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English
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All The Undertale Floof
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Published:
2018-02-12
Updated:
2018-06-19
Words:
13,927
Chapters:
6/?
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79
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65
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The Great Papyrus, Cat-Sitter Extraordinaire!

Summary:

Fell is forced to take a vacation with Red and the Swapbros. He needs someone to cat sit for him, and make sure Slim doesn't get into trouble. Of course who else could he turn to but the Great Papyrus!

AKA: When our favourite Undertale skeletons get to spend quality time with the Swapfell brothers, all while trying to babysit Fell's cat. Undyne and Alphys also get involved. It's as ridiculous as it sounds.

Chapter 1: Day One

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

“Mornin’ Pap.” Sans announced tiredly as he came down the staircase. Not that Papyrus could consider it morning any more, seeing as it was already 10:30 and the afternoon nearly here. He had no time to worry about Sans oversleeping though. Their guest would be here any minute and he still had more to clean!

“Now is not the time Sans!” Papyrus responded absently as he ran around the room with a dust rag. “The others will be here any minute and I'm not done cat proofing the house!” Sans glanced around with a raised brow bone, looking over the immaculately clean room now devoid of all nicknacks and breakable wears.

“I don't know bro. Looks pretty good to me.”

“That's because your not paying attention!” Papyrus huffed as he ran over to their pet rock with a brush and dustpan in hand. Swiftly he swept up all the old sprinkles and deftly poured them into the trashcan, closing the lid and setting his hands on his hips. “Now it’s cat proof!” Papyrus announced quite smuggly.

“Heh, that it is.” Was Sans’ only response as he plopped himself lazily on the sofa. Papyrus didn't have time to be nagging him about it though, instead running to the kitchen and removing his apron. Just as he was placing it in the drawer a loud zapping noise sounded from below, causing the floor to shake.

“They’re here!” Papyrus ran to the basement door, opening it just in time for a rather irritated looking Fell standing on the top step. He stepped in with a rolling bag and a pet taxi. The creature inside was growling angrily, though his owner didn't seem perturbed in the slightest. Fell wasn't wearing his normal attire, instead sporting a black leather jacket and a bright red Hawaiian shirt underneath, most likely provided by Blue. Slim came in next carrying a duffle bag, with Red trailing behind wearing a pair of sunglasses and a stained magenta shirt matching Fells.

“Hello everyone!” Papyrus chimed. Fell grunted and set the pet carrier down, carefully walking around the first floor and examining every nook and cranny. Papyrus wrung his fingers nervously, sweat starting to speckle his skull. He hoped it was acceptable, he didn't know how to best prepare his home for Doomfanger. Apparently Fell was satisfied, taking the carrier away from everyone and opening the door. No cat ran out, but perhaps he was just being shy? Fell wasn't bothered, instead ready to get right to business.

“I prepared a list of everything you’ll need to know.” Fell took out a fifteen page binder with neatly labelled tabs. He began flipping through the pages and explaining each section. Sans sat awkwardly on the couch, seeming more concerned about Slim’s obsessive arm scratching.

“Come on pal, I’ll show ya where you’ll be sleeping. Paps got the whole thing setup.” Sans took Slim’s hand and led him up the stairs, distracting him enough to stop his nervous clawing. Red was clearly board himself, deciding to waltz over to the kitchen and audibly rummage through the fridge. Papyrus ignored him, instead trying to listen intently to what Fell had to say. There was so much for him to remember, not that he couldn't handle it! He just never realized how much care a fifteen year old cat would need. He would do his best of course, and Doomfanger was sure to be super comfortable here even if it killed him!

“Excellent Edgy-me! This will be no problem at all and I’m always happy to watch Doomfanger for you! Though I must ask why Slim couldn't do so? I mean since he's been living with you two and all-”

“Based on his… destructive habits, I prefer he not be left alone for long periods.” Fell cut the other off. The dark skeleton wasn't being specific, but if Slim’s chiselled arm scars and claw marks were anything to go by then he had a decent idea.

“Anyway, be sure to crush two blue pills each morning and mix them with his wet food.” Fell pulled out a green pencil case with ‘Doomfanger’ written across the top in sharpy. “The white pills are for his arthritis, crush one of these up at 5:30 every evening and mix with his dinner.”

“Right, two blue pills in the morning and one white one in the evening. The Great Papyrus can remember!” He posed confidently, though his double wasn't finished.

“These last few pages are on Slim’s care.”

“... Slim’s care?” Papyrus asked a bit unsettled.

“Yes.” Fell responded as if writing down a functioning adults personal care was completely normal. He pulled out an orange pencil case labeled ‘Slim.’ “It lists the medications he takes and what times he needs to have them… He tends to forget when left to himself.” Papyrus nodded stiffly. He still wasn’t completely comfortable with this, but Fell does tend to be a bit overbearing. He could see his dominating counterpart behaving rather… maternally towards their weaker self. Papyrus could certainly see himself being a great mother given the opportunity, so why not Fell?

“Do not worry Edgy-me!” Papyrus struck a new confident pose. “The Great Papyrus will take great care of both house guests! So you will have nothing to worry about on your trip!” The dark skeleton nodded.

“Good. Now remember, it's a four week trip in the Swap-verse, so that translates to fourteen days here. We'll be back the Monday after next.” Papyrus eagerly nodded.

“As I said, no need for you to worry!” Papyrus chimed while pushing Fell towards the basement door. “Now don't be late for your flight, and enjoy yourself!” Fell looked like he was about to say something else before Red ported to his side holding a bottle of lemonade.

“Seriously Boss any longer and you'll be late for the first time in your life.”

“The Terrible Papyrus is never late for anything!” Fell growled indignantly but gawked as soon as he checked his watch. “Farewell Slim we shall see you soon!” Fell shouted before grabbing his brother's collar and dragging him down the stairwell, yanking him hard enough to nearly spill his stollen beverage. Within a few seconds the machine whirled to life and a bright flash could be seen from upstairs.

“Have fun!” Papyrus waved as the two vanished, inhaling deeply with renewed vigor. Time to finish setting up! He went over to the luggage bag Fell had left him, unzipping it to reveal everything he would need. A litter box, cat food, litter, a scope, two bowls, toys. The only thing missing was a full sized cat tower. Sans came out of Papyrus’ bedroom, walking downstairs by himself.

“Where is Tiny-me? We have so much to do!” Papyrus said eagerly.

“Left him upstairs to unpack. He was rather surprised by the creation you made.”

“But of course brother, who else could make the best pillow forts other than the Great Papyrus!”

“That’s why your the coolest.“ Sans began. “So, did Doomfanger come out yet?” Papyrus shook his head.

“Not yet, but perhaps he is just shy? Or needs encouragement?” Papyrus stepped over to the pet taxi and peaked inside. A single slit yellow eye stared back at him through the darkness, not making any movements. “You can come out Doomfanger. The house was prepared just for you!” The cat didn’t respond, instead blinking up at the tall skeleton and making no movements.

“What’s wrong buddy?” Sans came over and asked. “Cat got your tongue?”

“Sans no!” Papyrus whined.

“Sans yes.” the shorter responded while pointing his fingers at Pap. A loud snarl came from the carrier and a big black paw swatted at Sans’ foot. The skeleton jumped back a bit in surprise.

“See Sans! Even Doomfanger can’t stand your puns!” Papyrus gestured to the pet taxi.

“Huh, guess I’m pussing my luck with this guy.”

“Sans!” Papyrus manifested eyeballs in annoyance, but a chuckle from above snapped him out of it. Slim was standing questioningly on the catwalk above the brothers, unsure if he should intervene or not.

“Ah, Tiny-me! Perhaps you can help us with this kitty conundrum! He’s being rather rude to Sans and won't come out.” Slim nodded before porting downstairs near the pet taxi.

“Here kitty.” Slim whispered in a slightly higher pitched voice. Slowly he reached his arms in and pulled out a huge beast. The thing had scruffy black fur, was missing an ear and half its tail, and had a clearly blind right eye. He was scarred up and mean looking, with the two lower canine teeth jutting out like a bull dogs. Slim carefully adjust the eighteen pound slab of muscle in his grip, making his way over to the couch and taking a seat. The scarred creature seemed to be content in Slim’s arms as it started to make a low rumbling noise that was probably this cat's version of purring.

“He doesn't like Red.” Slim said quietly while rubbing the creature’s chin.

“I could have guessed.” Sans said from the far side of the room. At some point he made his way to the stairwell and was looking at Doomfanger quiet warily and with an ounce of… Fear? Disgust? Either way he didn't seem too excited with the thing upon meeting it. “I'll let you two get comfortable.” The short skeleton swiftly walked to his bedroom and shut the door behind him. Huh, how strange. Papyrus would have to file that away for later. Right now, however, was time to plan.

“Alright Tiny-me! We have a lot of things to do this week! Luckily I made up an itinerary for your time here!” Papyrus pulled out a whiteboard on a tall stand. The schedule of activities was taped to the board and color coded, each page lined up in order. “Let's start off with today's schedule first. We’ll-” Papyrus turned around to see Slim sitting with his sockets closed and skull crooked to the side. He was breathing deeply and Doomfanger was laying on his lap, or spilling off of his lap due to the cat’s size. The maimed beast looked up at the skeleton with its half opened good eye and made a guttural noise. Papyrus wasn’t sure if it was a growl or a meow, either way it remained unsettling. “Hmmm, maybe I’ll make lunch first then go over todays activities after that?” Papyrus aimed the question at Doomfanger, who responded with a deep meow. “I’ll take that as a yes then.”

Notes:

Oh boy, Papyrus cat sitting with no idea what he's doing! What could possibly go wrong?

Maybe Undyne will have a few tips for him...

Comments are always appreciated.