Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Prettyboi01: So how’s moving been going?

Knifekeef: Good but im a bit busy right now, talk to you in a bit

I put my phone down and sighed. I decided to try and do my homework once again, hoping I wouldn’t get too distracted, it was late after all. I wrote my name on my paper and admired my beautiful handwriting and the wonderful name I was given: Lance McClain. Putting aside the thoughts of myself I got my work done, even if I did it incorrectly it was finished. I snuggled under the sheets of my bed and read my conversations between me and knifekeef over the past few days. I soon fell asleep.

The next few days passed in a boring way, I sat at my desk and thanked the cosmos that it was Friday. Just as I thought this, a kid that I had never seen before walks into the room, placing his things on the empty desk in front of me. The bell rings and class commences.

I tuned out my teacher and looked out of the window to the slightly overcast sky. The perfect weather in my mind, enough clouds to cover the harsh glare of the sun, but it isn’t raining yet. I turned my attention to the strange student that walked in earlier that morning.

He had a mullet. A fucking mullet. I couldn’t see his face since I was sitting behind him, but I was sure he couldn’t be *that* good looking if he still willingly had a hairstyle like that. I went back to daydreaming but was pulled out as I heard an unamused sigh coming from in front of me. I turned my attention back to mullet boy to see his profile, looking out the window.

He had his chin idly resting in the palm of his hand, right beneath the sharp angle of his nose. His dark eyes seemed to be assessing the world outside of the window. He was alright looking, nothing to fawn over but definitely not ugly, at least from what I could see.

I continued staring at the unfamiliar face until I heard my name being called, “Lance, can you tell me what page of the textbook we’re supposed to be looking at?” I blanked and looked around the room, attempting to see the textbook of the person next to me.

I heard a rough cough followed by the number 62. “That’s right, thank you Keith, even though I wasn’t asking you. Step it up Lance.” Our teacher stated before turning back to the lesson. I snapped my head up when I realized that the snarky answer came from the boy in front of me. Sorry buddy but I don’t remember asking you, I thought to myself.

“Well aren’t you just the teacher’s pet, mullet.” I said under my breath.

“Hey man it’s not my fault you weren’t paying attention.” He said in a condescending tone. I mocked him in a high-pitched voice. I saw him roll his eyes over his shoulder before he turned back to the front of the classroom. The rest of class passed with me grumbling to myself in an irritated fashion.

After first period was over I gathered my things slowly and walked to my next class, noticing how that Keith guy walked into the same class I was heading into. Just great, a class I’m dreading even more.

I let Pidge ramble on, stuck in my own thoughts until I stepped through the threshold of the class and was taken aback by a man sitting where my old teacher sat before she quit. I mean I was expecting a someone new but not one so young and obviously attractive.

His black t-shirt hugged his body in a way that it showed off the toned muscles underneath. His hair was stylishly shaved on the sides with just a little bit of hair on top, a white patch flowing from the very front.

While I stood staring the new substitute teacher, Hunk walked in behind me. “Hey Lance, who’s that guy over there with the mullet?”

“Oh, I don’t know, his name is Keith and he just kind of showed up today.” Pidge said, Hunk nodded and began to make his way over to Keith. I just kind of followed, hoping that Hunk wouldn’t drag me into his quest to find friends just this once.

“I’m Hunk, is today your first day here?” He said with his usual kind face. Keith nodded. “Did you move from somewhere, or are you just moving schools? Also, that’s Pidge, and that’s Lance.” He pointed in our direction, when we made eye contact I furrowed my brows and frowned at him.

“Hi there.” Pidge said, waving her hand. They looked at me and I turned my head away, stubbornly.

“Lance, aren’t you going to say something?” Hunk asked me.

“Why should I have to say anything to that dick of a teacher’s pet?” I muttered under my breath.

“Sorry, he’s not usually like this, just ignore him for now and he’ll come around sooner or later.” Pidge jumped in, rolling her eyes at me.

“Do you mind if we sit by you?” Hunk asked with his usual kind demeanor.

“Knock yourselves out.” Came Keith’s reply.

We all took seats near him. Even if I didn’t like the guy I still wanted to be around my friends. Pidge sat in front of him, Hunk behind, insisting he didn’t want to be in anyone’s way while they tried to look at the front. This forced me to sit beside him on his right, he had already taken my favorite window seat.

“Alright, now that everyone’s taken their seats how about I introduce myself?” The substitute spoke up. “I’ll be your new teacher. My name is Shirogane Takashi, but you can just call me Shiro, don’t tell the front office though from what I can tell they don’t like students being informal. Does anyone have any questions for me?”

A few people asked the generic things like where he was from how old he was and the like. We learned that he was moving from about a day’s drive away, though he wouldn’t tell us specifically, and he was 25.

I raised my hand and waited for him to call on me like the good student I was, or at least trying to pretend to be.

“Yes, what’s your name and question?” He said pointing at me.

I smiled and spoke in an almost flirty tone, “Hi my name’s Lance.” Before I could ask my question, I heard Pidge and Hunk mutter some oh no’s and not again’s under their breath as they covered their faces with their hands.

“Anyways I couldn’t help but notice how built you are. Do you work out?” I batted my eyelashes playfully. I'm not really into guys, but flirting with people is fun so it doesn't really matter.

“Really Lance? Do you have to try and flirt with every single person who’s even mildly attractive?” Pidge burst out and I just shrugged my shoulders with a smirk on my face. Pidge sometimes gets bothered by all my flirting, maybe she’s jealous. Just kidding.

“I don’t know what you’re referring to my dear, sweet Pigeon. I’m just simply making friendly conversation.” I feigned innocence and she glared at me for calling her Pigeon, something I only do when I’m teasing her.

“Friendly conversation my ass.” I heard Keith say next to me and my amused smile turned into an irritated frown.

“The hell did you just say to me, you don’t even know me. Don’t tell me,” I gasped exaggeratedly, “you’re jealous that I didn’t flirt with you earlier?” I put my hand in front of my mouth and faked pompous laughter.

“Huh? Why would I want someone as unattractive as you flirting with me?” He yelled, I glared at him and saw his face was red, probably from anger. Right?

“That’s enough you two.” Shiro said in a stern voice. “I don’t understand why you’re arguing over something so trivial.” He crossed his arms.

“He’s just angry cause I’m his type but I’m not paying any attention to him.” I said with a straight face, more like his face is my type but I’m bitter that he’s got a bad personality, too bad he's not a girl..

“My type?! Who said anything about you being my type?” His voice rose in pitch and his face got red, kinda cute to be honest. Huh? Who said that?

“You really don’t know when to quit do you?” Shiro stood in front of our desks looking down at the two of us. “Both of you go outside for a little while. I want class to start eventually, I may be new but I’m not a pushover.” He said exasperatedly. Just great not only did I wake up late and was humiliated last class, now I’m being sent into the hallway like a damn elementary schooler.

We both stood up, hanging our heads we walked out of the classroom door and into the hall. Welp so much for making an okay first impression, even if I did flirt with him. I glanced at Keith from the corner of my eye. Being angry isn’t going to get me anywhere, maybe he’s just having a bad day like me?

I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and softened my expression. “Hey, I’m sorry for what’s happened, I’ve been kind of a dick.” I said, I looked down at my shoes.

“Yeah, you have been.” He said and I whipped my head up to glare at him, he was staring at the other side of the hall. Before I could retaliate and make things worse he said, “But I have been too I guess. Sorry.” I kept looking at the side of his face, he was pretty good looking after all. But his hair is a tragedy that’s hard to overlook. Suddenly he turned his face towards me and I looked at the other side of the hall.

“Anyway, I’m Lance McClain. Sorry about not really introducing myself properly.” I extended my hand towards him.

He took it in his and smiled slightly, “Keith Kogane.” His hands were a bit cold and calloused, but they felt nice to hold in my own. Wait what?

“So um, why’d you move here, and where from? If you don’t mind me asking, I mean.” I tried to get my previous thought out of my head, it wasn’t bad but it made me feel uncomfortable. You’re getting nervous Lance calm down, you’ll make it weird.

“Oh, just you know, just a change of scenery I guess you could call it. I moved from Texas with my older brother.” He said, the change of scenery part sounded like a lie but I didn’t want to pry so I let it go.

But now that I think about it that’s where knifekeef is from. It really bothers me not having a proper name to call him other than knifekeef but damn is it funny. I didn’t mention him, I didn’t want Keith to be weirded out at the fact I had online friends. I just nodded my head and smiled at him.

“Why don’t you eat lunch with Hunk, Pidge, and I?” I asked excitedly, I always loved making new friends. Even if we started off badly, Keith seems like someone I would enjoy being friends with.

“I don’t know, I wouldn’t want to just show up uninvited.” He said.

“But you were invited. Plus, you don’t have any other friends, right? The more the merrier!” I said to him, trying to convince him.

He regarded me with a suspicious face for a moment before saying, “Fine I’ll sit with you, since you seem to be so eager to be around me.” He smirked and I could tell he was trying to tease me so I just smiled at him, his attempt at getting a reaction failing.

After that Shiro came out to the hallway, “If you guys are getting along now you can come back in, just please no more interrupting.”

“Yes sir!” I said saluting to him in a joking manner, Shiro scoffed and Keith rolled his eyes. We went back to our seats and Shiro took his place at the front of the room.

I spend the last two classes before lunch like usual. Paying attention to what I deemed necessary and writing down useful information. Soon lunch arrived and I found Keith looking lost in the cafeteria, I brought him over to where my friends and I usually sat. Lunch passed uneventfully with everyone trying to make Keith feel welcome and us picking fights over stupid stuff. Before I knew it, the school day was over and I was walking back to my small apartment I shared with my oldest brother.

I arrived outside and looked up at the building. There were only two stories and it was a little run down but it had a cozy feel to it, not like those giant buildings that were about thirty minutes in Phoenix.

I went inside and was approached by the landlady. “Lance, dear, there are new residents that moved in next to you in room 203 yesterday while you were at school. I haven’t had the chance to come tell you so I’m glad I caught you.” The old woman smiled sweetly at me and I thanked her before heading up to my apartment, number 205.

The apartment I was in was the last in the hallway so it was a corner room with a nice view of the large desert willow that was behind the building. It had two small rooms and a single bathroom. The kitchen was small but navigable as long as there was only one person cooking at a time.

Since my brother and I came from such a large family we weren’t that great on funds, we paid for the majority of the furniture that was in the apartment. So of course my room had the least amount of things. My brother had a full-time job so he could afford more things, while I only had a part time job at a sort of mom and pop cafe down the road. By all means I wasn’t complaining though, I enjoyed living here, and it also gave my family the chance to have a bit more room in the small house.

I decided to make peanut butter kiss and chocolate chip cookies, a batch of each, for my new neighbors. I set my focus on mixing and baking the homemade cookies, happily singing and dancing in the small kitchen.

Just as I was about to put all the cookies on a platter and bring them over I heard voices coming down the hall. They weren’t the voices of any of my other neighbors, most of them were either young adults trying to make their way in the world or kind old people who live alone.

“Face it dude he was totally your type and you’re only pissed at me because he didn’t flirt with you.”

“Shut up, I am not angry because of him. And I never said he was my type.” The voices belonged to two men but I couldn’t tell any other characteristics.

After I heard the door next door close I knew it was the new neighbors so I finished putting the cookies on the platter and walked over. I softly knocked on the door and heard someone walk towards it.

Someone opened the door and I couldn’t help but stray from the rehearsed introduction in my head when I saw who it was.

“Shiro?” I said in confusion.

Chapter Text

“Shiro?” I said in confusion. “You’re my new neighbor?”

“Haha, well I guess so? Did you come over to introduce yourself like a good little boy Lance?” He asked in a joking tone.

“Yes, in fact, I’m such an angelic little seventeen year old boy that I even brought homemade cookies.” I said holding out the platter.

“Ooh cookies, why don’t you come inside?” He said taking the cookies from my hands and moving to the side to allow me access into his apartment. The layout was the same as mine of course, just reversed, but there were boxes scattered everywhere, as to be expected of someone who just moved in yesterday. The only things that seemed to be placed strategically was a TV that was up against the living room wall, a couch a few feet from the TV, and a small dining room table and chairs big enough to fit at most four people.

He placed the cookies on the table and said, “Make yourself at home, I’m just about to make some pancakes for dinner. Keith is in the shower so you’ll have to settle for talking with me for the time being.” He walked into the kitchen and started pulling pans and ingredients from boxes.

“Keith? Uh Keith told me he was living with his brother?” I asked, trying to hide my obviously panicked and confused face. Don’t tell me that I unknowingly flirted with Keith’s brother the first day I met him?

“Oh, he didn’t tell you guys? Maybe he was trying to keep it a secret, oops.” Shiro shrugged his shoulders and began pouring the needed amount of each ingredient into a bowl.

“No, he did not.” How am I gonna have this hottie and his not as hot, but still good looking brother living as my neighbors?

I heard a door close and Keith came out of what I assumed to be their bathroom. He was dressed in shorts and a plain tank top. Okay so apparently Shiro wasn’t the only one who had some sexy muscles. Keith’s hair was still wet and I swear to god he looked so good, I had never really looked at him from the front, I always saw him from the side. Now that I saw his entire face my heart couldn’t help but skip a beat and for now I’m just going to blame it on heart palpitations.

Keith walked past me and towards Shiro. “Pancakes again?” He asked looking into the bowl.

“Aren’t you going to say hi to Lance?” Shiro asked, starting to pour the batter into the heated pan.

“Oh yeah him, I was trying to ignore it.” He said, still not looking at me.

“Rude.” I said simply. I crossed my arms and pretended to pout.

“Oh boo-hoo get over it Ms. Pansy pants.”

“Why the hell are you being so hostile? I thought we were getting along relatively well but I guess you’re too much of an edgy teen to at least be courteous.” I said pouting for real now. “Shiro, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t give him any of the cookies I made, I made them with too much affection for someone like him.”

“Cookies, what’s this about cookies?” Keith said changing his attitude.

“Lance was kind enough to make us some homemade cookies as a welcome gift, but he’s the boss when it comes to these cookies so that’s too bad for you. I’m sure they’re delicious, it’s a shame that only Lance and I get to enjoy them.” Shiro said shrugging his shoulders and made a sorry, not sorry face.

“Well, let’s not get ahead of ourselves here? I’m sure that you aren’t that angry right? Right?” He said, he really must like cookies, mental note made.

“I don’t know man. You were being pretty rude to me earlier until you found out there was something to benefit you. You cut me deep, Keith.” I said clutching my chest.

“Oh come on Lance, you’re being overdramatic, stop being a teenage girl about it and just give me some damn cookies.”

“You’re not gonna make it better saying that.” Shiro said matter of factly.

“Shut up Shiro nobody asked you!” Keith yelled.

“Hey, take your sass, and put it in your pocket.” Shiro said pointing at Keith.

“Stop quoting 50% off, jesus Shiro you’re such a joke thief!”

“Just let me try to be funny, you’re always so mean to me!” Shiro yelled back at him, he actually seemed a little hurt, but only like 15%.

I moved my eyes from Shiro to Keith as they spoke to each other but soon my eyes quickly grew tired from trying to keep up with their fast paced banter.

“I just want some goddamn cookies.” Keith said dejectedly.

“Hey watch your fucking language you little shit.” Shiro said back and at that point I couldn’t help but burst out laughing.

“What are you laughing at?” Keith said pointing at me with an accusatory finger.

“Nothing, you guys are just funny.” I said helping myself to one of the cookies I made, I admired its perfection before taking a bite.

“Right…” Keith said narrowing his eyes at me. I ate my cookie unbothered by his staring. Or at least I tried to be unbothered.

“Can you stop staring at me?” I said to him, slowly biting into my cookie feeling unnerved.

“Wha- no I wasn't staring, you're imagining things.” Keith said a little too quick for my comfort. “But can I really not have a cookie?” His shoulders sagged and he looked like a dejected little kid.

“Fine you can have one.” I sighed, it was only a joke anyway I would have let him have one eventually.

“Thanks you're the best, Lance.” It was the first time he had ever called me by my name and I blushed slightly. He took a bite out of a peanut butter kiss cookie and said, “These are actually pretty good, surprising.” He muttered to himself.

To cover up my embarrassment I said, “Well of course they are, /I/ made them.”

Keith just looked at me and took another bite of his cookie. “Ok guys pancakes are almost done, Lance do you want to stay for dinner?” Shiro asked.

“Hmm, sure if it’s not any trouble?” I asked cheerfully.

“It’s a lot of trouble get out.” Keith deadpanned.

“You’re not the boss of me. Shiro I know that you’re almost done but is there anything I can do to help?” I asked Shiro sweetly.

“Nope, you can just relax and try not to let Keith get on your nerves.” He said to me, smiling kindly. As I smiled I felt something brush up against my leg. When I looked down I saw a fluffy tortoiseshell cat. She was beautiful.

“Cat!” I stage yelled, trying not to scare her away. I squatted down and held my hand out for her to smell.

“Oh that’s Scarlet, careful though, she doesn’t take well to strangers.” Keith said in a warning tone.

“Nice to meet you Scarlet, you’re pretty.” I cooed at her. I sat down in front of her and after she sniffed my hand I scratched under her chin and behind her ears. Scarlet purred and climbed into my lap. I giggled and stroked her fur. “Holy shit Scarlet, you’re hair is so soft. What’s your secret?” I whispered to her and she licked my finger.

“What? Scarlet are you leaving me? I thought what we had was special.” Keith said, sounding hurt and betrayed.

“Face it Keithy buddy, I’m just so much more of a catch.” Keith came and sat next to me, he put his hand in front of her but Scarlet turned her head away from him. “Hah, you just got rejected by your own cat.”

“But why? She never goes up to strangers like that. She doesn’t even go up to Shiro that often.” He threw his hands up in the air.

“I’m special, she can tell.” I said scratching around her red collar.

“You’re annoying is what you are.” Keith said, his normal frown back on his face.

“Okay, okay, enough obsessing over the cat. Dinner is ready.” Shiro said moving the cookies out of the way and placing a large plate of pancakes on the table.

Keith stood up abruptly, scaring Scarlet away. I stood up and brushed the stray cat hair off my pants. I waited for Shiro and Keith to sit down, then I sat next to Keith, that way I didn’t have to be next to Shiro but I could look at his face.

We all piled pancakes onto our plates but before he ate Shiro put his hands together and said, “Itadakimasu.”

“Just so you know, he’s not some sort of weirdo, he was raised in Japan for most of his childhood so some habits just stuck.” Keith said.

“I thought you two were brothers, does that mean you lived in Japan too?” I asked Keith.

“No I didn’t, we’re adoptive siblings.” He said and I nodded.

“Keith was three when his father met me in Japan on a business trip and decided to adopt me. I was around eleven at the time I think, since he was away on trips a lot he counted on me to look after Keith. You know he used to hate wearing clothes, every time I would dress him I’d turn my back for four seconds and he’d be naked, just running around the house.”

“Shiro I think it’s time for you to stop talking.” Keith said, a death grip on his fork.

“And then one time,” Shiro began, ignoring Keith, “he got really mad about something, I think it was because I wouldn’t buy him this toy sword, and so we went home and I left him to play outside. Well I was watching him through the kitchen window, and at first he just sat there and cried. But then he picked up this rock.” At this point Shiro had started to laugh hysterically and I was left to wait for him to continue, which I did patiently. When he stopped laughing as hard he said, “He threw the rock as hard as he could into the air, and it came down and hit him right in the face. After that he just got even angrier and started screaming so loud the neighbors came to complain.”

“Really? You had to tell that story? That’s like the most embarrassing one!” Keith yelled, his arms were crossed and his face was extremely red.

I tried to say something, but I was laughing so hard I couldn’t form any words. Whenever I tried to say something I just laughed even harder.

“Stop laughing Lance, what the hell you’re just encouraging his behavior!” Keith said to me.

“But… but all I can imagine is a tiny version of you screaming his lungs out and I just.” I fell into another fit of laughter.

After that we ate in peace, with me occasionally laughing as I remembered my vision and Keith yelling at me.

We all finished eating at the same time, “Gochisousama.” Shiro said quietly. “So how were they Lance?”

“Amazing! I’ve never tasted pancakes so delicious.” I said rubbing my food baby.

“I’m glad you liked them.” He said with a smile.

“Hey Keith, guess what?” I said.

“What.” He said, already sounding annoyed.

“I’m pregnant, you’re going to be an uncle.” I puffed out my stomach and rubbed it.

“Lance that’s… oh my god.” He said rubbing his eyes.

“It’s Shiro’s, I’m going to give birth to Shiro’s pancake babies. Do you want to feel it, you may be able to feel him kick if you’re lucky.”

“I do, I do, I do!” Shiro said walking over to me and putting his hand on my still puffed out stomach. He gasped, “I think I felt it!” He yelled and I laughed.

“The doctor said it would only be twenty nine months, but it’s been thirty four.” Shiro and I burst out laughing while Keith just watched in disgust and horror. I couldn’t breath, send help.

“You guys are weird.” Keith said.

“Alright, alright.” Shiro said chuckling. “I have some boring teacher stuff to do so why don’t you two go hang out in your room Keith?”

“Fine. Come on Lance.” Keith said and started walking. I followed him to a door right past the kitchen.

We went inside and it was still very empty since they just moved in, he had a desk next to the door with a desktop setup on it, and of course a bed. There was a stack of rolled up posters in the corner and boxes stacked up next to the window.

There was one thing that was out of place in the small room, at least to me. There was a fancy wooden case with a glass top, when I walked over and looked through the glass I saw about seven knives of all different shapes and colors, perfectly aligned and sharpened. God this kid is still totally in his emo phase. I turned to Keith and tried my best to ignore the knives.

“Do you want to watch a movie or something?” Keith said, turning on his computer.

“Sure.” I sat down on the edge of Keith’s bed.

“What do you want to watch?” Keith said quietly looking back at me.

“I’m fine with anything, I’m not really picky.” I said. I heard scratching at the door and Keith stood up and opened the door, Scarlet walked into the room. She jumped on the bed and sat down next to me.

Indiana Jones: Temple of Doom started to play on his computer, he moved his desk chair out of the way, turned out the light, and sat on the other side of Scarlet. His bed was directly across from his desk and he had a large computer monitor so it wasn’t difficult to see the movie that was playing.

I sat back against the millions of pillows on his bed and got comfortable, leaning slightly towards Keith unintentionally. I continued to pet Scarlet but with a full stomach I felt myself falling asleep.

*Keith’s P.O.V.*

I sat with Lance watching my favorite Indiana Jones movie when I heard deep breathing coming from beside me. I looked over and Lance had fallen asleep petting Scarlet. His head was resting on his shoulder which looked unbelievably uncomfortable. I prayed that he wasn’t a light sleeper before I reached over and gently placed his head on my shoulder.

His hair was extremely soft, is it even possible to be this soft or does he just leave his conditioner in for like five hours? I ran my fingers through his short hair a few times before hesitantly touching his face. Even his skin was soft, I traced the slope of his nose and wondered if it was possible for someone to have perfectly placed, and sized features, or if that was just up to the person viewing them.

I could feel my face getting redder the longer I looked at Lance, Shiro was right, he totally is my type. I looked back towards my computer but I couldn’t concentrate on the movie, when I went to pet Scarlet I felt my hand brush against Lance’s and I gently took it in mine.

We sat that way for the rest of the movie, Lance sleeping, and me gently holding his hand. The movie ended but I wanted to stay in that moment, I didn’t want to go back to being the asshole, angsty Keith just yet. I wanted to stay here unguarded with him, but Scarlet meowed loudly, making Lance stir. I hastily pulled my hand away from his and looked back at the computer.

“Oh, I fell asleep. Is the movie over?” Lance asked, his voice was still raspy from sleep as he rubbed his eyes.

“Uh, yeah.” I wiped my sweaty palms on my pants.

Lance looked at the computer, “How long has it been over?”

“Just about three minutes.” I said, that was a lie, it had been way longer than that.

“Oh, well why didn’t you wake me, plus I was sleeping on your shoulder that must have been uncomfortable.”

“Yeah it was. You’re head is heavy it must be from that giant ego of yours… but you looked comfortable so.” I shrugged my shoulders and stood up before he could see my blush. God why does he have to be so attractive? You just met him Keith you don’t even know him so stop. I told myself before opening the door to the living room.

*Lance’s P.O.V.*

Keith walked out of the room, all I could think about was that rude statement. Why is he always so mean to me? He’s not that mean to Hunk or Pidge. But, he did let me sleep on his shoulder? Whatever. I stood up and walked behind him.

Shiro was sitting on the couch looking over some paperwork and Keith was getting a drink from the fridge. “Hey thanks for dinner and everything, but I should probably get to my own apartment.”

“Okay, thanks for the cookies!” Shiro yelled back and I just heard Keith grunt before I put on my shoes and walked back to my room.

When I got back I immediately stripped and took a cold shower. I didn’t have any homework assignments for the night so I was free to do whatever that evening. After standing under the cold shower for a while I got out and dried off, putting on my pajamas. I looked at the clock, it read 7:15 PM. I did my usual beauty and skin care routine before going to my room and laying on my bed. As I lay there I realized that Keith and my rooms shared a wall, not that it was a big deal.

After spending most of the evening over at Keith and Shiro’s house I suddenly felt lonely so I picked up my phone and opened Instagram before going to my dms.

Prettyboi01: Yo yo homie joe

Knifekeef: haha hey what’s up

Prettyboi01: mm not much, just home alone again and feeling kinda lonely

Knifekeef: your brother on a trip again?

Prettyboi01: nah he said he was gonna spend a few days with his girlfriend so you know

Knifekeef: got it, did you have an ok day other than that

Prettyboi01: ye I guess, met a new guy today he’s kinda bitter tho. So where did you move to again?

Knifekeef: oh just about a days drive from where I was before

Prettyboi01: why did you have to move though, like I know you said your brother got a job somewhere after you decided to move, but why did you decide to in the first place?

Knifekeef: umm, can I tell you something kinda personal that I’ve never told anyone else

Prettyboi01: of course dude

Knifekeef: well it’s just recently, my dad died after taking care of me and my brother alone for seventeen years and I was getting bullied a lot at school to the point where I tried to kill myself, and that was just kinda the last straw for my brother. So while I was recovering my brother looked for a job and a new place to live and now here we are

For a moment I was taken aback, how do I console someone in a moment like this? Do I apologize, say I’m there for them? The last thing I want to do is come off like I don’t care, or that him telling me this puts me off in any sort of way. After thinking for a moment I decided on what to say.

Prettyboi01: I’m so sorry that you had to go through something so painful like that

Knifekeef: it’s alright I think this new place will be good for me

Prettyboi01: alright, but just know that next time things get hard I don’t want you to just brush it off and say “I’m okay” I’ll always be here and I will always listen

Knifekeef: okay thanks so much. I have to go now, I’ve got some homework to do

Prettyboi01: got it, talk to you later

I turned my phone screen off and stared at my ceiling in the dark. I laughed dryly at the fact that I could tell someone that there’s always hope, and that I’ll always be there if they need a shoulder to cry on, but how am I supposed to do that when at this point it’s getting hard for me to support myself? I felt something slide down the side of my cheek and when I touched it I realized I was crying. I covered my face with my hands and silently sobbed in the darkness of my small room.

What I didn’t know however, was that there was someone doing the same exact thing less than five feet away.

Chapter Text

*Keith’s P.O.V.*

I tossed my phone on the ground next to my bed after saying goodbye to prettyboi01. I thought about what Lance had said earlier that evening, ‘Why the hell are you being so hostile’ because Lance, I’m scared. I’ve hardly known you for a day but I know if I don’t take necessary precautions you’re going to push until you know everything about me. Every single thing that’s happened in my past, and every single thing I feel and I don’t want that. Sure, I loved sitting with you on my bed and hanging out, but you were sleeping, so you couldn’t see my vulnerability.

I thought of my dad, and how he wasn’t around that often in my childhood, but when he was they were happy times. I wish you didn’t have to leave our lives so soon. I rolled over in my bed and held one of my pillows against my chest and buried my face in it. I cried silently into the pillow until I heard a knock on the door and I wiped my face.

Shiro walked in with Scarlet walking next to him, “Everything alright in here my little space cadet?” Shiro said.

“Wow when the hell was the last time you called me that?” I said trying to keep my voice from wavering.

“Probably when you would still run around in your red “space suit” and stab me with a stick.” He chuckled and sat on the edge of my bed. “But really Keith, is everything okay?”

“Yeah, why do you ask?” I said trying not to show any signs of the tears that I had just smothered in my pillow.

“I don’t know, I just had this weird feeling in my chest so I came to check up on you just in case. I brought a Lance cookie with me though?” He said with a sympathetic smile and handed me one of the cookies from before.

“Thanks Shiro. To tell you the truth though, I was thinking about dad, and Lance, and our new life here.” I said taking a small bite.

“I understand that you’re worried, but we’ve only been here for a day. Is there anything you want to talk to me about?” Shiro asked, placing a hand on my head.

I debated with myself on whether or not to tell Shiro the truth. I decided it would be better to be honest now than have it come up as a problem later, so I told him exactly was on my mind.

“I’m just scared, I don’t want what happened at the old school to happen again with Lance. I feel like I can’t trust anyone but you after something like that happened.” I sighed and pulled my knees up to my chest after sitting up next to Shiro.

“I know you are Keith, but I don’t think you should just think that Lance will be a bad friend right off the bat. Try to give him and all the others a chance before ruling them out.” Shiro smiled at me and ruffled my hair.

“Okay. I really want Hunk, Lance, and Pidge to be my friends but I don’t want to get hurt again.” I said in a voice close to a whisper.

“You’ve always rejected this thought, but do you want to try seeing someone? Like a therapist? Maybe they could help you get through this? I don’t mind looking around if it means I can help you in any way.” I thought about his offer for a moment and then shook my head.

“I really appreciate it Shiro, but I want to try and see if I can solve this on my own for now. If I can’t, then I’ll see someone.” I took another bite from the cookie.

“Okay, just know that I’m always here and I don’t mind listening to anything you have to say. Alright?” Shiro said before standing up, I nodded my head. “Well I’m gonna go ahead to bed, it’s early but I think you should do the same.” I nodded again and he left the room.

Scarlet jumped up onto my bed and sat next to me. “You really liked Lance didn’t you?” I asked and rubbed her forehead.

“Meow.” She said in a sweet tone, I’m going to take that as a yes.

“Well then that gives me an excuse to invite him back over doesn’t it?” I said with a small smile playing on my lips. I picked my phone up from the floor and decided to message prettyboi01 again, we really need nicknames that are more functional.

(Third person point of view for convenience)

Knifekeef: hey sorry, i know i said i had to go but i want to ask for some advice on something?

Keith typed hesitantly before sending the message. Lance’s phone pinged and he sat up, wiping the tears from his eyes and cheeks.

Prettyboi01: it’s no problem, what’s up?

Knifekeef: well, you know how I just moved schools and everything, well there’s this group of people I really want to be friends with but it’s so hard for me to trust these people after what happened last time

Lance thought for a moment, he understood knifekeef’s concerns but it was difficult for him to give any advice when he didn’t know much about his previous school.

Prettyboi01: do you mind telling me about what happened at your old school? I understand if you don’t want to so don’t feel like you absolutely have to

He tried to ask in the least pressuring way he could. Keith smiled happily, feeling that even though he didn’t know prettyboi01 in person that he really did care about Keith.

Knifekeef: no its ok, I feel like I can talk about it if it’s to you. Well, I’m gay, but the only people I officially came out of the closet to were my brother and dad but there was this boy that I thought I had fallen in love with, he was a really good friend to me so I thought that if I told him he would be okay with the fact that I was gay, I never expected him to reciprocate my feelings but I felt like he still accept me, but I misjudged his character. After I told him he started to bully me severely to the point that most of the school knew about me, a lot of the kids there were very judgemental so eventually they joined in and it just got very difficult for me to trust people my own age.

Prettyboi01: I’m so sorry that happened to you dude. Those assholes couldn’t look past the fact that you were gay and because of that they weren’t able to see how much of a spectacular person you are. I know this is easier said than done but I think it’s important to remind yourself every now and then that not every person has the same views on these things, so while the people at your school may have been judgmental pricks that doesn’t necessarily mean these new people are. I know it’s scary to have something traumatic happen and then have to pick yourself back up, but it’s important that you don’t stay knocked down. Take things slow and get to know these people gradually, you don’t have to become friends with them overnight. I’m not sure how much my advice will help but I hope you make some good friends that accept you for you at your new school. And for the record you shouldn’t have to feel bad about yourself because of people’s ignorance.

Keith thought about the advice he was given, it was going to take a very long time for him to heal after what happened, and he will probably never be able to forget it fully, but he felt that he could try opening himself back up slowly like prettyboi01 had said.

Knifekeef: Thanks so much, I think this will really help, I’m glad that we got the chance to start talking even though we don’t know each other in real life.

Prettyboi01: Me too, man

Both Keith and Lance smiled at their phone screens.

Knifekeef: Well I really need to get going this time

Prettyboi01: got it, goodnight

(back to Keith)

I got out of bed and plugged my phone into it’s charger that was sitting on my desk and went to brushed my teeth. I then got under the covers of my bed and surrounded myself with pillows while Scarlet made noises of complaint from being moved from a comfortable spot. For once I fell asleep quickly after laying down.

When I woke up it was already morning and Scarlet was being noisy. I sat up and walked out into the living room with her to feed her. Shiro was already sitting on the couch with a book in hand but it didn’t look like he was really reading it.

“Morning.” I said, pouring some cat food into Scarlet’s bowl.

“Oh, good morning Keith.” He said putting his book down and standing. “I was thinking we could go walk around and kinda get a lay of the land?”

“Sure, what time are we leaving, also what time is it now?” I asked.

“Well I figured we could just eat breakfast here and then go.” He checked his phone and said, “Around 11:30. You go get changed and I’ll put some waffles in the toaster.”

I went back to my room and threw on a basic grey t-shirt and black skinny jeans. I also made sure to grab one of my red sweatshirts, it was getting cool outside after all.

Shiro was in the process of putting cream cheese and jelly on the toaster waffles when I walked out. I put on my black Doc Martens on and grabbed a waffle. The two of us ate our waffles and walked out into the hallway, where we saw Lance leaving his apartment at the same time.

“Oh, good morning Lance.” Shiro said cheerfully and I shoved my hands into my pockets.

“Morning.” I muttered, remembering the advice I was given the night before.

“Morning guys, sorry but I don’t really have time to stick around and chat, I’m going to be late for my part time job. I’ll talk to you later.” He said before running off in a hurry.

“And to think I actually tried to greet him today.” I said crossing my arms.

“You’ll see him later, get over it sourpuss.” Shiro said before he started for the stairs.

We wandered around for a few hours until I checked the time on my phone and realized it was almost 3:00, we decided to stop at a small coffee shop that looked like it had been there for a long time.

*Lance P.O.V.*

I had just barely made it on time to work today but I soon realized it wouldn’t have mattered, because today was one of the slowest days we’d had in a long time. My shift was halfway complete and only six customers had come in. And two of them were just Pidge and Hunk here to hang out like they usually do when I’m working.

As Pidge worked on something on her computer and Hunk looked through a recipe book we had, I heard the bell chime signaling we had a customer. “Welcome to Loopy’s Cafe!” I said looking up from my phone that I was hiding behind the counter.

“Oh hey, it’s Lance!” I heard Shiro yell just as I saw him. I saw Keith trailing behind him looking uncomfortable.

“Oh, hey Keith, hi Shiro.” I said pointing most of my attention towards Keith. After hearing familiar names Pidge and Hunk looked up from what they were doing. When they saw Shiro and Keith they stood up and started to chat with them. Well they chatted with Shiro, Keith wasn’t very responsive so they eventually left him be, thinking he didn’t like small talk.

He came over and leaned back against the counter. “Hey, Lance.” He said softly.

“Hey buddy, what’s up?” I put my elbows on the counter and leaned forward to see him better.

“Not much I guess. Shiro and I were just walking around town, he said he wanted to see what was around here but I think he was just procrastinating on unpacking.” He said quietly, looking at me from the corner of his eye.

“Haha. I remember being that way when I first moved into the apartment.” I said sitting back up.

“Speaking of which, why are you living in an apartment? Like as far as I know you aren’t of legal age yet so?” Keith asked furrowing his brows.

“Oh I moved in with my oldest brother when I entered high school. My family lives pretty far from the school we’re at and living with many other siblings in a tiny house gets kinda cramped.” I laughed and continued to look at keith. Those skinny jeans really made his thighs look amazing. I mean, that’s not a weird thing to think right? I’m just simply observing, as people do.

“Got it.” He nodded his head slowly and avoided looking me in the eye. “Anyways, I’ll take a medium iced americano,” he then turned back to Shiro, “what do you want?” He asked.

Shiro looked at the menu for a few seconds before looking towards me and saying, “I’ll have a large green tea please.” I nodded and smirked at Keith.

“Sorry but we don’t serve mullets here.” I said.

“Oh come on I’m a customer like everyone else.” He said crossing his arms.

“Nope, no mullets.” I shook my head.

“We had a bonding moment. You slept on my shoulder!” He said throwing his arms into the air.

“Nope, don’t remember.” I said, Keith crossed his arms again and frowned, eventually my poker face broke and I laughed. “Alright, alright, that’ll be $6.25.” I said to Keith and he pulled out a black wallet and gave me exact change.

I finished the transaction and turned around to make their drinks. Not paying much attention to what the other four were talking about.

*Keith P.O.V.*

When Lance leaned forward towards me I felt my heart physically lurch. Wow that’s some close proximity that I’m not sure I like too much, but at the same time I do. I thought to myself as I looked at him out of the corner of my eye. We conversed lightly, for once I wasn’t paying all that much attention to what I was saying, I was more focused on taking in Lance’s features. As much as I wanted to I couldn’t deny that Lance was handsome. His face was proportionate and his features were well shaped. His eyelashes were really long and when he laughed his eyes crinkled cutely at the edges.

He teased me about my mullet once again but all I could do was pout like a little kid. Real smooth Keith.

His hair was messy, like he had just gotten out of bed, but at the same time it looked good, like it was styled to be that way. Thinking back on the way he rushed out of the apartment building I didn’t think it was styled. Chances were he was late for work and didn’t have time to fix it.

Lance turned around to make our drinks and I had the chance to give a mental thumbs up to whoever put his uniform together. He was wearing a simple black polo, a navy blue apron, and khaki skinny jeans that hugged his legs. This was the first time I had seen him without a jacket on and his arms looked like they had a nice amount of muscle on them but not an overbearing amount. Same with his long legs that were beautifully shaped. His butt too, looked like it was shaped by the gods, and I’m looking way too into his body type aren’t I? Woah there Keith, holy thoughts only.

After I thought that he turned around and pulled me from my thoughts. “Here you go, iced americano and a green tea.” I took the beverages from his hands and walked over to Shiro and gave him his tea.

“Hey Keith, Pidge and I are going to hang out at Lance’s place after he gets off in like thirty minutes, do you want to come over and hang out?” Hunk said smiling kindly, Pidge as well. I thought about the advice I was given the previous night.

“I… guess? But is that ok, I mean with Lance and everything. It is his apartment after all.” I said sheepishly rubbing my neck.

“Course it is, who cares about what Lance thinks, come hang out with us.” Pidge said, adjusting her glasses. I found myself smiling slightly, I definitely want to be friends with these two, but how does one have a good relationship with someone they just met?

“Are you guys gossiping without me?” Lance smirked as he yelled across the small cafe. “Unless… it’s about me?” He shouted clutching his chest in an exaggerated motion.

“We’re just telling Keith about how you ranted about how good looking you thought he was, and how it made you so angry that you knocked over the trash can and screamed.” Pidge said back.

“That never happened!” He yelled and blushed. Pidge and hunk just shot me a look that said ‘it totally is’ and I looked at Shiro who was silently watching.

“Is it ok if I go with them?” I asked.

“Course it is. What you think I’d say no to you making friends?” I shrugged my shoulders. “I’m just gonna go explore a bit more and then head back to the apartment, I’ll see you tonight.” He patted my shoulder and walked out, the bell above the door ringing. I found myself left alone with Pidge, Hunk and Lance, what the hell am I supposed to talk about?

I took an awkward sip of my coffee and found that it was delicious, yet another thing that Lance made that was amazing. “How is it?” Lance said, suddenly behind me.

I turned around in surprise and said, “Oh, um, it’s pretty good.”

“Great.” He said before another customer walked in through the door. It was a beautiful woman with silver hair, she looked to be around Shiro’s age. Everyone greeted her and began hosting casual conversation.

I stood there awkwardly watching until Lance looked in my direction like he just remembered my presence. “Oh Keith, this is Allura she’s a regular here. Allura that’s Keith, he transferred to our school recently.” He said.

“Nice to meet you Keith.” She said, her words tinged with a british accent. She approached me and held out her hand. I took it with my own, “My name is Allura, it’s nice to meet you Keith.” She smiled widely.

“Likewise.” I said very awkwardly, meeting new people definitely isn’t my area of expertise.

“Lance, can I have my usual please?” She asked and he nodded and went behind the counter once again.

After Lance made her usual, which I found out was a vanilla bean frappuccino, she stayed and chatted until it was the end of Lance’s shift. After that Allura said something about having to go back to work and the rest of us headed to Lance’s apartment.

Chapter Text

Lance pov

I was nearing the end of my shift and I was thinking about how Hunk, Pidge, and I were going to my place afterwards. My brother wouldn’t be home again so we could finally have the chance for movie night. When they invited Keith along I didn’t know how to feel. I mean my heart squeezed a bit but that’s just from not wanting to share my prime snuggling spot with Hunk.

While I was still thinking Allura came in. Just as beautiful as always. I made her her usual order and we all chatted until my shift ended.

We all went to my apartment and everyone began doing the jobs they were assigned a long time ago, i got the popcorn, snacks, and drinks all set up in front of the couch, Hunk made some sort of delicious food, and Pidge handled all the techy stuff. I called out to Keith, the only one without a job.

“Can you go to my room and pull out all the pillows and blankets, they’re stashed within the deep recesses of my closet and stuff so you might need to dig a little bit.” I patted him on the back and pointed him in the direction of my bedroom.

After we finished what we were doing, we sat down to eat the spaghetti that Hunk had made. I ate two oversized servings and still wanted more, needless to say Hunk’s spaghetti was amazing.

“You sure can eat, can’t you? You had a bunch of pancakes yesterday too, but not nearly as much as you just ate.” Keith said as I finished my food.

“Well duh, of course I didn’t eat as much yesterday, I didn’t want to look like a black hole in front of Shiro.” I said waving my fork around as I rolled my eyes.

“What are you two talking about?” Hunk asked.

“Long story.” I said as I put the plates in the sink. I could have easily just said that I had dinner with him yesterday but for some reason I felt compelled not to. Everyone was beginning to migrate to the couch and I said from the kitchen, “So what are seating arrangements going to be like cause you know I need someone to cuddle, preferably Hunk though.”

“Ugh Lance no, you always take up too much room. Can’t Keith sit next to Hunk this time and then you guys just switch out every other time?” Pidge said and I frowned at her.

“Then what about you then, Pidge? You just want to hog Hunk all to yourself!”

“That’s you Lance.” She said irritably. “I’m suggesting you switch out so I can actually have a chance to be comfortable.”

“What are they talking about?” I heard Keith say to Hunk.

“Well Lance likes to cuddle when he watches movies and he’s kinda clingy but at the same time he sprawls so that cramps Pidge sometimes.” Hunk explained.

“Well isn’t anyone going to consider where I want to sit?” Keith asked.

“No.” Pidge and I said in unison.

“This is a cuddling family so either you snuggle up or leave.” I said crossing my arms, Pidge nodded beside me.

“Well at least they’re agreeing on something.” Hunk sighed, he sat in his usual spot, knowing that the only seat that would end up changing would be mine, I never won arguments with Pidge.

“Lance you know how this is going to end just accept it.” Hunk said from the couch, waiting on us.

“But I don’t want to sit next to Keith!” I yelled and Keith threw his arms up in the air.

“Lance you just said to snuggle up or leave.” Hunk chided.

“FIne.” I muttered and crossed my arms.

We all climbed onto the couch, Pidge on the far left, Hunk to Pidge’s right, Keith next to Hunk and me next to keith.

“I don’t know how I feel about this.” Keith said, squished between me and Hunk. Our couch was not very big, perfect for three but not so much for four.

“Shut it.” I said punching the pillow beside me for a more comfortable position.

I sat there and continued to squirm, trying to find a comfortable position while still trying to stay away from Keith.

Sadly it wasn’t really working and no matter how much I hugged a pillow I wasn’t comfortable.

I shoved my arm behind Keith’s back. “What are you doing?” Keith shouted in surprise and Hunk smiled at him sympathetically.

“Getting comfortable.” I said simply before throwing my other arm around him and positioning my legs to the side of me. Keith tugged his arm out and reluctantly put it around my shoulder.

“You are clingy.” He commented, trying to shift again.

“Shut up and stop moving around so much. You’re going to ruin my position, it’s bad enough that you’re thin and not that soft, if you’re going to cuddle with someone it’s got to be Hunk.” That was a lie I was actually really comfortable but I just didn’t want to admit it.

“I’m so sorry that I’m not an acceptable substitute for you princess.” He said rolling his eyes.

“I bet you wouldn’t even pass the preliminaries in a cuddle contest.”

“You say that but you seem to be getting pretty comfortable clinging to me like that.”

“Am not.”

“Will you two shut it already, I want to start the movie before the popcorn gets stale.” Pidge yelled at us.

After the movie ended we decided to play some Mario Kart. I kicked everyone’s ass, except Hunk, I can never beat him because he’s the ultimate Mario Karter. By the time we decided to take a break for snacks and a bathroom trip it was already late into the night, too dark to go home safely.

While Pidge lay sprawled out on my couch I went looking for Hunk, who I found passed out in my bed. “Lance! I’m taking your couch for the night!” Pidge yelled from the living room. When I rushed out to protest she had already buried herself under a mountain of pillows and blankets, no way I was getting her out of that.

“Well where the hell am I going to sleep then?” I muttered aloud before remembering there was one other member of the group, one who lived right next door. I slowly turned to look at Keith. “Hey buddy,” I began but he cut me off.

“No Lance.”

“Oh come on! Can’t you spare just a little bit of sympathy?” I said, slowly walking to him.

“I said no.” He stated quietly.

“But whyyyy?” I huffed.

“Just… because.”

“You don’t even have a real reason do you?” I asked.

After a moment’s hesitation he sighed, “Fine, you can stay on the couch.”

“Yay! Let me just get my stuff.” I cheered before rushing out of the room. I grabbed a small bag with my face washes and my toothbrush, I wrote a note to Hunk and Pidge and left the apartment with Keith.

When we walked through the door we saw Shiro laying like a starfish on their pullout couch, snoring.

“Shiro, why are you on the couch?” Keith asked after waking him up.

“We broke my mattress don’t you remember?” He said in a raspy voice, his hair was messy and man was he an attractive guy.

“Well then what are we going to do with that?” Keith gestured towards me but before i could retaliate, Shiro was already speaking.

“There’s enough room for both me and Lance.” I felt my face turn red and a smile forming on my face.

“I’m okay with that.” I interjected before anyone could say otherwise. Keith just continued to stare at Shiro.

“Lance could I talk to my brother for a bit, alone.” Keith said, I didn’t protest for once, this wasn’t a question. “Please go wait in my room.” He said a bit softer this time.

I went to his room and sat on the bed looking around. It felt strangely empty without Keith there with me. Probably just cause this is his room, so of course Keith is paired with this place in my mind, that’s definitely why.

Keith POV

I waited to make sure that Lance was out of earshot before I began talking to Shiro.

“Do you really think this is such a good idea Shiro.”

“Well why not? Lance is my friend too I think?”

“Well wouldn’t it be weird? You’re his teacher, plus if anyone finds out won’t that ruin your career?” I don’t know why I was arguing this so much.

“Keith it’s not like I’m in a relationship with him or anything so there’s nothing for me to get fired for, maybe a slight slap on the wrist.” He said waving his hand at my remarks.

“Okay but…” I began.

“Keith why are you so insistent on this? You really don’t want me to share a bed with Lance? Is that cause you liiike him, you’re jealous. You want to be close to a certain Cuban sweetheart.” Shiro mocked.

“No I don’t Shiro, you know he’s not even my type.” He was but I didn’t want to admit to my brother that I thought he was cute. Wait what am I thinking, he’s not cute he’s obnoxious. “Do you really think there will be enough room for you and Lance, being the beefcake you are?”

“You make a good point there. Fine, I’ll sleep in your bed but don’t get mad if I mess up your pillows.” He said with an exasperated sigh. “Lancey-poo your boyfriend is ready for you!” He shouted before opening the door to my bedroom.

“I hate you and you’re going to be catching hell for that later.” I said.

“What’s this about a boyfriend?” Lance said while Shiro walked past snickering.

“Nothing, just ignore him.” I answered.

Lance disappeared into the bathroom for about thirty minutes saying something about beauty taking work. I simply rolled my eyes and brushed my teeth at the kitchen sink. Lance, I realized, was a bathroom hog.

After that we both lay in the cramped bed, with Lance laying on my right. I thought again about how Lance and Shiro definitely wouldn’t have been able to fit. I couldn’t sleep so I turned over and faced Lance, he lay on his back and turned his eyes from the ceiling to me.

“Can’t sleep?” I asked, it was probably a stupid question but what else was I supposed to say?

“Yeah, you too?” He said back, I simply nodded. “When I can’t sleep I usually go sit outside by the tree, probably way too cold for that right now though.” Lance sighed and looked back at the ceiling.

Bright moonlight filtered in from the open window, the curtains billowing in the early spring breeze. Wait why the fuck is the window open? Oh well. Lance turned onto his side and faced me. We stared at each other for a few seconds before I attempted to break the silence, “Well we can always go see?” I suggested, he nodded slowly.

I slid out from under the covers into the cool night air and walked softly to the box of jackets we had stacked in the corner. I grabbed a generic hoodie for myself and one of my old oversized ones for Lance. After I handed it to him and he put it on we left the apartment.

We sat under the tree and looked up at the clear night sky and vibrant moon. Lance rubbed his hands together and sighed.

“Cold?” I asked, he only shrugged his shoulders ‘a little bit’ he seemed to be thinking. He was strangely beautiful sitting in the dark night, the moonlight shining on his skin, his cheeks were flushed from the cold. Maybe it was because he wasn’t going on about something stupid like he usually was. “Do you want to go inside?” He shook his head. I thought for a second before I slid closer to him and held out my hand.

“What are you doing?” He finally spoke after regarding me with one eyebrow cocked.

“Just give me your hand.” I said impatiently, he looked at me for a second before hesitantly placing his hand in mine. I held it softly and slid both of our hands into my pocket.

“What about my other hand?” He said.

“Shut up this is the best I can do.” I said back, feeling myself blush a little bit, what was I thinking?

Lance smiled and slid even closer to me, “You’re a weirdo.”

“Shut up.” I said embarrassed, I looked back at the sky. Lance did the same.

We didn’t say anything after that for a while. I looked at him from the corner of my eye, his head rested against my shoulder. When I looked back to the sky I felt him squeeze my hand gently, I squeezed back.

Soon it got too cold for us to stay so we headed back upstairs, I kept holding Lance’s hand in my own until we stepped through the threshold of my apartment. We both took off our jackets, he crawled under the covers while I went to close the window, then I followed suit.

“Thanks for staying out there with me for so long.” He said softly.

“Don’t worry about it.” I said.

“But it was cold.” He hesitated.

“It’s really okay Lance.” I smiled at him. “My hands are still a little cold though.” I placed my hand in the crook of his neck and he giggled sweetly.

“Stop it Keith it’s cold.” His voice sent shivers down my spine, I rested my hand on his cheek and continued to look at him. His skin was soft, along with his expression. I couldn’t help but let my eyes wander to his slightly parted lips. My chest felt tight and my throat was dry.

“Hey Lance?” I heard my voice crack, smooth Keith.

“Yeah?” I watched his mouth move and form beautiful words, well anything that came out of his mouth at that moment would have been beautiful to me. Actually no, not exactly anything. I snapped my attention back.

“Can I…” I trailed off, not exactly knowing what I was going to say but at the same time I did know. I couldn’t bring myself to say it though.

“Can you what?” Lance said confused, he place his hand atop mine.

“No, nothing never mind. Let’s try to go to sleep.” I said pulling my hand away and turning over. For shits sake what were you thinking Keith.

*Lance*

After getting back from being outside, Keith and I talked for a few more minutes. My heartbeat quickened whenever Keith would smile at me. He began to ask me something and I had to snap myself out of the trance I was in.

“Can I…” He began but stopped. Oh god is he going to ask what I think he is? My heart pounded and my skin burned from where his hand rested on my face.

“Can you what?” I asked, I pressed my hand to his, it was cold, just as it had been outside.

He shook his head, muttering something he turned around. I felt disappointed for some reason. I thought he was going to ask to kiss me but I guess I was wrong, oh well. I’m looking too far into things, I need to get a girlfriend.

Chapter Text

Lance

I woke at the sound of the doorbell ringing. I opened my eyes and found myself in an unfamiliar place that most certainly was not my bed. I turned over sleepily to be faced with Keith’s sleeping form. Oh right, I stayed at Keith’s. I closed my eyes and was drifting off to sleep when the bell rang again and footsteps crossing the apartment. By that time I was pretty much already asleep, snuggling to the warmth beside me.

Shiro

I walked passed the living room to get to the door, I passed my brother and his friend sleeping soundly on the couch. I opened the door to be met with two more of my brothers friends, who were also my students. “Great, just what anyone would want: a house full of teenagers.” Oops, didn’t mean to say that out loud.

“So your Lance’s new neighbor, cool.” Hunk said ignoring my comment.

“Lance left us this.” Pidge handed me a note that read, ‘I’m off to a land of hot guys, don’t wait up.’

“Okay but how did you know that this was here?” I asked moving out of the way for them to come inside.

“Deduction.” Pidge said.

“Well both Keith and Lance were gone, which Keith could easily have left on his own, but they had been talking about stuff we didn’t know about, meaning that they hung out outside of the friend group. But they bicker so much we figured that they didn’t go out of their way to meet up. So we assumed that Lance went with Keith to his place, but considering it was late at night when they left it couldn’t have been far. Then there’s the fact that Lance just happened to get new neighbors when a new teacher and student came to town. Which could have been totally coincidental but you and Keith came to the cafe, plus Keith asked you for permission to leave so it would be safe to say that you’re looking after him if you aren’t his legal guardian. So we just thought to knock on the door and we turned out to be right.” Hunk said in a long winded explanation.

“Right. Well the two of them are on the couch over there.” I pointed in the direction and saw Pidge run past me and onto Lance, forcing him awake.

Lance

I jolted awake at the sudden weight that was pressed on me. I opened my eyes and saw Pidge looking down at me, pressing against me with her grubby goblin hands. “What the hell do you want? Get off of me.”

“Nothing, I just wanted to see what would happen.” I groaned and rolled over, forcing Pidge off of me. I was met with the half asleep glare of Keith.

“You’re loud.” He said.

“And you’re too close, go away.” I nudged Keith to the side, trying to make myself room.

“You’re the one who was on top of me all night.” Keith muttered pushing me back, a bit harder.

“That’s because it was cold.” We got into a shoving match that resulted in me on the floor. I yanked the blankets off and balled myself up in them. “You may have won that round but I got the blankets.” I jokingly gloated.

“Oh my god you’re so annoying, is it possible for you to shut up for more than one second?” Keith said angrily, my heart stung at his words.

“Well maybe if you weren’t such a social outcast you’d know that friends joke around with each other, or are you too emotionally stunted to get that through your stubborn head?” I retaliated quickly.

“Hmm, I’m not sure, are you overcompensating for something or just that fucking egotistical? God you act like you’re so amazing when you’re just some desperate wannabe who can’t take a hint.” He spat out, I clenched my fists and tried to control the new tears I could feel threatening to spill.

“I may be a loser but you’re just some dick who doesn’t have any friends.” I turned on my heels and walked out of the apartment before anyone could stop me. When I heard the door shut behind me I took off at a sprint, wanting to be as far away from that place as possible.

Keith
I heard the door shut behind Lance, I wanted to run after him and apologize, but I knew I had no right to after saying the things I did to him. My mouth was dry and I couldn’t move from the spot I was standing. Someone was talking to me but I couldn’t hear them. I went to my room and locked the door behind me, I sat on the edge of my bed and buried my head in my hands.

I closed myself off and ended up hurting Lance. I fucked up our new friendship because I tried to cover my own ass. Some friend I am. I felt something warm drip down into my hands, tears flowed freely from my eyes, how long had I been crying?

He was right, I am just some jerk. I never deserved him in my life but yet there he was, and then I ruined it just like I ruin everything else. I thought of Lance’s smile, I may never have that radiance pointed in my direction again. That happy memory was replaced with a face of hurt. Lance was everything while I was nothing. His beautiful eyes, soft expression, kind personality, everything about him was so captivating to me. Meanwhile I was always the outsider looking in, living a shit show that no one would ever want to be a part of.

I was so caught up in trying to push him away that I ignored his feelings and my own. What I failed to notice was that I really liked Lance, I would do anything to be a part of his life again. You’d think I’d have learned my lesson after last time.

Lance

Before I realized it, I was in a park, sitting on a bench watching ducks and trying to wipe away my constant stream of tears. After countless minutes of sitting alone, someone sat down next to me. I looked up and saw a very pretty girl. Her straight black hair stirred in the breeze and her fair skin seemed to shine in the early morning light.

She handed me a slice of bread, I took it from her and looked at it for a moment before taking a bite. “It’s stale.” I sniffled.

“That’s because it’s for the ducks.” She said, trying not to laugh.

“Oh.” I said simply, I was too drained to feel embarrassed.

She smiled, showing off perfectly white teeth, “I’m Danielle, you can just call me Dani though.”

“I’m Lance.”

“Nice to meet you Lank.” She said, I laughed quietly. We stayed silent for a while before she said, close to a whisper, “Why were you crying, Lance?” I looked up from my hands and at her profile, she continued to look forward at the ducks.

“Oh, I just got into an argument with a uh friend… I guess.”

“Girlfriend?” She asked.

“Haha no, no one like that.”

“Must have been a pretty close friend then.”

“What makes you say that?” I asked, curious.

“Well, if you’re crying in the middle of a park over something they said then you must care about them, or at least value their opinion.”

“I wouldn’t go as far as to say that, I actually just met him a few days ago.” She hummed in acknowledgement. “He just said some pretty hurtful things, so here I am, reevaluating my life on a park bench.” I stated dejectedly.

“Okay, but you took it to heart, so you must care for him even a little bit, maybe you just can’t tell at this point in your life.” I looked back at my hands and thought about what she said.

“I guess.”

“So, do you mind telling me all that happened?” She asked, there wasn’t much to tell so I got finished with the story pretty quickly.

“Do you still want to be his friend after this?” She asked crossing her arms.

“I don’t know.” I shook my head. “I just, if he meant what he said I don’t think he would want to be friends with me, even if I wanted to remain friends with him.” I said, before thinking, this has all turned into such a mess.

“Well then think about it like this, either you can run away from what you want out of fear of being rejected and never find out how he really feels, and never talk to this guy again.” I flinched at the thought. “Or, you could go talk to him about this entire situation. The choice is yours.”

“I want to talk to him.” I said with determination.

“Alright, but what exactly are you going to say, are you just going to barge in there and be like ‘hey asshole come talk about this with me’”?

I laughed and shook my head, “No I’ll just talk to him like a normal human would. I should probably head back if that’s the case though.” I stood up with her.

“Let me see your phone real quick.” She said holding out her hand. I reached into my pocket only to remember I didn’t grab it when I left.

“Shit I must have left it at Keith’s.” I said.

“Fine, just put your number in my phone then.” She handed me her phone and I put my full name and number into her contacts.

“Alright then Lance McClain, I’ll be seeing you around, yeah?”

“Sure.” I said back. We parted ways and I made my way back to the apartment building.

When I got there I looked hesitantly up at the windows, what if Keith didn’t want to talk to me afterall? What if I had ruined any chances at being friends with him? I took a deep breath and closed my eyes before opening them once again and walking the short stretch to the front door.

Before I was able to open the door though, I was tackled by Hunk.

“Dude, thank god you’re okay, we were all so worried about you, do you have any idea how long you were gone? Why didn’t you answer your phone? Why are your eyes all red and puffy have you been crying?” He spewed question after question at me but all I could do was hug him.

“I’m okay, I just needed to think about some things is all.”

“Without telling anyone where you were going? Real smart Lance.” He sighed. “Well you’re back now at least so I’ll go ahead and text everyone and let them know. Keith is still up in his room, he won’t answer the door no matter what we do, even after we told him we couldn’t find you.” I nodded.

“I’m going to go try to talk to him.” I said and opened the door leading inside.

“Shiro left the door unlocked.” Hunk shouted after me.

I entered the strangely quiet apartment and went to Keith’s bedroom door, I could hear him shuffling around inside. I took a deep breath before I knocked on the door. “Keith. It’s me, I want to talk to you.” The sound of movement stopped. “Keith I know you’re in there, can you please just open the door?”

“No.” Was all I heard.

“Why not?” I persisted.

“Because I don’t deserve to see you.”

“What the hell are you talking about Keith. Just let me in already.” Keith sighed.

“Lance.”

“W-what.” I refuse to acknowledge that heart flutter.

“Why did you come back?” I could barely hear him and had to press my ear up against the door.

“Well, I don’t know.” I thought about it for a while. “I didn’t want things to end how they did. If there was a chance for us to make up I wanted to take it, I wanted to know if what you said is how you really feel.” I laced my fingers together and leaned against the door, right before I felt it forced out from behind me.

I turned around to see Keith there, his eyes a bit bloodshot, “And if they were.” He said looking uncertain, tugging at the hem of his shirt.

I was taken aback for a moment before saying, “I-I really don’t know, I’d just have to take it and leave I guess.” I said quietly, I prepared myself to fake a smile and walk away. “So, I’m here to apologize, whether you accept it or not is up to you. I’m sorry, Keith, for what I said. I was annoying you and then when it was brought to my attention I lashed out and said things I didn’t mean.”

“No, I should be the one apologizing. I just, I don’t know how to deal with these kinds of things, so I reacted how I taught myself to. I didn’t mean any of what I said.” I smiled. “Except maybe for the annoying thing.” I frowned again, I couldn’t tell if he was joking or not. “But it’s cute, so it’s okay.” My face heated up at his words.

“Shut up.” I said. Just then my stomach growled. “I guess I haven’t eaten anything today.”

“Come to think of it, neither have I.” Scarlet meowed behind Keith.

“I think someone else is hungry too.” I walked passed Keith into his room and sat on his bed, letting the small cat jump into my lap. My eyes landed again on Keith’s knives, they weren’t as creepy as they were the first time I was here.

Keith sat on his bed and leaned back, collapsing on his bed like teenage girls do in the movies. “I’m so tired.” He closed his eyes, now that he mentioned it I was too. I scooted back on the bed and lay down next to him.

I heard the others walk into the apartment. “We better go make sure they’re not at each other’s throats.” I heard Shiro say.

“Nah, I think it’s best to leave them be for right now, but more importantly I’m starving.” Pidge said back. “Some nerve Lance has making me go looking for him before breakfast.” Hunk laughed at Pidge, who was trying to mask how concerned she actually was.

I know I should go out and apologize to them all but I didn’t want to get up just yet. I turned on my side and faced him. I thought about what Dani said, ‘if you’re crying in the middle of a park over something they said then you must care about them’, I looked at Keith’s profile. I stared at his features, admiring the elegant beauty his face held when he was unguarded. I felt my heart swell but I ignored it, passing it off as being happy that we made up.

“Why are you staring at me?” He suddenly spoke and turned his head towards me.

“I wasn’t staring.” I said flustered but still not looking away. I propped myself up on my elbow as he sat up. Still, neither of us looked away. I could feel my face heat up and my body tense when he abruptly reached out and touched my hair. “What is it?” I asked quietly. He just shook his head as his eyes smiled. He continued to run his fingers through my hair and I leaned into his touch until the door opened, startling both of us.

“What are you guys doing?” Pidge asked us, knitting her eyebrows in confusion. “You know what, it doesn’t matter just come eat.” She sighed exasperatedly. She walked out as suddenly as she appeared.

Keith pulled his hand away and avoided my eyes. “Uh, we should go.” He stood up swiftly and walked out of the room. Exactly how am I supposed to feel when he does things like that?

Chapter Text

I hesitated before following after Keith out of his bedroom. I struggled to calm my racing heart as I looked in Keith’s direction. The thought of kissing him came to mind, what would it feel like? Would it be awkward? Who would have initiated it? Wait, why am I thinking about kissing Keith? I like girls… right? My head spun in circles and my cheeks felt increasingly warm as I continued to stare at the other boy.

“Stop staring at me. It’s creepy, you weirdo.” Keith said crossing his arms. I frowned, yeah, no way I could ever like this guy.

“I wasn’t staring, I was just zoning out.” My voice cracked, fuck.

“Yeah zoning out right in the direction of Keith’s face.” Pidge teased. I rolled my eyes and walked over to the now folded up couch, my phone sat on the end table by the window, still charging. I picked it up, I had gotten a text from an unknown number. It must be from Dani. I quickly added her to my contacts before reading her message.

Dani: Hey hey, it’s me dani boy. I hope by the time you stop forgetting your phone and have read this you’ve made up with that dude.

Me: yeah, i have thanks for listening earlier

“Lance breakfast is ready if you want to come sit down.” Shiro called to me from the kitchen, I put my phone back down and walked over to where I saw some lawn chairs pulled up to the table in order to fit everyone.

“Uh I wanted to apologize for earlier, you know for running out and worrying everyone.” I rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly and looked away.

“Well, all that’s important is that you’re back now and things have been patched up between you two. Now sit down Hunk and I made banana pancakes with strawberry parfaits.” The only seat left was next to Keith, my heart rate spiked as we sat next to each other on the overly stuffed dining room table.

“Didn’t you like, just make pancakes the other day?” I asked piling several onto my plate.

“Sure but these are banana pancakes Lance, there’s a difference you know.” Shiro said.

“Right sorry.” I said and laughed. I felt someone staring at me and looked in Keith’s direction, only to see him jerk his head in the opposite direction.

KEITH

Fuck, he almost caught me staring this time. Are things weird between us or is it just me? Am I overthinking things? Probably, but what else am I supposed to do, just sit here and think of nothing? I need to act normal, I almost lost him once, I can’t let it happen again.

“Hey ugly, can you hand me a paper towel?” Nice one Keith, that’s definitely how you show someone you want them to be in your life, just go and insult them.

“I’ll have you know, I’m very beautiful to other people, there must be something wrong with your eyes.” He pressed a paper towel into my hands. Fuck.

“Sorry.” I said under my breath so only he could hear me, the others were busy listening to Pidge talk about something sciency.

“It’s fine.” He said trying to act preoccupied with the food in front of him. Soon after we all finished breakfast Hunk, Pidge, and Lance left for their own homes and I was left with Shiro. I went back into my room and sat on my bed before bringing out my phone and opening up instagram.

Knifekeef: hey, sorry for not talking to you sooner. Its been pretty busy around here since the move

After worrying over if I sounded lame or like I was just coming up with excuses, I hit send, and the reply was almost instantaneous.

Prettyboi01: no worries, so how do you like your new place? I noticed you hadn’t really posted any new pictures in a while so I figured you were busy

Knifekeef: its ok i guess, our apartment is still absolute chaos and ive surprisingly been able to make friends (??) they’re pretty alright but i’m not sure if i’m just being tolerated since i’m the new kid

Prettyboi01: what makes you think that? I’m sure that’s not the case but still

Knifekeef: well i got into an argument with one of them today and some of the things he said really made me think. Everything is fine now but i really don’t want to be that kid that people only hang out with because they feel obligated to.

Prettyboi01: I’m positive that’s not the case, from talking to you on here, I know you’re a pretty great person to talk to. They’re lucky to be able to hang around you in real life.

Knifekeef: can i be completely honest with you though?

Prettyboi01: of course, fire away

Knifekeef: I think i might like one of them, like in a not so friendly way if you know what i mean, he’s the one i fought with. I think right now i really just need to rant about it, is that alright? I mean we haven’t talked for a couple days and all the sudden i come in wanting to rant about something new

Prettyboi01: Of course it’s alright, i like to listen to people’s problems and if you want to rant you should rant

Knifekeef: ok so,,, there’s just something about him and i don’t know how to describe it. He’s so aggravating and nice and arrogant and just beautiful. I don’t know if ive ever felt this captivated by someone i just met a few days ago, like it feels like i’ve been talking to him for months, like he knows me and i know him but i know that that can’t be true because we’ve only known each other for a short period of time. Sometimes things that come out of my mouth that don’t connect with the things i want to say to him and i end up feeling so guilty when i hurt him. Like today, the look on his face hurt my heart so much but what right do i have to feel guilty? I’m the one who made him make that face after all. I want to hold him tight and never let go but at the same time i want him to just leave me alone, i’m so scared that it’ll just be like last time all over again but then when i’m not around him i panic because i can’t always remember what he looks like and then i get frustrated because i don’t know why i feel this strongly about him and i don’t even know how he feels about me. I’m scared of him knowing who i am, scared of intimacy and even though i’m scared of being close with him, all i want to do is spend time with him, i want to knock on my wall and call out to him but then i start thinking well what if you do and after a while he stops responding. What happens when he gets tired of you and ends up leaving lgbvhfckhgv l.hjb;lhbkhgvgtfcfdcu

Prettyboi01: damn, you’ve got it pretty bad for this dude huh

The next few weeks we all spent in relative harmony, or as close we could get since Lance and I still bickered all the time. I avoided spending time alone with him since that day, he seemed to be doing the same. I knew my reason for avoiding him had something to do with trying to smother my feelings for Lance, but I wasn’t exactly sure of his. Maybe ever since that day he really has detested me, and has only been pretending to be my friend for the sake of my feelings and the others’.

All I knew was that recently he had began talking fondly about this Dani girl he had met in the park the same day we fought. No matter how hard I tried to suppress these feelings, jealousy crept up from the pits of my stomach. I felt jealous of the attention she had been getting from him. My entire mind was constantly swirled in a chaotic state of disarray, going back and forth between wanting Lance to reciprocate my feelings and never wanting him to learn I even had those kinds of feelings towards someone of the same sex.

I couldn’t understand, though, why I felt such a strong pull from Lance, I’m not someone who gets attached easily. Or so I had thought before coming here. I mean sure, he was charismatic and had a laugh that could put anyone in a good mood, but that didn’t explain why I developed feelings for him so quickly. I decided to try not to think about it, all it would do is make my feelings for him worse.

It was close to a month at this point since we moved here from Texas and so far things had been going well. No one had found out about me yet, I even had a group of friends. I thought about texting prettyboi01 and asking about how he had been doing, ever since I moved and made friends we haven’t been talking as much. It made me a little sad, he was someone I made a deep connection with almost like the one I had with Shiro. I felt like I could talk to him about anything. The day passed slowly but finally it was lunch and I decided to message him after a while.

Knifekeef: hey what’s up we haven’t talked in like a week

I sent the message and put my phone back onto the table. Looking up at everyone you could see Lance smiling widely at something on his phone. Probably Dani.

“What are you smiling so much at? Is it Dani again?” Hunk asked.

“No, it’s knifekeef.” Lance asked putting his phone away. My blood ran cold.

“Who is… who is knifekeef?” I tried to keep my voice from cracking but it didn’t work well.

“It’s just this guy that Lance has been talking to on Instagram for close to a year now. He runs like some stupid photography account or something.” Pidge said rolling her eyes. I swallowed and looked down at my phone, I had a notification from prettyboi01.

Prettyboi01: nm I’m at lunch with my friends right now it’s half frozen cheese stick day
Along with his message was a blurry photo of the same cheese sticks that sat in front of all of us.

“It’s not stupid he’s actually really good.” Lance said defensively and if I hadn’t gone completely numb inside I would have been beaming at the compliment.

“Can I see some of his pictures?” I asked trying to sound calm and just slightly uninterested like usual. There’s still a chance that it’s not me right? Lance smiled and scrolled on his phone and held it out to me. It was a picture of a bee sitting on a sunflower that I had taken in Texas last summer.

“This is one of my favorites.” Lance said excitedly. He scrolled through a few others, showing me which ones he liked the most.

“They are pretty good.” It was definitely one of the pictures I had taken and I had no clue what to do. I was sweating and bouncing my leg at an extreme speed, I’d unwittingly become friends with someone I already knew. “Uh, I need to run to the bathroom, I’ll see you guys in class.”

“We’ll come with you, lunch is almost over anyway.” Hunk said getting ready to stand up.

“Uh no that’s ok, you guys are still eating anyway.” I said a bit too fast, before they could respond I picked up my bag and my cardboard tray and was walking towards the door. Instead of going to the bathroom I walked straight to Shiro’s classroom, thankfully the language hall had the same lunch period as my class. I barged in and startled Shiro who had fettuccine alfredo hanging from his lips.

“Jesus christ Keith you scared the hell out of me.” He finally said after swallowing. I sat down at a desk in front of his and slammed my head on the table.

“Shiroooooo what am I going to do?” I groaned in frustration.

“What do you mean, what’s wrong?” He flipped through a stack of assignments, assessing how much time it would take to grade them before turning his attention to me.

“So you know that guy I’ve been talking to on Instagram?” I asked, my face still on the unsanitary and dirty desk.

“The one with the kind of egotistic username? Yeah why?” He crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair.

“Well I found out who he is..” I trailed off and screamed softly into my hands.

“Oh boy, so who is it?” He sounded hesitant to know the answer.

“It’s Lance. Lance! What am I supposed to do Shiro?” I asked dramatically.

“Well why is it such a big deal that it’s him? Shouldn’t you be happy? I mean you’ve been talking to this guy for months.” He continued to eat his lunch.

“Because I told him so much stuff about me. I don’t tell anyone about me so what happens if once he finds out he knows me he doesn’t ever want to talk to me again?”

“Keith I am positive that that isn’t going to happen.”

“Yeah but that’s not all. I like him Shiro, and I totally ranted to prettyboi about how much I liked Lance. I ranted like I had an absolute obsession for him, how am I going to keep being friends if he finds out that’s about him?” I looked Shiro in the eye, I hated admitting to my brother who I had crushes on, it was embarrassing. The bell rang to signal the end of D lunch.

“We can talk more about it at home, only one more class to go then you can think more seriously about what to do.” Shiro said putting the lid back on his lunch and standing up to go open the door.

I left Shiro’s classroom and tried not to look anxious as I walked to my last class. I tried to think about things other than the fact that I was in the same building as someone I told almost everything about myself to, other than Shiro. I felt my phone vibrate several times throughout the next hour or so but I decided to ignore it.

Finally the bell rang to be dismissed and I pretty much sprinted out of the classroom. When I squeezed my way through the throngs of people and out the front door I couldn’t see Lance anywhere. Lance and I had started a routine of walking home together since it was more awkward to walk in the same direction without being together. Maybe it’s a good thing he’s not here. I checked my phone and saw a text from Lance, along with several messages from prettyboi01.

Lance: go on ahead without me, i got detention

Prettyboi01: you know i’ve been having a lot of mixed feelings about a lot of things, its been getting kinda stressful
Prettyboi01: are you adjusting well at your new place?
Prettyboi01: oh i should probably stop messaging you, i’m sure you’re in class
Prettyboi01: you know i’ve been thinking about myself a lot i’ve been having a really tough time being around one of my friends like my palms get super sweaty and it takes everything in me to keep my voice from cracking while we’re talking, oh shit gtg teach saw me

Well I guess that explains why he got detention, but I wonder who he’s talking about. Probably Dani again, all he ever does now is talk about her. I sighed and sat on one of the benches outside to think for a bit. I could feel my eyelids growing heavy and before I knew it I was slumped over, lightly sleeping.

I felt someone touching my hair and I stirred. “Keith wake up, you shouldn’t sleep here.” I heard Lance’s voice and slowly opened my eyes. He was standing in front of the bench I was on, blocking out the sun. I rubbed my eyes sleepily.

“Oh, right. What time is it?” I asked looking around, it took me a few seconds to realize where I was.

“3:20.” Lance replied.

“I guess you’re finished with detention then?”

“Yeah, ended about five minutes ago. Why are you still here? Were you waiting for me by chance?” I could tell he was teasing me, but I wonder how he would react if I said yes.

“No I just fell asleep by mistake.” I said instead.

“Sounds fake but whatever.” He smiled before grabbing my bag. “Let’s go home sleepy head.” He began to walk away and I stood up, following after him. I reached for my bag and felt our hands brush, my heart began to race and I began to feel childish. Why am I getting excited about something so small?

We spent the rest of the walk chatting aimlessly, prettyboi only entering my mind a few times. When we entered our respective apartments I walked straight to my room and collapsed on the bed dramatically. Scarlet came and curled up next to me, purring. I knew that Shiro wouldn’t be home for a few more hours to give me the time management lecture, so instead of doing my homework I laid down next to the cat and fell asleep again.

When I woke up the sun was beginning to set outside of the window. I stood up and grabbed my camera to maybe take a picture of the clouds when I saw Lance sitting under the giant tree, taking a picture of a small flower. I set my camera on my desk and opened the window.

“Hey.” I called out to him as I leaned on the window sill. He turned his head to me and smiled.

“Haha, you look like rapunzel or something.” He moved closer to the building.

“Uh… What?”

“You know like you look like you’re locked in a tower and I’m the prince that’s come to save you. Keith, Keith, let down your mullet.” He laughed and I blushed a little at the implication of him being my prince.

“Shut up, you dork.” I smiled down at him fondly and before I knew it, his camera was raised, shutter clicking. “Did you just take a picture of me?” I asked.

“Yup.” He smiled down at the camera screen before looking back at me, the same smile glued on his face.

“Why?” Who would want to take a picture of me, I never look any good in them.

“Because the lighting was good and so was your expression. You want to see it?”

I hesitated before answering, “I’ll be down in a second.” I pulled my head back in the window before closing it and walking into the living room. I called out to Shiro but when I heard no response I left, assuming he was still at the school.

When I went down to the back Lance was sitting under the big tree, smiling at his camera while he clicked through various pictures. I sat down next to him, close enough for our shoulders to brush. He scrolled to the most recent picture and sure enough, there I was. I was leaning slightly on my forearms out of the rickety old building. The gold light reflected off of my skin, making it seem like I was glowing, my eyes were soft and untroubled as I stared down at Lance behind the camera.

“That’s surprisingly good.” I said indicating to the picture of myself.

“What do you mean surprisingly?” Lance chuckled.

“No, just that I’m not very photogenic so you know.” Suddenly I imagined Lance and I at an old age looking back at old photos of each other, reminiscing about our youth.

“Yeah I’m sure that’s what you meant.” He teased bumping me with his shoulder. Is that something I should read into??

“Can I see some of your other pictures?” I asked trying to move on. He nodded and began scrolling through dozens of pictures, the majority of them being some sort of nature scene.

“They aren’t as good as the pictures knifekeef takes but...” He trailed off and I felt a pang in my heart.

“What do you mean? I think these are just as good if not, better.” I said to him. He looked up at me and I noticed for the first time how close we were sitting.

“You really think so?” His eyes shone with pride along with something else that I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

“Yeah.” I stared at his face and we both paused. Suddenly the air became thick and my breath caught in the back of my throat. I let my eyes flick down to Lance’s lips as I saw him lick them briskly, when I looked back up I was confronted with his eyes. I couldn’t help but feel like the striking blue was drawing me in somehow. I saw him look down quickly before we both slowly began edging towards each other.

I closed my eyes and felt our lips press together softly, I could feel myself melting into his touch. Something I had dreamed about for so long was finally happening, and with someone like Lance no less. My head head was a jumbled mess and I couldn’t help but be a bit dazed. What felt like hours was really only a few seconds, but I still felt the lingering sensation of his lips on my own.

When I opened my eyes though, my feeling of joy was soon replaced by panic as I was met by Lance’s shocked face. “I think it’s about time I get back.” My voice sounded shrill as I stood up quickly and began to run away from Lance.

The next day Lance announced at lunch that he and Dani began dating.

Chapter Text

I didn’t stop until the apartment door slammed shut behind me. I slumped down onto the ground and let out a deep breath. I couldn’t believe that Lance and I had just kissed, what the hell was I thinking? He’s for sure never going to talk to me again after this. Is it time to move schools again? In the midst of my crisis, the door opened behind me and I sprang to my feet and spun around.

“Jesus what’s your problem?” Shiro said taking a step back. Between Shiro and the open door I could see Lance running up the stairs and towards our apartment. I panicked and pulled Shiro into the apartment, locking the door so Lance couldn’t get in.

“Keith open the door, come on, this isn’t fair.” Lance knocked on the door and yelled out.

“What’s going on? What happened?” Shiro turned to me inquisitively. My heart was beating rapidly and I couldn’t seem to catch my breath, the walls felt like they were closing in on me. I turned and sprinted to my bedroom, locking the door behind me. I could hear Shiro opening the door for Lance and Lance’s footsteps approaching my door.

“Keith, buddy, open the door.” He said softly. I ran my hands through my hair and clenched my teeth, hoping I could just ignore him until he left. “It’s not that big of a deal so just open the door and we can talk about it.” He called out hoping for a response.

“Just ignore him and he’ll go away.” I kept repeating to myself under my breath.

“I can hear you moving around you know? Why are you getting so worked up over something so small? Sure, we kissed but it’s not like there was any feeling behind it, just a spur of the momen-”

“God just shut up already, Lance! Leave me alone, I don’t give a fuck about what you have to say right now. I don’t want to talk about what just happened ever again. Now get the fuck out of my house!” I shouted at the closed door.

I didn’t hear anything but silence on the other side of the door for a few seconds before Lance said dejectedly, “Right, sorry. I’ll be going now.” I heard his footsteps receding and threw myself onto my bed. I could feel myself beginning to tear up and I covered my face with my hands. What the hell am I doing? I heard a small knock on my door.

“Keith? Can we talk for a sec?” Shiro said softly from the other side. I tried to make it seem like I hadn’t been crying before standing up and unlocking the door.

“What is it?” I asked curtly. I kept my face lowered, avoiding eye contact with my brother.

“What happened with you and Lance?” He crossed his arms.

“Nothing really.” I said looking off to the side and biting my lip.

“Keith.” He said to me sternly but softly and I let out a sigh.

“Ok we kissed but like he said, it’s not a big deal.” I shrugged my shoulders.

“I’m sorry, I know you really like him.” He ruffled my hair and pulled me into a hug.

“I think I’m just gonna go to sleep now.” I said after he finally let me go. I closed my door again and climbed into my bed, opening my instagram app I saw another message from prettyboi01 but decided to ignore it. I could feel tears streaming down my cheeks and pressed my face into my pillow. Letting out a quiet sob I wrapped my hands around the pillow tightly. This happens every single time and it’s beginning to tear me apart inside. It’s only a matter of days before everyone in school knows that I’m not normal. At this point all I knew what to do was cry.

Lance

After leaving Keith’s apartment I slowly walked over to my own door. After opening the door, I was enveloped in a cold, suffocating silence. I didn’t bother turning on the lights as I walked into my room and lay down on my bed. I rubbed my eyes thinking about what happened moments before. Why did I kiss him? Or rather, why didn’t I dislike it? I took my camera from around my neck and looked at the picture I had taken of Keith. Looking at it I felt a deep aching in my heart, maybe because he had just gotten angry at me? It was a really beautiful picture, I was just a little bit tempted to post it on my Instagram account.

I tried texting knifekeef to talk to him about my situation with Keith but since I didn’t get an answer even after making myself something to eat I gave up. While I ate some soggy chicken nuggets I thought I could hear the sound of someone crying but figured it was just my imagination and ignored it. As I was watching youtube on my phone I got a text from Dani.

Dani: Hey you want to go out on a date with me sometime?

Me: sure

Even though I had just gotten asked out by a really cute girl, I didn’t feel all that excited. I mean I like Dani and everything right? So why am I not jumping for joy? Keith popped into my head once again and I looked back down at the picture on my camera. I thought of the kiss we had just shared, how even though I had kissed another guy I wasn’t uncomfortable with the thought. Actually it was almost the opposite, I thought how nice it felt to have my lips pressed against his, his cheeks turning red contrasting his pale skin, and his half lidded eyes that stared back at me for moments after we parted. My heart began to beat faster, my chest got tight, and it became harder to breathe, but what did any of this mean?

I wasn’t sure what I wanted out of Keith anymore, he had become a dear friend to me but I know I wouldn’t feel this way if I only saw him as just that. But there was no way I like guys right? I mean sure every now and then I may think a guy is attractive but that’s normal isn’t it? But what happens now? How do I act around him knowing that we kissed, I told him it wasn’t a big deal but I’m starting to feel like it was. For now I think I should pretend it never happened.

Keith

The next morning I woke up earlier than usual so I could ride to school with Shiro instead of having to awkwardly walk along with Lance. While in the car with Shiro, I checked my phone and saw several messages left behind by prettyboi01, but I didn’t bother opening any of them. Instead of standing around in the commons area watching my three friends goof around, I sat in silence in my brother’s classroom waiting for the bell to ring. I dreaded the next eight hours, and when the bell rang I jumped so violently that I almost knocked over my chair.

I took a deep breath and gathered my things while walking slowly past Shiro, who gave me a sympathetic smile.

“It’s going to be okay Keith.” He said. I sighed in response and continued my walk of shame to first period.

When I arrived Lance was already there, sat at his seat in front of mine. He tapped impatiently on his desk while looking straight ahead. I began to walk the long way around the desks so I didn’t have to walk right past him. I sat down as quietly as I could but apparently I wasn’t careful enough because Lance whipped his head around and stared at me.

“Where were you this morning? I almost got here late cause I was waiting for you, and then you never showed up in the commons.” He asked, turning his whole body to face me. I avoided eye contact and looked out the window to our left.

“No one told you to wait for me.” I said back coldly. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Lance frown and furrow his eyebrows. Fuck, I upset him, but maybe this is for the best for both of us.

“I waited for you because we’re friends, no one has to tell friends to do those kinds of things for each other. I’m sorry you can’t see that.” He said pointedly and turned back around. My heart squeezed and I bit my lip, I could feel my eyes prickling with tears and put my head down in my arms.

“Ok guys so for the next week or so we’ll be working on some pair projects.” Everyone groaned in response. The teacher rolled her eyes before continuing, “But this time you’ll be allowed to choose your partner.” Everyone looked around excitedly, making eye contact with who they already knew would be their partner. My heart dropped, What was I supposed to say to Lance? I couldn’t do a whole project with him while trying to avoid talking to him. It’ll be too awkward.

“Go ahead and pair up.” Everyone around us began standing up, including Lance. I raised my head in confusion as I saw him walk to the other side of the room. I tried not to think too hard about it, choosing to believe that maybe he didn’t mean for it to be personal. But along the way we made eye contact. He stared at me callously out of the corner of his eye as he kept walking, walking, walking, walking. Straight up to a girl who was sitting alone in the corner of the room. He put on a wide smile and I watched as he asked her to be his partner, while I was left sitting alone among people who didn’t dare to talk to me even on a regular day.

After a few minutes I forced myself to stand, approaching the only person left who was without a partner. “You want to be partners?” I asked blankly.

He sighed before agreeing quietly. I sat at the desk next to him as the teacher handed out the rubrics for the assignment. As we began working, all my partner, Rolo, did was talk to the girl in the pairing a desk over. Leaving me to work on the project alone.

After class I approached Lance and crossed my arms. “Dude what the hell was that about?”

“What do you mean?” Lance asked without expression.

“That whole partner thing, why’d you just walk away from me?”

“Well no one said I had to be partners with you.” He walked out of the door before I could say anything else. All I could do was stand there and scoff dolefully. I followed after him as one by one the kids from my class left. My anger grew while I walked through the hallways, bumping into all sorts of people who I didn’t have time for. By the time I arrived at Shiro’s classroom I was fuming and upset.

I slammed my bag onto my desk and kept my back turned to Lance, who startled at the sudden ruckus. He’s trying to play uninterested and cold huh? Well two certainly play that game. I crossed my arms and looked out the window, with my face out of Lance’s peripheral vision. I allowed my face to drop slightly. I said I’m going to distance myself but it’s much harder than I had originally thought. My heart hurts so bad.

Soon Hunk and Pidge wandered into the classroom. “Hey guys.” Hunk said, addressing both Lance and I.

“Hey bud, how’s your day been?” Lance asked cheerfully. Why bother responding, we’re not going to be friends soon anyway, why not just speed up the process. I hardened my face, hoping to make it look more angry than depressed.

“Not bad, hey Keith, where were you this morning? We were worried about you.” Hunk said smiling affectionately.

“Yeah especially Lancey Lance over here, he was all like ‘where the hell is he you don’t think he got hit by a car or something do you?’” Pidge said, obviously teasing Lance.

“Shut up you know that’s not what happened. It’s just that this ass doesn’t seem to understand how you treat your ‘friends.’” Lance said moodily, putting air quotes around the word friend.

“Like you’re one to talk, after last night I’m not sure you know how to treat your friends, Lance.” I snapped back at him, I immediately regretted it after feeling heat rise under my skin. I whipped my head to look out the window again.

“Sh-shut up!” Lance’s voice was shrill and I could tell he was just as flustered as I was.

“Wait what happened last night?” Hunk asked innocently.

“Nothing!” We both yelled in unison then turned to glare at each other.

“Riggghhht. Well, talk to you in a bit.” Pidge looked at us both weird and slowly walked to her seat.

“I don’t know what’s up with you two but I hope you make up soon.” Hunk said before sitting down in his seat. The bell rang and Shiro looked up from staring at nothing on his desk.

I didn’t bother listening to anything Shiro said, I probably should have, but I figured if it was truly important, I could just ask him later, and I was far too preoccupied in my thoughts to be focused on anything else.

Finally third period ended and it was time for lunch. I wasn’t really looking forward to sitting with Lance but that meant I was one more class from going home. Everything was going as normally as it could with Lance and I flat out refusing to acknowledge each other’s presence. But as Hunk ranted about a new recipe he found online, Lance’s phone vibrated. When he picked it up he grinned wide, I felt a little pang of jealousy. I knew it wasn’t me so it had to have been Dani. Hah, kinda funny how I’m getting jealous of someone who I’m ignoring.

“Is it Dani or knifekeef?” Pidge asked Lance. I jumped at hearing my instagram username being called out like that.

“Dani.” He said while typing something out.

“What are you two talking about?” Hunk asked wagging his eyebrows.

“We’re setting up a date, she asked me to go out with her last night.” He said looking up from his phone. I unconsciously let out a small gasp and looked up from my lunch tray. Everyone’s eyes were suddenly on me, I looked around at the three of them before standing up abruptly. I knew that Lance was straight so why am I running away. It’s my own fault for falling for someone who didn’t want me.

By the time I slammed Shiro’s door shut behind me I was on the verge of letting my tears fall. “Keith what’s wrong?” Shiro asked, voice filled with concern. I felt my mouth start to water, my palms get sweaty, and my stomach turn but I ignored it. I opened my mouth to answer him when I was suddenly overcome with nausea, and throwing up on the floor. “Keith what the fuck!” He exclaimed before rushing over to the garbage can and over to my side.

Hunk

I watched as Keith silently stood up and left the cafeteria for the second day in a row. As he left, I caught a glimpse of my best friend’s facial expression change quickly. For a second he showed a face of concern but also hurt? I wish there was some way for me to know just what happened between them. I mean it was pretty obvious that Keith had a crush on Lance, but I’m worried that something major occured.

Less than ten minutes after Keith had walked away I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.

“Huh, that’s weird I got a text from Shiro.”

“What’s it say?” Lance asked curious. I read it in my head quickly.

Shiro: hey sorry to do this to you while you’re eating lunch but Keith just threw up all over my classroom and I can’t take him home myself, do you mind walking him back to the apartment?

“Oh crap, he says Keith just got sick and he’s asking me to walk him home.” I stood up and began gathering my things.

“Wait I’m coming too!” Lance said and began to stand up with me.

“No, you two stay here, I know you can’t afford to miss any of your next class.” I said shaking my head. All day he’s been acting like he hates Keith’s guts but as soon as Keith isn’t feeling well he wants to come to the rescue. I smiled lightly, knowing that this was proof that this tiff would be over soon enough.

By the time I got to where Keith was the janitor was already there pouring sawdust on Keith’s mess. Keith was sitting out in the hallway with a small trash can in his lap. When Shiro noticed me he rushed out into the hallway.

“Sorry to make you come take care of him.” He said in a concerned tone.

“It’s no big deal, I have an online course fourth period so it’s not a big deal if I leave early.”

“Thanks so much Hunk, there should be some saltines in the pantry and if he needs like ginger ale or something his wallet is in the front pocket of his bag. I have to go get ready for the next class so I have to go. Thanks again.” I nodded and waved as he went back into the room and began talking to the janitor.

“Hey buddy, how are you feeling?” I asked Keith softly.

“Not great but not terrible either, I’m not sick so you don’t have to worry about catching anything from me.” He began to stand up, shakily using the wall for support. I walked to his side and supported him.

“I mean I wasn’t really that worried but if you’re not sick, then what is this?” I asked as we began to walk towards the entrance of the school.

“Stress, anxiety. I dunno.” He said shrugging.

“Hmm, well we should try to hurry and get out of here before the bell rings.” I picked up my speed while trying to watch how Keith was feeling as we walked to my car.

While driving Keith did nothing but stare straight ahead. When we were stopped at a red light I glanced over, he looked pale and his eyes were sunken. “If you don’t mind me asking, what happened with you and Lance?” I could see the corners of his ears grow red as he turned his face away from me.

“Nothing, he’s just annoying.” He said curtly. Lance has always been a little bit annoying, but it never seemed to matter that much before. So Keith’s excuse wasn’t really adding up, but I decided not to press any further.

I parked the car and grabbed Keith’s bag, I helped him up the stairs and into his apartment where he went straight to his bedroom. He kicked off his shoes and collapsed on his bed.

Keith

I took off my shoes and collapsed onto my bed. It felt so good to be laying down.

“Thanks for taking me home Hunk.” I said quietly.

“It’s no problem, you’re my friend so I want to make sure you’re taken care of.” I felt a pang of guilt in my heart. He walked out of my room but soon showed back up with a pack of saltines that we kept in our pantry. He set them on the ground beside my bed. “I’m gonna step out and get you something to drink, I’ll be right back.”

“Wait, Hunk, don’t worry about it, I’m fine now so you can go back to school or wherever.” I said before he could leave.

“It’s really no problem, I don’t have to show up to my fourth period anyway.” He offered again.

“Thanks but I kinda just want to be alone right now.” I said quietly. He smiled and nodded lightly.

“Okay, well feel free to text me if you need anything. I’ll probably just be hanging out next door.” He walked out of my room, closing my door behind him. Scarlet jumped on the bed and curled up next to me. Suddenly all the sleep I lost the night before caught up to me and I could feel my eyelids growing heavy, before I knew it I was already sleeping quietly.

I wasn’t asleep for long before I woke up and went to get a glass of water to drink with the crackers. I locked the door behind me and climbed back in bed. After eating a few crackers and drinking the water I fell back asleep.

Lance

“I’m going in, I’m worried about him Hunk.” I said quietly,

“Yeah but he’s sick, you can’t just barge in.” Pidge said to me in retort. I sighed and tried turning the doorknob, it wouldn’t budge.

“See it’s locked, that’s basically him telling you not to go in.” Hunk said to me.

“It’ll be fine, what’s he gonna do? Puke the moment he sees me? Maybe all you have to do is knock.” I lightly rapped on the door and it swung open. Keith sprinted past me and towards the bathroom. Within seconds I could hear him retching into the toilet.

“Told you all you had to do was knock.” I said as we all looked around the corner and into the bathroom.

“Lance I don’t think now is really the time.” Hunk said to me, grimacing at the sight of Keith leaned over the toilet bowl. Hunk was always a little bit squeamish.

“Lance go comfort him.” Pidge said pointing in Keith’s direction.

“What why me!” I yelled.

“I’m not going near that and you know if Hunk went in we’d have a second person throwing up. Plus you’ve got a ton of young kids in your family you must know some way to deal with this.” I rolled my eyes and stepped towards the bathroom.

“I’m fine, just leave me alone.” Keith stood up, slowly making his way over to the sink. He bent over and began rinsing his mouth out under the faucet.

“You’re getting your hair all wet.” I walked up beside him and tried to pull his hair back for him.

“Get off of me.” He slapped my hands away and stood back up. I looked off to the side and bit the inside of my mouth. He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Oh no, is it already 4? I have to go guys, feel better Keith.” Hunk shouted before walking quickly out of the apartment.

“Lance, take care of Keith. I have to go help Matt out with some science stuff.” Pidge said before walking out as well, leaving me stranded with Keith. I sighed and we looked at each other. I started feeling guilty for all that I had done to him earlier that morning.

“Do you have any hair ties?” I asked him.

“What? No?”

“Okay, well I’ll be back in a few minutes I’m just going to run down to the gas station and pick up a few things.” I was about to head for the door when Keith stopped me.

“Just go home Lance, I can take care of myself you don’t have to force yourself to look after me.” He began walking back towards his bedroom.

“I’ll be back, so don’t lock the door.” I said before walking out of the apartment. I walked to the gas station that was a few blocks away and picked up some gatorade, ginger ale, and hair ties.

When I got back I turned the handle for Keith’s front door and miraculously he hadn’t locked me out. I walked in and set the bags down on the counter. I got a cup full of ice and put a straw in it before walking to Keith’s bedroom door with the bags.

“Keith, I’m coming in.” I said struggling to open the door with my hands full.

“I told you you didn’t have to come back.” He said sitting up in bed.

“Well, so sorry to crash your party.” I set the glass and bags down on his desk and pulled out the ginger ale. I heard Keith get out of bed and walk up right next to me. He looked curiously in the bag while I cracked open the lid of the ginger ale. I could feel his arm brush against mine and my face grew red.

“What did you get these for?” Keith asked inquisitively, pulling out the hair ties.

“Those are to keep your hair back in case you have to run to the bathroom again. Go ahead and tie it up.” Once I had filled the glass I looked over to Keith, who had somehow made a complete mess of his hair in the few seconds I wasn’t paying attention.

“I don’t know how to do this.” He said staring at me.

“Obviously not, turn around I’ll do it for you.”

“No just tell me how to do it.” He said in a guarded voice.

“Just turn around I’ll be able to do it a lot better than you can.” Keith reluctantly sighed and turned around. I stepped a bit closer and quickly worked the hair tie out of all the tangles. I brushed his surprisingly soft hair back with my fingers. When I leaned to the side to make sure I had all of it I noticed that Keith had his eyes closed lightly.

“Do you like have your hair touched Keith?” I chuckled as I finished tying it off.

“No.” His eyes snapped open and he turned around. We were much closer than I remember being. I looked down towards Keith, our height difference made strangely apparent with the close proximity. Fuckkk he’s so pretty with his hair like that. Wait pretty? Did I just call a guy pretty? No, no way that happened. I shook my head, but even though I was denying it I could feel my heartbeat speed up and my face get warm.

“Here, drink some of this it’ll make your stomach feel better.” I handed him the glass, avoiding eye contact.

“Right.” Keith took the glass from my hand. “So are you going home or staying here?” He said expressionless. He must still be upset with me.

“Um, I’m gonna stay here. If that’s cool with you, I want to take care of you.” I took a step back, uncomfortable with us being so close.

“Why, why are you suddenly acting so nice to me?” Keith asked, sitting back down on his bed.

“Well uh…” I hesitated, staring at Keith. He raised one of his eyebrows and sipped his drink. “I guess maybe it’s because I feel guilty.” I sat down next to him, a couple feet away.

“Guilty for what?”

“I don’t know man, last night, this morning? Pretty much anything that’s happened in the past 24 hours.” I said honestly. I crossed my arms and avoided looking Keith in the face. “I know you said you didn’t want to talk about it but this just keeps bothering me. I don’t know why I did what I did last night.”

“What do you mean?” Keith’s voice was barely above a whisper and his eyes were focused on a spot on his sheets.

“I don’t know, it’s like every time I see you my heart gets all fast, my stomach starts to hurt a little bit, my palms start to sweat, and I can feel my face get red. But then last night you just looked so ethereal, and before I knew it we were kissing.” I looked up from the floor and met eyes with Keith. His face looked unguarded and his cheeks were red. “And then this morning it felt like you started avoiding me and I just felt so hurt and frustrated. I feel bad for leaving you to work with someone you don’t know even though I know that makes you uncomfortable and I said such rude things to you.”

“It’s okay, Lance. I should apologize too, I shouldn’t have closed you out like that.” My heart did a flip when he said my name. An awkward silence settled around us and we both looked away from each other.

“So, um do you want to watch a movie or something then?” Keith asked pointing to his computer.

“Sure, I’ll go make popcorn if you put it on.”

“Anything specific you want to watch?” He asked before I walked out the door.

“Uhhh, nemo.” I said the first movie that came to mind.

“Why nemo?”

“Because it’s a national treasure now put on the damn movie.” I walked into the kitchen and put some popcorn in the microwave. Crap we may not be fighting anymore but now it’s super awkward what the hell am I going to do?

When I wandered back into Keith’s room with a bowl of popcorn in hand he was sitting back on his bed, like the first time I had stayed here. The window was open, letting a warm breeze waft in and stir the hair around his neck. I forced myself to look away and sat down next to him. He started the movie once he was sure I was settled, we sat watching the movie to the very end even though he had complained in the beginning.

“You want to find something to eat?” He stood up and placed the half empty popcorn bowl on the floor. I lifted Scarlet off my lap and placed her gently on the bed.

“Sure let’s go.” We walked into the kitchen and I sat at the island while Keith rummaged through the fridge. Suddenly there was a soft thud that came from Keith’s bedroom.

“What was that?” He asked.

“Maybe it was just Scarlet getting off the bed?” I offered.

“I’m gonna go check it out.” He said suspiciously. Thirty seconds later I heard Keith screaming. I spun around in my chair and saw Keith pointing at something inside of his room. I rushed over and followed where he was pointing. Sitting there staring at us was a fucking raccoon snacking on our gotdamn popcorn. I started screaming along with Keith. Scarlet lifted her head and stared at us for a few seconds before slowly putting it back down.

“Why is there a fucking raccoon in your apartment! We’re on the second floor how did it even get up here?” I screamed shaking Keith.

“You think I know? Maybe he was just really determined!” He yelled back to me. Suddenly the raccoon lifted its head from the bowl of popcorn and made eye contact with us and scuttled towards us.

“Oh my god run!” We both scrambled to get out of the doorframe at the same time to get away from the animal who was trying to chase us.

“Quick get up on the island!” Keith pointed at the slab of cheap granite that sat in the middle of the apartment.

“Will it be able to hold both of us?” I asked.

“Does that really matter right now? Now get up there.” We both climbed onto the island, I had to duck to avoid slamming my head into the ceiling. The raccoon looked up at us and made a face like it was taunting us, if that were possible for an animal. “I’m calling Shiro do you have your phone on you?”

“No I think I left it on your bed. Keith what are we going to do??” We continued to scream dramatically while clutching onto each other. “ Keith if we die to death up here I want you to know, you’re a really important person to me and I’m glad you moved here!” I yelled Keith’s screaming.

“Lance I-” We heard something thud behind us and when we turned around we discovered that the raccoon had been able to pull open the cracked door to their pantry and was rummaging through their food. “Oh no, no I keep all my food on the bottom shelf!”

Shiro

I walked through the hallway, dragging my feet after a long meeting when I heard screaming coming from the end of the hall. That better not be who I think it is.

I opened the door to the apartment and sure enough the shouting got exponentially louder. I rounded the corner and looked in the kitchen where I saw two screaming teenage boys clutching at each other and a raccoon picking through our pantry. I sighed before propping open the front door and grabbing a broom. I walked over and began corralling the raccoon over towards the front door while the boys continued to sob while standing on the goddamn counter.

Chapter Text

“How the ever living hell did a raccoon get into the apartment?” Shiro yelled after a particularly long battle with the small mammal.

“It climbed through the window?” I said to him.

“Keith… you’re telling me that a raccoon somehow scaled an entire building and climbed through a window that’s on the second floor?”

“Yes.”

“And so you two, both whole seventeen year olds, decided that instead of trying to chase it off on your own, the better course of action was for the both of you to climb on top of the fucking counter and cling to each other?” Shiro pinched the bridge of his nose as Lance and I looked at each other before pushing away.

“Listen Shiro, that thing was vicious!” Lance said as we both tried to get off the counter.

“It was a raccoon!” Shiro yelled. “No, you know what, I can’t be here right now. I’m going out for a bit.” With that he turned on his heel and left almost as soon as he had come. Lance and I stood alone in the middle of the kitchen. An awkward silence settled over us.

“That was, uh, something else, huh?” Lance said trying to break the tension.

“Yeah, it really was.” I said in a despondent tone. “I’m gonna go out to the store real quick for some snacks, do you want anything?”

“What? I just went a little bit ago, you should have told me what you needed. Let me come with you.”

“No.” I said too quickly. “No, you stay here, I’ll only be a second. I don’t know where I put my key, so you know, don’t want to get locked out.” I walked out of the apartment with my wallet before he could say anything else.

After I had walked away from the apartment a good distance, I slowed my pace. You’re a fucking idiot Keith.

LANCE

After Keith practically ran out of the apartment, I walked back to his room and shut the window. I picked up the now empty bowl of popcorn and put it on the desk before laying down on Keith’s bed, face down on the pillows. I breathed in deeply, it smelled faintly of him. A soothing and faint smell, but still only unique to Keith. My heart wrenched as I continued to lay face down on the bed, I wanted to pull something close to me and cling to it with all my might.

I suddenly remembered the kiss from the day before, and my heart felt like it was being gripped by an invisible hand. It would be wrong for me to want to do it again, right? I’m not into guys, so there’s no way I would ever want that. It’s just that, even though Keith’s lips were a little chapped, I wouldn’t mind it happening again. He’s one of my best friends. A super pretty, smart, funny, and kinda sexy friend. I really love Keith, just like I do with all my friends. I could feel my heart flutter incredibly fast when I thought about how I loved him.

I felt a sudden vibration underneath me and pulled out the phone I was laying on, thinking it was my own.

Shiro the hero: 私はあなたがそれらを好むことを知っています。しかし、前回と同じようにあなたの健康を台無しにしないでください。私はあなたが再びとても痛い何かを通って行くのを見るために立つことができません。

Against my better, and more polite, judgement I pulled out my phone and brought up the google translate app. I highlighted the text that I had taken a picture of, and hit translate hoping that this time it was actually accurate. It translated to “I know that you like them. But do not ruin your health as you did last time. I can not stand to see you go through something very painful again.”

Keith likes someone? I felt something burning settle in the pit of my stomach. My feelings of longing from seconds ago were being replaced by intense feelings I had no right to feel over Keith. He’s my friend, of course I want the best for him. That’s all this feeling is. I put the phone down back on the bed and tried to pretend I had never seen the message before burying my face in Keith’s pillows once again.

I heard the front door open and close and footsteps heading towards Keith’s room. Keith walked in and paused for a second before chuckling and setting something on his desk.

“What the hell are you doing?” He asked.

“Questioning the existence of feelings.” My muffled voice filtered through the room.

“Okayyy, well when you’re done having an existential crisis, I got some chips and stuff to eat if you want.” I groaned in response.

A few minutes later, I heard Keith typing away on the keyboard and looked up. I watched him furrow his eyebrows intensely as he scrolled through something. I couldn’t help but smile slightly as he bit his lip in concentration.

“What are you working on?” I asked after getting up and resting my arm on the back of his chair.

“Oh, uh, just that thing for English, I want to go ahead and do it so I don’t have to bother talking to my partner.” My heart twitched with guilt when I remembered how I just left Keith all alone.

“Sorry about that, maybe we can ask the teacher to change partners?” I suggested.

“It’s fine, don’t bother with it.” He responded. I couldn’t tell if he was still mad about it or just distracted, so I decided to let it go for now.

“Well, I think I’m going to head back to my place, it’s already, like, eight.” I said straightening my back and heading for the door.

“Okay, see you.” Keith offered, looking up from his computer for a short moment. I was already out of the apartment.

KEITH

I let out a long sigh after Lance left and stretched wide. I stood up from my computer, closing the tabs I had open. I pulled out my camera and started taking pictures of anything I thought I could potentially use for my Instagram. Around 9:30 I heard Shiro walk through the door. I could hear a light rain start falling outside and I opened the window before going to meet Shiro.

I walked out of my room, leaving the door open and watched while Shiro clumsily rummaged through the fridge and then the pantry. When he noticed me standing there he faced me and started talking.

“Oh hey, did you get my text from earlier?”

“Uh, I’m not sure. Let me go look.” I walked back into my bedroom and picked my phone up off the desk, quickly reading the text that had gone unnoticed. Shiro walked in behind me after a few seconds.

“I’m just really worried about you Keith, you know I hate to see you get hurt.” He looked at me sympathetically.

“I know, thanks for worrying, but I’m not really sure if there’s any way this situation is avoidable at this point.” I sighed.

“It’s just that, after dad and then almost you too, I’m not sure what I would do if I was left alone.”

“You think I don’t already think about that all the time?”

“I just meant that I wish you’d try to pursue guys that are more…”

“Obtainable?” I cut him off bitterly. “Trust me, I know.”

“No, not obtainable. Healthy for you.”

“It’s just that, every time I see him I’m reminded of James. They’re so similar, but so different and it’s like my brain automatically points out any sort of resemblance in any guy I cross paths with.” I had began to raise my voice and Shiro stayed silent while I crossed my arms in frustration. “I’m fine, I promise I won’t do anything rash. You don’t have to worry about me.” I tried reassuring him.

He looked at me suspiciously before saying, “Fine, just please let me know if you ever need to talk about anything.” After saying that he left. I watched as he quietly closed the door to his room.

I shut my own door and locked it before breaking down into tears remembering the boy I fled Texas over. I grabbed my phone and vented the only way I knew how without direct contact with a person. I logged onto my knifekeef Instagram account and selected a photo to post. It was a picture of one of my old friends sitting in front of a long window at night, only their frame illuminated by the moon.

I began writing the caption which ended up being, “Shouldn’t it be time for me to forget about him? He treated me worse than a piece of garbage floating in the ocean. But he’ll never know how much I cried the day I left, how much I still cry over him and to be honest, I still miss him. The thing that hurts the most is, that things will never be the same. I’ll keep waking up in the morning from dreams I can’t remember, about people I can’t go back to.” I hit the post button and sat on my bed with my camera.

Scrolling through the all the pictures I had taken of him throughout the years, I let my tears flow free, more than occasionally letting out a loud sob and strangled cry. I had absolutely no clue what to do anymore as I watched teardrops fall onto the display of my camera.

I was interrupted by my phone vibrating loudly several times in a row. I was going to ignore it, thinking it was just likes on my post, but I was compelled to pick it up. When I did, I noticed that there was indeed several notifications showing likes, but there was also a dm from prettyboi01 and a text from Lance.

prettyboi01: Please answer me, I’m really worried about you

Lance: Meet me in the hallway for a second

I wiped my face and tried my best to make it look like I hadn’t been crying, even though I knew that was impossible.

I quietly opened and closed the door, praying that Shiro was already fast asleep. When I stepped out the door I was met with dim light from the streetlight a few hundred yards away and Lance standing between our two apartments. Before I could say anything, he enveloped me in a hug too tight for me to break free of. I could feel heat rising to my cheeks

“What are you doing?” I asked trying to keep my voice stable.

“Trying to make you feel better… why were you crying.”

“How did you know I was crying?”

“Your window is open and the walls are thin.” I felt my face heat up even more, but I wrapped my arms around his side and placed my forehead on his shoulder as I felt more tears well up.

“I miss him so much.” I said quietly.

“Who are you talking about?” Lance asked. All I could do was shake my head. “Well I don’t like seeing you cry alone, I love you… you’re one of my best friends.” I felt my heart soar and get yanked back to earth all in a span of five seconds, and I couldn’t help but to cry even harder. Not knowing what to do, Lance rubbed my back as we continued to hug.