Chapter Text
Chapter 1: The Decision
March 1998
Severus Snape stared down at the potion bubbling in the cauldron; it was finally done after years of research and months of effort. The colour and consistency matched projections, and unlike previous trials, the cauldron seemed to hold a working potion. If it did what was intended, this cauldron held the greatest chance of winning the war. If it did not, well, then he would probably die.
He headed over to his desk and flipped through his notes. But they could tell him nothing new. Either the potion worked, or it did not. And the only way to know would be to try it.
And therein lay the crux of the matter. Should he try it?
To do so would be to willfully step off the path Dumbledore had set him on. Albus had been adamant that his way was the only way to win the war against Voldemort. But at what cost? Severus mulled pensively. Potter would die - and after that, someone would be free to finally kill Voldemort.
Horcruxes, Severus sneered with distaste while his fist clenched at his side. Yes, he knew. Despite Dumbledore refusing to trust him with the truth, Severus had figured out the horcruxes on his own. After Albus had told him that Harry Potter had to die because a piece of Voldemort’s soul was attached to him, Severus threw himself into research.
He remembers his horror when he finally discovered that Harry Potter was an unintentional horcrux. Worse, Voldemort’s soul would have already been ripped to shreds for it to happen as it did. Other horcruxes were out there and needed to be destroyed before the war could end.
Yet, the world's greatest hope was stumbling about the woods like an ignoramus.
No one in the Order of the Phoenix knew anything useful, and they were merely waiting until Potter called them to action. There was no order to the resistance, no discernable plan; Albus refused to trust anyone with the entirety of his plans before he died, and Severus knew that that would be the undoing of them all. As far as he could tell, Dumbledore’s entire plan consisted of sending the Golden Trio out to kill Horcruxes with nary a weapon nor a map.
Severus had managed to get them the Sword of Gryffindor per Albus’ portrait’s instructions after Christmas. He had even watched Ron Weasley kill a golden locket with the thing. But since then, there has been no progress. Unknown to any of the trio that night, he had set a myriad of tracking and eavesdropping charms on them and their tent, so he knew they were going in endless circles.
The diary, the ring, and the locket; three horcuxes down, three to go. And then what was Albus’ bloody plan. He expected Potter to sacrifice himself, and then the rest of the Order would fight on. But every day, the number of Voldemort’s recruits was growing. Those who had initially been neutral were falling in line, and those in hiding were slowly dying. Even if the boy successfully destroyed the horcruxes and his friends somehow managed to kill Voldemort, there would be a slew of Death Eaters to kill and a Ministry to save from itself.
Hogwarts, at least, was surviving. The Carrows might be demented psychopaths, but it could be worse. They had probably done more for House unity than anything else in the last century. Severus was proud at how well most of his students had protected each other, and those in the most danger had taken refuge in the Room of Requirement. So, the students were safer in school than out of it.
The same could not be said for him. He was slowly losing his strength. His personal lab, which he’d kept while teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts and as Headmaster, was his one safe space. Safe from the Carrows and their demands. Safe from the rest of the staff and their disgust. Safe from the students and their fear. No one else had access, and the entrance was heavily warded. It was the one place he could go and make plans of his own.
And now, almost a year after Albus told him that Harry had to die, he finally had a solution… the potion in this room.
If he drank it, theoretically, it would send his soul back to the past and give them more time. More time to find a way to kill the horcrux living in Harry—without killing him—and more time to defeat Voldemort. Severus had spent six months looking for a way to destroy a horcrux without basilisk venom or fiendfyre, someway to kill the soul shard and not the vessel. But so far, he had nothing, and he refused to give up. He simply needed more time!
And this is where the potion came in. Severus had initially started to research time travel after Lily was killed. In the years after she died, it had become his most time-consuming hobby. However, Albus discovered what he was attempting to do and made him promise to stop. Well, Severus thought savagely, Albus wasn’t here anymore, so he could do whatever he damned well pleased.
After Potter and his friends had foolishly broken into the Ministry, breaking many priceless artifacts in the Department of Mysteries, he had managed to collect a quantity of the time dust from broken time turners. At least one good thing came from that god-awful night; that dust had furthered his research to the completion point. Once again, Severus stared pensively at the brew and mulled over his options.
They were losing the war. And even though Albus had definite and convoluted plans for a victory, Harry would die. And Severus sincerely doubted that he, too, would live to see peace. Even if he managed to survive (which he’d arithmantically calculated to be a minuscule probability), there would be no one left alive to testify to his innocence. No one to reiterate that Severus had killed Dumbledore on Albus’ own orders.
So, the greater good that Dumbledore kept preaching about, none of it pertained to Potter and himself. This war and Albus’ greater good had broken the wizarding world…was still breaking it.
Severus would fail in his oath to keep Harry Potter alive, and the war would march on, consuming their world. With a snort of derision, it finally occurred to him that said unbreakable vow would kill him the moment Harry died, no matter what. So that would be it then; they would both die when it came time for Voldemort to destroy the horcrux residing in Harry.
Unless, of course, he used the potion.
He wished with all his heart he could go back to save Lily, but there was not enough potion. What potion he had would allow him to go back only five years. He might be able to get away with seven years, but he knew the brew wasn’t stable past the five-year mark. Pushing it back seventeen years—before he’d heard that hated prophecy—would be suicidal. And he had only one chance. There would be no do-overs or repeats, especially sending himself back so far.
Though the pain of losing Lily had lessened over the years, he would never forgive himself for causing her death. He had accepted his actions to be judged thus for the entirety of his life. And he had paid a heavy penance, spying for Albus, since that day. He eventually realized that Lily would’ve forgiven him for not going back to save her, and would encourage him to take the safer path to save her son.
Severus knew that if he did this, he would have to tread an entirely new path. To stop the war before it started, he would have to create a third ‘side’, away from the Dark’s insanity and the Light’s greater good. He would have to find a way to save Harry on his own. Suddenly feeling hopeful at the thought, Severus reconsidered. What greater task could there be for a potion master? As he told his first-year class, potions were a subtle science. He recalled the speech he gave to his first-years with fondness: “I can teach you how to bewitch the mind and ensnare the senses. I can tell you how to bottle fame, brew glory, and even put a stopper in death.”
Severus was the youngest potion master in over a century and the most successful potions teacher in Hogwarts’ history. Many students didn’t know this, but since its inception, Hogwarts had lost an average of one student a year to a potions accident, as well as countless limbs. He recalled three students who died in the potions classroom while he was at school.
Not only had no one died during his tenure as a professor, but no one had lost so much as a finger in his class. He was one of the greatest potion masters in the world, and he did not doubt that with enough time, he could find a way to save Harry. To do it subtly, in such a way that neither the Dark Lord nor Albus Dumbledore noticed, now that would be a true challenge.
Standing abruptly, Severus Snape came to a decision. He crossed the room and began to ladle out the potion. The world was falling apart under two chess masters, and it was time to give the world a second chance, this time with a potion master at its helm.
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