Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Remus’ alarm goes off at 7:05 am. He slaps at it bleary-eyed and snoozes for another fifteen minutes. When the alarm blares again he shuts it off and rolls onto his back, then stretches his arms up above his head and his long legs down to his toes.

As Remus is sitting up his brain registers the sound of his shower running. Oh right. Gid is still here. He sits on the side of his bed, blinking and trying to wake up, running a hand back and forth over the floof of his bed-head curls. 

He sighs as he walks past the bathroom door and the sound of running water.

Remus doesn’t exactly mind that Gideon has spent the night, but he doesn’t exactly like it either if he’s truly honest. He cares a lot about Gideon, he does, but his space is sacred to him. He doesn’t share it with just anyone. Gideon isn’t just anyone. He’s my boyfriend, Remus thinks.

Gideon is kind and stable. They always have a decent time when they’re together and the sex is good, sometimes really good. And Gideon doesn’t push. Gideon is very practical, and he helps Remus stay focused on what’s important. He helps Remus stay grounded, stay realistic. Gideon is nice. And nice is nice, right? 

Ugh, too early for relationship debates, brain.

Remus pulls on some pajama pants and a soft shirt then shuffles to the kitchen and starts the coffee pot on autopilot. He pulls down a black mug with a gold fleur de lis on it. He misses Saints football but loves New Orleans in the spring.

His eyes gravitate to his laptop sitting on the kitchen table. He listens carefully for any signs of Gideon, feeling sneaky in his own damn kitchen. The shower is still running... Remus waits a beat, then moves quickly, opening the computer and starting it up. He holds his breath as his email loads. YES!

Padfoot312 (1)

This is Remus’ favorite part of the entire day - drinking his coffee and waking up to words from Padfoot312. It doesn’t even occur to Remus anymore that he doesn’t know his name. He’s Padfoot to Remus now and that’s just fine. He’s so ready to see what new words Padfoot has written for him, he’s just got to click on the new message and

“Morning Babe.”

“Oh!” Remus jumps and closes his laptop a bit too quickly, “Hey, um, good morning.”

“You alright? Pretty jumpy there.” Gideon walks over and runs his fingers through Remus’ hair. Remus is stiff, but he doesn’t pull away. 

“No, yeah, fine. Just um, still waking up, you know?” Remus rubs his eyes to make his point. When Gideon moves in closer Remus gives him a quick, placating smile before standing and moving away to pour himself more coffee. He ignores Gideon’s sigh. 

“Thanks for making coffee,” says Gideon. He reaches into a cabinet and pulls out a mug that says ‘Best Big Brother’ on it, before helping himself to Remus’ coffee pot. 

Remus doesn’t know why this makes him uncomfortable. His boyfriend should be comfortable in his home. Maybe it’s knowing Lucy would be upset seeing Gideon use her gift to Remus? He shakes it off. Lucy has never really liked Gideon, but she’s never really given him a chance either. Remus doesn’t really expect his baby sister to like anyone he dates. 

Gideon holds his arms out in an offer to hug Remus and Remus’ chest warms as he remembers how wonderful Gideon is to him. This time when Gideon moves in close Remus sets his mug down and hugs him back. Gideon leans in and kisses Remus’ neck, nuzzling close. Remus rubs his hands up and down Gideon’s back. See, this is nice. 

Remus and Gideon have been seeing each other for a while now. It’s casual and it's good. It's stable, predictable, drama-free. Boring. Safe. 

Gideon was there for him back when they were still just friends. He sat with Remus in his mom’s hospital room. He brought Remus and Lucy take out. He listened to Remus rant about how the doctors should be able to do more for her. Gideon held him as he cried, sat with Remus and Lucy through the funeral, and stayed amazingly supportive throughout the months that dragged on after. It was the worst time in Remus’ life.  

When he asked Remus out to dinner Remus was not exactly ready per se, but at that point even Lucy was encouraging Remus to get out of the house. Going out with Gideon was something to focus on other than the gaping hole in his chest left by his mother. And then he just kept saying yes whenever Gideon asked. And now they’re here standing in his kitchen with half of Remus wishing he was actually alone.

“Um, do you… do you want breakfast or anything?” Remus vaguely thumbs in the fridge’s direction.

“Nah, I’m good, thanks though,” he kisses Remus’ cheek, “I gotta get going, I’m running late as it is,” Gideon says as he puts his mug in the sink. “Oh and um, thanks for last night. I had a great time.”

“Oh, yeah. Me too.”

“When can I see you again?” Gideon’s eyes are kind, but they are filled with an expectation that Remus doesn’t know if he can meet.

“Well, things are pretty busy at the shop right now, you know? Spring and festivals and all,” Remus rubs the back of his neck with one hand, “Um, I’ll call you?”

“Ok, sounds good. Well um, see you soon,” Gideon leans in and kisses Remus on the lips. Remus wonders again if he is supposed to be feeling something more than this. He raises his hand in a small wave as Gideon leaves the room.

As Remus tops his mug off with hot coffee his breath suddenly catches in his chest as a fresh wave of anticipation washes through him. He listens intently for the front door shutting. When it thuds closed, he moves quickly to the front window and watches Gideon walk all the way to his car. As soon as Gideon starts pulling into the street he spins on his heel and all but runs back to the kitchen sliding to his laptop. He yanks the computer open a bit too hard, wincing at the creaking sound it makes. 

He pats his computer softly, “Sorry. sorry.”

Calm down you lunatic. He’s not going anywhere.

He makes himself take a settling breath in and out before pulling up his email again. The sides of his mouth lift up without conscious thought as he sees the beautiful sight - New Messages and Padfoot312 bold and right at the top.

“Hi,” Remus says to his computer screen.

From: Padfoot312 Monday 6:27 am
To: thruthemoonlight
Subject: The Crescent City

Good Morning Moony Moonlight.
     Have I ever told you about my undying love for this beautiful city? I haven’t been here for all that long, but this city has absolutely enchanted me. From the moment I ate my first meal here, I was done for - enamored, obsessed, captivated. I could write you a thesis on all the colors, sights, sounds, foods - so much food! Coming from a huge foodie city I was worried about finding great food again, but New Orleans came through! … the history, the culture, the community, the tenacious celebration of LIFE! I’m soaking it all in. Go outside. You’ll even hear the birds celebrating.
     I was having brunch yesterday at a spot down in the Quarter with my brother (He’s ridiculous, but that’s for another note). We strolled up Decatur Street afterward right past Cafe du Monde, and the smell of freshly frying beignets and powdered sugar was thick in the air. The cafe was bustling, overflowing with people everywhere (who I now can tell are all tourists haha). They were laughing, talking, eating, playing, soaking up the sunshine. There were dogs and kids and pockets of beautiful chaos - just life everywhere I looked. There was a brass band on the corner playing their hearts out and transforming the sleepy Sunday morning into an afternoon celebration. The cool spring breeze was blowing and the sun was bright but not yet hot. The sky was blue with only a few puffy clouds. The humidity was down and it felt like everyone everywhere was outside soaking up the perfection of the day. The scene was like living poetry. 
     I guess I bring all this up because I wanted you to know that in those blissful moments I had two thoughts. One was of my ever-growing, profound love for this perfectly imperfect Crescent City. And the other, was of you. 
     If I knew your name and address I’d send you a fresh bag of those beignets and a chicory au lait to start off your morning. Even locals must eat that sometimes, surely? I truly hope you are able to spend some time outside this week. It would be a shame to miss NOLA in the Spring.
Happy Monday,
Padfoot

Remus’ second favorite part of his day is his walk to work. His apartment is 7 blocks from the bookstore his mother started and then left to him and Lucy. 7 blocks that he cherishes every day as he walks down Magazine Street basking in all the wonderful little ways he can see his beloved city waking up. 

Magazine Street is a narrow, two-lane artery that curves to follow the bends of the Mississippi River right through the heart of New Orleans. There are tons of ancient, sprawling Oak trees dripping with Spanish moss that often canopy the street. The shops and homes along the sides are as eclectic and colorful as the people who occupy them. Remus loves every part of it. He loves the people watching, the store owners unlocking and opening doors, kids playing around as they walk to school, neighbors sweeping their porches, people walking past with large to-go cups of caffeine, and cars rumbling passed in both directions. 

But on this day he barely notices any of it, he barely feels his feet on the pavement. He is far too caught up in the gift of Padfoot’s words.

“I’d send you a fresh bag of those beignets and a chicory au lait to start off your morning.”

Speaking of coffee, Remus stops at the Hey Cafe coffee shop to pick up some pastries so he, Lucy, and Marlene can have a Monday morning treat. He’s feeling friendly, light, and warm. He makes small talk with the barista and buys Lucy her favorite cookie just to see her smile. He says good morning to every person who makes eye contact with him, bright and chipper in a way that he would usually find annoying, but he’s unable to stop himself. 

As he steps out onto the sidewalk again a cool breeze blows through his curly hair and he takes a moment to absorb all that’s around him. He breathes in the air, soaks up the sounds, turns his face into the warmth of the sunshine. He notices all the birds singing their lungs out and he smiles.

“Go outside. You’ll even hear the birds celebrating.”

“Mornin’,” he says to an older woman that passes him on the sidewalk.

“Good morning,” she smiles back at him.

“I had two thoughts. One was of my ever-growing, profound love for this perfectly imperfect Crescent City.”

He marvels at another stunningly beautiful spring day in New Orleans. The day is brand new. The day is his. 

“And the other, was of you.”  

And as he turns the corner, not even the jarring sounds of the major construction site he walks past can interrupt his high. 

From: thruthemoonlight  Monday 7:48 am
To: Padfoot312
Subject: Friend

     I like to think of us as the oldest and dearest of friends. I like to imagine that we’ve grown up together, like we’ve known each other since we were eleven year old boys causing all kinds of chaos. I feel like I’ve known you forever. Sometimes I forget what it’s really been.
     I like to write as if we’re in the middle of an ongoing conversation. And maybe we are? Has our conversation ever stopped? Maybe we are old and dear friends? What’s the time table on that? 
     How is it that exchanging words with you makes me feel more known and seen than when I’m in a room full of people I know? How is it that I feel more genuine and unfiltered with you than with almost anyone else? Maybe we’re so much more than just two people who don’t know each other’s real names and met in an obscure book lovers discord channel. 
     You are my favorite part of my day, have I told you that? Every morning I shuffle to my coffee pot and stand in my kitchen. Every morning I stare out my kitchen window and try to greet my day. And then there’s this moment, my brain finally wakes up enough and I remember.  I all but run to my laptop and click on all the things as fast as possible. My breath catches in my throat and my heart races with anticipation until I see your name in my inbox. I don’t think about anything else for hours. I hear none of the noise on the busy streets on my way to work. All I hear is my heartbeat echoing in my ears. Because I have words - from you.
Happy Monday,
Moony

Sirius holds the door to the Hey Cafe coffee shop open with one hand and the tray of cups up and out the way in the other as a woman walks inside. They exchange polite smiles and nods and before he can move two more people walk past with quick “thank yous.” 

I miss revolving doors, Sirius thinks as he does his best to be patient with the impractical pace of the people around him.

He walks quickly, navigating around the strolling people. Why must everyone in New Orleans just mosey everywhere!? Let’s go!

As he comes to a stop at the corner he checks his watch. Shit I’m late. He rushes across the busy two-way street as soon as there’s a break in traffic. When he gets to the edge of the construction site James is there waiting outside, squinting in the sunlight and looking around. He is dressed in jeans and a collared short sleeve shirt with PB Books and their logo on the pocket. He’s holding a clipboard, has a hard hat tucked in one elbow, and one on his head. When he sees Sirius walking up he exaggeratedly raises his arm and looks at his watch-less wrist in an obvious fashion. Sirius rolls his eyes and responds by holding up the tray of caffeinated beverages as evidence.
 
“Oh! Good morning, Brother. Good of you to finally show up,” James says as he hands Sirius a hard hat and ushers them both inside. There are metal beams making up the skeleton for what will be walls. There are tools and tarps and sawhorses all around. The floor is littered with discarded materials and vines of extension cords stretch in every direction. 

Sirius puts on his hat and removes his sunglasses to look around the large space, stepping carefully, and assessing any signs of the team’s progress. He tucks his glasses carefully into the collar of his own PB Books shirt and then hands James the large chai he requested. 

“Your welcome, by the way. Where’s Lily? She’s much nicer to me.” 

James sticks his tongue out at Sirius then tucks his clipboard under his arm to remove the lid of his cup and blow on the steaming liquid.

“Hey! I’m coming!” Lily calls as she carefully walks through the large and cluttered construction chaos. Lily is also wearing a hard hat, her long red hair is loosely braided and hanging around her shoulder. She protects the camera hanging around her neck and tucks her phone in her back pocket. 

Officially, Lily Potter is the social media and marketing director for Potter Brothers Books. Unofficially, she is the voice of all things reasonable and sensible when it comes to her husband and brother-in-law. She is brilliant, wickedly fun, beautiful, and really fucking good at her job.

“Good morning, you gorgeous thing you,” she says as she kisses Sirius on the cheek and takes her drink. James huffs.

“See? I told you she was nicer than you,” Sirius says with a cocky smirk.

“I was talking to my coffee. Oh! Good morning Sirius!” says Lily with faux surprise.

James laughs at Sirius’s slack-jawed face. 

“Rude!” is all Sirius can say before he starts laughing too. 

“I tease, darling. How are you?” Lily says sweetly.

“Grumpy, Lil. I’m grumpy! First of all the barista called me ‘sir!’ Sir, Lily! Like I’m...old or something,” Sirius puts on his best pout.

Lily smiles indulgently, “And second of all, James was mean to you?”

“So mean! Make him stop.”

“You know, maybe you’ve been spending too much time with your godson?” Lily barely hits James on his shoulder with the back of her hand, “Mr. C.O.O., be nice to the C.E.O.”

“Hey! He started it!”

“Oh, my pouty boys,” says Lily with a smile as she cups her pouting husband's cheek. She shakes her head and smiles until James smiles back. “I’m going home to edit these pictures and get some work done before I have to pick up Harry,” she says and then points a stern finger at both of them, “You two! Don’t forget to discuss the banner today! We’ve got to announce ourselves to the neighborhood and get all the resistance out of the way.”

“Ma’am, yes ma’am!” Sirius and James say at the same time with matching mock salutes. Lily rolls her eyes, well-versed in their tom-foolery. She kisses James quickly and waves her goodbye as she walks away.

“God my wife is amazing.” James waves his hands like he’s clearing the air, “Ok, Ok. Let’s focus here shall we?” They start to walk through the area.

“Right, how we looking?” says Sirius mostly to himself as he scans the large room. 

He loves this part. He loves the madness of creation. He can see past the chaos of progress to the masterpiece that it will be. He takes incredible pride in building a Potter Brothers Bookstore. Their flagship in Chicago was started by their father. He built the second store in Portland with them before retiring. After that, James and Sirius have been traveling across the country scouting or building stores or both. New Orleans is the latest and Sirius wants this one to be as amazing as the neighborhood it’s going to be a part of.

He sips his iced coffee and enjoys the cool slide of it down his throat. Unbidden, the coffee makes him think of beignets. And the beignets make him think of Moony, and then his mind has deserted the conversation in favor of a tangent.

“I feel like I’ve known you forever.”

“Well, Peter is still tied up with permitting at City Hall. He says he needs at least another week.”

“Great,” Sirius says without eye contact. 

“You are my favorite part of my day, have I told you that?”

“And we’re already getting push back from the neighbors about opening a chain store.” 

“Good, good,” Sirius says.

“All I hear is my heartbeat echoing in my ears. Because I have words. From you.”

“And Harry is going to set fire to your house in about an hour,” James says impatiently.

“Mhm, sounds good.” 

James stops walking abruptly. “I knew you weren’t listening.”

“Shit, I’m sorry,” Sirius runs a hand over his face, “I was just thinking about someone and I got distracted. Go on.”

“Distracted, huh?” James wiggles his eyebrows, “Who is this person!? Who!?” James bounces on the balls of his feet, “Who could possibly pull my perfectionist away from a job site?”

“Shut up. You’re so dramatic. It’s - stop bouncing you lunatic! Keep going - no, start over. I’m listening this time.” Sirius starts to walk again with purpose, “And where is Peter? Why is this place such a mess!? Why is this over here? Jake! Get me the blueprints! Ryan, clean that up please!” 

James just shakes his head and laughs before jogging to catch up.

Chapter Text

“Morning Rem!” Lucy calls from the front of the bookstore. She’s wiping down the large window that takes up the top half of the front door to the store. She pauses a moment when she gets a good look at her brother walking towards her. He’s grinning but she doesn’t know why. He picked up pastries which he usually only does on special occasions, and he’s almost ... strutting?

“Morning Kid! How was your weekend? Can you believe this gorgeous day?” 

“Go vitamin D, I guess. You know the sun will try to cook us soon, right?”

“But we will not miss New Orleans in the spring!”

Lucy opens the door for Remus before following in after and they both walk back to the office in the back. It’s not an extravagant office, but there’s room for a desk, a sofa, and a small side table. Remus puts down his backpack on the sofa and the pastry box on the table while Lucy puts away the cleaning supplies.

“Riiight. My weekend was fine. How was your weekend?” Lucy has a slightly tickled look to her face.

“It was good. Saw that new sci-fi movie with Gid yesterday. You were totally right. It was great!” 

“Uh-huh,” Lucy looks at him curiously for a moment, “Did you get laid?”

“Ew! No sex talk between siblings!” Remus exclaims as he steps back out of the office.

Lucy follows Remus to the front of the shop. She watches Remus as he moves piles of books around unnecessarily, straightens already perfect stacks, and wipes down the already clean counter. Remus can’t seem to stay still and Lucy watches him with a bemused smirk, her eyebrows slightly raised.

“Let’s see what else, oh! I tried that new Pho spot. We have to go, Lucy! They have a patio and we can sit outside. We have to get outside, Luce. Maybe we can get Jazz Fest tickets!”

“Jazz Fest?”

“Maybe we should open the windows? Let’s open the windows,” Remus stops short as if he didn’t even realize he was buzzing about, “Lucy! This weekend we should go to brunch. Why don’t we ever go to brunch? Sunday brunch. Doesn’t that sound just…” 

Lucy almost can’t believe her eyes. She can’t decide if she wants to laugh or tackle this Remus-looking imposter. Her brother is literally hugging a book and staring off into space dreaming about brunch. 

“Ok... suuuure… Ah, hey Rem?”

“Yeah?” Remus shakes his head like he’s waking up from a daydream. It’s subtle but Lucy sees and chuckles.

“What in the entire world has gotten into you?” 

“What?” Remus laughs, “Nothing. Nothing! I just -”

“Oh my god! Remus did you and Gideon- Are you ...in love?”

“What!? In love? No. No, I’m just, I don’t know, Luce… happy.”

“Well, I’m not his biggest fan, but if he makes you this happy, I’ll come around. I promise.”

“No, you don’t even know h-” Remus throws his hand over his mouth. His eyes are wide for a split second before he makes a break for the back room.

“Oh no you don’t Remus Lupin! What the fuck are you talking about? You tell me right now! I don’t know who!?”

Lucy runs and jumps on his back. Her 5’6 frame doesn’t have much on Remus’ 6’1 height, but she’s stronger than she looks. Remus laughs immediately, she gets him every time and Remus has never been able to keep anything from Lucy. He’s never really wanted too. It was him, Lucy, and their mom, Hope, for so long. They were his whole world. 

“You tell me right now Remus John!” They are both smiling and peels of laughter bubble  from Lucy as Remus grabs her knees and spins them around a few times before he stops and sets her down as they catch their breath.

“I love hearing your laugh. You remind me of Mom,” Remus says, meaning well. The smile drops from Lucy’s face and her eyes fall to the floor.

“Aw, Luce, don’t, hey don’t.” Remus hugs Lucy close and she wraps her arms around him tightly. “I’m sorry. It’s a beautiful laugh. I didn’t mean to upset you, I swear.” 

“I just… I miss her, Remus,” Lucy sniffs, “… all the time.”

“Me too, Luce. Me too.” Remus gently rocks them back and forth. “She is so proud of you.”

They are quiet together for a moment. Then Lucy takes a deep breath and lifts her head to look at Remus. 

“Mom would never let you try and change the subject and neither will I.” Lucy pulls away with a mischievous grin. She folds her arms and stares him down smugly. “Who don’t I know? Who is it that’s making you do that dopey lovie smiley face?” Lucy waves her finger in circles all around Remus’ face.

Remus laughs heartily. “Do what to my face? It’s just my face!”

“Remus John Lupin!” Lucy folds her arms again and purses her lips then cocks a hip out and taps her foot impatiently. She tilts her head just a bit and raises her eyebrow expectantly. She looks so much like Hope, it squeezes his heart. 

“Okay!” Remus throws up his hands. “Ok,” he sighs, “I might have… I’m mean...  I’m just talking to someone and... “ Remus shrugs and puts his hands in his pockets, “He’s nice.”

“He’s. Nice. He’s nice!?” Lucy waves her arms in an impatient give me more than that gesture. 

“I don’t know! I don’t know. He’s just a friend and we talk. A lot. You know what, he’s more of an acquaintance. It’s actually not that big a deal. I was just playing around.”

Lucy just taps her fingers, arms still folded, and stares him down.

Remus sighs again, “Is it...is it cheating if you’re, I don’t know, connecting with someone online?”

“Online?”

“Well, email mostly. We met on a discord chat actually. For Queer book lovers. Queer people who love books as well as queer books that people love.” Remus shakes his head, “Anyway.”

“Oh. That’s actually pretty cool.”

“Yeah, I said something about New Orleans, or Mardi Gras or something, I don’t really remember, and he said he was moving to New Orleans and then we just started talking, like every day. I don’t know. We just...”

“Hit it off?”

“Yeah.” Remus feels a blush creeping up, “We connected. It was really wonderful. It is really wonderful.”

“Have you guys...you know?” Lucy waves her hand around vaguely, “Sexted and stuff like that?”

“No! And ew, to discussing the sex life with the sibling. Again. But no, it’s not even like that. We just talk, well, email. And like I said, it’s really nothing. I’m actually even thinking about stopping because it’s just getting…” Remus gestures vaguely.

“Out of hand?”

“Confusing.”

“Confusing?”

“Well at first we just talked about books and music, movies, the Saints, harmless, random stuff,” Lucy nods and he continues, “We agreed not to talk about anything personal, so no details. I don’t know his name or where he works or anything like that. You know, actually, this is good. It’ll be really easy to stop seeing him, because I’m not!”

“Remus! He could be anyone!” Lucy says with wonder.

“I know.” Remus says with a yikes face.

“No, I mean that in a good way! He could be the next person to walk in the shop!”

“Oh stop. He’s not-”

“Morning!” comes a voice from the front of the shop.

“Morning Marlene!” Lucy calls out, then she whisper-shouts at Remus, “This is not over!”

Remus puts a mocking hand over his heart and backs away like he’s scared. When Lucy rolls her eyes he smiles, pats her head patronizingly as he passes her, and walks to the front of the store.

“Hey, Marls. There’s some scones and stuff in the back,” Remus says as he walks to unlock the front door. “Time to open up!”

Remus hears Lucy answer the phone, “Crescent City Books, may I help you?” and Marlene turns on the mellow jazz background music. 

As he’s opening the lock he sees some regulars walking up. He waves and opens the door wide, “Maya and Caitlyn, how are you? Good morning, Ms. Trudeau.” They smile and walk in, comfortable and familiar.

Remus looks around his shop proudly and savors the moment. He loves his job.

Several blocks away, in a huge Downtown skyscraper office building, Sirius and James are meeting with Peter, their general manager for opening stores. Peter is Sirius' right-hand man until the local staffing is employed and trained.

“So who’s the competition?” asks Peter.

“Well, there’s a travel book shop a few blocks up and then a local hot spot, Crescent City Books,” answers Sirius.

“Apparently it's been there forever. Actually, Lily is a bit concerned about the neighborhood’s response to our ‘big, bad chain store.’ Oh speaking of, sad announcement, we just found out that Uptown Books is going under, so that’s one less,” says James with a smile.

“Aw, another independent bites the dust,” Peter pretends to wipe a tear.

“On to the next!” Sirius jokes.

“I’ll make a call and see what of their inventory we can buy up,” James says as he scribbles himself a note.

“See if there’s any LGBTQ authors, we need more for the new store. Also, I want a local writer’s section or something. Highlight the neighborhood somehow. Appeal to the natives, that sort of thing,” says Sirius. 

“Yes, draw in all these southern belles and cajun-”

“Readers, Peter. They are called readers,” says Sirius.

“This is James,” James answers the phone. “Yes. ...No that’s fine. ...Ok good. ...Thanks, Jean-Paul.” James hangs up then says, “Banner is going up as soon as the permit comes through, a few days probably. He also said so far there’s been a minimal response from neighbors, questions mostly.”

“Well, ready or not, here we come,” says Sirius.

To: Padfoot312

Subject: Sparkling Water

Tonight at dinner I let a friend talk me into trying sparkling water for the first time. She demanded I put a lime wedge in and have an open mind. I put up quite the grumble about it because I must stay on brand as the crotchety grandpa friend. But shh, I actually really liked it. Obviously I feigned indifference because I’m petty and won’t give her the satisfaction. Don’t worry though, her ego has herculean strength. 

But it left me wondering, who came up with “sparkling” water? The pretension is astounding. Sparkling ? Like a fucking Twilight vampire or something?? What does sparkling even mean? Is water meant to sparkle? Is this bottled unicorn tears? Glitter bubbles? What am I actually drinking?

To: thruthemoonlight  

Subject: tips from my favorite local

I mentioned to my sister-in-law that I can’t believe I haven’t ridden the trolley yet and I’d like to ride one soon. Well, she busted out laughing, right in my face. No worries, this is a regular occurrence that she lives for, and I am well-calloused to her teasing. “Streetcar,” she informs me smugly, is the correct terminology for the train-like-car that rides those tracks everywhere. 

All that to say, this weekend I will be taking my first streetcar ride and another step into my immersion of New Orleans’ culture will be complete. Any tips I should know?

 To: Padfoot312

Subject: cookies

Confession: I hate raisins. I abhor raisins. They are food ruiners, and you can quote me. The other day I was casually scrolling for a dessert recipe and I saw that someone put (gag) raisins into cinnamon rolls! Blasphemy!! I almost broke my phone. 

Oatmeal cookies? Why yes kind sir, thank you so much. Oatmeal? Delicious. Cinnamon? Always a good idea. So tell me then why the HELL would anyone destroy a thing of beauty like a cinnamon oatmeal cookie with those dried up chewy little bitter rock things!? Don’t even get me started on cinnamon raisin bread. WHY. Just why. 

I am impassioned about this topic and thinking of starting an official petition to Betty Crocker or Martha Stewart or whoever the fuck they let make these types of decisions. You’d sign, wouldn’t you? 

To: thruthemoonlight  

Subject: houseplants

I’m finally at the houseplant phase of settling in. You know that moment where you look around the room and you can’t figure out why the room still feels empty even though you finally got off your lazy ass and hung the shelves and put up the random art pieces and posters but it’s still missing something, so you google room decor ideas and the thing that pops up everywhere is PLANTS, so then you think, wow how am I an adult and not know this? Yeah, that. So I’m going plant shopping after work. Wish me luck.

It has just occurred to me that I do not know where to go to buy the aforementioned plants of the house variety. Suggestions?

 To: Padfoot312

Subject: Twisting the night away

I was randomly offered tickets to see Tank and the Bangas perform in Championship Square. I’ve been working a ton lately and was frankly exhausted, but my baby sister can get me to do just about anything, so I went. 

I’m just starting to get into their music, but now after seeing them live I’m concerned about a growing obsession. You should check them out if you haven’t yet - funk, soul, hip hop, rock, spoken word. The show was IN-creD-ibLe. (I hate when people type that way, I don’t know why I did it. Shit, now I’ve typed too much to be bothered to back up. What to do??) The light and the background screen behind the band was impeccably timed to highlight the music. They incorporated graphics and storytelling into the songs. It created this whole immersive experience I won’t forget anytime soon. Not to mention just good fucking music. 

It was a really good night and a much-needed break. I’ve been a lot more mindful to “soak it all up,” as you say. So thank you for inspiring me to do that. What’s your favorite concert you’ve ever been to?

To: thruthemoonlight  

Subject: houseplants

Come with me on this rant for a minute, ok? Ok, not to sound like an out-of-towner but, WHY must New Orleanians just mosey everywhere they walk? Don’t they have somewhere to be? I feel like I’m constantly yelling “let’s gooo” in my head. I never thought I was an asshole before. It’s just, where I’m from, we walk! There's no lingering, no loitering. No waving! Why does everyone here wave at me? Excuse me, have we met? ...Between me and you though, I’ve started waving back and it’s actually quite wonderful. Shh.

The perception some people carry of this town is so wrong. The assumption of a constant state of drunken debauchery and tacky parties all the time is just so abhorrently wrong. I’ve realized quickly I had a sort of caricature in my head of what I thought living here would be like. I was so wrong. This city is a work of art! I’m learning so much history, how this city has rebuilt, transformed, itself over and over again. Meeting new people, trying new foods, hearing new music, strolling new streets… The warm embrace I have felt since arriving here has blown my mind. Maybe it’s the waving? 

This city gets into your blood! I feel like I’m actually supposed to live somewhere - no, not just live, settle . That is quite the paradigm shift from the nomadic life I have led since leaving home. I do miss home, but there’s something so wonderful in the mystery of starting an adventure into an entirely new chapter of life.

And yes, all the stay at home plants are alive and well, thanks for asking. 

Sirius sends his latest reply and closes his laptop with a smile on his face. He bites his bottom lip as he thinks of Moony. He’s too fucking adorable Sirius almost can’t stand it. It’s getting harder and harder not to beg him to meet up. Sirius feels something stirring in his bones. There’s something here, something Sirius has never felt before. His phone makes him jump - Who run the world? GIRLS! Who run the world? GIRLS! Who run this motherf-?

“Hey Red.” Sirius tips back in his office chair and sips his sparkling water. 

“Hey Handsome. Whatcha up to?”

“Oh not much, drinking unicorn tears and catching up with a friend.” Sirius doesn’t quite know why he’s smiling.

“Lovely. Very weird, very you. So listen, I need a Fairy Godfather favor.”

“Bro-time?” Sirius sits up excitedly.

“With the new store build and all the new marketing, James and I haven’t really spent any time-”

“Say no more, Lil. Say no more. I’m jonesin’ for some Harry-time as it is.”

“Did you- did you just refer to your nephew as an illegal substance addiction?”

“So when should I pick him up?”

“Saturday? Maybe even an overnight with his favorite person in the whole wide world?”

“Obviously he needs to spend a significant amount of time with me so I can undo all the discipline and manners you are instilling in him, as well as teach him how to be cool while spoiling him with new toys and mountains of sugar.”

“Obviously.”

“Perfect. I’ll pick him up Saturday morning and we’ll make it a slumber party.”

“I’d say you’re a lifesaver but I know it’ll just go to your head.”

“Favorite Uncle to the rescue!”

“GoodbYYYYe Sirius!” she shouts over him.

He laughs when she hangs up on him and a wave of excitement and anticipation washes over him. He’s very much looking forward to spending the weekend with Harry. 

He walks back over to his laptop and begins searching for activities for them to do. He hits play on his Spotify and Tank and the Bangas come back on. 

Saturday is the first day off Remus has had in several weeks and he is going to make the most of it. He thoroughly enjoyed sleeping in and reading for a long time this morning. And now Remus sits in Audubon Park under the shade of an ancient, sprawling oak tree, watching the Spanish moss blowing in the breeze, eating his stuffed blackberry snowball, and sketching the picturesque nature scenes all around him. People-watching in the park is one of his favorite things to do. He sees a couple holding hands as they stroll by—their fingers are intertwined, their arms swinging comfortably as they lean into each other like they do this all the time. She laughs heartily at something her girlfriend says and it’s intimate and wonderful. Something tugs at Remus’ heart. He has to look away. He takes another bite of his snowball and looks around.

There’s a family having a picnic at one of the tables. There’s a father and daughter fishing. There’s a mom running with a stroller. There’s a very attractive man jogging while a little boy rides his small bike next to him.

Remus feels a spike of loneliness and a longing races through him. He wants to stroll through the park with a partner. Maybe someday with a family. Remus sighs, these thoughts are overwhelming and bittersweet. He looks around for the boy and the hot guy with the dog but he can’t see them anymore. Damn.  

Remus’ phone pings with a reminder 2pm Hang with Gid.

He feels a little guilty when he thinks of Gideon, but it’s becoming clearer to him what he should do, what he needs to do.

Lucy in the sky with diamonds! Lucy in the sky-

“Hey Luce, what’s up?”

“Hey Rem. Um-”

“What’s wrong?” Remus immediately sits up straight at the sound of Lucy’s weak voice. He can tell something is off from the way she says his name.

“I know it’s Saturday and your day off, but Marlene is out of town this weekend, remember? And I think I’m running a fever. My head is killing me and I need to go home. I feel like shit. I’m sorry, Brother.”

“No, no, no. It's fine. I’m sorry you’re sick. Do you need anything? I’ll be there as soon as I can.” Remus packs his things quickly.

“I’m ok. I think I just need to go lay down.”

“Ok well, I’ll see you as soon as possible.” He begins walking towards the streetcar stop throwing his snowball trash in a bin along the way.

“Thanks, brother.”

“No worries, sis. And don’t worry about any shop stuff. I’ll take care of it when I get there. You just take care of you.”

“Yes sir,” she says and Remus is comforted by the smile he can hear in her voice, “See you soon.”

“Bye.”

He’s grateful that he doesn’t have to wait long for a streetcar to come. He rides it as close to the shop as he can and walks quickly for the rest of the way. 

I’m definitely not moseying right now, Padfoot.

He’s almost to the shop, just a few blocks to go when he remembers he was supposed to meet Gideon in a little while. Shit. He’ll have to cancel on him...again.

Even worse though is the giant banner that grabs his attention as soon as he turns the corner. The obnoxiously huge, bold block letters read “Coming Soon! Potter Brothers Books!” And his heart plummets to his shoes.

Chapter Text

When Lucy is well again she meets Remus and Marlene on the corner across the street from the construction area. The three of them stand and stare at the enormous banner. 

“A Potter Brothers superstore?” Lucy asks in disbelief.

“Yep,” says Marlene, “a sprawling, cheap, chainstore nightmare.”

“Guys, this isn’t a reason to panic, ok? This has nothing to do with us.”

Lucy and Marlene share a look, but Remus is still fixated on the banner.

“Remus-”

“No, I’m serious. This is actually a good thing. It is a good thing, don’t look at me like that. It’ll bring readers and draw people to our neighborhood. Besides, they’re all…” he waves vaguely at the building, “cheap books and no service. Big, impersonal, overstocked, full of ignorant sales people.”

“But they discount.” says Marlene.

“But they don’t provide any service. We do,” insists Remus.”This is a good development. If they don’t have something, we will!”

“And vice versa,” says Marlene.

“Absolutely!” says Remus, “Now come on. Let’s get back and open up.”

Neither Lucy or Marlene know what to say, they just exchange another nervous look. They take one more tense glance at the giant building that looms over them in more ways than one, before slowly turning to follow Remus back to their store.

When he gets back to the store front, Remus stops outside and really looks at this little cottage house turned bookstore. He remembers his mother sweeping this porch. He remembers his younger self being annoyed when she made him work a Saturday afternoon with her, and now they are some of his fondest memories. Hours and hours of work from first his mother and now from him. The bookstore consumes his life. And what does he have to show for it? Not some expanding business empire. Not capital to donate back into his community. Not an LGBTQ+ safe space for writers and readers and educators like he’s always dreamed. He has a run-down cottage shop that barely turns a profit. 

And he hates that in this moment, all he can think about is how very very small their tiny shop looks right now.

To: Padfoot312

Subject: overthinking

I live a small life. Valuable, don’t get me wrong but, small. Sometimes I can’t help but wonder if I’m supposed to be doing more. I don’t even really know what that means. I don’t know more of what exactly, but there’s this longing for it that creeps up sometimes—I’m feeling it more and more actually. It takes over and overwhelms my thoughts. It’s like I look around at my life and, while I am proud of what I have accomplished, I’m also left with this pervasive question— is this it? Is this all I’m meant for? 

I want to have an impact! I want to be braver, dream bigger, travel farther, love harder… I want more. Why do I force myself to push all this longing away and shove my dreams down? ...I don’t know. Well, I have a guess.

A while back, we suffered a great loss, my sister and I, and I’ve been so lost since then. It took so long to just get our life back on track! Now I don’t want to risk anything anymore. I don’t know why thoughts of pursuing more and dreaming bigger cause such fear to rise up. My sister is always dreaming it seems. She’s chasing her goals and working so hard and I’m so damn proud. One of us needs to stay anchored though. One of us needs to keep their feet on the ground. She needs a safety net and I’m all she has. 

I’m not really asking for an answer or a reply. I just needed to put all this in a safe place so I can try and sleep tonight. Maybe I’ll be ready for more someday. Who knows.

Thank you, sincerely, for being one of the safest places I’ve ever known.

I wish we could     

Goodnight Sweet Friend.

“Uncle Rus!!”

The moment the door to James and Lily’s house opens Harry darts out and launches himself into Sirius’ waiting arms. Sirius laughs and scoops him up, spinning them around.

“What’s up Harrington!?” Sirius sets him down and musses his hair.

Lily opens the door with a smile and a hug for Sirius. He follows them into the Potter’s living room during Harry’s welcoming monologue. 

“We’re gonna have so much fun, Uncle Rus. Like Big fun. I made a list and Daddy got me new shoes and I packed a bag and everything! I’ll show you. And Mommy said, Mommy said I could bwing my Soft-Monkey, but he’s just gonna sleep with me now, Sirrus. Because I’m four now, you know that Uncle Rus? I’m four now and I have babies to take care of.”

“Babies, eh?” Sirius looks at Lily with fond amusement.

“Well... Harry wanted to be the one to tell-”

“IMMABIGBRODDER SIRRUS! Look! Look Sirrus!” Harry points to Lily’s stomach.

It takes a full second for Sirius’ brain to process what just happened and his jaw falls open. 

A gobsmacked and speechless Sirius B. Potter is a sight to behold, and Lily soaks it up, complete with a full, deep belly laugh. James walks up with a giant grin and puts his arms around Lily from behind. He playfully and gently rocks her back and forth.

“Are you- wait. Are you guys…Are you??” Sirius’ eyes dart from Lily to Harry and back again. 

A gorgeous smile takes up Lily’s entire glowing face and joyful tears fill her eyes as she nods in affirmation.

“Holy Shit!”

“Howy Shit!”

“Sirius!” says James at the same time Lily says, “Harry!”

“Sorry! Sorry. But come on! You guys this is…Harry, Mom’s right ok, don’t say... But this is amazing!” Sirius moves to wrap his arms around both his laughing brother and sister-in-law. He feels Harry’s small arms wrap around one of his thighs.

My family. Shit I’m gonna cry. I’m crying. 

“How far along are you? How are you feeling? Do you want to go sit down?” Sirius backs up carefully, holding his hands out as if Lily is going to fall over at any moment and he needs to catch her. “James, do something!”

“Uncle Rus is fweakin’ out, Dad.”

“I agree,” James laughs, “Uncle Rus is very weird though, so you never know with him,” James pushes Sirius’ arms down and rolls his eyes.

Sirius punches James in the shoulder. Harry immediately pushes his tiny fist into James' leg.

“Boys! No hitting!” Lily reprimands the largest two of the three boys.

“Sowwy Mommy.” 

Lily sighs, “The only gentleman in my life. Thank you, my love.” Harry stands a bit taller.

“We went to the doctor two days ago. She’s only about 8 weeks so it's very early, but yeah. There you go,” James is beaming with pride and it makes Sirius’ day, his month.

“Incredible. I’m so fuuu- uh. So so happy.” 

“Nice catch,” says James dripping with sarcasm.

“Mmmmhm,” says Lily playfully with an eye roll. “Harry love, let’s go get your stuff so you and Uncle Rus can get going.”

“YES!” Harry half jumps, half tumbles over the sofa and bolts out of the living room. Lily follows him out.

“I made sure he had a huge bowl of full-sugar ice cream about ten minutes ago,” James says with a pat to Sirius’ back, “Have fun!”

“I hate you” whispers Sirius as he wraps James in a bro-sized hug.

Sirius and Harry are strolling down Magazine Street eating their snoballs when they come to a small house that’s been converted into a bookstore. Out front is a triangle chalk sign with beautiful, hand-drawn lettering offering a story time for kids of all ages, 1 pm. There are colorful balloons flying off the iron bars of the porch railing and there are families entering the shop. All of it immediately gets Harry’s attention. He pulls on Sirius’ jeans.

“Let’s go in! Let’s go in with them!”

Sirius looks at his watch, 12:47. He looks up and scans over the house turned shop. Charming.

He looks to the store sign, Crescent City Books. Crescent City Books... I know this somehow. Have I been here before? Where do I know that na - OH! Oh shit. It’s them.

“Um, Harry, why don’t we keep walking? We can find something-”

“That boy has a dragon! Come on Sirrus!” Harry hands his snowball to Sirius who takes it on reflex. Harry bolts after another little boy who’s holding his mom’s hand and a stuffed dragon with the other. They all disappear into the book store.

“Harry, wait!... Fuck.” Sirius looks around with snowballs in both hands. “Shit shit shit!” He runs over to the nearest trashcan and chucks the snowballs, then makes a beeline for the bookstore. 

Sirius stumbles into the shop in a flurry, he yanks off his sunglasses, looking around frantically.

“He’s over here,” calls a comforting voice. Sirius sees Harry sitting at a children’s table playing with the toys and books that cover the tabletop. Harry waves.

Sirius rushes over and pats Harry down looking for any signs of anything, “Harry, don’t do that man! You scared me!”

Harry looks confused for a moment, before his lower lip begins to tremble and then he dissolves into tears.

“OH no, no bro. Harry don’t - Come here.” Sirius leans and picks Harry up to him and Harry tucks into his neck. Sirius rubs Harry’s back, calms his voice way down then says, “You just can’t run off without me, ok? We’re a team, me and you, right? We gotta stick together. Understand?”

He feels Harry nod against his neck and shoulder. 

“We’re ok. You ok?” Sirius asks. Harry picks his head up to look at Sirius and nods. “Good. Ok,” Sirius takes a calming breath. “So, you want to stay and play for a minute?”

“Mmhm.”

“Ok,” Sirius puts him down, puts his hands on Harry’s shoulders and smiles at him, “I’ll be right over here if you need me.”

“Ok.”

“Um, sorry to interrupt, but we’re about to start a story if you guys would like to join.”

Sirius turns towards the person speaking and audibly gasps. He feels like someone just punched him in the stomach or grabbed his crotch. Or both. He blinks, twice. 

The man speaking to him is hands down one of the most attractive people Sirius has ever seen. He has soft curls of reddish-brown hair that hang pleasantly around his forehead, soft red pouty lips, broad mouthwatering shoulders. And he’s tall. So tall. It’s rare that Sirius is the same height as other guys. The t-shirt this man is wearing looks soft and comfortable and the maroon color brings out the rich chocolate brown of his eyes. His jeans are well worn but hug his hips. Sirius’ eyes snap back up and he clears his throat. He meets deep, kind, eyes and a soft, shy smile.

Mr. Brown-eyes laughs softly and runs a hand through his hair to the back of his neck. He’s blushing and Sirius smiles. He’s fucking adorable.

“Hi,” says Sirius and he sticks out his hand.

“Oh, um, hi. I’m Remus,” he says as he shakes Sirius’ hand, “Welcome to Crescent City Books.”

Remus.

Fuck he even has perfect hands.

Focus! “Ah, very nice to meet you, Remus. I’m-”

A cry rings out through the room and Sirius immediately drops Remus’ hand and turns, because he knows that little voice.

Harry comes running over. He’s crying and holding his arm. Sirius drops to his knees and looks Harry over.

“Hey, my man. Shhh. Shh. What happened? Hey, you’re ok. You’re ok. Try and calm down and tell me what hurts.”

“That- that s-stupid wall is there a-and I was going to my, my spot because they said it was st-storytime and then I, then I h-hit the w-wALLL!”

Sirius hugs Harry close and lets him cry it out. He rubs his back and hair calmly,  “You’re ok, Bud. You’re ok.”

Remus kneels next to Harry and Sirius holding up a small cup of punch.

“Harry, is it?” 

Sirius nods yes to Remus. Harry keeps his head on Sirius’ shoulder, but turns his face so he can look at Remus.

“Hello Harry,” Remus says softly, genuinely. He smiles fully at Harry. His face is radiant and it steals Sirius’ breath.

Sirius isn’t here right now, please leave a message at the beep.

“Harry, can you keep a secret?” Remus asks.

Harry picks up his head, sniffles, and nods.

“Well,” Remus looks around conspiratorially, “This punch is actually a magic healing potion.” Remus’ eyes go wide and he nods solemnly at Harry. “If it’s ok with your dad, I’ll share some with you.”

“Uncle!” blurts out Sirius, “Ah, that is, Harry is my nephew so I’m his ...uncle.”

Wooow.

Smooth Sirius. Real smooth.

“If it’s ok with your uncle,” Remus smiles, “I’ll share some magic with you.”

“Really?” Harry stares down into the cup.

“Yup,” says Remus.

Harry looks from the cup to Remus, then to Sirius.

Sirius leans and looks down into the cup, “Looks like good, strong magic to me. Your call though, Bud.”

Harry takes the cup and a big sip. He’s left with a red punch mustache.

“That wall is stupid!” Harry proclaims.

“So stupid,” says Sirius indignantly.

Harry huffs. Sirius pokes Harry’s ribs a few times and Harry smiles again.

“Your potion worked,” Harry looks at Remus while he hands his cup to Sirius.

“Excellent,” Remus nods once and then stands up. Sirius stands up too.

“Wanna hear a story, Harry?” asks Remus.

With no warning, Harry grabs Remus’ hand tightly and begins to pull him towards the crowd of children sitting on the carpet across the store. Remus looks back over his shoulder at Sirius, mildly panicked. He stumbles a bit as Harry pulls, but when he looks back again he smiles and laughs a little in unbelief when Sirius just responds with a what can you do shrug.

Sirius is left standing alone holding an empty punch cup, utterly and completely smitten.

Rewind...

Storytime at Crescent City Books is every Sunday afternoon at 1 pm. Normally Remus uses this time to catch up on paperwork. Normally Remus stays in the back office and lets Lucy and Marlene handle the kids and the crowds and the mild chaos that comes with kids and crowds. But this Sunday the store feels fuller than usual and Remus is really pleased that the extra effort in marketing seems to be paying off. 

He is handing a receipt to a customer when he notices two small boys enter with a young woman. Remus sees the woman lead one of the boys away and the other boy just stands there. Remus watches for a moment for the woman to come back but she doesn’t appear concerned at all.

“Ah, hey there,” Remus says gently. “Where’s your grown-up?”

“Oh he’s right out there but he’s coming too” says the boy.

“Um, alright. Why don’t you just, just sit here and play while we wait for him?”

The boy shrugs and sits at the table filled with toys and books.

Suddenly a man comes rushing into the shop. Remus has seen this panicked parental look before and watches the boy perk up confirming his suspicions. 

“He’s over here,” says Remus. He watches as the man’s shoulders drop with relief, and then he comes rushing over to the boy.

While the man is speaking with the boy Remus notices three things. One, this man is so great with his son, wow. Two, jesusfuck is this man hot, slap me in the face. And three, he forgot number three because jawline and man bun and Remus thinks his brain may have stopped working and Shit! I should say something!

“Um, sorry to interrupt, but we’re about to start a story if you guys would like to join.”

I’m so lame. Please stay. Please stay.

The dark-haired man turns around and Remus gets his first good look at him and Oh. My. God.

Remus can’t breathe. He can’t think. He can’t hear. Full Stop. Full Tilt. He’s pretty sure he actually said “Wow” out loud while drooling on to the man’s converse. This man is absolutely breathtaking. He’s casually dressed but put together nicely. His eyes are piercingly blue, almost grey, off-set by his long, dark eyelashes. His long hair is midnight black, pulled up into a bun and little pieces have fallen out and frame his face. His jaw is strong and striking, covered with stubble. His pouty lips look so kissable. And seeing him interact so lovingly with this kid is so hot that it makes Remus’ chest ache.

“Hi,” says the man and when he smiles at Remus his eyes flash like lightning with mischief and mirth. His expression is almost a smirk. His smile is confident but charming, straight white teeth, like he knows how attractive he is but down plays it.

He said hi to me.

Speak.

Speak Lupin! “Oh, um, hi. I’m Remus. Welcome to Crescent City Books.”

PULL IT TOGETHER MAN.

“Very nice to meet you, Remus. I’m-”

A cry rings out through the room and the man immediately turns to respond to the small boy running back over.

Remus is so captivated by the loving scene of this man comforting his son that it takes him a moment to realize he’s just standing there gawking.

He grabs a cup and pours a little punch for the boy, then kneels down next to the pair. 

“Harry, is it?” he asks the man, who nods back. “Hey Harry, can you keep a secret?” he asks. This is a game that his mother used to play and it never failed her. Remus doesn’t know what made him remember it at this moment, but he’s grateful.

Harry picks up his head, sniffles, and nods.

“Well,” Remus looks around conspiratorially, playing it up, “This punch here is actually a magic healing potion.” Remus makes his eyes go wide and he nods solemnly at Harry. “If it’s ok with your dad, I’ll share some with you.”

“Uncle!” the man shouts, “Ah, that is, Harry is my nephew so I’m his uncle.”

Interesting. And fucking adorable.

“If it’s ok with your uncle,” Remus smiles, “I’ll share some magic with you.”

“Really?” Harry asks.

“Yup.”

Harry looks from the cup to Remus, then to his uncle.

Man-Bun McHotness leans in to the cup in Remus’ hand. He’s close enough for Remus to smell his aftershave or cologne, and Remus very nearly wimpers out loud. McHotness looks down into the cup, “Looks like good, strong magic to me. Your call though, Bud.”

Harry takes the cup and a big sip. He’s left with a red punch mustache.

“That wall is stupid!” Harry proclaims.

“So stupid,” says McHotness indignantly. Remus has to look away so he can stop smiling like a lunatic.

McHotness pokes Harry’s ribs a few times and Harry smiles again.

Done. I’m done. RIP insides. Goodnight Moon.

“Your potion worked,” Harry looks at Remus while he hands his cup to his uncle.

“Excellent,” Remus nods once and then stands up. McHotness stands up too.

Don’t leave. Don’t leave. Don't leave.

“Wanna hear a story, Harry?” Remus asks.

With no warning, Harry grabs his hand tightly and begins to pull him towards the crowd of children sitting on the carpet across the store. Remus looks back over his shoulder to McHotness. Ah, your nephew is dragging me away here. He stumbles a bit as Harry pulls, looks back to McHotness. McHotness just shrugs in a what can you do sort of way. Remus can only laugh and give in to his fate as he trails after Harry.

Chapter Text

Storytime goes flawlessly. Harry sits inbetween him and McHotness the whole time, captivated by Marlene’s character voices and cracking up at the story. 

Marlene deserves a raise.

After storytime, Remus does his best to work and focus on anything other than McHotness as he and Harry peruse around the store. Remus can’t help himself though. Every few seconds his eyes lift of their own accord, drawn to the other man like a magnet. It starts as small, quick glances, but soon he is watching, lingering, seeing what he can get away with. Most of the time McHotness keeps his attention on Harry, but every now and then Remus looks, and McHotness is already looking back. 

And right now as Remus helps his customers he can feel eyes on him. He just knows that if he looks up… yep , McHotness is watching him too.

He’s looking at me!! Oh my god! He’s watching me too.

“Yes ma’am, that’s under the travel section right over there. No problem, happy to help.”

Oh my god. I’m a 28-year-old man fangirling over a cute boy I just met.

“I can ring you up right here, ma’am. Hi, how are you today?”

He looked again! OH MY GOD.

“Have a great day. Thank you for coming in.”

AAAAAAAAHHHHHH He’s looking He’s looking He’s looking

Remus feels a blush creeping up his face, so he looks away. He’s grinning like a teenager, but he barely cares. 

Across the room, strategically out of McHotness’s eye line, Lucy and Marlene are leaning around a bookshelf, pantomiming crazy motions and mouthing all sorts of things to Remus like “Go!” and “Go for it!” and “Talk to him!” and Remus’ personal favorite, “What the fuck are you doing!? Boy. Hot. Go. Talk.”

Boy. Hot. Hot. Boy. Hot boy walking! Walking over to me! shitshitshitshit

Man-Bun McHotness sets a small stack of books on the counter in front of Remus.

Ok Lupin, breathe. Breathe and ask his name. You can do this.

He clears his throat, “Find everything ok?”

“Found... more than I was expecting,” McHotness leans on the counter a little as he hands Remus some cash.

“I’m so glad,” smiles Remus.

“Uncle Rus, can I get this one too?”

Remus raises his eyebrows, “How ‘bout it, Uncle Rus? This one too?”

McHotness laughs and Remus feels triumphant. 

“Fine, yes, this one too please,” he pulls his wallet back out from his back pocket and hands Remus more cash.

Just talk to him. He’s just a person.

Just an alarmingly out of your league person. 

“So, um, I didn’t get a chance to ask your name earlier, and I-”

“R-U-S,” says Harry helpfully.

“Hey, that’s great. Good job, Harry!” says Remus. “R-U-S?” he asks McHotness.

“Ahh… Rus, just call me Rus. It was really nice to meet you, Remus. Your store is…” McHotness’ eyes look around the room some.

“Small, I know,” Remus finishes for him, “but we have a big heart. Our customers are loyal and they’ll see us through.”

Rus looks taken aback at Remus’ words, and Remus is unsure what he said to cause that reaction. Remus rushes to explain.

“See, they’re building a big ole Potter Brothers Superstore a few blocks away. But that’s alright, the world isn’t driven by greedy chain stores. I’ve been in business for a long time. My mother started this store when I was eight years old and I watched her my whole life. She wasn’t just selling discounted books. She was serving people and creating a safe space for everyone in our community. I mean, when you read a book it becomes a part of you and then you bond with other people and it creates conversation and education and harmony and I… I have gotten carried away. I’m sorry.” 

“No, it’s just…” Rus starts. “I think you’re wonderful.” Rus blinks and quickly says “IT’S wonderful. It’s a wonderful store.”

Remus fights a smiles, hands Rus the bag and his change, watching as their fingers brush and linger longer than necessary. Remus doesn't pull his hand away, just lifts his eyes to meet Rus'. He doesn't realize he's holding his breath. 

“Thanks, Weemus!” Harry's sweet voice breaks whatever spell they were under and Remus sets both his palms on the counter, finally taking a breath.  

Remus smiles down to him, “Anytime Harry! Come back anytime.” 

Please. Soon. Come back very soon. Bring your Uncle.

Rus clears his throat. “Well, we’ll see you around? It really was nice to meet you, Remus.”

“Oh! He’s running!” Remus points behind Rus just as Harry runs out the shop door. 

“Shit,” says Rus.

Remus watches with endearment as Rus scrambles to pick up their things.

“Shit!” Rus takes off after Harry, stopping for just a moment to turn back in the doorway and wave, “Bye Remus!”

Remus smiles and waves back and before he can lower his hand McHotness is gone. 

And Remus stands there, just watching the closed door, arm dropping slowly, wondering what the fuck just happened.

“Okay! Who was that!? Marlene shrieks appearing out of nowhere causing Remus to jump. 

“Marlene, keep your voice down.” 

Lucy grabs Remus by the shoulders and spins him so he’s looking directly down at

“Yes, but WHO WAS THAT!??” she whisper-shouts the last part, smiling and playfully shaking Remus’ shoulders.

“Stop,” he laughs, “Ok, stop.”

“He was so into you Remus!” says Marlene. 

“I don’t know,” Remus grins. He can’t help it. He leans back onto the counter, pushing his hands into his pockets and shrugging, “Yeah. Maybe.”

“Maybe?? Remus he couldn’t take his eyes off you!” states Marlene.

Lucy nods emphatically in agreement.

“He was… very nice,” he nods.

“Remus!” he girls say together.

He laughs again, “What do you want me to say!? Ok fine. He was…good looking. Fine as hell? Plucked from my dreams? Yes, ok Marlene. All of the above, ok? Big ol' hell yes. But. He is also very gone now and I don’t know anything about him.”

“He’ll be back,” she says with full confidence. Nodding to herself before walking away.

“He really did seem into you.” Lucy squeezes his hand, smiles at him fondly, and leaves too. 

Remus stares out the shop window and sighs, “A guy can dream.” 

The following evening, Remus opens a bottle of wine, pours himself a large glass, and determinedly picks up his phone. It’s time.

“Hey, Gid. ...Yeah, it was ok. Good turn out. ...Yeah, thanks. Ah. Hey listen, can you come over, please? We need to talk.”

Three hours later Gideon walks out of Remus’ apartment holding a small box of his stuff. Gideon hadn’t been all that surprised when Remus broke up with him, but he was still upset. So was Remus. But when the conversation was all said and done, they both knew this was for the best. Remus truly hopes they can find their way back to some kind of friendship again.

Remus watched from the window, one last time as Gid drove away. Remus glanced at his computer but couldn’t bring himself to write. He sat as the table, head in hands, heart aching for a love, a something, a someone. He wasn’t even sure anymore. 

Its very rare for Remus to drink more than a beer or two, much less get drunk. But after Gideon leaves, he finishes off the wine that he and Gideon started, and then another bottle by himself. There are more bottles after that but Remus doesn’t keep track. He stumbles to his bed and falls flat on his back. He grabs his phone.

R: I did it luce. lucy 

R: Luuuuuucceeee

R: U awake

R: Lulululululu

R: In the skiii wi di mondzzzzz

L: Oh my god! What the hell Remus!

L: Are you drunk!? Where are you?

R: NO!

R: The wine was already opin so i coudnt jus let it go bad. 

R: ok Possbly tipsy.

R: Ok yes. 

R: yesssss

R: Drunkeee drunk mcdrunkerton 

R: myhome 

R: i live here

L: *facepalm*

R: Your face is drunk

R: call me mr drunkface 

R: why don't i have a drunk name LUUUU

L: And just WHY are you drunk, Brother?

R: LuuuCCC

R: I did it!

L: … dare I ask. Did what??

R: O right LAMOA

R: no wait  what 

R: L M A O 

R: yes! lmao

L: DID WHAT REMUS

R: OK LU-C shh jeez

R: I broke up with him

R: Gideon

L: Oh. Well, I’m sorry it didn’t work out, but I really do think this is for the best <3

L: You ok? You sound pretty drunk.

R: Bc I’m terrible person and fell in love at work with manbun mchotness 

L: ???

R: I didn’t mean to! but his eye had blue! So blue! Grey even!!

R: He was so pretty and I’m not good at the talking but he was looking at meee

R: And gid should have more than me

R: I don’t know more Lucy

L: Remus. Full stop. 

L: I’m coming over

R: But I’m sleeping 

R: I am sleep. 

L: I have a key.

R: k but be careful wen u com in bc my room is spinning

The next morning, Remus is hungover and his whole face hurts. He pulls out two mugs for him and Lucy and makes coffee. He breathes in the change and the quiet.

“Oh yes, coffee.” Lucy mumbles. “Oh you go back to bed.” Lucy takes one look at him and points back to Remus’ room. 

“You sure? I don’t know what got into me last night.”

”Remus, you’re allowed to take a day off. Marlene and I can handle it.”

”Yeah, yeah you’re right. Ok. Thank you.”

He texts Marlene, takes migraine medication, and sleeps the rest of day.

To: thruthemoonlight  

Subject: vitamin D

Moony. I was warned. I was warned about summer in New Orleans. I heard all about the humidity and the temperatures. I was told the horror stories. I know what humid summers are like! At least, I thought I did! Nothing. Nothing could have prepared me for August in New Orleans. JEsus cHriST (I’m going to type like that a lOt now beCaUse I knoW it BotHErs YoU *evil laugh)! It’s like living in an oven! Everywhere I look, people are just running from one air-conditioned building to another. Don’t even think about stepping outside without sunglasses, the light will burn the retinas out of your face. And shower? Why bother! I shower, am clean and ready for my day, open my front door, and BAM! 0.04 seconds later I am covered in sweat again. Why the fuck do we live here?

Food...music...diversity...history...festivals… yeah yeah shut up.

To: Padfoot312

Subject: hey

Sorry I didn’t write yesterday. I had a rough weekend and drank my liquor cabinet because I can’t be trusted to make good decisions sometimes, and the next morning my brain tried to climb out of my ears so I stayed in bed way longer than I should have. ANYWAY!

So… have you finally decided on your favorite snowball flavor?? 

Sirius is standing, scanning the store.

“Ok final checks, Pete. Let’s do this walkthrough. We’ve only got one chance-”

“To make a good impression. I know Sirius. But relax, the store is perfect. Calm down.”

“He’s right Sirius,” says James, “This is our best store to date. I can’t believe how good everything turned out. Actually, both of you stay here.”

James climbs up on a chair and cups his hands around his mouth, “Everyone! Can I get you to gather over here please!”

The staff all make their way over to the coffee shop area.

“Thanks, everyone. As you know, we open in just over an hour and we all have things to do. But first I just wanted to officially say, welcome to the Potter Brothers family!”

There’s a small round of applause.

“I also want to take a moment to thank our creative director and resident perfectionist, Mr. Sirius B. Potter here, for taking the lead on this project and absolutely smashing this new store. It is our best one yet!”

There is more applause and Sirius waves his thanks to the room, then gives James the “that’s enough, knock it off” look.

“He’s too modest. Ok! Any questions you have today go to me or him, alright? And check in with Peter before you leave for the day. Remember, we are serving this neighborhood and are honored to be here. We have full confidence in you. Have a great day everyone!”

As James climbs down Sirius folds his arms, “Unnecessary Potter.”

“What? Standard welcome speech. What’s the problem?” James smiles.

Sirius rolls his eyes but he can’t fight his smile completely, “I’m too busy for you. I see that crooked shelving from all the way across the room. Let’s go, Pete!”

The store is phenomenal. It’s modern but warm and inviting. The clean lines, simple decor, and bright but gentle lighting make a wonderful shopping experience. The coffee shop fills the space with enticing aromas. The sale rack is large and full of options. Sirius is proud of all the hard work they’ve accomplished. Opening day is a massive success. 

At the end of the day Peter claps Sirius on the shoulder in congratulations, “No protests. No pick it lines. The neighborhood loves us!”

Sirius smiles. 

Remus is standing, scanning the store.

“We should protest or pick it or something! They can’t do this to our neighborhood,” says a regular customer. Remus notices she hasn’t bought anything today.

“Oh, well thank you Ms. Trudeau, that’s very kind of you.”

“Remus, I’ve told you a hundred times, please call me Mary.”

“Mary. Thank you. We’ll be ok.”

“Well, you let me know if you need anything, alright? I can mobilize my book club in a heartbeat and we have some powerful friends!”

“Well, your support means the world to us.”

Remus watches as other customers leave without purchases. He sighs.

To: Padfoot312

Subject: zzz

I can’t believe it’s already Fall. The days have been blurring together. It’s just all work right now for me. New Orleans in the Fall has something mysterious and almost magical and I don’t want to miss it. The weather has finally stopped throwing a temper tantrum and feels livable again. Fall festivals are popping up everywhere. There are pumpkins and leaves and soon Halloween costumes. By the way, there’s no better place to spend Halloween than in the Quarter, with all its alleyways and haunted tours and history. I have a friend who throws a massive costume party every year. I’m not much for costumes, but it’s usually a good time. Something to look forward to other than work.

Work has been...challenging lately. I’m exhausted. There’s no way to even hide it anymore. I feel like I’m working three times as hard and barely seeing any benefit from it. It makes me nauseous to think about letting anyone go, but I don’t know what options I have. For one thing, I care about these people and their livelihoods. And two, I already feel strapped so the idea of losing any help is disheartening. I’m a bit out of ideas though. I’m not sure what to do anymore. I probably just need a good night’s sleep. Thanks for listening.

To: thruthemoonlight  

Subject: go to the mattresses

Moony! Let me help. Business is what I do! I know we said no details. I respect that, really. But tell me whatever you feel comfortable with and let me help. I’m here for you. We can figure this out together. 

I’m going to a costume party too! I just got the invite the other day. Can we brainstorm costume ideas? I’m going to this party with my brother and he’s the epitome of obnoxious ideas. I’m obnoxious too I’ll have you know. But I must look good while doing it. 

But to re-focus here… I’ll always listen. I’m here for you.

“We’re going to have a good night Remus and your costume looks amazing!” says Lucy in her best pep talk voice as they walk up to the house linked at the elbows. The party is clearly in full swing and the music and chatter spills out into the night air.

“If you say so.”

“I do.”

Remus and Lucy have gone for a 20’s mobster type look. Lucy looks stunning in her silver sequins dress with the iconic low waist and long string of pearls wrapped elegantly around her neck. Remus agreed to the 20s costume because it was the option with the least amount of work. He’s wearing a fedora, black dress shirt, white tie, white suspenders, with black dress pants. He isn’t entirely uncomfortable.

“Come on, Remus, you need a night off.”

“Alright. Alright. ...the hat’s not too much?”

Lucy rolls her eyes and rings the doorbell.

Remus mingles around the crowded room. He makes small talk, sips his drink, smiles. He brushes off the few people that bring up his struggling book store. It’s not the night for that.

Lucy seems to be having a ball and is occupied with a group of her friends.

Remus heads to the bar to get a refill, when he stops short.

Holy Shit

There’s a man dressed as Han Solo standing at the bar. Han Solo is definitely Man Bun McHotness. Standing at the bar waiting for his own refill, is Rus. 

Chapter Text

Remus stares hard for a few moments, wanting to be absolutely sure that the Han Solo-like person is in fact Rus from the bookstore.

It is! Damn, my memory didn’t do him justice.

Remus walks over to the bar and stands a polite, but noticeable, distance away from Rus. He watches him out of the corner of his eye. When the bartender comes over Remus makes his move.

“Gin and tonic please,” says Remus.

“Whiskey neat,” says Rus.

“Rus?” Remus feigns surprise.

“Oh!” Rus’ surprise looks very genuine. “Ah.. Hi.”

“Hi. Do you remember me? From the bookstore?”

“Of course I do. From the bookstore.”

They both turn and take their drinks from the bartender. Rus tips him generously and Remus is impressed. He takes a deep breath and presses on.

“I was hoping you'd come back by the store sometime. ...How’ve you been?”

“Um, busy. Will you excuse me?” He shoots Remus a quick, forced-looking smile and then walks away across the large room. Remus loses him in the crowd.

Ooookay. What the hell was th-

“Hi, I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Lily Potter.” This beautiful red-head dressed as Princess Leia smiles kindly and sticks out her hand.

Remus is still dazed and distracted by the bizarre encounter with Rus so he doesn’t really register her words. He shakes her hand on auto-pilot.

“I’m Remus, nice to meet you.”

“So Remus, I see you met Sirius. He couldn’t stop talking about y-”

“I’m sorry. Did you say Sirius?”

“Yes, he’s my brother-in-law. He said he met you a little while back.”

Potter. Lily Potter. Sirius… Potter. ….

“Hey, are you alright?”

“Ah… sorry, will you excuse me? It was very nice to meet you, Lily.”

Remus drops his glass onto a table as he walks quickly around the rooms scanning for any Han Solo shaped people. He spots him over by the food table and stalks across the room without stopping to think anything through. He’s too pissed off.

“Sirius. Sirius Potter?”

“Hello, Remus. Nice to see you again.”

“You! What— You were—Oh I can’t believe you!”

“Excuse me?”

“I can’t believe I thought you were flirting! I can’t believe I fell for that crap. Ooo I thought you were so charming,” Remus pitches his voice down in a mock-imitation of Sirius, "Rus, just call me Rus.”

“Ok hang on-”

“Why were you even there ‘Rus’ or whatever your real name even is!?”

“Ok! First of all, my nephew, Harry—remember him? Yeah, he couldn’t pronounce Si-RI-us and it came out Rus, and it stuck. Not that it’s any of your business. And secondly, I was spending the day with said nephew when we walked by your shop!”

“Oh right. Just happened to drop by the shop then? Happened to be strolling by with your adorable nephew, and I’m guessing he just had to scope out the competition!?” 

“Competition!? If you think for one moment—,” Sirius takes a deep breath and tries again, “Look. I was walking with Harry and he wanted to- You know what. It doesn't matter. If you think for one moment that some little mom-and-pop shop is my competition, then you are nowhere near as intelligent as I thought, and maybe you shouldn’t even be in the book business, much less with the big boys.”

“...” Remus is stunned. He feels slapped in the face. He’s speechless, mind blank, mouth hanging open for a response that never comes.

“Ah… Hello, I’m Lucy. Nice to meet you.” Lucy's eyes dart between the faux Han Solo and her gobsmacked-looking brother. 

“Sirius Potter. How are you?”

“Sirius Potter. Right. Um, hey Remus, can I talk to you… over there?”

“Yeah. Yeah, um…”

Lucy takes his arm and steers them over to the door and out onto the front porch where it's significantly quieter.

“What the hell was that, Remus? Sirius Potter, as in Potter Brothers? Are you alright? You don’t look alright.”

“Luce, I need to go home.” Remus’ voice is soft, distracted. His head feels fuzzy and he can’t get a clear thought. He wants to blame to the gin but he knows better.

“Ok, yeah, of course. Do you want me to come with you?”

“No, no I just want to go. Thanks though. Will you be alright getting home?”

“Yeah, no worries. I have lots of friends here.”

“Ok, text me when you get home please.”

“Remus, I’m worried—”

“All good Luce, just tired,” Remus pulls off his fedora, drops it on to Lucy’s head, and kisses her cheek, “See you soon.”

He walks away as quickly as he can without running. He pulls his tie loose and shoves his hands into his pockets. He just wants to get home, curl up in a ball, and hide away for a very long time. He feels like such a fool. The more distance he can put between himself and Sirius fucking Potter the better.

To: thruthemoonlight  

Do you ever feel like you become the worst version of yourself? In a moment when someone provokes you or insults you, instead of pausing and thinking, you just fire back? As soon as I feel even the slightest questioning of my integrity I see red. Shots fired. And I just… retaliate. Actually it's more like I go on the offensive before they can react. I shut them down before they even have an opportunity to explain their position. I’m so fucking impulsive. I just pounce! I unleash all my spite and condescension and it all comes shooting out in a blaze of fury.

I feel no victory though. My enemy is defeated but I’m only left questioning the very integrity I was trying to protect in the first place. 

I’m sure you have no idea what I’m talking about.

To: Padfoot312

Know what you're talking about - are you kidding me? I know exactly what you mean and I am completely jealous! When I’m provoked or confronted I just stop. I go completely blank. I just hear this white noise and my heart races and my brain simply refuses to work. Actually, I’m still reeling from a recent experience with an absolute bottom-dweller of a man who completely belittled my existence. ….And Nothing. I still have absolutely nothing to say to this man. My brain simply refuses to engage with people like him. What I wouldn’t give for a bit of your fire.

Oh, by the way, Happy Thanksgiving!

To: thruthemoonlight  

Who is this bottom-dweller man!? How DARE he! I’m outraged. Where is he? We’re gonna fight. Just say the word Moony and I will bring him down. Retribution and vengeance.

Wouldn’t it be great if you could give me some of your tongue holding powers and I could give you some of my zingers? Although, I should warn you, when you actually do let fly the thing you want to say in the face of the person you want to say it to, remorse inevitably follows. With great power comes great responsibility and all that.

Happy Thanksgiving back!

Hey, do you think we should meet?

Sirius’ hand hovers over the send button.

Fuck it. I’ve got to know. 

He clicks send.

Meet!?

Meet?

Christ on a cracker.

Remus closes his laptop without replying. “Why is every boy in this town losing their goddamn mind lately.”

Meet. He wants to meet?

I can’t think about boys right now. I have to get to work.

Remus thinks about Padfoot and Sirius all the way to work.

“So he wants to meet!? Shit, this is exciting!” 

“Marlene, I’m not going to meet him. He could be anyone.”

"Well, anyone with the internet, you mean."

"Thank you. Important distinction," Remus rolls his eyes.

“Remus! He could be the love of your life!” Marlene insists dreamily.

“Are you fucking serious right now?” 

“Look. All I’m saying is it’s a natural progression. You guys have been talking constantly for what, months now. I mean, I can actually tell the days he writes to you. Don’t give me that look! You’re lighter, happier, I don’t know. But it 'makes sense that he wants to take this next step. And I think you do too. Are you telling me, you can look me in the eyes, and honestly say you don’t want to know this person more? Hmm?”

Well...fuck.

“I’ll...think about it.”

“Good. Now get to work! Don’t you own this place or something!?”

“Marlene?”

“Yes, Boss-man?”

“Shut up.”

She smiles and salutes and leaves Remus with his thoughts.

“James, all I’m saying is we could be doing more. Hear me out. What if we found another location, ok? What if found a smaller spot and had it be a publicly marketed LGBTQ store? Queer writers, Queer illustrators, Queer book clubs, I don’t know. Just a queer safe space. Meetups, author readings, educational seminars, there’s so much advocacy we could be doing.”

“Sirius, I do hear you. And I’m not disagreeing with you. At all. All I’m saying is that we just opened this new store, and yes, initially we did well, but our numbers aren’t that great. We’ve got to focus on fighting off the competition and marketing the store we’ve already got. One thing at a time, ok? Let's bring the numbers up and then we’ll absolutely talk. I love the idea of you meeting your fabulous gay husband at a fabulous gay bookstore surrounded by fabulous gay people.”

“Yeah well… I hate you,” Sirius says with no venom. It’s his brother-speak for 'I know you’re right but I’ll never admit it' and 'you said something supportive and I’m grateful.'

“Yes, and you hate me fabulously.” This is James’ brother-speak for 'I love you exactly as you are.'

To: Padfoot312

I was in the grocery store today and heard Christmas music. I always have this moment the first time I hear it every year. It’s like it kick-starts my holiday spirit or something. It reminds me to go dig out all the decorations. Deck the halls. Fa la la. Jingle the bells etc. I suppose I should ask if you celebrate Christmas before I keep monologing about it. 

Christmas has become a bittersweet thing to me. It was my mother’s favorite time of year and she savored it. She filled our family life with traditions and special decorations and meals and moments and I will treasure them for the rest of my life. I miss her so badly sometimes it’s hard to breathe.

And I need her right now. I need her to make me some tea and sit with me and tell me how to right all the things going wrong in my life. I want so badly to live as fearlessly as she did.

To: thruthemoonlight  

Well, I have tea. Make some tea. Tell me whatever you need to. Let’s figure this out. You’ve helped me so much, let me help you. I think we could make a great team.

To: Padfoot312

I wish you could help. It absolutely pains me to admit it, but it’s true - my business is in trouble. We said no specifics, but I’ll say, I have done everything I know to do to make it work. I feel like it’s all I ever do. I had a dream of this business becoming something more, something meaningful and impactful. Now it’s just this thing that I stress about day and night. I genuinely do not want to give up. I do not want this dream to die, but like I said, I’m out of energy and resources and ideas. 

The tea helped. Good idea.

To: thruthemoonlight  

Hmm. It’s hard to help without specifics, but the good news is, business is what I do best! What I can say is, if this is your dream, then FIGHT. Fight to the death. I know you worry about being brave, this is your chance! It’s not personal, it’s business. It’s not personal. It’s business! Say that to yourself every time you think you’re losing your nerve.

This is your dream and you deserve to have something amazing. Go to the mattresses. 

“ONE TWO THREE FOUR! WE DON’T WANT YOUR SUPERSTORE! FIVE SIX SEVEN EIGHT! GO AND FIND ANOTHER STATE!”

“Wow. They are…”

“Passionate?” offered Sirius, “Don’t worry Pete, they always picket the big bad chain store.”

“Seems like there’s a lot more people out there today,” says Peter looking out the window.

“Peter. Let’s focus on the people inside the store, ok?”

“Remus! This email is from nola.com! They want to interview you about the store! This is incredible.”

“Ah… Wow. Ok wow.”

'If this is your dream, then FIGHT'

'You deserve to have something amazing.'

”Yeah. Ok, give me the phone. Let’s fight back.”

“Yes!” Lucy and Marlene high five while Remus picks up the phone.

I’ll show you business with the ‘big boys’, Sirius B. Potter.

It’s Christmas Eve and Remus sits alone in the office long after the store is closed. He is just staring at his computer screen. He simply can’t believe the numbers he is looking at, but he’s done the math three times. He cut Marlene’s hours today and it gutted him.

This barely covers payroll. 

“Ugh! All this work. All this fucking publicity and interviews and bullshit and it’s barely made a difference!” He leans back in his chair, rubs his face with his hand and pinches the bridge of his nose. 

He stands up and walks out into the main room of the store. There are white lights hung all over the room, ornaments hanging from the shelves, garland and fake snow in the windows. His mother’s artificial tree is in the corner. 

“What do I do, Mom?” He runs his hand along a shelf. “What would you do?”

*PING*

L: WHERE ARE YOU? 

L: Get your ass over here and don’t make me kill you on Christmas!

L: Rem. Mom always said, family first store second.

L: Plus I saved you some pie.

R: omw

R: thx lu

To: Padfoot312

Happy New Years! 

Hey, you know all the business stuff we’ve been talking about… I need help. Do you still want to meet?

To: thruthemoonlight  

Happy New Year! I would love to meet you. Where? When?

Sirius walks to the coffee shop with a mixed bag of emotions. He’s so excited he wants to run the whole way there. He’s so nervous he might just throw up. He’s practically vibrating with anticipation. He zips his coat a bit higher when the cold, biting wind blows.

“Shit it's cold!" James blows into his hands, "And we’re from fucking Chicago!” When Sirius doesn't reply he goes on, “Ok, so he’s just going to be in there? And then what? You sweep him off his feet?”

“I don’t know James. I don’t know. I’m just gonna… meet him, say hi and take it from there. He said he wants to talk business. That’s hardly a romantic evening.”

“But you like him, yes? Like for real?”

“James,” Sirius sighs, ”If he’s not a serial killer or some crazy racist idiot, I may just..." Kiss him on the spot. "Yes. I like him. A lot. I’ve never connected with anyone the way I connect with him.”

“Ok. Ok. If you’re in, I’m in. Always." James places his hands on Sirius' shoulders and turns him toward the coffee shop door, "Go in there and get him!”

“Ahh…. can you just… look for me? Please?”

“Are you serious?”

“I’m always Siri-”

“I heard it.” James says with a straight face.

“Just look will you!?" Sirius spins James towards the door. "He said he’ll be wearing a green shirt and have a Saints tumbler on the table.”

“Alright, alright. Let me look," James peers covertly through the window, "Ok… oh! I see a Saints cup! ...Oooh.”

Sirius halts his sidewalk pacing, “What!? What!?”

“Ah, well, you know that guy from that other bookstore, Remus Lupin?”

“Yes, so? Who cares about Remus Lupin?”

“Well… if you don’t like Lupin, you are not going to like this person. Because it is Remus Lupin.”

Sirius is frozen for a moment because James’ words do not compute. He bolts to the window and peers inside. Sure enough, Remus Lupin is sitting at a small table in the back of the coffee shop. He looks absolutely incredible in the deep green sweater, the v-neck gives Sirius a tease of his strong collar bones, and the soft lighting makes him look cozy and golden. And yes, there is a black and gold Saints go-cup on the corner of his table. 

Is this a fucking joke??

Sirius backs away slowly, speechless and stunned.

“What do you want to do?” James asks softly.

Sirius thinks for a moment, looks up and down the street. His shoulders drop, “Nothing. I’m not going to do anything.”

“You’re going to stand him up?”

“I... ,” Sirius sighs and struggles to find words to say. He shoves his hands into his coat pockets and turns away, “I’m going for a walk. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Sirius wait—”

“Goodnight James.”

Remus sits as still as possible, but he’s so nervous his leg bounces without consulting his brain. His stomach is fluttering with butterflies and he can barely drink his tea. He knows he’s sitting in a coffee shop but right now it feels more like a roller coaster as he checks his watch. Again.

So he’s a few minutes late. No big deal.

Carefully he adjusts his Saints cup closer to the edge of the table attempting to make it as obvious as possible. 

He could still show.

Remus runs his hand over his hair, again, and unnecessarily straightens his sweater. Again.

He is compulsively checking the door every four seconds. His excitement has turned to confusion, but he’s still hopeful. As he's sipping his tea and watching the door over the rim of his mug, all of a sudden who should walk in but Sirius fucking Potter. Remus almost spits out his tea.

What the fuck.

Remus' brain is short-circuiting. Sirius is so handsome Remus wants to melt. Sirius is also so infuriating that Remus wants to punch him. He can't do this right now, but there’s no way to hide. Nowhere to go. Sirius spots him immediately and makes his way over.

Oh shit. Come on.

“Hello, fancy meeting you here.”

“Hello Rus— Sirius. Good evening.” Remus sits as casually as possible for someone with a malfunctioning brain.

“You look nice. Green’s a good color on you.”

“Thank you. Please go away.”

“Oh! Hot date?”

“Yes, and he’ll be here any minute so just go. Please.”

“Fine,” Sirius puts up his hands, “Fine.” And immediately sits backwards in the chair directly behind Remus. 

“Behind me!?" Remus twists in his chair towards him, "Are you serious right now?” 

“I’m always Sirius.”

“I— ew. That’s awful. Why would you do that?”

“Force of habit. Bad puns and black eyes apparently."

"What?"

"Anyway, tell me about this hot date.”

“No." Remus turns back forward, "I’m not even talking to you. I don’t even like you.”

“You don’t even know me.”

"I know if I did get to know you I know what I would find. I’d find a giant gaping hole where a heart should be and instead of a brain I’d find a cash register with a discount sign!”

Sirius doesn’t say anything.

Remus sits up a little straighter, “I just had a breakthrough.”

“Oh? What’s that?”

“I guess I should say thank you. For the first time in my life when confronted with a horrible, insensitive person, I finally thought of exactly what I wanted to say and just said it!”

“Well congratulations. It was the perfect cocktail of poetry and condescension.”

“Condescension! Let me tell you a thing about—”

“Don’t misunderstand me. I’m trying to pay you a complement.” Sirius picks up Remus’ Saints cup. “Oh, what’s this? Saints’ fan?

“What are you doing? Give me that!” Remus grabs for it but Sirius moves it away from him.

“You sell these in your store! Reminds me of the first day I met you.”

“The first day you lied to me.” Remus snatches his cup back and sets it carefully in the corner where it was. 

“I did not lie to you.” 

“Yes you did.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Yes you did! You did not tell me who you were or even why you were there. You snuck in and I don't know, chatted me up. And oh ho, I fell for it like an idiot!” Remus uses his mock-imitation voice again, “Oh hi I’m Rus and I’m just adorable with my nephew and my man bun and my bullshit.”

“I did not lie to you!” Sirius gets up and moves back to the chair at Remus’ table in spite of Remus’ gestures of protest. “I’ll move if someone else comes for this chair, ok? I never lied to you. I was walking with Harry and we saw the storytime and he ran in. That’s 100% true. You caught me off guard... which is saying something.”

“Oh you sad multi-millionaire. I feel so sorry for you.”

Remus perks up as the coffee shop door opens. An elderly man walks in and looks around.

“I’m going to take a wild guess that that’s not him,” says Sirius.

Remus slumps a bit in his chair.

“And will you be mean to this mystery man too, I wonder?” says Sirius.

“Of course not! He’s nothing like you. He’s—he’s charming and actually means it. He’s funny and thoughtful,” Remus smiles looking down into his tea mug without meaning to. “He’s witty and kind and...”

“And he’s… not here?”

“Yes well, he will be. I don’t know what’s happened but I’m sure he has a good reason. There is not a cruel or unfeeling bone in his body, not that I’d expect you to understand that. And yes! Fine. My store may be small compared to your’s, but your sprawling discount mocha land has zero heart. No community. Gives nothing back. And maybe people will forget me, but they won’t forget the bookstore. They won’t forget my mother. And you. You will be forgotten too. Just another chain that can’t survive New Orleans. Just another suit.”

Sirius looks like he’s been slapped in the face. Remus can’t decide if he’s happy or if he’s just become the worst version of himself that he was warned about.

“Well,” Sirius swallows hard, “That is my cue. Take care Remus.” 

Sirius walks out and Remus doesn’t stop him.

After another half an hour it becomes abundantly clear that Padfoot312 is not going to come. Remus is hurt and embarrassed and really confused. He replays their emails in his head. He doesn’t understand anything about this night. It didn’t even occur to him that Padfoot might not show up, and to add insult to injury, Sirius fucking Potter did. Remus feels inside out.

He slowly stands, stretches his legs, and puts on his coat. He walks his dishes back to the counter and then out the coffee shop door, so distracted that he doesn’t even realize he’s left his favorite Saints cup sitting on the edge of the table.

When he gets home he goes to his computer and double checks his email and his discord. He’s already checked his phone, but he’s hoping for anything. Something. There’s nothing from Padfoot in his inbox. 

He turns off his computer. He turns off his phone. He turns off his lights and goes to bed.

Chapter Text

“Sooo!?” Lucy jumps off the desk chair the next morning as soon as Remus walks into the bookstore’s back office. The end of her words fall off as she takes in Remus’ face.

Remus knows he looks less than his best. He’s exhausted. He barely slept last night, just tossed and turned and scrolled aimlessly on his phone, trying for hours to forget the look on Sirius’ face right before he walked out on him. Remus is still haunted by it this morning. It’s consuming his thoughts and now on top of being embarrassed and hurt by being stood up, he’s ashamed at stooping so low and lashing out at Sirius. 

“Hey.” Remus drops his bag unceremoniously onto his desk. He drops into his chair and runs a hand over his face as he rocks back.

“Remus what happened? How did it go??” Lucy looks confused but still full of hope and anticipation. Remus only feels a wave of disappointment run through him and his brain replays the scene for the hundredth time.

“Well,” Sirius swallows hard, “ That is my cue. Take care, Remus.” Sirius’ quiet voice, his huge, sad eyes, the slouch of his shoulders, they flash in Remus' mind. He looked like a kicked puppy. Remembering it turns Remus’ stomach even now. 

“Lucy, he - he didn’t show,” Remus says with a small, sad smile. Saying it out loud for the first time makes it real in a way that Remus’ wasn’t expecting. Reality drops in his stomach like a gut punch. He spins his chair away, turning his back on Lucy and trying to collect himself. 

Why does this fucking guy effect me so damn much? UUUUggghh.

Lucy grabs his chair and spins him back. Her mouth opens and closes and a dozen expressions pass over her face. Mostly she looks at a loss for words. Remus knows the feeling.

“He didn’t? He didn’t show?” Her genuine shock is written all over her face, like this thought is unimaginable to her, and Remus loves his sister in this moment. He can see that the idea of him being stood up had not occurred to her once. 

“Nope,” Remus shakes his head, “And, just to pour salt in my wound, guess who did show up… Sirius. Fucking. Potter.”

“No!”

“Oh yes. Not only did he stroll into the same damn coffee shop, thank you universe. He sat at my table! Like he was invited or something! He sat there all… smug and hot and stupid and…,” Remus throws up his hands, “Infuriating! We argued and said some stupid shit back and forth. It was a hot fucking mess, Lucy. I don’t know why he just...ugh! He gets under my skin!”

Lucy’s eyebrows draw together and she opens her mouth like she’s about to ask a question, but then she stops herself.

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore, Lu. Let’s just get to work, ok? There’s always something to do.”

“Sooo!?” James says as soon as Sirius walks out of the elevator of their office building.

“Good morning to you too.”

James raises his eyebrows.

Sirius sighs as if giving into the inevitable, “I went back.”

“I knew it! I fucking knew you would! How was it? How’d he react? Tell me everything. Was he shocked? What’d he say? Wait! Let’s get some coffee.”

“James.”

“You’re right, let’s go someplace more private. We can sit in my office or go for a walk or-”

“James.”

“Tell me everything!”

“James!”

“What!?” James spins around, confused why Sirius isn’t following him but walking into his own office instead. James walks over quickly and closes the door. Sirius dumps his bag onto his desk and slouches into his chair. 

James gestures in an impatient, come on come on kind of way.

Sirius sighs, “It was… It did not go how I wanted it to. At all. So no, I didn’t tell him.” Sirius gives James a sarcastic smile.

“Wait. What? Why?”

“Because we fought, ok? It was ugly. I was ugly to him and he… I don’t know, reciprocated,” Sirius runs a hand through his hair, pushing it back, then shaking it out agitatedly. “It went to shit.”

“Ok...you fought. Explain.”

“I mean, we fought. Had a fight. I said shit. He said shit. It was really awful and the only pleasant thing was the way his curls fell over into his eyes and his fucking sweater paws when he got nervous.” Sirius holds his hands up in front of his face, as if he’ll see actual sweater paws on his own hands. He sighs, because all he sees is the stark white cuffs of his dress shirt, a far cry from the soft, velvety green of Remus’ cozy sweater. 

“You will be forgotten. Just another chain that can’t survive New Orleans. Just another suit.”

He drops his hands, “Look, can we just forget it. Please? I just want to get to work.”

James is quiet for a moment, unsure of how to respond. “Yeah. Sure, yeah alright. I’ll um, I’ll get you some coffee.”

“That’d be great. I didn't get much sleep last night.”

“Sirius… I just want you to be happy, you know that right?”

“Coffee would make me happy James.”

“No, I mean-”

“I know, Brother. ...Love you too.” Sirius turns resolutely, hyper focused on his computer screen.

James nods solemnly, then closes the door behind himself leaving Sirius alone in his office. The room feels too quiet, too still. He’s agitated, restless, and exhausted. 

Ugh. I fucked it all up.

Sirius runs a hand over his chest, but the pain is too deep inside for him to reach. In a spontaneous and masochistic moment, he pulls up his personal email. But of course, there’s no word from Moony. 

Why would there be. 

To: thruthemoonlight

Moony

Remus

Moony

I don’t know what to say.

This all went so wrong. I don’t even know where to start.

All I see is your beautiful brown eyes

I was such a dick. You have every right to be pissed. I didn’t know

How about we get snowballs and I explain everything

Fuck. 

It’s very late, a dark and quiet night. Remus has his windows open and the breeze is fluttering his linen curtains. Mellow, bluesy jazz music fills his space. His side-table lamp is the only light on and it fills his homey living room with a golden glow. He sips on his wine, and stares at his computer screen sitting in his lap. 

Fuck it.

To: Padfoot312

I’ve been thinking about you for several days now. The other night I went to meet you and you weren’t there. I was excited and open and ready for the adventure of this new place, and you never showed. And I really want to know what happened. I feel so fucking foolish, Padfoot. I just sat there like some excited kid, just waiting. 

And then, while I waited, someone else showed up - a man who’s made my professional life a nightmare. We quickly descended into an argument, but actually an amazing thing happened. For the first time in my life, when confronted, I said exactly what I wanted to say, in the exact moment I wanted to say it. I fired right back with venom. ...And then I felt awful, just as you said I would. I was cruel, and I’m never cruel. This man probably hasn’t thought twice about our encounter at all as I’m beyond inconsequential to him, but I can’t stop thinking, what if it did? What if it did matter to him? No matter what this person has done to me, there is no excuse for me to treat him badly.

Anyway, I really did want to meet you, talk to you face to face. I can only hope you have a good reason for not showing up, you don’t seem like the kind of person to do something like that.

I know this form of communication is odd. I know most of the time we talk about random nothingness. But I wanted to say, you and I have talked about so much nothingness. We’ve shared all these words about all these things - everything and nothing. I want you to know that all this nothing has meant more to me than so many “somethings.” And for that, I wanted to say thank you.

In his home office Sirius rereads the email. Twice. He has no idea no idea how to respond as the words hit him square in the chest and his emotions swirl like a tornado.

Remus continues to show just how good he is. Sirius feels like a better person just from having spoken to him. He’s a better man just from Remus yelling at him. God, he just wants to basque in Remus’ presence, hear his thoughts on everything, seek his advice, laugh at his jokes, see him smile. He'll sit and let Remus yell at him again if it means he gets to spend more time sitting across from him.

"This man probably hasn’t thought twice about our encounter at all."

Sirius paces around his apartment. He opens his fridge for no reason, slams it shut. He marches to his bedroom and changes into running clothes thinking he’ll clear his head, run out all these pent up thoughts and tangled emotions. 

“I’m beyond inconsequential to him.” That line makes him groan out loud. How did this all go so sideways?

As he’s walking back to his living room, running shoes in hand, he stops in the doorway to his office. His laptop is there, blank screen mocking him, calling to him, daring him to have the balls to find some goddamn words. He’s always had words for Moony. 

Not just words for Moony. Words for Remus.

“Goddamn it!” Sirius turns back to his bedroom, throws his shoes into his closet hard enough that two other pairs fall off the shelf. He stomps back into the office, plops into his chair, and wakes his computer up. His hands are poised on his keyboard. He’s ready. He stares at the blank email page. The cursor blinks at him. 

He has no words. 

Nothing. Nothing!?

“Ok!” He stands up, jumps around like a prize-fighter warming up, willing words to come.

Come on Sirius. Come on! You can do this.

He sits back in his chair, closes his eyes, and makes himself take a long, deep breath. Remus thinks himself inconsequential and Sirius will be damned before he let's Remus feel that way for one more moment.

He allows his mind to wonder, to recall some of his favorite words from Moony. He thinks about all the times Moony has made him laugh, all the times Moony has challenged him, all the times Moony has trusted him. 

"I had an incredible blackberry snowball today. Reigning champion. What’s your favorite flavor, I don’t think I’ve asked yet."

"Your brother sounds like he means well, if not a tad excitable. Maybe try, oh I don’t know, NOT being a dick to him and see what happens! Now your sister in law, she sounds like my kind of people."

"Ok. Favorite is strawberry. Or orange. Damn it I don’t know. I genuinely thought I knew this about myself until SOMEONE made me try new things. Huff!"

“YOU HAVE TO GO TO A SAINTS GAME! They are amazing and you will love it. And afterwards if you tell me you didn’t love it then never speak to me again. You are a liar."

"Wedding Cake. No! Dream-cicle. Cherry? Fuck if I know. Maybe I can like them on a sliding scale?"

"Your parents sound amazing. Coming out is hard enough as it is, I’m so glad you had a positive, supportive experience with them at least."

"I absolutely love when you share childhood moments with me!"

"I wish I had some of your fire. You’re so fucking brave!"

"You are brilliant! I’m so proud of you!"

"You are the favorite part of my day."

Remus is the farthest thing from inconsequential that Sirius has ever felt.

And then he remembers the first time he saw Remus smile, the way his whole face lit up, the way it crinkled his eyes, the perfect imperfection of his teeth, the slight crookedness of his mouth. He thinks of the way Remus was sitting at that coffee shop table, excited and ready to meet him, cozy green sweater, curly auburn hair, broad strong shoulders, with a Saints tumbler and a mug of tea. He remembers Remus’ eyes, staring back at him, all passion and fire.

Sirius allows the affection, the attraction, the need to make it right, the mixture of emotions to wash over him and fill him up. His fingers find the keyboard on their own.

To: thruthemoonlight 

Dear Moony, I wish I could explain everything that happened that night. I’m so sorry, but I just can’t right now. I beg you, from the bottom of my heart, please forgive me. I feel terrible, Moony. I feel terrible that you found yourself in a situation that caused you so much pain. I am absolutely sure that whatever you said that night was provoked, even deserved. Everyone says things they regret when they're worried and stressed, and you were meant to meet a trusted friend and found yourself with an enemy instead. The fault is mine. I’m so very sorry.

Someday I genuinely hope to explain it all to you. But until then, if you want, I’m still here. And your words mean everything to me. Talk to me.

Remus, Lucy, Marlene, and Marlene’s girlfriend Dorcas are sitting outside at the Bull Dog, a local pub along Magazine Street. The courtyard is lit with white lights that have been strung around the fence and the trees overhead. The night is cool but no longer winter cold and the bar is full but not overly crowded. Remus feels like he hasn’t done anything except stress for days now and he’s happy to be sitting with his friends, even if he could use a change of subject. 

“So did he say anything about meeting again or anything?” asks Marlene.

“No,” Remus spins his almost-empty beer glass in his hands and sighs, “He just said that our words mean ‘everything’ to him and that he still wants to talk.” He shrugs his shoulders, staring into his glass, “And that’s it.” He chugs the rest of his beer.

“Okay. But what if-”

“Next round is on me. Who’s in?” Remus stands from the table. It’s abrupt and rude to interrupt Lucy like that, but he needs to walk, to physically move away from this topic and the well-intentioned questions of his friends. They all take his cue and nod in favor.

As Remus weaves through the crowd and makes his way inside to the bar his thoughts tumble around his brain trying unsuccessfully to land in a way that makes sense. He just can’t figure out why he feels dumped by a guy he wasn’t even dating. 

He fucking ruined everything. Meet. I was happy with Gideon! Well… I wasn’t unhappy with Gid. We could’ve worked on it or something. But no. Padfoot had to go and make me think about things. And want things. And dream about -

Remus is so lost in his thoughts the bartender has to call him three times to get his attention.

To: Padfoot312

For our entire life my sister has had long, beautiful hair. The shortest I’ve ever seen it, it still fell below her shoulders. So imagine me in total shock when she shows up to work this morning with a pixie cut. She says she felt ‘spontaneous’!!! Padfoot, I plan out my socks! And this girl chops all her hair off… on a whim!? How are we related!? I demand a DNA test and a giant revel on an awful day time talk show. She looks absolutely stunning of course, just radiating light and joy that one. I may or may not have screamed “Holy Shit!” in front of a customer when my sister walked in. Sorry not sorry. Do people say that anymore?

To: thruthemoonlight

Moony, there are approximately 48 flavors at my local snowball stand. I have tried exactly 22. I am making my way down the flavor list and ranking each one. I will submit a full report upon completion of my research. 

But Moony. I must ask you this question again: Why must we have a favorite!? I still stand by my statement. Life is too short to have only one favorite and keep ordering that one flavor over and over. Life is for adventure and trying new things and fucking up and learning from it and growing into a better human. Some days are chocolate with condensed milk days, some are strawberry days, some ice cream, some mint chocolate. The really good one are a dream-sicle, am I right? We are no longer on a quest to find the perfect snowball flavor. We are now on a quest to enjoy every snowball we eat. You taught me that last part.

To: Padfoot312

A child sneezed on me today, Padfoot. Just sneezed right in my face, zero fucks given. Didn’t even attempt to turn his stupid too small head. Some got in my mouth! I went straight to the pharmacy and bought the entire mouthwash and vitamin C isles. Ew, I’m still gagging just thinking about it. Absolutely not. I do not live this way.

I don't mind tiny humans. I think they’re quite brilliant most of the time and we typically coexist quite peacefully. What I DO mind is the fully grown humans raising the tiny humans who have never had a lesson in manners in their whole damn life! 

Rant complete. Thank you for your time.

To: thruthemoonlight

My father called me today. This is not unusual as you know. What was unusual was what he called me about. My 61 year old father… bought himself a motorcycle. A Mo-tor-cy-cle Moony. I almost fell out my damn chair! He called to say he bought a motorcycle and asked me about engine parts. Like this was a normal, everyday occurrence. Like it's something we talk about all the time!

Oh. I have a motorcycle that I rebuilt about 5 years ago. It’s my pride and joy. But I am not 61 years old! Shit… I just realized I am being age-ist. Because I’ll be damned if I won’t be some silver fox on a Harley when I’m 61 years old. Hashtag life goals Moony. And yes you’re right, I need to call my dad back and apologize. I’m glad we had this talk.

To: Padfoot312

I own a store. Have I told you that yet? That may be one of those pesky little personal details that we promised to keep out, but oh well. I own a store, and it's my pride and joy. At times it is all consuming. At times it keeps me up at night. I am worried about my store Padfoot. Tomorrow I have to cut one of my favorite people on the planet, because we just can’t afford her. I know my friendship with her goes beyond co-workers and I’ll see her again. But having to let her go…  the truth is, I’m terrified this means we’re on a path to closing completely and I’m just heartbroken about it. I know you said to fight to the death, I’m worried this may be the beginning of our slow death if we don’t change something soon.

“Sirius, hello? Are you even listening to me??”

“Huh? Sorry James, it’s just… I’m busy. Let’s talk at lunch, ok?”

“Well that’s bullshit. This place is a well-oiled machine!”

“I know. I’m the one with said oil can, working hard to keep it that way, so tell me what you want or get out.” Sirius turns back to his computer slyly closing Moony’s last email.

James reaches across the desk and shuts Sirius’ laptop. 

“Hey! James I told you-”

“Sirius, you look like shit.” 

“Well damn. Tell me how you really feel.” Sirius says sarcastically.

“Ok, I will. You’re my brother and I love you, but you look like—like you haven’t been eating enough or sleeping enough. You look way too stressed for it to be about just the store. You’re distracted all the time. You’re pushing me and Lily away. You haven’t been yourself since … well, since you saw Remus and I think we should talk about it.” With that James sits back down casually, like he’s waiting for his lunch or something. He’s staring at Sirius fully expecting to have this conversation. Right now.

“Ugh! James, look I appreciate you. I really do. I just… I’m just,” Sirius starts strong but fades out, quickly realizing he has no idea what he wants to say. “I’m fine, James. I just need to move on, ok?”

James sits up excitedly, slaps the armrests of his chair, “OH! I could set you up!”  

“Absolutely not. Not this again James. No blind dates! Stop trying to set me up.”

“Siriuuus, come on! You have to get back out there.”

“Not interested,” Sirius opens his computer. 

James reaches over and closes the laptop again. “I’m so gonna set you up. We’ll find someone for you Sirius. We will. You’ll see.”

“Find me someone? Just like that, huh? Just wave your magic wand and poof! Here’s an incredibly attractive person, who I’ll deeply connect with, who’s also caring and thoughtful and kind. No problem!”

“I’m just saying, we will keep looking! There’s somebody out there.”

“Yes, but I don’t want just somebody alright! I want someone who…who I can actually settle down with, ok? James, I love it here. I love it in New Orleans. I want to settle here and I want someone to settle down with. I’m not looking for another hook up. Not anymore.”

The heaviness of Sirius’ words hang in the air. They seem to have sobered James.

“I hear you, Sirius. I hear you.”

Sirius is quiet and James is patient. In all the emotions that Sirius has navigated through, there's still one that alludes him. Sirius bites at his bottom lip before looking back to James, “What did you feel, when you knew Lily was the one?”

“Oh. Well, she felt like … like I was home.”

Home.

The word resonates in Sirius’ ears. It melts down into his chest warming him up like hot chocolate on a winter day. It echos around in his mind scooping up all his scattered thoughts and settling them into one solid and sure desire.

“We won’t stop looking until you’ve found someone who feels like home. I promise.”

“Home,” Sirius whispers to himself. He feels like an electrical current has just jump-started his brain. Like he’s been asleep for weeks and just woke up. Like he’s been walking through a fog and the sun has just broken through, beautiful and blinding.

Sirius’ face morphs into thought as the wheels in his head begin to spin rapidly. He steeples his fingers and bites his lip in concentration.

“Oh! You’re doing the plotting face. Yes! I love the plotting face! What’s the scheme!? Out loud thoughts!”

Sirius pauses, “James, how are the numbers?”

James looks confused.

“How are the numbers for the store now? They’re better right? You'd be ok if I took a few days off here and there?”

“They’re fabulous. Take whatever you need. Of course.”

Sirius begins rocking back and forth in his office chair. 

“Yes! Plotting face and strategy rocking! Wait for it...” James begins bouncing on the balls of his feet.

Sirius pauses the rocking, then his eyes are narrow slightly, he bites his lip. 

This just might work.

He smiles at James. 

“Ladies, gentlemen, and non-binary humans, we have a plan!”

Remus is sitting behind the counter at the bookstore. His eyes flick to the clock every 7 seconds or so. There have been no customers in over three hours. He’s rearranged the shelves. He’s dusted. He’s filed his fucking paperwork for god sake. He has no work emails. He started to write Padfoot but the screen began to hurt his eyes too much. He drops his head into his hands. 

His head began to hurt about an hour ago, now it’s a full on migraine. He can barely keep his eyes open with the pain spiking so sharp at times it makes his eyes water. He desperately wants to call Marlene to come cover for him or just close up for the day and go home, but he can't afford to do either of those things. Lucy has a major final to study for. He doesn’t know what to do. He folds his arms on the counter and lays his head down. 

The bell on the door rings as it opens, and Remus’ head snaps up.

What. The. Fuck.

Chapter Text

Sirius has been pacing outside of Crescent City Books for a solid ten minutes. The box of tea he’s holding is half scrunched because he’s gripping it so tightly. He hasn’t felt this nervous in a very long time.

Typically he’s very sure of himself when he knows he’s right. And he knows he’s right about his connection with Remus. He is also humble enough to admit when he's fucked up. And he knows he fucked things up with Remus. Badly. He's a ball of conflicting emotions and all his earlier bravado and plans about pursuing Remus are doing him no good now. He can't make his feet move the last 50 steps to make it right.

Sirius pulls out his phone, thumb hovering over James’ name on instinct. But he drops it down one more name, to Red.

“Hey Handsome. What’s up?”

“Hey Lil. I need your help.”

“Are you ok? What’s wrong?”

“Yeah. I’m fine…but, well it’s a bit of a story, but I’m outside of Crescent City Books…”

23 minutes later…

“Wow. ...Okay. And you’re out front right now?”

“Yes. And I may have peeked into the window to make sure he was in there. And he is in there and he’s alone in there.”

“Well… go get your man Sirius! Why are you calling me?”

“Ugghh! Lily, I can’t just barge in there like ‘hey Moony, it’s actually me Padfoot! Tada!'” Sirius sighs, his voice goes quiet, “I can’t fuck this up again.”

“Sweetheart, you're just scared and I totally get it, but you listen to me, okay? You are a fucking incredible person with a heart as big as anyone I’ve ever met. You are kind, intelligent, hilarious, successful, and not to mention you have an ass that turns every eye in the room. Where’s all this self-doubt coming from, Babe?”

“Lil, he’s… he’s the incredible one. I’ve never connected with anyone like this. He’s so smart and so kind. He’s funny and snarky and...and then I find out he’s fucking gorgeous too! I don’t know, I just… “

Lily doesn’t push Sirius to speak and he is grateful. 

“Lily, I feel ...homesick without him.”

“Sirius,” Lily says his name with awe like she almost can’t believe what he just said. He can relate. 

“Yeah, it’s for real.”

“Well then, just be honest with him. Be your wonderful, kind, beautiful self. I know you're concerned about messing it up again and all that but... Home should be the place where you can be your complete self, mistakes and all, right? I promise you your heart will show you what you should do as soon as you walk through that door. Go get him.”

“Hey Lucy.”

“Hey. What’s wrong?? You sound sick.” Lucy says, voice tense.

“I’m really sorry to interrupt you, I know this final is a big deal.”

“It’s ok, I can stop for a second.”

“I have a migraine. I just threw up and it’s not backing down. I have my meds with me, but you know how badly they knock me out and I just need to lay down. Lucy, I’m so sorry.”

“Hey, no no. It’s ok. It’s just, this test has to be turned in today. I’m almost done, but I can’t stop in the middle. Will you be ok? I promise I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“Thank you. You know I wouldn’t even ask if it wasn’t-”

“Rem. I’m proud of you for asking for help and not being a complete idiot and trying to tough it out when I can help you, Okay?”

“Yeah. Ok. Thanks, Sister.”

“I got you, Brother. I’ll see you in a few.”

Remus lets his head drop back down onto his folded arms and closes his eyes. Everything is too bright, too loud, too much. His senses feel completely overloaded and it’s messing with his stomach. He just wants to go lay down and sleep so he doesn’t have to think anymore. Not to mention no one has even come into the shop in the past—he looks to the clock again— ugh almost three hours. He closes his eyes and tries to nod off. Just as he's zoning out the bell on the shop door rings loudly through the quiet shop. His head snaps up.

What. The. Fuck.

Standing in the store entryway is none other than Man-Bun McBullshit himself.

Remus stands up, “What the hell are you doing here?” 

“Uh… Hey, Remus. It’s good to see you again.” If Remus didn’t know better he’d say that Sirius looks almost nervous, but he definitely does know better.

“What do you want?”

“I wanted to see you again and, apologize.”

“Apologize,” Remus is quite skeptical.

“Yes, I—”

“You almost put me out of business!”

“I know, and—”

“And what!? You come to gloat!?” Remus throws his arms out, gesturing to the empty space, “Come to see the empty store and take a victory lap?”

“No! I would never—”

“Cause we’ll be fine, ok? Fine!! I have plans! The community, we, we have—” Remus sways on his feet, one hand shoots to his head, the other darts out to grab the counter. He sucks in a breath through gritted teeth and squeezes his eyes shut until the painful wave subsides.

When he looks back up, blinking and still a bit dizzy, Sirius is there with his arms stretched out like he wants to grab and steady Remus but doesn’t know if he should. 

“Are you alright!? Maybe you should sit back d—”

“Don’t tell me what to do!” Remus says with as much force as he can, even as he does exactly what Sirius told him to do, dropping back onto his stool and holding his head in his hands. Sirius looks so alarmed, but Remus doesn’t want anything to do with his pity.

“What’s wrong? What do you need?” 

“Nothing. I just,” Remus rubs his temples and squeezes his eyes shut, “I have a migraine.”

“I have Advil in my bag outside on my bike. Or I can go get you something else? What do you need?”

Remus is taken aback and unsettled and not by the migraine. The earnest concern and kindness pouring out from Sirius is throwing him all off. 

“No, um, thank you, but I have something stronger. I have meds that I take.”

“Did you take them? Where are they? I’ll get them.” Sirius is looking around the room. He looks like he might climb behind the counter if necessary. He turns around and starts looking down one of the rows of shelves.

“Well, I don’t keep them on a bookshelf! Do you sell narcotics on the bookshelves in your fancy pants discount book money machine!?” Remus slaps his hand over his mouth and his shoulders drop. “Shit. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to say things like that. No matter what you’ve done, there’s no excuse for me to say things like that.”

Sirius laughs nervously, “I’m almost impressed.” He tucks a stray piece of hair behind his ear and Remus hates how mesmerized he gets following Sirius’ graceful movement but he really can't think about that right now.

“Look Sirius, I’m sorry ok. I feel like shit. I need my meds. I can’t do this right now. Please, just go.”

“Will this help?” Sirius holds out the box of tea that he brought.

Remus takes it from him and does a double-take at the box, “This, this is my favorite tea. How could you possibly know I like this tea?”

“Oh. Well, you were drinking it the other night. At the cafe. I— I saw the tea string hanging from your Saints cup. I just thought you might…  Where are your meds? Remus, please. Let me help you.”

Remus sighs, “They’re in my bag on the sofa in the back. But I can’t take them. They basically knock me out cold. I have to wait for Lucy to run the store.”

“I’ll run the store.”

Remus almost falls out of his chair. “What do you mean, you’ll run my store?” 

“I mean, I’ll help you. Please. Let me help you. It’s the least I can do. You take your meds and lay down on the sofa in the back. Let me stay upfront and keep an eye on the store. Lucy can take over when she gets here.”

Fuck that actually sounds really good. Remus desperately wants to just knock himself out. And Lucy is coming...

“You would do that?”

Sirius just nods, looking hopeful, waiting.

“Look, I don’t even know how long she’ll be. No, no I’m sure you have much more important big shot book deals to manage than waste time in my little shop. I’m sure there are big boys in the book business right? And you—”

Sirius’ fingers shoot out to Remus’ lips, barely pressing but they’re there, stopping Remus mid-rant. They both freeze, eyes wide and staring at each other. Sirius looks like his hand forgot to consult his brain. Remus can relate as his brain is all white-noise at the moment. His lips are tingling every place Sirius is touching. He blinks but doesn’t pull away. He has never been this close to Sirius and he feels hypnotized by the blue-grey of his eyes.

Sirius clears his throat and pulls his hand down slowly, “Sorry, it’s just, I can see I bring out the worst in you, and I would hate for you to say anything else that you’ll just beat yourself up about.” He opens and closes his hand a few times as it hangs by his side.

“The back is… this way,” Remus points weakly towards the hallway.

Remus turns and Sirius follows him.

What the actual fuck was that? There’s a fucking electrical current in his goddamn fingertips!? I’ve had full-on intercourse and it never felt like that. What the hell is happening? 

Remus digs out his prescription from his bag and downs the pills with practiced ease. He sets the tea box down on his desk. “I’ll be right here. Wake me if you need anything. Wake me if you have any questions. Wake me if someone comes in! And wake me—”

“Remus. Lay down,” Sirius says gently as he moves Remus’ bag to the desk and then removes the soft-looking hoodie he's wearing rolling it up like a pillow, “Please?”

Remus moves cautiously, almost robotically. He’s so fucking confused right now, but god that sofa looks so inviting. He gives in, laying his head on Sirius’ in-fact incredibly soft hoodie and a waft of the most incredible smell fills his nose. His head is swimming.

When I wake up, I have so many questions.

Sirius takes Remus’ jacket from the back of the desk chair and drapes it over Remus’s torso. He’s gentle, spreading it out and tugging it up close to Remus’ chin. His index finger just barely grazes Remus’ lower jawline. 

So, so many questions.

“Just rest, ok? The store will be fine. I promise,” Sirius says genuinely.

Remus shifts around until he’s comfortable, “Sirius… thank you."

“You don’t have to thank me at all, Remus,” Sirius pauses, “I really am sorry, about everything. I swear, I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to hurt your store. It wasn’t personal, it was business.”

“Business,” Remus huffs a laugh, all breath and no joy, “What’s the point of all this ‘business’ if it isn’t personal? I mean, Sirius, whatever we spend so much of our frickin’ lives on, if nothing else, it should at least be personal.”

Sirius is quiet for a long moment. He looks lost in thought staring down at his hand in his lap. Remus realizes how badly he wants him to think out loud. He wants to hear Sirius’ mind. 

“You’re absolutely right, Remus,” Sirius says quietly, then gets up and walks to the doorway, where he pauses, “Get some rest.” He taps the door frame once, then turns and walks away.

The last thing Remus remembers thinking is that he wasn’t ready to stop talking and that he didn’t want Sirius to go.

“Remus… “

“Mmm.”

“Reee-mus?” 

Remus feels a hand gently shaking his shoulder. He blinks his eyes several times, as Lucy’s face comes into focus. He rubs his eyes and shifts a little, “Wha- Lucy?” The lighting is different. The office is much darker. Remus is so disoriented. 

“Hey, how you feeling? Sorry to wake you, but it’s time to close up.”

“What!?” Remus sits all the way up, his blood rushes to his head and his hands shoot out. He drops back down onto the hoodie and gets blasted with that divine scent again. Shit. “Where’s, where’s Sirius?”

“Yeah, about him. What the ACTUAL HELLO Remus! I walk in and see not my brother, who I’ve been incredibly worried about and rushing to get to. No, I walk in and see none other than Sirius Fucking Potter sitting behind the counter of our bookstore charming the pants off of some customer. And he made the fucking sale, Remus! And then! Then HE says, ‘Oh, hi’ —like we’re best friends! ‘Oh hi. He’s laying down in the back.’ And then! He had THE NERVE to shush me, Remus! He shushed me!”

“Shhh! Luce, I still have a headache.” 

Lucy throws her hands up.

“Do you need any help closing up?” Remus sits up and swings his feet around to the floor trying to fully wake up.

“No, it’s done. It’s time to go home. But tomorrow, there will be questions answered Remus John Lupin.”

“Ok. Ok. Tomorrow.”

To: Padfoot312

Hey. Listen, I’ve been thinking about this, and I think we should meet. I think we should try again. I have lots of updates about the store and my life. I’d love to catch up with you in person. I’m ready to try again. What do you think?

To: thruthemoonlight

We should meet. And we will meet. But, I’m in the middle of a project right now, and it’s demanding most of my time. Rest assured though, I definitely want to sit down with you face to face as soon as possible. 

Remus is sitting on his favorite picnic bench in Audubon Park. He’s soaking up all the sunshine, the people watching, the water, and the wonderful Spring breeze blowing all the Spanish moss around. This is his happy place, a spot he's only told Lucy and Padfoot about. This is his little nook in the park where he escapes to. He's daydreaming about what to write to Padfoot and almost finished with his Grape-Ape snowball when his spoon freezes halfway to his mouth and his jaw drops open on its own. 

Jogging down the path in tight little running shorts and a threadbare t-shirt is Remus’ gay dreams personified. His ponytail swings hypnotically back and forth as he shifts from one foot to the other. Time seems to slow down for Remus and his heartbeat is loud in his ears, synced up perfectly to the thud of Sirius’ feet as they hit the pavement. Remus’ attraction to him hits like a blindside tackle.

This man and those fucking thighs are responsible for global warming. Is he even real? What the hell!

Said thighs are all Remus can see—they abruptly stop running, stop altogether, and then start walking directly towards Remus. Remus’ eyes snap up to a more civilized location and find a smirking Sirius half-laughing, half-bashful, and completely focused back on Remus. Sirius waves and motions as if asking to join Remus.

Oh shit. Shit Shit Shit.

Remus doesn’t know what to do. He shuts his sketchbook and wipes his mouth with his napkin. He’s fidgeting with everything, pulling his shirt down, running a hand through his hair.

I do NOT like this person. I have absolutely no reason to be nervous. Why the fuck am I nervous!?

“Hello.” Remus does his best to sit in a casual I’m-totally-fine-and-not-flustered-this-is-totally-fine type of way.

“Hey! You look so much better. Always handsome, but back to healthy I see,” Sirius smiles and sits on the other side of the picnic table.

“Oh, Yeah, much better. Thank you, again, and hi yourself but you didn’t have to stop your run.”

“Oh, it’s fine. I appreciate the excuse to stop. I like this spot you've found here. Very peaceful. Oo, what flavor?” He half stands to try and look into Remus’ cup, then frowns and plops back down when he can’t. Sirius is painfully charming, distractible like a puppy seeing a squirrel.

“Oh,” Remus laughs and tips his cup so Sirius can see, “Grape.” Remus stabs his snowball a couple of times. "Grape-Ape to be precise."

Sirius makes an almost disgusted face, “That can’t be your favorite??” It’s fucking adorable and Remus doesn’t know how that makes him feel. 

“No, it’s not, um,” Remus smiles into his snowball as he thinks of Padfoot, “A friend and I are trying every flavor on the lists of our local stands. When it started we were trying to figure out our favorite, but now it’s just turned into an adventure.”

“A friend, huh? You smile like that thinking of all your friends?”

“No." Remus can feel the blush climb up his cheeks. He takes a bite of his snowball to buy himself some time. "It’s actually the guy who was supposed to meet me at the cafe, that other fateful night.”

“Oh! Mr. No-Show-to-my-Hot-Date?”

“He had his reasons!”

“I’m sure he did. And you believed Mr. Stand-My-Hot-Date-Up?”

Remus valiantly pretends that he didn’t catch the fact that Sirius just called him hot, twice. “I do believe him, thank you very much. He’s never given me a reason not to.”

“Uh-huh. So when did you guys finally meet up?”

“Well, um,” Remus is sure his face now resembles the bright red of a cherry snowball. He swallows and does his best to maintain his pride as he says, “We are going to meet very soon. He’s in the middle of a project right now.”

“A project? What does that even mean? Like the Science Fair?” Sirius tries to be indignant, but his face breaks into a smile.

“I don’t know!” Remus laughs. 

Why am I smiling at his nonsense? I don’t even like this person.

Remus shakes off his distraction and continues, “He said he had a ‘project’ taking up all his time, but that we would meet as soon as he’s done.”

“Hmm...Divorce. Sounds like a divorce to me.” Sirius nods like he’s solved the case.

“He is not married! That’s a terrible thing to say!” 

“A project? Taking up his time, and it’s almost over? Divorce.” 

“He’s not going through a divorce. What is wrong with you?” 

“Well, how do you know? Have you asked him?”

“No, of course I haven’t asked him. I’m not asking him anything like that. ‘Hey, by the way, are you cheating on your spouse?’ Seriously, what is actually wrong with you?”

Sirius puts his hands up in surrender, “Just seems suspicious to me is all." Then he puts his hand on the table between them and makes intentional eye contact, "He should be moving heaven and earth to have a date with someone as amazing as you.”

Remus is not here right now. Please leave a message.

Remus’ cheeks are on fire. “I bet you say that to all the boys.”

“Nah. I use my powers for good.”

I do not like this person. I definitely do not like that piece of hair falling into his eyes. Eyes. EYES.

Sirius stands up, “I’m gonna get back to it, but it was great bumping into you. Take care, Remus.”

“Oh.. okay. Bye, Sirius.”

Remus may or may not admit that he actually didn’t want Sirius to leave yet. He may or may not admit that he was having a good time with him. He may or may not have watched Sirius’ ass the whole time he walked away because fucking hell how can I not. And Sirius may or may not have strutted away like he knew exactly what he was doing.

To Padfoot 312

So random question that may be a bit late to ask and maybe a bit rude, forgive me - Have you ever been married? Maybe getting a divorce now? I hate to even ask but… curiosity is a killer and all that. 

To thruthemoonlight

Am I married!? How can you even ask that? Don’t you know me at all? Oh wait I know, your friends are saying we haven’t met because I’m married, and my “project” is a divorce. Am I right? Not to be mean but, your friends should be more creative. 

Remus was in shock when Sirius walked into the bookstore, again, helped Remus close up for the night, and then suggested they grab a bite to eat. The conversation flows so easily they talk nonstop all the way to their table. 

“So he didn’t answer the question!” Sirius says indignantly.

“Yes, he did! He totally—”

“Hello, my name is Lisette, I’ll be your waitress today. What can I get you, loves?”

“Sweet tea please and I’ll have the crawfish and shrimp plate with a side salad. Thank you.”

“I’ll have the jambalaya with fried fish, and a side of cornbread. Water’s fine, thank you.”

Remus watches the waitress move out of earshot, “My point is, he knew exactly why I was asking that. He completely understood me and that is just like him.”

“Fine, fine. But he did not answer the question if he’s married or not,” Sirius pauses, “Can I try some of your cornbread and what’s his url?”

“Yes of course. Oh. Well, I don’t know if..."

“I’m not gonna look him up, I swear! Cross my heart. I’m just looking for clues! Come on…” Sirius unleashes his pleading puppy dog eyes and Remus realizes he will need to develop a defense against this super power. Quickly too if he's ever going to be able to say no to Sirius. 

“Okay fine … it’s Padfoot312.”

“Pad. Foot. 3-1-2. Three hundred and twelve…Hm. He’s 312 years old? He’s 3 feet 12 inches tall...”

Remus laughs, “Stop it.” 

“The number of cats he has. Oh, the number of bumper stickers on his car.”

“The number of books he read last year,” Remus says proudly.

“The number of fedoras he has.”

“The number of things I absolutely adore about him.”

“Oh well, wouldn’t that be something.”

Remus is absolutely mind blown. Sirius B. Potter is blushing. Remus doesn’t quite know why, and the waitress comes back with their drinks before he can ask.

A few days later Remus and Sirius are strolling through the French Market, an open-air market in the heart of the French Quarter. They are immensely enjoying the phenomenal Spring Day, meandering and absorbing all the colorful art pieces and eclectic sights. 

The market is extremely crowded, packed with a rainbow of diverse people moving in every direction all along the narrow paths and in between vendor tables. Remus and Sirius often have to lean in close to hear one another or press close together to squeeze past other people. They are laughing and smiling at each other, pointing out random things they find interesting along the way, their fingertips brushing each other “accidentally” as they walk. Remus doesn’t hate it. 

They both put on their sunglasses as they exit the market shelter into the bright New Orleans’ sunshine. They meander along without any real direction until they come upon a snowball stand, make eye contact, and then wordlessly get in line. 

“What flavor do you pick when you go to a different stand?” Sirius asks with his eyes scrolling the large flavor board.

“Well, when I can’t decide I just close my eyes for a second and then pick the first flavor I see. But Padfoot says some days just feel like a certain flavor, you know?”

"For sure," Sirius suppresses a grin at his shoes, “So, what’s today feel like?”

Remus steps up to the window, “A large dream-sicle please.”

Remus manages to catch sight of a blush on Sirius’ cheeks out of the corner of his eye. He really wants to ask him what that's about.

“And a large rainbow for me.”

"Happy, huh?" asks Remus with a smile.

"Obnoxiously so. And it's all your fault." Sirius answers as he pays. Remus pushes him playfully.

Snowballs in hand they come to the Riverwalk, an urban park and pathway along the Mississippi River.

“I still can’t believe I ever told you,” Remus laughs.

“Mr. Three-Hundred-and-Twelve pairs of shoes? Three hundred and twelve 80’s songs that he knows every word to!”

“Maybe it’s not three hundred. Maybe it’s three one two. 3-1-2. 3-1-2 ...could be his address? 3-1-2… Isn’t that the Chicago area code?”

Sirius halts and almost drops his snowball.

Remus turns around, confused why Sirius isn’t walking, “What?”

“Nothing. Nothing, let’s keep going.”

They come to an empty bench close to the water and sit to enjoy the rest of their snowballs.

“How was your dream-sicle?” Sirius asks.

“It was pretty good. How was your rainbow?”

“Not bad. Not bad. What’s next on your try list, do you know?

“Something called ‘orchard cream vanilla’ whatever that is.”

“Woah, sounds fancy. You’ll have to let me know how it is,” smiles Sirius.

“I will,” smiles Remus.

“Well dang. I keep bumping into you, huh?”

“Yeah you do, huh?”

“Would you… want to bump into me, say Saturday?”

“Yeah, I think I would.”

“There’s a brunch spot in the Bywater that I’ve been dying to try.”

“Sounds great.”

“10 o’clock?”

“10 o’clock.”

“You’re so agreeable, Mr. Remus Lupin.”

“Well, it’s easy when I’m happy Mr. Sirius B. Pot- Hey, what does the B in your name stand for anyway? Every official Potter Bros thing I see says James Potter and Sirius B. Potter.”

“Oh. …it’s for Black. Sirius Black is my birth name. The Potters adopted me when I was 3. I kept the B,” Sirius shrugs, “It seemed like the right thing to do. I don’t remember much of my bio mom. My parents just said it was rough, that she could barely take care of herself, but, she’s where I came from, so… yeah. Sirius Black Potter. Seeing the B reminds me to stay humble, to remember that people can be struggling and you’d never know it. But also that there are amazing people out there like the Potters who are overflowing with love and generosity. It’s a subtle way to always remember the kind of person I want to be. And to celebrate family and hope.”

Remus feels massively unprepared as he’s hit with this wave of new information. Massively unprepared for the warmth he feels in his chest and the pull in his stomach. Massively unprepared for his thoughts to consolidate completely on their own into one singular thing shouting at him.

I have never wanted to kiss someone this badly. 

Remus has to sit on his hand so he doesn’t reach out and cup Sirius’ jaw to slam their lips together. He clears his throat, “Wow, um. Thank you for sharing that with me. I guess I didn’t realize what I was actually asking.”

“I don’t mind. Ask away. I’m an open book. To you, I mean.”

"Sirius, I'm really sorry for what I said at the cafe...about you not having a heart. I was mad and you-"

Sirius reaches out tentatively, then grabs one of the curls hanging in Remus’ eyes. He pulls it down then let’s go, watching it bounce back up. He smiles softly at Remus and Remus swallows hard.

"It was forgotten a long time ago, but thank you for saying that. You have one of the kindest hearts I've ever known Remus."

Not helping me not kiss you. “This was… this was a wonderful day Sirius Black Potter.”

“Well, I’m so glad to hear that, Remus… ah?”

Remus chuckles, “John.”

“Well, I’m so glad to hear that, Remus John Lupin.”

"Saturday?"

"Saturday."

Remus smiles his whole way home. He can’t be bothered to try and stop.

Chapter Text

To: thruthemoonlight

Carnival Time in New Orleans is a thing to behold. I can’t even find words to begin and explain it all. You can’t describe it, you have to experience it. Last night was my third parade and it was absolutely INCREDIBLE. Colors, lights, people, beads, cups, drums, doubloons, bands, flags, dancing, I didn’t know where to look! Each float got bigger and more spectacular. It was… Moony, I don’t even have words. Incredible. It was absolutely incredible . Just when I think I love this town as much as possible, it turns around and gives me something new. I’m in awe.

To: Padfoot312

I knew you would love it! Do you see what I mean now? Do you see why I was having such a hard time trying to explain it to you before? I told you! But I’m so, so glad you loved it. One of my favorite parts of the whole thing is just hanging out with everyone on the parade route. It’s like a giant party in every direction up and down the blocks. 

Actually there’s a parade that passes in front of my store every year. We throw a big block party and all the regulars come. I invited some new friends this year and it’s their first Mardi Gras too, so we’ll see how that goes. I look forward to it every single year. I’m so excited.

Happy Mardi Gras Padfoot!

Crescent City Books looks like Pride and Mardi Gras collided and their decorations have exploded all over the store. There’s every flag in the LGBTQ+ fleet hanging from the porch, the windows, even the rooftop. They’ve strung beads along the wrought iron railing of the porch. There’s purple, green, and gold streamers. The trees are full of beads. There’s music blasting from Remus’ stereo. People and chairs and ice chests are all over the front lawn of the shop, spilling into the street. It's the best kind of chaos. Everyone is enjoying the sunshine and basking in New Orleans at its finest. 

Remus is standing with his koozie covered beer talking to Marlene and Dorcas when he feels a tap on his shoulder.

“Lily! I’m so glad you could come!” He gives her a gentle hug, careful around her precious and prominent baby bump.

“Me too. Hi, I’m Lily,” she holds out her hand to Marlene and then Dorcas as Remus introduces them.

“Would you like to sit or get a drink or what would you like?” he asks.

“Oh just a chair and a water would be lovely. James and Sirius were kind enough to drop off the pregnant lady so I didn’t have to walk, but they have all the chairs.”

Remus feels a flutter in his chest. He’s parking. He’s here. He’s coming.

“No problem at all!" says Marlene. "Please take my chair, I’ve been sitting too long. I’ll be happy to grab you a water bottle too. I need to stretch my legs.”

“Actually, could you show me the restroom?” Lily asks.

"Of course! Follow us," Dorcas says.

Remus smiles as he watches them walk to the shop door. Something about these two circles of friends colliding feels very, very right to him.

“Weemus!!”

He’s isn’t sure what he’s heard at first, he looks around, up and down the block, but it’s just a sea of faces. 

Must be hearing th-

“Weemus!! Weemus! It’s me Harry James Potter!”

Remus turns around and sure enough, walking up the street is James who’s dragging a wagon filled with chairs and bags, followed by Sirius with Harry on his shoulders. Harry’s little arms are waving back and forth over his head. His squirming almost knocks Sirius’ hat off, but he grabs it with one hand, shakes his hair back, and pulls it back down. 

Oh sweet jesus. This is illegally adorable. Where do I report this?

Sirius puts Harry down and Harry runs right up to him. 

“Hi Weemus! This is my new shirt and I got a big boy bed and this is my bandaid with Spiderman!”

“Hiya kid. Glad you’re back. Very cool bandaid choice.” They fist bump.

“Also Daddy says we’re not buying books today because you’re throwing beads at me.”

Remus can’t help but chuckle, “Almost, little man. The people on the parade floats will be throwing the beads. I’ll catch them with you though.”

“Yesss! Where is the float Weemus? When is it going to come here? I have to catch something for my baby.”

"Soon, my man. Soon."

“Hello Remus,” James says cheerfully as they shake hands. 

“James, glad y'all could come,” says Remus.

“Hiya,” says Sirius with his hands in his pockets. His smile is almost shy but his eye contact is intentional and unbroken. Remus’s inside stir. 

“Hiya back,” says Remus, “Would you guys like a drink or snacks or anything? Please make yourself at home.” 

“Thanks,“ James says as he begins unpacking the wagon. He swings open a lawn chair. “Remus the store looks incredible.”

“Oh thanks! We love this day. It's great being able to open the store as a safe space along the route. Gender neutral bathrooms and a place to rest goes a long way. Plus we put out a donation jar and people are almost always super generous so it's a good thing all around.”

“Remus,” Sirius says as he takes in the decorations and the people milling in and out of the shop, completely at ease. There are two guys cuddling on the store steps, two women walking in holding hands, random pockets of friends standing and sitting and laughing and talking. “Remus this is really something special.”

“Yeah. I- I love this day. I have some ideas about expanding the open house feel of this, like creating a real space, but…you know,” Remus trails off and just shrugs.

“But what? That’s an amazing idea. I mean it,” Sirius says admittedly. “What’s stopping you?”

“Ah… funding. Right now at least,” Remus feels sheepish. He hates bringing that up. 

“Funding? Remus, I really want to hear your ideas. I’ve been thinking of something very similar and-“

“Hey look! Rus!Rus!Rus! UP PLEASE!!” Harry is pulling on Sirius and pointing down the street. “It’s here!!”

Sirius sighs, but smiles as he picks Harry up, swinging him to his hip, “You see it, Bud? Oh yeah, I can just see the police lights. It's getting close.”

“Weemus, when they throw at me, you gotta catch ‘em and then we put them in Mommy’s bag, ok?” 

“Solid plan.”

Sirius chuckles, “Harrington, this is Remus’ what, 100th Mardi Gras. We’re following his lead, ok?”

Harry’s eyes go wide, “Really?” He asks Remus.

Remus chuckles, “Well, not 100th exactly, but yeah. I’ve done this a few times. And don’t worry, I’ll be right here to help you catch anything they throw, ok?” Remus holds up his hand and Harry gives him a high five. 

Remus watches Sirius out of the corner of his eye. Sirius is smiling at him with his whole face. His smile is brighter than the sun right now. Remus doesn’t know what to do with this, but he definitely doesn’t hate it.

Remus leans in to Harry, looking around like he’s being sneaky, “Want a pro tip, Harry?”

Harry and Sirius’ eyes go wide and he and Sirius nod their heads in unison at Remus. It makes Remus smile.

“Get your dad or Uncle Rus to put you up on their shoulders when the big floats come. Then we can walk up a bit closer and maybe they’ll hand you something special, like a stuffed animal or a ball.”

“RUS! RUS! Can we do that!? Can we? You have giant shoulders and we could do that!”

“Ok ok, stop shouting in my ear,” Sirius laughs and tickles Harry’s ribs a little, “Yes, of course, we can do that, but the parade isn’t even here yet so find your chill.”

“Oh Harry, we have snacks and punch, um I mean magic potion, inside the shop. Want to go ask your mom if you can have some?”

Harry turns back to Sirius and shouts to the sky, “Bottom floor please!” 

“Yes Sir, going down!” Shouts Sirius. He makes the noises of a robot and playfully lowers Harry down.

Can you stop with the adorable for two seconds!? Let a man live! 

The moment Sirius sets Harry’s feet on the ground Harry grabs Remus’ hand and pulls him again.

“Not this again! Sirius help me!”

“Sorry! I can’t hear you over the sound of my laughter!”

As Remus trails Harry he holds his other hand behind his back, flicking Sirius off. Sirius dissolves into more laughter, watching them until they’re inside.

James slides in and bumps Sirius’ shoulder, standing obnoxiously close. “Excuse me, Mr. Black-Potter?”

“Ah, Mr. Potter. Good day, sir.”

“Good day, sir. A moment of your time, if I could?”

“Why yes, of course sir. What can I do for you on this fine day?”

“Just one quick question for you… WHAT WAS THAT!?” James points towards the shop door where Harry just pulled Remus through.

“What? That? That’s a bookstore. We own a few ourselves, didn’t I mention?”

“Shut up. You know exactly what I mean!”

“What!?” Sirius laughs, “We were just talking!”

“What do you mean what? YOU and the BOY and the FLIRTING and the heart-eyes you could see from space! What is happening?? Have you told him? Am I planning a wedding or what!?”

“Shut up James.” Sirius looks around like Remus is going to jump out of a bush or drop out of the sky. “Keep your voice down,” Sirius huffs, “No, I haven’t told him yet.”

“Sirius, you have to tell him.”

“I will! I will. It’s just, things are going kinda well right now.”

“Sirius!”

“I know! I know! It’s just ugh, James, I feel like I just got back on his good side. And it’s such a good side!!” Sirius whines.

“You mean back side?”

“YES!” Sirius fakes weeping.

“All right, calm down. Don’t have a moment right here.”

“HE’S SO PRETTY JAMIE!” Sirius “weeps” on James’ shoulder.

”Oh Lily, thank god you’re here. He’s having a moment.”

“James! Did you break him? What did you do?” Lily says as she steps up beside him.

“Oh, it wasn’t me this time, Babe," he kisses her cheek, "It was our dear Remus and his superior posterior.”

“Sirius B. Potter! Are you ogling our new friend!?”

Sirius doesn’t answer, he just picks his head up and looks towards the bookshop longingly with a dramatic sigh.

James chuckles, “Lily, my stunning wife, I love you more than oxygen and I’m as straight as they come, even I can see Remus is a fine-looking man.”

“So Fine.” Sirius whispers as he stares at the bookshop door.

Lily smiles and rubs Sirius’ arm, “Sirius and Remus, sitting in a tree?”

“Fuck I hope so Lil. I’m trying. He’s as brilliant as he is beautiful too. And funny, my god he’s hilarious.”

"We like him a lot too. He's good people," says James.

Lily looks at Sirius and then at the bookshop then back to him, “Sirius, my wonderful, intelligent, CEO brother-in-law, don’t you love all the flags Remus has put up?”

Sirius nods with a confused expression.

“Isn’t this a lovely bookstore?” she asks.

“Of course Lily. What-”

“Wouldn’t it be wonderful if someone invested in this shop? Promoted it? Say, brought their queer authors and illustrator connections around?”

“You really are clever, you that Red?” Sirius receives a smile. 

Lily kisses James quickly, “I’m going to go check on Harry. James, get your brother a drink and remind him to be himself.”

"Sirius, brilliant-brother-mine. It's time. Never doubt Lily."

"It's time," Sirius whispers, swallowing hard and eyes focused on the bookstore.

The parade is wonderful. The day is wonderful. It's everything Sirius hoped for and more. They dance as the bands march by and wave to all the floats. Harry stays perched on James’ or Sirius’ shoulders for pretty much the whole event and gets bombarded with beads and stuffed animals and cups. It’s dark by mid-parade and the elaborate, beautifully decorated floats light up and transform into a light show of exploding neon colors rolling by. By the last float, Harry is asleep on James’ shoulder and people have begun packing their things, grabbing one last drink, and saying their goodbyes. 

Remus has been randomly pulled away at times to see to all his guests and Sirius watched him more than the parade. And yes, Remus is gorgeous on the outside and breathtakingly beautiful on the inside, but what stood out to Sirius today was something else. He was floored by the amount of people walking up to shake Remus’ hand, to hug him, to pat him on the back. All day he watched Remus blush and shrug it off as people poured out their gratitude or gave him compliments. Remus may not see it, but it's as plain as day to Sirius - everyone absolutely loves and respects Remus Lupin. 

His dream is to create a community, but he’s already doing it. He just doesn’t see it yet.

Across the yard Sirius watches Remus laughing and saying goodbye to a small group of people before they walk away leaving Remus finally alone on the porch. Sirius bites his lip, before deciding to walk over. 

It's time. Here goes nothing...

“Hey.”

“Hey yourself. Did you guys have fun?” Remus looks exhausted but in the best possible way, like he's spent his entire day having the most amazing time. 

“Oh yeah. Incredible day. Incredible. Just when I think I can’t love this town anymore, it shows me something new.”

Remus’ eyebrows draw together, “What did you say?”

“Ah— I just mean, we have nothing like this where I’m from. New Orleans is amazing.”

“Right,” Remus looks like he shakes off a thought, “It’s pretty unique isn’t it.”

“Unique is an understatement! I'll never understand how a group of people decided, ‘Hmm, let’s shut down most of the town for a parade and we can yell at strangers to throw beads at our heads.’”

Remus laughs, “Alright. When you put it like that, yeah. It’s a bit nuts.”

“All the best bits are,” Sirius smiles. Remus smiles back.

“So, um, Remus I was hoping that you and I could sit down. I actually have a business proposal that I’d like to run by you.”

The smile drops from Remus’ face.

“It's good Remus! I swear. It’s an idea that I really think could be a win-win.”

“What’s the idea?” Remus says cautiously.

“Well, I know there would be a lot to talk about but basically, I, well Potter Brothers, we would like to invest in Crescent City Books. We'd like to partner with you to create a queer safe space and celebrate all things LGBTQ and our community and all the amazing things that you’ve been talking about. A wise man once told me that if I'm going to be spending my life on anything, it should begin with being personal so, here I am. What do you think?”

“...”

“Remus?”

“... Ah… that’s. ...You. Invest!?”

“Yes,” Sirius smiles, “I’d like us to be partners.”

“Partners,” Remus whispers.

“Well, you, me, and Lucy.”

“Lucy…”

“So, can we all meet? Maybe sometime next week? We can talk numbers and details and that, just brain storm general ideas. I’d love if Lily could do a photoshoot sometime, you know, promote the shop. James and I have some connections in the author scene we could contact. Maybe we could get some educators and speakers for seminars? There’s all sorts of stuff and …and why are you looking at me like that?”

Remus’ face looks like he’s in shock. His eyes are wide, one eyebrow raised in question, jaw slack and open. He’s frozen.

Shit I broke him.

“That’s my… Sirius, are you in my head? You’re talking about my literal dreams right now.”

Sirius raises a hand and rubs the back of his neck, “Yeah well, I think we make a good team.”

“Oh,” Remus blushes, “Yeah, I think we do too.”

“I need to go get the car for James, but, I had a great day Remus. Really. Thank you for all this.”

“Anytime.”

“I’ll call you, yeah?”

“Yeah...yes! Bye!”

To: Padfoot312

Holy. Shit. It’s happening. Padfoot! It’s HAPPENING. This is not a drill. This is not a dream. This is real. We have an investor!! InvestorS I should say. We’re going to have a “numbers and details meeting” and a promotional photo shoot! I’m freaking the fuck out. My mom would never believe this! She'd be losing her shit too and probably stress baking her entire pantry. Goddamn I miss her brownies. Anyway, I swear it’s like someone read that email I sent you a few months ago where I spelled out my dreams for the bookstore because… 

I’m speechless. I’m in shock. My sister and I haven’t stopped smiling for days. I still can’t believe it. 

Also, I wanted to check in with you about the project you were working on. How’s it coming? Not to rush you! It’s just I’m super excited and would love to talk about all this face to face. What do you think?

To: thruthemoonlight

Moony! That’s amazing! I’m so happy for you. You absolutely deserve it. You’re brilliant and your passion for your store is incredible. The New Orleans community will benefit so much from this. I’m so fucking proud of you (and your sister) for never giving up on your dreams. I can’t wait until things develop more.

My project is so close to complete. I would absolutely love to meet you. How about we meet at the Mardi Gras Fountain along the lakefront? There’s a bench close to the water. Saturday? 4?

S: Hey! You off Saturday? Want to have lunch?

R: Hey yourself.

R: Yes, I’m off. Lunch sounds great. 12?

S: 12 is perfect. It’s your turn to pick tho.

R: Dammit. You know I’m terrible at that!

S: So much food. So little time.

R: Such good problems

S: Absofuckinlutely

S: But don’t change the subject!

S: It’s still your pick

R: *huff

R: Fine.

R: I’ll pick Saturday at 11:55

S: It’s a good thing you’re cute.

R: Are you flirting with me Sirius B Potter?

S: Depends.

S: Is it working?

R: Possibly.

R: Breaux’s. It’s a po-boy spot by my house. Wear your stretch-y pants bc this place is AMAZING.

S: You're setting my expectations pretty high

R: Trust me

S: Absofuckinlutely

R: See you there Man-Bun McHotstuff

S: WHAT??

R: ;)

R: never mind.

Chapter Text

“Oh my god I have never been so full in my life!” Sirius throws his balled up napkin down on the table in front of him, leans back in his chair, and rubs his stomach. “Holy shit that was amazing.”

Remus laughs as best he can with a mouth full of food, “pold du.”

Sirius laughs now too, “What was that? Sorry I don’t speak po-boy.”

Remus rolls his eyes and throws his balled up napkin at Sirius’ face. It taps him on the nose before falling to the table. Sirius doesn’t even move, just raises an eyebrow in challenge.

Remus over exaggerates his swallow. “I said I told you. I could eat here every day of my life.”

“This is just like the snowball battle. What’s your favorite restaurant? Which restaurant to pick!”

“Ugh, I’m too full to even talk about food right now.”

“So you’re telling me that you, Remus J. Lupin, don’t want to take a walk and get a snowball?”

“Ok, don’t get crazy! Just, give me like… 4 minutes.”

Sirius laughs, “Mmhmm. There he is.”

Remus sticks out his tongue.

Remus feels the breeze blow through his hair and watches as it rustles things around in the courtyard area where they are sitting. He looks up at the vibrant blue sky, the white puffy clouds, around to the colorful sidewalk flowers, the lush greens of the tree branches blowing around, the flock of birds flying overhead. He sighs with contentment. When he looks back Sirius is just watching him. His face is calm and open, with the smallest, softest smile. It makes Remus’ chest ache.

“What?” Remus says softly. 

Sirius looks down to his hands folded in his lap, “Just thinking.”

“About what?”

“Um...this afternoon. ...Harry wanted to go to the zoo, but I told him I have to finish a project.”

Remus’ eyebrows draw together but he doesn’t respond.

“It’s fine. Maybe I’ll take him tomorrow. It’s supposed to be wonderful weather like today.”

“Sorry, a project?”

Sirius raises a hand and rubs the back of his neck. “Yeah, I'll tell you about it later. You ready to walk?” Sirius rises without waiting for Remus’ answer.

“Um, yeah, I guess.” Remus says. He doesn’t want to press Sirius, but that was definitely confusing.

Thirty seven minutes later they are strolling down Magazine Street, devouring snowballs in companionable silence. They mosey, just taking in the sights and sounds and people and shops. 

“So, what are your plans this afternoon?” asks Sirius. Remus coughs a bit. Sirius pats him gently on the back, “You ok there?” 

“Yep, fine,” he wheezes out and coughs once more, “Swallowed wrong I guess.” He clears his throat, “Um, actually… this afternoon I’m finally meeting Padfoot.”

“No shit! Today!?”

Remus blushes, “Yeah.”

“Woooow.”

“Yeah.”

“How you feeling about that?”

“PSHH I don’t know… all the things? Happy, nervous, excited, concerned—”

“Concerned? I mean, I’m assuming you’re meeting in public and all that responsible stuff.”

“Oh yeah, of course. Along Lakefront Park. No, it’s just ...he means a lot to me, you know?”

“Yeah, I can tell. So what are you worried about then?”

“Well what if… what if he takes one look at me and, I don’t know. Turns around.”

Sirius halts. “Are you fucking with me!? Absolutely impossible. Full stop.”

“No, I’m serious.”

“No, I’m Siri-”

This time Remus is the one to shoot his hand out and cover Sirius’ lips with his fingertips. It starts as a joke, but the laughter quickly falls from their faces. Their breaths are a bit quicker than normal from laughter and proximity. They stand very still for a moment, neither one wanting to move or knowing what to do next. 

Remus pulls his hand down slowly and breaks the eye contact, “That’s um, that’s just such a terrible joke. I couldn’t let you finish.”

“No," Sirius clears his throat, "No, you should never let me do that.”

They turn and begin walking again. Sirius can feel his heart beating hard in his chest. He’s hesitating to say anything at all because he’s so sure the words are just going to burst out of his mouth and shout without asking permission.

IT’S ME I’M PADFOOT IT’S ME KISS MEEEE

Breathe and walk Sirius. Breathe and walk. Stick to the plan.

“Hey Remus, I have a question for you.”

“Oh yeah? Ok, fire away.”

“Well, I know Padfoot means a lot to you. It’s enormous to meet someone you really connect with.” Sirius stops walking, so Remus does too. They turn to face each other. “I guess I was wondering if there was anyone else you feel like you...connect with?”

“Oh… Sirius, I…”

“Because Remus, we connect.”

Remus sighs, “We do. We do, Sirius. You’re right, and I feel it too. It’s just…” Remus runs a hand through his hair.

“Padfoot.”

“Yes. I have to know. I have to meet him. It’s been so long, I have to let myself see this all the way through.”

Sirius swallows hard and nods, “Yeah, that makes sense.”

“I’m sorry Sirius. I don’t want to hurt you, at all. But I can’t lead you on either.”

“No, no. No apologies necessary. I completely understand.”

Remus lifts his hand. He’s tentative, but he brings his hand to Sirius’ jaw and cups it lightly looking him dead in the eyes, “You are absolutely wonderful Sirius B. Potter. It’s not you, I swear. It’s just bad timing right now.”

Sirius can’t breathe until Remus pulls his hand away. 

Sirius looks down and shuffles his feet a bit, collecting himself. He looks back up, “If only we’d met randomly, you know? Not big bookstore and local bookstore —just me and you. Remus, imagine if we had met and started talking… I’d have asked you about New Orleans and you would tell me about the city you love. We would have gotten snowballs and walked along the River and gone to Mardi Gras. We’d fight over which restaurant to go to.”

“We never fight about that,” Remus says with a fond smile, “It’s your pick next time.”

“Let Padfoot pick. You should go with him.”

Remus’ smile melts off his face, “Sirius…”

“If only we had better timing, eh?  … Hey, speaking of timing, I better let you go! You have a big date pretty soon, huh?”

Remus looks lost in his thoughts, then quietly says, “Sirius, I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t need to say anything, Remus. No worries, I promise. Thank you for being honest with me.” Sirius rubs Remus’ upper arm gently, “I had a great time today.”

Sirius turns and begins walking a few steps in the opposite direction, but he stops and turns around, “Just, one more thing, Remus.”

“Yes,” Remus internally flinches from how eager his voice sounds.

“Please just, just remember that all I want is for you to be happy, alright? You really are worth moving heaven and earth for.”

Remus’ words are caught in his chest. He’s too emotional to speak and his thoughts are racing. He reaches forward and grabs a small section of the stomach part of Sirius’ t-shirt, hesitates a moment, then pulls him in and wraps his arms around him in a hug. He can hear Sirius’ breath hitch, but Sirius holds him and hugs him back.

“You are absolutely wonderful, Sirius.” 

“I’ll see you soon,” Sirius says quickly and then turns and walks away leaving Remus standing alone holding an empty snowball cup.

Remus turns and starts his walk home while Sirius’ words play in his head over and over.

"Because Remus, we connect."

Remus’ arms still tingle from the feeling of having them around Sirius. It felt like the opening notes of his favorite song and he really wants to hear the rest. 

His phone lets out a few notes notifying a new email.

To: thruthemoolight

I’m really looking forward to seeing you. Can’t wait until 4:00. There’s a bench right by the Mardi Gras Fountain along the Lakefront. I’ll meet you there.

Xo, Padfoot

To: Padfoot312

I can't wait either! See you so soon!!

xo, moony

As Remus walks he forces himself to put Sirius out of his mind. He’s finally getting to meet Padfoot, face to face. After months and months of this slow burn and intimacy building, they will finally be taking the next step. He’ll have a face and a name. They will be able to spend some quality time together and figure out what, if anything, is going on between them. A wave of anticipation rushes through Remus and he picks up his pace.

3:58

Remus checks his phone again. He’s been at the bench by the fountain for at least fifteen minutes now. He’s been pacing or bouncing on the balls of his feet. He’s tried to sit, but his body just won’t stay still. His adrenaline is pumping through him and he’s so nervous he’s forgetting to breathe.

He stands and paces again, shakes his hands out, wipes them on his shirt. “Shit,” He quickly smooths down the wrinkles of his collared t-shirt that he changed into after he left Sirius. He runs a hand over his curls —again —trying to get them to behave.

What was I thinking!? What am I doing!?

His phone pings in his pocket and it scares him so badly he physically jumps.

4pm Meet Padfoot. Don’t Freak Out.

Fucking hell. Don't freak out. Ha. Ha. Too fucking late for that!

4:01

Oh my gay hell. He’s not going to come. He’s going to stand me up again and then Sirius will never let me live it down. 

No. Not thinking about Sirius right now.

Padfoot. Padfoot.

He turns his back to the bench and walks over to lean on the railing around the fountain, staring hard into the moving water. Unbidden Sirius' face pops into his head. He see Sirius laughing. He sees Sirius tickling Harry. He sees Sirius' beautiful, earnest, passionate eyes asking for Remus to give him a chance. And then Padfoot's words flood back to him. All the times Padfoot has been there for him, listened to him, challenged him, trusted him. He so badly wants to see Padfoot and spend time with this person who has changed him in the best ways.

What am I doing... 

Remus is sure his heart is beating loud enough for the whole city to hear it. 

“Hiya Moony.”

Remus’ entire world freezes. He can’t feel his feet. He has no thoughts. He is absolutely gobsmacked and slacked jawed. He stands up straight and turns around in slow motion. Standing right behind the bench is “Padfoot,” Remus whispers.

Sirius is standing with his hands in his pockets looking a little sheepish. He gives Remus an unsure smile and a tiny shrug.

“Padfoot!? But you… how… you…” Remus doesn’t even realize that he’s crying until Sirius’ face is distorted by his tears, “PADFOOT??” 

Sirius rushes around the bench and takes Remus’ face into his hands wiping away the tears running down his cheeks. Remus reaches up and anchors himself on Sirius’ forearms.

“Hi Moony. It’s really fucking nice to meet you,” Sirius says with a wet laugh as his own tears begin to fall. 

Remus laughs with shaky breath and reaches up to wipe the tears from Sirius’ face, “I wanted it to be you. I wanted it to be you so badly.”

Sirius moves his hands down to Remus’ neck and he takes a big breath, “Remus, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I didn't say anything sooner. I just... It's just..." He takes another deep breath to collect himself. "Remus, when I first moved here I didn’t know what I’d find. I missed home so much I almost gave up. But when I started talking to you… Remus you helped me fall in love with New Orleans. With snowballs and the zoo and the parks and the food. You helped me make a home here. And then we started actually hanging out. And I wanted to tell you so badly, so many times, but I just, I was selfish and I was scared. I didn’t want to give this up. I didn't want to give you up, because Remus.... Moony, you feel like home to me now.”

Remus lets out a sob before he can stop it, “You idiot. H-how can I kiss you if I’m c-crying!?” He wipes at his own nose and face.

Sirius presses his forehead against Remus’ and laughs through his own tears, “I’m sorry! This was as far as I planned out!”

Remus pulls back, “You didn’t plan on kissing me!?” 

Sirius swallows, reaches and tucks a stray curl behind Remus’ ear, “I couldn’t bear to think about you saying no.” 

Remus grabs two fistfuls of Sirius’ t-shirt and gently pulls him even closer. They stare fondly into each others eyes, mesmerized and smiling.

“Stop smiling and kiss me,” Remus whispers.

“You kiss me,” Sirius says back.

Still smiling, Remus bites his lip and gives a tiny shake of his head.

“Moony.”

“Padfoot.”

“Moo-”

Remus pulls Sirius in and kisses him with everything he has. His heart bursts open and his walls crumble down. He sets free all the parts of himself he was holding back afraid to fully feel. He lets loose all his longing and pining and affection.

Sirius responds in kind, Remus can feel it in his soul. Sirius wraps his strong arms snugly around Remus’ back holding him close. Remus tilts his head again, opens his mouth again, deepens the kiss even more. 

They sink. They fly.

Remus has kissed several boys over the course his life. He’s kissed a few girls too. But nothing prepared him for the force of nature that is kissing someone you’re in love with. All the sensations crash over him like a tsunami. Everything in his body is singing. Everything just fits. And all of him is screaming YES! THIS! This is what I have been searching for. This is what I’ve been craving, what I’ve been missing, what I’ve been looking so hard for. THIS is where I want to stay. This is where I belong. This is home.

When they reluctantly pull apart, they are nothing but awestruck smiles.

“So…  you want to get a snowball?”

Chapter Text

A Year-ish and about a 1000 snowballs later…

Crescent City Books is overflowing with people. They’ve been slammed all day with a steady river of people flowing from the porch through the aisles to the counter to the courtyard streaming in and out. They’ve barely had a chance to slow down, take a break, or even talk to each other today. These are the kind of problems Remus always dreamt about.

“Marlene, will you please restock these? I haven’t had a chance to yet,”

“I’m on it, Boss-man!”

“Thanks, love.”

Remus hasn’t had a moment to text, much less talk to Sirius today, but his eyes have been trained on him, following him around the store since he arrived, watching him work his magic and make more sales than Remus can comprehend. Sirius can talk to the grumpiest, most disgruntled customer and have them leaving with a purchase and a smile. It floors Remus every time. 

Remus had argued adamantly with Sirius about not leaving Potter Brothers Books. He was completely against Sirius giving up his life for him. Sirius said he couldn’t invest financially and date Remus at the same time and he couldn’t not do those things either. They were at a stalemate. And then James announced that Potter Brothers had secured a new store location to open in Austin and they would be moving again. Remus had never felt so torn in his life. 

The compromise came when Sirius agreed to become a silent partner in Potter Brothers. James said Sirius was never silent about anything ever. Remus had whispered “especially in the bedroom” into Sirius’ ear and received a punch in the arm for it, but Sirius’ blush made it worth it. 

Sirius started working at Crescent City Books six weeks later. It took a herculean effort, but Remus refused Sirius’ offer to just pay him in blowjobs.

Twelve months ago Remus received his investment backing from Potter Brothers Books and became their official LGBTQ branch location in New Orleans.

Eleven months ago he enthusiastically hired Marlene back full-time. 

Ten months ago Lily did a promotional photoshoot and Remus showed up to work, floored to find a line of people waiting outside for him to open for the day.

Nine months ago when his sales quadrupled, Remus upgraded everything inside and outside of the bookstore except the sign outside that his mother painted by hand. 

Eight months ago Remus took home a full paycheck for the first time in over two years.

Seven months ago Lucy told him that while the bookstore connected her to their mom, it really was Remus’ dream, not hers.

Six months ago Lucy left for a year abroad in Paris and Remus bought her a round-trip ticket.

Five months ago Remus flew to Chicago and met the rest of the Potter family.

Four months ago Remus bought a house and it came with a hot roommate with a man-bun.

Three month ago he was able to pay James and Potter Brothers Inc. back in full. 

Two months ago Crescent City Books was named as a stop along the New Orleans Pride Parade route.

One month ago James and Lily had announced they were moving back to New Orleans to raise their family.

And today Remus watches from across the crowded store room as Sirius helps a customer find something. Sirius’ face is bright, open, happy, as he laughs and gestures about god knows what. Sirius points to the other side of the store and his eyes catch Remus’ trained on him. The sides of his mouth pull up as he fights a smile.

“Rem, sorry to interrupt the eye flirting again, but I was wondering if we’ve ordered more Saints mugs? We're already down to less than 10 and I know they're going to ask for some at the seminar tomorrow,” Marlene says.

Remus rolls his eyes, “I was not flirting! And yes, already ordered, should be coming tomorrow or the day after. Now move, you're blocking my view of him,” Remus teases. Marlene playfully bumps him as she walks away. Remus smiles and turns to the young woman who’s just walked up to the register, “Hi, how are you? Did you find everything you needed?”

Across the store Sirius is doing his best to pay attention to the older gentleman in front of him. He’s basically given this man a tour of the entire bookstore at this point, but the man will not stop talking. Sirius usually loves this part of his job, he loves meeting new people and making conversation. He loves helping, but the store is closing in about 10 minutes and he has been waiting to get his hands on Remus all fucking day.

His eyes dart to Remus—again—and he marvels at Remus Lupin in his element. Remus stands confidently, smiling warmly, eyes bright. He says something to the woman in front of him that Sirius can only assume is adorable and charming because she laughs and tucks her hair behind her ear. 

He doesn’t even know what he does to them. What he does to me.

“... do you think this will work?”

Sirius quickly morphs his face back into one of interest and helpfulness and thinks on the fly. He has been tuning this man out for a while, “Uh, yes sir. Very good choice. Can I show you to the counter and get you checked out?” Sirius doesn’t wait for an answer, just gestures and then starts walking.

When he turns, Remus’ eyes are already on him. He mouths “Oh My God” to Remus and Remus looks down to hide his laugh. 

“This gentleman is all set, Mr. Lupin,” Sirius says with eyes boring into Remus’. His voice is professional, but his smirk is positively sinful.

Remus clears his throat, “Excellent. Thank you, Sirius. I’ll be happy to help.”

Sirius slowly licks his lips because he’s the devil. Remus gives him a warning glare. “Sirius, perhaps you and Marlene can start closing up?”

“Yes of course, Mr. Lupin,” Sirius bites his lip and turns away.

Twenty-six and half minutes later Remus waves good night to Marlene, locks the bookstore door, and flips the sign to ‘closed’. He shuts off the front room lights on his way to the back office and as soon as he’s through the office door he’s immediately pulled into a crushing kiss. He moans, shoves his hands into Sirius’ hair, and kicks the office door shut. He spins them around pushing Sirius against the door with a satisfying mmph. 

“Missed you,” Remus says between kisses, “Couldn’t take my eyes off you.”

“Me? I couldn’t take my eyes off you…Mr. Lupin,” Sirius says as he runs his hands up under Remus’ shirt.

“You - you,” Remus says out of breath, “You know what that does to me Padfoot,” Remus bends to bite and kiss along Sirius’ neck, while Sirius happily arches to accommodate.

“Can’t help it. Too much fun to ooh to mess with you. God you feel good Remus. I feel like I've barely seen you. Shit do that again. We're too fucking busy.”

“We should go home," Remus pants, "We should go home because I do not want to have sex on the office couch.”

“Again.”

“Again.”

“But I mean we could…there is a perfectly sturdy desk,” Sirius grinds his hips against Remus and receives a gasped out moan.

“I do not want to fuck on the desk.”

“Again.”

“Again.”

Sirius grinds his hips and kisses Remus’ mouth. He kisses along his jaw, his neck, and up to his ear. He bites down on Remus’ ear lobe, just the way he knows drives him mad and reaches to squeeze Remus’ ass with both hands.

Remus puts his hands on both sides of Sirius’ face to get his attention, “Sirius B. Potter, we have been on our feet for like ten hours, when we fuck I want it to be in our bed.”

Sirius sighs dramatically, “Fine, fine. Let’s go home … Mr. Lupin.” Sirius slaps Remus’ ass with both hands, then quickly grabs his bag, and bolts for the front door.

”Come on, Love. Let’s go!” Sirius calls from the front.

Remus eyes the large and quite sturdy office desk… 

“Babe, come back! I see your point!”

Sirius comes hurrying back in the office. “Yes? Again?”

”Again.” Remus smiles. 

“UNCLE RUS! UNCLE WEEMUS!”

Harry comes running through the airport gate and dives into Sirius’ arms. Sirius scoops him up and spins him around, clutching Harry’s body to his chest.

“OOF! My god what have they been feeding you. You’ve grown so much!”

“RusandWeemus!” Harry reaches from Sirius to Remus’ arms. Harry wraps his little arms around Remus’ neck and his legs around his ribs, hugging Remus with his whole body.

“Excellent Spiderman hug,” Remus says, rocking him for a moment then setting him down. He puts his hand on top of Harry’s head, “Definitely grown! Pretty soon I can’t call you short stack anymore, huh?”

Harry takes both their hands and turns them around to see Lily with Harry’s baby sister, Melody, strapped to her chest and James pulling and carrying all their carry-ons. They both look exhausted, as all good parents do, but they also both have mega-watt smiles.

“I think he may have missed you a little,” Lily laughs.

“Hi Lils. It’s so good to see you,” Remus hugs her carefully around the baby. Then gently brushes his fingers down the sleeping baby’s head, “Hello, Miss Melody, how are you angel,” he whispers.

“Uncle Rus why are you looking at Weemus like that? Are you crying??”

“I- I have something in my eye. Leave me alone.”

James snickers and Sirius turns fully to him. Sirius and James wrap each other in a firm embrace and hold there for a significant moment. “Damn I missed you brother,” Sirius says softly.

“I can’t imagine how bored you’ve been without me,” says James reaching up to muss Sirius’ hair. Sirius bats his hands away and glares while smoothing everything back into place. Remus and James laugh and embrace too.

“RusandWeemus, Mommy says we’re having a sleepover at your house until our stuff comes and then we’re gonna have a new house too! And I hope it’s blue. But then, then you guys can come have a sleepover at my blue house! But we have to be quiet when my baby goes to sleep ok? And we can just play in my room and then Melly will wake up and then we can play with her too! But Mommy says softly because she doesn’t know stuff yet.”

“Sounds excellent, my pint size compadre,” says Remus.

“You’re so weird Uncle Weemus.”

“Too true Harrington. Too true,” Sirius says as he dodges Remus’ attempts to poke his ribs.

“Let’s go get some bags, shall we boys?” says Lily with a fond smile.

“YES!” Harry yells and takes off running.

All four adults yell “HARRY WAIT!” at the same time.

Remus’ alarm goes off at 7:05am. He slaps at it and rolls onto his back trying his best to open his eyes. He listens to the sound of the shower running until he’s awake enough to sit up and swing his feet over the side of the bed. He rubs his face and runs a hand over the bed head floof of curls on his head. He quickly brushes his teeth, then shuffles to the kitchen to starts the coffee on autopilot. His laptop sits on the kitchen table and it catches his attention as he realizes there’s a post-it note stuck to the top. He walks over and pulls it off.

Moony, you are the favorite part of my day. I love you, Padfoot

Remus walks to the cabinet to pull down Sirius’ favorite ‘I like big mutts and I cannot lie’ mug and his favorite ‘when I think about books I touch my shelf’ mug and sets them on the counter. Inside his mug is another post-it.

Moony, waking up to you is crazy because all my dreams have come true. I love you, Padfoot

With a small smile on his face Remus fills both mugs and is setting the pot back onto the machine when he’s startled by two arms snaking around his waist. He sinks back into the strong, warm body that pulls him close. He drops his head back onto the broad shoulder and closes his eyes.

“Mmm, good morning, Padfoot,” Remus says softly.

“Good morning, my Moony. Sleep well?”

Remus turns in his arms, coffee forgotten, “Very. Very, very. I was worn out by some strenuous activities.”

Sirius smiles, “I know the feeling.” 

“Stop smiling and kiss me.”

“You kiss me.”

“Oh, if I must.”

“Yes, you must.”

“Yes, I mu- mmm.”

When they pull apart Remus cards his fingers through Sirius’ damp hair and tucks some of it behind his ears. He sighs in contentment.

“What would you like for breakfast, love?” asks Sirius.

“Would you mind making eggs?”

“Not at all. Coming right up,” Sirius says with a quick peck to Remus’ lips before turning towards the stove.

Remus takes both coffee mugs to the table and Sirius opens the pot drawer to get the pan. He pauses because inside the pan is a post-it.

Padfoot, you amaze me every day. You make every moment better. I love you, Moony.

Sirius smiles, sets the pan on the stove, and turns to the fridge. He reaches for the eggs and chuckles because there’s a post-it on the carton.

Padfoot, every moment of my life is fuller, richer, more alive because you’re in it. I love you, Moony

Sirius sets the eggs on the counter and turns to Remus, who is already there waiting for him, with a kiss that curls his toes.

“Thank you for your words, Padfoot.”

“Thank you for your words, Moony.”