him to the Daedalus Street.

At least, Bell thought it was Daedalus Street.

Because it was almost unrecognizable from the destitute, crumbling maze he'd seen before.

The muddy roads had been paved with neat, patterned tiles. Strings of colorful lights hung between buildings. There were stalls now — actual food stalls — and music playing from somewhere far too loud and cheerful to belong in this part of Orario.

Children were laughing. People were smiling.

Bell blinked once.

Twice.

Then again, slower.

"…What the hell is happening right now?"

"SAFETY..FIIIRST!"

A chorus of childish cries rang out, and Bell knew for certain who was responsible.

"I can't hear you! One more time!"

Ah..there's a familiar voice.

What's with that pose?

What's with that devilish face!? Oh..that's his normal happy face.

"SAFETY FIIRRST!"

Dozens of kids lines up in front of him.

—and a couple of adults prostrated in front of him

"Ah! Master!" Lancer beamed, finally spotting him from atop a stack of lumber. "Were you doing well!?"

Bell froze. His soul briefly left his body.

In that moment, he sincerely wished he was scummy enough to pretend he didn't know this man.

"Lancer, how did you do this?", Bell asked.

Lancer had taken him to a makeshift bar—well, stand really—that apparently belonged to the "Hostess of Fertility," the same place the silver-haired girl worked at.

"It wasn't that hard," Lancer said with a tired sigh, casually sipping something way too expensive-looking for the situation. "Roughly ninety percent of the structural work was already finished."

He leaned back, eyes glinting with professional admiration.

"All the engineering in this place is top-tier. To the point that—" he paused, smiling faintly, "—if I'd met the designer while I was alive, I would've worked him to the b—"

A cough.

"—gave him a very respectable job offer."

You were definitely about to say something really cruel right there weren't you!?

"His design work, on the other hand, is complete garbage."

"…What?"

"I mean, honestly!" He gestured at the streets around them like a man personally offended by geometry. "Who in their right mind thought designing a two-dimensional maze and calling it a district was a good idea!? Artistic license is one thing—but when building an actual city, you should consider the minor detail that people have to live there!"

His rant was gaining speed. "And don't even get me started on that labyrinth underneath! What is that!? A personal fetish dungeon!? Are they trying to reenact the Minotaur myth in real life!? Where's Ariadne!? Let's go look for her—I'm sure she's hiding around here somewhere with a ball of string!"

'..why even bother correcting yourself earlier when you were still going to tear him a new one? Besides that, what was it you said there? Something about a Labyrinth..I feel like that's really important', Bell thought.

"Besides that..how did you manage to do this in a single morning?", Bell asked.

"Oh that..", Lancer hung back in his chair.

"Diarrhoea of Winter! ZA WARUDO!"

"I am the Butt..I mean the Heart of Winter..!"

Time stopped around Lancer, as he brandished his shovel.

"Behold..the Power of Proper Civic Planning! MWAHAHAHA!"

He dug like a man possessed — a small mercy that no one could see his face in this paused world.

When the last tile was set, he turned dramatically, coat fluttering in the nonexistent wind.

He snapped his fingers.

"And so..Time begins to move again"

"What the—since when was there a road here!?"

Stalls that had once been on uneven cobblestone now stood on smooth, perfectly laid pavement, complete with drainage grooves and decorative lampposts.

A merchant dropped to his knees. "It's a gift from God!"

A child pointed at Lancer, eyes sparkling. "Lancer is God!"

Lancer spread his arms, like Jesus incarnate.

"Lancer! Lancer! Lancer! Lancer!"

Bell looked at him..horrified.

Did..did he say he just stopped time?

Was that even allowed?

Was Lancer the right person to have that kind of power?

"Besides, I'm not even the one who did much of the heavy lifting", Lancer said, "As a Heroic Spirit with no concept of tiredness, I could practically swing around this shovel all day, if you want someone to be thankful to, thank Daeda-or whatever his name is for coming up with such a strong framework, and that waitress for inviting all these investments"

"I didn't even do anything, I just contacted some of out bar's patrons..besides, it was good for buisness as well~", Syr sang as she placed a plate in front of Bell.

"I'm glad you feel that way, because I'm still stealing all the credit!", he said shamelessly.

You know, despite Lancer's words..could it be..that he's actually a good person?

"By the way..Lancer, what brought you to this place? Weren't you gathering materials to fix our home", Bell asked innocently.

..He really shouldn't have.

"Oh right, I completely forgot about that", Lancer replied,"I did gather the materials and was on the way back, but then I got lost..Servants may be given basic information about the world we are in, but apparently it does not extend to geographical navigation. Luckily, this girl found me and offered to take me back to your place—well, we talked a bit, and she came to know I was a Builder. One thing or another happened and I ended up using all the materials for your house to renovate an orphanage"

That's what he was doing all this time? Well, as long as it's for a good cause—

"But it seems I did too good of a job, and soon attracted a crowd. Well, I didn't have enough materials to create an Ondol for each and every one of them, but I was still determined to help them—"

Oh that's actually..

"..After all, debt is the fastest way to get cheap labour in the future", he said with a maniacal grin.

For some reason, all the Waitresses other than the one at his side, stiffened.

..it's no use, Bell cannot figure out if he's a good guy or a bad guy!

"Now now, Bell-san..", Syr said,"I'm sure that Lancer is just the type of person who's not honest with himself, after all, no normal person would take on such a extraordinary construction project alone..and for free!"

"That's where you are wrong Miss", Lancer said sighing,"..Have you ever heard of Customer Acquisition Cost?"

"H-huh?", the waitress's smile strained.

"I am still unknown around these parts, it would be too troublesome for me too seek out some spoiled God for a Project, on the other hand, it I'm the guy who somehow managed to revive a dead district by himself, Profit will seek me out!"

He then started chuckling maniacally,"..and it seems that no one has figured out that someone has to maintain this district's infrastructure as well..and it just so happens that the Daedalus Street is the most crowded place in Orario, which means that once the Merchants and the Guild get used to the Market and Luxury, there is simply no way they could let it go..and guess who exactly it is who can maintain an Ondol System? Don't worry, I'll give them a discount..a teany, tiny discount"

Syr gulped..had she unleashed a monster?

"And the Daedalus Street Project isn't even finished yet! Can you see it Master! The Way to Heavenly Retirement! HAHAHAHA!"

Yeah, Bell can see it..the Slow Death of his Morals.

"Disgusting..that man is as disgusting as his face", a certain elf whispered..unfortunately, due to Lancer's Swordmaster Syndrome he heard all of it.

He laughed while crying.

"That's..all well and good, but how are you planning to get attention", Syr asked,"..with an alias like Lancer, you'd do nothing but inspire copycats."

Lancer tilted his head,"..that's true, well..I thought of using my Family Crest but that doesn't hold any meaning in this world, besides I'm dead, so there's no real point using it other than for old times sake..hey, Master, does your Familia have a crest?"

"E-eh? No we don't..we just formed a while ago", he said

"Then a name then, do you guys have a name?", he asked.

"We're just called the Hestia Familia..", he said unsure of where he was going with this.

..He had a very bad feeling about this.

Lancer then nodded understanding,"Hestia huh..if I recall, she was the Greek Goddess of Home and Hearth..well, if it worked for Apollo Hospitals.."

He had a really bad feeling about this.

"Master Lancer!", a man got down on his knees before him,"You have given us so much, how will we ever be able to repay you!?"

"Woah woah, there is no need for you to do anything for me..you can just hire my services after you get on your feet", Lancer said, like an angel descended to earth in the form of man.

Bell's stomach didn't feel good.

"After all..THIS IS ALL THE GRACE OF THE GODDESS ETERNAL, HESTIA!", he said clasping his hands in prayer and raising it skywards.

Oh..

Oh..no..

His Goddess is being treated as a mascot.

Worse.

She was being treated as a literal Goddess.

"BY HER DECREE! THERE SHALL BE NO ONE IS ORARIO WITHOUT A ROOF OVER THEIR HEAD! PRAISE HESTIA! PRAISE THE HEARTH!"

Applause rang out across the district.

"I met Goddess Hestia at the Jagamaru stand yesterday! She was a hundred times more nicer than my own Goddess!"

"I am thinking of joining the Hestia Familia if I can see Master Lancer's evil face longer!"

Lancer then raised his shovel,"PRAISE THE..!"

"..HEARTH!", the crowd rang out.

"PRAISE THE..!"

"..HEARTH!"

"PRAISE THE..!"

"..HEARTH!"

Bell looked at the scene before him..unsure of how to feel.

He felt a strong arm at his shoulder.

"Rejoice boy, it seems you are going to be making a lot of money in the future..just make sure to spend it at my place"

It was Mama Mia, the Dwarwen Proprietress of the Hostess.

Bell then looked at his hand, the red sigils..

'I did this..', came his complex realisation.

'Once again..I cause nothing but trouble for my Kami-sama"

His musings were drowned out by the screams of capitalistic fanaticism.

Meanwhile, The Short Goddess in their home sneezed, unaware of the cult forming around her.

Servant Corner!

Class: Lancer

Master: Bell Cranel

True Name: King (Consort) Lloyd Frontera Magentano

Alignment: Lawful Go-..Lawful Evi-..Lawful Lloyd

Master: Bell Cranel

Source: The Greatest Estate Developer

Strength-C+

Endurance-B

Agility-B

Mana-B+

Luck-B

Noble Phantasm-?

Class Skills

Magic Resistance (B)

Personal Skills

Pioneer of the Stars (EX)

The crystallization of humanity's drive for progress.

He accelerates civilization merely by existing within it.

Golden Rule (A)

A walking economic miracle. No matter the era, currency, or stock market, Lloyd somehow turns a profit. Would've been at EX if not for his fa-

Charisma (A)

He does have Aura..technically.

Builder's Insight (A)

Instant structural comprehension. Terrain, architecture, supply chains—nothing escapes his mental blueprint.

Battle Continuation (C)

Demon—oh, that's just his face (A)

Asrahan Core Technique(A)

Noble Phantasm

Frontera Estate

Rank: ? Type: Anti-World / Reality Marble

"A home is the foundation of civilization."

The Estate is the legend of his perfect city-state: a sealed, self-sufficient domain housing many Sword Masters, a Grandmaster, two domesticated dragons, and a living ecosystem of innovation, as well as the demonic slave driver called his wife.

However, The internal mana density and autonomous guardians are so overwhelming that using the full Estate while linked to an unprepared Master (like Bell) would immediately vaporize him.

"My apologies, Master—but if I open the front gate, you'll be paying rent to the afterlife."

Partial deployment (e.g., a construction field or workshop) or summoning Familiars are safe and often used for construction.

Demonic Singer of Hell

Rank: A Type: Anti-Humanity

"The only thing worse than his face is his singing voice"

Diarrhoea of—I mean the Heart of Winter

Rank: B Type: Anti-Unit(Self)

Chapter Text

Chapter 4

Unexpectedly, Archer and Lancer make a good pair.

".."

"..Lancer-san, if you stare at her like that, someone is going to call the cops", Bell said.

"For what reason? I don't think I was looking at her that long"

"..", the look in Bell's eyes said everything.

"Okay..you don't need to say anything, I already get it", came Lancer's tragic response.

"It's just that..your face—"

"Don't say it!"

"Okay, I won't"

".."

"…"

"..I'm sorry"

"Goddamn it!"

Lancer had taken to filling in Bell as to exactly what he was and the Holy Grail in his possession.

Without bothering with much exposition, this was Bell's reaction to Lancer's status as a Heroic Spirit—

"GHHK!", He visibly flinched, his expression and posture would not have looked out of place in a horror film.

If anyone had asked Lancer what he felt back then, he would of course deny all accusations of humiliation — and, out of sheer principle, trap the offender and their entire family in a generational debt cycle.

..yes out of principle.

The reason why this conversation had even started, was because Lancer had taken to looking—yes, looking, it hadn't even been a minute since his gaze wandered since Bell called him out, So Lancer was completely innocent..for once—at a certain waitress at the makeshift pub.

In his defence, Bell sensed some real killing intent from the elf known as Ryuu Lyon when Lancer started looking at her.

"Even still, it looks like elves are actually elves here..The Absolute One must truly hate me", Lancer mused,"..He could've send me to this world before I got married..that absolute bastard"

Bell sweat dropped,"..do they not have elves where you come from?"

"Of course we do", Lancer waved him off,"..They were a convenient and beneficial workfo—I mean treasured friends to my Estate where I came from—Incredibly cheap as well since they only asked for meat and beef as recompense since they refused to harm plants. Unfortunately, they were also incredibly large, ripped muscle monsters with minus sex appeal"

"You need not worry, Lancer-san..", Ryuu passed by him,"..I doubt that any respectable elf here would ever dare court a face like yours, even if you had ended up here earlier"

Ah, Lancer was suddenly hit by cruel reality once again.

"Besides, you shouldn't be looking at other women if you are already married", she said.

"Haa? Who says I'm looking?", he shot back,"I may have married a Muscle Queen, but even she's still a hundred times hotter than your washboard chest, come back in a thousand years once you've gone through puberty, you ****!"

He flipped her off for good measure.

Bell's screams died in his throat.

..So this is what dozens of rejections and suitors breaking down crying once they find out the face associated with the man Lloyd does to a man.

"H-Hold on Ryuu! You can't kill him! He's still a paying customer!", Syr protested.

"I know how you feel, I really do but Mama Mia's going to kill us if we cause a scene-Nya!"

"Someone hold this idiot down!"

Meanwhile, Lancer just cleaned his ear like it didn't bother him at all.

"Lancer-san..are you really a man?", Bell asked.

"Why? Wanna check?", he asked.

"..were you really married?", he asked.

"Yeah", he replied,"..if you can believe it, because I sure don't"

"..huh? You aren't sure yourself?", Bell asked.

"Heroic Spirits are always summoned in their prime, both physically and mentally", Lancer sighed,"..whatever happened after that period is just 'additional context', like reading a summary of your own life after the fact"

He then leaned back,"..if you were summoned as you are now, and then discovered that you had found your soulmate some five years down the line as some flavour text given to you by the Grail, could you still honestly say that you love that person?"

"I-I mean..I would like to..", he said blushing.

"Hmm..there are still Heroic Spirits like that..at the very least, it would be strange for a version of Sigurd to be summoned who didn't hold any kind of feelings towards Brynhildr.", Lancer replied,"..I suppose it depends on the part your apparent soul mate played in your legend"

"Who's..Sigurd?", Bell asked.

"Don't worry about it", Lancer waved him off,"..that guy's love story makes me grateful to have a face like this, and that's saying something"

"O-Okay..", Bell said,"..So which one are you?"

"Hmm?", he asked.

"Do you still love your wife or..?", he asked.

"..I'll pick the option that would not get me executed the moment I open my mouth", Lancer said without an ounce of shame.

—Lancer says that, but he absolutely does..after all, he's summoned as 'King Lloyd Frontera Magentano' rather than just 'Lloyd Frontera', so his own argument five minutes ago doesn't even really apply to him.

—Not that anyone would ever believe him even if he said the truth.

—Put simply, He's a hooligan.

"..That's not a real answer", Bell said, see? Told you.

"..Oh, look at that, a distraction", he said pointing at the latest batch of recently arrived guests.

"It's the Loki Familia!"

"..The Giant Killer Familia!"

"..Who Cares!? Don't be drawn in by that pagan Goddess! PRAISE THE HEARTH!"

"PRAISE THE HEARTH!", a chorus of yells screamed in pure reflex.

—ah, it looks like Lancer's Brainwas—I mean brand enforcement was still in full swing. Charisma Rank A is truly terrifying..

"Huh..what's wrong with them? Are they all right in the head?", Lancer asked his Master.

"It's you! You caused this!", Bell yelled.

"Just who are you calling a pagan Goddess!? I'm gonna-!", Loki was held back by Gareth before a bloodbath started.

"Whoa..all the pretty lights!", the Amazoness known as Tiona marvelled at the dozens of thousands of lanterns floating in the wind.

"So it's true..", Tione said surprised,"..someone actually renovated this district, I never thought it would be possible"

"We live in a truly amazing time", Finn said laughing,"..I would sure like to meet the person responsible for this miracle though"

..!

Bell instantly turned towards Lancer.

This! This is the time he shows his true colours and goes to shamelessly take credit for his actions! Just what would he do!? Sell out this district to—

*SNAP!*

"Itadakimasu..", Lancer said as he broke his chopsticks,"..that's strange..why did I say that, I'm not even Japanese.."

Lancer, or rather Lloyd Frontera, or rather Kim Suho was a pure blooded Korean with absolutely no Japanese Ancestry. Now come to think of it, he made a lot of Japanese Manga References in the previous chapter, didn't he?..could it be that the Grail supplemented him with this information in order to fit in?

..How does he get this knowledge and not of basic navigation? What does the Grail even consider necessary? What even is—

"Master..that look you are giving me is going to make me cry, so stop it", Lancer said, as he dug into the bowl of ramen before him, and the deep existential question of the importance of..things.

"Why-why are you not..?", he asked.

"Oh please, do you think I'm foolish enough to give my most recent cash cow over to some group who might disappear the next day just because they are popular and trusted? You should take a class on investments, Master", Lancer said sighing,"..Mere Soldiers cannot be entrusted to manage a city long term, trust me I was one—it would be far more profitable in the future if I just kept building this district on my own—at least until I can find a proper manager to run it for me"

He then looked at the crowd in front of him,"Besides—do I look like the type of boss who jumps ship the moment a bigger number gets slammed in my face? I started this project, so at least I have to see it through"

..oh..that's actually..

"Well—even if I did sell out, after the initial profit, it would be more likely that they would want to hire me to build a bathhouse or a castle or some other clichéd shit like that. Sorry no, I didn't get resurrected from the grave just to become another gofer for a dumbass Goddess who doesn't know the first thing about development or money"

W-well, that's still..

"It would be a different story if I had any sort of leverage though", Lancer sighed mournfully.

'You were so close! I was this close to actually respecting you!', Bell thought.

"..Things sure have changed, when I was alive, all I had to do was build a hanging bridge, avert an assassination attempt and route out all the corrupt ministers from my wife's circle in order to get her to trust me unconditionally", he sighed again.

"Did..did you say something really incredible right there!?", Bell said,"..but that's kinda romantic?..I think..?"

"Is it?", Lancer said surprised,"..at the time I was doing everything I could to avoid getting roped into staying at the capital as the Queen's new wage slave—I may like money, but only when I actually get to spend it on myself—everything else was just a diversionary tactic to get her attention off of me long enough so that I could escape to my Estate without causing a diplomatic incident. Well—her highness still saw right through me though"

..this man!

"Wait..you said the Queen", Bell realised.

"I did", Lancer said slurping his noodles.

"If your wife is a Queen..that makes you..", Bell realised.

"..Ah that little thing?", Lancer said,"..that's nothing but an overglorified contract she came up with to keep me working for the rest of my days, I would've literally been executed had I said no"

—No he wouldn't have, Javier would've saved him..probably.

"I doubt she would need to marry you in order to get you to work, she was the Queen after all", Bell remarked.

"I do not claim to understand how that woman's mind works.", Lloyd said sighing,"..it is the same with royalty everywhere, all of them have strange fetishes"

—Lloyd..keep in mind. Your wife is still inside your Reality Marble, if you keep running your mouth, you really will be executed this time. And not even Javier would be able to save you.

"..My image of royalty is shattering right now", Bell replied looking at Lancer.

"Well that's unfair, royals are human to—hold on, was that a dig at me?", Lancer asked.

"Who knows?", he turned away, pouting.

How does he even do that? That shit is adorable! His looks would be on par with a K-pop idol when he grows up! At First, Lloyd wished to compare him to his little brother because of his rabbit like appearance, but his upright, almost knightly morals and shear, sickening yet undeniable Protagonist Charisma drew an entirely different comparison..

"Javier 2.0 indeed..", Lancer scoffed,"..or perhaps Javier Lily..huh?"

Bell did not hear Lancer, his eyes were glued onto a certain member of the Loki Familia..

Her hair was like gold, eyes the colour of emerald, wearing a white dress like outfit that hugged her toned figure very well and exposed her back..

Yeah, right next to that girl—that werewolf who was wrapped up in so many bandages he may as well be buried in Egypt.

What? Did you think just because Bell is a teenager he would be horny all the time?

Human Empathy reigns supreme over mere libido, you little shits!

"Mama-Mia~, we made a reservation but you weren't there so we came here!", Loki called, as some of her Familia's Second String Members lugged the wolf in the cast around.

I wonder what happened to him—Bell thought to himself—Adventuring sure is a dangerous profession, I should listen to Eina-san's teachings from now on.

"Listen to this, Mama!", Loki said laughing, already drunk,"..for all his talk, this little doggie got caught in a magical trap on sixth floor!"

A trap?..was there such a thing on the sixth floor?

In fact..wasn't he on the sixth floor recently?..

…

…

"Isn't that a major issue!? If something that could injure a Level 6 that much existed on that floor, then the rookies may be in trouble!", Lunoire said.

"We already reported it," Finn replied calmly. "Besides, it's potentially our fault for letting the Minotaurs escape. The Dungeon is still mysterious. We just didn't expect the possibility of a layered trap like this."

Oh..that—that must be it! I mean, what are the chances that—

"But still..", Tione said with a smirk,"For how much he looks down on rookies, being caught in a trap which rains explosives of light from a distance on the rookie floors is ah..well, how would one put it, kinda lame?"

The wolf's full body cast rumbled in rage.

…

It was like a festival of light and screams, bolts of blue wandered out into the darkness fired by the black Archer, and as if preordained, screams and profanities echoed out. But the Archer wouldn't stop, he couldn't stop..his pride won't allow him to just walk away with his master without hitting at least one of his targets—

'It's me'

It dawned on Bell with horror.

Well, technically it was Archer, but he was excluded by the saviour clause. In other words, the only people to blame were that Minotaur and himself..and the later was missing a torso at the moment.

"I knew he was all talk!"

"Geez..all this talk about strength, and look at where it got him."

The makeshift stand exploded in laughter.

'It's my fault..I'm the reason why this kind veteran is getting slandered in a place like this'

He thought, he was sure this person was a good person, no matter what people say. After all, if Bell hadn't summoned Archer, he probably would have been saved by this person.

He was sure that the man would never say something so cruel, so needlessly cutting, that it might, say—send someone into a self-destructive spiral careening alone into the Dungeon in one timeline.

Bell turned towards Lancer, fully intent on confessing his sins..only—

Lancer's expression had morphed into something truly demonic.

"Hello..Leverage"

Th—This man! He's planning on taking advantage of an poor injured veteran!

Bell reached out on instinct.

But then he remembered something important.

He never actually asked how the Command Seals worked.

…

Which meant—

His noodle arms ain't gonna stop Lloyd. Fucking. Frontera.

Lancer power walked towards the nearest table where an adventurer who had insulted his Leverage stood.

"Oh Lord Lancer..how may I—"

SMACK!*

The man's body sailed in a graceful arc, hit the ground, rolled twice, and finally came to rest against a stone wall in what could only be described as an artistically painful heap.

Silence fell.

Every adventurer, barmaid, and child froze, staring in a mix of awe and primal terror.

And thus they beheld—

The one blessed by the Slaps of Bitch.

Lancer's open hand glowed an ominous blue..

Bell's open mouth bled an ominous red.

"W-what is the meaning of this!"

"Let's get him!"

*SMACK*

*SMACK!*

Two teeth flew through the air—and landed, with divine precision, in two entirely unrelated bowls of soup.

Awakened Hidden Art: Mana Bitch Slap—

Cooldown: still zero!

'God', Bell thought, not knowing which deity he was even praying to,'—just what have I done to deserve this? All I wanted was an adventurer and maybe a romantic encounter in the dungeon. Have I sinned in my previous life? I am sure I was a very respectable and dependable person who was admired and looked up to by every person who had ever met me. I am sure I never caused any trouble for my friends or my hypothetical half-elf adoptive sister..so why—?'

Lancer stood in front of a table of customers

"We didn't say anything", they said with a strained smile.

"But you were laughing", he replied

SMACK!*

And off go the teeth.

'Oh right..God is dead', Bell realised.

"That ugly human has lost it", Ryuu said,"we need to stop him"

"Well..this is a temporary place, and he practically fixed it, so we don't really have to do anything", Mama Mia said unexpectedly,"..besides, if any of you girls go anywhere near him, you will probably be sent flying anyway, that man is at least a Level 5..I can see just by looking at him.

"Oh?", Finn said cutting in,"..Please tell me more"

Lancer's highly perceptive ears perked up.

'Keikaku-doori!'

"Damn you!"

Unfortunately, he let his guard down long enough for a straight cross to be thrown at his cheek.

Unfortunately for the person who threw the cross that is.

At that moment, Mord Latro, who had only shown up in this new district for cheap food and vibes, knew true fear, and thought—

'Man..I really shouldn't have thrown that punch'

Lancer smiled at him, his punch had done absolutely no damage to him..but, he had butted in just when it was getting good, and such a thing was punishable by death.

Mord's fist hurt more than Lancer's cheek. It was as if he'd punched a ugly marble statue sculpted by an even uglier vindictive god.

'..I really, really shouldn't have thrown that punch"

A hand grabbed his collar, and suddenly he had grown nearly double in height.

Yup, Mord Latro was going to die..

But his salvation came in the form of a rabbit throwing himself at Lancer's back.

"Lancer please! Stop it!", came his teary eyed Master,"I-I can't.."

Unexpectedly, Lancer looked at his adorable master,"I see Master…you must be—"

Being killed inside by the guilt eating him up?

Being nearly driven to insanity by the shame bubbling inside him?

"—worried about retaliation after this..don't worry, he cannot retaliate if he's dead!"

Lancer's smile was horrifyingly bright.

"That's not what I—huh?"

Bell's legs failed again from underneath him.

"Master, are you all—"

The ground shook violently.

Lancer let go of the insignificant creature in front of him.

—an Earthquake..no..this magical energy..

"Everyone who's outdoors! Either hit the ground or come inside the orphanage!"

That building was the only thing he could call close to earthquake proof right now..the one who had created this district had clearly taken natural disasters like this into account, that's why Lancer could be certain that the property damage would be somewhat isolated—but it was still too much to ask for that engineer with shitty design skills who likely only knew stone and marble.

Besides—that was not even the most terrifying part.

..Archer had unleashed his Noble Phantasm..there could be no other explainations, given his master's status.

And from the looks of it, it was at least an A Rank.

Of course, leaving aside the obvious horrifying question as to what absolute demon could make Archer use such a thing when he was a 'proper' Heroic Spirit, unlike him..he needed to save the civilians.

His time at the port city of Cremo had taught him that much at the very least..

Property can be rebuilt, in fact it was potentially even better for him as a contractor if it were destroyed..debt, however, is erased once one party dies or goes bankrupt!

"Ppodang, Bibeong!"

"Ppo!"

"Bibeong!"

He handed his familiars, two brown seeds,"..find and help anyone you can"

In truth, Lancer would like to send more of his Familiars..but—

With how much he has been spamming his NP all day, and with Archer's latest stunt, he didn't want to risk it—the next one might actually kill his little Master.

The Hamster and Beaver leapt from his jacket, and immediately grew gigantic.

Lancer picked up his unconscious master—and tossed him towards a certain blonde, who caught him way more effortlessly than Bell would like to admit, if he were awake.

"You! Take care of him, if he dies we are all screwed!"

Bell was still his master, and Lancer did not have Independent Action.

The Loki Familia, experienced as they were, immediately rushed into action.

"Let's go help too", Riveria said,"Ais—?!l

The Sword Princess had disappeared, soon after the white haired boy was thrown at him, and was currently giving him a lap pillow at the orphanage.

Simply put, Lancer's Charisma outstripped Riveria's or even Finn's by a mile and a foot.

"Rabbit..", she said as she got absorbed in petting his snowy white hair..

..yes, if anybody asks—it's all Lancer's fault.

"Guh!", Riveria made an unladylike sound.

All those lectures, all those battle debriefings, all those patient talks about restraint…And all she had to do was toss an adorable twink at her?!

"Ppo!", the hamster lifted the enormous amount of debris infront of him.

But what he had failed to consider, was that the person trapped inside was injured and couldn't get out.

Damn it..this was bad, Ppodang couldn't let the rubble drop, what should he—?

A brown blur came in, and carried the woman with the broken leg outside to safety.

"Made it! Nice assist, Hamster-san!", the jolly amazonness known as Tiona said with a huge smile.

"Ppo..", Lloyd's oldest familiar looked at the girl with grateful eyes..

And then promptly picked her up and threw her on his back.

"Wo-woah..what are you doing?", she asked.

"Ppo-Ppodang!(There is still work to be done! Hold tight!")"

"Alright! Hamster-san!", she said, grabbing onto his fur.

Wait..she actually understood that!?

"Ppo!"

And the hamster took off in a sprint.

"WHEE!", Tiona cried in delight.

Meanwhile..

"Bi!"

The beaver swatted aside the wreckage with his gigantic tail.

But, instead of being grateful, the elf trapped inside shrieked.

"HEE! A monster! I'm sure it is the reason why all of this is happening! Someone help m-!"

*SMACK*

Ah..so thou art chosen by the slaps of bitch too.

The elf quieted instantly, stood up, and then calmly walked towards the makeshift shelter.

Lefiya who had just arrived to help, stood there, wanting to say something but terrified she would be slapped into orbit as well.

"Alicia! Aki! Over there! Rescue that child!", Finn yelled, his commanding voice being heard throughout the district.

"Anyone who's capable of using Healing Magic, follow me!", Riveria commanded.

Where was Lancer you ask?

When the earthquakes started, the first one to be abandoned was Beté Loga..who was currently doing his best impression of a worm on the ground.

'Damn it! N-not like this!', he thought, his yells were muffled through the bandages.

At this rate..he would be trampled!

Then suddenly he felt himself be picked up.

"Ah, so there you were", Lancer said with a heroic smile,"..a Hero like you shouldn't be forced to crawl on the ground"

For the first time in a long while..Beté Loga felt himself be taken by tears.

If only he knew what Lancer was thinking right now..

'BWAHAHAHA leverage secured!'

…

…

…

The disaster lasted a good minute before the quakes became tremors.

"Well, I suppose that's the last of it", Finn said with a smile

*CRACK!*

A loud noise filled the city.

Ah—he really shouldn't have said that.

Before their very eyes, the Babel Tower..the very symbol of Orario, tilted.

The noises became even more foreboding by the minute..and eventually—

The Tower fell, bisected cleanly in half.

*BOOM!*

…

..

—They really shouldn't have named it Babel, it was practically foreshadowing.

"Ugh..what—where am I?", Bell awoke to Ais's blank face.

His eyes then turned to the broken tower in the distance.

"Oh—I'm still dreaming, good", He plopped back down on her lap.

"Hey..correct me if I'm wrong..but, isn't the Twilight Manor in that direction?", Someone asked.

"Really!? I mean, sure the Tower is gigantic and the winds are particularly strong this season, but what are the chances of it reaching the other side of Orario?"

Well..with Lancer's Pioneer of the Stars at EX and Golden Rule at A—

Unfortunately, Bell was too tuckered out to play the Straight Man at this moment.

So, the universe filled in the role with the next most responsible person available — Ryuu Lyon.

"Nice Assist..Archer, MWAHA!"

Ryuu's eye twitched.

This human garbage… he's definitely planning on exploiting the recently homeless!

Lancer hadn't even met Archer yet..but he already loved him!

And so, Orario beheld the Age of Glorious Reconstruction.

Next time! Archer's Wholesome Doki! Doki! Ghost Adventures!