Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Bucky was fuming as he pulled you onto the quinjet. He couldn’t believe how reckless you had been, rushing into a room of hydra operatives on your own, risking your life for a damn flash drive. His heart damn near stopped when he saw you run in. You could have died. He could have lost you. “What the hell were you thinking?” He said more than asked, voice low but anger clear.

You gaped at him, pulling out of his grasp, “What was I thinking?” you mirrored, voice a few octaves higher than normal. “What the hell were you thinking? That was our last chance to get those files! Now the mission is-”

“Fuck the mission!” he snapped, catching you off guard. He never yelled, he hated yelling. He hated making himself any shan he already was. But damn it, you could have died! “You put your life in danger for a god damned flash drive.” He said, regaining control of his voice.

You narrowed your eyes, “I was doing my job. The whole reason Fury sent us here was for that flash drive!” You pointed in the direction of the hydra base Bucky had just dragged you out of.

Bucky took a deep breath as he sat in the pilot’s seat, “Almost getting killed is not your job.” He half mumbled. He didn’t want to fight, he wasn’t even angry at you. He was angry at the situation. At the fact that you felt the need to take such a drastic measure in the first place.

You took your place next to him in the co-pilot’s seat as he began to take off. “If I were afraid of dying, I wouldn’t be an avenger.”

Frustration coursed through him. You were as bad as Steve, you never knew when to back down and try another day. And as much as he loved that about you normally, it was another thing entirely when it risked your life. “That doesn’t mean you should take stupid pointless risks like you did today.” He countered, turning on the autopilot. “The mission was already a failure, they knew we were coming, and rushing into a room filled to the brim with Hydra agents wasn't going to change that.”

“You can’t know that!” You argued, throwing your hands in the air. “You pulled me out before I could even try!”

“You were going to die Y/N!” He reiterated for the umpteenth time. “You aren't a super-soldier! I couldn’t even take that many men at once!”

You growled in frustration, fisting your hands in your hair. “That is your obsession with me dying? You wouldn’t have said anything if I were literally anyone else!”

“Je to proto, že tě miluji!” Bucky answered, although the way he said it sounded more like a curse than a confession.

“Stop that!” You snapped, “Stop talking to me in languages I don’t know! It’s driving me nuts!” You stood up abruptly, “Actually, don’t talk at all. I’m done with this conversation. You can explain to Fury why we don’t have the flash drive.” You finished before stomping to the back of the jet.

Bucky sighed, regret eating away at him. He wasn’t sorry that he stopped you, but God knows he could have handled everything else better. The rest of the trip was spent in silence, making his heart ache. Normally coming back from missions with you was the best part of the mission. You always knew how to cheer him up, make him feel better after a long day in the field. But he didn’t want to push it, it wasn’t your job to make him happy. Instead, he gave you the space you wanted, hoping it would let you feel better at the very least.

You were off the quinjet as soon as it landed before Bucky could even try to say something or stop you. He sighed once more as Steve greeted him on the ramp. “Is everything alright Buck? Y/N seemed upset.”

Bucky ran his hands through his hair. “The mission was a failure, and I yelled at them for being reckless. So you could say things could have gone better.”

Steve looked at Bucky, concerned. It was rare for Bucky to lose his temper with anyone, especially you. “What did they do?”

Bucky rubbed his face, “Ran headfirst into a room filled with Hydra operatives in the vain hope it could turn the mission into a success.” Bucky paused as Steve opened his mouth to speak. “If you say you would have done the same thing, that’s the entire issue.” Steve closed his mouth with a sheepish smile.

He grabbed Bucky’s shoulder and squeezed it. “Come on, let's debrief with Fury. You can talk to them about the mission once you’ve both had time to relax.” Bucky nodded, not wanting to confront you any further, and followed Steve into the meeting room.

It was nearly five hours later when he finally worked up the guts to knock on your bedroom door. “Coming!” You announced as he heard you somewhat clumsily roll out of your bed and stumble to your door. The door swung open and the entire speech Bucky had in his mind vanished in an instant. “Bucky.” You said with a level of uncertainty in your voice.

“Doll I-”

“No, I should-”

“Wait let me-”

“Bucky-”

“I’m sorry.” The two of you finally said in unison, surprising you both.

“Why are you apologizing?” You asked, “I nearly got us both killed.”

Bucky grimaced at the thought, “I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I was scared Doll, you scared me half to death back there.”

You winced, “I was just so focused on the objective, I wasn’t thinking properly about the potential consequences.” You swallowed, “I never even considered that I could have gotten us both killed.” You finished, stressing the word ‘both’.

Bucky scratched the back of his head, he hadn’t actually considered that either. “I just don’t want you to get hurt Doll, I would never forgive myself if you did.”

“It would have been my stupid choice, Buck.” You said with an apologetic smile, “But I promise I’ll look before I leap next time.” You looked behind your shoulder at your TV. “Hey, do you want to come in?” You asked, pointing back with your thumb, “I was binging Brooklyn 99. And I made popcorn.”

Bucky laughed, “Sure Doll, I’d love to.”