Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The air hung heavy, almost making it difficult to breathe. It enveloped her even through the armour she wore, weighing her down. Barely any light made it through her helmet, her eyes needing time to adjust to the new environment. But it didn’t matter; there wasn’t much to see anyway. It was the same barren wasteland she had gotten all too familiar with.

She was back. Back in the Realm of Darkness.

Aqua swallowed, doing her best to calm her breathing. She had to remember why she was there. It wasn’t an accident this time, she was there with a purpose. And this time she wouldn’t have to face the dark wasteland alone.

Someone’s hand brushed against her shoulder. Turning around, she saw Terra standing next to her, his face somehow emanating concern through his helmet.

“I’m fine,” she told him, nudging him away before he could say anything. Her unease hadn’t been that easy to sense, had it? Even Ven had stepped closer.

“Still, Aqua,” the boy said, moving his hand to her back in Terra’s place. “You shouldn’t have to push yourself. I know it’s gotta be tough to be here again.”

Aqua looked between the two boys. Her dearest friends. Despite everything they had gone through, that hadn’t changed. There were still times she needed to pinch herself, not quite believing that everything had worked out so well for them. They each still wore scars from their experiences, but she was happy to know it hadn’t changed their relationship much.

And now, she wasn’t alone any more.

“Thank you, you two,” she said, projecting her smile through her voice. “But I promise I’m fine. We have a job to do after all.”

The two of them nodded in acknowledgement. Finding Sora was their top priority. After everything that boy had done for them, there was no way they could just let him disappear like that. Everyone else was searching in their own way, and when the Realm of Darkness arose as a possible place, Aqua was the first to raise her hand. She was terrified, of course, but out of all of them, she was the one who knew that realm the best. And who knows, maybe it time to turn the tables and save Sora from the Realm of Darkness, like he had for her.

Only this time, they were not unprepared by any means, already making this journey a million times better than the last. Having her best friends by her side was only part of it. With their powers combined, they had the option of creating a doorway out at any moment. If only that had been a possibility for Aqua during her extended stay, but all that mattered is now they could escape whenever necessary. But starting the search would have to come before even thinking such thoughts.

“So,” Aqua began, grabbing her friends’ attention. “Shall we get going? Staying in one place too long isn’t a good idea.”

After another nod, they began their trek along the dark road, marching as close together as possible. Aqua kept her eyes open, trying to discern any landmarks, but the realm had shifted since she was last there. She was finally started to appreciate the momentous task that lay ahead of them, but that was no reason to give in.

With every step they took, she was alert to their surroundings. If she lost her concentration, the air would start to crush her again. But she couldn’t let that unease show, lest her friends start to worry for her again. All she would need to do was reach for their lights to let her know things were okay.

But she noticed one thing a while into their walk, when the environment slowly began to change. They had yet to run into any Heartless. For the amount of time they had spent down there walking, they should have at least encountered a few of them by now. A lack of Heartless was normally a good thing, but Aqua couldn’t help but feel on edge.

“It’s really quiet down here, isn’t it?” said Terra, as if sensing her thoughts. Aqua nodded, but couldn’t bring herself to say anything else. That feeling of dread kept growing.

“I was expecting we’d get into a fight by now,” mused Ven. “What do you think’s going on? Do you think the Heartless have all gathered somewhere else?”

That’s something Aqua had considered, but surely there would still be stragglers. Even though she knew very well that they liked to gather sometimes, it was still their realm, where new ones would appear almost endlessly. Seeing none was a more worrying sign than they’d think.

“I guess there’s only one way to find out,” she said, determined to continue onwards. If what Ven said was true, a horrifying amount of Heartless were gathered somewhere, and they would be able to spot that in an instant. But the more important thing was why they would be focused in one spot like that.

If something had caught their attention, it was well worth investigating.

Aqua stopped as soon as they entered a new area. Ahead of them lay a rocky space, with various formations littering the landscape. There were plenty of places to hide, and plenty to trip over if they weren’t careful. But that wasn’t what caught her attention. That cold weight on her chest had returned.

The others were starting to feel it too. A wave of darkness assaulted their senses, coming from somewhere just in front of them. They barely had time to react before the Heartless started to spawn. Almost like they were waiting in ambush, they soon surrounded them, ensuring there were no gaps to break through.

All three of them summoned their Keyblades, and readied themselves. The Heartless was a mix of the smaller variety, but even those could overwhelm you with sheer numbers. Aqua shuddered remembering the Demon Tower.

When the first Heartless charged forward, it was eliminated with an ice spell, marking the start of the battle. As more of them came forward, each wielder began cutting through them, doing what they could to keep a space between them and the Heartless. Even though they were now on the defensive, it would only take a few well-placed spells to turn things around in their favour.

As Terra and Ven took out the ones that got too close, Aqua readied a Shotlock, firing it once it was completely charged to decimate the ones lying straight ahead. Though it left an opening, it was quickly being filled in on either side.

“Hurry!” she shouted to her friends. “We have to keep moving!”

They charged ahead, aiming for a better vantage point. The uneven ground was difficult to traverse, but if they could just find the right spot, nothing would be able to touch them. However, the Heartless were just as determined, and simply moving forward was proving to be a challenge. Still, they persevered, and with each one vanquished, Aqua was sure the crowd was starting to thin.

But something strange caught her eye as she was preparing her next attack.

“Those heartless are being drawn away,” she said, pointing her Keyblade towards the group near a short rock face. “I can’t imagine just those ones lost interest.”

“You think something’s there?” Terra asked, slicing through an approaching Heartless.

She nodded, knocking the last Heartless out of her way. “Let’s go see.”

The trio moved forward, doing what they could to watch around them while gazing up ahead. Aqua jumped up a nearby platform to see better.

“There!” she yelled, pointing ahead. “Something’s definitely back there!”

Ven climbed up too, gasping when he saw what Aqua was pointing at. Terra did his best to follow.

“Can you tell what it is?” he asked them as he reached them.

“I can’t tell if it’s a Heartless or not,” said Ven, peering out. “It’s so far away, I can’t make out anything.”

Off in the distance, the Heartless were definitely crowding around something. But as Ven said, from there, it was impossible to tell what it was.

“We should find out what it is,” said Aqua, preparing to jump down. “It could be a person.”

“You think so?” asked Terra. “You don’t think it could be Sora?”

Aqua blasted a few Heartless from the ground before jumping down. She quickly lost sight of it, but she at least knew the right direction.

“I’m not sure,” she said, watching as Terra jumped down to join her. “If it was, don’t you we’d be able to tell?”

“I know what you mean. He’s a pretty flashy fighter after all.”

“Guys!” shouted Ven, who still stood on the platform. “I can see it better now! It definitely looks like a person!”

That was enough for Aqua. She charged through the next few Heartless in her way, before taking off running. The Heartless up this end seemed far less interested in her, so it was a lot easier to push her way through. There, just ahead, she spotted a figure jump into the shadows.

“Hey!” she shouted into the darkness. Ven was right. There had been a person there just moments before, but it was like it disappeared as soon as she laid eyes on it. It was impossible to tell anything about it, other than it was human sized.

Now she was this close, it was obvious the Heartless had no interest in the three heroes, and were instead drawn to whatever lay over there. The group were able to have their first space to breathe, despite the amount Heartless that still surrounded them. But they had to worry for the poor soul who attracted so much of the Heartless’ attention.

Just as they went to push through again, there was a disturbance in the crowd ahead. Aqua barely had time to think when the figure burst out from behind a rock pillar, Heartless at its tail. The figure gathered something in its hands, before blasting it at the ones behind. Darkness. The figure was using darkness.

Aqua reigned in her shock. She had to remember, she now knew people who used that power to help others. And besides, if they were being attacked like that, it was unlikely they were on the Heartless’ side.

“Let us help!” she shouted, just as she, Terra, and Ven finally pushed through to the figure’s vicinity. The person in front of them was still using the power of darkness to force the Heartless back, but it seemed like they were struggling. It was only when the group got closer that Aqua recognised him. Her blood ran cold.

If he noticed them approaching, he didn’t show any indication. Surely, he would have said something by now if he had. Ven must have realised who he was the same time as Aqua, judging from how his step faltered. She couldn’t blame him; this was one of the last people they wanted to see. His armour was still the same, making Aqua wonder why she hadn’t recognised him sooner. And then there was that mask he wore, its blackness letting nothing in.

After disposing of another Heartless, he finally turned to face them.

“…Vanitas,” Ven spoke. “Is that really you?”

The figure stared at them a moment, before letting out a cold laugh. It shook Aqua to the core, her mind flashing back to the times they fought. But then another Heartless flung itself at him, and his laughter stopped while he fended it off.

“While I’m sure this is a touching reunion for you all, don’t you think we have more important things to worry about?”

She would know that voice anywhere, there was no longer any doubt. But her initial fear began wearing off when looking at the state he was in. His armour was scuffed in places, and she was sure she saw a crack along his helmet. But despite that, he still tried to be cocky.

Aqua shot one last glance toward her friends, before dashing towards the figure in front of them, aiming spells at the Heartless surrounding him.

“Then let’s clear them away,” she said as she got closer. “Together.”

Vanitas let out another laugh as he pulled one away from him, crushing it into smoke.

“I don’t need your help,” he spat. “I was doing fine until you got here.”

“Don’t blame us,” spoke Terra once he caught up to them, a sharp edge in his voice. “Who’s to say it’s not your darkness that brought them here.”

“In case you hadn’t noticed, this whole place is darkness. But then your lights had to stroll in and mess everything up.”

Aqua doubted that. Ever since arriving, they only got the Heartless’ attention when they approached this place. Even if he was right and they upset the balance in some way, it was clear who they were really after. What Aqua couldn’t figure out was why.

“Guys, can we do this later?” Ven spoke up. “I got a lot of questions too, but we need to get rid of these guys first.”

Vanitas snapped his head towards him. “And I said I don’t need your help. Why don’t you go back to where you came from?”

“Don’t be stupid,” spoke Aqua. “There’s no way we’re leaving now. Not when we still have work to do.”

He scoffed. “Fine. Just don’t get in my way. I’ll cut you down like I should have ages ago.”

Aqua watched him. He still hadn’t summoned a Keyblade, it made her wonder if he could.

“I’d like to see you try,” she muttered.

The unlikely team continued to fight along. It was clear that Aqua and her friends were the ones pulling the weight, while Vanitas could do little more than keep the Heartless away from himself. But even in the Realm of Darkness, waves of Heartless like this would vanish eventually. Aqua could see more and more gaps opening in the crowd, and before long, they were down to the last dozen or so.

Vanitas was the one to take out the last Heartless with a well-aimed fireball. Afterwards, they each held their breath, waiting for the dust to settle.

When no more appeared, Aqua let out her breath, hearing the others do the same. But there wasn’t time to relax just yet. She turned to face the boy in front of them, watching as he leant against a nearby rock wall. No one was willing to let him out of their sight, but he didn’t look like he was in any shape to run away. His helmet had broken at some point during the battle, revealing some of his dark hair, and a single golden eye. He still had the mark of Xehanort, even though Aqua was sure it disappeared from the others.

As she stared, he finally lifted his head up. Distain for them was in that eye.

“Didn’t I tell you to get lost already?”

“That’s not happening,” spoke Terra, stepping towards him. “Not until we find out what you’re doing here.”

He chuckled. “Isn’t it obvious? I’m darkness… here in the darkness.”

“Did you end up here after the fight?” asked Ven. “We watched you fade. I thought you would have headed back to where you came from?”

“You mean you?” he scoffed. “Did you want me back so badly?”

“That’s not what I meant,” said Ven, dismissing his helmet so he could look at him directly. “You all came from the past, didn’t you? Why didn’t you go back?”

“Who can say?” he said, stepping towards them. “All I know is that I’m here now. The darkness is where I belong after all. Unlike you.”

Aqua took her helmet off too, brushing her hair out of her face. She felt uneasy about exposing her face to the darkness again, but she wanted to look him in the eye.

“We have a reason for being here,” she told him. “We’re trying to look for Sora. Have you seen him?”

He gaped at her, eye wide in disbelief. Aqua was about to question him, but then the laughter came again, more intense than before. He curled in on himself, his whole body shaking from the force of it.

“What are you, an idiot?” he spoke between breaths. “There’s no way that loser ended up here of all places. You don’t really think he’s down here, do you?”

Aqua narrowed her eyes. “We aren’t leaving a single stone unturned. And how can you be sure he isn’t here? Have you searched the entire realm?”

“I don’t need to. A light as disgustingly bright as his would be picked up in an instant.”

More of his helmet started breaking away as he spoke. He groaned, before using his hand to dismiss it all together. It was still astonishing how much he looked like Sora, but Aqua couldn’t imagine his face twisting like that.

She also couldn’t imagine him looking so exhausted. Dark circles hung under his eyes, an ill match for the sinister grin he wore.

“Don’t tell me the only reason you’re here is to go on some wild goose chase,” he spoke. “This is too much. You left your precious Realm of Light, nearly got devoured by Heartless, all because you think there’s a chance that little hero is here?”

“We don’t give up, Vanitas. Even if he’s unlikely to be here, we won’t stop until we’re sure. I’m not leaving anyone behind here.”

“Then you’ll be searching forever. Shouldn’t you know that, Master Aqua?” He sneered her name. “You were down here yourself for a while, weren’t you? You more than anyone should know how endless this place is.”

Endless. It had seemed that way, hadn’t it? But then her friends came for her.

“That’s all the more reason to search.”

He groaned. “Why are you all so stubborn? As much as I want to see you all fade into darkness, I’m doing you a favour. He’s not here, so get out.”

“We don’t take orders from you,” spoke Terra, brandishing his Keyblade. He too had taken his helmet off, showing the tranquil fury in his eyes.

Vanitas eyed it, his grin not leaving his face. “So what, you’re gonna kill me? I gotta admit, these Heartless were getting pretty boring.”

“Wait, Terra!” Ven stepped between them. “He hasn’t attacked us yet. There’s no reason to fight.”

“He’s right. He hasn’t even summoned his Keyblade yet.” Aqua turned back to Vanitas. “Is it because you can’t?” 

His eyes narrowed. “Don’t be stupid. I just didn’t need it to deal with those guys.”

“Really? Because it looks to me like you were having a lot of trouble.”

“You’re seeing things.”

“It looks like you haven’t slept either,” she continued. “Just how long have you been down here, fighting the shadows?”

His mouth twisted into an amused grin, contrasting the bags under his eyes. “Fighting? I’m in my element. Just because you suffered here doesn’t mean I do.”

“Ah, that explains why they were attacking you.”

“And I already said that was your fault. Your light must have aggravated them.”

“Perhaps, but they went after you, not us. And believe me, I know exhaustion, and while that fight didn’t help, I can see yours runs a lot deeper. Tell me, are you here because you want to be? Or are you stranded with no way out?”

His eye twitched. It looked like she struck a nerve.

“Shut up,” he growled. “Stop talking like you know me. I’m here because this is where I belong. I’m simply biding my time, regaining my strength, all so I can finally crush you all.”

“You don’t mean that, Vanitas,” Ven interjected. “Xehanort was the one who forced you to do all that. But he’s gone, there’s no reason for us to fight any more.”

Vanitas glared at him in disgust. “You’re wasting your breath. You and Sora’s little friendship speech didn’t work last time, so why would it work now?”

“Maybe we are wasting our time,” said Terra, turning back to his friends. “Come on, let’s go. We won’t attack if he doesn’t, so let’s just leave him be.”

“Huh. That’s the first time you said something intelligent.”

Terra snapped around to look at him, but Aqua jumped between them before things got messy.

“Ven has a point, you know,” Aqua said to Vanitas. “Xehanort is gone. He can’t control you anymore. And if I’ve learnt anything, it’s that people deserve a second chance.”

Vanitas seemed amused by that. “What’s this? You’re willing to forgive me? After all the times I tried to kill you and your friends?”

“If you’re willing to try, then yes.”

“Well, it’s too bad I’m not.” With that last word, he summoned his Keyblade. The three other wielders summoned theirs on reflex.

Aqua glared at him as she gripped at her Keyblade. “So you can summon it.”

“Your mistake was thinking I couldn’t.”

It was desperation, it had to be. The three of them had him surrounded, there was no point even starting the fight.

“You know you can’t take all three of us,” she tried to tell him. But he only laughed at her.

“Maybe not,” he grinned. “But I can definitely get at least one of you.”

With that, he vanished under the earth, but Aqua knew exactly what he was attempting. She dodged to the side just as he burst from the ground, before charging back in with a swing of her own Keyblade. She felt it clash against his, ignoring the shock that went through her arm. But she wouldn’t let up, pushing him back with all her strength. Now she was closer to him, she knew she was right. His Keyblade shook, like doing something as simple as holding her back was a struggle. His teeth clenched, and beads of sweat rolled down his face. He glared at her, his face contorting in irritation. Like he realised she knew the true condition he was in.

“What’s with that look?” he growled.

“You may have summoned it, but you can barely hold onto it, can you?”

With one last push, his footing began to slip. His Keyblade clanked to the ground and vanished, with him falling to his knees not long after. Aqua’s Keyblade was still pointed at him, ready to deliver a blow if necessary. But she wouldn’t strike.

Vanitas pulled his head up to look at her. “What are you waiting for? Do it. I know you want to.”

“Shut up,” she spoke. “I don’t attack enemies when they’re down. I’m not like you.”

He was mocking her. Just with that look, it’s like he was goading her.

“Aqua,” she heard Terra say, as he tried to step in. But she simply shook her head, clearing her mind.

“It’s alright,” she assured him. “He isn’t worth it.”

That got Vanitas to smirk again, but this time it had an edge of pain to it.

“So what, you’re gonna let me go. I don’t want your pity.”

He reached his arm up. Aqua prepared herself, thinking he would attack. But then he grabbed the tip of her Keyblade, pulling until towards him until it pointed at the centre of his forehead. Aqua could only stand there in disbelief.

“I said do it!” he nearly spat. “You saw how weak I am. Why don’t you let me die with some dignity?”

Horrified, Aqua dismissed her Keyblade. Vanitas fell further when he had nothing to hold onto, collapsing onto the ground in front of him. Aqua stared at him, shocked over the state of her former enemy. This wasn’t the same person who taunted her and her friends, who put up a good fight with her all those times before. In front of her now was just a shell, beaten down by the Realm of Darkness like all others who get lost there.

If she was still trapped, on the verge of fading away, would she be asking the same?

After a while, he pulled his head up again to glare at her, acid in his expression.

“What’s wrong, too scared to take me out? Or am I not even worth killing?”

“Look at yourself,” she spoke. “Is this what the Realm of Darkness has reduced you to? Do you really want to die that badly?”

He got back onto his knees, before slowly lifting himself up.

“You keep thinking this realm is bad for me. I would have disappeared completely if I hadn’t come here.”

“And at the rate you’re going you’ll disappear entirely!”

“So what? It’s not like I’m supposed to exist in the first place.”

“Vanitas!” Ven yelled. “Enough! I don’t want to hear you talk like that. Who cares if you weren’t supposed to exist, you’re still here now. I stand by what I said, you can be whatever you want now. But is fading into darkness really your answer?”

Vanitas didn’t answer, turning his glare towards Ven.

“How terrible is this realm,” Aqua murmured to herself. “That even those of darkness suffer here.”

The group looked towards her, not being able to hear what she said. But Aqua paid them no mind as she pondered something.

“Vanitas,” she spoke after a moment. “When we’re ready to leave, I want you to come back with us.”

Everyone stared at her like she grew a second head, each with varying levels of disbelief on their face. But Terra was the first to speak.

“Aqua, are you crazy? What are you saying?”

“No one deserves to be stuck down here, Terra,” she spoke, turning towards him. “That includes him.”

They turned back to Vanitas who had yet to speak. She had never seen such a look of bewilderment before. Like it was the last thing he expected her to say. He opened his mouth, but seemed to struggle to find the words.

“Are you… joking?” he finally said, before a hollow laugh escaped his lips. “You really think the Realm of Light will be any better for me? I’m not you, remember.”

“It can’t be any worse.”

“Wait, Aqua,” Terra interjected. “You can’t be serious.”

“But she’s right,” said Ven. “Look at him. He can’t live like this.”

Vanitas laughed again, irritation growing on his face.

“Since when do you decide how I live?”

Even Ven was getting frustrated. “Vanitas, we’re giving you a chance.”

“When will it get through that empty skull of yours that I don’t want one?”

Terra crossed his arms. “If he doesn’t want to go, we can’t force him. We can’t forget what we’re here for.”

“Can none of you idiots listen? I keep telling you, he isn’t here. You’re wasting your time.”

“Why should we believe you?” Terra asked, staring him down.

He scoffed. “What do I gain for lying about that? I’d love to see all of you fade into darkness trying to look, but I’d rather you all just get out of my sight.”

“This is getting nowhere,” said Terra, starting to walk. He turned around to see his friends still staring at Vanitas. “Come on. If we can’t convince him, there’s no point staying here.”

Ven glared at Vanitas sadly, but soon started following Terra. Aqua was the last still standing there, and caught the ire of Vanitas again.

“What? If you don’t hurry, your friends will leave you behind.”

“Aren’t you tired of this?” she asked him. “Is sticking to your ways really worth all the pain?”

“Why do you care so much anyway? You should be putting me out of my misery, not giving me a second chance. And you’re still here trying to reason with me, how stubborn can you get?”

She shook her head. “No. You’re the stubborn one.”

There was nothing more she could say. With one last glare, she turned to follow her friends, waiting for her just a little way ahead.

Continuing onward was the only thing left to do. The Heartless were cleared from the area, but they’d be back. They always would. The group made it past that rocky area, the smoother surroundings offering little in the way of cover, but was far easier to traverse.

Every now and then, Aqua would think back to the encounter. She did her best not to let that meeting get to her, but it was difficult to remember how pitiful he looked. How he asked her to put him out of his misery. This place had done that to him, despite what he said. That could have been her and she shuddered to think about it. But that meeting had shaken all of them, and she wondered how Ven was faring in particular.

She glanced at the boy. They had all put their helmets back on, so it was difficult to tell what he was thinking. He caught Aqua staring, and she imagined he was giving her his signature grin to reassure her.

“Guys, you shouldn’t let it get to you,” spoke up Terra from the lead. “He made his decision. There’s no use sparing him any more thought.”

“I know,” Aqua began. “It’s just… did you see how exhausted he was? Even if he was awful to us, he doesn’t deserve to die down here.”

Not here. All alone.

“It’ll be okay, Aqua,” said Ven. “He’s tough, so we shouldn’t underestimate him. We should be more worried about him trying to take over the place.”

“I don’t think we have to worry about that,” said Terra. He had a point; Vanitas was struggling against normal Heartless. But the thought wasn’t making Aqua feel any better.

“Still, should we have done more?” she pondered, slowing in her step. “I can’t help but feel like we’re leaving him to his death. I know he was our enemy, but I don’t feel right leaving him here in the state he’s in.”

After a few more steps, the others noticed Aqua was no longer following. They stopped to see her standing in place, staring at the ground.

“We could go back and try again,” Ven offered, walking back toward her. “Though he might actually attack us this time.”

Terra had turned back to face them, but didn’t make any other movements. “Aren’t we supposed to be looking for Sora?”

Aqua nodded. “Of course. But I know Sora wouldn’t want us leaving him behind if there was a chance we could help him.”

“So we go back, then what? Drag him along? He seemed pretty adamant about not helping us.”

Aqua was about to reply, when the ground began to shake below her feet. The others felt it too, each of them summoning their Keyblade. She scanned the area. Something was nearby, and from the way the ground shook, it was big.

“Keep your guard up,” she told them, as each of them readied themselves. Aqua peered through the darkness as best she could, searching for any sign of movement.

But that turned out not to be necessary. An enormous blast ran out from somewhere behind them. They all turned around, staring towards that rocky area, but nothing could be seen from where they were.

“That’s where we came from,” said Ven. “You don’t think…”

“Come on!” Aqua shouted before charging off, the others quickly behind.

That blast was near where they left Vanitas. Either he managed to cause it, which was a whole different problem, or something else did. Something that would have to be dealt with.

As they approached, it became obvious what the culprit was. Sitting in a giant crater in the middle of the area was a giant Heartless. It wasn’t quite as large as a Darkside, but it was large enough to crush them if it wished. Its body was almost plant-like, tendrils of darkness sprouting out of it like vines. Clumps of rock surrounded it, like it had burst from the ground in a violent explosion.

Just as they processed what they were seeing, they spotted a figure being flung away by one of the vines, smashing into a rock wall before slowly getting back to his feet. Another tendril poised to attack.

“Look out!” Aqua yelled, aiming a Shotlock towards it. The blast disintegrated it along with the ones nearby, clearing a path for her to get to him. Vanitas was propping himself up with his Keyblade, completely out of breath. His helmet was still gone, revealing the various scuffs on his face. Even so, he still managed to glare daggers at her.

“Why… are you here? I thought I told you to get lost.”

“We heard the blast and came running,” she said. “Good thing too, I didn’t expect you to be on your last legs as soon as we leave.”

“I don’t need your help! This thing is nothing.”

Before Aqua could retort, another vine reached for them from under their feet. She blasted it away before it could reach them, noting that Vanitas was slow to react to it.

“If we were any longer, you’d be dead,” she told him. “Please, let us handle it.”

“I’m not some princess who needs protecting. When will you get the hint?”

“Hey, Aqua!” Terra yelled out. He and Ven were a short distance, closer to the main monster. “This thing isn’t going down easy!”

“I’m on it!” she shouted back, preparing to join them. But before that, she turned back to Vanitas, watching as he still struggled to stand. “If you really think you’re capable, then help us. Otherwise, stay out of the way.”

“You think you can order me-”

Before he could finish, Aqua shot a spell behind him, vanquishing the tendril that snuck up trying to grab him. He hadn’t even noticed it that time.

“I can’t keep saving you. Either pull yourself together, or go hide somewhere.”

“You…” he growled at her, his fist shaking. If it weren’t for the situation, and the state he was in, she might have worried he would attack her again. But she couldn’t concern herself with him right now, and she had given him enough warnings. With one last glare, she turned her back on him to go join her friends.

Ven noticed her as she stepped over. “How is he?” he asked as he threw his Keyblade at the Heartless.

“He’s not listening. I don’t know if I can get through to him.”

“I’d be happy to try, but…” He stopped to knock back one of the dark vines. “This thing won’t let up.”

“You too?” Terra called out. “No matter what I throw at this thing, it just keeps coming!”

“I’ve never fought anything like this before,” said Aqua. “But this thing has to go down eventually!”

The trio went off, each attacking whatever tendril they could reach. Any attacks aimed towards the main body were reflected back by those vines, meaning they would need to come up with a strategy.

“Terra! Ven! Try and draw those vines away! I’ll see if I can aim a spell when its unprotected!”

There didn’t need to be words, she knew they understood what to do. Terra began hacking at the tendrils surrounding the monster, while Ven backed him up, ensuring none would get close enough to interrupt. Aqua took position, watching as the monster’s protection faded. Before long, Terra had revealed its form.

“Now!” she shouted, launching a high tier fire spell at the Heartless. It struck its centre, causing it to recoil. But the victory they felt was only brief. Before the smoke could even vanish, the ground rumbled once more, Aqua barely dodging to the side as an absurd number of vines burst out from beneath them.

“Did you just make it angry!” Vanitas shouted from where he stood. “You can’t be serious!”

Aqua flicked her head back to check on him, but her attention was brought back by the vines now aiming for her. As she worked to clear them away, she heard a grunt of pain, followed by the sound of someone clanging to the ground nearby. One of the tendrils had flung Vanitas a lot closer to them, and he didn’t look happy as he struggled to his feet.

“I thought you were supposed to be good at this!” he yelled, his face twisting in pain. He wasn’t even trying to hide it anymore. “Never mind me, your stupid plan is going to get us all killed!”

“Quiet,” she said, slicing at a few more vines. But for every one she defeated, two more grew in its place.

“Do you even know what that thing is?” he taunted. “Those vines seek out its victims, beat them down, and then devour them. That thing’s been eating most of the Heartless here, and now you three have shown up, it’s looking for a better meal.”

She thought back to the mess he was in when they encountered him. “But it was attacking you first. It didn’t appear anywhere near us. Ever since we came here, you were the one being attacked, Vanitas.”

He glared at her. “You’re imagining things.”

“Well, if you know so much about this thing, how do we defeat it?”

“If I knew that, it wouldn’t be a problem right now!”

A yell came from near the monster. Aqua turned towards it in time to watch Ven get flung back.

“Ven!” Terra and Aqua yelled at the same time. The boy landed a short way away from Aqua and Vanitas, and despite the throw, he managed to get to his feet fairly quickly.

“I’m okay!” he said as he took his stance again. If Ven, fast as he is, managed to get hit like that, either he was getting tired or this thing was even faster. Neither option was a good one.

They had to do something. At the rate they were going, they would all get devoured like Vanitas said. Aqua focused and weighed up their options. There weren’t very many, but there was one thing she could utilise that she didn’t have last time.

“Everyone!” she shouted, grabbing their attention. “We don’t know enough about this thing to defeat it. We should retreat for now!”

“Running away, are we?” muttered Vanitas.

“There’s no point to dying here! If we can get away, we should!”

“And how do you plan to do that, Master Aqua?” he mocked again. “In case you hadn’t noticed, we’re surrounded.”

“Terra! Ven!” she yelled to her friends, ignoring what Vanitas said. “Do it now! We have to get out of here!”

“Got it!” they both shouted back. With one last push, they banished away the vines in their vicinity, before aiming their Keyblades at a space above them. A beam of light shot from each, before joining together to split open a gateway. Afterwards they threw their Keyblades in the air, watching as they changed into gliders. They flew down to their respective owners, before each of them climbed on board. Only Vanitas remained on the ground, glaring at them in irritation.

“So, you’re just gonna fly away back to your Realm of Light? Cowards.”

Aqua looked down at him from her glider. They had flown just out of reach of the vines, but that wouldn’t be the case for long. Even so, none of them had taken flight yet. That doorway wouldn’t stay open very long.

“Come with us,” she told Vanitas again. “If you stay here, you’ll die.”

“I already said I’m not interested,” he spoke, slashing away at the vines who suddenly became more interested in him. Aqua couldn’t just watch, so she shot off a few spells with one hand, trying to stay close. She knew the second they left, those vines would just completely consume him.

“Do you really want to fade away that badly?” she asked, her disbelief leaking through. No one could be that foolish.

She herself had come close before, but there were people who saved her. And now it was the same for him. There were people willing to save him, yet he was pushing them away.

Vanitas looked up at her, and to her shock, started ignoring the tendrils around him. “Why do you care? Shouldn’t you be happy I’m meeting my end like this? The smart thing to do is just leave me behind.”

Aqua wanted to scream.

“No! I refuse!” she yelled, feeling her anger surge. “I don’t care who you are, I refuse to let anyone else fade into darkness like this!”

He still was still staring up at her, but his eyes had widened. There was that same surprise on his face from when she first asked him to go with them. Like he hadn’t expected anyone to fight for him. He hadn’t responded, but there was no time to wait for one.

Gritting her teeth, she aimed her glider downwards, slicing through various vines in an arc, before slowing down in front of Vanitas. When the way was finally clear, she reached out for him, offering him her hand. For the longest time, he just gawked at it, like he was waiting for some sort of trick.

“Take it, or I’ll drag you up myself,” she told him, and that was what it took to snap him out of his stupor. With one last click mutter under his breath, he reached for her hand, his fingers digging into her glove as she started to pull him up. Aqua used her strength to pull him onto her glider, feeling him collapse against the back of her armour when he was finally aboard. It was like his legs had finally given in.

“Aqua! We gotta go!” she heard Terra yell. She flew up towards him and Ven where they waited. Without wasting any more time, the group all flew up and into the portal, ensuring it shut as soon as the last glider made it through.

The group landed at the courtyard of the Land of Departure a little too hastily. Their gliders skid along the ground, each of them needing to brake before crashing into the staircase. As they sat there catching their breath, the first to touch the ground was Vanitas, who jumped off Aqua’s glider almost as soon as they landed. She eyed him while dismissing her glider and armour, making sure not to lose sight of him. He didn’t seem to be doing anything noteworthy, and was more or less just trying to shield his eyes from the sunlight. Aqua’s eyes ached from it too, but it wasn’t a concern right now.

As Aqua watched him, Terra came up behind her, his armour also gone.

“Aqua, you…”

“Yes, Terra. I brought him back. You didn’t think I would leave him there, did you?”

He looked as if he wanted to say something else, but held his tongue. Ven walked over to them, keeping his own eyes on Vanitas.

“Thank you, Aqua,” he said. “I would have hated to leave him behind too.”

“Well that’s just touching, but did you idiots even consider what I wanted?”

Vanitas was sneering at them, but there was almost an edge of delight in his features.

“You caught me, Aqua,” he began, a sly grin creeping to his face. “You’re right, I couldn’t get out. But now you’ve gone and done that for me, and thanks to you, I’m free to terrorise the worlds again.”

The trio glared at him, but Aqua didn’t let her expression falter.

“How will you do that?” she asked. “Considering you needed our help to even survive down there, I don’t think you’re in any condition to go around and terrorise anyone.”

“Don’t underestimate me. What if making you think I was weak was all part of my plan?”

“Then what are you still doing here? Shouldn’t you have made a corridor out of here yet? Or were you hoping for another rematch?”

He narrowed his eyes, but didn’t say anything else.

“Vanitas, you know we’re giving you a second chance, right?” said Ven. “You should take it. It could give you something else to live for.”

“The only thing I have to live for is watching you all suffer,” he spat. “You can keep your second chance.”

“Then why did you grab my hand?” Aqua asked. “If you were so determined to die before, you could have refused my help, but you didn’t.”

He clenched his fist. “You would have dragged me up anyway.”

“You’re right,” she admitted. “Do you know why?”

“Because you’re a moron.”

“Because I don’t leave people to die when there’s some way I can help them. Especially that place. And while you may act tough, I could see you slipping. You would have died, and I can’t have that sort of death on my conscience.”

“Ah, so it was because of your stupid hero complex,” he muttered. “You never even asked what I wanted.”

“I did give you a choice. And since you were the one to reach for my hand, I know which one you picked.”

His eyes flashed in anger, the only warning before he summoned his Keyblade. Everyone else did the same, leaving them all to stare at each other in stalemate.

“Shut up,” he growled, raising his Keyblade. “Stop it. Stop talking like you see through me! I can’t stand it!”

“I saw your face when I offered. Both times,” said Aqua, taking a step forward. Her Keyblade hung at her side, her stance relaxed. “No one’s ever given you a chance like this, have they?”

“Shut up.”

“But you’re right. I can’t quite forgive everything you’ve done. I know what sort of person you are. And if you refuse to take this to better yourself, there’s no helping it.”

He glared at her. “What are you talking about?”

“Terra, Ven,” she called out while still looking forward. “I’ll take full responsibility for this. It was my idea after all, and it was my actions that brought him here.” She stared at Vanitas, watching as he sneered at her. “Vanitas. You get a choice. Either you try to redeem yourself, try to fight for something other than the darkness.”

“Or?”

She frowned. “If I see you going back to your own ways, I’ll dispose of you myself. There won’t be any more chances.”

“I’d like to see you try-”

He didn’t get to finish before Aqua had her Keyblade pointed at his neck, her expression not changing.

“You can’t beat me in your current state. And even if you manage it, I have many friends who would do it in my place. So, I suggest you think this over.”

He gritted his teeth, as he glowered at her. She didn’t let up in her stance or expression, and only watched his face. It was still so exhausted, the earlier fights still affecting him. She had definitely damaged his pride doing all this, but she couldn’t think of another way to get through to him.

“Fine,” he muttered out after a while. He nudged her Keyblade away. “I’ll play nice. While I bide my time.”

She smirked back at him, lowering her weapon. “That’s all I ask for.”

Chapter Text

Vanitas was irritated.

That was his constant state of being since he awoke in the Realm of Darkness, only growing worse after getting ‘rescued’. His skin itched under the new clothes he was forced to wear almost as soon as he arrived. They were loaned from Ventus, and he wanted to set them on fire the moment they were offered. His dark suit wasn’t good enough for them apparently, so he was stuck in a plain black shirt and pants, both slightly too small for him.

Someone coughed at him as he tugged at the sleeves again. He looked over to see Terra staring at him, as intensely as ever. That numbskull had been glaring at him since they got back, and it was starting to get on his last nerve.

“What do you want?” Vanitas growled at him.

“Just keeping an eye on you,” he spoke. “You were yanking at those clothes so hard I was worried you were gonna tear them off. Not exactly a sight I want to see.”

Vanitas dropped his hands and gaped at him.

“Huh?” he cried out. “Don’t be stupid. As if I’d show myself off to you!”

He had the audacity to grin at that. “Well then, the feeling’s mutual. So why don’t you try sitting still for once instead of squirming around so much.”

Hearing him talk like that was only making him more annoyed.

“Why don’t you make me?” He went to lunge at the idiot, but a tug on his shoulder stopped him in his tracks. Ventus was standing behind him, having moved there to hold him back. Vanitas tore himself away as soon as he realised. His lesser half even had the gall to look shocked, but that didn’t last long.

“Guys, can you knock it off?” said Ventus. He still looked pathetic even when he tried to be mad. “We still have to wait for Aqua to finish up, and she told us not to fight!”

Vanitas let out a laugh. “You really listen to everything she says, don’t you?”

Neither of them said anything, but he could feel their glares intensify. He imagined they were also tired of standing in the courtyard of their dull world, waiting for Aqua to finish giving her report to one of those old Masters. Vanitas remembered her hesitating beforehand, but it wasn’t his fault that she wouldn’t listen to him. He tried to warn her that bringing back a dangerous enemy with them would have consequences, and now she would have to pay the price. Just imagining her being torn down for a mistake like that brought a smile to his face. He only wished he could see it in person.

“What are you so happy about?” Terra muttered, his arms crossed. “I hope you realise the situation you’re in.”

“Oh yeah, I get it,” Vanitas scoffed, turning towards the brute. “I’m your prisoner because Aqua had to feed her ego.”

“Watch it.”

“Guys!” Ventus shouted again, trying to insert himself between them. “Look, fighting like this won’t get us anywhere. We all need to try and get along.”

“Ha, you’re delusional,” Vanitas said with a laugh. “I would kill you all given the chance.”

“Then do it,” Terra goaded him. “Oh wait, that’s right. You can’t. You already proved as much.”

Vanitas stared him down. “Don’t test me, you moron. I can think of plenty of ways to eliminate you.”

“Enough!” came a voice from a top the stairs. The boys all spun around to see Aqua coming down from the castle, and she did not look happy. She, like all of them, still wore signs of exhaustion from that fight in the Realm of Darkness, yet she still carried herself like a true Master. Or at least that’s what Vanitas would think if he didn’t know any better. All she was doing right now was conveying the illusion of strength.

The other two almost looked guilty under her gaze, but Vanitas couldn’t care less. He was just glad someone other than him would get reprimanded. Still, he couldn’t help himself.

“Well, if it isn’t Master Aqua,” he taunted, stepping forward as if to greet her. “Did you have fun getting scolded by someone above you?”

She stopped to shoot a dirty look at Vanitas before continuing toward the others, ignoring him. Whatever she was trying, it didn’t work. That look she gave him only filled him with delight.

The other two stood at attention as she spoke to them. “Master Yen Sid agrees that the best course of action was to escape,” she began. “We already lost Sora, and we don’t need to lose three more wielders as well.”

“But what if he’s still down there?” asked Terra. “We need to get back as soon as we can.”

“I asked him about that,” she continued. “It’s actually been a few weeks since we left here. But in all that time, no one else has had any luck in finding him. Even so, with a Heartless like that, we’d better make sure we’re prepared before going down there again.”

Vanitas couldn’t resist. They were all talking nonsense.

“You know, you all better pray I’m right, or there’s no hope for Sora. If that thing was scary enough to make the three of you run away, that idiot would have been devoured long ago.” He grinned while he imagined it. “Just think, if only you’d listen to me, you wouldn’t even have this dilemma.”

All of them turned to Vanitas, all of them glaring at him with different levels of contempt. It was nice to see some things hadn’t changed.

“That brings me back to you,” spoke Aqua, finally talking to him directly. “Master Yen Sid had his doubts, but he’s willing to change his mind about you.”

“Why would I care what some washed-up old Master thinks of me?”

“You’re lucky he didn’t order me to eliminate you immediately,” Aqua spat back. “And now, the other wielders know you’re back too, meaning they’re all prepared to hunt you down if you try anything. So, don’t make us go to the trouble.”

“But they won’t have to,” Terra spoke up. “The three of us are more than enough to deal with you.”

Vanitas resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He knew he wouldn’t go down easy, but they could think that if it helped them sleep at night.

“We have rules,” Aqua went on. “You won’t be allowed to leave the castle grounds under any circumstances. And one of us will keep watch over you at all times, so don’t think you’ll have any chance to sneak off.”

He wanted to laugh again. This was all so stupid.

“I thought you were all supposed to be looking for Sora,” Vanitas pointed out. “Yet, because of your brainless actions, you’re all stuck babysitting me. Well done, Master Aqua.”

“Stop that!” she snapped. He must have been wearing her down from the way she was starting to lose her cool. “I won’t regret rescuing you back then. But I also won’t regret disposing of you if need be.”

Vanitas scoffed at her, feeling his sleeves tug at his skin as he pulled away from her. They really were making normal movement difficult.

“We can get you some new clothes too if those don’t fit you so well.”

He looked back at her as she spoke, almost wondering if he misheard her. It was leagues away from what they’d just been talking about.

“I was fine with my dark suit,” he muttered.

“That thing was all torn up. And besides, you can’t wear something of darkness if we’re trying to reform you.”

“Reform me?”

They had said a lot of ridiculous things, but that might have been on top of the list. It was too much to even laugh at.

“Well, we can try,” she continued, paying no attention to the bewildered look on his face. “And a good place to start is getting you something better to wear.”

“That’s stupid. I never had the need for other clothes.”

“But things are different now,” Ventus spoke up. “And who knows, you might find regular clothes a lot more comfortable too.”

He balked at his lesser half. “As long as they’re not yours.”

“We can manage that,” said Aqua. “I’ll even take your input if you’re ready to take it seriously.”

“How generous. And? Is there anything else?”

Aqua frowned at his tone. He could only wonder why she was so surprised. “We’re all going to be living together,” she continued. “So, let’s all try and get along. It will make things easier on all of us.”

Vanitas looked at each of the people standing around him. Terra’s expression hadn’t changed from that glare he had since the beginning, but Ventus’ had gained an irritating edge of hope. Like he expected him to call them all his best friends and laugh together. He couldn’t be that naïve.

And Aqua, she was a weird mix of the two. She still had this disapproving glare, but like Ventus, it was like some part of her hoped he’d agree. That was what annoyed him the most; she should really know better.

“Well,” He smiled at them. “I’m not known for making things easy.”

With that, he pushed past the group, aiming towards the path down the mountain. He needed to get away from them for now, and the sooner he did that the better.

“Where do you think you’re going?” he heard Aqua shout at him from where she stood.

He turned back briefly, with no intention of stopping. “I’m not leaving the grounds,” he called back. “So why don’t you relax, Master Aqua.”

The others were yelling at him, but he didn’t care. Soon, he was far enough away that their voices faded. Where he was, only the wind could be heard beating down the mountain path.

What an empty world. A long time ago, he remembered coming here with Master Xehanort, who let him run loose so long as no one spotted him. He roamed the place enough that he could find his way around, even now. Just up ahead would be the training grounds overlooking a valley, where those idiots would beat up gold rings as practice. He scoffed at them.

Rings don’t fight back. How stupid.

Ignoring them, he kept walking onwards toward the summit. This space was much more useful for training he thought, the area wide enough for any kind of battle. The only sore spot was a grave at the edge overlooking the cliff, probably for that Master of theirs. The flowers on it had wilted, no one watching over it while they were off parading around the Realm of Darkness. It was a sad sight to see, and it raised his spirits immensely.

But for now, he needed to focus. It was the first time he’d really been alone, heck, even since reforming. After looking back to make sure no one was following, he closed his eyes. Then, he called to the darkness within him. That feeling was still there, just far weaker than what he remembered. He poured all his concentration into it, and stretched his hand out in front of him.

Even so, no corridor would open for him.

As if it’d be that easy. The first thing he tried when he appeared in the Realm of Darkness, was to open a dark corridor. If he couldn’t do it there, it made sense that he couldn’t do it here.

His fist shook, only pitiful wisps of darkness seeping out. Now, he was annoyed. If he couldn’t do something as simple as opening a corridor, then the only way off this dull world was alongside one of the wielders that kept him there. And they wouldn’t be doing that any time soon.

A quick way out was a no go, but there were still other things he could try. His irritation clamoured at his heart, ready for release.

But something made him pause. Summoning Unversed had been as easy as breathing at one point, but something felt wrong when he focused on that emotion. Still, it might give him the edge he needed in this place. Again, making sure no one was watching, he called to that feeling of irritation.

His heart clenched from the sheer force of it, but out emerged a tiny Flood, somehow more pathetic looking than usual. He stared at the creature, watching as it gained its bearings. It wobbled on its feet, its tiny head flicking around. The thing looked just as out of place as he felt.

Then without warning, it charged at him. Vanitas swore as he dodged to the side, the creature’s claws barely missing him. He summoned his Keyblade in reflex, but even that didn’t seem to deter the it. Before it could try again, Vanitas slashed his weapon downwards, eliminating the creature in one strike.

In that moment, pain tore through his chest, so sharp it brought him to his knees. It was like a hot blade had pierced through his heart without a shred of mercy, nearly leaving him writhing on the ground. He tried not to cry out as he bit back that feeling of agony, gasping in breaths to stop himself from throwing up.

The pain was a terrible, yet familiar one. Only amplified.

After what felt like an eternity, it finally started to lift. His heart was still throbbing, but the level of pain grew more tolerable. What truly brought him torment was the shame in what that Unversed had done.

“Am I really so weak that even my own creations turn on me?” he muttered to no one in particular. Even hearing his own voice so ravaged like that was a mockery to his being.

He knew his current state was far from preferable, but was he really in such a pathetic condition? It wasn’t just the Unversed or the corridors he struggled with. Even his Keyblade had taken a while to come back to him, and it was pure luck that it came back when it did. Aqua was right when she thought he couldn’t summon it, but he would never admit that to her.

Still, the thought was comforting in a way. His Keyblade had come back to him, even after he had been unable to use it. It stands to reason that soon his other powers would return. All he needed was to build his strength.

Slowly, he pulled himself back up to his feet. Kneeling on the ground wouldn’t achieve anything. He used his Keyblade to help him stand while gazing near the path he came from. Vanitas wasn’t sure what excuse he’d give if any of them saw him on the ground like that.

He froze. Something caught the corner of his eye as he looked towards the cliff face.

It disappeared behind a pillar as soon as his eyes locked onto it. To his relief, the thing was far too small to be one of the wielders, and almost looked like a sort of animal. Only Vanitas didn’t remember any animals like that living here from the last time he surveyed the place. He pulled his Keyblade from the ground and stepped towards it, but it was like it had vanished. It might have just scurried off, but there was nowhere for it to hide up here. Whatever it was, it was strange. He would describe it as more of a stuffed toy than an animal, but those didn’t usually run around as far as he knew.

Before he could investigate further, he felt another presence coming up the mountain. This one, he’d know from miles away.

Ventus.

Vanitas groaned. He hoped he wasn’t here to try and convince him some more that they should all be friends or something. There was only so much of that he could take. Stepping back towards the centre of the area, Vanitas waited for him to show up at the path’s entrance, but he seemed to be keeping his distance for some reason. He remained just out of sight, like some irritating shadow. Like he thought he didn’t even need to be in his vicinity to watch over him. Vanitas wanted to yell out that he knew he was there, but that might encourage conversation.

When he thought back, he did remember them saying something about keeping an eye on him at all times. Would that mean he’d have one of them trailing after him forever? Did they really have nothing better to do? At that moment, he wanted nothing more than to punish his lesser half for thinking he could possibly spy on him. But with his form the way it was, he was more likely just to embarrass himself.

He needed his strength back. Everything else would have to wait. Even joining back up with Ventus was unfeasible at the moment, as he was certain he would just dissolve into his light. He’d rather die than live on in that moron’s body with him calling the shots.

Doing his best to ignore Ventus, Vanitas gripped his Keyblade and began doing some practice swings. It was a pathetic way to train, but it suited him for now. It would be nice to have an actual opponent, but the way he was, his pride would suffer if he met defeat too quickly again. Like back in the Realm of Darkness.

Vanitas gritted his teeth at the memory. Aqua had acted so smug when she stared him down, he couldn’t stand it. The way she stared at him like he was nothing, like she completely forgot all the times he had her on the edge of death.

He swung his Keyblade down, picturing Aqua was in front of him. Only this time, she was the one on her knees, struggling to keep him back. Eventually, she would lose grip of her Keyblade, letting it dissolve away. All while his points towards her head. Just like last time.

Only he isn’t her. He would finish the job.

His Keyblade slammed into the ground as he visualised it. One day, that wouldn’t be just fantasy. Her friends would get in the way, but he imagined he would take them out first. Making her watch. It’s what she deserved for humiliating him like that.

It was what came after that he had trouble picturing. Every Keybearer, Master or not, would come for him. He didn’t dare imagine being able to take out all of them, but he would make sure he’d take down as many as he could. If his path lead to death anyway, he’d do his best to cause as much chaos as possible.

He grinned at the thought of having his revenge, his heart bubbling with the hatred he felt towards them all. There was the familiar feeling of an Unversed forming, but held it back. The last thing he wanted was someone, especially Ventus, see him struggle against his own creation. Or even help him. If the Realm of Darkness hadn’t crushed his pride already, that certainly would.

Like that, his mood shifted to irritation again. Wanting some outlet, he yanked his Keyblade from the ground and tossed it away from him as far as possible. It flew all the way over the edge of the cliff before vanishing and appearing back in his hand. At least he could still rely on the weapon to come to him, but it didn’t do much to soothe his frustration.

He could have sworn he felt Ventus move closer, but something stopped him before he could get to him. Whatever it was, Vanitas was glad. He was the last person he wanted to talk to right now, not that he’d want to on a good day. He wasn’t enjoying the feeling of being watched either, especially now. Maybe it was worth trying to find somewhere hidden on this world, even if he was sure any hiding spots would be discovered quickly.

Regardless, there was no point standing in the middle of the training ground anymore. He had barely trained, but he was already bored with it. Vanitas dismissed his Keyblade, before stepping back towards the mountain path, already sensing Ventus moving out of the way. If he tried anything, Vanitas would just ignore him. Unless it was something that really got on his nerves.

But Ventus made no attempts to approach him, even though Vanitas could feel him still following him. At this point, it was almost more annoying than having him just run up to him and start talking. He had to have known that he’d never been hidden from him the entire time they were up there.

It took him walking all the way to the castle courtyard before the moron went away. Vanitas should have been relieved, but that probably meant Terra or Aqua were right behind those doors. Maybe there was no point delaying the inevitable, as he was sure one or both of them would confront him eventually. Grumbling to himself, he pushed the doors open, revealing the dimly lit hall inside. No one was in the hallway as far as he saw, but he could hear sounds coming from above. Someone must have had the same idea as him and decided to use this time to train. He moved to ascend the staircase, hearing the swoosh of magic being cast. From that alone, he had a pretty good idea of who was up there.

Sure enough, he saw her as he neared the end of the staircase. Aqua stood in the centre of the room with her Keyblade raised, in the middle of some sort of target practice. She shot spells at random balls of light as they floated around, bouncing harmlessly. He held back a groan. Rings, balls, every method of training they had seemed duller than the last.

He made sure to hide himself behind one of the banisters so she wouldn’t notice him, but kept his eyes glued on her as she moved around. Even though her opponent was orbs, she seemed to be putting her all into it. She practically glided around the room, manoeuvring her body so she would always have a clear shot at the target. Every spell was precise, every subtle movement served a purpose. One after another, the orbs would vanish in a burst of light, only for more to take their place. Vanitas could only watch. He hadn’t really been able to see her fight anyone aside from him this close, so it was fascinating to see how she did things. But he needed to keep as still as possible so he wouldn’t reveal his presence. If he ever wanted to gain the upper hand, he would have to study how she fought, and there was no way she would just let him do that.

She paused in her step, looking ready to summon another spell. Vanitas held his breath as he watched to see what she would do next. Every movement until now had been fluid, like some complex dance only she knew the steps to. If she paused to concentrate like that, something spectacular must be coming. At that thought, he stopped and chided himself. He was supposed to be observing her, not getting mesmerised. He needed to focus on what she was doing, or he’d never learn a thing.

What he hadn’t expected was for her to spin towards him, launching a ball of light in his direction. He leapt back instinctively as it struck the wall beside his head, and almost tripped down the stairs in his haste. The thing was so close to hitting him he was sure it singed his hair. After tugging at the strands to check them, he looked back up at Aqua who stared him down from across the room.

He narrowed his eyes. “You know, if you want to kill me, I at least expect you not to take cheat shots.”

“How long were you standing there?” she asked him, her face blank. The way she remained so composed irritated him for some reason.

“I just got here. Don’t flatter yourself.”

She frowned at that. Good, she was reacting to something again. But it was short lived, as she soon collected herself again.

“Well, I’m glad you decided to come back,” she said, dismissing her Keyblade. “I was worried I’d have to drag you back from somewhere.”

There was no point trying to hide anymore, so he stepped towards her, keeping several feet between them. He saw her guard go up as he approached, but she wouldn’t summon her weapon again. He wasn’t sure whether to be offended or not.

“Believe me,” he spoke. “I wouldn’t be here if I had any other choice.”

“I know. So, you better get used to things.”

She walked over to the remaining balls of light floating in the corner of the room, and dismissed them with a wave of her hand. Vanitas let out a laugh.

“I’m so glad you managed to vanquish the almighty light balls of doom and chaos. We’d all be in trouble if those things got loose.”

“Do you ever shut up?” she said, snapping her head towards him. Ah, there was that animosity again. He could only laugh at it.

“Hey, you were the one who brought me here. It’s on you.”

She took in a sharp breath, like she was doing all she could to remain calm.

“Alright,” she began. “So, do you want something? Say whatever you want, I know you were there too long to have just gotten there.”

That caught him off guard a little bit. There’s no way he’d been there that long. But he couldn’t let her faze him like that.

“There’s plenty of things I want, Aqua,” he said, smirking. “But nothing you’re willing to give me.”

There was that frown again, but it was brushed aside as quick as it came.

“Try me,” she said. “As long as it’s something reasonable, we’ll do what we can to make you comfortable here.”

He wanted to laugh again. She couldn’t be serious.

“You’re so hospitable,” he told her. “In that case, why don’t you tell your pathetic friends not to follow me around so much. I only just lost Ventus after he stalked me around the entire mountain.”

“That was part of the deal, Vanitas,” she said. “One of us has to watch you at all times. If it’s not one of them, it’ll be me.”

“What an incredible waste of time. Don’t you have a hero to save?” Vanitas took a pause. “Oh wait, that’s right. You have no idea where he is. Shouldn’t you be off looking in that case?”

Her fist clenched. “We hadn’t finished searching the Realm of Darkness before we ran into that Heartless. And you. And there was still more you haven’t told us about that.”

“I already said I don’t know how to defeat it.”

“Then, why was it after you? Can you explain that?”

She spoke like she already knew something. It was just like back then. She thought she knew everything.

“I don’t know what you mean,” he said, his voice warning her to drop it.

“Come on, Vanitas. I’m not stupid.” She stepped closer, like it was some attempt to intimidate him. “I can make a guess. I know they go after the darkness in people, and I’m sure they thought you were easy pickings from how feeble you were back then.”

“You’re still going on about that?” he snapped. “You don’t know anything about the state I was in!”

“Would you give it a rest?” she shouted, trying to match his tone. “What matters is we saved you from them, and now, you get a chance to actually live your life.”

“Stuck here, you mean? Some life.”

“It’s not so bad,” she insisted, shrugging her shoulders. “I spent years here before I was allowed to go to other worlds.”

“Well that’s great for you. This place reeks of light, you probably fit right in.”

“You might too. Just give it a chance. It’ll make things easier on yourself.”

“And if I don’t, it’ll make it harder on you.”

She frowned again. “Not necessarily. Remember, I can just take you out.”

As she spoke, he summoned his Keyblade almost on reflex. Her eyes widened, but soon a sadness filled them. Not that he cared.

“Alright, then do it. Like I told you to,” he told her, watching her sadness shift to a sort of annoyance.

“This again?” She rolled her eyes. “You may talk all suicidal, but your actions say something different.”

He blinked at her. “Huh? What are you talking about now?”

She circled him, but he wouldn’t let her out of his sight. She hadn’t even summoned her weapon yet; what was she planning to do?

“If you really wanted to die, you would have found a way by now.”

There she went again, talking like she knew him.

“Maybe I want to take you with me.”

That got her to stop in her tracks. But she wasn’t intimidated at all, and only stared at him.

“Then you’ll have to get stronger.”

Stronger. He hated it, but she was saying something he knew already. As he was, he didn’t stand a chance. But it wouldn’t be that way forever, he would make sure of it.

“Fine,” he spoke through clenched teeth. His grip on the handle tightened. “Then I’ll get stronger. Strong enough to beat you.”

“Glad to hear it.” And with that, she finally summoned her own Keyblade. Vanitas eyed it, something in his chest jumping. It wasn’t fear, more like anticipation.

“What’s this? You’re finally gonna fight me?”

“Not a fight,” she said, as she started circling him again. “Think of it as training. I want to see how strong you really are, now that you’re all rested.”

“Really?” he smirked. “Careful, Aqua. I might be stronger than you realise.”

“I had no problems defeating you back then. Why would I now?”

“No problems?” He had to laugh. “From what I remember, I almost took your life several times.”

“Almost.”

“Right here!” he exclaimed, spreading out his arms, his Keyblade striking at nothing. “Don’t you remember? If your idiot friends hadn’t interfered, you would be dead by my hand.”

She took a moment to think. “Well, I was much like you that time. Weak from the Realm of Darkness.”

“Come on, that’s an excuse. It wasn’t the first time Ventus had to save you from me either.”

“Even so, what makes you think you stand a chance now? As you are, I could fight you blindfolded.”

This level of confidence was something else. He would be annoyed if it came from anyone else, but from her, it almost felt like she had the skills to back it up.

He was grinning now. “Oh? Wanna test that?”

Without another word, he charged for her. She prepared herself like she was expecting a frontal assault, but she should know better. He was really aiming for the space behind her. As long as he was quick enough, he would surely get a strike in. When he reached her vicinity, he teleported behind her, readying his weapon.

“Too-”

“-slow?”

Before he could even land a hit, she swivelled around to exactly where he’d be, parrying his blade with her own. She was grinning, as if she was proud of herself for guessing what he’d been about to say.

“You always go for the sneak attack,” she said, pushing down. He squeezed the handle of his Keyblade, trying to match the strength she displayed.

“So what? You think you can read me?”

“I do,” she said without hesitating. “I’ve fought you enough times to know how you move.”

“Is that right?” Now, a smile came to his face. She must have seen it from the way he felt her falter. He would definitely catch her off guard this time. There was one thing he hadn’t tried in any of their fights.

He turned his face down so she wouldn’t see his expression, and focused. Even so, she realised far too quickly that he was no longer in front of her. She spun around to parry his blow from above, but that wasn’t even close to the end of it. He leapt away from her and hit the ground in a kneeling position, looking as if he were ready to dart away.

Instead, he began gathering darkness around his body. It was a strain, but he could at least do that much. Aqua watched him with a guarded look on her face, but he could see the cracks of anxiety forming. He shot one last grin before the darkness covered his head, and dismissed his Keyblade while making a show of it. He wouldn’t need it for this.

Then, he charged right for her, his body nearly dissolving into shadow. His heart screamed at him from the pressure, but he ignored it. The way her eyes widened in shock made it all worth it. She readied her blade, but there was no point to it. In the moment he was within striking distance, he vanished below the ground, leaving not a trace behind. He could imagine her eyes darting around, trying to figure out where he’d appear.

But she couldn’t have expected him to appear right behind her again, not after a show like that. The pool of darkness he emerged from was close enough to almost suck her in. He shot out of that blackness, the darkness retreating from his body in an instant. His body was exposed and his strength had started to flee, but it wasn’t over. Time slowed down as he reached an arm towards her. He brushed his bare hand against the small of her back, lighter than he wanted, but she still jolted under his touch.

Got you.

Before he could fully celebrate, there was a sudden pressure in his abdomen. Then, he was flying away from her, before hitting the floor hard. His body rolled a few times before finally landing on his stomach, and he heaved from the force of it. Doing what he could to ignore the pain, he pulled his head up to look at her. One of her legs was extended outward, and there was a seething look on her face.

“What even was that move?” she hissed at him. “What were you even trying to do?”

He rolled over onto his back, his entire body aching. The kick was impressive, but it wasn’t what was causing him pain. What really wrecked him was dissolving into darkness like that, especially after the Unversed fiasco earlier. But it was worth it to see the look on her face. Like anger, but different. He wanted to laugh, harder than he had since he got there, but no air would come from his compressed lungs.

Aqua let out a frustrated groan, that look turning back into anger.

“What’s wrong with you?” she asked, growing more exasperated. “That move took so much out of you. I didn’t even kick you that hard, and you’re lying there wheezing.”

“Doesn’t… matter,” he spoke as he tried to sit up. He turned his eyes towards her, smirking through the pain. “I… touched you, didn’t I? If I… can do that… I can defeat you.”

She looked away from his gaze. “You think being able to touch me is the same as being able to kill me? You’d be stupid to even attempt something like that.”

“Still… I caught you off guard, didn’t I?”

“Just don’t do that again. I mean it. You’re not supposed to fade into darkness, remember?”

“But it worked… didn’t it?”

She groaned again, cradling her head like she had a headache. He really had gotten to her that time. Despite his battered body, he felt like he succeeded in a way.

Then, Aqua started to move closer, Vanitas watching as she did. He was in no shape to try and move away, but he was curious about what she’d do. When she stopped in front of him, he opened his mouth to say something, but then he felt the pain start to leave his body. His head jolted upwards to see Aqua casting some light over him with her Keyblade.

“There,” she said as the light faded. Vanitas felt some of his strength start to return. “I didn’t expect to have to save you from yourself again so soon.”

He gaped at her. “Did you just heal me?”

“Yes, I did. You’re not going to complain about that, are you?”

Vanitas grumbled, before rising to his feet. “I thought I said I don’t want pity. You’re not supposed to heal your enemies.”

“We’re not enemies anymore, Vanitas!” she shouted. “You don’t have to keep fighting this. Listen, you wanna be stronger? Then I’ll help you.”

Now she was talking complete nonsense.

“Huh?” he exclaimed, jumping away expecting a trick. “Why? Don’t you know it’s over for all of you as soon as I get my strength back?”

“I don’t believe that. Besides, it’s not like you stood a chance against us back in your prime either.”

His eyes darkened. “And I thought you said you didn’t wanna fight.”

She raised her Keyblade. “The best way to get stronger is to practice. Properly. I’ll start off going easy on you, as long as you promise not to do that again.”

He watched her for a moment, before summoning his Keyblade again. There was no way she was serious about this. “What makes you think I want you to go easy?”

“It’s the only chance you have.”

That pride was something else. He smirked. “When did you get so full of yourself?”

“Maybe you’re rubbing off on me.”

That got him to laugh. “Oh, is that so? Careful, Aqua. You don’t wanna take after me too much.”

She held her Keyblade out to him. “Okay, how about this. Why don’t you try and disarm me? If you manage that, I’ll stop going easy on you.”

“Really? I’m gonna hold you to that.”

“Don’t worry. I tend to keep my word.”

He gave her one last smirk before charging, their Keyblade’s clanging together once more. But even though Vanitas was pushing back with all he could, Aqua almost looked bored. Their difference in strength couldn’t have been that much. Vanitas was getting annoyed again.

“Is that all?” she asked nonchalantly, like she wasn’t in the middle of a fight. “Did you need to rest up a bit more first?”

“Shut up,” he muttered, taking another swing at her, only to have it blocked without effort. He blamed those sleeves for limiting his movement.

“You know, you used to be a lot faster,” she mused. “Maybe we should get Ven to help train you.”

He swung his Keyblade down with all his strength. Still not enough, she barely even jolted. He glared at her.

“I am not training with Ventus.”

“What about Terra? Strength training is more his thing anyway.”

Vanitas didn’t even want to picture it.

“Ugh, pass.”

“So then, what makes me so special?”

He froze up at her question, his Keyblade almost slipping before he regained control. It was a good question, one he even asked himself. Out of all the idiots there, why did he want to train with Aqua over the others?

Because she was clearly the most skilled out of the three? That made sense, but that didn’t feel like the whole answer. Just thinking about it was starting to irritate him. He looked up at her and he could see her staring at him, waiting for an answer.

“Vanitas?”

His eyes drifted away as he thought it over. What did she even want him to say?

“You were always my more interesting fights,” he admitted, still locking blades with her. “You may not look it, but you can be completely ruthless. I’d love to defeat you one day, and to do that, learning how you fight just makes sense to me.”

She hadn’t responded for a while. Vanitas looked up at her again, and was surprised to see a conflicted look on her face. She seemed peeved, yet part of her also seemed flattered. It was a weird mix.

“Oh,” she spoke. “So that’s why you were watching me earlier.”

He glared at her. “I already told you I wasn’t. There you go getting full of yourself again.”

There was a strange expression on her face again. Only this time, Vanitas could get a closer look. Anger, but her face had reddened in an interesting way, bringing out the shape of her cheeks. After a certain point, she wouldn’t meet his eyes either, and he didn’t really know what to make of it.

“You won’t defeat me anytime soon,” she muttered, pushing against him again. He pushed down harder in response.

“It’ll happen. And yet, you’re helping me. I thought you were supposed to be the smart one.”

“While it’s great you have something to shoot towards, maybe we should start with something more realistic.”

He pulled back his Keyblade to slam it against her again, her words making him laugh. She looked at him in surprise.

“Look at you so full of yourself, Master Aqua! That kinda arrogance will get you killed one day.”

She almost smiled at that, and it made him question his own eyes. What’s wrong with her?

“Then I’ll have to be careful.”

With that, she moved her Keyblade in an arc, using it to dislodge Vanitas’ Keyblade from his hand. It flew across the room before clanging to the ground, while he could only watch.

“Wanna try again?” she asked, tossing her blade in a flourish. “Or would you like to rest some more?”

He summoned his Keyblade again without hesitating.

“What do you think?”

They clashed several more times, Vanitas not letting up. Even as he felt his limbs start to ache again, he wouldn’t let himself be defeated so easily.

Eventually Aqua was the one who stopped, dismissing her Keyblade before he could take another swing.

“That’s enough for today,” she said, looking over him. “You look like you’re about to collapse again.”

“No way,” he said, lifting his weapon. “I can keep going.”

She paid him no mind, turning her head towards a window to watch the orange rays of dusk seeping in.

“It’s getting late anyway,” she said, turning back to Vanitas. “We can’t keep training forever. I need to rest too.”

Clicking his tongue, he dismissed his Keyblade. He turned her, expecting them to start heading out, but she kept staring at him with her hand on her chin. Now, she had glared at him a lot today, but this felt different, like she was thinking of something.

“What?”

“You know, we should really get you some clothes that fit you better. It might help you out a lot.”

He blinked at her, not quite expecting that. She mentioned it earlier, but he tugged at his sleeves again, wondering if it was that noticeable.

“Oh yeah? And where would I get something like that?”

“I can probably whip something together. I’m actually pretty good with a needle and thread.”

Now that was really unexpected. “What? Why go to so much effort for me?”

“It helps me out too,” she said, stepping closer. “If we can get you out of Ven’s clothes and into something that suits you, who knows, maybe your mood will improve.”

“Well, don’t hold your breath.”

“That’s why I need your input. I want to make something you’ll like.”

She had gotten a lot closer. Vanitas could only stare at her again, but the way she was acting was really throwing him off. They were just fighting, and now this.

“You know what I like. My dark suit.”

“Well, maybe we can use the same colours. I got a lot of different fabrics so it shouldn’t be a problem.”

He couldn’t take it any more and turned away from her. There was a really weird look in her eye, almost like earnestness.

“Do what you want,” he said, wanting the conversation to end. “As long as I don’t have to wear this much longer.”

“I’d better get started then.”

Without another word, she walked past him, heading towards one of the side exits. But he realised he wasn’t done with her yet. He spun around and took a step towards her.

“Hey!” he called out. She turned back to him, perplexed. “This fight isn’t over yet. I expect you to fight me again tomorrow, and don’t hold back this time.”

To his surprise, she covered her mouth and started laughing. It wasn’t a sinister one like his by any means, it was more joyful, like she heard a joke. The sound ran around his head without his permission, and he didn’t know if that irritated him or not.

“Alright,” she said, a shadow of a smile on her face. “I’ll try not to hold back so much.”

There she went acting weird again. What was she smiling like that for?

“Good,” he muttered, turning away from her. He didn’t want to look at her right now, not when she’s like this. He waited until he heard the door shut before moving again, not realising he’d frozen in place. He ran a hand through his hair, trying to collect his thoughts.

Something was definitely wrong with her. They argue, they fight, then she tries to help him?

“There’s no way you forgot everything already,” he muttered to himself.

She was actually helping him? Saving him from the brink of death was one thing, but this was all stupid stuff. She’d waste her own time doing something only so he’d be more comfortable. So he’d get stronger. What a moron.

And what really threw him was the faces she made during the fight. She did her best to stay composed, but after only a little prodding, a whole assortment of emotions would come out. He didn’t even have a name for most of them. It was a lot of fun at first, seeing the different ways her anger would come out, but then it just got stranger.

Then she laughed at the end. Like she was enjoying herself. Ridiculous.

His hand found its way to his face, and he smiled against it. “You really are a strange one, Aqua.”

Chapter Text

Vanitas could feel Ventus gaping at him the moment he stepped outside the castle. Far too late to try and ignore him, he groaned and began to descend the staircase. His head pounded just seeing the way Ventus’ eyes lit up, and it only got worse as his lesser half ran over to him with a stupid grin on his face. Vanitas shot a glare at him and spoke before he could even open his mouth.

“What do you want, idiot?”

Better he got it out of the way. Ventus’ smile dropped a fraction, but he recovered it quickly.

“Nice outfit,” he said. “It’s suits you.”

Vanitas balked, now regretting his decision to wear the thing. It had only been about a week since arriving when he awoke to a box at his door, this outfit inside it. Aqua probably didn’t want to risk giving it in person, and he didn’t blame her. He wanted to hate the thing, but true to her word, she kept as many of his preferences as possible. It was a long sleeveless coat which went past his waist, coloured a deep red with black accents. He had developed a vendetta against sleeves after wearing Ventus’ shirts, and he remembered making it clear to Aqua that he wasn’t in any rush to go back. The rest of the outfit was fairly plain; a dark V-neck shirt, with black and grey pants and a pair of matching boots. He was actually pretty surprised by the whole thing, expecting something more bottom of the barrel even after his input.

He only wished Ventus wasn’t the first person he ran into after putting it on.

“Anything’s better than the garbage you wear,” he told him.

Ventus frowned at him. “You know, you don’t have to keep insulting me. Doesn’t it get tiring?”

“Not at all. It’s basically my only entertainment here anyway.”

“That’s not true,” he claimed, shaking his head. “There’s a lot of stuff to do around here. For instance, me and Terra usually spend the time practicing. That’s pretty fun.”

“And Aqua?” The words slipped out of Vanitas’ mouth before he could stop them. He wished he could rewind time so he didn’t have to see that surprised look Ventus wore.

“Her too,” Ventus said quickly. “But it’s hard to keep up with her sometimes now she’s a Master. Neither of us are as good at magic as she is, so I think she likes to practice that by herself.”

Vanitas huffed, part of him glad Ventus wasn’t questioning him about his slip up. “That explains why you’re both terrible.”

“Hey, I’m not too bad,” he said, his frown returning. “I remember giving you a hard time back when we fought.”

Ventus could believe that if he wanted, but they still weren’t anywhere near Aqua’s level. He didn’t want to give her any praise, but it made all too much sense to him that she was a Master while the others weren’t.

“Whatever.” Vanitas was getting a headache again. Seemed that even after several days of being here, Ventus didn’t get any less irritating to be around. He went to walk past him again, hoping to get to the mountain path, but then Ventus began trailing after him.

“Wait, Vanitas! I wanted to ask you about something.”

Vanitas stopped in his tracks, weighing his options. If he ignored him and kept walking, Ventus would probably only yell some more. He really wished he could just knock him over the edge of the cliff, but he doubted the others would take kindly to that.

“What do you want now?” he grumbled, turning back to the boy. “Are you going to follow me around again?”

Ventus blinked at him. “Again? Oh, you mean that first day.”

“Of course I do. I knew you were there the whole time, idiot. I’m not as stupid as you.”

“Hey, it’s not my rule,” he protested, rubbing the back of his head. “But anyway, I seriously wanted to talk to you.”

Vanitas narrowed his eyes. “Then make it quick. You’re annoying me.”

It was like Ventus hadn’t expected him to hear him out. He seemed apprehensive for a moment, but soon he began to speak.

“I’ve noticed you training with Aqua a lot lately.”

Hearing her name felt like being struck. Of course, it just had to come back to her.

“I thought it was weird, so I asked her about it,” Ventus continued. “She told me that she was helping you regain your strength or something.”

“So what?” he spoke. “Will you get to the point?”

His words seemed to bristle him, but he kept going. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but she seems to be putting in a lot of effort to help you. She even made you those clothes, didn’t she?”

Vanitas tugged on the lapel of his coat without thinking. Now, he was really starting to regret wearing it.

“Look,” he muttered. “I’ve told her again and again how stupid she’s being in trying to help me. I don’t know what she’s thinking either, so don’t ask me.”

He didn’t know how he would respond, but he hadn’t expected a glare like that. Ventus had never looked so stern, not even when they fought one another.

“Alright, but let me tell you something,” Ventus spoke, his voice as serious as it would allow. “For some reason, she really wants to try and help you. And if you turn around and throw that back in her face, then I won’t forgive you. You’ve done a lot of awful things, but I think that would be the worst of them all.”

Seeing his other half grow upset like that made something in Vanitas leap in delight.

“What’s this? Are you threatening me?” he taunted. “Didn’t think you had the guts. And besides, I think I’ve made myself very clear that I have no intention of going along with whatever she’s trying to do. Aqua’s the one dumb enough to help me, whatever happens will be on her.”

“Enough, Vanitas!” Ventus was yelling now, but it only amused Vanitas more. He tried, but it was like watching a toddler throw a tantrum. “We’ve already put everything behind us, why can’t you?”

That made him laugh. “Are you kidding? You all humiliated me. And believe me, as soon as I get my strength back, you’re all gonna pay.”

“You really are going to throw everything back in Aqua’s face?” Ventus yelled, pointing at him. “Look at those clothes! She made them for you!”

Vanitas glared at him. Whatever amusement he was getting from this was quickly fading. That idiot was starting to get on his last nerve.

“She did that herself. I didn’t ask her to.”

“But you’re wearing them. And I know you like them.”

He wanted to laugh again. “What? You’re delusional. I’m only wearing them because I got no other choice, since my dark suit is clearly not an option for you people.”

“I don’t buy that! If that’s true, then why were you so happy this morning?”

Now he really was talking nonsense. Vanitas blinked at him, wondering where that even came from.

“What are you talking about now? Were you following me again?”

He smiled. “Ah, so you admit it.”

“Like hell I do.”

Ventus opened his mouth to say something else, but then they heard the door to the castle start to open. Vanitas looked over and almost swore. Speak of the devil, Aqua herself appeared, holding something like a basket in her hands. Seeing her appear so suddenly made Vanitas feel almost self-conscious, like part of him was worried she had overheard.

He stopped himself at the thought. Overheard what?

Aqua stalled when she saw them standing in the courtyard. Vanitas hoped his eyes were deceiving him, but he could see a faint smile on her face even from where he stood. He would like to think it was because her idiot friend was there, but she wasn’t looking at Ventus. No, her gaze remained on Vanitas far longer than he would have liked, leaving part of him bewildered. It couldn’t have been him she was smiling at, but then he remembered what he was wearing, and the realisation was like a shock to his system. He tugged at the side of his coat again, really regretting the decision to wear it.

But then her smile faltered, probably as she read the mood around her.

“You guys aren’t fighting, are you?” she asked as descended the stairs. She stopped in front of the two of them, her eyes still hovering over Vanitas. His skin was starting to prickle.

“What?” he snapped at her on reflex.

“You’re wearing it.” That smile was on her face again, barely noticeable, but there. “Does it fit okay?”

Vanitas had to look away from her. The way she looked at him was starting to mess with his head. Like she hadn’t done enough of that in their training sessions already. It seemed that every session got harder and harder to get through without her pulling something like this.

“It’ll do,” he muttered, not really wanting Aqua to have to poke and prod him again. He wanted to forget that afternoon where she sat him down to take his measurements. That was a nightmare. He was pricked way more times than necessary, and he almost summoned his Keyblade one time when she got too close without him realising. Then she would tell him to stay still, and he’d have to listen or get pricked again. And she was so focused the entire time that nothing he said would even rile her up. He wanted to call the whole thing a waste of time, but he wasn’t exactly upset with the results. Not that he’d tell her that.

“I’m glad,” said Aqua, and while Vanitas heard her, he still wouldn’t look at her. She would definitely still have that stupid smile on her face. But it wasn’t long before something else grabbed his attention. That basket she was carrying. There was a mouth-watering smell coming from it.

“That smells really good,” Ventus spoke up, having noticed it too. “What is it?”

“Oh, I just thought I’d whip something up,” she said, removing the cloth from the basket. Vanitas looked back now and saw the treats she was carrying. The basket was piled high with muffins from the look of it, steam still rolling off them. As he gaped at them, Aqua held the basket out to Ventus, who grabbed one of the treats. Vanitas could practically feel the smile beaming off him, and while he tried to will himself to be annoyed, the smell of those muffins was making it hard to do so.

Just when he thought he finally got control of himself, Aqua offered the basket him. That action sent even more of that delicious smell catapulting in his direction. His stomach started to growl.

“Take one,” she said. “Relax, I haven’t poisoned them or anything.”

The quip was so unexpected it made Vanitas laugh, alleviating the tension. He pulled his eyes away from the basket to look up at her, grinning.

“I figured as much, or you wouldn’t have let Ventus go first.”

At that, she let out a laugh herself. Vanitas was caught off guard by it and had to look away again, but it did nothing to lessen the sound. He hadn’t heard her laugh very much, but every time she did, that noise would bounce around his head with him unable to escape it. If he had to describe it, he would say the sound was like the ringing of bells; airy and bright. Too bright. Her usual light shone with an intensity that made him antsy, but this felt different. It made something in his heart clench, like it sensed that light probing it somehow. He wouldn’t be surprised if that was her plan all along, to use her light to slowly burrow her way inside.

But none of that mattered right now; those muffins smelt too good. He grabbed a muffin from the basket, bringing it up to his mouth. When the treat reached his lips, he almost dropped his composure entirely. It was easily one of the most delicious things he’d ever tasted. Before he could stop himself, he shoved the entire muffin in his mouth, savouring as much of the flavour as he could. It was warm and sweet, with bits of some kind of fruit inside. He chewed a few times before swallowing, and his hand automatically reached for the basket again. He caught Aqua gaping at him, but it didn’t stop him.

“Well, I guess you liked it,” she said, taken aback. “I don’t even think I’ve seen Ven eat that fast.”

Vanitas was already biting into the second muffin, not even really listening to her anymore. He’d probably chastise himself later for this moment of weakness, but for now he couldn’t care less. After swallowing the last of the muffin, he wiped off the crumbs on his mouth with the side of his arm. With the treat gone, his senses started to return. He cautiously looked back up at Aqua, who still stared at him and seemed more surprised than anything.

“I was worried you’d choke for a moment there,” she spoke, nearly chuckling. “I can’t believe you liked them so much.”

The smile she wore was too bright. Too genuine. It was searing itself into his eyes, and he imagined he would still see it even if he closed them.

“They’re fine,” he got out, having to look away. “Make them sweeter next time.”

“Oh yeah, that reminds me,” Ventus spoke up, grabbing another muffin for himself. “Didn’t some of your Unversed used to drop ice cream ingredients?”

Vanitas snapped his head up to glare at him, but then Aqua clapped her hands together.

“That’s right!” she exclaimed. “I remember that. I always thought that was strange. They were always so well hidden too.”

“They’re based on your emotions, right?” Ventus continued, talking between bites. “I mean ‘ice-cream craving’ doesn’t sound like your typical emotion, but it’s one I’ve definitely felt before.”

This might have been the most ridiculous conversation they’ve had thus far.

“Don’t be stupid,” Vanitas balked. “They’re like all the others, based off my negative emotions.”

“Ah, so it’s more like that feeling when you want dessert but know you probably shouldn’t?”

Vanitas wanted to smack him, but then he heard Aqua start to laugh. It was that same sound as before, but knowing it was at his expense made more irritating to hear.

“Would you both shut up,” Vanitas snapped. “What, do you think this is funny?”

At that, Aqua stopped laughing, but she still wore a smile.

“Sorry, we’re not making fun of you. I promise.”

Vanitas didn’t want to believe her, but that smile was too genuine. She really needed to stop that.

“Good,” he muttered. “I wouldn’t recommend it.”

“Oh, hey,” she spoke up, as if thinking of something. “I’m always open to baking suggestions, you know. I’m just glad to have someone else here who enjoys sweets.”

“I said they were fine, don’t go getting a big head about it.”

He would have expected her to frown like before, but she shook her head instead.

“Sorry, but your actions speak louder than words in this case.” She was grinning at him, like she thought she won something. Somehow, that messed with him more than her more genuine smiles. “How about this,” she continued. “If your attitude keeps improving, there might be more muffins in your future.”

Vanitas raised an eyebrow. “Are you bribing me?”

“Oh, it’s working? And here I thought you said they were ‘just fine’.”

He clicked his tongue. He really needed to be more careful about what he said.

“Anyway, I’d better head off,” she told them. “It’s not fair if Terra misses out.”

“You know he’s weird about sweets, Aqua,” said Ventus.

“I know,” she said, pulling out something from the bottom of the basket, wrapped in paper. “That’s why I also made those bars he likes.”

“You’ll have to tell him he’s outnumbered again,” Ventus grinned, making Aqua laugh.

But a sort of fury began settling in Vanitas’ heart. He couldn’t believe she went out of her way to cater specifically for that idiot. What sort of moron didn’t like sweets? Especially ones that good. He shouldn’t get anything. Picturing that idiot rejecting any of those sweets left Vanitas with the sudden urge to kill him.

Vanitas clenched his fist and tried to calm himself. But as he was stewing, he caught Ventus looking at him strangely.

“Okay, I’ll see you later,” said Aqua, bringing Vanitas’ attention back to her. “I’ll be in the main hall later if you wanted to train, Vanitas.”

He scoffed. “Do what you like.” This conversation had really soured his mood. The lingering taste of the muffins turned bitter in his mouth.

Aqua’s smile faltered, like she finally caught on to his displeasure. But she said nothing else as she headed towards the mountain path. He should have been happy that she finally dropped that irritating smile, but it only annoyed him more. Despite what he was feeling, his eyes remained glued on her form until it disappeared down the path.

“So, um…” Ventus spoke up, almost startling him. That’s right, he was still here.

Vanitas snarled at him. “What is it now?” He really wasn’t in the mood to deal with this anymore. If Ventus had a shred of self-preservation, he should have sensed that.

“Hey, remember how I was gonna say something before?” he asked. “I think you’re fighting yourself too much.”

“Would you quit with the riddles and say what you mean?”

“I am,” he said, his hand coming up to rest on his chest. “Listen, I wasn’t really sure until now, but since you’ve been back, I think I’ve started to sense some of what you’re feeling.”

Vanitas froze, horror starting to creep in. “Don’t be stupid.”

That’s impossible. He shouldn’t be able to sense anything. He’s lying.

“It’s true!” Ventus went on. “Just now, I felt something again. Back when Aqua showed up with the muffins.”

“You’re not still going on about that, are you?” he yelled. “What, are you trying to get me to admit I liked them? Because that’s not happening.”

“It isn’t just that, Vanitas,” he insisted, still pushing on. “I don’t even have to sense anything; I saw how you were when she showed up. And then later on too.”

He was delusional. Either that, or he was trying to get under his skin. He hadn’t expected Ventus of all people to be so devious.

“What are you even talking about?”

“You were jealous before, weren’t you?” he said, looking at him all smug. “When she mentioned making something for Terra.”

Jealous? Of that numbskull? The thought was so ridiculous it should have made him laugh, but it only made him angrier.

“That is by far the dumbest thing you’ve ever said to me,” he sneered. “What, are you so bored you’ve started inventing things in your head?”

“Alright, don’t believe me,” Ventus continued. “But you don’t have to be so stubborn. If you’re happy whenever Aqua’s around-”

“Woah, where did that come from?” Vanitas blurted out, taking a step back. He couldn’t be that dense. “Look, even if you think you’re right about sensing my emotions, you’re definitely reading it wrong. And if you thought I seemed happier; you could explain it away with that slightly above average baking.”

“Wow,” he grinned, planting his hands behind his head. “You must have really liked them. You might as well have said they were the best thing you’ve ever eaten.”

Vanitas wanted to pull his hair out. “That’s it, I can’t stand to be around you any longer. Why don’t you tell your delusions to someone who cares!”

With that, Vanitas turned and stormed back towards the castle, ready to seal himself away somewhere where no one would bother him.

“Vanitas!” Ventus called out. “It’s okay to like things, you know!”

“Would you shut up already!” Before Ventus could get another word in, Vanitas disappeared into the castle, slamming the door shut behind him. For now, he was alone. Ventus would probably go after him, but for his sake, Vanitas hoped he had more brains than that. He didn’t want to waste any time, so he began heading for his room, his thoughts in a spiral.

What was that idiot even saying? Could he really sense his emotions now? Vanitas remembered long ago being able to sense what Ventus was feeling. It was a pain in the neck at times, but for some reason, since he’d been back he hadn’t been able to feel a thing coming from his other half. Even so, he never could have imagined the tables turning like this. If he was telling the truth, it was going to be a problem. But even if he was, there was no way that idiot was reading them correctly.

He said he was feeling jealous. Now, that was an emotion he was intimately familiar with, but never for such a stupid reason. And Ventus had accused him of being jealous all because Aqua had done something specifically for Terra. His mind drifted to Aqua giving those treats to him, smiling in that way that drove him insane, and he wanted to throw up.

Instead, he punched the wall beside him. The sting in his knuckles helped to ground him a little.

What even was that? Why did that thought make him feel like garbage? He must have gotten soft, that was the only explanation. He needed to rebuild his strength and fast, or else he’ll turn into a pile of goo who thinks only about friendship and other junk like that. And he knew better than anyone that there was more than enough of those in the worlds.

Clenching his fist, he tried to rein in his thoughts. Ventus was being stupid. There was another training session with Aqua that afternoon. He would go and prove he was wrong, that he couldn’t care less about Aqua or what she was trying to do. Vanitas would use her for all she’s worth before throwing her away, like he intended from the beginning. A new outfit and a few muffins wouldn’t change that.

He forced the image into his mind again. Him triumphing over them. Aqua at his feet. Him rising his Keyblade above her head. It wouldn’t take much for him to force it downwards, to finally finish what he started.

But his something in his mind stalled. He couldn’t help but think back to all the times they had been in that situation already, where she had been at his mercy, only for him to fail to deliver the final blow. It was far too many times more than he was comfortable with. Even their first training session, he could have finished the job then and there if desired it. All he had to do was summon his Keyblade again and she was done for. He touched her after all, and despite what she said, that meant she was open in that instance.

Maybe it’s because he wanted to fight her for real. Taking a cheap shot against her wouldn’t sit well with him. As long as she knew he always had that option, it was enough. But he wasn’t about to ruin it by being impatient. Fighting her had always been enjoyable to him, and though he even admitted as much to her, she seemed taken aback. Still, he felt it was obvious. She commanded such incredible grace and power; anyone would want her as an opponent. But that’s all she was. An opponent. A rival at best maybe. One day, he would defeat her, and he’d have to get over himself.

He nearly walked into his bedroom door, having arrived without knowing. If there was one thing he was grateful for, it was that he didn’t have to share a room with anyone while he was staying there. He was sure he would have murdered his unfortunate roommate by now, with or without his powers. Opening the door, he spotted the remains of the box on his bed, where he tossed it aside after pulling out the outfit. He stared at it, his thoughts returning to the idiotic things Ventus was spouting. Without thinking, he swept the box of the bed, throwing it across the room. It was only when it thudded to the ground that he noticed a piece of paper taped along the inside.

Curious, he went over to it and pulled it off the box. It was a small card, neat writing covering one side.

I hope this is to your liking. I know things have been strange for you since returning, but I hope you can see we’re all trying to do what’s best for you. If you decide to wear this, at least I’ll know that you’ve taken another step. I’ll do what I can to help you readjust, so long as you try on your end as well.

-Aqua

Vanitas scrunched up the note. She couldn’t really be that stupid. As he tossed it over to the remains of the box, a horrifying thought came to him. Maybe that’s why she was so happy; she thought he’d turned over a new leaf by putting on her stupid outfit. But she must have known he had no other choice. He imagined what her face would have been like if he just showed up in his dark suit again, tears and all. If she was this earnest about the whole thing, that might have really offended her.

Even though he wanted to try that now, he wasn’t really in a rush to put the suit back on. He would have to repair it for starters, and he was enjoying the breeze on his arms for once. But he wasn’t about to tell her that. She had been way too happy when he just put it on, and the last thing he wanted was for her to smile like that again.

He threw himself onto the bed, groaning. It was like any time he thought he could relax, the thought of her came crawling into his head again. Ventus’ words swam around there too, making Vanitas want to slam his head against a wall.

He spent more time in his room than he realised, and before long it was late afternoon. Time to train. Time to show them how wrong they had been.

When he arrived at the main hall, he saw Aqua standing in the middle doing stretches, her body turned away from him. Her arms were raised above her head, pulling tightly to stretch her back out. He crept over, close enough to see the outline of her flexing shoulder blades, but then she spun around, dropping her hands entirely.

“Oh, you’re early. You startled me,” she said, raising her hand to her chest.

Vanitas watched as she got closer. She was doing a good job hiding it, but she seemed a little out of breath, like she’d already been training without him. He glared at her.

“I hope you’re not telling me to go.”

She shook her head. “No, that’s fine. It means we might get more practice in.”

He let out a short laugh. “You sure you wanna be giving me extra training?”

“Of course. The more practice you get, the better.”

“You mean the closer I get to destroying you all.”

She frowned. “Still talking about that? I thought we were finally starting to move past it.”

He summoned his Keyblade. “Well, you were wrong. Let’s go!”

After one last sad look, one that almost made his heart twinge against his will, she summoned her Keyblade.

“You still haven’t disarmed me yet. But who knows, you might have an easier time today.”

He charged at her, their blades clanging together.

“Easier? You’d better hope that’s not the case.”

But when he looked up to gauge her reaction, he caught her smiling.

“I knew it. You’re a lot faster today. You must be having a better time moving around.”

She was doing it again. He jumped away from her, far enough that he couldn’t see her face anymore.

“You know what,” he yelled out. “I’ll give you that. But don’t think I’m grateful or anything. I have no patience for idiots who handicap themselves by helping their opponents.”

“Handicap?” she asked, tilting her head. “If anything, I’m evening the playing field.”

He held out his weapon in front of him. “Well, if you think we’re so evenly matched, then come at me!”

She didn’t say anything in response. Instead, she charged for him, her blade shoving into his with him barely being able to hold her back. He pushed against her with all he could, but she kept holding strong. When he glanced at her face, he was at least thankful that she had a more serious expression this time. Her brows were furrowed, her lips pressed tightly together. He noticed how she started to bite her bottom lip, and part of him was happy at even that small sign of struggle.

But when he started to let out a laugh, her eyes snapped onto his. Bright blue bored into him, as deep as the ocean. He never had much reason to pay attention to them before, so he didn’t realise just how much those eyes could draw him in. Whatever remnants of his laugher died in his throat as he watched her blink, long eyelashes brushing against her cheek for the briefest moment. Her mouth was now parted, drawing his attention further down. But then something shifted in her eyes, bringing his focus back to them. She was staring at him with something like concern, her head tilting again.

“Is something wrong?”

Vanitas didn’t know how to respond to that, so he gave one last push before jumping away from her. His heart was pounding as he landed, even though they’d only just started training. While he tried to recover, she stood in the same spot, looking at him in confusion. One of her hands reached up to brush a strand of hair behind her ear, and Vanitas found himself following the movement against his will.

He sucked in a breath, forcing himself to look away. “It’s nothing,” he muttered.

“Are you sure?” she asked. “If something’s bothering you, you can tell me.”

“You know what’s bothering me?” he began, his irritation starting to boil over. “Everyone asking questions. First Ventus won’t leave me alone, and now you.”

He heard her step closer, but she stopped before she got anywhere near him.

“I know it’s hard,” she spoke. “But we’re all trying to help however we can.”

“Yeah, I read your stupid note.”

She sighed. “Well, at least you read it. I probably shouldn’t expect too much too soon.”

“Or at all,” he said, snapping his head towards her again. That was a mistake, she was still looking at him with those big blue eyes.

He couldn’t take it anymore. Dismissing his Keyblade, he turned for the exit.

“Vanitas?” he heard her call out. “Where are you going?”

“I don’t feel like training anymore.” That’s all he said before he reached the door, slamming it shut behind him. He briefly wondered if she would follow, but then he remembered he’s not supposed to care.

Never mind her, there was something wrong with him. Even after he left, he could still see her in front of him as they clashed. He could still see her biting her lip, her head tilting slightly towards him. Her bright blue eyes trained on his.

He rubbed his hand against his face as if trying to wipe away the memory seared into his brain. What even was that? His heart thudded again, even though he’d barely done anything strenuous.

Ventus’ words popped into his head once again, making his mood worse. He couldn’t believe he let that idiot get to him like this. But it made something else come to mind. A memory from long ago surfaced, one from back when he first lured Ventus out of this world. He recalled the boy feeling something for one of the girls he found on his journey, the one who had her heart stolen by Terra if he remembered correctly. He had even dropped in to see what the fuss was about, only to see a plain old narcoleptic princess. But Ventus had thought she was beautiful.

Vanitas now realised that was the true measure of his other half’s stupidity. He thought some random girl was pretty, when he had spent several years living with her.

He remembered when he met her officially back in Radiant Garden. It wasn’t the first time he had seen her, but it was the first time he could get close enough to really look at her. He remembered that fierce expression she wore as she gave him the challenge he craved, as her Keyblade met with his. To him, that was true beauty. The clashing of blades. The toying with each other. Opposing ideals being measured against one another.

But now when he thought back to those fights, he found himself focusing on the wrong things. Those cartwheels she used as she moved around the battlefield. The way her breath laboured when he pushed her to the brink. The way her eyes burned when she stared him down.

He shook his head, trying to rationalise things. She was the only worthy opponent for him, so of course he’d develop a sort of respect, even though he hated the idea. But it was still better than the alternative.

Ventus flashed through his mind again. He was wrong about everything. Especially now. He was only ‘happy’ when Aqua was around when they fought, and that was still in the loosest sense of the word. But on the other hand, he could at least admit he wasn’t as blind as Ventus was. Out of all the people he had met, she was probably the one he could stand being around the most. Not that it was saying much. And even if he disregarded the combat, he could at least admit she was fairly easy on the eyes. It might have been one of her deadlier powers, seeing as even Vanitas was losing focus because of it.

Yes, that’s what she was doing. She was trying to throw him off his goal with those eyes, those legs…

He groaned. His mind was screaming at him and he couldn’t take it anymore. It gave him one last image of Aqua before his willpower began to crumble. He had to admit that much at least, or his mind would probably tear itself apart.

She was without a doubt the most beautiful person he had ever seen. No one, not any princess, could even compare.

The thought left him feeling disgusted with himself, but his mind wouldn’t stop wandering. He supposed it was only natural that spending time with a woman like that would leave him thinking this way, but he couldn’t imagine why Ventus never picked up the same view of her.

Maybe because he had never been on the end of her blade in a serious fight. That’s all. Vanitas was just mixing his desire to fight her with his desire to…

His mind stopped short. There was one negative emotion he hadn’t felt very often, but he knew exactly what it was. It was oddly calming, knowing he could chalk up this whole fiasco to his very nature. He let his mind wander to test the waters, picturing Aqua in front of him again. She was on her knees, out of breath, but he yanked himself out of that thought before it could go much farther. His heart throbbed, and he briefly wondered what sort of Unversed would pop out if he let it. It was a strange feeling, having lust towards a person instead of power, and he didn’t really know what to do with it.

But that’s all it was. He wanted to clash with her, wring her dry until she was no longer useful to him. Maybe he even wanted to use her in some other way. But he didn’t picture her being upset at that. Instead, what came to mind was an image of that smile.

It was a problem. He needed to get over it quickly, or his true desires would never be fulfilled. Without wasting any time, he entered his room, and locked the door behind him. He needed to sort out his mind before interacting with anyone again.

His brooding was interrupted a few hours later by a knock at the door. The sun had long since set, leaving Vanitas tempted to ignore whoever it was. But the knocking continued, not letting up in the slightest. Groaning, he got off the bed and threw the door open, ready to shout at whoever it was.

But he was caught off guard. As if the day couldn’t get any stranger, Terra of all people stood there. Vanitas snarled at him.

“What do you want?”

Terra at least seemed to sense his hostility, even though he didn’t seem too bothered by it. His arms were crossed as he stared down at Vanitas, his expression not even faltering.

“Aqua’s calling all of us to a meeting, you included.”

His glared at the brute. “So why are you here?”

“Aqua would have come herself, but she seems to think she’s offended you for some reason,” Terra said, raising an eyebrow. “I don’t suppose anything happened in training today that might make her think that?”

Vanitas clenched his fist, before pushing past him. He moved quite easily despite his size and stature, making Vanitas think he hadn’t even tried to stop him.

“Well?” he asked again as Vanitas reached the hallway. He stopped in his tracks, suddenly tempted to slash Terra across his dumb face.

“None of your business!” he yelled out instead, before continuing onwards. “And if you ask again, you might not live long enough to make it to the meeting.”

Just when he thought he’d escaped, Terra called out to him.

“They’re in the main hall.”

Nothing? The idiot hadn’t responded to the threat at all. It was like everything he did only made Vanitas despise him more.

“Would you shut up! I know where they are!”

Vanitas didn’t even care what the meeting would be about, he just wanted to get it over with. Leaving Terra in the dust, he sprinted for the main hall, before pushing the door open. Aqua and Ventus were already there, talking with each other. Seeing Aqua again brought all his earlier thoughts back, and he did all he could to crush them before they fully formed. Both she and Ventus looked up at him as he arrived, but he wouldn’t meet either of them in the eye. He could only imagine whatever smug look his other half wore.

“I’m glad you made it,” he heard Aqua say. “I wanted the four of us to discuss something.”

“The four of us?” Vanitas scoffed. “Don’t make it sound like we’re a team.”

Aqua didn’t reply to that. Before anything else could be said, Terra entered the room behind him. Funnily enough, he was the one person Vanitas could stand to look at right then. Even if the idiot wasn’t threatened by him, at least Vanitas could count on not getting smiled at. He even caught the way he glared at him now, making him wonder if he’d overheard what he’d said.

“Alright,” Aqua spoke up, trying to continue. “Now that we’re all here, let’s get started.”

Vanitas heard her pull something out, and when he cautiously looked over, he saw her holding one of those Gummi Phones. He didn’t really understand the purpose of those things. Until now, he had dark portals in the rare instance he ever wanted to see someone. Now they only seemed even more pointless.

“I’ve been sending information about that Heartless to those over in Radiant Garden,” she said, pressing a few buttons. The way she held it made Vanitas think she wasn’t used to it either. “There’s still a lot we don’t know, but hopefully they can piece things together, so we can determine how to beat it.”

That was something Vanitas didn’t expect at all.

“Are you serious?” he blurted out “You want to go back?”

Aqua turned to look at him, and that was his cue to look away. She wouldn’t catch him off guard like that again.

“As I said before,” she continued. He heard her putting the device away. “We’ve barely even scratched the surface. The truth is, no one is any closer to locating Sora, and I can’t stand the thought of standing around doing nothing when he could still be out there.”

“So you think those guys can work out a plan?” asked Terra. “That’s great, but what do we do in the meantime.”

“I think it would help if we go there in person and tell them what we saw. And who knows, there may be some other way we can be of assistance while we’re over there.”

“I wouldn’t mind going,” spoke up Ventus, sounding way too cheerful. “I’d love to see those guys again.”

“Guys, we’re forgetting something,” said Terra. He didn’t even need to specify; they all knew what he meant. Vanitas could practically feel them all turning to stare at him again.

“I didn’t forget,” said Aqua. “I told Master Yen Sid I’d keep him in this world until he shows signs of improving.”

“Hey, why don’t you start talking like I’m right in front of you?” Vanitas growled at them. Having them talk like he wasn’t there was getting on his nerves.

But then she spoke again. “Sorry,” was all she said. The guilt in her tone shook something inside him, making part of him want to scream at her.

What’s wrong with you? Why are you sorry for me?

“But it’s a problem,” Terra continued, glaring at him in warning. “We can’t take you out of this world with you still acting hostile. So, one of us will go while the others stay behind to watch you.”

“No,” Aqua spoke up, shaking her head. “You and Ven should go. I’ll stay here with him.”

Vanitas thought he had misheard, but he wasn’t the only one. Everyone shouted, all taken aback by what she said. But it reminded him of something. Back in the Realm of Darkness. Something similar had happened there. It only convinced him completely that she didn’t remember a single thing. Vanitas felt his blood start to boil.

“Wait, Aqua,” Terra said, the first person to speak. “You shouldn’t be alone with him.”

“I’ll be fine, Terra. He hasn’t hurt me yet.”

“Would you cut that out!”

His yell took everyone by surprise. They all spun around to stare at him, but it wasn’t even close to a concern to him in moment. Now he was really pissed off.

“Vanitas?” Aqua began, her eyes wide. “Wha-”

“I’ve had enough of you all talking around me! You’re all acting like I’m some stray mutt you picked up off the side of the road! I’m not some pet! I almost destroyed all of you! Why won’t you act like it?”

“Vanitas-”

“And you!” he shouted, spinning towards Aqua. She looked so guilty in that moment, but he was too upset to care. “What the hell is wrong with you? You’re the worst of them all! Why did you even bring me back if it was gonna inconvenience you so much? I didn’t ask to be your ball and chain!”

Aqua turned away. Now she was the one who wouldn’t look at him.

“You miserable piece of garbage!” Terra shouted. Seems like it was his turn to yell. He yanked on Vanitas’ shoulder, pulling him away from the group. “In case you forgot, she saved your life!”

Vanitas jerked himself away, before shooting a look of pure venom at Terra.

“Shut up! She doesn’t need you to defend her!”

She didn’t need that, especially from him. Was Vanitas the only one who saw that?

“Enough already!” Ventus yelled, doing his best to jump between them. “We’re not here to fight! We’re here to talk about what we’ll do next!”

“Well, I’m sure you three idiots have got that covered!” Vanitas shouted, sprinting for the exit. “I’m going! And anyone who comes after me gets a fireball to the face!”

“Vanitas!” Ventus yelled out, but there was no point. Vanitas had run to the side door, slamming it shut behind him as hard as he could.

He needed to blow off steam after that disaster. They bothered to call him to a meeting and then had the nerve to talk like he wasn’t even there. And then there was Aqua.

Now he knew he was being ridiculous earlier. Hearing her talk like that irritated him more than anything else. It was to the point that he couldn’t take it anymore. And she had the nerve to look so guilty.

He didn’t feel like returning to his room, dreading one of them coming after him. But if he wanted to go outside, he’d have to pass through the main hall again, and that was out of the question. So, he wound up in the first room that was open, some random unused space, hoping no one would try looking for him there. He didn’t bother locking the door, a pointless endeavour in a castle full of Keyblade wielders. Instead, he sat on a chair facing the door and pointed his weapon outwards. If one came, he was ready. His heart still bubbled with rage. He’d show them how dangerous he really was. He’d show her.

When he heard someone at the door, he didn’t even think. He jumped upright and launched a ball of flame right at the door as it opened. There was the sound of someone summoning their own Keyblade, but nothing could be seen through the smoke.

“I warned you, didn’t I?” he yelled out, readying another fireball. “You only have yourself to blame!”

“Freeze.”

That voice spoke calmly, a contrast to the sudden wave of frost that crossed the room, rushing in his direction. Before he could move out of the way, a block of ice encased him almost entirely, leaving only his head free. He tried desperately to wrench himself free, but the ice was far too solid. He ground his teeth together, part of him hoping the sheer force of his rage would be enough to melt his icy prison. Giving up for now, he glared at the doorway as the smoke and frost cleared. Aqua herself was standing there, completely unscathed.

“You’re right, you did warn me,” she spoke, stepping into the room. She still had the nerve to look at him so sadly. “Which is why I won’t count this as an act of aggression.”

He let out a laugh. It was all he could do.

“There you go with that again,” he taunted. “Doesn’t deluding yourself like that get old?”

“You’re the one deluding yourself.” She stood in right in front of him, but he did all he could not to look at her. He wasn’t interested in whatever pitiful face she wore.

“Me? I’m the only one with a lick of sense around here.” He tried pulling at his arms again, but they were still as trapped as the rest of him. “Now, do you mind unfreezing me before I really start to get mad?”

“Will you attack me again?”

“No promises.”

“Then the ice stays.”

He gritted his teeth. “Come on, I know you think you can take me all by yourself. Why else would you volunteer to stay behind while everyone else goes off to Radiant Garden?”

She didn’t say anything for a while, so that prompted Vanitas to look at her. He grimaced seeing her expression hadn’t changed.

“Listen,” she began. “I worry I might have been too pushy with everything. You only just came back, so I understand you not being on board with everything right away. I think it was a mistake to force you into all this.”

He glared at her. She couldn’t be saying what he thought she was.

“What, so you finally admit bringing me back was a mistake?”

To his surprise, she shook her head. “No, I don’t think that. I believe it was fate that we found you in the Realm of Darkness. There must have been a reason you survived long enough for us to bring you back.”

“So what? Are you telling me you believe in fate?”

“Yes,” she said without hesitating. “I believe there’s a chance that you might be the key to finding Sora somehow. I mean, when we were off searching for him, we found you instead. That has to mean something.”

“Don’t be stupid. It had nothing to do with him. Now,” His teeth were chattering, but he mustered a death glare towards Aqua. “Unfreeze me.”

She stared at him for a moment before shutting her eyes. Vanitas was about to ask what she was doing, but then she complied. He felt the ice dissolve away from him, with warmth returning to his body in its stead. Aqua must have been casting a fire spell of her own to speed up the process.

Soon enough, he was free. He flexed his hands, easing the aches from his limbs. Aqua was watching him the whole time, he knew that.

“We still have to go to Radiant Garden,” she continued. “And at least one of us needs to stay behind with you. If you like, I’ll let you pick who it is. I shouldn’t have volunteered myself like that.”

He wanted to laugh at her, but he had another idea. After testing his grip once more, he spun towards Aqua, and grabbed one of her straps in his fist. He pulled at it, trying to bring her down to his level. If this didn’t show her, what will? One of her hands rose up to meet his in response, which only encouraged him.

“What’s wrong?” he spoke, forcing a sinister grin to his face. “Regretting your choices already?”

She froze up, but didn’t react in any other way. Just as Vanitas went to taunt her again, her hand started to tug at his. Looking at her face, he was annoyed to see her expression hadn’t changed much. He wanted her to get angry, fight him off, react in some way other than sadness. But that’s all she would give him. She didn’t even seem surprised.

Her hand was still over his, and he could feel her still pulling at it. But it wasn’t the only thing pulling at him. Her eyes pierced into his again, and he was suddenly thrown back to their earlier training session. When had he gotten so close to her? He tore his eyes from hers, but that only led them to her lips. Watching them made some unknown urge begin to surface, but he yanked himself away from her before it could be realised.

“Vanitas?” Even she seemed confused. He pulled himself far enough away that he felt he was no longer surrounded by her presence.

“Do what you want?” he told her, refusing to look at her again. “I don’t care if you go or not.”

She didn’t say anything for a moment, and Vanitas was glad. He wished she could forget what just happened. The instant he tried to intimidate her, he almost lost control of himself again. Right now, he had to do what he could to keep himself calm. She couldn’t know about his inner turmoil.

But he couldn’t help himself. He turned back to her and did his best to study her expression. Part of him was relieved when he saw she wasn’t looking at him, as he was sure that would make him chicken out again. If he could give a name to the face she wore, he would say it was conflicted. Getting any sort of reaction aside from sadness should have been satisfying, but it hadn’t felt that way at all. Her hand was over her chest, near where he grabbed her, and she looked as if she were deep in thought. But her expression betrayed nothing else. She was far too stoic. He would have loved to know what she was thinking, but part of him was too scared of ever finding out.

Soon, the inevitable happened and she glanced over, catching his eyes once more. When he saw her eyes widen just slightly when she caught him staring, he felt something like a lump form in his throat. It brought an aching in his chest along with it, his mouth suddenly going dry. Swallowing did nothing to alleviate it. It really was a curse.

He scoffed, before looking away again. But even that didn’t help. Her presence, her light, was all around him.

“Vanitas.” Her voice rang through his head. He wished she would stop.

“What?” he groaned, not able to get out much else. He could only hope she hadn’t picked up on how weak he felt.

“I do get it, you know,” she spoke, sounding strangely melancholic. “If you’d rather not have me stay behind, I understand.”

He spun around. Now it was his turn to be confused. Part of him wondered why she would even think that, but then he remembered how he yelled at her earlier. She might have even taken what happened before as the threat it was supposed to be. That should have pleased him, but he could hardly believe she let it get to her this much.

“Are you talking about before?” he asked. “Do you wanna know why I was mad at you? It’s like what you said before. You’re being too pushy.”

“I know.”

He grimaced at the sudden admission. She wasn’t even fighting it.

“And you seem to keep forgetting exactly who you’re dealing with,” he continued, trying not to let it get to him. “I don’t care that I’m weaker now, you’ve been acting like nothing I did matters anymore.”

“Because it doesn’t,” she said, with such conviction that he almost bought it. “If I believe that you’ll never change your ways, then that’s exactly what will happen.”

“But why do you care?” he snapped at her. “At least I’d get if Ventus wanted to get along with his other half, but what does any of this have to do with you?”

She stalled at that, like she didn’t have an answer. Vanitas glared at her.

“I’m not some stray for you to take care of,” he continued. “I’m a being of darkness. Stop acting like you can corrupt me with your light.”

“Corrupt you?” she asked. She acted confused by that, but he knew better.

“I know what you’ve been doing,” he went on. “The training, these clothes, those sweets, all you’ve been doing is trying to worm your way into my heart. But it’s not gonna work.”

She blinked at him, like she was trying to process what he was saying. But he wouldn’t fall for it. She must have thought she was so clever, but he was on to her. There was no way she’d keep getting the better of him like this.

“You’re acting like I’ve been doing something nefarious,” she spoke, her hand rising to her chest again. “Vanitas, all I’ve been doing is showing you kindness. That’s how beings of light are. I know that must be strange to you, but you’re gonna have to used to it.”

“Don’t give me that,” he nearly spat. “You’re trying to weaken my resolve. You’re doing it right now.”

“I’m not doing anything.”

But she was. She was staring at him with those eyes again. With that face.

“Deny it all you want, at least I know the truth.”

His words seemed to finally get through to her. He could see the cracks starting to form in her expression. It was like he was finally succeeding in something.

“Well,” she spoke, her voice gaining a bitter edge. “Since you clearly don’t want me around, I’ll go to Radiant Garden. Terra and Ven can watch over you.”

“Wait.”

The word slipped out of his mouth, and it was far too late for him to do anything about it. She glared at him, and while part of him was happy at that, the other part wanted him to disappear into the void. But then her eyes narrowed, and she finally looked like she was starting to get angry. He would have called it a victory if it wasn’t by complete accident.

“What is it now?” she groaned. “Do you want me gone or not?”

“I never said that!” he yelled out. “Don’t you remember? I need to fight you so I can learn how to defeat you. How can I do that if you’re on another world?”

“So what? You plan to just fight me forever?” she spoke. Her eyes burned, teetering on the brink of rage. “That doesn’t work for me.”

“I don’t care what works for you! I intend to get all I can out of you before destroying you and everything you are!”

“But what happens after that, Vanitas? Even if you succeed, you know they’ll go after you. Do you have a plan?”

“Don’t need one,” he sneered. “Taking you out will be the last thing I do.”

Her anger evaporated, replaced by the sadness she wore earlier. That face was like a gut punch, far worse than anything she pulled before. Just when she finally reacted in a way that made sense, it was all gone.

“You’d die over this?” she asked him, her voice quieter than he would have liked. “Are you really that stubborn? How can I get you to see that you have other options now?”

“I don’t want them,” he insisted. “Nothing matters to me aside from besting you.”

“Why?”

That one-word question threw him off guard. His mind stalled.

“…I told you,” he got out. “You’re one of the best opponents I faced.”

“So, what exactly do you want from me? You want me to train you, just so you can kill me in the end? Do you really think I’ll let that happen?”

Those bright blue eyes were locked on his again, and he could feel himself getting sucked in. He rubbed at his forehead. She needed to stop that; it was making it hard to think.

Of course he knew it wouldn’t be easy, but it had to be done. But what she said before; was that all he wanted from her? To kill her? The thought now made a part of him hesitate, as unthinkable as that was.

Because death would be final. They would never clash blades again. They would never speak again. He wouldn’t get to taunt her or see any of those faces again.

But it needed to happen in the end, or else he’d have to accept her trying to corrupt him. He couldn’t let her do that. Not after everything. Even though he knew that much, his own mind wasn’t helping things.

He looked over at her again, willing himself to view her in contempt. That part should have been easy. It was like every little thing she did was coordinated to test his resolve. It had to be on purpose. Defeating him the normal way probably wasn’t satisfying to her anymore, so she resorted to psychological warfare. Making him want things he shouldn’t.

Even though she was doing all that to him, the thought of her lying dead by his hand no longer brought the joy it once did.

“Vanitas,” she spoke again. “What do you want from me?”

It was like she was reading his mind. He pulled himself away from her gaze, no longer able to fully trust himself. Leaving her standing there, he headed for the door.

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” he muttered.

He would like to know himself.

Chapter Text

Vanitas didn’t even bother going to see them off. There was no point to it. He was sure if he showed up, those two idiots would only want to lecture him. They may have even tried to threaten him, saying that Aqua better be in one piece when they returned or else. Normally, the idea that they still saw him as dangerous would have brought him joy, but just that possibility wasn’t enough to make him tolerate listening to them any longer than needed.

They were such morons.

Of course, the biggest moron of all was Aqua herself. Insisting they go off without her.

She came by his room not long after they left, only she never entered. After knocking once, she told him they were gone, turned around on her heels, and that was that. Vanitas tossed a cushion at the door in response, pleased at the thudding sound it made. She was such an idiot. If she was so determined to avoid him, she should have been the one to go instead. Only he had accidentally done his best to talk her out of it.

After tossing everything within reach to try and alleviate some of his tension, he laid in bed and stared up at the ceiling. It was weird having the castle so quiet. He did his best to avoid people most days, but there would always be some kind of noise, usually Ventus’ voice, drifting in his direction like an unwelcome smell. With how often the idiot followed him, at times it felt like having a second, more annoying shadow. Needless to say, he was enjoying the peace. At least for the first hour or so. Now, he was unspeakably bored.

There was always Aqua he could go bother, but at the thought of approaching her, all he could remember was what happened in that room. That horrendous encounter. Ever since, Aqua had barely said a word to him, or even looked at him. If only he had watched what he said, if only he had controlled himself for two seconds, then he wouldn’t be in the middle of this mess.

But if neither of them would even talk to each other, Vanitas would probably die of boredom long before he could even think of reaching his goal. Maybe even long before Terra and Ventus returned. And after everything he had already been through, it seemed like a terrible way to go out. The problem was if he and Aqua were going to interact again, one of them would have to take the first step, and there’s no way he was going to be the one to do that.

He groaned, rolling over in his bed. Night had only just fallen, but he was desperate for sleep to claim him. Then he wouldn’t have to think, at least for a little while. But lying down in the dead silence only made things worse. His mind ran at full force, taunting him for his weakness. Mocking him for his mistakes. He couldn’t get a break.

Unable to take it anymore, he jumped out of bed and stormed out of the room, barely remembering to shut the door behind him. Wandering the grounds and getting some fresh air was as good idea as any, and he was far less likely to run into any idiots tonight. Ventus always seemed to know when he had trouble sleeping and had an awful habit of following him whenever he left his room. He hated whenever he did that for obvious reasons, but the worst part was that it gave more credit to his claim that he could sense what Vanitas was feeling. But now he was worlds away, and that wouldn’t be a problem anymore. At least for a little while.

Still, he had to remember he wasn’t entirely alone in the castle. When Vanitas reached the door to the main hall, he took a moment to press his ear to the door. He doubted she would be training this late, but he could never be too careful. Confronting Aqua wasn’t something he wanted to deal with right now. After confirming there was nothing but silence on the other end, he entered the room, and soon he was pushing open the doors to the courtyard. The night air slammed into him, chillier than usual, but it didn’t bother Vanitas. He even hoped the cold would help keep his mind off things.

After walking over to the side, he pulled his legs over the wall and sat himself along the edge. The valley below him was dimmed by the night, making it seem far vaster than it was. And emptier. Even in broad daylight, it held nothing of interest, like everything else in that world. It wasn’t alleviating his boredom in any way, so it wasn’t long before Vanitas turned his gaze upwards, the glow of starlight far more captivating. He knew that was something he had in common with those three morons, even if the thought annoyed him. Back when he lived in the Badlands, sometimes the only entertainment he had was the vast sky above him, and the millions of lights it contained. He always got a shred of joy whenever one fell, and he’d spend the rest of the night picturing the world it belonged to dropping out of existence.

But then Xehanort caught him one time, yelled something about pointless distractions, and he was no longer allowed even that simple pleasure. He probably thought stargazing was too normal an activity for an abomination like him. Vanitas had even agreed and returned to using his Unversed to pass the time. Even the pain was more entertaining than nothing. But that no longer mattered; the old man was gone for good. Now, he could stare up at the stars as long as he wanted. He could watch as the worlds fell one by one if he desired. Not that it was likely to happen anytime soon. There were too many Keyblade wielders these days, so he was sure any attempt at world destruction would be foiled before it could even start. Especially if someone like Aqua was the one leading the charge.

He took in a breath, allowing the cold air filling his lungs to shock him to his senses. There he went again. Was there really no escape? She lingered in his head completely against his will, and so far, he hadn’t found a way to be rid of her. At this point, he was sure even killing her would just make it worse. For all the talk he did, he was terrified that if it ever came to that, her presence would just remain in his mind permanently, with no hope of being rid of it. Doubts circled around his head, and he was even starting to wonder if he could go through with it at all. The more time he spent here in this world, that final battle got harder to imagine. If he didn’t figure out a solution and fast, living here was going to be hell. All he had to do was find a way to get her out of his head.

The solution was easy. All he had to do was not think about her. She was nothing.

But that wasn’t true and he knew it. He even told her as much. Told her that she became his purpose.

Groaning, he swung his legs back over the edge. Even stargazing wasn’t working as a distraction. He would need to find something else to do that would actually keep him busy.

But as his feet touched the ground, he noticed something standing near the courtyard entrance. It ducked away as soon as he turned his head, but it was definitely there. Watching him. After casting a wary gaze towards it, Vanitas strolled to the centre, now trying to pretend he didn’t see it. Just so he could get in a better position. Waiting long enough to ensure its guard was lowered, he summoned his Keyblade and pointed it towards the creature’s hiding spot.

“Alright, who are you?” he called out. “I know you’re there.”

The creature in question yelped, before stumbling out from behind the pillar. Vanitas’ grip faltered at seeing the creature, and how strange it looked. It wasn’t anything resembling a Heartless, Unversed, or even a normal animal. The thing was small, grey, and awfully round looking. It wore a tiny cape of all things, along with a pouch worn across its chest. Vanitas’ remembered his initial comparison to a stuffed toy, and it wasn’t far off. But then he watched the toy picked itself off the ground and brush the dirt off itself. It looked up at Vanitas with stitched eyes. And then it started to speak.

“You… you’re Ventus’ darkness, aren’t you?”

That was the last thing he expected to hear. Vanitas watched the creature, trying to hide how much it had unnerved him. It wasn’t just what it said that disturbed him, it was the fact that it could talk at all.

“And?” Vanitas got out. “What are you supposed to be?”

The creature bounced forward. Its eyes could move, but the rest of his face remained immobile, making it hard to discern its expression.

“My name is Chirithy,” it spoke. “I’m friends with Ventus.”

Vanitas scoffed. “Of course you are. Feels like everyone’s friends with that idiot.”

That thing, Chirithy, tilted its head to the side, as if in confusion. He glared at it, still holding his weapon. What had it expected him to say?

“Yeah, but…” it continued. “You’re part of him, aren’t you?”

This wasn’t something he wanted to hear right now. Vanitas clenched his teeth.

“So what?” he snarled, taking a step towards it. “What exactly do you want?”

Chirithy jumped back, letting out a small cry as it did. If it hadn’t agitated him so much, he may have almost felt sorry for it. It was such a skittish, pathetic creature after all, but it had no right to be saying things like that to him.

“I, um…” it stuttered, looking as if it was summoning its courage. “V-Ventus told me about you. He asked me to keep an eye on you while he’s gone, make sure you don’t do anything too reckless.”

Vanitas stared at the Chirithy for the longest time. It took a while for him to process exactly what it said. He dismissed his Keyblade. And then he started to laugh. It started off small, but it wasn’t long before he was collapsing over from the force of it, unable to contain himself.

“Are you… serious?” he got out between laughs. “Ventus sent you to watch over me?”

The Chirithy narrowed its eyes and huffed in anger. Such a pathetic display of rage made Vanitas want to laugh harder.

“Yes, he did,” it said.

“You realise I could just drop kick you off the side of the mountain, right?”

It let out a yelp and ran back behind the pillar. Despite doing its best to hide itself, Vanitas could still see it shaking. He let the last of his laughter die and stepped towards the creature, almost in threat. But to his shock, it stood its ground.

“That’s… not all it is!” the creature spoke while cowering. “I also needed watch you to make sure of something.”

“And what would that be?” he taunted, stopping in front of it. “I hope your spying has been worth it.”

It was still shaking, but it met his glare head on as it spoke.

“I have to know if you remember me at all.”

That made Vanitas stall. “Remember you? I remember you snooping around the first day I got here.”

It shook its head. “No, I mean before that. Way before.”

Vanitas stared at it, but he wasn’t able to answer. The only time he remembered seeing it was when he was on the mountain, and he was sure he would recall a seeing a creature that strange before then. But he knew it was referring to a time well before that, and that was what left him in a predicament. His memories didn’t go back very far at all.

“Before?” he asked the creature. “You’re out of luck. I can’t remember a thing before being split from that idiot.”

Chirithy looked up. “Really? That’s good.”

“Huh? Good?”

Its hands rose up to its mouth. “That’s not what I meant,” it spoke.

Vanitas stared it down. He was getting really tired of how cryptic it was being. “Then what exactly did you mean? How about you start telling me how you know Ventus.”

As he reached down to grab the creature, it did a flip in the air before disappearing in a puff of smoke. He stared at the empty space for a moment, still processing that strange encounter.

What was that even about? He would definitely interrogate Ventus about this when he got back, without question. Just in case the thing was still around, he searched all over the courtyard, peering behind everything he could think of. He even ran part way down the mountain to check the training grounds, but it was no use. The creature was gone without a trace.

And it knew who he was. Just a splintered piece of Ventus. As Vanitas stared out over the valley, his hand rose to his chest. His own heart was beating there. But the darkness that filled it, that made up his being, used to belong to Ventus. It really didn’t belong to him, but that feeling of emptiness it left behind was all his.

Vanitas once thought his only hope was joining with his other half once again. Becoming a weapon of legend. There was one point he almost succeeded, but he soon realised it wasn’t the salvation he had hoped for. After all, wasn’t the pain was supposed to stop when they were whole again? Even now, he was all too familiar with the feeling of pain. It had lessened greatly since he stopped summoning Unversed, but he could still feel the agony of his fractured heart. After everything he had been through, he was still broken. He wondered if Ventus could tell that much, if it was true that he could sense his emotions.

What he needed now more than anything was a purpose. And he had one. There was no point trying to fix his broken heart.

After one last glance at the stars, Vanitas turned and headed back towards the castle. He hated how a creature so pathetic looking had managed to shake him up so much. And all it did was state the facts.

You’re Ventus’ darkness…

He knew that very well. He didn’t need to be reminded. Whatever that creature was, however it knew Ventus, none of that really mattered. But he hated how it seemed to know something he didn’t.

Before long, he reached the hall leading to his bedroom. He doubted sleep would come to him after all that, but he had to try. There was nothing else that could be done. But just as he reached his door, he heard a strange noise coming from one of the other rooms. He paused in place, straining his ears to try and determine what the sound was.

It sounded like… crying?

Vanitas followed the sound cautiously. There weren’t many places it could be coming from, one place in particular truly unthinkable. But as unbelievable as it was, that sound had carried him towards a certain door.

This was Aqua’s room. He’d never been in there himself, but he’d seen her disappear into it enough times to know. He pressed his ear to the door and heard the muffled sobs coming from within, confirming his suspicions.

He pulled back from the door, weighing up what to do. If he wanted to keep avoiding her, the smart thing would be to just ignore it and go on his way. But he was dying to know why she was making a sound like that. It was so unlike anything he would have expected from her. That despair. His hand moved on his own towards the doorknob, turning it without issue. The door opened, the sound pouring out into the hall with clarity.

It was worse than he thought. Such sorrowful cries reached his ears, ones that could have made him forget who was in the room. Vanitas opened the door further, far enough so he could peer inside. The room was pitch black with the only light coming from gaps in the curtain. Even so, he could make out the larger items of furniture, including the bed in the centre of the room. Sitting in the middle of it was a hunched over form drenched in shadow, shaking from the sobs that left it.

But when he pulled himself into the room, those sobs stopped abruptly. The figure summoned a Keyblade and was pointing it at him before he could react. The tip glowed with a light so bright it made Vanitas squint from the sudden exposure. But the figure hadn’t made any other moves.

“What are you doing here?”

That was definitely her voice, but he had never heard it sound so wrecked. It had taken a moment for his eyes to adjust to the light, but now he was able to get a clear look at Aqua’s face. Her eyes were wide open, the outside of them puffy and red. Wet tear marks streaked down her cheeks, gluing some of her hair to her face in chunky strands.

All Vanitas could do was stare at her. He had never seen her like this. He wouldn’t have even thought it was possible.

“…I heard you,” he murmured, not sure what else to say.

“Oh.” Her voice was quiet. Defeated. She wiped at her eyes with her free hand, as if she was trying to erase what he’d already seen. “Sorry,” she spoke. “I didn’t mean to disturb you.”

This wasn’t right. Why did she look so broken?

“What’s wrong with you?”

The question came out on its own. Vanitas wasn’t even upset with himself this time; he genuinely wanted to know. Aqua looked up at him in surprise, before turning her head away as if ashamed.

“It’s nothing. You should go back to sleep.”

“…No.”

Aqua snapped back to him in shock. “What?” she gasped out. That expression she wore was still so helpless. Some part of Vanitas despised seeing it.

“No,” he repeated. “Not until you tell me why you’re acting like this. Do you know how hard I’ve tried to get you to crumble, and here you are without me having to do a thing.”

That wasn’t entirely true. Even when he had imagined her defeat, she was always still proud, even as she lay at his feet. If he pictured her crying, it would have been angry tears, or nothing at all. But this kind of emotion was different. Those tears she cried were filled with misery. He honestly didn’t think she was capable of this sort of despair.

She was still glaring at him, the grip on her Keyblade never faltering. The tears seemed to have dried a bit, and her determination in her eyes made her appear a little less hopeless. But then she spoke.

“Vanitas, are you… worried about me?”

He recoiled, nearly bumping into the door. “What? Of course not. I just wanna know what got you like this.”

Aqua stared at him bit longer; her eyes boring into his like she was trying to figure out if he was lying. She must have assumed he wasn’t as she soon dismissed her Keyblade, the light vanishing with it. But before he could get used to the darkness, she switched on the lamp on her bedside table, bathing the room in a warmer light. He had to adjust again, but at least he could get a better look at her now. Her eyes were still red-rimmed, yet she was already looking far less wrecked. Even though most of her body was under the covers, he could tell she was wearing something different to usual; a plain blue t-shirt that matched her hair. It was the first time he had really seen her in something other than her normal clothes or armour, and he wasn’t sure how to feel about it.

“Do you really want to know?” she asked. Her voice had returned to more of its usual tone, though he could still sense the uncertainty in it. But the way she looked at him, it was like part of her was daring him to keep pressing the issue. And he wasn’t one to back down on one of her challenges, whether she was conscious of it or not.

Without a word, he stepped into the room, closing the door behind him. Her eyes followed him the entire time he moved further inside, with her clearly not willing to let her guard down again. Not wanting to get too close, he stopped at the foot of her bed and stood over it with his arms crossed. He glared at her, waiting for her to speak, and she soon delivered.

“I had a nightmare. That’s all it was.”

He eyed her dubiously. “A nightmare?”

That couldn’t be all it was. There had to be more to the story. A plain old nightmare wouldn’t do this to her.

“Yes,” she continued, looking away. Her courage was faltering. “I was… back in the Realm of Darkness. I was wandering there, all alone. Then these Heartless came and I tried to fight them and couldn’t. I started sinking into the darkness, and I remember crying out, but no one would come.” She paused her story to bury her head in her knees. “Then I woke up, and… I guess it’s because it’s the first night I’ve had since being back without my friends, so I…”

“What? You were scared?”

Aqua murmured in affirmation. “I’ve been getting these nightmares for a while, but after waking up, all I’d need to do was search for Ven or Terra’s light, and I’d know I was okay.”

He couldn’t believe it. She was like this because her friends weren’t around? Getting so upset for such a pathetic reason was easy pickings for him to taunt her with. But something was wrong.

He didn’t feel like it.

“Sorry,” she spoke, wiping her eyes. Had she started crying again? “I know you probably don’t care. You should head back before it gets too late.”

“How long were you there?”

She looked up at him, confused like she didn’t understand the question. Vanitas grumbled.

“How long were you there?” he repeated. “In the Realm of Darkness.”

Aqua seemed to get it that time. She gazed off into the distance, like she was recalling a memory.

“I’m… not really sure how long exactly. I know since the time I left and the time I came back, it was nearly twelve years I think.”

Vanitas gaped at her. He knew she had been stuck down there for a while, but hearing the actual number of years was astounding.

“But it didn’t feel like that,” she insisted upon seeing his expression. “I remember it seemed endless, but with time still like that, there was no way of knowing how long I was actually down there.” She wrapped her arms around herself. “To be honest, sometimes it doesn’t even feel real that I’m back. I worry that this is all some sort of dream I’m having, and I’m really still down there.”

It doesn’t feel real that she’s back? For once, that was a feeling he completely shared with Aqua.

“I doubt it,” he muttered. “If this was all a dream, do you really think I’d be here?”

She looked up at him, surprised again. “Why do you say that? You can’t be too sure, you know.”

He scoffed at her and turned away. She wasn’t going to get to him saying things like that.

“What about you? How long were you there?” It took a moment for him to register her asking him a question. He shrugged his shoulders.

“Who knows. Not that long.”

But as he thought about it, he realised he truly didn’t know how long he had been down there. He remembered regaining consciousness, feeling like absolute garbage, and doing all he could to fight for his fragile life. That period of time didn’t feel very long, but he could have been there for any amount of time before waking up, and it was impossible to know.

“Ah, really?” said Aqua. “I guess I should have known that. It must have been after we fought you in the Keyblade Graveyard.”

“Your guess is as good as mine.”

“But it’s a good thing you weren’t there as long as me. That’s something I’d never wish on anyone.”

Vanitas watched her. She was fiddling with the ends of her blanket, avoiding his eyes while wearing a stony expression. It was something else, seeing her try to stay strong while talking about her trauma. Especially after what he just witnessed.

“…And you went back there anyway,” he mumbled.

“Yes,” she spoke. “I already told you why.”

He scoffed. “That’s stupid. You clearly can’t stand the place if it reduces you to this. Is going back there to search for Sora really worth it?”

“He’s the one who saved me from it,” she told him, her glare turning stern. “I owe him everything.”

“Still, even if he is there, it’s only been a couple of weeks at most. Was anyone in such a rush to get you out?”

She stilled at that, and it made Vanitas think he must have struck a nerve. Only instead of getting angry like he expected, she only returned to that broken look she had before. As Vanitas watched her in confusion, realisation struck.

Wait. Had someone known she was down there?

“Hey,” he spoke, feeling more horrified than he intended. “The reason you were there so long is because no one knew where you were, right?”

She answered with a nod. “Yes. At first.”

“At first?”

Aqua winced, recoiling back into her headboard again. “I… did get found earlier. But some things happened, and I had to stay behind a little longer. It was my choice.”

This was all news to him. He couldn’t imagine why someone wouldn’t try to get her out sooner if they knew she was there. Especially somewhere like that.

“But you got out,” he continued. “So whoever found you, they came back for you, right?”

“…Eventually.”

For some reason, that word pissed him off more than anything else that night.

“…What does that mean?” He knew his voice had a dangerous edge to it, but for once, he hoped Aqua didn’t pick up on it.

She shook her head. “It wasn’t like that. There was a lot going on with the worlds in trouble and everything. Mickey probably came back as soon as he could.”

“Mickey?” he exclaimed, almost jumping up in surprise. “The rat king?”

Aqua frowned. “He’s a mouse.”

“I don’t care. So you’re telling me he knew you were down there, but waited until his schedule cleared before trying to get you out? Some friend you have.”

“I told you it wasn’t like that!” she yelled, her head shaking.  “He just… couldn’t.”

“Is that what you’ve told yourself? Did anyone even care you were gone?”

“Shut up.” Her head snapped up to glare at him, her eyes locked onto his in warning. They burned from the anger that began setting in, but he wasn’t about to stop.

He met her glare head on as he continued to speak. “Once your two best friends were out of the picture, there was no one left to care about you, is that it? You were all alone, left to wallow in pain with no one to turn to.”

“Shut up!” she screamed out. Her hands gripped her blanket with enough force that it nearly tore. But then he heard the sound of a Keyblade being summoned. He barely had enough time to call on his in time to block the beam of light she shot at him. Even though his quick reflexes had kept him alive, the force of the blast nearly knocked him backwards. Once he regained his footing, he stared down at Aqua. That was another cheap shot, she had to have known that. His eyes followed along her Keyblade, stopping at her face.

But this was wrong. She was supposed to be angry, right? Or at least she was a few seconds ago. But that face was wrong, like she regretted what just happened. Her Keyblade vanished almost as soon as it appeared, with her head falling to her knees soon after. They were the only thing propping her up as her sobs started up again.

As she broke down once more, Vanitas glared at her. There was a strange feeling forming in his chest. She had attacked him out of anger, something he had wanted, but there wasn’t an ounce of victory to be felt. Describing that emotion in his heart as pity made the most sense, even if it was for the prideful Master Aqua. But along with that, his irritation started to grow again.

“What’s this?” he sneered. “You finally get angry enough to attack me for real, only to go and break down again.”

“I… didn’t mean to,” she hiccupped in response, and that only made things worse.

He narrowed his eyes, dismissing his Keyblade with a flash. “Enough of that. I don’t wanna hear you say you’re sorry either. You know that despair you’ve been feeling? What you felt in the Realm of Darkness? That’s how I felt every day of my life. No one ever cared for me. What you felt back during your little trip was all I ever knew. Pain. Loneliness.”

Another sob left her body. Vanitas could only watch the pitiful state of his former opponent. She let herself cry uncontrollably, like he wasn’t even there anymore. But what did she have to cry about? That attack? It was the only thing she did all night that made sense. Was it about what happened to her in the Realm of Darkness? But what she didn’t understand was that aside from having to go through that awful experience, she had everything she could ever want. She and Vanitas were nothing alike. It’s like she didn’t know what she had, and that thought annoyed him more than anything else.

Out of the two of them, he was clearly the one who had suffered the most. She had it all; friends, a comfortable life, the respect of the people around her. Things he had long dreamed to have for himself. It should have infuriated him watching her wallow like this. Yet for some reason, he didn’t feel as angry as he should have been. After casting one last gaze over her, he spoke again.

“But it’s not the same for you. You know that. You know how much those idiots care about you. If they could have back then, they would have come to your rescue in seconds.”

Her sobs began to slow. He watched as she slowly lifted her head up to stare at him, not bothering to hide the tears.

Vanitas met her stare with an intense one of his own. “So I don’t wanna see you acting all miserable like this. You may have tasted despair, but that’s all long gone for you. Watching you wallow in loneliness like this pisses me off.”

She blinked at him, sitting there in silence while she absorbed what he said. After propping herself up again, she wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand.

“Vanitas,” she spoke. “You… really feel this way?”

His eyes narrowed. “About what?”

“About being in pain your whole life. I had no idea.”

“No, you don’t.”

“I just didn’t think…” she swallowed. “I never gave much thought to what you were feeling.”

“Why would you? We were enemies. You should know better than to pity the person trying to kill you.”

“You’re wrong,” she spoke, shaking her head. “I should pity them.”

He nearly snarled at her. “Well, you can keep it.”

She frowned at that, but it was hard to tell if it was from what he said, or if she was just still feeling the effects for what happened earlier. Her hands played with the ends of her blanket again.

“Did you… really have no one?” she asked, looking up at him. Those bright blue eyes stared at him, still red from tears. There was a strange allure to them that he had to force himself to ignore.

“Not unless you count Xehanort.”

“Do you?”

Vanitas gritted his teeth at the question. This was supposed to be about her, yet she somehow swung things back around to him.

“That’s a joke, right?” he asked, trying to mock her. But he knew his tone hadn’t come across that way.

Aqua looked at him, the look on her face making Vanitas wish he had chosen his words more carefully. But before Vanitas could say anything else, Aqua pulled herself out from the covers. He thought she was about to get up, but all she did was just swing her legs over the side of the bed. She patted the space next to her and stared up at him.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

He balked at her. “What?”

“I mean it. We haven’t really had a chance to just talk. I think it could be a good thing.”

There’s no way she was serious.

“How do I know you won’t attack me again?”

That guilt returned to her face. “I really didn’t mean to. You just… make me so angry sometimes.”

He couldn’t help himself and let out a grin. “Good.”

“No.” She shook her head. “Not good. That’s why we need to talk things out.”

“And what exactly do you think you’ll get out of it?” he sneered. “My weaknesses?”

Aqua sighed at that. “That’s not my intention, but even if it was, you did just see me at a very weak point. It’s only fair.”

He snorted, his head falling to his hand. She was actually serious. The more rational part of his brain wanted to deny that invitation, knowing that it could only go badly for him. But before he knew it, his feet were carrying him over to the bed. He planted himself at the other end of it, doing what he could to distance himself from her, but even that was futile. The whole bed smelt like her; it didn’t matter how far away he sat. Just like that, whatever resistances he had built up began to crack.

And to make things worse, she seemed way too pleased about the whole thing.

“Thank you,” she said, peering over at him. “I really don’t know a lot about you. I know a lot of the surface level stuff, but I can’t say I actually know who you are. Or about what was in your past.”

“That’s on purpose,” he muttered. “It’s not like I ever told you anything.”

There’s no way he was going to make this easy for her. He wouldn’t even look at her as he spoke to him, not wanting to give away more than he meant to.

“Well, is there anything you want to say now?” she asked. “It might be good to get things off your chest.”

He scoffed but didn’t answer her. If she wanted him to talk, she’d have to get more creative. He started considering what she would need to do to get him to divulge his deepest, darkest secrets, but that thought began leading him down a certain road he was trying to avoid. Being so close was really starting to mess with his mind.

But it was an interesting thought. Would she even go that far? It was more likely the mere idea would just disgust her.

“Okay,” Aqua murmured, as if she herself was in thought. He must have taken too long to say something. “Do you ever get nightmares?”

“Of course I do.”

She jumped up at that, getting him to turn his head towards her. He let out a chuckle at the look of surprise on her face. That sort of thing didn’t even seem like a secret to him, so it was weird that she would act so shocked that he admitted something like that.

“Do you really think the nights are any easier for me?” he asked her. “The difference is I’m used to it.”

“I’m sorry.”

Another apology. He shot her a glare. “What are you sorry for? Relax, it’s not like they’re about you.”

“Well, I guess that’s good,” she sighed. “I’d like to think I’m not horrible enough for you to be having nightmares about me.”

He chuckled. “Are you kidding? You’re the bane of my existence. I should be having nightmares with you in them.”

At least that would make more sense than what actually happened. Because ignoring how she basically lived rent free in his head while he was awake, she definitely had appeared in some of his dreams. And he wouldn’t really call them nightmares.

“Alright,” she chuckled, not taking him seriously. “So what do you dream about?”

As she spoke, she pulled her legs up to her chest. She wasn’t wearing any stockings, so it was his first time seeing her bare legs. They were as flawless as the rest of her. He pulled his eyes away before she could notice him staring.

“Not much,” he muttered, trying to hide his face from her. She had to be doing that on purpose.

“Come on, I told you what I dreamt of,” she argued. “If you prefer, it doesn’t even have to be anything painful.”

He scoffed. “Don’t you remember? All I know is pain. Dreams included.”

Even the rare occasion he did dream of her, he could argue the pain came from the humiliation that something like that would manifest in his head in the first place. But he’d rather run around to everyone screaming about how Ventus was now his best friend than tell her something like that.

“…Do you dream about your life before?”

Was she still pressing it? It wasn’t even subtle.

He clenched his teeth. “Obviously. What, are you trying to get me to tell you what it was like?”

“Do you want to?”

Vanitas groaned, his head falling to his hands. She really wasn’t going to let it go.

“Why do you wanna know so badly?” he asked, mumbling into his hands. “Are you gonna tell me that?”

“I’m sorry,” he heard her say. “I know it’s probably none of my business.”

“It really isn’t. You sure are nosey, Master Aqua.”

He looked up at her to gauge her reaction and caught the frown on her face. Though it was closer to a pout than one of sadness. He couldn’t help himself and let out a grin.

“Hey, what’s that face for?” he asked her.

Her eyes widened. “Me? I could ask you the same. You’re the one smiling like that.”

Vanitas chuckled, turning his body around so his back was to the foot of the bed.

“Smiling? You’re imagining-”

“Hey,” she spoke, her face turning stern. “Get your shoes off my bed.”

He gaped at her a moment, before looking down at the boots he still wore. Was she really gonna get upset about this of all things? He let out a laugh.

“I’ll pass. I’m way too comfy to move.”

Vanitas couldn’t have imagined what she’d do next. While he stared at her smugly, almost daring her to do something, Aqua took the challenge and dove towards him. There was no time to react as she pulled herself right next to him and used her arms to shove him off the bed. After a brief feeling of contact, he tumbled to the ground, unable to move at first from the sheer surprise. As he sat in place on the floor, he looked up to see Aqua crouched over where he’d been sitting, staring down at him with a smirk.

“That’ll teach you. Why don’t you learn some manners next time.”

He gaped at her. She had gotten so close to him without a second thought. She even touched him.

And yet, he hadn’t minded.

He grinned back at her. “Last I checked, shoving people off beds wasn’t the height of manners either.”

“Yeah, well you had it coming.”

He was still sitting on the floor, but he wasn’t in any rush to get up. His eyes were drawn to Aqua the entire time, picking up on subtle things. Like the way her hair hung around her face as she looked down, or the way her eyes had brightened considerably. Then he realised, it was the first time that night she hadn’t looked so sad.

“You’re so weird,” he mused aloud, and like that, Aqua’s smile dropped.

“Huh? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Do you really wanna know more about me? Or is it just some kind of ploy?”

She shook her head. “No. I wouldn’t do something like that. And… I’m not going to force you, so don’t worry about it.”

“Well, here’s an idea,” he spoke, jumping to his feet. “I don’t know about you, but I’m not in any rush to go back to sleep. Why don’t we spar a little, and if you win, I might decide to tell you something about my past.”

She blinked at him. “Now? But it’s so late.”

“Who cares. It’s not like we’d be bothering anyone. And you look like you could use the distraction.”

Aqua thought about it for a moment. He could see her arguing with herself about it, but it wasn’t long before the cracks started to form.

“Okay,” she relented. “Just for a bit. But you need to get something if you win.”

“You mean when I win,” he smirked. “Maybe I’ll get you to divulge some more of your secrets.”

She nodded her head. “Yes, that sounds fair.”

Her reaction was more lacklustre than he would have liked, but he’d be sure to get more out of her during training. He rolled his eyes. “Alright, so long as you know what you’re getting into. Let’s go.”

Vanitas headed for the door, eager to get started. It might end up being the only enjoyment he’d have that night.

“Wait!” Aqua called out. “I can’t spar like this.”

He turned back to face her. Even though he expected her to be right behind him, she hadn’t moved an inch from her bed. She was gesturing at her clothes, and while they weren’t what she usually wore, he didn’t see what the big deal was. He supposed she’d want shoes at least, but that’s all he could come up with.

“Alright,” he shrugged, standing with his back to the door. “Do what you gotta.”

As he stood there, she glared at him with an intensity different from before. He didn’t really get what the problem was. It was like she wanted to say something else to him but couldn’t.

“Come on,” he grumbled. “What’s the hold up?”

To his complete shock, her cheeks flushed red.

“You gotta leave,” she almost hissed at him. He just stared at her and when he failed to move, she jumped to her feet and stormed over to him. Before long, she was shoving him out the door.

He was still resisting, and in his confused state he let out a laugh.

“Seriously? What’s your problem?”

There it was. On her face was the strangest look of rage he had ever seen. Her entire face was completely red, and he would say she looked ready to kill him if it weren’t for the panic in her eyes.

“I told you to get out! Right now!”

After screaming that, she finally managed to shove him into the hall and slammed the door shut after him. While he was getting his bearings, he heard the lock click behind him. He was starting to get annoyed by her weird reaction and tapped on the door.

“Did you just lock this?” he called out. “You know I have a Keyblade, right?”

“Vanitas!” she yelled out, her fury seeping right through the door. “If you open that door, I’ll show you the true meaning of suffering!”

He jumped away at that, feeling equal parts amused and terrified. For once, he had no doubt she’d go through with it if he tested her. And while the thought intrigued him, it didn’t seem like the smartest thing to do.

Once things had started to settle down, he recalled the look on her face as she shoved him out of the room. He had seen her angry before, but this time it was layered with something else. He would say it was a sort of panic, but that didn’t feel quite right. Whatever it was, it made something in his heart shudder, and he knew he really wouldn’t mind seeing that sort of face again.

He’d managed to compose himself by the time the lock clicked open again. The door soon followed and Aqua stepped out, almost cautiously. She was wearing her normal top, shorts, and stockings, but was missing a lot of the other elements such as the sashes. Her sleeves were gone too, leaving only her gloves behind. Seeing her dressed like this made Vanitas wonder just how many pieces made up her normal outfit.

“Alright, shall we go?” she asked. He could still see remnants of red on her cheeks, making him think about her reaction again. As interesting as it was, he still couldn’t justify it in his head. All she did was change her clothes.

Then it came to him. She changed her clothes. His mind screeched to a halt remembering what he said to her. And her reaction. Then he had a horrifying realisation. Had she thought he wanted to watch? What did she take him for? Even though he wanted to think he was way above that sort of thing, there was some part of him picturing what would have happened if he stayed. But he pulled himself back to reality. That was a very dangerous line of thinking.

Still, he needed to fix things.

“I didn’t know you were getting changed,” he murmured, quiet enough that he wondered if Aqua even heard him. But from the way she stopped in place, she did.

“What, did you think I’d fight in my pyjamas?”

She did have a point, and he wanted to beat himself up for not realising sooner. With nothing else to add, he kept his mouth shut as he followed her to the main hall. At least soon enough there would be something else to focus on. After wiping his mind clear, they took their positions in the centre of the room and drew their Keyblades. Just like that, the confusion earlier was forgotten, and it became much like the other times they had sparred, down to the serious look on Aqua’s face.

“I’m sure we’re both exhausted,” she said, readying her stance. “So let’s not go so hard today.”

He scoffed, tightening the grip on his blade. “What? You’re gonna go easy on me again? Because I intend to go all out.”

She smirked at him. “We’ll see. You do seem a bit spacey.”

Vanitas felt his own face heat up. She was still thinking about what he did. Without saying a thing, he charged at her, determined to make her forget. But just like every other time, even as he put his all into it, his blade was blocked by hers effortlessly. If anything, that was only further proof of her resolve. It amazed him that she could still remain so strong after everything that happened earlier.  

He gritted his teeth, forcing her back. She hopped away; her movements limber as always. He wanted to think it was his efforts that pushed her back, but it was hard to believe that from the way she smirked at him. After charging at her again, he yelled out to her.

“Will you stop underestimating me?”

She didn’t even bother taking that hit, instead she merely stepped to the side of him. But Vanitas could see it. Even if she started this acting all serious, he could that smile on her face. It showed how much she was enjoying herself despite everything. And that really messed with him.

It was hard to keep the grin off his own face as he ran towards her again. No matter how much he tried to hold it back, they joy that came from when they fought was infectious. As their blades clashed, his eyes met with hers, and he heard something like a hum come from her mouth.

“As soon as you beat me, I will.”

He let out a laugh, pulling his face closer to hers. It was an attempt to psyche her out, and from the way her eyes widened just slightly, it worked.

“Careful, Aqua,” he chuckled, trying to hide the delight he felt. “I might decide to get serious.”

The two sparred for a short while, trading blows with each other. But as the night went on, fatigue began setting into both of them. Vanitas could feel his legs starting to give out, though he was determined not to be the first to fall. But just like last few times they sparred, Aqua was the first to dismiss her weapon. She stood there stretching her wrists out while he was fighting to catch his breath.

“Why don’t we call it a draw?” she suggested. Vanitas glared at her, but he was too tired to argue.

“Fine,” he muttered, dismissing his Keyblade. He stretched his arms above his head, the movement an attempt to keep his limbs working. As he did, he kept an eye on Aqua. He thought she’d start heading off, but she just stood there, her hands twining together. Like she was nervous about something.

“Hey Vanitas,” she spoke, staring at her hands. “I don’t think I’m ready to go to sleep yet.”

He stared at her blankly. He had no clue where she was going with this, but he could feel certain thoughts forming in his head again. After quashing them, he opened his mouth cautiously.

“I thought you didn’t want to spar anymore.”

“I don’t,” she said. “But it is a lovely night. I was thinking of going on a walk outside for a while.”

“Do what you want.”

He half expected that to be the end of it, but he really should have known better by now.

“Sorry, but…” she began. “I don’t really want to be alone right now.”

She had to have some awareness of what she was saying. There were more thoughts he had to stamp out, but even so, she was being so roundabout. It was starting to get on his nerves again.

He glared at her. “Would you quit avoiding it and tell me what you want?”

At his words, she finally looked at him again. Her surprise was clear as day, but to his shock, it started devolving into embarrassment.

“You don’t have to, but would you like to come with me?”

Vanitas felt himself freeze up. There was no way she was saying what he thought she was. He was sure she’d be sick of his presence by now.

“You must really be desperate if you’re asking me to do something like that.”

“So, is that a no?”

He grimaced. That wasn’t what he was saying at all.

“Fine,” he got out. “Not like I was gonna sleep anyway.”

Her face lightened up immensely, just with that. He couldn’t believe it. There really was something wrong with her.

Before long, he was following her out of the castle. He had expected the walk to go a bit longer, but the night sky had caught her attention as they neared the training grounds. That was how they ended up sitting on a bench together, watching the stars. Aqua had mentioned it was a better place than the courtyard, and he was inclined to agree. Even with those weird training wheels nearby, the view of the sky was much clearer without the lights of the castle. He realised the irony of the light making something worse, and it was something Vanitas was tempted to point out. But when he got ready to taunt her, he caught her staring at him out of the corner of his eye and lost his nerve. Looks like she wasn’t as entranced by the sky as he was. His neck started to prickle.

“What is it now?” he muttered, forgetting what he was about to say. As he turned his head to her completely, she jolted a bit at realising she’d been caught.

“Sorry,” she said. “It’s just I should thank you. I know you were trying to get my mind off things.”

He scoffed, turning back to look at the sky. “Of course not. I just had nothing better to do.”

She said nothing else for a moment. Despite that, Vanitas felt compelled to look back at her. She wasn’t staring at him anymore, nor the stars. Instead, she gazed out over the valley, her hands entwined together again.

“Hey, remember our deal?” she asked. “If one of us wins, the other gets to tell them something.”

Vanitas watched her, wondering where she was going with this.

“Yeah?”

“Well, a draw sorta means we both win. So I guess we both have to talk.”

He glared at her, puzzled by what she said. “That’s not what a draw is. But whatever.”

“I can go first, if you like,” she said. It was clear to him now; something must be eating at her. She took a breath. “Do you want to know why I saved you in the Realm of Darkness? The real reason?”

Vanitas stalled. He hadn’t expected that.

“Real reason?” he got out. “What do you mean by that?”

She took another breath, as if trying to summon her courage. “I’m not sure if you knew this, but back when I was down there, there was a time when I fell to darkness myself.”

He had to stop himself from gaping at her. That surprised him. The idea that someone like her had fallen was unthinkable. Or at least it would have been if he hadn’t seen her break down earlier that night.

Still, it was difficult to imagine someone so bright succumbing to darkness.

“You did?” he asked, watching her expression. There was that shame again.

“Yes,” she continued, looking away from him. “It was triggered by something out of my control, but I just… let it happen. I still remember that moment, where I felt it would just be better if I just gave up and faded into the darkness. Even after I was brought back, I was terrified of ever feeling that way again.”

It was like they were back in her bedroom. That look of helplessness had returned and he couldn’t stand it.

“And?” he spoke. “Why are you telling me this?”

She turned back to him, finally willing herself to look him in the eye again. “So, when I saw you down there, something came to me. If I can save you, bring you to the light, then I won’t have to fear falling to the darkness again. I thought if you can be saved, anyone can.” As she spoke, she brought her knees up to her face. “I know, it’s a selfish reason. I didn’t really listen to what you wanted. I guess all I wanted was to reassure myself.”

He glared at her. “You may think that, but we’re nothing alike. You just said you fell because of something out of your control.”

“I know. But even so, that’s still the reason I saved you. Why I’m still trying now.” Something shifted in her expression. “And I think you’re trying too.”

“Huh?”

“Before, you were trying to comfort me. Even if you won’t admit it. You wanted me to get my mind off things, and it worked, even just for a little while. But I just wish you would use a bit more tact.”

He scoffed, turning away from her. “Well, you’re not exactly someone who needs coddling.”

Aqua let out a laugh, a sound he felt like he hadn’t heard in ages. He did his best not to show how much it affected him.

“I guess not,” she said, letting her laughter die down. “But hey, now it’s your turn. You can tell me anything you like.”

He thought about it for a moment. She was still doing her best to dig into his past, something he wasn’t entirely on board for. But then again, she had showed him a completely new side of her today, something he had never expected to see. Vulnerability. Even so, that wasn’t really a reason to start divulging his own secrets.

But something about the way she looked at him stirred something within him. If he didn’t know any better, he would think she was genuinely interested.

“Fine. I’ll tell you something,” he spoke. “I don’t think you know what it was really like training under Xehanort.”

Her eyes widened at hearing the name, but they soon softened again.

“You’re right. I can’t imagine what that must have been like.”

He bristled at her response and cast his gaze over the valley instead. “For his purposes, I needed to be a being of pure darkness. Darkness is pain, so he made sure to cultivate it as much as possible. He did what he could to make sure I suffered.”

After speaking, he looked over at her to try and gauge her reaction. She seemed to be listening intently, but there was a look of horror creeping onto her face.

“What… exactly did he do to you?”

He didn’t want to look at it anymore and turned away. “Training. Or at least that’s what he called it. I know it’s nothing like what you three went through. But when that wasn’t happening, he liked to leave me to my own devices a lot, with only the Unversed to keep me company. And you can probably guess how pleasant they were to have around.”

She shook her head. “No, I know it must have been terrible. But… when you say training, what do you mean exactly?”

He turned back to her and flashed a grin. “You really wanna know?”

“Yes. But only if you want to tell me.”

She wasn’t going to drop it. Fine, she would regret asking.

“Whenever he bothered to interact with me, only one of two things would happen.” He held out two fingers. “Either he’d go on and on about my destiny, how one day I’d forge the X-Blade and unleash its ultimate power. Or,” he spoke, forcing a grin to his face. “He’d ‘train’ me by beating me until I couldn’t move. If I was supposed to be a being of darkness who despised everything, it was only natural that included him.”

Looking back at her, he saw she was hanging onto his every word. Not only that, her look of horror had intensified. But after the brief feeling of victory he had, it all came tumbling down. It wasn’t just horror. It was pity. And he’d made that happen by telling his stupid story.

“Vanitas, I…” she began. “I really had no idea. I’m so sorry. I wish I’d known.”

“I don’t wanna hear it,” he muttered. “It doesn’t matter now anyway; the old geezer is gone. Besides, what could you have done?”

She seemed taken aback by his question. “If I knew someone was suffering like that, I would have helped them.”

“Even if they were pure darkness?” he asked, moving closer to her. “I seem to remember your Master despised it more than anything else. Do you really think he would have let you help someone like me?”

“I…” She was struggling to respond. “I would have tried.”

“But don’t you see how pointless this conversation is? You can’t change the past, so get over it.”

She didn’t say anything for a while. This whole thing was annoying him. He made such a huge mistake.

“What about now?” she asked. “Are you still in pain?”

He wanted to glower at her, but he ended up thinking about it instead. It was true, despite his weakened form, existing was nowhere near as painful as it used to be. He couldn’t make sense of it, nor did he really want to.

“I don’t know,” he said after a while. “I guess now, I’m feeling different types of pain.”

“Different how?”

He stiffened. He really didn’t want to elaborate on that. “I don’t know how. It just is.”

“Alright,” she sighed, turning back towards the stars. “I won’t push it. I know I’ve probably done enough of that.”

“Good.”

Before she could say anything else, Vanitas watched as Aqua wrapped her arms around herself as a particularly chilly breeze blew past. He could see the goosebumps forming on her arms as she shivered. She spun towards him when she noticed him staring.

“Aren’t you cold?”

He shrugged. “Not really. Why, are you?”

“Yes,” she said through chattering teeth. “It’s freezing tonight. We should head inside.”

“What?” he said, grinning as she stood up. “Master Aqua can’t handle a little chill?”

She spun towards him, her lips curled into a frown. “You know, when you call me that, I can’t help but feel like you’re making fun of me.”

“It’s because I am.”

She huffed and crossed her arms over herself. It was like she was trying to look intimidating, but he could still see her shivering. “I’ll have you know, I worked hard to get that title.”

“It’s not like you had much competition.”

That was the wrong thing to say from the way Aqua’s eyes narrowed.

“It’s not a contest. And besides, Terra and Ven work just as hard as I do.”

He scoffed. “Hardly. You’re on a completely other level.”

As he spoke, he could see her eyes widen.

“What? No I’m not.”

Getting annoyed again, he stood up to face her. “In case you forgot, you’re the one I aim to defeat. Do you really think I’d bother if I thought you weren’t strong enough?”

She didn’t say anything, she just stared at him for the longest time. Her arms were still wrapped around her body, and he saw their grip tighten.

“You… really think I’m strong? Even after everything you saw? After everything I told you?”

“Are you serious?” He almost wanted to pull his hair out. It was like nothing got through to her. “I thought I told you I’d had enough of that self-loathing. If you can’t see the obvious, then you’re the biggest idiot here.”

For a moment, from the way she looked at him he thought she was going to start crying again. But then to his shock, she started to laugh. A genuine laugh, the kind that ran through his head without mercy. She looked up at him, wiping a tear from her eye.

“How did we get here?” she asked, her eyes finding his. “I never expected you of all people to comfort me.”

He pulled his eyes from hers before she could trap them.

“Don’t be ridiculous, that’s not what I’m doing.”

“But thank you for tonight. I really mean it.”

He groaned. “Please, I didn’t do anything worth mentioning. If anything, I’ve just insulted you.”

She chuckled at that. It was like she didn’t believe him. “Of course.”

After that, she stood herself before heading back to the courtyard, gesturing at Vanitas to follow. He didn’t see much other choice as they were going the same direction anyway. But he made sure not to walk so close, positive that his heart had enough of being so close to her. Even so, a small part of him didn’t want this to end. As if she had somehow heard that part, Aqua stopped as soon as they reached the castle stairs. Just by looking at her, he could tell there was more she wanted to say.

“Go on, spit it out,” he called out her. She spun back to him in surprise, but then a nervous smile came to her face.

“I’m sorry if this is sudden, but would it be alright if I called you a friend?”

He jumped back at that, not expecting it at all.

“What?” he choked out. “Why would you wanna do that?”

She shrugged. “I mean, distracting someone from their nightmare is something a friend would do. I know you probably don’t think of me as one right now, and that’s okay, but I would like to at least think of you as one.”

Of all the things she had done or said, that was what it took to stall his mind completely.

A friend? She wants to be friends?

His heart hammered in his chest, almost like it was trying to break free. Never in a million years did he think he would hear those words, especially from someone he once tormented so much. He would have thought she was lying, but he knew she wasn’t the sort of person who would do that.

“Vanitas?”

The sound of her voice calling his name brought him back to reality. She was looking at him in such concern that he felt a wave of self-consciousness slam into him. He snapped his head away from her, just so she couldn’t see his face.

“Would you quit being so sappy?” he got out. “I thought I’d finally get a break from all this after Ventus left.”

“So, can I?”

“Look…” he sputtered, not sure what to say. “You can do what you want. I know I can’t talk you out of doing stupid stuff like this. And it really is stupid, just so you know.”

She let out another laugh. “Alright. I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Wait just a second!” he yelled out, trying to hide his face from her. His cheeks burned and he knew for sure he could never let her see that.

After another laugh, he heard her climb a step before stopping again.

“It’s late,” she said. “We should probably head to bed. Don’t worry though, I’ll be okay.”

“I wasn’t worried,” he insisted, but his tone was weaker than he would have liked. “Where do you even come up with this stuff?”

When he glanced at her, he caught her staring at him again, with a smile so bright it was hard to pull his eyes away.

“Okay, whatever you say. Goodnight, Vanitas.”

She waved at him, and something tugged at him to reply.

“…Goodnight.”

Just that one word made her smile even brighter. It really was hard to look away. Before long, she turned and ascended the rest of the staircase. When she disappeared inside, he gave himself a moment to ground himself, his hand reaching up to clutch at his heart. The thing still pounded within his chest, rebelling against his more rational side.

His other hand rose to his face, feeling the heat that accumulated there. Why had those words, over everything, had such an effect on him? But he could argue, everything she did had an effect on him.

It was maddening. He knew what he wanted, but she always had to go and throw a wrench in his plans. It was her specialty, and she’d arguably been doing it since they met. Being around her had always thrilled him, but now he was terrified it was for the wrong reasons.

He pulled his hand away from his face, willing himself to get a grip. She wanted friendship? It was so ridiculous it should have made him laugh. But all he could think of was that smile, and the idea of her doing that more often around him. It didn’t make any sense to him. Her smile should have meant nothing. She should have meant nothing. That’s why he had to destroy her.

But again, that thought made him stall. And there was no point trying to ponder it any further, as he knew where that might lead his wayward mind. He knew there was a reason, but he would die before even attempting to uncover it. The whole thing was so stupid.

Yet, when he recalled her asking him to be her friend, as well as her nervousness while doing it, something almost floated in his chest. It was something he’d almost never thought he would feel, especially here.

He was… happy.

Chapter Text

“Vanitas, be careful with that!”

He didn’t even get a second to respond before Aqua ran over and grabbed the bowl from his hands. Whatever he did had thrown her into a mild panic, and when he saw that exasperated look on her face, he couldn’t help but let out a laugh.

“What?” he chuckled as he turned to her. “You’re the one who told me to stir it.”

It was like she hadn’t heard him. All of her attention on the bowl she just snatched from his grip. Her brows were furrowed as she scrapped at the sides with the spoon he was just holding, and it was only when the mixture was to her liking that she raised her head to look at him. She let out a sigh, making her displeasure clear.

“I said stir it, not splash it around everywhere.”

He rolled his eyes at her. “Well, so sorry I couldn’t meet your high standards.”

After one last sigh she went back to the task, not seeming very likely to trust Vanitas with it again. But other than that little disagreement over stirring practices, the pair’s attempt at making brownies was going fairly well. Vanitas was stunned when Aqua first asked him to help out. He nearly refused too, but after much pondering and being promised the first piece, he was far less reluctant. Besides, he wasn’t Terra. Only a complete idiot would turn down Aqua’s baking, and he would stand by that.

He just hadn’t expected Aqua to take it so seriously. Though he supposed he shouldn’t be surprised, not from how seriously she took everything else. With nothing better to do, his eyes drifted over towards her, watching as she continued to stir the mixture. Her brows were furrowed, and the tip of her tongue was poking from her mouth, all signs of her unbreaking concentration. It was strange seeing her so focused on something so trivial, but it was so much like her. This was just how she was.

Vanitas knew he was staring at her again, but it was happening so often now he could barely muster the energy to be mad about it anymore. The most he could do nowadays was yell into his pillow at night whenever their interactions from that day came to the forefront of his mind. If he was thankful for anything, it was that Ventus had been off for days doing who knows what on another world and had no way to comment on it.

And somehow, Aqua hadn’t noticed. Or if she had, she hadn’t said anything. He was relieved seeing as he’d have no idea what he’d say if she actually called him out on it. But he knew her ignorance had to be only temporary. Something had definitely changed after that night after their talk, something that almost made her more bearable to be around. But he didn’t even want to consider what that change could have been.

Groaning, he went to rub at his forehead, but he stopped when he saw the batter coating his hands. His hands felt sticky all of a sudden, and he wondered why he hadn’t noticed sooner. He rubbed his fingers together, only making more of a mess, before bringing them to his mouth. Aqua said he couldn’t lick from the spoon, but if it was already on him there was no harm. It didn’t take long before he was licking it off his hands, the batter’s wonderful sweetness coating his tongue. Even though he wanted the brownies, he briefly wondered if he could convince Aqua to let him eat the mixture as is.

His hand was mostly clean when he heard Aqua clearing her throat. He glanced up to see her glaring down at him in disapproval. She had even set the bowl down to give him her full attention. He stared her directly in the eye as he licked the last stripe from his fingers, his mouth pulling into a grin.

“Sorry, did you want some?”

She scoffed and pulled her eyes away from him.

“No thank you,” she said, placing her hands on her hips. “I’d rather wait until it’s cooked.”

Vanitas shrugged and wiped his hands on his pants. “Suit yourself.”

Something that sounded almost like a groan came from her direction, but she said nothing else. It wasn’t long before she continued on, picking up the bowl she set down and pouring its contents into a pan. He eyed the empty bowl when she was done, already contemplating how to get it off her. Aqua must have noticed his turmoil from the way she sighed and shoved the bowl in his direction.

“At least use the spoon,” she muttered.

There was no way he could help himself now. He grinned as he took the bowl from her.

“Hmm, I don’t know,” he mused as he inched his fingers towards the batter remnants. “Eating it with my hands seems more appealing now for some reason.”

She rubbed at her forehead. “You’re such a child. Just please don’t touch anything if you decide to do that.”

He stuck his tongue out at her, relishing as she groaned at him again. But soon he got to work scooping out the rest of the mixture. Honestly, it was a tedious way to do it, but watching how Aqua reacted made it worth it. She had placed the pan in the oven, but afterwards she crossed her arms and made a point to look away from him. Vanitas knew she was only pretending that it wasn’t bothering her as much as it did, and he could see the cracks forming even now. How much longer will it be now before she caved?

Once he polished off the bowl, he set it down on the table with a thud and loudly licked the rest off his fingers. The sound made Aqua jolt and while she didn’t say anything, he could tell she wanted to. He beamed at her when he was done.

“Got a problem?”

She finally met his eyes again, and he adored that look she had on her face. That complete disbelief.

“I do,” she spoke, her voice sounding as exasperated as she looked. “I wish I didn’t have to see that. It’s disgusting.”

“Too bad. Don’t make it taste so good then.”

She rolled her eyes at him as she went to go pick up the bowl. The taste of the mixture still lingered in his mouth, almost like a taunting reminder of what was to come.

“Hey,” he spoke up. “How long will it take?”

“Well,” Aqua mused as she placed the bowl among the other dishes. “They’ll take about an hour to cook. But we should clean up in the meantime.”

She definitely flashed a pointed look at him just then before busying herself with the dishes. Right, the clean-up. Just think about it made his fingers still felt sticky again. But before he could try and wipe them, Aqua appeared in front of him and shoved something damp into his hands.

“Here. You can use that to clean yourself, and then you can help wash up.”

It was a dish rag. Vanitas could tell without even looking just from how drenched it left his hands. This would be the point where he’d try to argue, but she had that stubborn look on her face that told him any protests would be futile. And his hand was already soaked from the cloth anyway.

“Fine,” he groaned. “But you gotta make it up to me afterwards. Cleaning’s not gonna take a whole hour, so why don’t we spar when we’re done here?”

He had expected her to agree. Training is just what they did whenever they had a moment to spare. But then she shook her head.

“We can’t spar all the time,” she said. “I was actually hoping to get something else done today, so I thought we might find you something else to do. It wouldn’t hurt if we got you a hobby of some kind.”

“What?” he laughed. “Are you joking? I don’t need one, thanks.”

“Yes, you do,” Aqua spoke, trying to keep her voice firm. “I have things to do too, you know. I can’t have you annoying me all the time.”

He blinked at her. Annoying? He tried to be a menace, but ‘annoying’ sounded a bit too tame for him. He was about to quip something back at her, but then something stalled him. It was that warm smile she wore, one that could bore its way into the darkest of hearts. Of course, she hadn’t meant what she said, and it was something he should have gotten used to by now. Even when they were enemies, she still hadn’t been able to muster the greatest insults to use against him.

But back then, he also could have never imagined that she would smile around him. That she’d even want to do things like bake brownies together. Nothing could have prepared him for this normality, and he was certain she didn’t even need a Keyblade if that smile of hers was enough to disarm him.

“Fine,” he got out. He only hoped his expression came across as irritated and not as vulnerable as he felt. “What do you suggest?”

She blinked, like she was surprised he was willing to hear her out so easily. It took her a moment to think, but soon enough her eyes brightened.

“I have an idea. But I won’t show you until after we clean up.”

A drop of water fell onto his foot from the cloth he was still holding as if on cue, reminding him of what they were doing. He gritted his teeth, cursing Aqua for handing him something so sopping wet, but also himself for getting so easily distracted from it. Without another word, he stormed towards the sink and got to work. Despite his general irritation, Vanitas was curious enough about what she had in mind that he cleaned without much complaint. He liked to think he was doing a pretty good job too since Aqua only had to step in to stop him breaking something twice. But it was only twice.

When the cleaning was done to her satisfaction and the brownies still had a good forty minutes left to cook, they left the kitchen to see what Aqua came up with. He hadn’t put much thought into where they were going, but that was until she began leading him down the hall in a familiar direction. He shot her a look when he realised where they were, but kept his mouth shut. It went unnoticed anyway. Aqua was oddly unfazed as she led him towards her bedroom, like she didn’t remember what happened the last time he was there.

She opened the door, and the light pouring out from the window assaulted his eyes. He managed to blink it away before long in order to get better look around. The room looked very different in broad daylight; its brightness far more suitable for someone like Aqua than the dreariness of that night. It was way too bright for his own tastes though, especially with the sunlight pouring through the window like that. Before he could really start poking around, Aqua gestured him to follow her. She stopped in the corner of the room where a short bookshelf stood, something he hadn’t noticed before. As he stared at it, she smiled at him.

“Here,” she began. “This is a good way to pass the time.”

He eyed the books lining the shelf. “What? Reading?”

“Yep. It’s what I usually do when I want to relax. There’s no better thing to do if you’re after some peace and quiet.”

Vanitas smirked. “Peace and quiet? If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were still trying to pacify me.”

Making a point to ignore him, Aqua went to pull a book off the shelf. Her eyes scanned over the cover, and after it got her hum of approval, she held it out to him, her stare goading him to take it. It didn’t take long before he stepped towards her and grabbed the book from her hands. He really wanted to show on his face that he thought the whole thing was stupid, but the fact that he took it without arguing was already a sign he was interested. It was really starting to dawn on him how eager he was to go along with what she wanted now.

With not much point in stalling, he glanced down at the book. The cover was plain and boring, with the title written in a hard to read script. He barely managed to stop himself squinting at it, not wanting Aqua to notice.

“I know reading might not be your thing,” she spoke as she stepped away from him. “But I think you might like this one. It’s got lots of fighting and violence.”

He scoffed at her. “Well, you certainly think highly of me.”

She pouted, but it was one of those times where Vanitas could tell she wasn’t really upset. Sure enough, her smile was back to replace it in no time.

“I’ll let you borrow it if you want,” she went on. “I know there’s not much to do around here, so if you’re interested, I’ll let you borrow any of my books. So long as you ask.”

Vanitas rolled his eyes and began to flick through the pages carelessly. He would stop on a page every so often to get a feel for it, but his brain got stuck on words more often than he would have liked. There was no way he could let Aqua see that, so feigning disinterest was the next best thing. But as he flicked through it, he couldn’t shake the thought of her sharing something like this with him. This was something she did for fun, right? If he went about this the right way, he could use these books to learn more about her. It would be a good insight, but he could already tell he wasn’t getting anything from this book. His eyes wandered from the page he was on and back towards the shelf in the hope of finding something more interesting.

That’s when he spotted something in the gap where the book was, lying behind where all the others were stacked. Without another thought, he placed the book down on her bed and marched towards the shelf. Aqua only realised what he was doing when it was too late, when he had already pulled a battered book out from behind the others.

“Wait!”

He turned to her as she yelled out and saw her reaching towards him. Her eyes were wide with a panic he had yet to see on her, but this only spurred him on. Grinning with the book in hand, he darted to the other end of the room, dodging as she swiped for him.

“Hmm? What is it?” he taunted, only stopping to wave the book around. “Could you be hiding something?”

She gave chase, but she didn’t seem to be putting much effort into stopping him. When she finally stopped her pitiful attempts, it gave him the freedom to scan his eyes over the cover. It was creased and faded, but he could make out the image of two people staring at each other. Holding hands too.

“Okay, Vanitas, that’s enough,” she spoke up. Her voice was oddly nervous. “You can give it back now. It’s okay, you probably wouldn’t like that one anyway.”

He held it up to her, pointing out the creases along the spine. “Maybe, but it looks like you do.”

She sputtered, looking as if she wanted to argue. But instead she held her arms up, like in defeat.

“Okay, you got me. Make fun of me if you want. Just please be careful with it.”

Her reactions were so strange, it almost felt like he was missing something. He looked over the book again, and it just seemed like a normal book to him, despite how much it was worn. But there had to be something else to it that he wasn’t seeing, and if he could find out what that was, he’d have the advantage. With that thought in mind, he grinned at her.

“What, are you embarrassed for some reason?”

He had barely finished speaking when her eyes shot up in alarm. She tried to recover, but he’d already seen it. There had to be something more to it.

“It’s… just a silly book,” she protested. “Don’t worry about it, I can find you something you’ll definitely like more.”

She must have thought that would be the end of it. But she still hadn’t given him an answer. He swerved around her as she attempted to grab the book from him again and turned to the first page. Clearing his throat, he began to read.

“It had been ten days since Iris last saw the handsome man outside her window.”

He was thankful that the first line wasn’t too complex. But the next few loomed ahead, and he knew he would mess it up somewhere. Before there was a chance of that happening, he lifted his eyes from the page to survey Aqua’s reaction. She was standing there frozen, gaping at him as her cheeks turned that tell-tale shade of pink. That sight alone almost made him forget what he was doing.

“You… you really don’t have to read it,” she murmured. It really looked as if she was fighting whether to take the book from him or not. As for Vanitas, once his mind recovered, he was all too eager to continue. The face she pulled was just too interesting to ignore.

He smirked at her. “Weren’t you the one who said I can borrow any book?”

“Yes,” she sputtered. “But you won’t like that one, I promise.”

“How can you be so sure? You seem to like it a lot.”

That got her to freeze again. “It’s…” she paused, like she was fighting to get it out. “It’s just a romance novel. But I promise, I really do have more interesting books than that.”

Romance novel?

Vanitas looked at the cover again, at the two figures on it, and something clicked. Oh, so the story was about those two. In love.

In retrospect, he should have figured that out. But still, that realisation made something in his chest clamp up.

“I mean it’s not just romance,” Aqua continued, in an attempt to do damage control. “There’s more to it than that, of course. It’s about these two people who go on a journey together and uh… yeah they slowly fall for each other, but it’s really more to do with adventure.”

As she spoke, Vanitas lifted his eyes of the book to glare at her. That initial elation he felt was gone as he watched her keep trying to backpedal. Now he was getting irritated again.

“Why are you being so defensive?” he asked, not expecting her to jolt so much when he did.

She wouldn’t meet his eyes. “Sorry, I don’t mean to be,” she spoke. “It’s just… a little embarrassing.”

“Embarrassing?”

“Yeah,” she continued. “I know if Terra or Ven were to find out I had something like that, they would never let me live it down.”

Finally. Now it felt like he was getting somewhere.

“What? You think they’d make fun of you?”

“They would,” she said with such certainty that it surprised him. “I’m a Keyblade Master. I’m a Guardian of Light. I’m the Master in charge of this castle. So of course, it’d be weird that I’d like something so… girly.”

And just like that, he was lost again.

“But…” he began, still trying to process what she said. “You are a girl.”

Her eyes found his again, and she gave him a smile. “Thank you. But I’m supposed to be tough. A leader. Someone like that shouldn’t be interested in sappy romance novels.”

Nothing she was saying made any sense to him, and it was starting to really get on his nerves.

“What are you even talking about?” he asked her. “You’re acting like those two things can’t coexist. You’re a girl, and the toughest person I know.”

It was only when she gaped at him that he realised he’d let something slip again. The way he was losing more and more control over what came out of his own mouth was getting ridiculous. But before he could try to backtrack, she started to laugh.

That sound again. It invaded his head and made his face flush red before he could stop it.

“Hey! What’s so funny?” he shouted, attempting to regain some composure.

“Sorry,” she said between laughs. “I’m still not used to you complimenting me.”

He hated this. He shook his head, almost like he was trying to remove whatever she made grow root there by force.

“No, that’s not what that was,” he groaned. “Would you stop pulling things out of thin air!”

Vanitas would have given anything for that to be the end of it, but he should have known she wouldn’t be convinced. She would take anything he said that was vaguely not an insult and run with it. As if to prove it, she let out another laugh.

“Alright, whatever you say. But still, I appreciate it.”

She was still smiling at him. It was driving him crazy. But he needed to calm down. He refused to lose here, not when there was so much at stake. And now there was only one thing he could do to make sure he came out on top. Without wasting another second, he darted towards the exit, her book still in hand. He waved it at her as he reached the door.

“I’m onto you! There’s no way that’s the only reason you didn’t want me to read this!” he shouted back at her. “You don’t want me to read it because it reveals your weaknesses, doesn’t it? And now it’s just fallen into my lap, and there’s nothing you can do about it!”

She blinked at him. Confusion settled on her face, but soon enough she looked on the verge of laughter again. Even so she held it back, perhaps to avoid upsetting him again.

“That would be terrible, wouldn’t it?” she spoke, not seeming very torn up about it. “I wonder how I can talk you out of it.”

“Well, too bad! You can’t!” he taunted as he stormed out of the room. He made sure to give her a sinister grin before disappearing out the door, taking her book with him.

Oh yeah, he’d show her. There was no way she wanted to stop him reading it for such a stupid reason. He’d find out exactly what she wanted to hide from him. Using an excuse as dumb as that only made him more curious.

He made a beeline for his room and locked the door shut behind him, before planting himself on the bed. Upon opening the book, he realised his first mistake. Reading was not one of his fortitudes by far, something that was clear since his previous attempts just then. But if it would lead to any sort of advantage against her, he would improve as much as possible.

After about half an hour at squinting at various words he didn’t know, he reluctantly made his way to the castle’s library in search of a dictionary. He made sure to hide his presence the best he could, not wanting Aqua to catch him struggling to do something so simple. He wanted to blame Ventus for his lack in proficiency, but in reality, it was more likely that old man’s fault. After all, what use was reading if you were just going to be a weapon someday?

He ran back to his room after finding what he was looking for, eager to get started. But just as he was about to enter, he noticed a plate on the floor outside his room, piled with brownies. In his enthusiasm for this potential new edge over Aqua, he had nearly forgotten about them. His mouth watered as the scent hit his nostrils, and he fought the urge to just devour them in the hall. But as he went to grab the plate, he spotted a note lying next to it. Picking it up, he recognised Aqua’s handwriting.

I must have just missed you. Try not to eat these all at once, and please, DO NOT get any on my book.

-Aqua

He wanted to laugh, but he picked up a brownie instead.

“That’s tempting,” he murmured. “But it’d be a waste of brownie.”

The rest of the day was spent gorging himself on the treats and doing his best to get though the book. He hadn’t found anything too incriminating so far, and after thinking about it, barely anything had happened at all. There was a girl named Iris stuck in a manor in the middle of a forest somewhere, but then this knight in silver armour showed up and helped her get outside. Vanitas wondered why she only decided to leave now, but he hadn’t gotten very far in, so it was probably too soon to say.

But he did know that he was at least enjoying the knight character. He was smart mouthed and had a retort for everything the girl said, basically a far cry from whatever image he had of a knight. And the girl was pretty good too. There was a certain scene in particular where she pulled a sword on some bandits that really got him excited. Even the knight was impressed, seeing as she did it to defend him. That’s just what happened as they went along; one of them would get in a tight spot, and the other would help them out of it.

Needless to say, he was getting invested. He arrived at training the next day, feeling proud at himself for the several chapters he managed to read. But he wasn’t ready to reveal what he learnt to Aqua just yet, especially since he hadn’t really found anything too incriminating. There had to be something within the book’s many pages that would give him a leg up over her, he just had to find it.

But at least there was something he wanted to try. As he fought against Aqua as they trained, he waited until their blades locked were locked together, all so he could get a front row seat to her reaction.

A grin came to his face. “I think I finally get it,” he began. “You parry just like that knight does.”

Her focused expression dropped out of sheer confusion. “What?”

“The way you get all close to your opponent, all the while trying to keep your face blank. But I can see right through you. I can see how much you’re enjoying this. You’re just pretending to keep cool.”

He could see the gears turning in her head. Something clicked and he felt her push her blade against him harder. Her eyes flicked up to glare at him.

“Vanitas, I really hope you’re not implying that I copied my fighting style from a fictional character.”

“No, that’s not what I said,” he scoffed. “I said you copied his attitude.”

She huffed, keeping her stance steady. “Really? If anything, I’d say you’re the one with his attitude.”

“Oh yeah?” he smirked, dropping his blade before stepping away from her. Keeping a grin on his face, he gave a short bow before speaking again. “O’ fair lady of the manor! Fear not, for I have come to rescue you!”

Without warning, Aqua burst into laughter. Vanitas pulled himself upright almost immediately, only to watch as Aqua doubled over unable to control herself. Her arms pulled against her stomach as she lay crouched on the ground, her body shaking from the sheer force of her mirth. Gritting his teeth, Vanitas bit down his encroaching embarrassment. Somehow, he expected that she would laugh at that, but not that hard.

“What was that?” she got out between laughs. “He does not sound like that.”

The sound wouldn’t stop, and Vanitas felt himself growing more and more self-conscious.

“Your memory must be bad,” he muttered through his teeth. “It’s literally the first thing he says to her.”

“Oh yeah!” Her eyes lit up as the last of her laughter died down. “I remember now. But I don’t think he was being serious back then. That sort of thing really doesn’t suit him.” She lowered her eyes to look at him. “Nor does it suit you.”

It felt like there was something hidden behind what she said, and the way she looked at him didn’t help how antsy he felt. But still, she had a point about the knight, seeing as he dropped that kind of thing very quickly. It just meant he had to try again.

“Oh yeah?” Vanitas began. “Well then, I could say something like, ‘It’s not every day I get to see someone as pretty as you fight like that.’”

The moment that left his lips, he wanted to dissolve into darkness where he stood. Alarm filled his head, especially when he saw Aqua’s gaping mouth, and her reddening face.

Why did he say something like that?

“W-wait,” he stammered, feeling his own face burn. “I was just quoting the stupid book.”

“Yes, of course.” Aqua was stammering herself. She placed a hand over her chest and tool a few deep breaths, all the while avoiding his eyes. That scarlet red on her face had yet to retreat.

Seeing that, he could put aside his own horror for just a moment.

It was dumb. So stupid. But the way she reacted… was very interesting.

“What?” he swallowed. “Do you like hearing that sort of stuff?”

She spun away from him entirely, doing what she could to hide her face from him, but it was far too late. He had already seen enough to know her answer.

“It…it’s not like that,” she argued, her arms crossed over herself. “I just… didn’t expect to hear something like that from you.”

He didn’t exactly expect it either. Out of the dozens of things he could have said, why that? It’s like something inside him was trying to lay out every one of his thoughts right in front of her.

But something managed to calm him down and allow him to think again. He just needed to remember what he was trying to do. When he decided to read that book, he’d gone into it with the intention of finding something that would upend her. He just hadn’t expected this sort of thing to do the trick. There was no way it was something so simple.

Yet there was an obvious problem glaring him right in the face. What if she got some kind of weird idea from all this? If he went too far, she might be able to piece together what he wanted to keep hidden from her. But then, that rational part of his brain screamed out that it would be the best way to destroy her. Butter her up with sappy garbage, only to pull the rug out from under her when the time was right. Crush her heart. Rip the light right out of her.

That’s what he should do. He knew it. But something made him hesitate. Picturing a victory like that left a bitter taste in his mouth and made something in his chest ache. He wondered if he was even capable of such a thing anymore. It wouldn’t be a normal battle; it’d be closer to what she was doing to him. Something psychological that wouldn’t leave him alone. It was funny to think of himself sinking to her level, especially with how moral and just she thought she was.

Maybe she did deserve a taste of her own medicine.

“So,” he began, wanting to know one thing for sure. “It caught you off guard?”

Her eyes flashed toward him in a sort of panic, confirming what he said without her having to speak. But she spoke anyway, after regaining some of her composure.

“…Yes, it did.”

That was it. He couldn’t let something this useful to his fight get away from him.

The problem was even though he wanted to deceive her with this, it was way too close to the truth for comfort.

But she couldn’t know about his turmoil, so he shot her a grin, hiding his conflict beneath it.

“Good. I’ll have to remember that.”

The days passed and Vanitas fell into a routine. When he wasn’t training with Aqua, he was scouring the pages of that book for anything he could use. The actual events in the story were mostly background noise, with all his focus on that girl and knight and how they interacted with one another. Especially the things he said to the girl. The things that left her a stammering mess.

And when Vanitas was training, he made sure to quote such lines at Aqua to see what got the best reaction. It wasn’t always the really intense stuff; he made sure to sprinkle in some of the more generic lines for his own sanity. Results were mixed, but almost every time he at least got a laugh or groan out of her, with the occasional eye roll to spice things up.

But there were also the times she was left speechless, completely unable to form a proper response. Those lines took the most of his willpower to use, but the result was almost worth it every time. He’d even used those instances to gain an upper hand and came the closest he had since being back to disarming her.

It should have been as simple as that, but there was still that huge issue staring him in the face, that became harder and harder to ignore. And as he read along, it only got worse. It didn’t matter how hard he focused on his goals, how hard he tried to remember why he was even doing this, there was always one thing that would draw his attention without fail.

It was how the two characters acted around each other. He had known from the get-go what he was getting into, and even though there was a lot he didn’t know, he at least knew what a romance story involved. He wasn’t entirely sure where that knowledge came from; maybe it was something Ventus picked up, but he wasn’t interested in knowing the story behind it.

Regardless, reading about those two and how close they were getting left him rattled. There was something eerily familiar about the whole thing. They were so comfortable with each other, so happy to be in each other’s presence, but it definitely hadn’t started that way. It all came to a head when they kissed for the first time, and he had to put the book down.

Because all he could think about was Aqua.

This was all her fault for comparing him to that knight. Now nothing Vanitas did would get it out of his mind. It didn’t help that she and the girl had some similarities too, even though he would argue that Aqua was miles better than her. They may have both being annoyingly strait-laced, yet Aqua had a different, more intriguing side to her. Because he knew for a fact that if those two characters got into a serious fight with one another, they wouldn’t enjoy it nearly as much as when Aqua fought him. Despite whatever denial came out of her mouth, he felt as if he could see into her heart during those moments, and he relished it. There was no way the sort of relationship they had could be compared to a story like this.

Even that thought made him tense. Relationship? What did that word even mean for them anymore? He knew she enjoyed their fights, yet he was also well aware that she stupidly wanted them to be friends, and still didn’t really know why. It took a while, but he managed to crush down his initial reaction he had that night, and the idea of friendship started to irk him again. But not quite for the reason he expected. Imagining himself being dumped along her line-up of friends was aggravating enough to nearly make him smash something. He couldn’t stand the thought of being put in the same category as Ventus and Terra. That should have been proof enough that the way he thought of her hadn’t changed, but that didn’t feel as convincing as it should have.

He definitely didn’t want to be her friend; he was certain of that. But that’s where it stopped, and he didn’t dare to think on it further.

But this book was testing him. Reading that kiss had started to unlock something within him, and his mind began to wander again. He pictured Aqua in front of him, giving that smile he was getting used to. The smile he even started to crave. But he couldn’t push that thought any further. He just couldn’t. The idea of something like that happening in reality was completely unfathomable.

Yet for some reason, the thought was starting to seem not so bad. After every other weird thing that happened between them, maybe this sort of thing was the natural progression.

He felt a sudden urge to toss the book, but stopped himself just in time, placing it on his bed instead. With his hands now free, he tugged at his hair.

What was he doing? Truly? He was disgusted with himself. It wasn’t that he forgot what he was supposed to do, it was like he had given up entirely. Defeating her was the only purpose he had anymore, or at least it was supposed to be. She was the centre of everything now, but he no longer knew what that really meant. He tried to remember when he stopped feeling such contempt for her, and he couldn’t come up with an answer.

She defeated him. Humiliated him. And yet…

Groaning to himself, he picked up the book again. He had gotten this far, and he wasn’t one to give up. And even if he hadn’t found exactly what he was looking for, he did feel like he was slowly learning more and more about her. For now, that was enough. He didn’t need to think on the reason he was trying too hard.

About a week later, he strolled into the main hall as Aqua did her stretches one morning, waving her book in his hand.

“Here,” he called out. “You can have it back now.”

She stopped what she was doing as he approached, caught by surprise. As he held the book to her, her eyes flicked between it and his face, like she expected some kind of trick.

“You… finished it?”

“Yeah,” he groaned. “Such a waste of time. Here I thought there’d be something incriminating, but there was nothing like that at all.”

Her eyes were still wide in shock as she carefully took the book from his hands.

“Wait, so you really read this?” she asked again, jabbing at it with her finger. “All of it?”

After all that, did she not even believe him? Sure, he knew it was a weird thing for him to do, but if he wanted to keep up appearances, he could have easily just said he burnt it or something. He frowned at her.

“That’s what I said, isn’t it? But I gotta know something.”

“What is it?”

There was one thing he hadn’t managed to figure out, and now was the time to ask. He trained his eyes on hers, goading her into not running away from it.

“During this whole thing, you’ve been acting so weird. Not just when I was reading along, but also when I first picked it up. I still don’t get why.”

He said that, but it wasn’t entirely true. He did have an inkling about what was going on, but it was too absurd to even consider. It didn’t matter what sort of crazy theories he came up with, the only real answer he’d be able to get would have to be straight from her.

When studying her face, he noted how taken aback she seemed. But it felt obvious that he would ask that sort of thing, especially after the way she had been behaving. Just as he was about to ask again, she swallowed and began to answer.

“Sorry,” she spoke, looking away from him. “It’s just… not something I get to talk about with many people.”

“What, the kissing stuff?”

She jolted, and pink began flooding her cheeks. That sight alone left him feeling satisfied for some reason. He knew he had been onto something, but there was still so much he didn’t know for certain. He couldn’t let it end there.

“Don’t say it like that,” Aqua got out through her teeth. “And I definitely don’t want to talk about it with you.”

Something about what he said definitely had her on edge. And while he wished she would just come out and say what was on her mind, he was still enjoying this situation somewhat. Still, the more he pondered her reactions, the more something screamed at him. It was like deep inside, he already knew why she was acting this way, but there was something stopping him from fully grasping it. Like it was something that should never be spoken.

But then he thought of something, almost like a compromise.

Only it was such a dumb one.

“Don’t tell me,” he began. “You want some knight to show up and whisk you away.”

She let out a choking noise, her face turning bright red. Initially, he thought it was from embarrassment again, but then he picked up on the pure fury emanating from her. Her body began shaking, like she was doing all she could not to summon her Keyblade and strike him down where he stood.

“Is that what you think of me?” she sputtered. “I’ll have you know; I’m not waiting around for anything! Especially not something like that!”

Vanitas could only stare up at her, too amused to react properly. He would have almost been scared too if he hadn’t felt like he hit the mark.

“Woah,” he muttered. “Didn’t expect that to make you so mad.”

She was still shaking, the fury settling in her eyes as she glared daggers at him. But then it settled, turning into a cold sort of acceptance.

“I knew it. I knew you’d make fun of me.”

Her words made him stall. Of course, she thought he was mocking her. But to be honest, the thought hadn’t even crossed his mind this time. He thought he was genuinely asking a question.

“Aqua, I’d like to think that you’d know by now when I’m making fun of you. And yeah, you’re making too easy right now. But I was seriously asking a question just then.”

“Seriously?” She spoke the word like she couldn’t even believe she was hearing it. “You expect me to believe that? What kind of answer did you want anyway?”

She was yelling now, and Vanitas was still in awe about how much she got riled up. Even so, it was starting to wear on him, especially since he didn’t know the root of the issue.

“Look,” he began, now meeting her glare head on. “I don’t know what your problem is. Do you really think I know everything you’re thinking? But I’ll tell you one thing, I know what I asked was stupid. Because I know that if you had the choice, you would not be waiting around for someone to come get you for any reason. You’ve done enough of that already, haven’t you? So why don’t you stop avoiding it and tell me what’s really going on.”

A haunted look flashed across her eyes, and Vanitas cursed himself. She must have been thinking about her time in the Realm of Darkness, and that wasn’t something he wanted to remind her of now.

“Sorry,” she muttered, her former anger now deflated. “You’re right, I shouldn’t have reacted like that. But you have to understand, I don’t usually talk about this kind of thing with the others.”

“You mean those books?”

She nodded. “Yeah. I haven’t even talked to Ven or Terra about it, even though I read them all the time.”

Vanitas had to choke back the relief he felt. Yet, he also felt an odd sense of pride. That grew to astonishment when he realised something.

“Wait, let me get this straight,” he began. “You haven’t told your best friends about your favourite hobby, but you told me?”

Aqua huffed. “Well, you did stumble across it. I wouldn’t have shown you something like that if I could help it.”

“But why hide it from them? Aren’t friends supposed to know what you like to do?”

He was surprised when he saw the sadness cross her face.

“You’re right, but…” She hesitated but continued before long. “Look I really don’t want to tell you this, but there was an… incident. A long time ago, when it was just Terra and me.”

Terra again. Vanitas clenched his teeth.

“Go on.”

She sighed. “We were kids, and he’s probably forgotten all about it. But I used to read a lot of fairy tales about princesses and dragons and all that. Then one day he found one of the ones I liked to read and teased me about it. I guess he just didn’t understand how I could like something like that but still be training to be a warrior.”

There was truly no limit to that meathead’s stupidity. Aqua must have sensed Vanitas getting angry so she kept talking.

“But like I said, that was a long time ago. That sort of thing just sticks with you. Just… please don’t tell Terra I told you about it. And please don’t think badly of him either, he really was just a kid back then.”

“Are you kidding? I already think badly of him and that didn’t help at all.”

Aqua didn’t seem too impressed by that, but she didn’t look like she wanted to argue. She frowned.

“I really wish you didn’t think that way, but I guess these things just take time. Still,” she spoke as she held out the book in front of her again. “I can’t believe you of all people read this whole thing.”

The way she said that irked him for some reason.

“And what exactly do you mean by that?”

“No, sorry. That came out wrong.” After her stammering, she took a breath. “I… Thank you. For reading it. I really mean it.”

This shift in emotion was throwing him off. She had just been mad at him not a minute ago, and now she was thanking him?

He balked at her. “What? What for?”

There was no way of predicting what she would do next. Just when he thought things couldn’t get weirder, her eyes shifted towards his and made his mind nearly stop in its tracks. Those eyes were shining in a way he hadn’t seen before. It wasn’t even the normal happiness he had seen before. It was pure gratitude.

“I love Ven and Terra, but I know they never would have read this all the way to the end,” she spoke, placing the book over her chest. “They never would have taken it as seriously as you did. You even borrowed a dictionary and everything.”

She knew? His face heated up. “What? Don’t be stupid. That was unrelated.”

Despite his efforts, Aqua let out a smile, not seeming too convinced.

“Still,” she continued. “You should have just told me if you were having trouble reading it. There’s no shame in asking for help, and I would have gladly given it to you.”

She absolutely would have, but he’d rather die than ask for her help for something like that.

“But I didn’t need it, did I?”

“I guess not,” she said, that smile still pointed at him. She took the book and placed it on the banister. “But I have to admit, I was a bit worried at first. I was sure you were only doing it as some elaborate joke. And to be honest, I still don’t really know why you went to so much trouble.”

He had to look away from her. “I told you. It was to look for weaknesses.”

“Did you find any?”

Technically, he did. He found many. But they were all things he would struggle to utilise. He knew he could do it if he swallowed his pride and pushed through, and it would be worth it too. There were so many things the knight told the girl that he felt embarrassed just remembering. He really could have gone all out and spewed out all those honeyed words, but just the thought of it was enough to make his head spin. And since he knew how she reacted to the more minor things he said, he couldn’t imagine what would happen if he went bigger.

And knowing he would be the cause of whatever face she pulled made something burn on the inside.

“…No, I didn’t,” he grumbled. “That’s why I said it was a waste of time.”

She didn’t say anything for a moment, but he could feel her eyes boring into him. It felt like every time he tried to mask what he was thinking, she would only see right through him. The only reason he was still trying at this point was so he could hang onto whatever shred of pride he had left.

But he could feel it already crumbling away. He needed to think of something to say, that would truly hide what he was thinking.

Only he didn’t get a chance. Not before Aqua started striding towards him. He only noticed when she was already in front of him, reaching for his hands. She pulled them towards her, embracing them in her grip.

Vanitas was left completely stunned. His mind ran a million miles a minute, just trying to process it. He went to pull his hand away out of reflex, but her grip only tightened.

“Let me ask you something,” she spoke, all of her focus him. Her hands were too warm. Not only that, she was close enough that he could feel the warmth coming off her body. At the state he was in, she could take him out right now and he wouldn’t notice. Or even mind.

He swallowed back the lump in his throat. “What?”

“Do you still want to destroy me?”

That was the last thing he wanted her to ask. Because he no longer had an answer. He could only look away, hoping for once she didn’t notice how conflicted he felt.

“Because, if you ask me,” she continued. “I don’t think you want to anymore.”

He gritted his teeth. Here she was reading him again. Telling him things he wasn’t willing to hear.

“What makes you so sure?”

His voice felt weak, even though he did his best to sound intimidating. He wished he could just turn off whatever part of himself left him feeling this way.

Aqua hummed at his question, her thumb brushing along his hand. “Intuition? There’s also the fact that we’ve been alone here for a while now and you haven’t tried to pick a fight with me outside of training. And I know it’s not just because you want to be ready.”

He could barely hear what she was saying from the way his heart thudded in his ear. His face felt like it was on fire, and he only hoped he could hide its burning under anger. It took a lot of willpower, but he managed to pull his hand from hers and send her a seething look. Her warmth still lingered.

“You don’t know anything,” he hissed. “Stop pretending like you do.”

“I’m not pretending,” she said, retracting her arms. She had a similar look on her face as she did that night. And any other time she felt sorry for him. She took a step back before speaking again. “I’m just telling you what I really think. And I really wish you’d do the same.”

“Really? I’m sure I’ve told you plenty of times already.”

“That was then. What about now? What are you even trying to prove anymore?”

“Would you shut up?” he yelled. “I don’t want to talk about this!”

“Fine,” she spoke. Her expression finally dropped, and she started looking annoyed again. “You don’t have to tell me. But I don’t want you to keep lying to yourself like this. It isn’t healthy.”

He grabbed at the side of his head, tempted to start pulling at his hair. “Ugh, you sound just like Ventus. He thinks he knows me too.”

“Maybe it’s because neither of us want to see you suffer anymore.”

Vanitas didn’t have a response to that. He didn’t want to say anything. Not when everything he had been trying to build was crumbling around him. He lowered his hands, trying to think of how to get out of this.

“Listen,” Aqua continued, still having more to say. “I just hope you know that you don’t have to be alone anymore. Even if you don’t accept it, it’s the truth.”

“Maybe I like being alone.”

“No, you don’t. You told me as much that night.”

He clenched his fist. She was right, and he hated himself for revealing so much. He shot her a glare, hoping it didn’t come across as pained as he felt.

But something still didn’t make sense to him.

“I want to know why you care so much,” he muttered. “And don’t say it’s because you want to be friends.”

“But that is why,” she insisted. Her eyes looked as if they were pleading him. “I know you think I’m scheming something, but I promise I’m not.”

He scoffed, almost on instinct. “Right. I keep forgetting how seriously you people take friendship. But don’t forget, I never agreed to any of it.”

Aqua went silent after that. But he knew it wasn’t over. She wasn’t the type to let things go so easily.

“Vanitas,” she spoke up after a moment of being deep in thought. “You didn’t answer the question before. Do you still want to destroy me?”

She really wasn’t going to let it go. He wanted so badly to tell her yes. To tell her that he dreamed of the day she lay dead under him. The day he’d finally be free of her. But something was stopping him. It was the exact same thing that made him act like an idiot at everything she did.

When he didn’t answer, she continued.

“Alright,” she sighed. “I get it. But do you wanna know why I need an answer?”

“Why?”

She shook her head. “I need a response first.”

That sneaky…

Vanitas glared daggers at her. He couldn’t believe he’d fallen for that bait, and he would have given anything to be able to walk away in that moment.

“…So what?” he got out. “Why does it matter? You think you can stop me anyway.”

“What matters is your intentions. But it’s okay. I think I’ve seen enough.”

“I’ll say when you’ve seen enough,” he hissed. “Now, why don’t you start telling me what the hell you’re talking about?”

Despite his demands, she took the time to pause, like she was summoning the words for something.

“I’ve been keeping in touch with the others,” she began. “They haven’t really been able to get anywhere over in Radiant Garden, so they’ll be back in a day or so to regroup. But before that, I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Then spit it out.”

Vanitas almost regretted pushing her like that. Especially as she began staring into him with such an intensity that he couldn’t look away.

“After they get back, I want to end your probation.”

He thought he misheard her.

“You… what?”

“You heard me,” she smiled at him. “I want you to be able to get a fresh start. Maybe even go out to other worlds. And if you like, maybe we can even restart your training. Officially.”

Vanitas took a step back, unable to believe what he was hearing.

“Are you kidding me?” he choked out. “Just like that, you wanna let me off my leash?”

“I know what you’re thinking,” she spoke. She took a step towards him, but she was still keeping her distance. “But this wasn’t a sudden decision. I’ve been thinking about it for a while now, and even Ven and Terra agree that it’s time.”

That might have been the most shocking part about this whole thing. At least he’d already accepted that Aqua had something wrong with her head. He could see Ventus doing something like this, but he imagined Terra would sooner chain him up in the basement than let him out anywhere.

“Are you serious?”

She nodded. “Yep. It seems we all wouldn’t mind having you as part of our little group. But that’s up to you of course. I don’t want to force you into anything.”

It took a while, but he had finally calmed down enough to think. There was no way she was serious. It had to be some weird joke, but it wasn’t a funny one. There were just way too many things wrong with what she was saying.

“So, let me see if I’ve got this right,” he began. “The three of you allegedly want me to join your little circle of friends, after I’ve tried to kill you all. And you’ll stop keeping such a close eye on me?”

“Yep,” she nodded. “That’s pretty much it.”

He balked. “You know, if you stop keeping watch over me, what’s stopping me from leaving?”

“Unless you know how to use a Keyblade Glider, I don’t think you can. But that is something we can teach you.”

Now he could finally laugh. Took a while, but the joke was finally funny.

“So, you wanna give me the tools I need to threaten the worlds again?” he taunted. “You know, you had me going for a minute there, but no one is that stupid.”

When she hadn’t replied, he let his laughter die down to see her reaction. She didn’t seem nearly as amused as he was. In fact, her expression was sterner than ever.

“I’m being serious, Vanitas!” she argued. “And you can’t keep saying stuff like that. Do you want to be stuck here with me forever?”

Something in him jolted at the ‘with me forever’ part. Whatever remaining bit of laughter he had got caught in his throat. Aqua must have realised her slip up from the way her cheeks turned pink.

“I meant with us. Because… we can’t let you go if we think you might do stuff like that.”

He opened his mouth but stopped himself before he could say something stupid. He was so close to telling her that she was doing a bad job at convincing him to behave.

Because if he pretended those other two idiots didn’t excuse, staying there didn’t seem as bad anymore. And he hated that he felt that way now.

“Fine,” he muttered. “I’m not making any promises, but I’ll go along with it for now. Besides, the sooner I can get away from here the better.”

He just had to keep pushing away. She couldn’t win. He wouldn’t let her.

But that look of sadness on her face was already testing him. This whole thing was ridiculous. She couldn’t be so invested; it made no sense. Fortunately, that look she gave him was gone before he was forced to ponder it further.

“That’s all I need for now,” she said. “I shouldn’t expect you to say what’s on your mind, but it’s your actions that matter more anyway.”

He rolled his eyes. “Look, I don’t know why, but I know you really want to save me or something. Bring me to the light. But if you think that’ll be easy, you have another thing coming.”

“Well, I don’t know,” she smiled. “I think I’ve been doing a good job already.”

“Yeah, whatever helps you sleep at night.”

He would have given anything for that to be the end of the conversation, but he knew it wouldn’t be that easy. She still looked as if she was summoning the courage to say something else.

“Sorry,” she spoke up before he could ask. “I thought this would be enough, but… I really want to hear you say it.”

What did she want now? He groaned, doing his best to show how annoyed he felt.

“Say what?”

She shrugged. “Maybe something nice like, ‘Yes, I’ll be your friend,’ or ‘Thank you for believing in me.’”

That was so sappy it made him recoil. How did she even say that stuff with a straight face? She must have noticed his grimace from the way she laughed.

“Alright,” she chuckled. “I know I’m asking too much. How about this, why don’t you pick something nice to say?”

She had completely lost it. That was the only explanation.

“What? Why would I do that?”

“To be honest, there isn’t a real reason. It’ll just make me happy to hear it.”

This was starting to get too much to wrap his head around. He should have just said something rude and been done with it. That’s what the old him would have done without hesitation. But thinking of that him as ‘the old him’ was enough to know something had changed. Like some part of him already knew things were different if he couldn’t even picture doing that sort of thing now.

Not just that, why was the idea of doing something that made her happy so tempting? At this rate, he would lose everything that made him him. He’d be a mindless pawn of the light with no will of his own. And it’d be all her fault.

The worst part is she could see it too. She could see his conflict, and the fact he had spent so long in silence should have screamed out that he was actually considering what she said. That he was really thinking about doing something to make her smile.

“Fine,” he spoke after a while, unable to meet her gaze. “I guess there are worse things than being stuck here with you.”

It had been a while and she hadn’t responded to that, which almost felt worse. Unable to take it, he glanced at her reaction.

He thought he’d been prepared, but nothing could have prepared him for that look she gave him. That look of awe. That soft smile. Those shining eyes.

All at once, he felt his world start to shake. That fractured heart of his slammed against his chest, making its presence all too clear. That stupid thing was getting harder and harder to ignore.

And now he was starting to get a better idea of what it meant.

“I’m happy to hear that,” spoke Aqua, that beaming smile attacking him relentlessly. “Truly. It means a lot to me.”

“Would you shut up,” he muttered, not coming across particularly angry. “You’re the one who goaded me into it. And don’t expect any more, I’ve done enough for you as it is.”

She let out a laugh, one that seeped into his very being. “I guess so. You did read my favourite book after all.”

“Ah, so it is your favourite.”

“Yes,” she beamed. “I thought I made that obvious. And wouldn’t it be something if it became your favourite too?”

He scoffed. “What? It’s way too soon for that.”

“Well then, I guess you’d better read more books to compare it to.”

It was an invitation. All she was doing was opening herself up more and more, but he still was at a loss as to why.

Even so, he wasn’t about to refuse. Even if he was no longer certain of his own motives.

“Okay, fine,” he spoke. “I’ll take you up on that offer.”

She let out another smile. His mind still felt stalled, but a nagging thought was starting to push through.

“That’s good. I’ll-”

“Aqua.”

He spoke her name, stopping whatever she was going to say. Her eyes were on him again, enough that he almost lost his nerve.

“Just…” he began. “Just tell me something. What do you hope to gain from all this? For… trusting me.”

Her expression stilled as she took in what he was asking. She opened her mouth, but no sound came out. After a few more attempts, her eyes flicked away. It was the first time he’d really seen her at a loss for words.

It seemed like an eternity before she finally spoke.

“I think… I just want to believe in you. I know things haven’t been the greatest, but I really hope that can change. And I told you the truth before, I don’t want to see you suffer.”

He pondered her words. It didn’t feel like she was lying, but it felt like she had left some things out. Or maybe that was wishful thinking.

Wishful thinking of what? What had he wanted her to say?

He knew his heart held the answer, but he refused to reach in and check. There was no way he could let it end up like this.

“But Aqua,” he spoke, holding down what he felt. “Are you sure you won’t regret it?”

It was supposed to be a taunt. But it hadn’t felt that way. And she didn’t respond to it like one.

Instead, she gave him that soft smile again.

“I could never regret something like that. Even if you were to turn back to darkness, I’d rather have tried and failed than done nothing in the first place.”

She spoke with such resolve. It amazed him that she was still so unwavering.

“But you know everything I’ve done,” he argued. “I’ve hurt you and your friends. I tried to kill you. I wanted to kill you. I still don’t understand why you’re still so willing to help me.”

“Do you regret it?”

Her question was so sharp it completely knocked him off his guard. And she knew it. She didn’t need an answer.

“What are you doing asking a question like that?” He put on a smile, trying to hide how much it got to him, but it was futile.

She was driving him nuts. And he felt as if she could see every bit of it. He wished she would just tease him for it instead, all so he wouldn’t have to feel this way.

“Do you?”

He grimaced. She could be so stubborn sometimes.

There was no choice. He began thinking it over. Soon enough, it became clear that there was only one answer he could give.

“…No.”

She seemed taken aback, almost disappointed by his response.

But that made him feel relieved. Because she didn’t know the whole reason.

Because if they hadn’t fought like that, they never would have ended up here.

He never would have known her.

He never would have gotten close to her.

He never would have…

“I see,” she spoke, bringing him out of his thoughts. “I guess it’s still a bit soon. But I haven’t changed my mind.”

She seemed so defeated by what he said. But he felt as if he dodged a bullet.

As she picked up the book and left him behind in the training area, he felt like that defiant part of his heart was still shielded from view.

Maybe he too could put it out of sight.

Before he was forced to acknowledge what grew within him.

Chapter Text

Vanitas already missed the quiet.

Sure, it came with its own set of problems, boredom being the main one. But after thinking it over, it was far better than having to share the castle with those two idiots again. It hadn’t even been an entire day since they returned, and Vanitas already wished they stayed back in Radiant Garden.

It didn’t help that Aqua forced him to be present for their return, like she hoped that would speed up the process of them all becoming friends. She had to have known it wouldn’t be that simple, even if it was something he actually wanted to do.

But as for Ventus, they hadn’t even been back an hour and he was already trying to talk to him. Even as they spoke about their findings, or lack thereof, his attention drifted towards Vanitas far more than he liked. Vanitas made the mistake at looking at him once, and he felt like his mind had been pulled open before him.

I’ve started to sense some of what you’re feeling.

He would have given anything for that to not be true. And it still might not be. He tried to rationalise that all his other did was become weirdly perceptive, but even that was getting harder and harder to do. Especially with the way the idiot smirked at him whenever Aqua even looked in his direction.

That was what he hated most of all.

They had gone their separate ways after that, Vanitas ensuring that he was the first to leave. He hoped the group would take the chance to catch up as friends and leave him alone, at least for a little while. There was a lot of thinking he still had to do about how to get out of this mess.

He wandered the halls, not really feeling like going back to his room. That would be the first place they’d look for him. Going by that logic, he found himself at the library, hoping to use this time to breathe. The library wasn’t large by any means, consisting of little more than a handful of bookshelves, but Vanitas still managed to find a corner to sit in. He wasn’t intending to hide; he just needed a moment to himself. And besides, ignoring Ventus, Aqua was the only person who could imagine him going there.

Just that thought was enough to make Vanitas pause. He wanted to laugh. Of course she was still on his mind. He shouldn’t even be surprised anymore. It didn’t matter how badly some of their interactions went, or how badly he wanted to throw himself out the nearest window after some of them, she still lingered in his head no matter what he did. After the weeks they had spent together, he had even gotten to the point where he admitted to enjoying her company. When she wasn’t lecturing him about something, she was actually pretty fun to be around. Especially with her responses to the things he said. He could spend all day saying things to rile her up and never get bored.

But that wasn’t always the case, and he knew it. If he said something particularly harsh, she would just shut off and have to be alone for a while, which was no fun for anyone. The worst instance was after he told her he didn’t regret what he did in the past. She didn’t even start speaking to him normally again until her friends were nearly through the door.

Even so, Vanitas wouldn’t take those times back. Because it was like he was reminding her of who he really was. Or that’s what he told himself, needing to shield himself from that ache that usually followed. But thinking of why he ached at all was dangerous.

Whatever it was, he knew it would catch Ventus’ attention if he let it linger too long. Even that felt like delaying the inevitable. All he could do now was avoid the idiot. It wasn’t a permanent solution seeing as they lived in the same castle, but Vanitas hoped if he avoided talking to him long enough, then he’d get bored and go bother someone else. Maybe in the meantime he could work on controlling his emotions better.

But he knew Ventus also had that weird radar, so it’s not like he could find somewhere to hide. And he wasn’t one for hiding in the first place. In the end, Vanitas left the library and started wandering towards the kitchen.

Why? Because he knew Aqua had a stash of sweets there, and he needed to be in a better mood for whatever was to come.

He already knew what he was going for too. Once he was in the kitchen, he immediately headed for the freezer and grabbed the small container of ice-cream hidden near the back. Aqua brought it out one evening when they were alone and told him to help himself. And indeed he did. He would have even if she told him not to. There wasn’t a lot left, so he grabbed a spoon and started shovelling the dessert straight into his mouth.

Almost as soon as he went for the second bite, the door swung open. Vanitas spun around with the spoon still hanging from his mouth, groaning when he saw Ventus in the doorway. So much for that.  To make things worse, Terra wasn’t far behind, and the two of them looked as if they had been in the middle of a conversation. Both of them froze when they caught sight of Vanitas, and the three of them stood at an impasse for what felt like an eternity. Ventus was the first to break the silence after a while, by letting out a nervous laugh.

“Well, I see you found the ice-cream.”

Vanitas took the spoon from his mouth. “I found it weeks ago, idiot.”

To his dismay, the two entered the room and planted themselves on the stools at the other side of the counter. He didn’t even have to look at Ventus to know he had something he wanted to say, but for some reason he was holding it back. As Vanitas shifted his gaze to Terra, he picked up why. Maybe he didn’t want to say anything in front of the meathead.

Said meathead met his glare before letting out a sigh.

“Listen,” he began. “It seems like we’re all gonna be training together now. So why don’t we start over.”

Vanitas blinked at him. He took care to set down the tub of ice-cream before turning back to Terra. Then he burst into laughter. Terra narrowed his eyes, but that wasn’t going to stop him.

“Look,” Vanitas spoke, wiping the tears from his eyes. “We may have to live in the same castle or whatever, but that doesn’t mean I have to like you.”

“Maybe not,” conceded Terra as he crossed his arms. “But that doesn’t mean we can’t be civil.”

“Or what?” Vanitas let out a taunt. “You’ll tell me off?”

Terra sighed again. “No, I’ll get Aqua to do it.”

Vanitas froze at the name. He recovered as fast as he could, but worried it wasn’t quick enough. Doing his best to mask his jump in emotion, he forced a grin to his face.

“And what? Do you think she’ll be able to do anything?”

“Yep.”

Both of them spun towards Ventus, who looked as if he hadn’t meant to speak up judging from the hand over his mouth. Vanitas glared at him.

“Don’t be stupid.” He said it as a warning, urging Ventus not to press the issue. At least Terra spoke up again before he could get the chance.

“I agree,” he said. “I think she’s the only one who can get through to you. You didn’t kill each other while we were gone, so that has to mean something.”

It wasn’t the reprieve Vanitas was looking for. He scowled at the two of them.

“Would you shut up?”

“You know she’s talking to Master Yen Sid on your behalf as we speak, right?” Terra continued. “She wouldn’t be doing that unless she was sure you could be trusted.”

That old Master. It seemed like he was the one they all reported to now. That must have been why Aqua wasn’t in the kitchen with the rest of them. Of course, she would have to speak with the old man about ending his probation.

But she’s a Master herself. She should be able to just do it without anyone else’s input. The problem was whether she should at all, and he hoped these idiots realised that.

If they didn’t, he just needed to show them. He grinned.

“And how do you know I haven’t just been tricking her this whole time? She told me all kinds of things about letting me leave the world, giving me a Keyblade glider. What if that’s exactly what I’m after?”

Terra’s eyes narrowed. “Aqua’s smarter than that. And I trust her judgement completely.”

“And you know I’ve seen it too,” spoke up Ventus. “If you were really plotting something, I’d know it.”

Vanitas flinched. Of course he would. Just the thought of it was enough to make him sick.

“Don’t you people have something better to do?” Vanitas asked them. “Don’t you have friendship bracelets to make or something?”

Terra shrugged. “We’re just waiting for Aqua to finish up. Thought we might try to clear the air before that happens.”

“And how’s that going for you?”

He smirked. “Better than I thought.”

“I mean, I was sure you would have stormed off by now,” added Ventus. “So I see this as progress.”

Vanitas glared at them. Everyone was acting so stupid. It didn’t matter whatever praising words Aqua used to describe them; they would always be idiots to him. He thought back to that story she told him, about the time Terra made fun of her when they were kids. He smirked.

So stupid.

He was tempted to storm off now, just to spite them. But then he sensed a presence on the other side of the door. His heart started racing as he turned towards it, just in time to watch it open. A flash of blue hair appeared on the other side.

Aqua stepped inside before he could gather himself and cast her gaze over the room. Vanitas watched her eyes soften when she caught sight of her friends, and that gentle smile formed on her face not long after. It was clear how much she had missed them. But there was no time to prepare before she turned to look at him. When their eyes met, her smile brightened just slightly, enough to make something in him shudder. Her very being shone, its light creeping into every corner of his heart.

Her eyes were locked onto him far longer than the others. It took a while for him to notice, but when he did, it left him feeling strangely euphoric. Despite that, he was still so vulnerable under her gaze. It was almost like hypnotism.

Sucking in a breath, Vanitas turned his head away before he could completely lose himself. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Ventus staring at him, with that same prodding look as earlier. But before Vanitas could flash him another warning, Ventus had turned his attention back to the woman in front of them.

“I’m surprised you’re all in here,” she said, letting out a chuckle as she strolled towards them. “The food in Radiant Garden wasn’t that bad, was it?”

“Not at all,” Ventus said while leaning on the counter. “Just talking with Vanitas.”

Just like that, she lit up even more. It was starting to make him dizzy.

She clapped her hands together. “That’s great! It’d be wonderful if you all could get along.”

“Don’t hold your breath,” Vanitas muttered.

He wasn’t looking, but he just knew everyone was staring at him. Aqua’s gaze felt especially poignant. She couldn’t still be surprised, could she? It didn’t matter if the two of them got along, that doesn’t mean he’d automatically start liking her friends. He wouldn’t even say he and Aqua got on that great, not from all the arguing they do. Even if he did feel it was one-sided at times.

After being silent for a while, Aqua sighed and began walking closer to him. Vanitas felt a flare of panic well up within him, but he quashed it down just as she stopped beside him. Unlike the others, she wasn’t happy with just staring at him from across the counter. She stood dangerously close to him, forcing Vanitas to do nothing but focus on his breathing. He refused to let on just how much she affected him. But that was hard to do when her mere presence was filling most of his senses. That light she always wore felt more potent than ever, indicative of her good mood.

Then she began reaching toward him and that panic began to return. He was terrified she might touch him and was even more terrified of how he’d react.

“So, how did the meeting go?” Ventus spoke up.

His voice was like getting a bucket of ice water splashed on him. Vanitas was immediately knocked out of his own head and as unbelievable as it was, he was thankful to hear Ventus’ voice in that moment. Even Aqua had stopped her movement.

“It went pretty well,” she said. Vanitas had to hold back his relief as she shifted away from him and moved closer to Ventus. “Master Yen Sid trusts my judgement, and he said if I believe Vanitas is moving away from that dark path, then he sees no problem with treating him like any other Keyblade wielder.”

Vanitas scowled. Her tone irritated him for some reason, like she still saw him as a pet they had to retrain. He went to argue, but Ventus spoke up before he got a chance.

“So, I guess he’ll be training with us after all,” he said with a grin. “Can’t wait to show you how strong I’ve gotten.”

He was so cheerful about it that it made Vanitas want to vomit. But he settled for scoffing.

“Doesn’t matter how strong you get, you’re still an idiot.”

“Hey!”

“Alright,” spoke up Aqua, stepping between them. “There’ll be time for that later.”

Vanitas was about to let out another quip, but Aqua turned her attention back to him and it died in his throat.

“Actually,” she began. “I came here because I was looking for you. I need to talk to you about something, if that’s alright.”

He watched her, noting something unsaid in her expression. It was almost like she was nervous. And she wanted to talk alone.

But what was there to talk about? Was the meeting worse than she was letting on?

No, that couldn’t be it. She wouldn’t be so happy if that were the case.

“Fine,” he groaned, wanting to get it over with. He pushed past her to get out the door, ignoring the others. As it was her idea, he expected her to be close behind. It still took a few moments longer than he would have liked, probably because she must have been saying a few more words to Ventus and Terra. Luckily, he barely had the time to feel annoyed by it before she emerged from the kitchen.

“Sorry about this,” she said, closing the door behind her. “But I wanted to speak with you, and I didn’t want to put you on the spot in front of the others.”

He raised an eyebrow at her. “What is it? Something wrong?”

She shook her head. “No, nothing like that. But why don’t we go somewhere else to talk.”

Vanitas stared at her. From her expression, it didn’t seem like anything bad had happened, but this all still put him on edge. When he realised that she was waiting for a response, he gave her a quick nod, and she took that as a cue to start leading him down the hall.

The entire time he watched her back, trying to figure out what she wanted to tell him. Something she didn’t want her friends to hear probably. His mind began to run in several directions, some more plausible than others. He thought he would have time to sort through them, but it wasn’t long before she stopped in front of a spare room, one he even recognised.

This is where he tried to intimidate her. When he told her that his new goal was to defeat her. That all felt like it was ages ago, even though it had been a couple weeks at most. He now wondered if the room choice had something to do with this, and his mind started up again. It wasn’t until the door was shut behind him that Vanitas felt like it was safe to speak to her.

“Alright, what’s with all the secrecy?” he asked. He made sure to lean against the door, just so no one could get in or out without his permission. “Did something happen at the meeting?”

She stood a few feet away from him, and he hoped that meant he heard his silent pleas to stay away. Her eyes were on him, and she looked to be thinking over her answer. His earlier thought that it couldn’t be something bad remained as she shook her head again.

“It’s not as bad as what you’re thinking. I just wanted to check with you about something.”

“Then spit it out.”

Even if it wasn’t bad news, the secrecy was starting to get to him. She seemed to pick up on his annoyance, as let out a sigh.

“Well, I brought up your improvement with Master Yen Sid, hoping he’d agree with me that you shouldn’t need to be on probation anymore. Then he told me something. He said I’m the Master in charge here, so anything that happens here is my call.”

He wanted to laugh.

“What, you only now realised that?” he asked her. “I could have told you that. You don’t need some old man’s approval to do stuff. You’re a Master.”

“That’s right,” she said with a smile. “I am. And hopefully I could be yours too.”

“Huh?”

Vanitas stalled. None of the scenarios in his mind were anything like this. Aqua kept gazing at him, her determination growing.

“If it’s alright with you, I would like to become the Master who trains you.”

He stared at her. But now he was just confused.

“Why are you asking?” he said, raising an eyebrow. “I thought that was already happening.”

“Yes,” she admitted. “But this will be in a more official sense. Not a whole lot will really change, but the main thing is you’ll be expected to train with the others as well.”

His face dropped. “Seriously?”

Even though it was a dumb thought to have, he hoped that wouldn’t have to happen. In an ideal world, he would just get to train with Aqua alone forever.

He froze, biting that thought back. Now wasn’t the time for that.

“You aren’t my only student,” Aqua pointed out, bringing Vanitas back to the conversation. “I’m helping Ven finish up his training, but he shouldn’t need much more of it. And Terra needs a refresher before he sits the exam again, so he’ll be joining us too.”

“Pass.”

He was starting to get to her, he knew it. She crossed her arms.

“No, that’s not good enough,” she spoke, frowning. “If I become your official Master, you need to listen to what I say.”

“Do I even get a choice?”

His words stalled her, and Aqua placed her hand over her chin in thought.

“In Masters?” she asked. “Well, there is Master Riku, but he’s spending all his time trying to find Sora. And I don’t blame him.”

Master Riku. Vanitas remembered catching a glimpse of him here and there, but the two had never really interacted. Not that they’d had much of a chance.

Though he wore the face of his best friend, so maybe that was for the best.

“Other than him,” Aqua continued. “There is Mickey, but I don’t think he’s taking students. He mentioned being away from his kingdom too long.”

The mere thought made Vanitas grimace.

“Ugh, I don’t wanna train with the rat.”

Aqua’s eyes narrowed. “I told you-”

“‘He’s a mouse’,” he spoke back. “Don’t care. He’s still a rat in my book.”

“You don’t have to be like that. He’s a friend.”

Vanitas went to open his mouth but bit his tongue instead.

Some friend, he thought. That rat could have saved her but waited until they needed someone to fill out their ranks. It was something the two of them had in common, wasn’t it? People only came for them if they could use them somehow.

No! I refuse! I don’t care who you are, I refuse to let anyone else fade into darkness like this!

Her words from back then ran through his head, stunning Vanitas. That’s right, that wasn’t the case back then. She had nothing to gain for saving him. In fact, it was more trouble than it was worth. So why?

“Vanitas?”

“Fine,” he got out. “You want me to be your student, right? Then that’s what’ll happen. I don’t wanna train with anyone else.”

He didn’t want to look at her. Because he knew she would have one of those faces she got whenever he said something vaguely nice. And it wasn’t something he wanted to deal with right now.

But there was no getting around her voice.

“I’m glad,” she spoke. “Thank you, Vanitas.”

That voice carried all that emotion he was trying to avoid. All of that relief and happiness. There really was no escaping it. He groaned.

“But why even bring this up?” he asked, still avoiding her gaze. “You said so yourself, it won’t be much different to before.”

“That’s true,” she admitted. “But we need something more structured if you want to sit the Mark of Mastery exam eventually. And you’ll need a Master to vouch for you as well.”

Vanitas stalled. It was the first time the idea of him becoming a Master had ever been considered. It’s not like Xehanort was training him with that goal in mind.

“I don’t mean to spring this up on you,” she said, as if she noticed his hesitation. “But the idea is that Keyblade wielders train to become Masters one day.”

He chuckled and looked up at her.

“Maybe for some of us.”

Aqua met his gaze, and Vanitas already regretted looking at her. There was that sadness again.

“For all of us,” she spoke. “But still, that is if you want to. I’m not forcing you into anything, that’s why I wanted to ask away from the others.”

He grinned. “What? You thought I’d care about what they think?”

“Well, you did seem a bit uncomfortable earlier. Thought it might be better this way.”

He stiffened at her words. Great, she noticed. At least she didn’t pick up on the real reason.

“Look,” he continued. “I just hope you know what you’re getting into.”

Aqua tilted her head. “Getting into?”

She was still pretending there was nothing wrong. Vanitas just needed to remind her.

“I don’t know if you remember,” he began. “But I didn’t exactly have the typical Master and student relationship with my old Master. I don’t do training schedules, cooperation, or positive reinforcement. So I hope you’re not expecting me to lie down and be the perfect student.”

Vanitas thought that was a reasonable thing to mention, but she just chuckled at him.

“I mean, you do have to follow a little bit of what I say.”

He rolled his eyes. “I don’t think you’re taking this very seriously. Aren’t Master’s supposed to be a whole lot stricter? Not that it’ll do you any good.”

“I can be firm if I need to be.”

Now it was his turn to laugh. Her hands were on her hips in an attempt to be stern, but that smile on her face ruined the effect.

Vanitas smiled back. “I’d like to see that.”

“Would you? You probably won’t have to wait long at this rate.”

He laughed again, but he knew she was right. It was just a question of how much he could get away with. And that reminded him of something.

“Oh by the way,” he spoke up. “I should mention that I still intend to use the darkness. You can’t train that out of me.”

Of all things, that should have been the dealbreaker, but Aqua didn’t even seem fazed.

“I had a feeling,” she said with a sigh. “Look, I just don’t want you relying on it all the time. It doesn’t hurt to have some other skills.”

“I have plenty, thanks.”

Unsurprisingly, she laughed at that. “I’m sure you do. But in case you wanna learn more, we’re all going to have a training session this afternoon.”

He balked. “By ‘all’ you mean…”

“Yep. Ven and Terra will be there too. You may even get a chance to fight them again.”

This had been coming for a long time. He wasn’t thrilled about it, but he was at least interested in putting Ventus in his place again. But that thought made him groan. Just thinking about the idiot reminded him that he wanted to tell him something.

But if what happened in the kitchen was anything to go by, at least he didn’t want to say it in front of the others.

Aqua was still staring at him, and he could see her pleading him with her eyes. He hadn’t even stared back at her for longer than a few seconds before he felt himself start to crack.

“If I say no, you’ll just force me to anyway.”

“I mean,” she began, a smile creeping to her face. “I’d be disappointed. But you’re right. Even if not today, I’ll make you join us eventually.”

Even if he had the energy to fight it, it felt like there was no getting around it in the first place. She would only ask and ask until he cracked even further. Knowing there was no way out, he groaned.

“Alright fine then,” he spoke. “I’ll join the stupid training exercise.”

From the way her smile brightened, he may as well have complimented her again. She shouldn’t have been so happy that someone like him would be butting into time with her friends, but there they were.

Then to his alarm, she started marching over to him. She grabbed hold of his hand before he could react, holding it in both her palms. Vanitas’ brain short-circuited. His limbs wouldn’t respond and all he could do was gape at her in protest. If she noticed his reaction, it didn’t affect her at all.

“That’s great!” She sounded genuinely happy. “I promise you it’ll be worth it.”

As soon as she finished speaking, she released his hand and moved towards his side. It took him a few moments to realise she was trying to go out the door, and he side-stepped out of the way as quickly as possible. She gave him one last smile before leaving the room, letting the door shut behind her.

When he was sure she was gone, he raised that hand up to his face and stared at it in disbelief. He could still feel where she grabbed him, still feel her presence in that very room.

He moved his hand upwards to tug at his hair, already wanting to hit himself. How had he let her influence on him get this far? Maybe those idiots were right, and he really would just do whatever she wanted now. It was her fault too. She was way too stubborn to not get her way in the end, even if she didn’t realise it.

Her image flashed through his head, and he just had to laugh. This was all too ridiculous. He clenched his hand in a fist, like he was willing her to vanish. But no matter what he did, he still felt her there. Like she never left.

Groaning, he stormed from the room. He needed to fix this, at least before training started. But seeing as he hadn’t figured out how to yet in all the time he had been at the castle, it would take a miracle to do it before then.

The hours went by, and while he had calmed himself down somewhat, he still wasn’t looking forward to what was next. Not seeing much other choice, Vanitas made his way to the hall at the designated training time. When he pushed the doors open, he heard the clash of Keyblades ringing through the room. Ventus and Terra were already going at it from the looks of things, with Aqua watching on. Vanitas paused when he saw her, but everyone was so focused on the match that no one even noticed his arrival. Still, that would just give him a chance to observe the others.

He knew how Aqua fought pretty well by this point, but it had been a while since he’d seen the other two fight. Ventus was still as quick on his feet as always, darting out of the way whenever Terra aimed a strike. Even though the brute was slower, he was still able to react to everything Ventus threw at him. It was hard to tell who the better fighter was, especially since neither of them were really going all out. It was a shame as Vanitas would have loved to see something more intense. They should be trying to draw each other’s blood, not this baby fighting they were doing.

He sighed. This was gonna be dull.

“Oh, you’re here,” Aqua spoke up. She must have heard him. He looked over at her, part of him clamping up when he saw her warm expression.

Ah, it seemed like he hadn’t recovered at all.

The other two had stopped fighting and were staring at him as well. Ventus still had that irritating expression, one that just wouldn’t go away. It was so knowing.

Vanitas shot him a seething look before turning back to Aqua.

“You would have dragged me here if I didn’t come.”

She hummed. “Maybe, but I didn’t think that would be necessary.”

Vanitas wanted to protest, but he knew she was right. He really should have resisted more.

“Hey, Vanitas,” Ventus called out. He started walking over to him, wearing a stupid grin. “Glad you could make it.”

That smug bastard.

“Yeah, so I’m here,” Vanitas spoke, making a point to ignore Ventus. “Are we training or what? But I’m not interested in your childish playfighting. I wanna fight for real.”

“Childish?” asked Terra, dismissing his Keyblade. He too started walking closer. “If you really think that’s the case, then surely you’ll have no problem beating us.”

Vanitas glared at him, not willing to take the bait. As much as he wanted to wipe the smug looks off both of their faces, he knew that as he was now, he would struggle. He may have thought their abilities were light years away from Aqua’s, but he still knew they shouldn’t be trifled with. Especially in his current state.

But before he could say something back, Ventus stepped into his field of view.

“Hey, hope you don’t mind, but I want the first fight against you.”

Vanitas glared at him, his other’s eagerness taking him aback. But after getting over it, he was just fighting the urge to roll his eyes at him. His initial instinct was to refuse, just to taunt him. Still, he did want to fight the idiot again to see where they stood. He had to have gotten a little of his strength back by now after all. And he was still convinced Aqua was going easy on him so this might be a good test.

“Alright fine,” he groaned. “But no crying when I beat you.”

Ventus grinned at that. “That goes for you too.”

He wouldn’t even give him a chance to prepare. Summoning his Keyblade, he darted towards Ventus, using the modicum of dark power he had gotten back to close the distance. He was just using it to boost his speed, but the effort still stung. It was worth it though to see the idiot gape in surprise, but it quickly faded as he parried Vanitas with his Keyblade.

Vanitas took the chance to catch his breath. They hadn’t gotten this close since the last time they fought, and he badly wanted to blast that stupid look off his face. Before he could assess how well that would go, Ventus opened his mouth.

“Should you really be using the darkness like that?”

“How about you shut up.”

Of course he had to say something like that. He wanted to think Ventus was angry he would even use that power anymore, but there was too much concern in his voice. Vanitas cursed himself. He thought he’d been doing a good job pushing down his exhaustion from that burst, but then he remembered who his opponent was.

Probably the only person who could read him entirely. And he hated it.

“Would you get out of my head!” Vanitas yelled out, swiping back against him. Ventus had blocked the swing entirely with it not fazing him at all. Now he just looked even more worried. Even a bit confused.

“I’m not in your head.”

“You expect me to believe that!” Vanitas shouted. “I know I always hated how stupid you were, but now I really wish you’d go back to being ignorant.”

“Look, let’s just get back to the training,” said Ventus, preparing his stance again. “I know you don’t want to work this out with an audience.”

“There’s nothing to work out,” he spat, readying his own stance. “Now would you hurry up and come for me already. Before I get impatient.”

Ventus let out a sigh, but soon enough he charged and their Keyblades struck each other again.

It didn’t feel like very long ago when they once clashed like this. Vanitas had felt the power that went through them back then, that power urging them together so that their hearts may merge once more. But now, there was nothing. That was as good an indication as any that Ventus wasn’t taking this seriously. Vanitas almost goaded him, but that small shred of self-preservation he had reminded him that if they went all out right now, he’d likely just disappear into Ventus’ light. He’d rather just stop existing entirely if it came to that.

“Come on! Don’t give up!”

Vanitas swivelled his head around at the sound of Aqua’s voice. His grip on his weapon slipped, like he almost completely forgot what he was doing. Ventus took the advantage, and his Keyblade came towards him in an arc. Luckily Vanitas got his awareness back in time to block the strike. He held him back, gritting his teeth as Ventus’ smug face stared down at him.

“Hey, no getting distracted.”

Oh, he wanted to kill him.

With a newfound determination, Vanitas jutted his leg out, kicking Ventus in the stomach. His eyes widened as he was knocked away, hard enough that it almost sent him sprawling to the ground. Vanitas couldn’t help himself and let out a laugh after seeing his other caught off guard like that. He wished he could repeat that moment, but it didn’t take long for Ventus to steady his feet again. All the while, he glared at Vanitas with a pout.

“That was kinda cheap you know.”

“Oh shut up. You’re lucky it was your stomach.”

Ventus grimaced, but pretty soon he was standing straight again.

“I hope you don’t intend to win all your fights like that.”

“Of course not,” Vanitas scoffed. “I just wanted to wipe that smug look off your face.”

“Maybe so,” he said as he readied his Keyblade again. “But I was hoping you’d do that with actual skill.”

Oh, he was definitely going to kill him.

Vanitas rushed for him, this time deciding to play by the rules. Ventus prepared to intercept him, but Vanitas swerved to the side, aiming a fire spell at his back. He hoped he wouldn’t call this cheap; using spells like this at your opponent was a legitimate tactic after all. The ball of flame struck Ventus, who let out a yell, but that victory was short lived as he was far too quick to recover. Vanitas was just glad he managed to get a hit in at all, especially as he felt the drain from the spell start to kick in. It piled on top of his earlier strain from the darkness.

He forced it back, pushing a smirk to his face.

“How’s that for skill?”

Ventus stopped a few feet away from him to brush at his clothes and to let off a weak cure spell. But now he was back to how he was at the start of the fight. He gripped his shoulder with his free hand, stretching it half-heartedly.

“Didn’t quite sting as much as your attacks from back then I gotta admit.”

Vanitas clicked his tongue. He’d just need to make sure the next attack had that sting he desired. But before he could ready another strike, Ventus dismissed his Keyblade. Vanitas blinked, dropping his stance in confusion.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“Hey, I don’t wanna hog you,” said Ventus, taking the chance to stretch properly. “I think we’ve fought enough for now.”

He scoffed and raised his Keyblade at his other. “I’ll say when we’ve had enough.”

“No, I will.”

They both turned around at the sound of Aqua’s voice, watching as she approached them. He could tell already that she wasn’t very happy, and he hated how that made something twist inside him. Her eyes swept over the both of them, surveying each of them before settling on Vanitas. That disappointment was focused solely on him.

“What?” he got out. He hated how exposed he felt under her gaze.

She let out a sigh. “Seeing as I’m your Master now, it’s my job to correct you.”

“Huh?”

He should have expected that, but it still surprised him that she would try to act like a Master right away. She also didn’t seem very pleased with his response from the way her eyes narrowed.

“Your form got sloppy towards the end there,” she continued. “I can commend the use of magic, but I can’t really accept you kicking someone you parried like that.”

“Why not? You’ve done the exact same thing to me.”

She was caught off guard by his words judging from that look of confusion. There was no way Vanitas could forget that time she kicked him halfway across the room, even if she had.

“If you mean the first time we trained, it was so I could stop you doing something stupid.”

Ah, it seemed like she did remember in the end.

“Stupid?” he scoffed. “It caught you off guard from what I remember.”

“Yes, because I didn’t expect you to do something so careless.”

He groaned. He should have really expected her to have an answer for everything.

“So what? Who cares what I do in a fight? So long as I beat them, does it matter how?”

“It does matter,” she argued. “If we’re talking about that kick for example, it’s unreliable. If you miss, you’ve just thrown yourself off balance.”

“So I won’t miss.”

Vanitas forced himself to glare at her, but it was getting harder to keep focus since she wasn’t backing down. She wasn’t mad at him, he knew that much, but he could see the edge of frustration forming along her face. But he couldn’t really be blamed. He warned her he wouldn’t be a good student, and it was her fault for not listening.

But the longer he glared at her, the more her expression began to shift. His eyes were drawn to those subtle changes. Whatever irritation she had began to evaporate and was slowly being replaced by something more like concern. That should have left him feeling annoyed, but it was like he had forgotten how. She looked as if she wanted to say something, and his gaze drifted to her mouth like he was waiting for the words to come out.

“It was my fault, wasn’t it?” she spoke. “When I called out to you.”

Vanitas stiffened. So, she had been speaking to him back then. He was too caught up in the chaos at the time to give it much thought, but part of him still rationalised that she must have been speaking to Ventus. Knowing she spoke to him made something in him float, and he didn’t want to think about the reason. But that feeling was knocked down by the impending shame when he realised how obvious he was being. She knew that she was the one who distracted him. And so did everyone else in the room.

Aqua’s head tilted like she was waiting for an answer, and he spun away from her, only now grasping just how long he had spent staring at her.

“Don’t be stupid,” he spoke, determined to look anywhere else.

He needed to get a hold of himself. He knew Ventus was wearing that same look again.

Taking a breath, he tried to calm down. This was just training; he didn’t need to get so worked up. Especially over her. It needed to stop.

Just when he thought he had gotten control again, something brushed against his arm. He flinched away instinctively, his eyes shooting up to see Aqua standing over him. Her hand was frozen in mid-air, and she soon retracted it.

“Sorry,” she said, pulling it against her chest. “Listen, why don’t we get back to training. Terra hasn’t gotten a chance to fight you yet.”

She was right. He wanted to complain, but strangely enough, Terra felt like the only opponent he could tolerate right now. But if he caught wind that anything was wrong, then it really was a lost cause.

He stopped himself. What was he so afraid of? He felt like he knew the answer, but something was blocking him from realising it. Even asking himself the question felt like too much.

Terra stepped in front of him with his Keyblade out, bringing Vanitas back to reality. He summoned his own Keyblade and poured all his focus on the opponent in front of him. There was no way he’d let himself get distracted or caught off guard. Not this time.

“I’ll let you take the first hit if you like,” said Terra, as he started to circle around him. “Wouldn’t be fair if I took you out immediately.”

Vanitas laughed once and charged for him, throwing all of his strength into the blow. Terra managed to block it like he expected, but the pushback jarred his arms so much that he felt his bones rattle. He did what he could to hold strong, but he could already feel his arms buckling under the pressure. A thought crossed his mind. Terra must have been the only one willing to fight him at full strength. Vanitas clenched his teeth as he focused on keeping steady, focused on the opponent in front of him. He could feel Terra staring at him.

“You’re not tired already, are you? Because we can take a break.”

He snapped his head up to glare at him. He was seething now. If even he could see something was wrong, he truly had let himself grow pathetic.

“Vanitas?” Aqua called out, making him feel worse. He began to shake from the rage.

“Shut up!” he yelled, pushing back against Terra. “This is nothing!”

Even though Vanitas would have given anything to smear him into the ground, Terra stood there unfazed by his attack. He was even starting to look worried himself. Just like the others.

He heard Aqua walking over and before he could react, she was standing between them, holding her arms out. Terra took one look at her, then immediately stepped back and dismissed his Keyblade. When there was no longer anything to parry, Vanitas felt his arms drop. It was unthinkable that it was the only thing holding him up.

When that realisation washed over him, he dropped the Keyblade from his hands, watching as it flashed away.

He was still so weak. He couldn’t stand it.

Aqua stepped in front of him, and he barely had the energy to register it until she started to reach out for him. He started to pull his head up the moment her hands touched his shoulders, and he froze. Her fingertips were cool, sending jolts throughout his entire body. Even the other times she touched him hadn’t felt quite like this. Something about it was oddly soothing.

“You need to know your limits,” she spoke. She was trying to sound like a Master, but her tone was too soft for that. “There’s no point training until you collapse. If you need a break, there’s no shame in it.”

He wanted to look at her to say she was being ridiculous, but he knew she would see right through him. It was infuriating, but she knew him too well. Eventually, he thought he had a good enough hold of himself that he could look at her.

But the moment he did so, her hand had risen up to his face. When her fingers brushed away the strands across his forehead, he jumped up in alarm and tore himself away. Even when he was no longer near her, that feeling of her fingers on his hairline refused to vanish.

“Are you okay?” she called out, sounding far too worried. “I’m sorry, I should have asked first.”

His heart felt like it would burst from his chest from the rate it was beating. This was ridiculous. He couldn’t jump around every time she touched him.

“I’m fine,” he got out. Even his voice sounded pathetic. “Let’s just keep going.”

Even though he said that, he made no move to resummon his Keyblade. His strength had long evaporated, and his limbs felt like jelly. But he knew that wasn’t just because of the training.

“Vanitas,” she said again, but it was like she had nothing else to say. He hoped she wouldn’t try and touch him again.

“Oh Aqua!” Ventus yelled out, cutting through the tension. “I completely forgot. Me and Terra were gonna check on something after we got back. Sorry, but we might have to continue this another time.”

Vanitas lifted his head up to glare at his other. Was that the best he could come up with?

“Oh?” Aqua sounded surprised and not remotely convinced either. Still, she went along with it. “That’s alright. I was gonna call this off soon anyway.”

Even Terra seemed confused at first but he seemed to catch on quickly.

“That’s right,” he said, backing up Ventus. “We did need to do something. Sorry, Aqua.”

She shook her head. “It’s no problem. You only just got back after all. And there’ll be plenty more time for training.”

“Yep!” said Ventus. He grabbed hold of Terra’s arm before tugging him towards one of the side doors. “We’ll see you guys later!”

They were gone before long, leaving Vanitas staring at the door they went out of. The idiot didn’t even try to come up with anything believable, and that annoyed him.

Especially now he was left alone with Aqua again.

He watched her from the corner of his eye, making sure he wasn’t being obvious. She looked as if she were debating whether to approach him again, and his heart jumped at the thought. He couldn’t stop himself imagining it. That feeling of her fingers brushing his hair aside still persisted, and he pictured those same fingers trailing down alongside his face.

“Vanitas, can you talk to me?”

Looking up at her as she spoke, he cursed his mind for running away with itself again. She looked so worried, and knowing it was for him wasn’t helping how he was feeling.

Whatever he was doing, it had to stop. He had to bring himself back to reality.

“What is there to talk about?” he mumbled, turning away from her again.

She did end up approaching him but stopped a few feet away. Vanitas should have been thankful that she didn’t come any closer, but something was wrong. He felt relieved but it was almost like he was disappointed.

“I’m worried about you,” she began. “You’ve just seemed really distracted today.”

He wanted to quip back at her but held his tongue. All he had left was playing dumb.

“Distracted?”

“Yes,” she said. “It’s like something’s been bothering you, and it’s causing you to lose focus.”

Vanitas groaned. He did not want to have this conversation.

“If this is about earlier, it’s because you’re the one who yelled out to me.”

“I thought I’d try and be encouraging.”

“Well, you thought wrong.”

She went silent, and her lack of response started eating at him. He couldn’t take it anymore and spun around to look at her again. Something in him froze when he caught the look on her face. That sadness.

“So, what do you want me to do?” she asked him. “Tell me.”

That was a question he didn’t really know the answer to. Even so, he came up with something.

“I don’t care about fighting those idiots-”

“Those are my friends.”

“Fine,” he grimaced. “Your friends. The point is I’m not interested in a training session where I don’t get to fight you.”

He said that, but he dreaded whatever state he would be in if he had to fight her right now.

She mulled over his words. “I understand you don’t like change, but even if you had fought me today, that doesn’t address the real issue.” She stared at him. “The real problem was that you tried to continue, even when you were obviously exhausted.”

“That’s your opinion.”

She frowned. “No, it’s the truth. I’m not stupid, Vanitas. I can see you pushing yourself way more than you need to.”

“You’re supposed to be training me, right?” he yelled out. “Isn’t pushing yourself beyond your limits the whole idea? Last I checked, wasn’t it the whole point of even training?”

“But that isn’t the only thing,” she continued. “You’ve lost a lot of focus lately, and don’t tell me it was because I encouraged you back then. This started way before that.”

“You’re imagining things,” he said through his teeth. “I’m plenty focused!”

Aqua shook her head, before staring straight into him.

“No, I know there’s something weighing on your mind. I know you probably don’t want to hear it, but sometimes talking about it is the best thing.”

He turned away. “No thanks. It’s none of your business.”

She was quiet, and he wondered if that hurt her. But he thought that was ridiculous. She should be used to this by now, so there was no way it should have bothered her. But then she spoke again.

“Why won’t you look at me? Did I do something?”

He went still. There was so much hurt in her voice. Just the sound of it astounded him.

It even pained him. He gripped at his chest.

“You can tell me to go away,” she continued, her voice sounding hoarser than usual. “But I’m not giving up on you. It’s okay if you even hate me. I just want to know what went wrong.”

“Stop blaming yourself,” he blurted out. Summoning his resolve, he turned back to her. He nearly crumbled at how vulnerable she looked.

It was so much like that night.

“You aren’t the problem,” he spoke, staring at her. He pointed at his chest. “It’s me. If there is something wrong, it’s because you’re trying to reform someone like me in the first place.”

She met his glare. That sadness was making way for something. It was that determination again.

“I told you,” she spoke. “That’s all in the past. You can’t keep beating yourself up over what happened.”

He grimaced. She was being so stubborn about this.

“Didn’t I tell you that I don’t regret what I did?”

She finally froze up at that. But she couldn’t have forgotten, not when it was the truth. Even if she didn’t fully understand everything that meant.

“I don’t believe that,” she said, that sadness on her face growing once again. “You wouldn’t still be here if that were true.”

“You trapped me here, remember?”

“That isn’t what I mean.” She paused, like she was hesitating. “I mean, I wouldn’t still be trying if I didn’t see you changing.”

Trying?

Oh. He understood.

She means she would have erased him by now if she truly thought he was a lost cause.

He chuckled. “Changing? You sure that isn’t just wishful thinking so you don’t need to dirty your hands?”

“I can see it,” she insisted, stepping closer. “You aren’t the same person I fought back then. You’re still rude and abrasive, and you’re so stubborn it’s ridiculous. But there’s more to you than that.”

That made him laugh. “Oh yeah? Like what?”

She stopped and placed a hand on her chin as she thought up her answer. “Well for starters, you can be really childish sometimes.”

Vanitas gaped at her. Now he just felt insulted.

“Childish?”

Her eyes widened when she realised how that sounded. “In a good way,” she insisted. “Like in a playful way. You do seem to enjoy teasing me a lot.”

The whole book fiasco was brought to mind and his face began to heat up.

“That’s because you make it too easy,” he argued back. “You tell me to do something, I’m gonna want to do the opposite.”

She smiled. “See? Childish.”

“Hey!”

He couldn’t even protest anymore because she started laughing. And once again, he just froze. Every single time she laughed, it was like she cast a spell on him, leaving him unable to even breathe. Vanitas could only watch as she covered her mouth, trying to stifle the sound. He felt the urge to reach up and pull her hand away, just so he could hear her better. Thankfully, he stopped himself before he could act on that thought, but he still found himself a lot closer to her than he would have liked.

Her laughter finally died down and she pulled her hand from her face on her own. She looked at him again, and seemed to also notice how close they were. He was caught in her subtle shifts in expression, watching as her mouth opened just a fraction. He felt himself drawn to it. What would happen if he pulled himself just a bit closer?

But then that rational part of his brain finally pushed through and stopped him from doing something he might regret. It only now dawned on him just how close they were. Close enough that he could reach out and touch her with no effort, and that terrified him. Without wasting another moment, he pulled away, almost ready to yank his own heart of his chest.

He couldn’t go on like this much longer.

“I’m not childish,” he muttered, still trying to recover himself. “I’ll give you the other things though.”

She chuckled again. He envied how unbothered she seemed compared to him.

“Alright,” she said. “But there is a difference between being a child and being childish. And while I can’t exactly call you a child, I can definitely call you childish.”

He ignored that. “Well, I’m definitely not a child.”

“I know,” she said. “You’re Ven’s age, right? And he’s nearly seventeen.”

Vanitas had never actually thought about how old he was before. Like Aqua, he just assumed that he must be the same age as Ventus. Even though he’d technically existed for less than that, all the time travel and Realm of Darkness stuff made it difficult to pinpoint just how much of a difference that was. It was too much to wrap his head around, but he knew he at least felt like a teenager. Probably an older one too, like Ventus.

“You aren’t much older,” he pointed out, looking over her. From what he remembered, she was only about two years older than Ventus. “What are you doing being Master for people barely younger than you?”

Aqua crossed her arms. “Well, it’s not like we have many options at the moment. I know you think it might affect my authority, but I’m just as much of a Master as any of the others.”

He shook his head. “No, you’re way too lenient. No real Master would let me get away with so much.”

She pressed her lips together. Vanitas hadn’t put much thought into what he said, but she did.

“Are you still thinking about Xehanort?”

He stiffened. Even hearing that name brought back a flood of unpleasant memories.

“Of course not,” he got out. “He was far from being a good Master.”

“Right, sorry.”

That killed the conversation. Vanitas should have been happy, but he hated how awkward things had gotten, and it was all because they had to remember that rotten old man. Aqua looked guilty for even bringing it up.

He clicked his tongue. “Look, if it makes you feel any better, you’re definitely the best Master I’ve ever had.”

Aqua turned her head towards him, staring at him like she was caught between feeling flattered and feeling insulted. Just when he thought he’d said something decent for once.

“Oh, thank you,” she said, not sounding particularly grateful. “But that really isn’t a great comparison.”

“What? I finally say something nice to you, and it isn’t good enough?”

Aqua let out a laugh at that. Vanitas felt himself get sucked up by it all over again. Luckily, it didn’t last long enough for him to completely lose his mind.

“Well,” she began once she stopped. “You’ve said other nice things to me already.”

“Sure. Whatever.”

He crossed his arms to show disinterest, all the while he was just trying to figure out a way out of this. But he didn’t have to. Aqua wasn’t looking at him anymore and was instead gazing out the window.

“It’s getting late,” Aqua mused. She turned back to Vanitas. “I know you probably wanted to train with me today, but it’ll have to wait until some other time.”

The sun wasn’t even close to setting, and that threw him a little bit.

“Why? It’s not late at all.”

It’s like he wasn’t even thinking. Here was just the out he wanted, and he was just throwing it back at her. Fortunately, she didn’t seem to be budging. She looked at him apologetically.

“Sorry,” she began. “I had some things to sort out before dinner, so I would have had to cut training short anyway.”

“Seriously? What is so important?” He shouldn’t be, but he still felt annoyed by this turn of events.

“I have to make sure the castle is running smoothly, and that involves checking a lot of stuff. My job isn’t just to train you.”

He opened his mouth again but stopped when he realised what he was about to say.

Do you need help?

There’s no way he could just offer something like that. Especially when the best thing to do right now was get away from her.

“Fine,” he conceded. “I’ll just find some other way to kill time.”

He headed for the side door but turned towards Aqua at the last minute, still not completely able to push her out of his mind. She was still looking at him, and gave him one last smile.

“Sounds good. I’ll see you at dinner.”

Before he could let that affect him, he stuck his tongue out at her and disappeared through the door. He relished that look of surprise on her face.

Well, if she thought he was childish, he would own it.

It was only when he reached the hallway that it dawned on him just how much that encounter left him shaken. After taking a few steps, he made sure no one else was around before collapsing against the wall, his back sliding down it a fraction. His hands reached for his head, gripping at whatever strands of hair they could reach.

It was endless.

Every time he saw her, his heart screamed at him.

Whenever she touched him, it was like someone lit a fire underneath his skin.

Even when she just got close to him, it took every ounce of willpower not to pull himself even closer.

He shut his eyes, desperate to ground himself, but that only made the images of Aqua already swimming in his head clearer. There really wasn’t any escape from it.

Even so, he played that new encounter in his head again.

As unbelievable as it was, she had gotten so comfortable with him. It was insanity. It didn’t matter how close, how dangerously close he got; she hadn’t even minded. She touched him more often too and looked as if she had to actively stop herself from doing it too much. He couldn’t even imagine why she had gotten so relaxed around him, but it certainly wasn’t helping the bigger issue.

What that issue was, he didn’t even want to think about it. He could deny something was wrong all he wanted, but that wouldn’t stop her from noticing. It was just his job to convince her that she was imagining things.

But at least he had an afternoon to himself. Now he could try and fix what was happening with himself. He desperately did not want to give a name to it, as he knew that would just make it unable to be ignored.

As he pondered what to do, he remembered Aqua’s offer back when it was just them in the castle. With that thought in mind, he headed for her room. She said he could borrow any of her books, right? Maybe he could grab one and find some corner of the castle to go and read it in.

It was crazy to even think it, but he had a suspicion one of those books would contain the answer he needed. Just maybe not the one he wanted.

Thankfully, her door was unlocked when he got there. That was one less hassle. Ignoring everything else, he made his way over to the shelf and began scanning the titles.

He stopped when one in particular caught his eye. It was that story that started it all, the one with the knight, proudly sitting on display among the other books. Seeing it no longer shoved behind the others made something jolt inside him. That feeling was becoming all too familiar.

Raising a hand to his face, he realised he was smiling. That was enough to shake him out of it.

He needed to leave. After grabbing the first book within reach, he headed out without wasting any time. He glimpsed at the cover, but figured he’d better wait until he was somewhere else to read it properly. With that thought in mind, he stepped out into the hallway.

Someone else was there, but Vanitas was so caught up in leaving he had no time to react. He had barely turned around when something lifted him up by his shirt collar and slammed into the nearest wall. He dropped the book in surprise, but that left his hands free to grip at the ones belonging to his attacker.

Fighting back his seething rage, he glared up at the assailant.

Terra stared down at him, seeming angrier than he had in ages.

“What were you doing in Aqua’s room?”

It took Vanitas way too long to realise what he was implying, but he didn’t care about that right now. Fury filled him to his very core as he tried to yank Terra off him.

“Let go of me!”

“Answer me!” Terra nearly shouted. “You took something too, didn’t you?”

Great, now he was calling him a thief. But that might have been better than admitting the truth. Even so, Vanitas struggled against him. He threw every ounce of hatred he had into his glare, like he was willing the moron to drop dead.

“Hey! What’s going on here?”

To make things worse, there was another annoying presence at the end of the hall. Vanitas groaned as Ventus ran over to them.

Terra turned to him, his grip not even faltering. “I just caught this little creep coming out of Aqua’s room.”

Ventus gaped at them. He looked as if he were about to say something, but then his attention was drawn to the floor. Leaning down, he picked up the book Vanitas dropped. He glanced at it briefly as he got up, shooting a look at Vanitas.

“It’s alright Terra,” he spoke, turning to the moron again. He held the book out to him so he could see it. “He was just grabbing something for her. I think I caught her mentioning something about it.”

Vanitas didn’t know what to say. Was he covering for him? Why?

Thinking back, he’d actually been doing it a lot that day.

Terra looked back at Vanitas as he appeared to be processing this new information. He glared at him for a moment longer before sighing and releasing his grip. Vanitas dropped to the ground and jumped away from him, not letting up his own glare.

“Sorry,” Terra muttered. “I guess I just saw you coming out of there and assumed the worst.” He looked toward Ventus. “Even though he and Aqua trust you, I still can’t manage to do the same. Will you forgive me?”

Vanitas was way too stunned by this turn of events to even respond. Terra was apologising?

“You probably just startled him,” spoke up Ventus. His input was enough to break Vanitas out of his shock.

“I wasn’t startled by anything!” he yelled at Ventus before turning back to Terra. “And I don’t want your dumb apology! You’re lucky I haven’t ended you for that!”

That got a chuckle out of Terra. “I guess so. But I meant what I said before. I want us to all try getting along, so next time I’ll hear you out first.”

Vanitas wanted to retort, but nothing would get through to this idiot. But he wouldn’t have to as soon enough, Terra left without another word. Vanitas watched after him, now all too aware that it was just him and Ventus there. Wanting to leave too, he started down the hallway.

“Vanitas!” Ventus called out. “Aren’t you forgetting something?”

He cursed himself before slowly turning back around to see the idiot still holding the book. Scowling, Vanitas turned away from him again.

“Keep it!” he shouted, hoping that would be the end of it.

But he should have known better than that. He had barely made two steps when Ventus ran over and grabbed his arm, pulling him back. Vanitas swivelled around to shoot him a poisonous look.

“Would you stop avoiding me?” said Ventus. “You look like you’re ready to bolt every time I come near you.”

Vanitas yanked his arm away. “Have you thought that it’s because I can’t stand the sight of you?”

Ventus didn’t even seem insulted by that. He just shook his head. “Nah, that’s not it.” He smiled, before holding the book out again. “But I am curious about this.”

“It’s none of your business.”

“This is Aqua’s, right? I know she likes reading stuff like this, but I’m not sure why you would be interested.”

From the way Ventus spoke, it was like he knew exactly why.

“I should tell you,” he continued. “I can’t actually read your mind. Just sense some stuff. And you seemed pretty happy not too long ago.”

“Don’t start with that.”

“Look, all I’m saying is I know Aqua didn’t ask for this, so it must have been something you wanted.”

Vanitas snarled, snatching the book away from him. He gripped at it hard enough to nearly dent the cover.

“Don’t you have anything better to do?”

Ventus hummed. “No, not really. I’ve been dying to know why you’ve been acting so weird.”

This was exactly what he needed. He already had to deal with this stuff from Aqua and didn’t know if he could take any more.

“Don’t be stupid,” he nearly spat. “You’re just imagining things.”

“Is it something to do with Aqua?”

Vanitas tried not to jolt at the name, but it didn’t matter. Ventus saw his reaction and that smile returned.

“I knew it!”

“You don’t know anything!”

It was a struggle to be there much longer. He just needed him to shut up.

“I think I know a little,” he continued. “I keep telling you I’ve been sensing some of what you’re feeling. It was faint while I was at Radiant Garden, but when I came back it’s like it all rushed to me all at once.”

“And I keep telling you that you’re delusional!”

“To be honest,” Ventus went on, like he wasn’t even listening. “I don’t even need to sense anything. Anyone with eyes can see it.”

“See what?”

Ventus stared at him, a sliver of a smile on his face.

“You love her, don’t you?”

That one word froze him worse than a blizzard spell.

Love.

He opened his mouth. “What are-”

“No, don’t try denying it,” Ventus interrupted. That knowing look on his face was back and wouldn’t go away. “Because I know you know it too.”

Vanitas swallowed, feeling a surge of emotions all at once. Rage. Terror. Conflict. Disbelief. All of them swirled around inside his head. His heart. He didn’t know which one took prominence, nor did he know who he was madder at. Ventus or himself.

He wanted him to be wrong. He needed him to just be imagining things. The thought of him being right was enough to make him sick to the stomach.

I know you know it too.

Did he? Hearing the word aloud was such a shock it was difficult to imagine the idea even forming inside him. But the more the thought lingered, the more it started to take root.

“I know you’re struggling with it,” Ventus continued. “But it’s okay. It’s even a good thing.”

Vanitas snapped his head up to glare at Ventus, not even trying to hide his swirling emotions. His nausea.

“Good?” he repeated, like he couldn’t even believe that word was uttered. “How is that a good thing?”

Ventus smiled. “So, you admit it?”

“I don’t admit anything! You’re crazy!”

“No, I’m not!” he shouted. For once, he was sounding frustrated. “You’ve been acting like a lovesick idiot every time she even enters a room! It’d be a miracle if someone hadn’t noticed!”

Something in Vanitas snapped, and it was a wonder it hadn’t happened sooner. Dropping the book, he shoved at Ventus. He threw his weight into it, determined to throw him to the ground. Anything, so long as he stopped talking.

But his other stood strong and pushed back against him.

“Attacking me’s not gonna make it less true!”

“Shut up.”

“Listen to me!” Ventus yelled. “I know you’re not used to this, but there’s nothing wrong with having feelings for someone! The only thing wrong is that you keep trying to fight it! You need to accept yourself!”

“Shut up!” he snarled. He pulled back slightly before throwing a fist at his jaw. Vanitas felt it connect and that brief surge of satisfaction that went through him was worth it. But that feeling was gone when Ventus’ fist rose up and slammed against his cheek, hard enough that he could feel it already starting to bruise. Rage bubbled up inside Vanitas, and he was too far gone to even consider summoning his Keyblade. He’d destroy him with his bare fists if he had to.

Ventus blocked his next swing, leaving Vanitas loathing the fact that he was still so slow. He shoved his arm away and yanked at his shirt to prepare his next strike, but then he saw Ventus looking over his shoulder.

“Aqua!”

Vanitas spun around, expecting to see the woman in question standing over them in shock.

But there was no one there. He barely registered that fact when Ventus tackled him, sending them both to the ground with a thud. His arms pinned down Vanitas’ limbs, leaving him barely able to thrash around, never mind move. With no other choice, he was left to glare up at his other. There was such a look of satisfaction on his face that Vanitas was dying to punch him again.

“She’s not there,” Ventus spoke, stating the obvious. “But if she was, I think you would have stopped.”

Vanitas kept struggling to get free. He couldn’t believe he had left it get so far. If he had been at his former strength, they would have to scrape Ventus off the walls.

“I don’t want to fight you, Vanitas,” he continued. “And I don’t want you to fight yourself. The sooner you can just accept what you feel, the sooner you’ll be better off.”

He gritted his teeth together, hoping Ventus would feel the venom in his eyes. He didn’t think he’d ever hated his other as much as he did in that moment.

“You can hate me if you want,” Ventus said, like he was rubbing salt in the wounds. “But think about what all this fighting does to Aqua. We’re all friends to her, and she wants us to be friends too.”

“Then what’s the point!” he cried out. “I still don’t understand why she’d even try to be my friend, how can I even imagine anything more than that?”

Ventus loosened his grip in shock, and Vanitas took the chance to wrench himself free. He crawled away, but he had no energy to get back on his feet. It was all he could do to pull himself against the wall and wrap his arms around his knees.

But Ventus kept going, having broken out of his surprise.

“I don’t know what she thinks or feels,” he spoke. “And you won’t know either unless you ask her. And yeah, there’s a good chance she’ll only ever think of you as a friend, but that’s okay! Sometimes you love someone you can’t be with, and it’s far better to accept that than to just let it rot inside you.”

Vanitas cradled his head in his hands. He couldn’t believe he had said so much. That part of himself he worked so hard to push out of sight was starting to come free.

He tried to imagine what would have happened if Aqua caught wind of this conversation, and the thought made him want to die. Her face formed in his mind, twisting in disgust.

Ah, so that’s what I was being protected from.  

Vanitas deflated, no longer having the energy to fight. He had never felt so pathetic, not even when they first found him the Realm of Darkness. When Aqua saved him. Told him to go with them.

She saved him, didn’t she? But with the way he felt now, he wished she’d just left him to get devoured by that Heartless. That way, he wouldn’t have had to spend so much time with her. He wouldn’t have gotten to enjoy her fights, or her company, or those conversations they had when no one else was around. He wouldn’t have gotten so see her vulnerable in a way that had nothing to do with combat. A vulnerability she even showed him willingly. She wouldn’t have shared her pastimes with him or smiled at how seriously he took them. He wouldn’t have seen just how brightly she shone. How beautiful she could be.

He sucked in a breath, suddenly feeling dizzy. Could he even go on denying it anymore?

Dammit. I’m in love with Aqua.

That thought alone was like opening the floodgates. Every interaction they had came rushing to him all at once, and only now did many of them make sense. He had long since accepted being attracted to her, but this was something else. Being attracted to her was one thing, but now he knew why he’d jump out of his skin whenever she came close. Or why his mind completely froze at the sound of her laugh. Or the sight of her smile.

Even now, picturing those things made something ache inside him. Something like longing.

What was worse, he wondered. Realising you have feelings for someone you once called an enemy? Or realising that Ventus was right about something?

“Vanitas,” he heard Ventus say.

“Shut up,” he mumbled into his knees. “I don’t want to talk to you.”

He didn’t say anything. Vanitas though he might leave, but then he took a seat on the floor next to him.

“Alright,” he sighed. “At least we’re not fighting anymore.”

Vanitas didn’t answer him. There was no point.

“You know why I brought this all up, right?” he continued. “I can see how much it’s making you suffer.”

“Suffer?” Vanitas wanted to laugh. “You don’t have any idea.”

“I know Aqua doesn’t want to see you like this either.”

He had to suck in a breath just hearing the name.

“I don’t want to talk about her.”

“You know she cares about you, right?” he asked. “That has to count for something.”

Vanitas snapped his head up. “So what? What does any of that matter? You think she’d still care if…” he trailed off, but he should have known better than to think Ventus would drop it.

“If what?”

He clenched his teeth. “Are you really gonna make me say it?  How do you think she’d feel if someone like me…” he paused, getting ready to grit it out. “Liked her?”

Ventus was stunned by the admission, but then he noticed what else he said.

“Someone like you?” he asked. “Are you still worried about what happened in the past?”

Vanitas would have laughed if he hadn’t felt like garbage.

“I tried to kill her,” he said. “And her friends. You’d have to be a complete nutjob to go for someone like that.”

“Yeah, but,” Ventus shrugged. “How did you feel about her back then? Different to now, right?”

That got him to pause. He knew he hadn’t liked her, but he was fascinated the whole way through. From that first moment they interacted in Radiant Garden, she had lingered in his mind in one way or another. If anything, now he was just fascinated in different ways.

“Well, she definitely doesn’t hate you,” Ventus continued. “I can tell you that much.”

Vanitas knew that at least, going from all her concern for him. But she definitely should.

“So you’re just worried she won’t return your feelings?”

He grimaced. “Don’t say it like that. You’re gonna make me sick.”

“Hey!” Ventus chuckled. “It’s a serious question. But let’s say hypothetically she does, what would you do?”

It was Vanitas’ turn to laugh, but there was no energy in it. “What, in some perfect world where she forgot everything I did?”

“I told you she doesn’t hate you.”

“Or if she forgot what I am?” Vanitas gestured at his chest. “I’m not even human. I’m a creature of darkness. I’m the leftover shreds of whatever bad feelings came from your heart. I’m not even my own entity. What would she ever want with someone like me?”

That was the cold hard truth. It didn’t matter what he felt, he was only a shell after all. A monster who knows nothing except darkness and pain. Someone as bright as Aqua should never even interact with a creature like him, except to put it down.

It didn’t matter that she tolerated him, or even that she didn’t hate him. It didn’t matter if she could stand getting close to him, he knew that would change if she ever got wind of what he felt. Disgust was probably the most ideal reaction, if not utter repulsion.

Ventus hadn’t said anything in a while, and Vanitas was ready to taunt him for finally agreeing with him on something. But when he looked at Ventus, he seemed to just be considering his words.

“You say that,” Ventus began. “But you’re a lot more human than you think.”

Vanitas scoffed. “Stop joking around.”

“I’m not,” he said. “Do you really think a creature of darkness would fall in love with someone?”

He grimaced at the word. It felt way too pure for someone like him.

“How do you even know that’s what it is?” he pointed out. “What if I just want to use her?”

That’s how he once tried to rationalise it, but just the thought made something in him sour.

“Use her?” Ventus blinked, but then realisation went over his face. “Oh, I gotcha. You think you might just wanna-”

“Don’t you dare finish that thought.”

Ventus gave an apologetic smile, before rubbing the back of his head.

“Well, think about it this way. You like seeing her happy, right? I don’t think you’d care about that if you just wanted to ‘use her’.” He said the last bit using air quotes, and Vanitas wanted to punch him again.

But he had a point. If that really was all he wanted, he could have done something about it by now.

No. That wasn’t what he wanted at all. He knew that the idea of forcing her into anything made him feel like garbage. It wasn’t even something he wanted to picture.

“So, how about this,” Ventus spoke as he stood up. “If you’re that worried about all this stuff, why don’t you try focusing on becoming the sort of man who deserves her. You know, pretend you’re just a normal person.”

Vanitas stared up at him like he was crazy.

“Don’t look at me like that,” he continued. “I’m serious. You’re still pretty rude to everyone. Maybe if you were nicer, she might start liking you back.”

Vanitas jumped up, readying his fists again. “Why don’t I start by putting you out of your misery?”

Ventus laughed. “Alright, I’ll stop talking now. I think I’ve said everything on my mind anyway. And don’t worry,” he said, putting a finger to his lips. “I won’t tell anyone your secret.”

“You better not.”

“But you can’t blame me if it gets out,” he said. “You really aren’t good at hiding it.”

“Don’t underestimate me.”

He shook his head. “Trust me. The rate you’re going, she’s going to figure it out. Why don’t you tell her yourself before then?”

Vanitas glared at him. He really was insane.

“Are you joking? Why would I do that?”

Ventus sighed. “I just think it really might help to get it out in the open. But don’t say I didn’t warn you. Just don’t beat yourself up about it too much, okay?”

With that, he turned and headed back down the hall. Vanitas hated how he got the last word, but he didn’t know what else to say.

When he had vanished from sight, Vanitas had the sudden urge to scream, but held it back. It was a miracle no one heard his fight with Ventus, but they’d definitely hear something like that. Instead, he turned and punched the wall, welcoming the sting in his knuckles.

How had this even happened? And how had Ventus been the one to bring it to light?

Far too recently, all he wanted was to destroy her. To show her how wrong she had been to show him mercy. But now, he didn’t know what he wanted.

That was a lie. He did know.

He rested his forehead against the wall and sucked in a breath. There wasn’t any going back now. He had admitted it to himself, he had named the unnameable. Now, there was no telling what would happen. Especially if he couldn’t manage to keep it hidden.

There was no choice. He had to push his feelings back. Nothing good would come from them anyway. Ventus was wrong; telling her was the last thing he should do.

He sucked in another breath and turned his head to the floor. As he looked down, he caught sight of the fallen book, lying there forgotten during the fight. Vanitas leant down to pick it up, hoping Aqua wouldn’t notice the dents.

That thought stopped him short, and he wanted to slam his head through the wall.

This was such a mess.

Chapter Text

It was before dawn when Vanitas woke. A heavy blanket of darkness still covered his room, making him unsure of the time. After several minutes of groaning and rolling around, he pulled himself out of bed, stretching as he got up. Being up this early was not something he made a habit of, not anymore, but he hadn’t been sleeping well that night anyway.

And it was all her fault.

His night had instead been spent by replaying yesterday’s events over and over again inside his head. Everything from what happened at training, to that awful confrontation with Ventus swirled around within him, leaving him no escape.

To make things worse, her presence in his mind had only grown stronger. After realising why she lingered there so much in the first place, after realising just how much she now meant to him, it was impossible to drive her out. There was no way he could sleep like that.

Then there was the whole reason he was up so early in the first place. Aqua managed to corner him after dinner despite his efforts to avoid her, asking if he would be interested in a pre-dawn training session. And like an idiot, he said yes without even thinking about it. He wanted to think of it as a good chance to train while those other morons were still in bed, but he knew the real reason he agreed. He should have been staying away, but something within him still jumped at the chance to be alone with her. It didn’t matter how bad an idea it was, or how inconvenient it made things for him, despite all that he still wanted to be near her.

All because of his stupid feelings for her.

Vanitas grumbled to himself as he got dressed. This would be the first time they were alone together since he had that horrifying epiphany yesterday. There was no telling if he’d even be able to handle himself. He didn’t even know how he had survived dinner. Adding her offer to train on top of all that other stuff hadn’t helped at all. The way she asked, like she wasn’t sure if he would accept, was just too adorable for words.

There was no use delaying it anymore. She would just come for him if he took much longer. Swallowing back his apprehension, he stormed out into the hallway.

Like he expected, she had arrived in the main hall before him. She sat on the stairs near the throne, where she gazed off into the distance. A small blanket was pulled tightly around her frame, her only barrier to the chilly morning. He almost wanted to tell her to go back to bed if she was too cold, but he just knew she would think he was worrying for her again. And he didn’t know if he could admit that to her.

He stepped closer, his footsteps echoing through the empty hall. At the sound, her head snapped up to look at him long before he had even approached. Despite the cold air surrounding them, he could already feel the warmth of her presence.

She smiled at him as he got closer.

“Good morning.”

The sound of her voice jolted something in him. It was warm and airy, and it circled around him like he was wearing his own blanket. Already, he felt a lump growing in his throat, but he swallowed it back. He had only just gotten there; he couldn’t fall apart so quickly.

“Mornin’” he grunted, forcing himself closer. His eyes drifted over her once he was at a reasonable distance, but whatever his initial impressions were began to fade. Dark bags hung under her eyes, a stark contrast to her smile. It made him wonder if she slept at all that night. Thinking back, he wondered if he looked much the same.

She stood from the steps as soon as he reached them. Part of him thought it was just so she could greet him properly, but instead she turned her body to the side and allowed the blanket fall away from her. The sight of the fabric sliding from her shoulders drew him in without any of his input. He couldn’t pull his eyes away as the skin of her back and shoulders were exposed, and while it wasn’t anything he hadn’t seen before, he still needed to remind himself to breathe.

It was only when the blanket dropped to the steps that he managed to ground himself again.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Aqua said as she turned to face him again. “I was worried I’d have to come drag you out of bed.”

Vanitas dragged his eyes to her face, already chiding himself. He scoffed, doing his best to act normal. “Come on, who do you think I am? Ventus?”

It was a good retort in his opinion, but Aqua didn’t look very impressed by it. Her hands fell to her hips.

“Well, I’ll have you know, he’s always on time for training.”

“Hey, it’s the time you said, isn’t it?”

He frowned at her, ready to get annoyed, but all of that evaporated as she started to laugh. Almost instantly, his mind stalled. There it was. That sound he adored so much.

That was the word for it. He knew that now. All he wanted was to hear that sound over and over again.

And her face while she did it. She had a habit of covering her mouth with the back of her hand, like she was trying to stifle some of the sound. He had no idea why.

He couldn’t help himself. He pictured again what would happen if he just reached up and tugged at that hand. She would stop laughing, that was a certainty. Maybe she would grant him a few seconds, but of course she would inevitably pull away in the end. Whatever happened, he couldn’t imagine it going very well for him. The best-case scenario he could hope for was that she would just brush it off, but soon after she would definitely be keeping her distance. He didn’t dare think that she might actually let him get close like that.

“Sorry,” she spoke up, her hand still hovering near her mouth. “I didn’t mean to laugh like that. I think it was just the look on your face, I’m sorry.”

His eyes tore themselves away from her. He had no idea what his face looked like and he was terrified to know.

“Glad you find this so amusing,” he muttered. He could have sworn he heard her choke back another laugh.

“Okay, okay,” she chuckled. “We should probably get started. Are you ready?”

He summoned his Keyblade, hoping that was enough of an answer. They were there to train after all. He wasn’t there just to gawk at her.

“That’s what I’m here for.” He took a few steps back, enough that they were now within normal sparring distance. “You think I like getting up this early?”

Aqua shrugged as she summoned her own weapon. “I don’t know, you don’t really seem to have a problem with it.”

She was right. And he really hated that she was.

“Alright, whatever,” he groaned, raising his weapon. “Let’s go before you catch a cold.”

Her eyes widened at that, and Vanitas was already cursing himself for the slip up. But before he could even try taking it back, that warm smile from earlier had returned. Once again, it drew him in.

“Thanks for the concern,” she said as she stepped into position. “But I’ll be fine. I got a hot porridge waiting after this.”

The mention of food was enough to knock Vanitas out of his trance. His mouth began to water at the thought. No sane person would ever turn away from Aqua’s cooking.

“You got enough for me too?”

“Of course,” she grinned. “And I won’t be a stingy with the brown sugar this time.”

Honestly, that was enough motivation in itself. Vanitas wiped the drool from his face and charged towards her. He cleared his mind, determined to only think of breakfast. That was all he had to do. He just had to think of the porridge waiting for him afterwards.

He threw a strike, only to have her dart out of the way at the last second. Nothing he hadn’t expected. Another swipe yielded the same result, with her almost gliding away before he could even make contact. He gritted his teeth, determined to at least get a hit in. But with every lunge he made, she would simply find some new way to dodge the attack. Her body would curve out of the way of each attempt, Aqua moving as easily as she breathed. It was effortless for her, but instead of getting frustrated, he found himself watching to see how she would move next.

When his next attack drew out one of those famous cartwheels, his heart jumped against his chest. Everything had slowed down, leaving him barely able to react to her next attack. That’s when he knew he messed up. The sudden clang of their weapons shook him to his senses at least, but nothing could prevent her from staring at him like that. With that same concern he should have been getting used to.

Before he could try to brush it off, she lowered her weapon.

“Hey, are you okay?” she asked, her head tilting to the side. “Is it too early after all?”

Vanitas shook his head. “No. Not at all. Let’s keep going.”

There was a brief moment where he thought she would do as he asked. But that hope was dashed the moment her Keyblade vanished, and she started to walk closer to him. He spun away from her on instinct, worried that his face was burning. There was no way he could let her see that.

On the other hand, he couldn’t keep doing things like this if he wanted to convince her everything was fine.

But it all seemed like a lost cause anyway when she started reaching for him again.

His entire body froze, and he had no energy to move away. Nor did he really want to. All he could do was release the grip on his weapon, watching as it flashed away. He could almost feel her hand inching towards him.

“Is this okay?” she asked him. He remembered how he would flinch away every time she came near, but this time he just didn’t know how to react. He let out a grunt, and she must have taken that as an affirmative from the way her hand moved closer.

When her palm brushed against his forehead, he did all he could to stop himself from gasping. But it wasn’t good enough. She still heard him.

“Are you okay?” she asked again. He caught the panic in her voice, yet she didn’t move away from him.

“I’m fine,” he got out. “Your hand is cold.”

That was the truth. Her hand was cold, but her fingertips felt magical on his burning skin. He had just started getting used to the feeling when they pulled away from him. Something in him went to protest, but then he saw her removing her glove.

Now, whatever feeling consumed him felt more like anticipation.

There was no way for him to prepare before her entire palm came down against his forehead. It was warmer than her fingers thanks to her glove, even a little clammy. But that didn’t matter to him in the slightest. Without her glove, he could marvel in the smoothness of her hand, something that left him astonished. He wondered how she avoided getting callouses like he had.

His eyes closed on their own as he got lost in the feeling.

“You don’t seem sick,” she mused as she pulled her hand away. He immediately fought the urge to pull her back. His eyes shot open, but that did not help things at all. Not when she still stood right in front of him.

She was close. So achingly close.

If only there was a way to warn her without giving away what swirled around inside him.

Her face hovered near his, her brows creased in thought. Through the fog of his brain, he realised she was debating with herself about whether she should say something.

But if she didn’t soon, he might do something stupid. Something that could completely ruin things forever. He bit his lip, hoping that would help things. It didn’t. Now his attention was just drawn to them and what else they could be doing right now.

“Did you sleep last night?”

The question was so sudden, he almost didn’t register it.

“What?”

She reached up for him, and for one terrifying moment, he thought she might touch him again. But she seemed to reconsider, and that lingering hand retreated to her chest instead.

“Sorry, I just noticed the circles under your eyes.”

He stared at her. This situation was just so absurd to him. But instead of laughing it off like he usually would, he did something dumb instead. His hand twitched and started moving on its own, heading upwards. Without putting a single thought into it, he brought it up to her cheek and brushed a finger against one of her own dark circles, now in sharp focus.

“Did you?”

Her eyes widened under his touch. Even her cheeks started to colour, and a gentle pink bloomed along the sides of her face. It didn’t take long before she was the one to turn her head away, and like waking from a trance, Vanitas yanked his hand from her.

Why did he do that? His traitorous hand fell against his side, but he couldn’t deal with it right now. He stepped away from her and all he could do now was hope she forgot what happened. But that was hard imagine. Not when she stood there avoiding his eyes, clutching her hands to her chest. He had caught her off guard, but he didn’t know if it was from what he asked or what he just did.

An apology formed in his throat, but he swallowed it back.

“Aren’t your friends here now?” he asked her. “Didn’t you say that having them close by helped with the nightmares?”

She was still gazing off to the side. It took a while before an answer came.

“It does,” she admitted. “But that doesn’t mean it’s easy falling asleep again.”

Her voice, her expression, they both held such vulnerability. It was so familiar. Something in him stirred.

“Then don’t feel the need to get up so early to train me.”

Her head jolted towards him in surprise.

“No, it’s not as bad as you think,” she insisted. “I’m used to it. And besides, I already promised we’d train, didn’t I?”

Aqua pushed a smile to her face, but Vanitas didn’t buy it. Not when he knew what her genuine ones looked like.

She was so stubborn. It was easily one of the most irritating things about her. All he could think of is how she keeps throwing away her own wellbeing for others. For him. It was ridiculous.

“It’s stupid,” he told her. “If you wanna sleep, then sleep. Gotta be warmer than over here anyway.”

There he went again. He really needed to shut up about how cold she was. She stared at him in awe because of it, which didn’t help the embarrassment already stewing within him.

Then she gave him a smile. A real one.

“Thank you. But really, I’m fine. It’s not like I would have gotten any more sleep anyway.”

That wasn’t as reassuring as she must have thought it would be. But he didn’t get a chance to say anything else to her, not before she started to walk back towards the stairs. She took a seat before looking back up at him and tapping the space next to her.

“Come on. Let’s take a little break. I promise we’ll get back to it soon enough.”

It was an attempt to placate him. She knew he would balk at the idea of taking a break so soon. But he was inclined to go along anyway, not for his sake, but for hers. He let out a sigh to show his disapproval, but it wasn’t long before he joined her on the steps.

He at least made sure to leave a gap between them, but that was immediately ruined when she slid closer to him, catching Vanitas completely by surprise. His heart jumped, and he turned his red face away under the guise of clearing his throat.

“I hope you don’t mind,” Aqua began. “But it is a lot warmer next to you.”

She really did have to be doing this stuff on purpose.

“Put the blanket back on if you’re cold,” he muttered. But she made no attempt to reach for it. And he made no attempt to slide away from her.

They weren’t touching, but there was only a hair’s breadth of space between them. If he made even the slightest movement, he knew they would come in contact. She may have said she was cold, but it didn’t stop that feeling of warmth exuding off her. It assaulted him, leaving him barely any room to breathe.

He refused to move a muscle. It was agony having her so close, and not being able to trust himself. For a moment, he envied Terra and Ventus. They didn’t have to shut down every time she came near them.

“Hey, can I ask you something?”

Just like that, dread filled his entire body. He felt himself descend into a panic, a type of panic he had only just gotten to experience recently. It was all he could do not to throw up. He knew Ventus had warned him about how obvious he was being, but he thought he would have had a little more time to figure out what to do.

“…What?”

Her question took longer to come than expected. He couldn’t look at her and made no moves to do so. The sound of her swallowing came from somewhere beside him, and that dread in his gut only grew far more potent. Her hesitation was worse than her just outright asking.

“Did you borrow a book from my room yesterday?”

He almost didn’t believe his ears. Relief crashed over him, but that question hadn’t been much better than the one he was truly fearing.

Still, he had to be cautious.

“…You said I could.”

“I said you could ask. I’m not upset though; I just want you to remember for next time.”

“Huh?” he got out. He spun towards her. “Why aren’t you upset?”

The words had barely left his mouth when he realised his mistake. He had forgotten just how close she was. It was much like before, only now her face was level with his. Somehow, it only made things feel more intimate. He swallowed, knowing this whole situation was far too dangerous for him.

She smiled softly, and just that small movement drove his eyes to her mouth. Something screamed at him, but he didn’t want to hear what it had to say. His body went to lean forward, but his sense kicked in just in time, forcing him to look away instead. He desperately hoped she hadn’t notice that lapse in control.

“It’s fine,” he heard her speak. For a second, Vanitas wasn’t sure what she was talking about. “I know how much… trouble you have with asking for things. That’s why I’ll let it slide this time, but I really don’t want you going in my room without permission.”

Right. This was about the book.

Still, what she was saying was ludicrous. She was so forgiving; it drove him crazy.

Not knowing what else to do, he groaned and let his head to fall to his knees. He only had a few moments to himself before he felt her hand coming to rest on his back.

“You don’t need to be embarrassed,” she spoke, still as softly as before. “It really means a lot that you’re still so interested in reading those things.”

He didn’t respond. He only sunk further into his knees. But of course, that wasn’t going to stop her. He could feel her moving, bending over so she was at his level. He knew she was peering at him, and he felt helpless under her gaze.

“Van, can you hear me?”

He leapt up in surprise, even startling Aqua. He spun to face her.

“Wait, what did you just say?”

She stared back at him. That initial surprise had started to give way to another expression, something closer to guilt. Maybe even embarrassment.

“Sorry,” she spoke with a grimace. “It kinda just slipped out. It’s a nickname.”

“Yeah, but…” he began. But he trailed off, unsure what he was even protesting. As he pondered it, Aqua had only grown more guilt-ridden.

“If you don’t like it, that’s okay. I won’t use it again.”

The defeat was clear in her voice. She tried to smile, but something about the sight of it dismayed him.

“No, it’s fine,” he blurted out before he could stop himself. “You just surprised me.”

A nickname was so… normal. It was practically foreign to something like him.

He recalled the way she said it too. It was way too gentle, way too soft. It wouldn’t leave his head.

Van…

“Okay,” said Aqua. She beamed at him and the turnaround in mood was so quick it made him wonder if it was one of her ploys. “Then if it’s alright with you, I might start using it more often.”

He watched her. He wanted to be mad at her for playing him like that, but something about her made her way too easy to forgive. And the way she sat there waiting for his answer, it was like something within her shone outwards, sucking him into her light.

Vanitas turned away, swallowing the lump in his throat. He only hoped his embarrassment about the whole thing wasn’t too obvious.

“Do what you want,” he muttered.

“I’m not hearing a ‘no’.”

“Hey!” he yelled out, swivelling his body towards her. “You can be so ridiculous sometimes!”

Despite the words, it hadn’t felt like an insult. It was missing so much of the bite they usually contained. Even Aqua didn’t consider it one. Like before, she was caught off guard for a moment, but soon enough that familiar pout was back. It was the one she had when she wanted to fake being upset, and the hands on her hips didn’t help to hide that.

“Ridiculous?” she asked. “Just because I wanna make sure of things?”

He rolled his eyes at her. “Come on, you already know what my answer is. Getting me to say it myself is just some kind of sick enjoyment for you.”

His words made her consider something. She hummed, resting her cheek on her palm.

“Okay,” she sighed. “I’ll admit, it is a little fun watching you squirm.”

The way she said that, almost sheepishly, really didn’t match what came out of her mouth. It was a playful side of her, one he hoped he could see more of. He couldn’t help himself and let out a grin.

“See? I knew it. That’s awfully malicious of you, Master Aqua.”

She wacked him on the arm, light enough that it was still playful. “That’s a bit harsh. I need to get my entertainment from somewhere.”

This was all so absurd. He snorted at what she said and leant himself back against the stairs.

“Wow,” he spoke through his grin. “I’m finally seeing this whole other side to you. Wonder if your friends know just how cruel you are.”

“Keep it up and you won’t get any sugar on your breakfast.”

He shot up and gaped at her, placing his hand on his chest in mock hurt.

“You would go so far? You wound me.”

Without warning, she burst into laughter. The sound of it was so infectious that it didn’t take long before he was laughing along as well. For a while, the two of them just sat there together and laughed, something Vanitas couldn’t have imagined happening until now.

He couldn’t remember feeling this elated in so long. It was like he could forget about all his problems for just this moment.

But that wouldn’t last long. Even as his laughter began to die down, he still managed to forget just how close she was.

That was until he felt her lean against him.

“You’re in a really good mood today,” she remarked.

Vanitas had barely heard what she said. Not after feeling her skin on his. He couldn’t recall a time when so much of her was touching him all at once. If her presence before was bad enough, this was on an entirely new level. He didn’t dare move a muscle, not willing to break whatever spell made her even want to be close to him.

He swallowed back the dryness in his throat.

“Am I?” There was no getting around how flustered his voice sounded. It would be a miracle if she hadn’t noticed her effect on him at this point.

She nodded her head, and he felt every part of the movement.

“I don’t know,” she mused. “You just seem less prickly than usual. But I’m not complaining. Actually, I’m really happy.”

He turned his head towards her, just enough so he could see her from the corner of his eye. She gazed across the room, with her head still leaning against his shoulder. Her hands were busy playing with the ends of her sash, almost absentmindedly. He knew his own hand was resting somewhere behind her, and he fought the urge to wrap it around her side to pull her closer.

Even now as he gazed at her, he barely stopped himself from leaning into that beautiful blue hair. It already tickled his shoulder, and the softness was indescribable.

“To be honest,” she continued, pausing for a moment. “I’ve been a bit scared.”

The admission was a little unexpected, but it still wasn’t enough to shake him from that feeling engulfing him.

“Scared?” He breathed out the word.

She nodded again. Before saying anything, she pulled herself away, just enough so she could look at him properly. He immediately missed the feeling of her brushing against him, but that smile she wore was almost enough of a replacement. It was nearly enough to make him give in to whatever feeling consumed him.

“It’s…silly,” she began. Her eyes kept darting away from him, and just the sight of that made him suck in a breath. “I keep worrying that this might all be too much for you, or that you’ll keep pushing me away. But now, I feel like all that worrying was for nothing.”

His hand twitched. He was so close to dragging it to her cheek again, running it through her hair. Only now he knew he wouldn’t let go. But he held in that urge.

“…Really?”

He couldn’t say anything else. Not when his mind was on the verge of shutting down.

“Yeah,” she said, looking up at him again. “I’m glad you’re here with me. Now, I have a new friend and sparring partner, and I couldn’t ask for more.”

Those words struck him like ice.

Of course. That’s all she wanted from him. She would never even dream of anything else. Why would she?

Thankfully, she hadn’t noticed his soured mood. In fact, something else had caught her attention. She stood up all of a sudden, her eyes focused on the windows across the room. Cold filled the space where she once was almost immediately.

“It’s nearly time,” she spoke. Before Vanitas could question her, she turned back to him and held out her hand. “Come on. I wanna show you something.”

Vanitas stared at it for a moment, but there was no use refusing her now. It didn’t take long for him to accept her offer. He had no time to dwell on the feeling of her hand in his before she was tugging him upwards and leading him from the steps. She pulled him towards one of the larger staircases on the side, and it felt like an eternity before they reached the bottom. His mind was still a mess, and the entire time, he was trying his hardest not to squeeze her too hard or do something else equally as dumb.

She let go once they reached the doors downstairs, if only to push them open. Just when he thought he would have a reprieve, she turned to him and offered her hand again.

“Come on, Van.”

He swallowed at hearing the name, but he took her hand once more, allowing her to lead him outside. The early morning air instantly bit at his skin, enough to make him shiver. Goosebumps formed along Aqua’s arms as well, and he imagined she was probably feeling the cold worse than he was. Maybe she should have brought the blanket with her, but she didn’t seem to care about it at the moment.

That urge from earlier struck him again. He could just pull her against him right now, and she probably wouldn’t even protest. But would it stop there? If he relinquished control of himself just a tiny bit, he was terrified everything else would come tumbling out right after. If he let himself hold her, next he would try to nuzzle her shoulders. Maybe after that he would press his lips to that wonderfully soft skin.

His grip on her hand must have tightened, because she stopped walking. She turned to him, the question clear on her face, but he looked away before she would try asking it. He didn’t know why, but she seemed to let it drop for now. But of course, he wasn’t going to complain about it.

They continued on, and Vanitas turned his attention upwards to try and distract himself. The sky was still the cold dark shade of early morning, but a slight tinge of red peered over the edge of the horizon. Daybreak would be coming soon, something he didn’t witness very often anymore. It was weird to think about, since back in the Badlands it was often the thing to wake him up.

When they reached the edge of the courtyard, Aqua finally let go of his hand. They now had an unobstructed view of the valley in front of them, and Vanitas watched as the shadows danced across the landscape. While he was gazing out, Aqua tapped his arm to get his attention. He turned to her, watching as she smiled at him again. Then she gestured towards the sky.

“Just watch.”

He blinked at her, but as expected he didn’t have it in him to ignore what she said. He gazed up at the sky again, catching sight of the horizon and the red growing along it. Then, almost like it was waiting for him to witness it, a bright burst of orange broke through. It cast a warm light over the landscape, chasing those shadows away. Something about this sight struck him differently compared to all the other times he had seen it, but he wasn’t sure what it was.

After that spectacle, Vanitas turned to Aqua again, who was busy watching it herself.

“I’ve seen a sunrise before,” he told her.

“Yes,” she spoke. “But have you seen one over a valley like this?”

Vanitas wanted to argue, but there was nothing to be said. Not when he caught sight of those same rays of light bouncing off her, practically making her glow. Her eyes were focused skyward, and that gave him a chance to drink her in. The cool morning breeze tousled her hair, enough that it made her reach up to tuck some of those strands behind her ear.

Something jolted in the pit of his stomach, and he remembered how much danger he was in. Her allure grew more and more with each passing moment, and she didn’t even seem conscious of it. He knew he couldn’t take much more of this before something cracked, and some stupid words would come spilling out of his mouth. Or even worse, he may try to touch her again. And if that happened, he didn’t know whether he’d be able to stop.

Her head had turned towards him at some point, and he barely turned back to the sky in time. He desperately hoped she didn’t notice him staring at her. Not again.

“Van?”

Too late. He grimaced at hearing the worry in her voice.

“It’s nothing,” he mumbled, knowing what she was going to ask. He just hoped she would just drop it.

“You sure?”

This wouldn’t work. He had to give her something, or she wasn’t going to let it go.

“Yeah,” he sighed. “I guess I just still can’t believe we’re standing here like this.”

“Like what?”

His hands gripped at the wall. “You know what I mean. When did we start acting like normal people? Or even start talking like normal people?”

She didn’t respond for a moment. He imagined she was thinking about how to answer, but something else was nagging at him.

“It’s because we’re friends, Van,” she said after a while. Her hands rested alongside his as she spoke, with her leaving only a small gap as a buffer. “I know where you’re going with this, and I’ve already told you. What happened before doesn’t matter. It’s the person you are now that counts.”

“And who am I?”

That question stalled Aqua. He didn’t need to look at her to notice. Her hand shifted so it brushed against his, and he had to suck in a breath. She was doing this so often now; it had to be on purpose. It was like she was tormenting him.

“You’re a lot of things,” she mused, almost resting her hand on his. “I think the biggest thing is stubborn. You just refuse to acknowledge anything might be changing until it becomes overwhelming.”

He chuckled at that, more as a way of distracting himself from the touch. It wasn’t working too well, but at least he could fake it.

“Well, guess what,” he spoke, watching her from the corner of his eye. “You’re exactly the same.”

Surprise flashed across her face, but he kept going.

“You just refuse to give up on something, even if that becomes the better choice for you in the long run,” he told her. “If you wanna call me stubborn, fine, but don’t forget who’s worse between the two of us.”

Her mouth pressed together, and it irked him when he noticed she was trying to suppress a laugh.

“Are you kidding?” she spoke, almost snorting. “I’ve never met anyone more bull-headed than you.”

His own mouth dropped open at those words.

“What’s this? You’re just gonna insult me?”

She shook her head. “No, it’s not an insult. Not really. It’s just, would it kill you to relax a little more? You just put up wall after wall. What’s wrong with accepting things might be changing?”

“You’re still so set on that,” he muttered. “But people don’t change that easily.”

“That’s not true. I’ve got you in front of me right now, and neither of us are fighting each other.”

He raised an eyebrow. “And this isn’t a fight?”

“It’s a discussion. If it were a real fight, I’d be winning.”

She sounded so certain of it that he couldn’t help but burst into laughter.

“See?” she spoke up. She had crept closer, just as he let his laughter fade. “That was a real laugh. I don’t think the old Vanitas would be smiling like that at something I said.”

He knew she was right. No matter how much he resisted, he knew something in him had changed. His laughter had died down, but he still put a hand to his face to hide his lingering smile. The hand closest to her remained where it was.

“Look,” he spoke, his hand still covering his face. “I already said there are worse things than being around you, didn’t I?”

“Yes, you did. And the same goes for you.”

“Great,” he groaned, throwing his hand back down on the wall. “Guess that means I gotta put work into being terrible now.”

“Why would you do that?” she asked, brushing against him. “I like how sweet you are now.”

Vanitas’ heart jumped when he felt Aqua start to lean on him again. Once more his mind started to freeze as he felt her shoulder against his. Adding what she said on top of that, he was positive he was blushing. He turned his head away on impulse.

“D-don’t be stupid.”

He was even stuttering. This really needed to stop.

“You are,” she continued, nudging against him playfully. “And you can be really thoughtful too.”

That got him to stall. “Thoughtful?”

“Yep,” she said. She pulled herself away, and he wasn’t sure if he should feel relieved or not. “Honestly, you probably worry a little too much about me.”

Even though he knew he shouldn’t, he already missed her presence. He turned back to face her, unable to help himself. When he did, she was busy wrapping her arms tightly around herself in an attempt to fight the breeze. She let out a shiver, and her eyes flicked over to him like she sensed him watching. Those eyes met his for a split second before they returned to the valley.

Vanitas was getting a little annoyed again. If she was that cold, she should go inside rather than stay outside with him. There were far better ways of warming herself than sticking close to him, and he didn’t understand why she didn’t go for them. She had been doing this all morning.

He gritted his teeth. Thinking about everything that happened this morning brought some of his earlier fears back.

“That makes me sound way better than I am.”

She turned to him as he spoke. Her arms were still wrapped around herself.

“Not at all,” she insisted. “It’s the truth.”

Now she was the one being bull-headed.

“Are you joking?” he got out. “I’m not thoughtful at all. Everything I do is selfish, how is that thoughtful?”

He gazed at her to challenge her, but she only shook her head. She was still keeping at it.

“I don’t believe that,” she said. “Maybe you think that’s the case, but I don’t.”

“You’re wrong. Even now, what if I just want-”

He barely stopped himself in time. He barely stopped himself from saying too much.

Aqua’s arms dropped to her sides. His heart thudded in his ear. He didn’t know what kind of expression she had, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to know. Even if he could avoid looking at her face, he was still far too aware of her body language. Her hands tumbled together, and she was playing with her sash again. An uncomfortable silence had descended upon them, one he wasn’t willing to break.

“Want what?”

Vanitas barely heard her voice. It was quiet enough that it could have been mistaken for the wind. But he had heard it. He heard that apprehension.

That was enough. This needed to end now.

He spun away from her, heading back for the castle.

“Van-”

“Thanks for the training,” he called out, refusing to turn around. “And for all this.”   

As he walked, he half expected her to come after him. But she made no such moves. From the way she called out, he wondered if he hurt her again. The thought of it stung. Not long ago, he would have scoffed at the idea of worrying about her feelings, but those days were long gone.

He still had no idea what he should do. Every time she went to ask him something, he was terrified it would be what he dreaded most. He dreaded it would be about what he truly felt for her. And it’s not like she even needed to ask from the way he was acting. The entire morning was like some huge test on his resolve, one that he came close to failing many times. All because of her.

She had been so comfortable with him this morning, and he had no idea why. It would only take his control lapsing for a second for that comfort to shatter. If he actually listened to what his screaming heart demanded of him, he doubted they would be able to talk like that again. Never mind that, he doubted she would even want to be near him.

He only remembered breakfast after returning to his room. Aqua had said she prepared some for him too, but it was likely enough for everyone anyway. He considered staying where he was, but avoiding breakfast after she talked it up like that might actually hurt her.

Eventually he made his way to the kitchen, long after anyone else had eaten. His portion of porridge was sitting on the counter wrapped up, on the verge of being stone cold. He ate it anyway, not even bothering to heat it up.

He feared what the rest of the day would bring, but it seemed like he would at least get a chance to breathe. Aqua was off doing something by herself for most of the day, so there was less of a chance at being confronted about what happened in the courtyard. But it would have to happen sooner or later. Vanitas just wished he could turn off what he felt and act normally around her, but he didn’t even know what normal meant anymore.

But he needed to figure it out. And quickly. He was terrified about what their next conversation would be about if this keeps up.

In need of a distraction, he grabbed the book he borrowed yesterday and set off for a place to read it. He liked to find a different place each time, thinking of it as a way to shake off any nosey stalkers. Anything with multiple ways to escape was ideal, and that naturally led him to outside the castle most of the time. But he had enough of the outdoors for today. He was more than aware that partaking in the activity that she herself showed him wasn’t the greatest way to get his thoughts off her, but nothing else was working anyway, so there didn’t seem to be a reason to fight it.

He strolled through the halls, searching for any random storage room he could find. But as he walked past a window overlooking the courtyard, something down there had caught his attention. He stepped over to get a better look, but when he realised what that something was, he just had to laugh.

Aqua was out in the courtyard, fully immersed in a solo training session. It was hard to tell from that high up, but she had even brought those orbs back. They still floated around harmlessly, yet she destroyed them will such precision that it completely discouraged the idea of going down and joining her. Even if things were normal between them, this was probably her way of training without needing to hold back. He imagined even her friends would struggle against her like this.

“Whatcha doing?”

Vanitas jerked up at the sound of the voice. Terra and Ventus stood there in front of him, and he wanted to hit himself for not noticing their presence. He checked briefly for that connection with Ventus and was dismayed to find it still there. If anything, that was just further proof of how distracted he was.

The way they stood there staring at him gave Vanitas a weird feeling of déjà vu, and he dreaded where this would be going.

“Well?” Terra spoke up again. “It isn’t like you to be so out of it. Or at least it didn’t use to be.”

Vanitas shot a glare at him. “Why do you care?”

“I care if it affects my friends.” He gestured towards the window. “Enjoying the view?”

That was it. Today was the day he’d finally kill him. He had barely gotten out so much as a snarl when Ventus stepped between them. Vanitas turned his glare to him instead, hoping he sensed his contempt through that stupid bond of theirs. But the idiot barely even acknowledged him and was still trying to remain cheerful.

“Hey, go easy on him,” Ventus began, nudging Terra’s arm. “He’s had it rough lately.”

Terra had the audacity to smirk at that.

“Oh yeah?” he chuckled. “From my point of view, he’s been having a great time.”

He pointed at the book still in his hand, and Vanitas glowered at him. If he said one more thing, he was just about ready to tear his head off. He placed the book on the windowsill, preparing in case that moment came up.

“I’d watch what I was saying if I were you,” he growled.

He badly wanted his words to carry the threat they intended, but Terra only looked amused and gestured out the window again.

“Look, I know you’ve got a crush on her.”

Vanitas froze in place. Those words echoed in his head, but he still couldn’t believe he was hearing them. His fist clenched, and that familiar rage began to build.

Just when it was about to spill over, he swivelled towards Ventus and could barely stop himself from charging at him.

Ventus meanwhile was waving his hands around in a panic.

“Woah, hang on! I swear I didn’t tell him!”

“Don’t blame Ven,” Terra continued. “Honestly, I figured it out myself. You don’t exactly hide it very well.”

“Right?” Ventus spoke up. He sounded so vindicated. “That’s exactly what I told him!”

“It’s actually why I got so mad at you yesterday,” said Terra, crossing his arms. “I thought you were up to something… questionable in her room.”

Somehow it got even worse. All he knew was that he had never wanted to kill Terra as much as he did in that moment. Vanitas started to shake from the rage.

“What the hell…” he got out. He was so angry he could barely form words properly. “What exactly do you take me for?”

Terra was still thoroughly unfazed by his wrath, and that only made Vanitas angrier. He caught Ventus starting to look worried, but he couldn’t care less about that other idiot right now.

“Can you really blame me?” asked Terra. “You should see the way you are whenever she’s around.”

“Would you shut up!”

“All I’m asking is that you reign it in a little bit. We’re all still here for training, and I don’t want whatever you feel for her getting in the way.”

Vanitas scoffed at him. “Don’t go acting all high and mighty thinking you can tell me what to do. You’re not my Master!”

“No. She is. And you really should remember that.”

His teeth clenched. “I didn’t ask for your opinion!” he gritted out. At this point, Terra could make one wrong movement and Vanitas would charge without hesitation.

“Guys!” Ventus spoke up. He pushed himself further between them, clearly sensing the tension. “Let’s just calm down. This discussion really isn’t helping anything.”

For a moment, Terra looked as if he might relent, but then he kept going.

“I’m just giving him a reality check,” Terra spoke. “I know the circumstances aren’t normal right now, but you can’t just date your Keyblade Master. It isn’t done.”

Vanitas jolted at the word ‘date’, but he wasn’t going to stand down. Not over something this dumb.

“Have you ever considered that it might be because they’ve all been old men up until recently?”

Terra narrowed his eyes at him. “Age has got nothing to do with it. It’s about your standing.”

This was so stupid.

“I don’t know if you remember,” Vanitas went on. “But she’s only been my official Master since yesterday! So excuse me for not giving a crap!”

“You should,” he shot back. “Have you even thought it through at all? She can’t be giving you special treatment, you know.”

Something clicked within Vanitas. Now things were starting to make sense. He let out a vicious grin.

“Oh, I get it. You’re jealous.”

Terra stared at him blankly. He stared for what felt like an eternity. Then he burst into laughter. Whatever certainty Vanitas held began to vanish.

“What? Of you?” Terra got out. As his laughter finally died down, he wiped a tear from his eye. “Thanks for the laugh, I needed that.”

That rage within Vanitas was starting to spring forth again. He couldn’t even recall a time where Terra laughed like that.

Even so, he repressed his fury down into a simmer. For now.

“What the hell is so funny?”

Terra wasn’t laughing anymore, but that smirk he shot him still infuriated him.

“I don’t need to be jealous of you,” he told him. “Aqua is one of my best friends, and I know that isn’t changing anytime soon. No, what I’m really worried about is how what you feel for her affects her.”

Vanitas stared him down again. “What are you talking about now?”

“Being a Master is all she’s wanted for the longest time. And now, after everything that’s happened, she finally gets a chance to train somebody.” His eyes flashed to Vanitas. “How do you think she’d feel if that student was only training with her for some other reason?”

Something in Vanitas snapped. That was the last straw.

He charged for Terra, ready to claw his face off. But before he could even get close, Ventus had shoved into him, using his whole body to hold him back.

“Listen!” he shouted. “There’s no reason to fight!”

He snarled at his other half. “Stay the hell out of this! I want this damn brute to tell me what he really thinks of me!”

“Oh, you wanna know?” Terra had stepped closer too, like he was goading him on. “Like the rest of us, I thought you’ve been turning over a new leaf. But now it seems like you always had some other goal in mind.”

“Stop!” Ventus shouted again. While still pushing back Vanitas, he turned to Terra. “You can’t assume stuff like that, Terra! Do you really think this is helping anything?”

“What else am I supposed to assume? I know how much he hated us. How much he still hates us. It just makes sense. What other reason could he possibly want to spend so much time with her?”

Ventus’ grip on him loosened. But there was no time to question why.

That was enough. Vanitas pushed past him and charged towards Terra. There was barely any time for him to react before Vanitas’ fist arched upwards and slammed into his chin. His jaw was as solid as the rest of him, and he suspected he hurt his hand more in the punch than that moron’s face. Even so, Terra grunted and stepped back from the force of it. His hand rose to rub at his chin, and he began glaring daggers at Vanitas.

Meanwhile Vanitas was staring back, glaring back with an equal amount of intensity. The punch had allowed him to expel some of that pent up fury, but he was still more pissed off than he had been in a while.

“Listen up,” he began, still seething. “There’s something really important that you need to understand. Whatever happens between me and her is none of your fucking business!”

Both of them froze at what he said. Even Terra’s eyes had widened. He already seemed regretful, but Vanitas kept going.

“To tell you the truth, I don’t even care what you think about me. I never have and I never will. But then you come here and try to tell me what my own feelings are? Are you that stupid? And that’s not even the worst bit! You think you need to defend her! Do you really think she needs it?”

He glared at Terra, daring him to answer. But Terra was barely looking at him now, and instead seemed focused somewhere off to the side.

“And one more thing,” Vanitas continued. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but she’s the most skilled fighter here. She’s the one of the most skilled fighters I’ve met by a longshot! What kind of idiot would train with her for any other reason?”

“Terra,” Ventus spoke up again. Vanitas was a little surprised he hadn’t gone to his friend’s defence, but he remembered he was the one who let go and let him punch the idiot in the first place. “You know he’s right. And you know Aqua’s smarter than that. She wouldn’t be training someone who didn’t take it seriously.”

Vanitas watched Terra grimace as he received blow after blow. He had to know he was losing this fight. Eventually, he let out a sigh, pulling his hand away from his face.

“You’re right,” he muttered. “She would have definitely seen right through you. Sorry, I think I still haven’t been very fair to you.”

“I don’t want your apology,” Vanitas spat back. “I just want you to think the next time you wanna open your big dumb mouth.”

“He has a point, you know,” Ventus said to Terra. “Imagine what Aqua would think if she heard all this. Especially that you think he would be able to trick her about anything.”

Vanitas narrowed his eyes, but no one was paying him any mind anymore.

Terra sighed again. “Yeah, I get the picture.”

“And you don’t need to be worried,” Ventus added with a grin. “I know for a fact that his feelings for her are legitimate.”

“Hey!” Vanitas shouted, swivelling to him again. “Do I need to punch you too?”

Ventus tapped his jaw. “Already did that, remember?”

“So, what are you gonna do now?”

Vanitas knew Terra was speaking to him again. He shot him a warning glare in return, but it still didn’t faze him.

“And yeah,” he continued. “I know it’s not my business, but are you gonna tell her about it?”

His glare faltered, just from the shock of what he said.

“What?” Vanitas blurted out. “Don’t be stupid.”

“I think you should,” Ventus added. “But knowing her, there’s a good chance she’s already figured it out.”

Vanitas shook his head. “No way. If she knew that, she wouldn’t still be acting so friendly to me.”

That was something he was almost certain about. If she had any clue about his not-so-friendly feelings towards her, she certainly wouldn’t be trying to hang around him so much. He was sure the others would agree, but Ventus and Terra just gave each other an odd look before turning back to him.

“You really think so, huh?” Ventus mused. “You think she’ll get mad or hate you or something?”

He recognised that tone he used. It was pity. Vanitas glowered at him, not even sure where he was going with this.

“What else would she do?”

“Now you’re the one being stupid,” Terra spoke up. He was wearing that same expression Ventus did, but at least he seemed to be getting frustrated. “Do you honestly think she’d do something like that? I thought you liked her; you should know the kind of person she is.”

Vanitas flinched back. Red flooded to his cheeks. He tried to hide it, but it just felt pointless now.

“Don’t say that!” he hissed. “And yeah, of course I know the kind of person she is. But that doesn’t change the kind of person I am. If I told her and she reacted any other way than disgust, it would just be like she’s just sparing my feelings. And that’s worse to me.”

Terra looked like he was almost on the verge of believing him. But then Ventus stepped forward.

“Alright, enough of that!” he shouted. “You’ve really gotta stop selling yourself so short. Come on, she obviously cares about you, and I’m sure even Terra sees it.”

“Ven’s right,” said Terra. “She wouldn’t be doing all this stuff for you if she didn’t care.”

Vanitas grimaced. It seemed like no matter what he did, neither of them were giving up.

“I know she cares,” he got out. “That’s not the problem!”

“Then what is?” Ventus shot back. “Are you really so sure she can’t feel the same way?”

“Ven-”

“No, Terra.” Ventus turned to him again. “I don’t agree with the stuff you were saying before. Yeah, maybe if she had been our Master this whole time, you’d have a point. But even if she’s training us now, we’re all still friends, aren’t we? Even if she’s ranked higher than us, that won’t be the case for very long. So what’s the problem?”

His words seemed to have an effect on Terra. Vanitas was just in shock at how heated Ventus was getting over all this. But he wasn’t done. He turned back to Vanitas and kept talking.

“We’re friends,” he repeated. “Which means she has just as much a chance falling for you as anyone else.”

Vanitas glared at him, doing what he could to shove down that feeling rising up in him. He was wrong.

“Stop trying to get my hopes up.”

Terra let out a groan, and that sound was so unexpected that everyone looked up at him. He rubbed at his forehead, like he was fighting a headache.

“I’m really getting tired of all that self-pity.” As he spoke, his eyes bored into Vanitas. “What happened to that overconfident bastard who gave all of us hell?”

He clenched his teeth. “That’s my whole point!”

“You’re so impossible!”

Vanitas looked over at Ventus in surprise, just as the idiot charged towards him. He grabbed hold of both his shoulders and started to shake him back and forth. After getting over that initial shock, Vanitas tried to pull him off, but he wasn’t letting go. He actually seemed angry too.

He couldn’t remember a time when Ventus lost his cool like this. Not for something this meaningless.

“How many times do we have to go over this?” he shouted while still shaking him. “She wouldn’t spend so much time around you if she didn’t enjoy it!”

“Let go of me!” Vanitas spat.

“Come on!” he shouted again. It was like Vanitas’ words fell on deaf ears. He released one of his shoulders, only to point at the book sitting on the windowsill. “Everyone knows that girls like it when guys are interested in the same things they are! Don’t you dare try and tell me you don’t even have a chance!”

Vanitas blushed at that, but he managed to shove him away finally. The first thing he did once he was free was snatch the book from the windowsill and hide it behind his back. But that only made Ventus smirk at him. Vanitas felt his anger bubble up again.

“Would you shut up already?” he yelled, not even giving him a chance to speak again. “I didn’t ask for a pep talk from you idiots! And I thought I told you to mind your own business!”

Terra chuckled, causing Vanitas to swivel around to him again.

“And I don’t wanna hear a word from you!”

“Alright,” Terra sighed. He strolled over to Ventus, tapping him on the shoulder. “Come on, Ven. We should probably leave him alone. At least I got some of my worries alleviated.”

Vanitas narrowed his eyes. “Well, isn’t that nice for you.”

“I mean it,” he said, turning back to him. He rubbed his chin again. “I think I deserved that punch. I mistrusted you so much that I forgot just how amazing Aqua can be. If she can get someone like you to fall for her, then she really must be something else.”

He grimaced at his words, but this had already gone too far for him to try denying it.

“Well, you’re right about one thing at least,” he muttered. “She is amazing.”

“Great to hear. Just remember that you’re supposed to be training.”

His face heated up again, but he had nothing else to say to that. At least it seemed like Terra was finally done talking. After one last smirk, he turned to leave, but he stopped when he noticed Ventus wasn’t doing the same.

“Ven?”

“You go on ahead. I’ll just be a minute.”

Terra raised an eyebrow, but soon he shrugged and went on his way. But Vanitas had turned his glare to Ventus, knowing there was more he wanted to say. Something he didn’t want to bring up in front of other people.

Vanitas waited until Terra was gone before speaking.

“What is it now? Haven’t you bothered me enough?”

He just wanted to get it out of the way, knowing it wouldn’t be pleasant. And just like he thought, Ventus’ gaze had turned serious.

“Something happened this morning, didn’t it?”

Vanitas flinched. Of course he’d know about that.

“What’s it to you?”

Ventus shoved his hands in his pockets and looked down at the floor. When he made that point of looking away from him, it was starting to make Vanitas nervous.

“I’m just curious,” Ventus admitted. “But I think you should know, Aqua was acting pretty weird at breakfast this morning.”

Something in his stomach dropped.

“…Weird?” He barely got out the word.

“Yeah,” he continued. “When we got down there, she seemed really distracted about something. And… she looked kinda sad. We asked her about it, but she just brushed it off and blamed it on a bad night’s sleep.”

The image of it flew through his head. Vanitas pulled a hand up to his face. He felt dizzy.

“I would have believed her,” Ventus went on. He finally pulled his head up to look at Vanitas again. “But then I felt something from your end. I think you might know why she was acting that way.”

It’s because he stormed off again. After everything she had done for him too. She scheduled a private training session outside of usual hours, and he repaid her by walking off in the middle of it. Just because he was scared.

Back then, he was worried he had hurt her. But he wouldn’t have thought he actually did. Knowing that she was pained enough for Ventus to notice caused a whole new type of agony within him.

“Vanitas,” Ventus murmured to him. He had moved in front of him again grabbed his shoulders. Only Vanitas had no drive to pull away. “You really should talk to her properly. I think it’ll be good for the both of you.”

He wanted to tell him to shut up, but no words would come out. Luckily, he got the hint himself and released his grip. He turned to leave, flashing him a smile on his way, like he was trying to reassure him. But he should have known that wouldn’t work.

When Vanitas was alone again, he did his best to try and calm down. But he knew nothing would help. That morning just ran through his head over and over again. And now, that new knowledge he received was dumped on top of all of it.

She had been sad at breakfast. And he knew it was because of him. But the more he thought about it, the less sense it made. He thought it was for walking off, but he had been far crueller than that before. What made this morning any worse?

Something was clenched in his hand. He went to throw it in frustration, but he stopped himself when he remembered. Looking down, he glanced at the book he borrowed from her, the one he had barely even started yet. He was just glad he hadn’t managed to dent it more than he already did.

Why was he even doing this anymore? The whole thing just seemed pointless. Ventus had said something about girls liking it when guys are interested in the same things they are, and he was sure that may have been part of the reason he stuck with it. It was like some fragment of him thought these would make him more appealing. More human.

He grimaced. That thought disgusted him, and he had to stop himself from throwing the book again.

But Aqua had been happy that he borrowed it, hadn’t she? So happy that she even overlooked him going in her room. Come to think of it, she had been weirdly cheerful all morning too, and that just made learning what happened after more of a shock. He must have really done something terrible and not known it.

Vanitas froze. He just thought of something. Something that might explain it.

Dread ballooned in him once again, more potent than before. He legs wobbled and he had to lean himself against the wall.

No… did she… figure it out?

That would explain everything. If she figured it out near the end, when he almost let it slip, then that would explain that hesitation he saw. It would explain why something was distracting her now. Why something had upset her.

He wanted to cry out but stopped himself. He wanted to run off somewhere, but there was nowhere to go. Even if he went to her right now to try and explain himself, what would he say? Would he just try denying it again? Was there even a point to it anymore?

His body slid down the wall on its own, and he put no effort into stopping it. The book dropped to the floor beside him, allowing his hands to yank at his hair. The sting helped a little bit.

What was he supposed to do? He wanted to keep training with her, he wanted that more than anything. But could that even happen now? He had no idea if he could even look at her anymore, not when he feared what her face would reveal. Not when he feared her looking at him in disgust. Or worse. Pity.

The rest of the afternoon disappeared from him. He had returned to his room at some point, aware it would be dinner soon. He dreaded it. There was no way he could skip it too, or Aqua would seriously think something was wrong. It would seriously hurt her again.

He dragged himself from his room after much reluctancy and trudged towards the dining room. Voices spilled out the door once he reached it. Everyone else was already there.

He couldn’t stall anymore. He grabbed the door handle and pushed it open.

Silence fell upon the room as he entered, all conversation ceasing. Everyone looked up at him, each with varying levels of surprise.

Aqua sat at the end of the table, looking like she was on the verge of dropping her utensils.

That dread returned. He could see it now. Something was bothering her.

But she covered it up, trying to pretend the slip didn’t happen. She pushed a smile to her face.

“I’m glad you’re here,” she began. She rose from her chair, just to grab something she had set to the side. He recognised the bowl, already wrapped up for later. “Sorry, I didn’t know if you were coming, so I…”

She trailed off after that. She hadn’t known what else to say.

There was a tension in the air. It was potent enough that Vanitas was sure everyone could feel it.

“It’s fine,” he grunted. He stepped over to take his seat, aware of Ventus and Terra staring at him the entire time. But they were the least of his concern now.

Aqua walked over, placing the dish in front of him. He watched her out of the corner of his eye the whole time, trying to discern any changes in expression. She was still trying to smile, but he saw right through it.

Once the meal was in front of him, she remained there. She hovered there, again looking like she wanted to say something.

But she didn’t. Before long, she returned to her own seat.

Vanitas stared at his bowl, desperate not to let anything show on his face.

Ventus was right. Something was wrong. He’d never seen her act so wary around him, not like that. It was like all his fears were coming true.

He took a chance and peered over at her.

She was staring back. But the moment their eyes met, she spun away.

Something cold stabbed into him. If he wasn’t certain nothing was there, he would have been convinced someone ran him through with a knife. It probably would have hurt less.

When he turned back to his food and the memories of the morning went through his head again, he came to a cold realisation.

Just like that, he had already ruined things.

Chapter Text

She was definitely avoiding him.

Even an idiot could have guessed as much. It didn’t exactly take a genius to figure it out, especially after what happened when he showed up for breakfast the next morning. He had barely even stepped foot in the kitchen when Aqua jumped from her seat. A foolish part of him thought she was coming to greet him, but that greeting was little more than a jumble of words as she fled from the room. He caught something about her running late, but he couldn’t say whether that was the truth or not.

Vanitas was left to find his seat as his irritation rose up. After all the effort he went to just to show up and try to pretend things were normal, she just had to go and ruin it. Now he wanted to leave too. It didn’t help that he could feel those other idiots staring at him. It made his skin crawl.

Ventus sat somewhere across from him, and he could tell without looking at him that he wanted to open his mouth. That wasn’t going to happen. Without wasting time, he grabbed a few slices of bread from the table, not even bothering to do anything with them, and stormed from the room. He dreaded Ventus following him, but if he had plans to go after him, he didn’t make it obvious.

As he made his way back through the castle, he wasn’t surprised when his thoughts returned to Aqua. Especially after what she just did. He wanted to believe she was just busy. She said she was running late after all. Maybe she had her whole day booked and couldn’t waste a second. As a Master and all that, she probably had all sorts of things to do and she couldn’t wait for him to show up all the time. She might have been getting ready to leave the moment he showed up and it was his fault for being late.

But he knew the truth. She would have figured a way out of there even if he was early.

It didn’t stop there either. He barely even saw her the rest of the day. She would still greet him if their paths crossed, but it always felt hollower than usual. Like they were back to barely being acquaintances rather than friends. Any greeting she gave felt more for show than anything, like she was worried those friends of hers would notice any dramatic change in their interactions. But it was futile; they knew her too well. At least neither of them tried to say anything about it, which Vanitas was thankful for.

But after an entire day of awkward interactions, Vanitas returned to his room that night, contemplating whether to throw himself from the window. It would surely be less painful than what was happening now. The only thing stopping him was his pride. That, and he didn’t want to know what her reaction would be. Maybe she’d be grateful that she wouldn’t have to deal with him anymore. Or maybe she would be sad about it somehow. He didn’t know which reaction would kill him more.

He groaned as her image floated into his mind once again. He had to have known this would happen. This horrible situation was just his punishment for thinking he could ever be close to her. Of course, the moment she found out what he felt, she pulled away in disgust. It was inevitable. Here he was, some dark abomination who managed to trick people into thinking he was human. He almost even tricked himself.

But the truth was he wasn’t human. He never would be. Idiots like Ventus could argue all they wanted, but they were just ignoring the obvious.

If there was one chink in that argument, it would have to be these awful feelings he managed to develop. Maybe some would consider it some sort of miracle, but to him it was just another way to be punished. He could try to hide what he felt all he wanted, but there was only so much he could do. She was way too smart to be fooled for very long.

He drifted to sleep that night with a single thought. He needed to stop. Whatever was going on in his heart, it had to stop. He had to go back to looking at her as a rival, maybe even an instructor if he felt generous. But he could not love her. Such a stupid emotion would only bring pain.

No. It already had.

But in the end, it didn’t matter how determined he was. The moment he saw her the next morning, nearly every bit of resolve crumbled. It was the same thing that happened every time he laid eyes on her. He would get caught up in every little thing she did, every little movement, and couldn’t look away. She was talking with the others about something. He couldn’t care less about what it was, but that smile on her face was radiant. He stood in the doorway wishing it was him she was smiling at, like she had been not too long ago.

When the image of that warm, wonderful smile of hers flashed through his mind, he retreated from the room. He knew if he stayed, she would spot him, and that smile would fade into uneasiness. Just the thought of it made something in him die.

That’s when he realised; he couldn’t be near her either. If she wanted to avoid him, she would get her wish.

He headed for the entrance, wanting to make his way to the training grounds before anyone saw him. He had almost made it too, but then he felt someone tap him on his shoulder. Vanitas swivelled around to see Ventus standing behind him with a stupid grin on his face. He couldn’t believe the idiot managed to sneak up on him.

“Gonna train?” he asked him. “Mind if I join you?”

Vanitas glared at him like he was something he scraped off the bottom of his shoe. He got the impression Ventus knew how he felt about his offer, even if he didn’t show it.

“You know what,” Ventus continued, not even giving him time to respond. “Don’t answer. I’m going with you no matter what you say.”

He was being especially grating today.

“Why even ask if you were just gonna do it anyway?”

“Just the polite thing to do,” he responded. “Maybe you should give it a try sometime.”

Vanitas felt a vein in his head bulge. Great. He was already getting a headache this early in the morning.

Said headache followed him out of the castle the second he tried to leave. Vanitas badly wanted him to leave him alone, but he knew if there was a way to do that, he would have found it by now.

He made his way to those stupid rings, hoping to blow off some steam. He also didn’t want his training to involve Ventus in any way. After summoning his Keyblade, he took a swing at one of the golden hoops, pouring all of his frustration into the strike. The clang it gave off was loud enough that he wondered if people in the castle heard.

“So, Vanitas-”

“Don’t talk to me.”

For one brief, blissful moment, he almost forgot Ventus was there, but then he had to go ruin it by opening his mouth. He could tell he was sitting on the wall somewhere behind him, but he refused to acknowledge him any more than he already had.

“You can’t stop me from talking, you know,” he said. “Why not humour me a little?”

“Nope.”

When Ventus went quiet, for a moment he thought that would be the end of it. He should have known better.

“So, have you talked to her yet?”

Vanitas fumbled his next strike as Ventus spoke. He refused to let his embarrassment show, so he spun around to shoot him a glare. Despite all the contempt he poured into it, the idiot wasn’t fazed at all.

“I mean, I already know the answer,” Ventus continued. “If you had, I don’t think you’d be sulking so much.”

“I thought I told you not to talk to me.”

“I get it though,” he went on, not even listening. “It can be hard putting yourself on the line like that.”

He wasn’t giving up. Was he really so bored? Vanitas let out a groan.

“Wow, you are especially annoying today.”

“You know what’s annoying?” Ventus asked, jumping up from his seat. He still wore a smile, but his frustration was starting to seep through. “Watching you constantly shoot yourself in the foot. Would it kill you to act like a human being for five seconds?”

“Since when have I-”

“Don’t even start with that,” said Ventus, cutting him off. He stepped closer, but thankfully still kept his distance. Vanitas was already tempted to shove him off the edge. “It doesn’t matter where you came from, you’re still a person. And you deserve happiness as much as anyone else.”

When he took another step forward, Vanitas swung his Keyblade upwards and pointed it at his chest. It got Ventus to stop in place, but nothing else had changed. He was still acting like he was right.

“Didn’t I tell you it’s none of your business?” he hissed at him. “Now, why don’t you leave me alone already? I don’t know what you thought you’d accomplish, but you failed.”

Ventus raised a hand up, only to knock Vanitas’ Keyblade to the side. He was so sure he wouldn’t hurt him and that was almost as irritating as the things he was saying.

“I’m just telling you avoiding her isn’t going to solve any problems,” he said. “What exactly are you so afraid of?”

He wanted to pull up his weapon again. Wipe that look off his face. But what would that accomplish? It wouldn’t prove him wrong.

Vanitas clenched his fists. His Keyblade had already vanished on its own.

“You have no idea what I’m going through!” he choked out. “Don’t pretend like you do! What, you get a whiff of my emotions and think you know everything about me? You’re not the one who has to live with them!”

Finally, Ventus’ smile was faltering. He would be happy about that if he wasn’t already so pissed off.

“You do realise I’m telling you this because I’m worried for you, right?”

“Then you’re a moron,” Vanitas glowered. “No one asked you to worry for me.”

“I’m worried for Aqua too,” he added. “Not just you. I know there’s something bothering her, even if she pretends it’s nothing.”

“Can’t you tell that I don’t wanna talk about her!” Vanitas yelled out. “She’s the one who’s been avoiding me!”

He hadn’t meant to say that. He saw a flash of pity cross Ventus’ face and he knew that this had gone far enough. He shoved past Ventus without another word, hoping he’d have the sense not to follow him. They were on a narrow path after all. And after everything, he very badly wanted to follow up on that urge to shove him off the edge.

Fortunately for both of them, Ventus stayed behind and Vanitas returned to the castle alone.

Some irritating part of him tried to argue that Ventus was right, but he shut that down immediately. It didn’t matter what he thought; Vanitas could not be the one to break the silence. Why didn’t he understand that? It would be like asking for his heart to be crushed.

No, he just needed to hold out until they both forgot anything had even happened. He needed to focus on his training. Even if he had to do more of it solo from now on, he couldn’t forget his drive to become stronger. It was all he had left.

And besides, he liked to think he knew Aqua pretty well by now. She was always trying to solve problems and there was no way she would let this go on for much longer. He just had to wait until she decided enough was enough and they could talk again. The thought filled him with dread, but it was like ripping off a bandage in a way. The longer he left it, the more it would fester. It would be way better in the long run to tear it off, expose his heart to the pain, just so he could start moving forward. He just couldn’t be the one to do it.

But surely this was starting to drive her crazy too. It wouldn’t be long until she tried to talk to him again.

At least that’s what he wanted to believe. But then the days turned into weeks and nothing had changed.

Those weeks were hell, Vanitas was positive about that. He almost wanted to give up entirely. He knew it was his own fault things had gotten this bad, but he still refused to do anything. It would only take him breaking and saying something to her, but he would die before being the one to try and fix things.

Something was ruined that day. After that morning, it was like whatever progress he made getting close to her had rolled backwards. All he had to do was keep his stupid feelings in check and he would have been fine.

Only it was too late now. From the way she treated him now, she knew. She had to. But they never spoke of it.

They never really spoke of anything.

It wasn’t like they didn’t interact at all; that would be impossible seeing as she was still supposed to train him. But it felt like that was the only time they ever spoke. And to make things worse, they only had those stupid group training sessions now. Those didn’t count of course, as he also had those other two hovering over his shoulder the whole time. He’d rather skewer himself on his own Keyblade before trying to have a deep conversation in front of those two idiots.

And outside of training? She somehow always had something to do. The moment the sessions ended, she was already off to start her next task. When he thought about it, he realised she had been busy for a while now. He often caught her having long conversations with someone behind closed doors, likely over those phones they carried. Whenever he tried listening in, he would only catch her end and all he ever heard was her repeatedly agreeing with something. It annoyed him that he never really heard her give her opinion, but he couldn’t say he really understood the politics of being a Keyblade Master.

Still, he wondered what she was up to, even though he knew finding out would involve talking to her. It was probably something dull anyway. He was aware of all the responsibilities and duties she had, and he didn’t exactly envy her for it. On top of training him and the others, she was also the Master guarding this land. He had no idea what kind of toil that took, especially when it had fallen once before.

But now, that just felt like an excuse. She used to make a lot more time for him. That training session she arranged before dawn was a great example. Just from that, it was clear that she was avoiding him, but not in a way that casual onlookers would notice. She still exchanged pleasantries and acknowledged him whenever he entered a room, but all of that ended in those few instances they were alone. In those moments, he could see that façade start to crumble. He could see those walls she was putting up.

He wanted to tear them down, but he was terrified to try.

It would be so simple. He would just need to ask why she was avoiding him. But no matter how much he desperately wanted to know, he wasn’t ready for her answer. He had a feeling he knew what it was anyway.

It really hadn’t sunk in just how long it had been until he felt the weather grow colder. Even he began to resent the chill in the air. But it was a good distraction.

This night was the coldest yet. He had spent countless nights lying awake in bed, but at least now he could pretend it was for another reason.

He spun onto his side, trying to chase the little warmth he had. But it’s not like he would be able to sleep anyway, even if he was comfortable. He knew he was nearing his breaking point with Aqua. Enough that it nearly made him want to march over to her and demand answers. But that fear weighed him down.

Rolling onto his back, he thought about how she might be handling this cold. There was no doubt that she’d have the foresight to get thicker blankets before going to sleep. She always seemed to feel the cold way worse than he did. Right now, she was probably bundled up in bed, holding onto whatever bit of warmth she could. He remembered just how soft her blankets were from that night.

His hands gripped at his face. No. He couldn’t think about that. But the memory of that night he found her after a nightmare flooded his mind. It was the first time she had really let her guard down around him like that. The first time she called him a friend. Even though he longed for another night like that where they shared their fears, he didn’t know what that sort of discussion would bring now.

He held back a groan and forced his eyes shut. He was far from being asleep, but he needed some sort of break from these thoughts. He was almost tempted to cast a sleep spell on himself at this point. As it was, he remained wide awake.

Wide awake enough to sense someone by the door.

Aqua.

He jumped upright, his heart doing the same. It took all he had to remember to breathe, to calm down. There were so many reasons she could have been outside his door this late at night. A nightmare may have woken her, and she was strolling the castle to shake it off. She might have heard something in the hall and was going to investigate. Or she was sleep walking. It could have been any number of reasons.

But it didn’t matter what sort of excuses he could come up with. Nothing could explain why she hadn’t moved from his door.

She remained just outside his room for what felt like ages. Time had frozen completely as the two of them were engaged in a stalemate. He wondered if she even realised it. Did she even know he was sitting there awake and staring through the door?

He swallowed and began to work up his courage. This might have been the moment things would end. He didn’t know what would happen when he opened that door, and it terrified him. Would she even be in the mood to talk? Maybe she had just been wandering the castle and lingered outside his door for some other reason. It was way too much to hope for that they would have another night where they talked like that.

But she had finally come to him. This was what he was waiting for, right? After all this time, she wandered in his direction again. No matter what, he couldn’t let this moment slip through his fingers.

He thought that, but before he even got the chance to leave his bed, her presence began to diminish. She was walking away.

Something in him deflated. He wanted to yell. He wanted to throw something. This was because he hesitated. This could have been resolved, and he hesitated.

What if he just ran after her? The longer he stalled, the less he thought he could. The window of opportunity was rapidly shutting, and he sat in bed too frozen to do anything about it.

When her presence was gone completely, it gave his mind a chance to clear itself of panic. But then fury began to take its place.

No, he wasn’t the only one hesitating. He wasn’t the one who did all they could to avoid being in the same room as the other. He wasn’t the one who made their way over in the middle of the night, only to chicken out at the last second.

It was her. She was the real coward here. It felt so unfitting considering every other extraordinary thing she had done, but that’s what she was.

Why didn’t she just open the door and kill him? Surely that was the logical thing to do if she really tired of him. The only reason she hadn’t was because she’s too scared to do it.

He knew she didn’t want to get her hands dirty. Didn’t want to admit she failed to reform him. Maybe he had to take matters into his own hands.

If she wouldn’t dispose of him like she was meant to, he would give her a reason. He would threaten her, fight her…

Hurt her.

That last thought brought a wave of nausea over him. He should have expected it.

No matter how angry he was at her, the thought of harming her now made him sick.

If it came down to it and she wanted to destroy him, he would let her. That was how pitiful things had become for him.

He didn’t sleep at all the rest of the night. He knew why; he was still waiting in case she turned up again. It was so pathetic, but no matter how unlikely it was, he was determined to not let it go the same way as last time. He would throw open that door and not let her leave until she told him what she was doing there. There had to be a reason she was doing all this.

But she didn’t come back. The rest of the night passed without incident.

When he saw her the next morning, he almost asked her about it. He reconsidered when he saw her acting the same as she had been, like nothing had even happened. Part of him wondered if he dreamt it up, but he knew what her presence felt like now. It was hard to imagine that just being a dream.

So he waited the next night. And the next. It didn’t happen again. She must have been scared like he was.

That’s why he was surprised when she spoke to him at breakfast days later.

“Van?”

He almost choked on his food. It had felt like an eternity since she called him by that name. A feeling of warmth began to spread throughout his body. But then he remembered everything that happened, and it was like being doused in cold water. How could he forget? He set down his spoon and turned towards her with caution, readying himself for anything.

She was smiling at him. She was actually trying to pretend that the last few weeks hadn’t happened. But even if he wanted to pretend too, the shadow of guilt in her eyes ruined any slim chance of that happening.

“What is it?” he mumbled. He wanted to add on ‘Oh, are you finally talking to me?’ but he held his tongue.

Even though he hadn’t said that part, that guilt on her face began creeping to the forefront, held back by the most desperate of smiles. He didn’t even have to mention his discontent; it was probably written all over his face.

“I think I’ve been neglecting you,” she spoke. “Sorry, I’ve just had a lot on my plate lately.”

It wasn’t like he didn’t believe her. He knew she was busy. He just wished she wouldn’t make excuses.

That was not the reason they weren’t talking, and she knew it.

“Whatever,” he grumbled again. “So, what do you want?”

She flinched at his words, even though he thought he hadn’t sounded that irritated.

And now, that hesitation was back.

It was really starting to get on his nerves.

“I was wondering if you wanted to train this afternoon,” she said. She refused to look him in the eye. “I was able to get a break from the work I was doing, and I was hoping we could use it to get a better idea of how you’re improving.”

Was that all she wanted? He scoffed. “We still train together; shouldn’t you know by now?”

“That’s true,” she admitted. “But we’ve only had group sessions lately, and I wanted to see how you were on your own.”

It must have been some sort of peace offering. Or maybe her friends had finally noticed something was wrong between the two of them and she had to prove otherwise. He hated the idea though. He wanted her to be doing this of her own volition.

Regardless, the offer was more tempting than it should have been. Of course it was. It was Aqua.

“Fine,” he muttered. “But I want a real one this time. I don’t want you running off too quickly.”

His words struck something in her and she seemed to shrink into herself. Good. At least she was aware of how she’d been acting.

“Okay,” she spoke after taking a moment to think. “It’ll be a real training session.”

Vanitas only hoped she would stick to her word.

Waiting for afternoon to come was its own kind of torture, but soon enough Vanitas was heading for the main hall. Aqua was already there, just like always. She stood by the stairs, appearing deep in thought. She would often be contemplating something when left on her own, and it seemed like that hadn’t changed at all. He wondered what she would even be thinking about now. Maybe she already regretted calling him here.

When she heard him approach, she spun to face him. She still wore that same smile from earlier, like nothing happened.

But it wasn’t a real one. It was almost insulting that she thought he would be fooled by a smile like that.

His mouth curled in disgust. “Come on. Let’s get going.”

That seemed to stop whatever she was about to say. It was surely just some meaningless pleasantries, something he could go without. At least now that smile was gone. But a look of sadness took its place.

Vanitas summoned his Keyblade and pushed back that pathetic feeling surging within him. He didn’t know where to point his disgust anymore, but it was quickly being aimed towards himself.

He charged forward just to stop his thoughts, his blade curving towards her. She parried it with her own weapon like always, but he could feel the clang running through the both of them. It must have been the hardest he swung since returning. Even Aqua recoiled from the force.

Seeing that spurred something within him. This was a moment he had been waiting for, right? It was all the proof he needed that he was finally growing stronger again. After all this time, he could finally be a force to be reckoned with once more. He wanted nothing more than to revel in that victory. But he felt nothing. Only annoyed.

Especially when Aqua refused to look at him.

He pushed harder against her. “Hey, Master? You’re supposed to look at your opponent.”

She tensed at the word, but at least he finally got her eyes on him again. He kept his glare on her, like he was daring her to look away again. Her mouth opened to say something, but the words wouldn’t emerge. To make things worse, his eyes were drawn to her mouth again without realising it.

How long had it been since they were this close? To his heart, it was like the past few weeks hadn’t happened and things were just like how they were that morning. It was infuriating that his heart could betray him like that. He wanted to tear the stupid thing out, before it made him make another mistake.

He hadn’t realised how deep he had gone into his head until he heard Aqua speak.

“You’re upset, aren’t you?”

He gaped at her as her words registered. She had to realise just how stupid the question was. He was surprised something so dumb even came out of her mouth. His own mouth turned into a sneer as he pulled back, just to slam his weapon against hers again.

“Are you kidding me? Do you seriously have to ask that?”

“I know!” she blurted out. “I just…”

“Just what?” he shouted back. “What’s your excuse for avoiding me so much? Finally got sick of me?”

“No! That’s not it!”

“Don’t try and deny it!” he spat. “If you really can’t stand me anymore, then put me out of my misery like you’re supposed to!”

She jolted. A cloud of despair fell over her, potent enough that it made Vanitas nearly drop his stance. Aqua regained her faltering grip on her weapon and shook her head.

“No. I won’t do that.”

Her sadness was starting to creep into him, but he couldn’t let it. He gritted his teeth again and pushed back.

“Then what is it?” he hissed at her. “Too scared to do it? Too scared to admit you failed?”

“I haven’t failed!” she yelled back. “You know that just as well as I do.”

She was being ridiculous. So stubborn. Didn’t he deserve the truth?

He narrowed his eyes and tightened his grip on his weapon.

“Would you give it up?” he said, glowering at her. “What other possible reason would you have for avoiding me now?”

His eyes averted from his again. Just the sight of it made his rage spill forth.

Why wouldn’t she stop this? Hasn’t she made him suffer enough?

“Aqua!”

As he yelled out her name, he pulled his weapon back and slammed it against hers again with all his strength. It rattled the both of them, and he heard her let out a grunt from the sheer force. She was finally starting to struggle. But again, he felt nothing akin to victory.

He pulled back before charging forth once more. She was sluggish with her weapon. Everything moved in slow motion.

A clang rang out and a Keyblade was sent flying. It hit the ground several feet away.

Vanitas stared at his opponent in shock. He grasped his weapon.

Aqua was on her knees. She fell not long after her weapon was struck from her grasp. Vanitas pointed his directly at her.

Once the moment caught up with him, he was flooded with disbelief. He still fought to catch his breath, but that earlier rage had begun to die down.

There was no mistaking about what just happened.

He did it. He disarmed her. This was it. This was what he had been training for, right? After all this time staring up at her, idolising her, she was finally brought beneath him. The old him could only dream of a moment like this.

But now, the thought of swinging his blade down only filled him with horror.

She must have realised he hadn’t moved. Aqua pulled her head up to look at him. When her eyes met his, that terrifying feeling coursed through him again. It only got worse when she smiled at him. A real smile.

“You did it,” she said. “I knew you could.”

He backed away, letting his Keyblade fall from his grip.

“What was that?” he asked, taking another step back. He tried not to let his terror show. “Did you just throw the round?”

She began to pull herself upwards, brushing off her clothes as she did. She shook her head.

“No, I didn’t,” she told him. It took a moment before the next words came. “Actually, it reminded me of when we used to fight for real.”

That surprised him. This felt nothing like how they used to fight.

“You mean when I was trying to kill you?”

She flashed her eyes towards him for just a second. But it was only a second. Soon, she was looking away again.

“Yeah,” she spoke, barely louder than a whisper. “I… hadn’t seen you upset like that before.”

He was just confused now.

“What are you talking about? You’ve seen me angry.”

“Not like that,” she insisted. “I know your anger at me was different before. I guess now, it feels more like frustration than anything.”

“Frustration?” He could have laughed. “And who’s fault is that?”

He hadn’t meant to say that, but she seemed to be giving it serious thought.

She took a breath before turning to him again.

“Mine. I haven’t really been kind to you lately, have I?”

So, she did have some amount of self-awareness. But clearly not enough.

“Is that what you call it?” he muttered. “What even happened? One day you’re acting like we’re friends, then the next you can barely stand the sight of me.”

“That’s not-”

“Enough of that!” He cut her off. This was really getting old. “Don’t you think I at least deserve the truth? Why don’t you say it to my face?”

Aqua looked like she was at a complete loss for words. But Vanitas would wait there until she spoke. He would wait all day if he had to. He would not let her leave until she explained herself.

After a while, she finally said something.

“That isn’t why I was avoiding you,” she told him. “I was trying to give you space.”

He blinked at her. “Huh? Space?”

There had to be more she wanted to say, but she was starting to curl in on herself. It was weird seeing her being put on the spot like this. She looked as if she would rather be anywhere else. Some part of him was pleased that she felt even a fraction of the turmoil he felt, but this was all still so strange.

“I was… worried about you,” she finally said. “I think I must have been pushing things onto you too much, so I thought I’d better back off for a while.”

Vanitas didn’t even know what to think of this. Was that what she was doing?

“Are you serious?” he asked her. “You think completely pulling yourself away was gonna make me feel better?”

“What else was I supposed to do?” she asked back. “I know if I tried asking you what was wrong, you never would have given me a straight answer.”

“Is that really the excuse you’re going with?” he sneered. “And you’re just assuming something was even wrong in the first place.”

“I’m not making that up. Even Terra and Ven knew something had happened.”

He was very well aware of that. They knew way more than they needed to. Maybe it was futile to try and pretend that everything was still okay back then.

“I know asking you won’t get me anywhere,” she continued. “But you’re right. I shouldn’t have just left you alone. I should have come to you sooner.”

“But why didn’t you?” he asked her. He knew how hypocritical he was being, he just hoped she wouldn’t call him out on it. “What changed today? Did you finally get sick of this like I have?”

Something flashed in her eyes as he said that, but there was no point caring about his slip ups now.

“I think…” she began. “It had gone on long enough. There were so many times I wanted to talk to you sooner, but… I just couldn’t. I’m really sorry.”

He watched her. It was strange to see her distraught from all this. It was proof that this had been affecting her too, but he didn’t know if it came close to what he had been feeling.

Still, there was something else he wanted to know. Something he wondered about for days.

“That night,” he began. “Why did you come to my room?”

She spun towards him. Her eyes widened at that, like she hadn’t expected to be caught. Even as she turned away just as quickly, he could see the pink on her cheeks.

“Oh,” she got out. “You knew I was there?”

He didn’t even really need her confirmation. He knew that wasn’t a dream. She really was there.

“You ran off before I could open the door.”

When she went silent, Vanitas realised he messed up again. He caught her looking at him out of the corner of her eye, but once again, she turned away not long after she noticed him staring.

“You would have let me in?”

Panic flared up within him. Of course he would have let her in. Especially after everything he had already been thinking that night. But she couldn’t know that.

He still wondered what would have happened if he opened the door that night. Maybe they would just be having this same conversation, only a lot sooner. Maybe they would be friends again already.

Maybe something else would have happened, something he didn’t dare think about.

He couldn’t. It was pointless to even consider such things. He had already suffered enough at this point, he didn’t need to think about what he would do with her alone, so late at night.

Dammit. Not now.

“I mean, you would have come in anyway, right?” he muttered, still trying to save face.

She didn’t say anything to that. The silence was driving him crazy. He badly wanted this conversation to end, or to just go someplace else. He would talk about anything else at this point.

“Van,” she said after the longest time. Something in him jolted at hearing the name again. “I really messed up; I know that. But I also know there’s been something on your mind for a while now. I have no right to be asking you after what I’ve done, but do you think you can tell me what’s been bothering you?”

Even now, she wasn’t letting it go. He spun away from her. “I can’t.”

“If you had let me in that night, I wouldn’t have left until you told me.”

“You would have been there all night.”

“I know.”

Heat flooded to his cheeks after hearing that certainty in her voice. Now he was grateful she hadn’t opened that door. He wasn’t sure he would want her to leave either.

“I don’t like avoiding you,” she told him. “It was a mistake to let it go on so long. I just… didn’t know how to approach you again.”

He scoffed at that. “Glad you’re still treating me like some volatile creature.”

“That’s not it. It’s because I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“Well, you failed.”

That slipped out without him meaning to. She couldn’t know just how painful all of this was. Not when he could barely admit it to himself.

He still wasn’t looking at her. He wouldn’t be able to stand whatever expression she was giving him. Whatever it was, he would surely weaken under it.

It didn’t help at all when she started to approach him. As she stepped closer, his entire body tensed. She reached out a hand towards him, and he felt it hover in the space between them.

“Can I?” He knew exactly what she was asking, so there was no need to specify.

“Why would you want to?” he shot back. He still wouldn’t look at her. He wasn’t sure he could without caving in somehow.

But she didn’t answer him. Her fingertips met his shoulder blade, and they began to glide along the skin there. He shuddered as goosebumps formed along his arms.

She was standing so close. Touching him. It still amazed him that she would do that voluntarily.

Yet, it felt like she was holding back somehow. Her touches were light, like she was worried he would bruise. Or she was testing to see what she could get away with. Whatever it was, it annoyed him.

“Cut that out,” he muttered. It took all of his strength to do so. “Don’t just…”

He trailed off as Aqua retracted her hand, the apology already on her face. Even so, she still hovered near him.

“Sorry,” she murmured. “I know you don’t like it very much.”

She couldn’t be more wrong. He liked it when she touched him way too much. That was the whole problem. If he could just let himself relinquish a little bit of his self-control, then she would know exactly how much.

He would pull her back for starters to make sure she couldn’t run away. His hands would probably wander as he pulled her in closer than she dared to go. He would make sure her eyes were on him as he closed in, just to give her a taste of what he had been denying himself. In his wildest dreams, she would even go back for more.

But then he felt her pull herself away, and it broke him from his daydream. She was still so hesitant. He wondered if she even knew just how much she was teasing him right now.

When she tugged her hand back towards herself, something in him snapped. He caught her hand in mid-air before she could completely pull it away, securing it in his own hand. Part of him relished that look of surprise on her face.

“I said enough of that,” he told her. He tugged her closer, and it was his turn to be surprised at how easy it was. “You’re always pulling away. You’re not just worried for me, it’s like you’re scared of something.”

“Maybe I am.”

The admission was such a shock it almost made him drop her hand.

“Is that so strange?” she continued. Her eyes kept darting away from him. “I… I don’t know what this is anymore.”

“This?”

It felt almost wrong to say. He was starting to feel scared too.

“Or,” she kept going. “I don’t know what I want it to be.”

He couldn’t speak. Some feeling he didn’t want to describe was creeping up within him. He knew he was staring at her, but she refused to meet his gaze. If he could only see the look in her eye, he may have a better idea of what was going on. At the moment, he could only speculate and that was a dangerous thing to do.

But there was one thing he could not deny. She still hadn’t pulled her hand away.

“Those weeks…” she spoke up again. “I… missed you. But I was too scared to talk to you again, knowing what a fool of myself I made last time.”

She wasn’t making any sense at all. The longer this went on, the worse his assumptions will get. He needed to ask.

“Aqua…” He hated how his voice sounded. “What are you talking about?”

She shook her head. “I’m being stupid.” She went on like she hadn’t even heard him. “I’ve never had to deal with this before. I don’t know what to do.”

“What? Training someone?”

Even as he said it, it didn’t feel right. Aqua shook her head again.

“No, not that. It’s… something else.”

He watched her face, or whatever small fraction of it he could see. It was clear that she was fighting with herself about something. He could speculate about what it was all he wanted. But there was no need. He watched as she took a breath, and then felt her hand move along his. When she entwined their fingers together, his heart felt like it was about to stop.

“Aqua, what-”

His words died in his throat when she looked up at him again. She wore an expression he had never expected. Her entire face was flushed in a way that made his breath stop. She was smiling too, and he could see her nervousness breaking through.

“I really don’t know what I’m doing,” she began. “And I think that must have scared you off somehow. Even now, I kinda wanna run away too.”

He opened his mouth, but no words would emerge. What could he even say? Panic began to set in as his mind went into overdrive. There was no other way he would begin to comprehend what was happening.

Right now, he was hanging onto her every word, both dreading and anticipating what he might hear.

“There was another reason I was avoiding you,” she continued. “It was because… I needed some time to figure things out. After everything that happened, I just needed to think over things.”

“Aqua-”

“Do you remember those weeks we spent on our own? When you started reading my favourite book? I know you were just doing it to tease me, but…” she stopped and he could feel her start to shake from the nerves. “You called me pretty. And I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since.”

Some unknown feeling slammed into him. It smothered him, taking over everything else he had been within him until now. But unknown didn’t feel like the right way to describe it. It was like some messy combination of every feeling he’d been trying to suppress. Every single terrifying thing he felt around her was merging together, and it suffocated him.

W-What?

His brain was desperately firing off, trying to grasp at some sense of logic. Nothing made sense. This whole afternoon had been so weird, he wouldn’t be surprised if Aqua had knocked him out cold at some point and this was all just some wild hallucination. Maybe he was still sleeping, and this was just his mind’s way of tormenting him some more.

Because this couldn’t be happening.

He still felt her hand still in his. Their fingers entwined together. Her grip on him was soft, but then he felt his own rebellious fingers try to drag her closer.

Stop.

His mind was screaming at him. He regained enough sense to tug his hand away from her. She looked up at him in surprise as he began to back away. A flash of hurt crossed her face, but that didn’t register with him right now.

“This isn’t a funny joke, you know,” he said to her. He kept his voice low, not trusting how it would sound if he made it any louder.

“It’s not a joke!” she shouted. She took a step towards him again, like she wasn’t willing to let him get away so easily. Her face was still bright red. “I’m being serious! I don’t know why but… after then I just…”

She was clearly losing her nerve. But it didn’t matter. None of this made sense in the first place. He shook his head, his hand tugging at his hair, just as a way to ground himself. His entire mind was shutting down and he didn’t know how to react at all.

“What are you saying?” he muttered. “This… it sounds like…”

Even he couldn’t say it. Saying it would make it real.

“It was more than that,” she continued. More of her confidence had faltered, and she was back to refusing to look at him. “Honestly, you make me want to scream sometimes. You can be a real pain when you want to be. But then, we’ll be hanging out together and I’ll see the way you smile at me or laugh and I just…”

She trailed off, but he wasn’t ready to hear what she was about to say. This was by far the most terrified he had felt. Even dying couldn’t hold a candle to this.

“I’m doing it again,” she muttered, surprising him. “I’m making you uncomfortable.”

His head shook on its own. “No. I just… I don’t understand.”

“I don’t really either,” she said with a shrug. She pulled her head up to look at him again. “I’m… so scared right now, you have no idea. I just needed to say something.”

He believed her, especially after seeing that growing fear on her face. But his mind was still running at a million miles an hour trying to process it. Some part of him knew what she was trying to say, but something else in him wouldn’t accept it. Not until she said it plainly.

He rubbed at his forehead. “Just… what are you saying? Because it can’t be what I think.”

“And why not?” she asked him. “Is it really so bad?”

“Is it really…” he repeated after her, just to emphasise the absurdity of those words. “Do you even know who you’re talking to?”

“I know!” she yelled. “I know. I feel like I’m going insane, but-”

“You are,” he spoke. “You’re crazy.”

The moment those words left his lips, he wanted to pull them back in. Something in her expression dropped so rapidly it nearly gave him whiplash. But then another emotion began to fill the space it left. Anger.

“Don’t say that!” she yelled. “Don’t you dare say that!”

That sudden shift caught him off guard. It had been so long since he had seen her this angry. But the circumstances were so different back then that now he didn’t know how to react. All he could do now was push back.

“What else am I supposed to call it?” he yelled back at her. “It’s not exactly something a rational person would say!”

“And why not? Is it really that hard to believe?”

“Yes, it is! Or have you forgotten everything?”

“I forgave you!”

“You shouldn’t have! None of you should have!”

“But I did! You aren’t the same person you were back then, whether you like it or not!”

“Shows how much you’ve been paying attention!”

“I have been! Way too much attention!”

He froze up at her words. She did the same. Her hand flew up to her mouth, like she was in shock of what slipped out.

Meanwhile, he had to fight down that fluttering feeling in his chest. His anger was fleeing from him and quickly being replaced by something way worse. He needed to remember to breathe, to think. But that was impossible now. Especially when he caught her face again. Her anger had faded too, but her cheeks were still flushed. He knew his face probably looked the same.

“I don’t want to fight you,” she said after a moment. She took a step forward, making Vanitas all too aware of how close they were again. “Not about this. If you didn’t feel the same, that would be one thing, but…”

When her eyes caught his, he felt his cheeks light up like an inferno.

How long had she known?

He badly wanted to ask, but he was afraid he already knew the answer. That she had figured it out a long time ago. Maybe even before he noticed it himself.

“Van.” She called out his name again. She was so close it was messing with his already frazzled mind. “I’m really sorry. I should have just told you what I was thinking instead of running away. And now I think I’ve really hurt you.”

He spun his head from her. If she got much closer, he might do something really stupid.

Especially with the sort of things she was telling him.

“I… still don’t really know what I want,” she continued. “I think some part of me just wants to be near you. Even if you hate me now, I at least don’t want us to stop being friends. Please, I want to fix this.”

“Fix this?” he muttered. “You think I still want to be friends with you?”

Those words came out far more bitter than he intended. Aqua recoiled at them.

But it was true. There was no way they could be friends now. Not anymore.

He groaned and began to speak again.

“Do you think I can still be friends with you after all this?” he got out. “After weeks of you not talking to me, you think you get to come up to me and drop something like this?”

“I-I know.”

She was acting like a child being scolded. At least she realised how messed up this whole thing was. It helped to diminish some of those pathetic feelings he had.

And with that came a realisation. A grin broke through the turmoil, and for a split second it felt like his old self was taking over.

“Ah. I get it,” he spoke. “So, this whole time you were just toying with me? And now, what? You got bored? Honestly, I’m impressed. It takes something special to do something so vile.”

He had finally rendered her speechless. But he wasn’t done. He wouldn’t shut up.

“You call me a friend. Well, that isn’t something a friend would do. I thought you of all people would know better than that. And then you come to me with excuses? You think I’m gonna let you off for not telling me what’s going on and running away like a coward-”

“Well, what about you?” she shot back. “What makes you think you have the right to say that to me? You’re such a hypocrite! You don’t get to scold me for running away when that’s all you’ve done since you got here! You’re the real coward, Vanitas!”

Her words slammed into him, but he had no words of his own to argue against it. Her face glowed with anger once more as she stared him down. That would have been bad enough. But then he saw the tears she was holding back and something in him sunk. Whatever vestige of his old self that emerged was long gone.

I… ruined something again, didn’t I?

She let out a yell of frustration. Her head collapsed into her hand.

“I can’t believe this,” she muttered. “I can’t believe I…”

Before he could say anything else, she straightened up and wiped at her face. The anger came away with it. Her expression was cold.

“Guess I have been stupid.”

That’s all she said before pushing past him and storming from the room.  

Vanitas could only watch as she left. He could barely even move after what happened, much less stop her.

Stop her? For what? Just to get humiliated some more?

When the door slammed shut behind him, that was when everything began to crash over him. It was all too much. He just wanted this to be a bad dream.

But then he recalled the pain on her face. The pain he caused. She had been smiling not minutes ago and he ruined it.

He fell to his knees.

What had he done?

Chapter Text

“What did you do?”

Vanitas should have expected that Ventus would come after him at some point. Even if he was as far as he could be from the castle without leaving the grounds, there really was nowhere he could hide. He did manage to get a short while to himself though, just sitting under a random tree along the cliff. While the quiet was nice in some ways, it did nothing to silence his turmoil.

Nothing could. Not when things had gotten this bad.

“Vanitas!”

He pulled his head up to glare at his other. It seemed ignoring him was pointless too. He did what he could to keep his glare steady, but he was certain his other saw right through him. Just like always. Ventus even looked angry for once. There was no telling what he knew already, but it didn’t mean anything good for Vanitas.

“Leave me alone.”

He may as well try. Who knows, he might even get lucky for once. But Ventus didn’t like that. All he did was narrow his eyes and Vanitas could tell he was rapidly losing his patience.

“Enough,” Ventus spoke. “Tell me what you did. I haven’t seen Aqua look this upset in a long time.”

Vanitas flinched at her name.

Upset? Why, because he called her out for the ridiculous things she was telling him? If anyone had the right to be upset, it was him.

“What did you say to her?” Ventus demanded. He just wouldn’t let up. “I know you’re sitting out here miserable for a reason. So, what happened?”

There was no way he would ever tell him. He would probably figure it out himself before long anyway.

And it’s not like Vanitas even understood what happened himself. It was the first time he and Aqua had spoken in weeks and it had gone so horribly that he didn’t even know how to process it.

The things she said, that couldn’t be what she really meant. Or if it somehow was, he had to wonder how she managed to delude herself so much. Maybe he really had been growing too soft.

“I’m not gonna let you stay quiet on this, Vanitas,” Ventus went on. “You hurt her, didn’t you? Is that why you feel like garbage right now?”

Vanitas shut his eyes and clenched his teeth. It was all he could do to stop himself from snapping. That would not go well for him. Ventus would easily be able to fend him off in this state.

“So what? Did you tell her? And it didn’t go well, right?”

He wouldn’t stop talking.

“Shut up.”

Those words were all Vanitas would give as a warning. That idiot would try and drag this out forever if he let him.

“Look, I do get it,” Ventus spoke again. “I’m not saying it was right of her to avoid you for so long. But you can’t just blow up at people when you don’t get your way. I know whatever she told you, it wasn’t worth all this…”

Vanitas barely noticed when Ventus trailed off. He only started getting anxious when he realised the idiot had gone silent for a while. When he pulled his eyes open to look at his other, he caught him staring at him, completely frozen in place. Vanitas could almost see the gears turning in his head, and it took far too long for him to realise why.

He jumped upwards, heat flooding his face. He had to leave now.

“Wait just a minute!” Ventus yelled out. He caught onto his arm before he could get too far, and Vanitas tugged it away on instinct. But it was too late. Ventus had already moved in front of him, blocking off the escape route. All he could do now was turn his head away, anything to avoid his gaze.

“What did she say to you?”

Vanitas grimaced. He tried not to think about it, but it was futile. That memory was far too fresh and painful to ever go away entirely.

Ventus took a step back. It still wasn’t enough for Vanitas to push through without resistance, but he should have felt some relief from him not being so close. Only he was dreading whatever would happen next.

“Are you joking?”

The disbelief in his voice was so potent that Vanitas snapped up to glare at him. He had expected his other to look smug or even disturbed.

He hadn’t expected him to look so bewildered.

“So, hang on,” Ventus began. He started to rub at his temples. “Did she actually reject you? Because if she did, I don’t think you’d be feeling this conflicted.”

Vanitas tore his eyes away as soon as he could. He fought down the panic welling within him. What could he do? That idiot was catching onto things a lot sooner than he hoped.

But he needed to shut up. Now.

“Mind your own business!” he snarled at him.

That didn’t help. He could still see those gears turning in his head. It really would not be long until he figured out what was going on.

He just didn’t realise how soon it would be. Ventus stared at him, his eyes open wide.

“Are you kidding me right now?” he asked again. “Did she actually return your-”

“Would you shut up already! That’s not what happened!”

“Yes, it is!” Ventus shouted. “You’re lying to me right now!”

Vanitas slowly shook his head. He just wouldn’t stop. How could he get him to stop?

“No. No…” He got the words out. “That isn’t what happened.”

He needed Ventus to be quiet. But no matter what he did, he still wasn’t taking the hint.

Then he let out a laugh, as if to rub it in.

“You’re doing it again!” Ventus pointed out. His hand went to his forehead, like he thought it would help him to process whatever he was thinking. “Look, could you try explaining this to me, because I actually wanna cry right now.”

Vanitas narrowed his eyes. “That’s not my problem. Why don’t you stop being nosey for once?”

“But you know, that explains so much,” he went on, completely ignoring him. “If she has feeling for you too, then-”

Before he could get another word out, Vanitas grabbed at his shirt and yanked him closer. He glared at him directly in the eye, hoping that Ventus would sense at least some of his contempt right now.

“She. Doesn’t.”

He practically spat the words out at him. There had to be some way he’d get the message. Ventus may think he knew him, but he had no way of knowing what Aqua felt and he shouldn’t pretend like he did.

Even so, he stared at Vanitas for the longest time, not even trying to break free from his grip. In times like this, he almost wished he could go back to sensing what Ventus felt, just so he would have an idea of what was to come. Then maybe he would have sensed that frustration before it arrived. Ventus let out a groan.

“I can’t believe this,” Ventus muttered. “You have got to be the stupidest, most self-sabotaging idiot I’ve ever met in my life! Do you even know how much of a dumbass you’re being right now?”

Vanitas was so taken aback that his grip loosened. That was enough for Ventus to pull away. Even though he did, the idiot was still glaring at him and looked like he had more to say. Vanitas let out a snarl before he could try.

“Don’t you-”

“What is the problem?” Ventus yelled out, cutting him off. “Do you really hate yourself that much?”

His words resounded in his head. Just those few words froze him completely. He should be used to this. He should be used to Ventus knowing exactly what to say that would affect him the most.

And he couldn’t even deny it.

He really hated this.

“It’s not about that!” Vanitas yelled back. His body started to shake from his growing anger. “She’s… wrong! She doesn’t know what she’s talking about!”

“That’s quite a high opinion of the girl you’re in love with!”

“Shut up!”

He could kill him right now. He wanted to. He could shove him over the edge, but he knew that wouldn’t be nearly enough. If they got into a real fight now, he would likely not be the victor. And Ventus knew that, which must be why he thought he could get away with saying all this.

And he still wouldn’t stop.

“Do seriously think she has no idea what her own feelings are?” Ventus asked. “What, do you think you’ve tricked her somehow? I told you, she’s way too smart for that!”

“There’s no other way to explain it!” Vanitas yelled back. “I don’t know, she told me I remind her of one of the characters in her favourite book, maybe it’s because of that!”

Ventus stared at him again, and that bewildered expression was back. Even Vanitas began to realise what he said was dumb, just as Ventus burst into laughter. That sound only agitated him further. Vanitas narrowed his eyes.

“I swear, if you don’t shut up right now-”

“Come on, you don’t really think that, do you?” he asked. “She isn’t the type to get caught up in a fantasy world like that. If she has feelings for you, then it’s because of you. That’s it.”

Those words sounded so wrong. And that idiot still wasn’t getting it. He shouldn’t pretend to know her.

“You sure are assuming a whole lot!” Vanitas told him. “You know, I never actually told you what she said!”

“What? Are you going back on that now?” Ventus just looked perplexed now. “You literally just tried to rationalise it to me. I’m not gonna pretend I know what she said, but you sure did take it a certain way.”

Vanitas jolted. No matter what he did, he would just see right through him. But that wasn’t the real problem right now. He could deny things all he wanted, but that was just ignoring the main issue.

The problem was that it was idiotic they were even having this conversation in the first place. They were arguing over something so ridiculous. It didn’t matter whether Ventus was right, or where the idea came from or anything like that. This entire thing was wrong.

Because she couldn’t have feelings for him. It made no sense. Knowing what he was, the kind of creature he was, the only explanation was that she tricked herself into thinking he was human. But he had no idea where that would even come from. Sure, he looked human, but there was a lot more to humanity than appearances.

Once you pulled back that façade, there was only a deep pool of darkness underneath. Arguing otherwise was just ignorance.

“Listen,” Ventus spoke up again. He wouldn’t give it up. “I know you won’t take my advice, but you really should try talking to her again.”

“Not happening.”

It couldn’t. Talking is what caused this problem in the first place.

“Still, I think you should,” he continued. “At least to apologise for hurting her.”

He scoffed. It was all he could do. “That was her own fault.”

“You should still apologise. It might help clear things up.”

Vanitas felt something in him shrivel when he thought about apologising. For what? Telling the truth? She had no right to mess with his feelings so much after what she did.

That was the worst part. It was like she was mocking him.

At least he got a bit of relief now. Ventus finally got the hint and left not long after. He should know that trying to talk to him was pointless.

But talking to her would be even more meaningless. It seemed like something went wrong every time they tried it. Even if things started off okay, great even, they would often spiral into something horrific.

It seemed like she knew that too. Which is why she was doing everything she could to prevent that from happening.

If he thought her avoiding him before was bad, now it was on a whole other level. It had only been a few days and he was already seeing the effects. The morning after, she didn’t even bother with the greetings and immediately left the room when he came down to breakfast. He didn’t even know why he tried at all, but at least he could use this as an excuse to avoid everyone altogether. Especially her. That rift between them was growing even bigger.

And he had never felt more miserable in his life.

That was saying a lot, considering everything he had to deal with since coming into existence. At least under Xehanort, he always had a goal he was working towards. Something to keep him going, even if it was just to ultimately become free of him. But now, he didn’t know what to do. There was no future he could picture for himself anymore.

He wanted to scream. He wanted to cry. Part of him was glad he couldn’t summon the Unversed anymore, otherwise he was sure the castle would be full of them at this point.

That was the real issue, wasn’t it? Even after all this time, he had barely gotten any of his strength back. He knew his victory against Aqua in their last training session was a fluke, no matter what she said. He still grew tired easily. He still couldn’t summon corridors or the Unversed. There were even times where he felt a strong enough blow would just snap him out of existence. He felt lucky to even have his Keyblade.

He was a weak, pitiful piece of darkness, and that is why Aqua could never have feelings for him.

It was just a matter of convincing her. Reminding her what he is. If only he could bring himself to show her.

He returned to his room after that talk with Ventus and planned to spend the rest of the night there, laying on his bed. There was little reason to interact with the others now. For meals, all he would have to do was sneak into the kitchen after everyone had gone to bed. He had gone far longer without food after all.

He didn’t even bother going to training now. That was the worst part of all this in a way, but he was sure Aqua would appreciate not having to see him. Maybe it would give her a chance to think over things clearly again.

That’s what he thought. But then he started to feel her presence coming down the hallway. His body tensed on instinct. Even now, he was still so alert to where she was. Dinner should have finished not long ago, so she was probably heading to her room.

Except she wasn’t. She was outside his door again.

He sat up and glared at her through the wood. Was she really going to do this again? He wasn’t in any mood to talk to her, but he hated the idea of her being a coward again even more. Without thinking, he charged for the door and yanked it open, not even leaving her time to get away.

Aqua stood on the other side gaping at him, holding a hand up like she was ready to knock. His eyes flicked up to it.

“Were you actually gonna knock or were you just gonna run away again.”

Her hand dropped at his question, and a faint scowl crossed her face. But it quickly faded, replaced by a stony expression. A mask to hide whatever sorrow or anger swirled around inside her. He eyed her. The circles under her eyes had gotten worse. She couldn’t be losing sleep over something this stupid, but he wasn’t exactly one to talk.

“I needed to talk to you,” she spoke, keeping her voice steady. “I’m here to inform you that Master Riku will be arriving tomorrow.”

The dread growing within him deflated a little. He blinked at her. Was that really it?

“So what?”

Her eyes narrowed at him. “He’ll want to meet you. I’m just letting you know beforehand.”

He knew Riku was one of those friends of hers. And that he was close to Sora.

“Why?” he scoffed. “So he can remind me that I don’t even have my own face? No thanks.”

“Van.” Her voice was firm. “He wants to see how your training is going. That’s all.”

When she went quiet after that, part of him expected her to leave. That’s the logical thing to do if she was just here to make that announcement. But she didn’t. She didn’t even make any moves towards the hallway. There was no telling how long that would be for.

“Is that really all you’re here to talk about?” he blurted out.

Just like that, the mask she was putting up finally started to crack. Her eyes darted away from his, something he was starting to get used to. He could feel her summoning her resolve.

“You’re right,” she spoke. “We really need to talk. I just don’t know if I’m ready for it yet.”

That was rich. He narrowed his eyes at her. “You’re not ready? What makes you think I even want to talk to you?”

It didn’t escape him that he was the one who opened the door.

“But we need to,” she insisted. “We can’t be at each other’s throats like this. Especially not because of…”

She trailed off again. Of course she did.

“You can’t even say it,” he muttered. “You know why? It’s because you know it’s not true.”

Her eyes snapped back to his. “Don’t tell me what I know.”

“Why not? That’s what everyone does to me. I just had to listen to Ventus try and explain my own feelings to me. I can’t stand it.”

He didn’t even have the energy to be mad anymore. Ventus took up a lot of it. He didn’t even know what he had left to feel. He was just so exhausted.

Aqua was still standing there in front of him. She hadn’t said anything yet, and it was obvious she was deep in thought. That’s how she was; always so careful. He almost wanted her to just give in to the first thought that came to her head, but he knew it would not go well.

As he watched her, he saw her take a deep breath. Her eyes caught his as she looked at him again, with a new determination.

“Can I come in?” she asked. “We need to talk, and I don’t want to do it in the hallway.”

“No.”

She scowled at him. “Van, we can’t avoid this anymore. This… it’s been affecting you for so long, hasn’t it? You’ve even started avoiding your training.”

He hated how she was putting it, but he couldn’t really argue.

“So what?”

“I thought you wanted to get stronger,” she said. “How are you going to do that if you keep pushing me away?”

She had a point. The desire to get stronger was the only thing that remained consistent the entire time he was there. He knew that right now, his only options were making up with her, or finding somewhere else to train entirely. And despite everything, he still hated that idea.

Because he would have to leave. He would have to be away from her. His heart still screamed at the thought.

There really was no getting out of this, was there?

“Fine,” he got out. “But I hope you’re not expecting much.”

Her face softened the very moment he let up. Just like that, his heart thudded and began making a nuisance of itself again. He had to look away from her before it would try to take over again.

“Thank you,” she told him. That relief in her voice did not help.

Without another word, he stepped into his room, allowing her to enter behind him. He crossed over to the other side of the room, only stopping once he hit the window along the far wall. Aqua seemed to be keeping her distance, deciding to take a seat on his bed. He had to look away as she settled there, knowing what his mind would do to him if he saw her there of all places.

When would this end? When would his heart stop torturing him?

“Okay.” She took a breath. “I’ll admit, I don’t really know where to start.”

He crossed his arms. “Really? You barge in here and you don’t even know what you wanna say?”

“I know what I wanna say,” she told him. “I just don’t know how to do it without you calling me a liar.”

Vanitas turned his head further away from her. His face reflected back at him in the window. He couldn’t risk letting her see any shift in expression.

“Maybe you wouldn’t have that problem if you started telling me what you really think.”

“I’ve been trying,” she said. “But you seem so determined not to believe me. It’s like you’ve already decided what I feel.”

Disgust curled up within him. That’s what Ventus did. She couldn’t really think he was doing the same.

“I didn’t decide anything. I’m just trying to be the rational one.”

“Okay, this is getting nowhere,” she got out. “I’m just gonna start, and I want you to listen.”

That firmness in her voice left no room to argue. He knew he should say something regardless, but he found himself just waiting. It didn’t take long for her words to emerge.

“I know things haven’t been that great between us lately,” she began. “But even after everything, I still want to think of you as a friend.”

“Don’t-”

“Let me finish,” she spoke. “I know you don’t want to hear this, but I really have grown to appreciate you. There were times where you were there when I really needed someone, and you have no idea how much that meant to me.”

She must have been talking about that night he found her crying. Had he known what sort of mess it would create at the time, he would have just kept walking past her door.

At least that’s what he wanted to think. But he knew nothing would have made him turn away. He was too far gone even then. Even if he didn’t realise it.

“I think that’s when it started,” she continued. “I realised that despite our history and your rough exterior, you actually care. You care so much. About me.”

Those last words were barely more than a murmur, but he still heard them.

His throat grew dry. Even if he wanted to respond, he couldn’t.

“I was confused at first,” she spoke. “I still am. I was happy that you seemed to be coming around to training here, but I wasn’t really sure about the reason. You were still so vocal about hating everything. But then we spent all that time alone together and it all started to make sense.”

So, she really had known longer than he did.

He caught a glimpse of his reddening face in the window. Not able to stand the sight, he turned away, but that just made Aqua appear in the corner of his vision. He knew she was staring at him; she must be. This whole thing was humiliating.

“I should have just talked to you about it,” she went on. “That would have been the responsible thing to do. But the thought of it terrified me. I didn’t even want to think about why, but then it just became too overwhelming to ignore.”

She went quiet after that. He thought she must have been planning her next words. It didn’t matter what they were; there was no point to any of this. But just as he started to work up the courage to tell her to leave, she stood from the bed. The motion was so sudden it drew his eyes to her without his input.

“Why won’t you believe me,” she began. “When I say I might have feelings for you too?”

His eyes snapped wide open as her words came to him. There was no ignoring her, not when she stared back at him, her blush obvious even in the dark of the room.

She said it. She actually said it. The unthinkable.

He wasn’t stupid. He knew that’s what she had been implying all along, but that didn’t make it true. This all just meant she really had convinced herself of something ridiculous and it was his job to correct her.

But he still had no idea how to respond. His throat was so dry it was a struggle to even breathe. Even so, he managed to force some words out.

“…You can’t.”

Something in her deflated when he said that, but she wasn’t going to give up. Her stubbornness would just come into play.

Sure enough, he saw her fist clench, readying her to go on the defensive.

“Tell me why I can’t,” she got out. “Are you worried because I’m supposed to be training you?”

Is that what she thought? His eyes narrowed.

“That’s not it. You know that doesn’t matter.”

She turned her gaze down, pulling her hands together in the process. “It matters a little. It’s one of the reasons I’ve been feeling so guilty over this.”

He scoffed. “We’ve been over this. You don’t even act like a Master. Not your fault you’re the only one here who managed to pass the exam.”

“Okay,” she blurted out, snapping her head back up to him again. “So that’s not the reason. What is? If it’s because of your past, that wasn’t your fault and you know it.”

This again. He was starting to get irritated.

“I know what I did,” he told her. “Don’t downplay it. Don’t forget I tried to kill you.”

“And now you have feelings for me, right?” she shot back. “Isn’t that proof enough that things change?”

He recoiled from her words, only to remember he was standing against a wall. How could she even say that with such certainty?

“How are you so sure-”

“Are you going to deny it?” she asked him, cutting him off. “Listen, I know. I’ve seen how you look at me. I know how much you like spending time with me. Van, you read my favourite book for almost no reason at all.”

She got him. He didn’t even know if he could keep denying it at this point, it’d just be insulting her intelligence.

“Fine!” he shouted. “So what? What does any of that matter? That isn’t the problem!”

“So what is?” she shouted back. Of course, they were back to arguing again. “You’re not making any sense! I know you like me, and I think I…” she stopped for a moment and shook her head. “No, I know I’ve started feeling something for you too. Why won’t you believe me?”

This really was going nowhere. He clenched his teeth.

“It’s not that I don’t believe you,” he got out. “I just think you’re wrong.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Do you think I’m making it up?”

“No,” he groaned. “I think it’s just like you said. You saw me doing all that dumb stuff and then you felt bad for me or something. I don’t know!”

“You think you guilted me into it?” She stared at him, bewildered. “Van, if I really felt nothing like that for you, then I would have talked this through with you a lot sooner. I told you, I was scared because of my own feelings.”

“But that’s the only explanation!”

“No, it isn’t! Dammit, do I need to tell you about all those times I couldn’t sleep because I kept thinking about something you said? Sometimes I couldn’t even think straight when you were around me. Are you really gonna tell me that it means nothing?”

There was nothing he could do to stop his face heating up.

“You…what?”

Aqua let out a groan and covered her face.

“This is so embarrassing,” she muttered. “I hope you know that.”

What could he even say? All he knew was this was a lot worse than he thought. He shouldn’t even talk to her right now, but his mouth had a mind of its own.

“What exactly did I say,” he began. “That kept you up like that?”

She let out another groan. He caught her peering at him through her fingers. “I can’t believe you’re asking me that. It was a lot of things. Mostly any time you said something nice to me.”

He blinked at her. “That’s it? That can’t be.”

“You might be right.” She sighed and pulled her hands away. “I also keep thinking about the way you look at me. All the times you don’t think I notice, but I do.” Her hand rose up to cup her cheek, as if to meet the blush forming there. “You’re always so intense, but then I’ll catch you staring at me like…”

Her eyes flicked to him again, and he had never felt so put on the spot.

He swallowed. “Like what?”

That beautiful mouth of her parted slightly, and the sight made him suck in a breath.

“Like that.”

His heart thudded in his chest at the sound of her voice. He heard that longing, even if he couldn’t believe it. More than anything, he wanted to cross the space between them, pull her into his arms, and finally give in to what his heart had been telling him to do for ages. Even now his arm twitched, like it was moments away from doing just that.

To make things worse, it seemed like she wouldn’t resist at all. That was not helping him stay resolved.

But he had to. He couldn’t drag her down to his level.

“Van,” he heard her call out. “I know you’re still fighting yourself over this. It’s okay.”

It wasn’t fighting. Someone just had to stay grounded.

“Just… why me?”

The question emerged on its own. It got her to freeze in her tracks. But he needed to know.

“Why me?” he repeated. “What makes me so special? Do you really think I’m the only person who’s ever looked at you like that?”

She blushed again. He hadn’t meant to make his voice so low, and he could see now how it affected her. Maybe he should be more careful.

“Well,” she began. “You’re the only person I’ve noticed.”

He could have laughed. He gazed at her, like he was challenging her. “I don’t believe that.”

“It’s true. But… I know what you mean.” She fiddled with her hands again. “You’re right, I have had people, um, express interest. But when you look at me, something just feels different.”

He tried to fight down a wave of possessiveness when she said that. It was basically a given that other people would notice how amazing she was. And besides, it wasn’t what was important right now.

“Different how?”

She turned away from him. “I… can’t describe it. There’s this… warm feeling I get whenever I see you looking at me. There were times I really did think I was going crazy, but then I realised there was nothing wrong with what it made me feel.”

Every word she said was dangerous. The more she went on, the more he wanted to hear. The more his resolve crumbled.

He knew that feeling she was talking about. He knew it all too well. That’s why this needed to stop before it got out of hand.

“Of course there’s something wrong,” he got out. “I told you. You shouldn’t… not me.”

She shook her head. It was like she wasn’t listening.

“No. You still haven’t told me why.”

Her stubbornness was really something else. Now, he just glared at her.

“You wanna know so badly? Fine. I’ll spell it out for you.” He pointed to himself. “I’m not human. I am the literal personification of your friend’s darkness. What I feel is irrelevant. It’s just insanity that you’d ever look at me in any way other than disgust. Even being friends was too much, but this? You’re just kidding yourself.”

She stared back at him. That silenced her. Finally. Maybe she would start to get it.

“I don’t believe that.”

Seriously?

“Are you kidding?” Vanitas wanted to laugh. “What part of that is so unbelievable?”

“That you’re not human. I don’t believe that at all.”

It was amazing how far gone she was. Vanitas could only roll his eyes.

“Then you really are deluding yourself.”

“Would you just listen?” she snapped at him. “Since you’ve gotten here, all you’ve done is prove just how human you really are.”

“None of that is real. That’s just a façade.”

“No, it isn’t!” She took a step forward. “This isn’t something you can fake. You wanna know how I know? Only a human could grow feelings for someone.”

He watched her, already feeling his words failing him. She had gotten closer too. Was there even any way to respond?

“You wanna know another reason?” she continued. She took another step. “You’ve spent this entire time holding back, and I know it was for my sake. Do you really think a creature of pure darkness would care about something like that?”

The way she gazed at him made him feel more vulnerable than he had ever been. With that one look, she had pulled him apart before carefully piecing him back together. It was terrifying how much of him she saw.

His head fell to his hands, his fingers gripping at his hair. He couldn’t look at her. There was no telling what else she would do.

But that was a mistake. He heard her moving first, but there was no time to react before she pulled herself in front of him. Her hand gripped at his wrist, and that was when he finally looked up at her.

There she was. Her eyes shone at him, even through the darkness of the room. It was like he was finally letting himself see her for the first time. He had already known how beautiful she was, but nothing could compare to this moment. Her very presence was warmth and light, and he could have basked in it forever.

When she tugged at his arm, he was helpless against it. When she pulled his hand up to her cheek and let it rest there, his heart could have stopped. He watched her as she pushed her face into his palm, her eyes fluttering closed. Her skin was as soft and warm as he expected, and he didn’t know if he could ever let go.

He sucked in a breath. This was too much. If she didn’t stop now, then…

Almost as if to taunt him, her eyes picked that moment to open. They locked with his, too beautiful to look away from.

“Van…” she breathed his name. “It’s okay.”

She was so close. He could feel the warmth radiating off her, could almost feel her breath. His eyes were drawn down to her lips for a split second, but they quickly darted back up. He saw her expression shift, making him wonder if she noticed that lapse of control.

If she did, she didn’t seem to be taking it badly. In fact, he caught her own eyes dip down for just a moment.

The lump in his throat grew huge. He tried to swallow it, but it didn’t help at all. His throat still felt so dry. And in that time, she had somehow gotten closer. His mind was on the verge of shutting down from her proximity, and for once he was willing to let it.

He pulled himself closer, finally ready to give into himself.

“Aqua! Are you up here?”

A shout from the hallway ran through them louder than a bell. The two of them leapt apart from each other at the sound. Vanitas bent over himself, trying to catch his breath. He could hear his heart beating in his ear.

He could also feel the now empty space now next to him.

What… was that?

“Terra…” he heard Aqua say from a short distance away. He pulled his head up to look at her. She was almost collapsed against the wall, and she too looked to be catching her breath. Something in him bloomed when he saw how flustered she was.

But when the moment passed, irritation began to rise within him. Of course one of them had to interrupt. Could he ever catch a break from those idiots?

“I’d… better go see what he wants,” she said. She was already moving towards the door, like she couldn’t get away fast enough. He caught the look on her face as she walked past him. She was still red in the face, and if Terra saw her like that, who knows what sort of things he’d assume.

Especially since she would be coming out of his room.

“Wait-”

“It’s okay!” She spun around to face him, waving her hands around. She was still moving backwards towards the door. “I really need to get ready for tomorrow anyway, and this was supposed to just be a short discussion.”

Now he got it. She was trying to run again. After doing something like that. The thought annoyed him so much that he completely forgot about Terra and did something stupid.

Before she could even reach the door, he dashed over to her and grabbed her arm, stopping her in her tracks. When she turned her head to him in surprise, that’s when he finally did it.

He tugged her towards him and pushed their lips together.

All of a sudden, it felt like a weight was lifted from his shoulders. As he pulled her closer to him, his entire body felt light. For just a moment, he didn’t have to think about anything. All that mattered was how warm she was, how amazing she felt in his arms. How perfectly her lips fit against his.

But the moment couldn’t last forever. His mind finally pushed through the haze and he forced himself to pull away, just as he felt her start to soften into the kiss.

He opened his eyes as he moved back, not even realising they were shut. He saw her standing in front of him frozen in place, her face more flushed than it had ever been before. When he forced himself to let go of her wrist, her hand flew to her mouth.

“Van…” she got out. “You…”

“You were running again,” he told her. “Did you really think I’d let you get away after that?”

For once, she looked as if she was at a complete loss for words. He heard her take in a shuddering breath, like it was the first one she had taken for a while. Her hand left her mouth, and it took everything he had not to pull her towards him again when he saw those red lips.

“I would have…” she began. Her eyes were flicking away from him and she sounded completely breathless. “I would have continued, believe me. But I really need to go.”

Continue? He did wonder how far she was thinking. She likely meant she would have closed that distance earlier, but he couldn’t help but wonder how far that would go if they remained uninterrupted.

Actually, it was all he could think about now. His brain had fogged over, and he was milliseconds away from trying to test that limit.

“Van,” she said again, like she sensed what he felt. She grabbed at his hand, holding it in her own. “We can talk about this later, I promise.”

Almost as if to placate him, she reached up and planted a kiss along his forehead. But before he even had time to react to that, she had already pulled away and was heading for the door. She gave him one last look before pulling it shut behind her.

As soon as that shutting sound ran through his ears, it was like all his senses came back at once. His legs wobbled and sure enough, he soon found himself crouched on the ground. Memories of whatever just happened slammed into him.

Did… did he just kiss her?

His own hand flew to his mouth. He could still feel her warmth there, could still taste her. It was the only way he knew he hadn’t just dreamt it up.

And her face. There was no disgust at all. It was something she wanted. With him.

He still couldn’t believe it, but whenever those doubts crept in, he remembered how she gazed at him. He shuddered just thinking about it.

She looked at him like there was no one else in all the worlds. No one had ever looked at him that way before, not even close. As unbelievable as it was, for just that moment, he could pretend he was a normal human worthy of something like that.

But then she had to run off. Of course she did. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to stop himself from killing Terra the next time he saw him. Even when he finally gave in to himself, something had to get in the way.

All he knew was he wouldn’t let that happen again. The next time he was alone with her, he would finish what they started. Even if it was just to chase that moment again. That moment where he didn’t have to be anything. That moment where he felt wanted.

It wouldn’t last forever though. One day she would come to her senses and realise just how despicable he is. Then she would destroy him like she should have long ago.

But for now, maybe he could live in this fantasy. After everything, it would be nice to give himself some sort of respite and pretend things were okay. Then he wouldn’t have to think for a while. Thinking had become so exhausting. Maybe this was giving up, but Aqua had almost entirely worn down his defences. What was the point of fighting anymore?

He didn’t sleep at all that night. How could he? Part of him hoped she would come back at some point, but he knew that was too much to wish for. She had way more self-control than he did after all. But it wouldn’t stop him from wondering.

When he opened his eyes the next morning, despite the lack of sleep, he realised his mood wasn’t as sullen as usual. If anything, he felt eager to leave his room. Eager to see her again.

Even though he decided to show up for breakfast today, he wondered if he would be able to talk to her without letting something slip. It wouldn’t be a problem if they were alone, but if her friends were there, they might be able to tell something happened. He was already dreading whatever Ventus would have to say.

Like every time he showed up for a meal lately, the room went silent the moment he appeared. He spotted Aqua immediately as she sat in her usual seat, and he caught the blush spreading across her face as they locked eyes. It was yet another confirmation that all of that really happened.

But she wasn’t the only one in the room. Terra sat a little further up from Aqua, and Vanitas noticed the way his eyes flitted between the two of them.

Just then, he had a horrifying realisation. Terra would have definitely seen how flustered she was last night, especially after what he did. All he could do was hope he wouldn’t say anything.

As he tried to calm down, he felt a presence come up behind him. When he felt a tap on his shoulder, he turned to see Ventus stroll up to him, grinning brighter than he had seen in a while.

“Have a good night?”

He could have smacked the idiot. He saw Aqua trying to hide her face by taking a sip from her mug.

“Buzz off,” Vanitas muttered before shaking him off. It was the most polite thing he could muster at the moment.

It was only when he got to his seat and caught Aqua peering at him from across the table that he realised he wasn’t as upset as he would usually be.

Was something like that really all it took to improve his mood?

Even now, he still felt lighter than usual. Like some of his burdens had been lifted. In a way, it scared him. He really shouldn’t be getting used to this sort of feeling, but it was dangerously addictive.

Maybe all these beings of light had been onto something this whole time.

Aqua was still peering at him as she ate. She really was adorable.

“Morning,” he murmured to her. Those gorgeous eyes of hers widened a fraction, followed by her mouth moving into a warm smile.

“Good morning,” she spoke back. The affection in her voice slammed into him, completely knocking him off guard. He wasn’t ready for it.

Someone cleared their throat, and Vanitas turned his attention to the table, suddenly very interested in his breakfast.

“Riku should be coming soon,” he heard Terra say. Hearing his voice was like getting rudely awaken from a dream. It reminded him that the others were still there. “We should finish up here and get ready for him.”

Vanitas had to stop himself groaning. What else was there to do? It’s not like he was royalty, what was all the fuss about?

“I think everything is mostly in order,” said Aqua. “All that’s left is to greet him.”

“It’ll be great to see him again,” Ventus spoke up from his seat. “We barely even got a chance to talk when we ran into him at Radiant Garden.”

Meanwhile Vanitas couldn’t really care less about him. He would even avoid him if he could, but he didn’t think Aqua would like that. Hadn’t that been what she came to talk to him about last night?

Last night. Just like that, the memory filled his mind again. He groaned, bringing his hands up to his face. No, he could not think about that now.

And now he felt Ventus staring at him. He just knew he was grinning too.

That’s it, he couldn’t take it anymore. He grabbed his bowl and began to shovel down his breakfast. The faster he did that, the faster he could leave. When his bowl was clear, he stood from the table. Aqua glanced up at him in confusion.

“Let me know when he’s here,” Vanitas spoke before Aqua got the chance. “I promise I’ll show up.”

With that, he started heading for the door. He heard a chair move behind him.

“Wait!” Aqua called out. He turned just to give her a quick look, but he was too aware of everyone else staring at them. All he could do was keep heading out.

Like he expected, Aqua soon followed. He slowed down his step, just as she took the time to shut the door behind them. When it was closed, she looked up at him with that smile. He swallowed.

“I mean it,” she whispered to him. “We’ll talk again after Riku’s gone. I promise.”

His eyes widened as he caught onto the implication of her words. Did she actually want to talk, or did she just want to finish what they started?

“Yeah sure,” he muttered. “You know where to find me.”

Aqua beamed at his response, but that was all she did before heading back inside. That was how Vanitas found himself impatient for Riku’s arrival. He didn’t really care about meeting the guy, it was just that the sooner he arrived, the sooner he would leave.

And when he did, he would definitely make sure Aqua kept that promise.

He waited in his room for the arrival, knowing he would at least need some time away from the others to collect himself. It was about mid-morning when he finally heard a sound outside. He looked out his window in time to see one of those Gummi ships park itself on the edge of the courtyard. Vanitas hadn’t seen many of these things, but he still thought they were one of the dumbest looking things he could imagine. Why anyone would take this thing over corridors or even Keyblade Gliders was beyond him.

A knock at his door forced his attention away from the window. He didn’t even need to open it to know it was Aqua there, waiting for him. His heart hammered in his chest from her presence, but he knew there would be no time for them to talk now.

“Van?” she called out. “Are you in there? Riku’s here. It’s time to say hi.”

He rushed over to the door to pull it open. Seeing her standing outside his room again was making it hard to remember what he was supposed to be doing now.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m here,” he said, using all his willpower to step past her. “Gimme a chance to get to the door next time.”

Despite the distance he tried to put between them, she ran to catch up with him. Now they walked side by side, and it was already getting to him.

“I mean,” she spoke. “You could have said something.”

He scoffed at her. “So impatient. Maybe I should have kept you waiting longer.”

Pink dusted her cheeks. He had barely picked up on it when she turned her head away and cleared her throat. That reaction made something warm buzz inside him. He didn’t even think he said anything that would deserve it.

Her arm brushed against him as they walked. It was already hard enough not to touch her, and now he felt he was seconds away from grabbing hold of her. Even if it was just her hand, he badly needed to feel her beneath his fingers. But they were supposed to be meeting someone, and it’d be great if at least one person didn’t figure out what was going on with them. He was sure it was already a lost cause with Terra and Ventus.

He just needed to get this over with.

The two of them made their way through the main hall and downstairs to the courtyard. When they opened the door, he spotted Terra and Ventus already outside, talking to the new arrival. Vanitas stayed by the stairs as Aqua ran forward, just so he wouldn’t immediately grab their notice. He watched as each of them turned towards her, but she was the first to speak.

“Riku!” she began. “It’s so good to see you! How have you been holding up?”

The person in question shrugged before answering her.

“Well, things could be better I guess,” he said. “At least I’ve had a lot to keep me busy.”

“Sure, but you can’t forget to take a break once in a while,” spoke up Terra, who patted him on the shoulder. “You’re always welcome here anytime, you know.”

Riku playfully shook him away. “Yeah, I’d been meaning to visit sooner, but things have been all over the place lately.”

“Well, it’s good you’re here now,” said Ventus. “It’ll be great to catch up.”

Even though he was smiling with all his friends, Riku’s attention inevitably turned to the stairs. Vanitas caught the way his eyes widened, that brief flash of sadness on his face.

All a reminder that his face was not his own.

“Hello,” said Riku, stepping towards him. “You must be Vanitas. I don’t think we’ve had a chance to officially meet.”

Something in Vanitas soured from the way he was staring at him. Not like he could help it.

He grunted. “So what? Did I live up to your expectations?”

To his shock, Riku looked like he was holding back a laugh.

“Don’t know,” he said, still smiling. “I’ve only just got here, remember?”

“Hey, why don’t we spend some time catching up?” Aqua spoke up. It wasn’t long before she appeared beside them. “I’m sure Van could use someone else to talk to aside from us three.”

He tried not to react at the sudden use of his nickname. But he saw Riku’s eyes widen anyway.

Great. So much for acting cool.

“I guess that couldn’t hurt,” said Riku. “And yeah, I did hope I’d get a chance to talk to him. There aren’t a lot of us who still use darkness after all.”

That’s right. He did remember something about that. When he concentrated on Riku, he could feel that very power within him. After being surrounded by hearts shining with light for so long now, it was almost nostalgic. But he also sensed that darkness was something he had complete control over. It was kind of amazing. That must have been why they made him Master if he could pull off a trick like that.

The group moved back inside, heading for the main hall. Vanitas trailed behind them, hoping he could get out of talking with him more than he had to. But when he noticed Riku slowing down to wait for him, he knew that was pointless.

“Hey, hope you don’t mind,” he began. “But I really did want to talk with you for a bit.”

Vanitas stared at him as they walked. Yeah, Aqua had warned him that he wanted to talk, but if had known he would be this eager, he would have been more reluctant to come.

“What for?” he asked. “I’m not your friend.”

There was another meaning behind those words, and he knew Riku picked up on it. Something in his expression faltered, but he had to give him credit for how quick he was to recover.

“Maybe not,” he admitted. “But I guess I’m still interested in how things are going for you.”

He scoffed. “Why? Trying to make sure I’m not still dangerous?”

“I don’t think you are, otherwise you wouldn’t still be here.”

Riku had a point. The fact he was still there was proof enough that he was getting soft. Proof that he was getting corrupted by light. Yet he didn’t feel as annoyed about it as he used to be. He could only imagine why. So he chuckled.

“Careful, Master Riku,” he spoke. “We wouldn’t want you getting too comfortable.”

“Just call me Riku,” he replied. “I’m not your Master.”

Vanitas rolled his eyes. “No one around here likes their title. I don’t get it.”

“Well, think of it this way,” he began. “I’m not really here as a Keyblade Master, I’m here to visit friends. And I’m sure it’s the same for Aqua. She’s not training students, she’s helping her friends get stronger.”

Vanitas briefly glanced at her as she walked in front of them. He knew she was listening from how she slowed her step.

“I’ve actually already heard a lot about you from her,” Riku continued. “She had a lot of good things to say you know.”

“Riku!” Aqua swivelled around to face them. Vanitas could already see her blushing. “Don’t go telling him something like that!”

Riku seemed surprised by the outburst. Even Ventus and Terra stopped to see what was happening. Normally that would get to him, but Vanitas found himself very curious about what was being said about him. As if on autopilot, he shot a smirk at Aqua before turning back to Riku.

“Well, I sure hope my Master isn’t gossiping about me too much behind my back.”

“I wouldn’t really call it gossip,” said Riku. “It was mostly stuff about how strong you were. I won’t give all the details, but I promise it was mostly praise.”

He hadn’t really expected to hear something like that, and it took him aback.

She said he was strong. When he was the weakest he had ever been.

That should have annoyed him. It was like she was lying about how well he was doing. Lying to herself. Yet, he couldn’t help that feeling of elation welling up within him.

He peered towards Aqua again, noting how she looked as if she wanted to disappear into the ground. She could be so adorable when flustered, but he knew that already. He chuckled.

“If it’s mostly praise then she must not be paying attention.”

Riku snorted. It wasn’t long before he was smirking.

“Somehow I doubt that.”

“Alright, enough!” Aqua spoke up, running over to them. This was all really getting to her. “Come on, there are other things we can talk about, aren’t there?”

“I guess so,” said Riku. “I did have another reason for coming here. It wasn’t just to meet Van.”

Vanitas spun towards him. “Woah, who said you could call me that? It’s Vanitas.”

Riku blinked at him. “Oh, sorry. I heard Aqua calling you that and I just assumed.”

Vanitas opened his mouth but bit his tongue just in time. He had been so close to telling him that only Aqua could call him that.

Because that was true. He only ever wanted to hear that name coming from her lips. It was hers.

“So,” Terra spoke up. “You mentioned you had something you wanted to show us.”

Vanitas turned back to the others. For once, he was grateful to hear from Terra.

Though he still had to pay for last night.

“There’ll be more room in the hall,” said Aqua. “Why don’t we continue up there?”

That worked for Vanitas. The change of scenery would hopefully come with a change of subject.

But he caught Ventus lingering behind as all the others went ahead and all hopes of that happening went out the window. There wasn’t even any real way to avoid him.

“What?” Vanitas got out through his teeth. Ventus only laughed at him as he stepped closer, before leaning in to whisper something.

“You think you guys could stop flirting for a second? We have a guest.”

Vanitas wanted to kill him. He was being way too smug about all this. But he ran ahead to catch up with the others before Vanitas could even reply. Typical.

But is that what they were doing? He knew he shouldn’t be thinking about this now, but that idiot Ventus had to put the thought in his head.

For now, he had to forget it. There would be plenty of time to think about it later.

He emerged from the stairs just as the rest of the group settled in the middle of the hall. He could already see Aqua gazing around for him, and that relief when she saw him approach. Even that was almost too much for him.

“Alright,” Riku spoke up. Vanitas forced his attention to him. “I stopped by Radiant Garden just before coming here and they had something for you. I said I’d take it to you in person.”

With that, Riku pulled a small object out of his pocket. The group circled around it, including Vanitas who was just trying to figure out what he was looking at. It was a small black box, roughly the size of Riku’s palm, with a switch lain within.

“They just finished working on this device. They said it should help you guys a lot.”

While Vanitas was still trying to determine what it was, Aqua stepped forward to take the object from Riku.

“So if we press this switch…” she began.

“Yeah,” said Riku. “That should stop that Heartless in its tracks.”

Vanitas froze, a feeling of dread coming over him. What were they talking about?

“Thank you,” said Aqua before Vanitas could say anything. “With this, we’ll finally be able to be useful again.”

“But…” Riku began. “Are you sure you’re okay with this? It was a pretty close call last time, wasn’t it? And there’s no guarantee he’s there.”

“Even so, we need to check,” she told him. “We have to exhaust all our options if we want to find him.”

Vanitas couldn’t believe what he was hearing. It couldn’t be what it sounded like.

“Aqua,” he called out her name, getting her attention. “What are you talking about? You’re not seriously…”

He trailed off when he saw that look on her face. She wore a smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes. It was the smile she used to mask her sadness. Her turmoil. Then she opened her mouth.

“I think it’s time we resumed our search. In the Realm of Darkness.”

Chapter Text

“Are you kidding me? You’re not seriously going back there, are you?”

His outburst flooded the room. Everyone in there turned to Vanitas when his discontent was made clear. He was sure most of them were some flavour of shocked or annoyed at him, but he didn’t care about any of them.

All he could see was Aqua and the sadness steadily growing on her face.

“Van,” she began. “This isn’t a discussion. It’s something we need to do.”

“You don’t need to do anything,” he said to her.

“Yes, we do,” she spoke back. She was keeping her voice firm. “We can’t just sit around doing nothing while Sora’s still out there.”

As that name reached his ears, all he could do was stare at her in disbelief.

That’s what this was about?

“You still think he’s down there, don’t you?”

Something in her expression shifted as he said that. Something like guilt began to emerge.

Unbelievable. So, that really had been what she thought.

He clenched his fist as he waited for her to answer. She already looked as if she was trying to formulate an excuse. He wasn’t even sure he wanted to hear it.

“Van…”

“Didn’t I tell you over and over again that he wasn’t there?” he got out. “Why won’t you believe me?”

That last bit came out more pitiful than he would have liked. He watched as Aqua shrunk backwards.

“Why?” he repeated. He met her gaze, not willing to let her hide from this. “If I wasn’t lying back then, I’m definitely not lying now.”

Even when he didn’t care about her, he still didn’t want to encourage this sort of wild goose chase. Now, it hurt that she was even still considering it.

“But how do you know for certain?” she asked him back. “Listen. I believe you, but the way things are going, we can’t afford to cross things out if we haven’t checked them thoroughly.”

He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Did she even hear herself? He clenched his fist as he felt his anger start to rise up.

“That’s ridiculous!” he yelled out. “You know more than anyone else how endless that place is! Just how long are you planning to search?”

She didn’t answer. When he watched her turn away from him, he wondered if he crossed a line. He hated having to bring up her time in the dark realm, but someone needed to get through to her.

“Vanitas,” Terra spoke up. He took a step forward, and all it did was invite Vanitas’ glare. “It’s like she said. This isn’t a discussion. We’ve always meant to go back.”

Hearing him say that only made his irritation worse. What did he even mean by that? Vanitas turned back to Aqua, hoping he’d see her deny it somehow. But when he saw her expression hadn’t changed, he knew that was a lost cause.

Then it hit him. All those times she was busy, was she planning this out all along?

“Wait a minute,” he got out. “This is what you've been doing all this time, isn't it?"

She looked up at him and met his eyes. He could see her determination. That unshakable resolve. It was amazing that she could still act like that.

“Of course it was,” she said to him. “We were just waiting for the right time.”

The right time? When was the ‘right time’ to ever go back to that place?

“You know, Vanitas,” Terra butted in. “It’s not like it was a secret. We barely got a chance to look around the last time we were there.”

Vanitas had just about had it with Terra. That idiot had no idea what was going on. He really hoped he felt the poison in his glare.

But enough of him. Vanitas soon pivoted back to Aqua.

“And you’re really okay with that?” he asked her. “You’re fine just going back like it’s nothing?”

“It’s something we need to do,” she repeated. He was sure she was trying to be convincing, but it was hard to buy when she wouldn’t meet his eyes anymore. Like she was afraid to.

“Listen, this isn’t your decision,” Terra spoke up again. “Aqua’s fine with it, and if you have a problem with it, then no one’s making you come.”

Vanitas wanted to laugh, but it was just too sad. There’s no way he was this stupid. Had that moron even looked at her at all during this whole discussion?

“She’s fine with it?” Vanitas muttered back at him. It sounded just as ridiculous coming from his mouth. “You don’t seriously believe that, do you?”

“If she says she’s fine, she’s-”

“You really have no idea, do you?” he shouted at him. “Haven’t you noticed? She spent over a decade there and the nightmares still torment her!”

Something in Terra froze when he said that. Vanitas had finally rendered him speechless, but it only made him angrier. After all the crap about how important their friendship was, how did he not even notice that much?

But there was another possibility he had to consider. Maybe she just hid it too well.

She was just like that. She never wanted people to worry over her.

“Van…” Aqua murmured from somewhere behind him. When he turned to her again, he made sure she wasn’t looking away from his gaze.

“They know, right?” he asked her. “You’ve told them that you can’t even sleep because of that place, right?”

Guilt flashed across her face again, and she tried to hide it by looking away. But it was too late for that. All he could do was stare at her, bewildered.

He couldn’t believe she hadn’t bothered to tell her friends, especially after all this time. Even if the memories were painful enough to bring her to tears, she still didn’t think they deserved to know. And then she would go on and on about how much she thought of them. It was just so ridiculous.

“Aqua…” Ventus’ pitiful voice was the first to emerge. “Is that true? Do you still…”

She shook her head, but it remained pointed firmly at the ground. She couldn’t even look at her friends anymore.

“It’s really not as bad as it sounds,” she insisted. “It’s fine. I can manage it.”

“Would you stop that already?” Now Vanitas was getting annoyed. “Stop trying to make it sound better than it is. That place traumatised you.”

“Enough!” she yelled out, snapping her head back up to face him. “That isn’t for you to say!”

He stared back at her, trying to hide his astonishment.

Why was she yelling? Couldn’t she see he was on her side?

“Then who does get to say it?” he shot back. “Because clearly you aren’t going to! And these idiots obviously hadn’t noticed!”

“Stop calling my friends idiots!” she yelled at him. “I know you don’t like them, but you had better start to! You aren’t the only one who cares about me you know!”

Hearing her say something like that aloud would normally rattle him. But now he was so frustrated that it barely even registered.

“If they really cared about you, they would be just as against this as I am!”

“Of course they care about me! How can you even say that?”

“Guys!”

To everyone’s surprise, Riku was the one who had spoken up. Vanitas spun to him, nearly ready to blow up. He just got here; he was the last person who got a say in this.

“You don’t have to fight over this,” Riku continued. “We can talk about this calmly.”

Vanitas opened his mouth, ready to snarl at him, but Ventus interjected before he could say anything.

“He’s right,” he said. “This isn’t helping anything. It’s ridiculous that we’re even arguing about this.”

Even his other was getting frustrated. But it was all for the wrong reasons. Vanitas narrowed his eyes. For once, he hoped he was paying attention to his emotions so he would feel every inch of his animosity.

“It’s because none of you are listening,” Vanitas got out. “Am I the only one who’s seeing the problem here?”

“You’re the one who’s not listening!” Aqua shouted at him. “How many times to I have to tell you I’m going? You aren’t going to change my mind!”

Vanitas snapped his head up to look at her again. The longer this argument went on, the more frustrated he felt. The more pained he felt. He gritted his teeth, hoping the sensation would give him something else to focus on.

Her eyes were burning with determination. When she spoke again, somehow her voice was already calmer.

“And you’re right,” she began. “I do still have nightmares about that place. But that doesn’t matter. I’m a Keyblade Master, and there’s a job I need to do. I need to help a friend. If I let my fears get in the way, then what kind of Master am I?”

After hearing something like that, it was hard not to stare at her in awe. Vanitas was still extremely frustrated by this whole conversation, but another emotion slowly began to crack its way through.

It was like he was remembering why he adored her so much in the first place.

And she was right. Considering how strong she was, it felt like madness that he was even worried for her at all. It was like he didn’t think she could handle herself when that couldn’t be further from the truth.

But there was more to it than that. When he thought about her going back there, all he could think of was her sobbing alone in the dark. Alone with those memories tormenting her.

“Van.”

When she spoke his name, he realised he had gone silent. He was still staring at her, watching as she smiled at him. He was sure she meant it to be reassuring, but he could still see that pain.

“It’ll be okay,” she told him. “And besides, it’s not just about helping Sora. There’s something else we need to take care of down there.”

He narrowed his eyes. “Like what?”

“That Heartless. Remember? It almost killed you.”

How could he forget.

“The plant one?”

“Yes,” she nodded. “We can’t risk that thing getting out and wreaking havoc. We have to go back there and put it down. That’s what this device is for.”

His eyes were drawn to the object still in her hands. He almost forgot she even had it. He couldn’t imagine how a thing like that would even begin to take down a Heartless that powerful.

“So, we’re on the same page?” she asked as she put it in her pocket. “We’re going, not just to look for Sora, but to stop that Heartless too. And the sooner we do it, the better.”

Hearing those words put him on edge. Dread began to creep its way back into him.

“How soon are we talking?”

Her words seemed to catch in her throat. And when she started averting her eyes again, he just knew she was about to say something he wouldn’t like.

“As soon as we can,” she told him. “There’s still a few things left to prepare, but we should be ready to go tomorrow.”

Vanitas didn’t think he heard her right.

“I’m sorry. Did you just say tomorrow?”

She had to have heard the disbelief in his voice.

“I really didn’t mean to spring this on you,” she said. “I hadn’t expected the device to be finished so soon.”

All he could do was gape at her.

“Tomorrow…” He sounded out the word, but it wasn’t getting any better. “Are you serious?”

He must have finally been getting to her. He watched as she squirmed, the guilt on her face steadily growing.

“…We really shouldn’t wait any longer,” she said. “But it’s okay. We’re not making you-”

Vanitas couldn’t help himself. He burst into laughter, completely cutting her off. He didn’t care that the others were staring or how he might have looked to them, they should have understood after hearing something that ridiculous.

Because there was no way she was saying what he thought she was saying.

After a while, he finally managed to pull himself together long enough to look at her.

“Enough jokes,” he told her. “You don’t honestly think I’m staying behind, do you?”

“Van-”

“No, I don’t wanna hear it. I’m not gonna let you go off and do something this stupid without me.”

“Would you stop that?” she snapped at him. “It isn’t stupid to help out a friend!”

She was really starting to get mad now. It seemed like she finally hit the boiling point with Vanitas’ dismissal of everything. Honestly, he was just surprised it took this long.

“Aqua’s right,” Terra spoke up. He just had to butt in again. “And this friend is too important to ignore.”

Vanitas scoffed. “You mean Sora?”

He could see Riku flinch as he said the name. Not that he cared.

“All you people do is put him on a pedestal,” Vanitas muttered. “It was his own fault for getting lost in the first place.”

Maybe he shouldn’t have said something so cold. He could feel everyone’s icy stares on him, and he was sure it wouldn’t be long before one or all of them started yelling at him again. But it was Aqua’s disbelief that stung the most.

Right. Sora was the one who saved her. Remembering that almost made him want to shove those words back into his mouth, but it was far too late for that.

As for the others, Terra was the first who managed to say something.

“You weren’t even there!” he yelled out. “You have no idea what happened!”

Vanitas shot a glare at him. He was really testing his patience. But before he could do anything, Ventus ran between them as if sensing the growing tension. Always the peacemaker.

“Guys, I don’t wanna fight about this!” His eyes darted to Vanitas. “Sora is our friend so we’re going to help him. It’s that simple.”

“Maybe he’s yours, but he isn’t mine,” Vanitas said back. He held a hand up to his cheek as Ventus watched him. “I only have his face. That’s it.”

“Look,” Ventus shot out. He looked close to snapping at Vanitas himself. “I know you didn’t ask for that, but Sora was willing to help you too, remember? Don’t forget, he’s the reason any of us are even here! He’s the reason Aqua is here!”

Vanitas snapped his head up to him the moment he said her name. He hoped the warning glare he gave him was enough to get him to shut up.

The worst part was he already knew all this. He knew Sora was the one who saved her from that hell. But that was all Vanitas would be grateful to him for. It didn’t mean he wanted to search the whole Realm of Darkness for him when he wasn’t even there in the first place.

But he was going to. Or else he’d be leaving Aqua alone to do it with people who clearly never saw her struggles. She was their pillar after all. If they acknowledged any weakness in her, whatever they built her up to be would all come crashing down. So they ignore it. They could deny it’s what they were doing all they wanted, but Vanitas knew the truth.

The problem was they weren’t the only ones ignoring her pain. The biggest offender was Aqua herself.

He found himself gazing in her direction again. She seemed tired. Just tired. He was sure part of that was his fault, but he knew all this had to be weighing on her.

When she caught his eyes, she tried to give him a smile. It was just so pitiful.

“Van,” she began. “It’s okay. You don’t have to worry about me so much. I’ll be fine, I promise.”

His eyes didn’t leave hers. He could see the fear in them. He wondered if she even knew it was there.

He could try to bring it up, but even he was getting sick of the arguing. She would never change her mind about going, so it was pointless to waste his breath.

Maybe her friends knew that too. Maybe it was only him who even dared to try.

Speaking of her friends, they were all still staring at him. Riku too, who somehow looked nearly as uncomfortable as Vanitas felt. All this was making his skin crawl. It was like just then he realised how much he had been pouring his heart out in front of them.

He had essentially yelled out to all of them about how much he cared for her. This was so humiliating.

So he did the only thing he could do. He turned away from them all, from her, and began to walk from the room.

“Where are you going?”

The hurt in her voice slammed into him. It was enough to make him stop, but not enough to make him turn around. He had to leave now, or else he’d just say something worse to her.

“I need time to think,” he said to her. “Don’t bother coming after me. Go have fun with your friends.”

Maybe he could have said that more gently. He knew if he looked at her now, he would see the pain in her eyes. Even now, after everything, all he did was cause her pain. It may have just been his nature to hurt everyone around him.

But he would just hurt her more if he stayed. So with that in mind, he headed for the hallway door, listening out in case anyone followed him.

No one did. He supposed he should be happy that didn’t try, but he knew it was only a matter of time before someone came to check on him. But after what he just pulled, even that might take a while.

Still, there was something gnawing at the back of his head. A fear he didn’t want to have to face again.

What if he messed up again? What if this ended up like last time when she couldn’t bring herself to speak to him? Sure, they may have made a promise, but it was possible that argument made her not want to try at all. He upset her, he knew that, but he still didn’t feel like he did anything wrong. All he did was state the obvious, even if it was something she might not have wanted to hear. It was only natural to him to protect the one person he cared about.

He stopped in front of his door and rested his head along the wood. How had it all come to this? When did he start caring so much about another person? Normally, just that thought would have horrified him, but now he didn’t mind it as much as he should have. Maybe he was still feeling the high from last night. Maybe giving into that feeling really was dangerous.

But he was quickly brought back to reality when he remembered how upset she was just then. He needed to talk to her. Alone. Maybe her friends being there had thrown him off and made him antsier than he should have been, but he shouldn’t have let things get that heated. Now it was a question of whether she wanted to talk at all.

Maybe he would have to be the one who reached out this time.

Even though he knew how important it was, it would have to come later. He really did need some time to himself to gather his thoughts. And besides, if they really were going tomorrow, it didn’t leave him much time to prepare.

She may have denied it, but he wondered if that was on purpose. Maybe they really had intended to leave him behind.

Like that would ever happen. He would come along even if he had to find his own way there.

There was one thing he needed to do first, and with that thought in mind he pulled his door open. Shoved in a box under his bed was one of the few remnants of his old life he had left, and he would need it again.

His dark suit. He pulled the thing out of the box, and it didn’t take long for him to find the tears still throughout it. It was a strange thing. He was born wearing it and it was repaired by imbuing it with dark energy, yet he could remove it just like any other clothing. And right now, it was all he had to protect him in the dark realm.

Pooling his power together, he focused on one of the rips. It began to close, but it was slow going. This would probably take hours. Maybe he should have been working on this sooner, but he hadn’t known he would need it again so quickly. For a brief moment, he envied the armour the others got to wear. It was probably way too late to get some for himself, even if he went and asked for it now. For the time being, he would just have to keep working on his suit.

It was maybe ten minutes later when he finally felt a presence in the hallway. But it wasn’t the one he expected. Or wanted. A bang at the door confirmed it.

“Vanitas! Come on, open up! I know you’re in there!”

Hearing Terra’s big dumb voice right now was going to give him a migraine, and the banging certainly didn’t help. Vanitas wondered if he could try ignoring him, but he’d hate it if the brute resorted to breaking down his door.

“Terra!” he heard Ventus call out. Great, even better. “We don’t need to knock so hard. Aqua’ll get mad if we wreck the door.”

At least Ventus got the banging to stop, but Terra kept talking. It wasn’t much of an improvement.

“Well maybe he should come and answer before it comes to that.”

Vanitas cursed under his breath and shoved the suit under the bed. He’d never get any work done at this rate. He’d just have to chase them off.

With nothing else to lose, he stormed towards the door and yanked it open.

“What do you want?” he asked before they had a chance to speak.

He really wasn’t in the mood to talk and he hoped they knew that. The two of them glared at him from his doorway, with Terra looking especially unimpressed. His arms were crossed as he looked down at Vanitas with a mix of annoyance and contempt.

“What was all that about?” Terra asked him. “Just when I think I finally get what’s going on with you and Aqua, you go and pull something like this.”

Vanitas recoiled. Yeah, he knew they probably wanted to confront him over what happened, but he didn’t really expect them to start there. He really did not want to talk about him and Aqua with anyone, especially these two.

“So?” he got out. “Since when was it any of your business?”

“You can’t just run off every time you don’t get your way,” Terra told him. “And just now, I know you really hurt Aqua when you did.”

He really did not need this right now.

“Look, you’re right,” Terra went on. “It is none of my business. But she’s my friend and I don’t like seeing her hurt. Especially by someone she’s opened her heart to.”

Vanitas snapped his head up to glare at Terra. He hated how he was pretending he knew anything. But before Vanitas could snarl something back at him, Ventus took the opportunity to step between them. Vanitas wanted to groan when he saw that stupid grin his other was wearing.

“You know you don’t have to hide it,” said Ventus, looking way too happy now. “Something happened last night, and even Terra knows it.”

“It’s true,” Terra spoke up. He rubbed the back of his head. “I… really feel like I might have interrupted something. I can’t remember ever seeing Aqua look so flustered before. Even this morning, she seemed in a way better mood than usual, and I don’t think it was because of Riku coming here.”

He couldn’t help it. Just hearing that made his cheeks start to burn, but he knew there was no point trying to hide it. Ventus’ grin was already getting more irritating.

“And she wasn’t the only one in a better mood,” he spoke up. “And yeah, I know it’s not our business, but don’t throw that all away by fighting with her over something like this.”

Vanitas narrowed his eyes. They made it sound like it wasn’t even worth it.

“You don’t even get it.”

“We do, trust us,” said Terra. “You aren’t the only one who cares about her, and that’s something you need to understand.”

“But you’re right about one thing,” Ventus continued. “I wish we noticed. We should have realised just how much that place still impacted her, but I guess just means we have to work harder to be there for her from here on out.”

He wanted to groan. This was so sappy it was enough to make him nauseous. Their friendship had always irked him, but he knew now it was for a different reason. Now it was because he had to share someone for the first time in his life. If he could have his way, he would be all she ever needed.

But she wouldn’t like that. She cared about these two way too much. And seeing how willing they were to accept him, how willing they were to harass him for her sake, maybe she was onto something. Maybe he could start accepting it.

He scoffed at them. “At least now you know how idiotic you were not to notice.”

“Then I guess we’re idiots,” Terra chuckled. It was annoying when he took that way better than Vanitas thought he would.

“I’m just glad you were there for her when we couldn’t be,” added Ventus. “It was really something seeing you get so worked up about this.”

He just had to rub it in. Vanitas glared at him.

“Shut up.”

Now it was Ventus’ turn to chuckle. Did neither of them take him seriously anymore?

“Hey, it’s a good thing,” Ventus laughed. “It’s nice seeing you care about something so much. Just, maybe watch you don’t take it too far. You know she doesn’t need coddling.”

He balked at him. “That’s not what I was doing.”

“But you really didn’t need to say that stuff about Sora, you know,” Terra spoke up. “It was kinda uncalled for. Especially with Riku there.”

Vanitas crossed his arms. Was that what they were upset about? Yeah, it may have been insensitive, but it’s not like he was lying.

“And why should I care?”

That seemed to strike a nerve with the both of them. It was kind of nostalgic seeing rage like that directed at him. Even Ventus seemed angry.

“Because we’re all friends, that’s why,” he told him. “And I know Aqua hates it when you talk down to us. She said as much, didn’t she?”

Vanitas gritted his teeth. He hated the thought, but he knew they were right. It was the one thing that never failed to upset her.

He supposed he could try to be nicer, but it just wouldn’t be genuine. There was just so much baggage between all of them that it was hard to imagine ever not hating them. Especially Ventus.

But did he even really hate them that much anymore? They still irritated the hell out of him, and he couldn’t say he would miss them if they disappeared one day. But when he pictured hurting them himself, or even killing them, it just didn’t feel as satisfying as it once did. Probably because he could only imagine how heartbroken Aqua would be. That was enough of a deterrent.

Dammit. If he wanted to be closer to Aqua, he wouldn’t just have to tolerate them. He would have to play nice with them. He would have to be friendly with them. The idea revolted him, but who knows how long she would put up with him if he didn’t at least try.

“Look.” He rubbed at his forehead. “I know. But you… guys make it really hard to wanna get along with you sometimes.”

He heard Terra hold back a laugh.

“Look who’s talking,” he got out. “I still can’t get through a conversation with you without you giving me a death glare.”

“That’s just my face.”

“Not around Aqua.”

Ventus tried keeping his voice soft, but Vanitas still heard it. Now it was his turn to get a death glare. Only Ventus was doing his best to act nonchalant.

Vanitas clenched his fist. “You wanna say that again?”

“Sure!” he beamed. The bastard was enjoying this way too much. “Let’s see. You like her so much that you forget to put up your tough guy persona around her.”

That was just blatantly untrue.

“What? Says who?”

“You know,” Terra mused, like he just thought of something. “I’ve always known her to be a bit of a romantic. So you must have some kind of soft, sweet side to you, and we just hadn’t noticed.”

Vanitas gritted his teeth.

“Go on, keep talking. See where that gets you.”

“Don’t act like it’s a bad thing,” Ventus butted in. “You got someone as amazing as Aqua to like you, right?”

Okay, maybe he could kill them. Anything to stop this humiliation.

“I mean I still don’t really get it,” Terra continued. “But as long as you don’t hurt her, we won’t have any problems.”

Vanitas swivelled to him. Were they really doing this? Luckily, Ventus laughed before Vanitas had to say anything.

“I don’t think we need to worry about that,” he said. “Aqua will kick his butt if he tries anything.”

“Guess so.”

“Are you guys done yet?” Vanitas got out. “Did you really just come here to make fun of me?”

“Aww, we don’t mean anything bad by it,” said Ventus. He looked awfully relaxed with his hands resting behind his head. “Yeah, maybe we were teasing you a little, but I’m just glad that’s something we can do now.”

“Says who? I definitely didn’t say you could.”

“No,” Ventus grinned. “But you are taking way better than I thought you would.”

He really hated when Ventus was right about something. He knew this kind of teasing wasn’t malicious. It was something friends did. The thought was so disgusting it made his skin crawl.

“Oh, right,” Terra spoke up. “We actually came here to ask you something. I think Aqua is still chatting with Riku somewhere, so why don’t you come down with us? Might be useful to discuss what we’re doing.”

Vanitas was happy for the change in subject, but it still made him stop short. It wasn’t a terrible idea, and normally he would see the benefits in discussing something like that.

But he hesitated. When he thought about returning to that room with all her friends, he was terrified their argument would just pick up from where they left off. He might even say something worse. He would really much rather just talking with her alone. At least maybe then he could try to say what he was really thinking. It was just a matter of waiting until she was by herself.

Besides, he had that suit under his bed to work on. So, he shook his head.

“Pass. I’m busy.”

Instantly, both their expressions soured. He probably could have put it in a better way.

“Oh, come on,” Ventus groaned. “Are we seriously doing this again?”

“Didn’t you wanna come with us?” Terra asked him. “If that’s the case, shouldn’t you be part of the conversation?”

Vanitas narrowed his eyes. “Why? Seems you’ve all been doing just fine planning this all without me.”

“It wasn’t a secret, you know,” Terra told him. “You could have jumped in at any time. I don’t know how you didn’t realise what we were planning. What, did you think we were just sitting here twiddling our thumbs while Sora was still out there?”

“Can you blame me? Hardly anyone has even mentioned him until now!”

“That wasn’t on purpose,” said Ventus. “It was just hard to talk about him when we weren’t getting anywhere.”

“But yeah, maybe we could have been more transparent,” said Terra. “I guess we still haven’t been including you very much, have we?”

This was really starting to be too much. He knew why they were trying to talk with him, but it didn’t mean he had to like it. It would be a very long time before he would start thinking of them as friends, no matter how hard they tried.

“Look,” Vanitas groaned. “I don’t care about that. And I’m not trying to avoid it now, I just seriously have got some stuff to do. We’re leaving tomorrow, right? You really want me to go without getting what I need ready?”

“Well, I guess when you put it that way…” said Ventus.

“Alright,” said Terra. “Just don’t hide out here all day. We’ll tell Aqua you’re busy, but you should really talk to her before we leave. And apologise.”

That took him aback. “Apologise?”

“Come on, you should know why. I already said you really hurt her when you stormed off. And before that, you were being kind of an ass.”

“You did say some pretty mean stuff,” added Ventus. “Maybe you should apologise to Riku too.”

The thought made Vanitas grimace, but he knew there weren’t really a lot of ways out of it. He would have to apologise to Aqua for sure. Maybe he could get out of giving Riku one if he just didn’t run into him. Should be easy if he just stayed in his room, but who knows if Riku would want to see him before leaving.

“Yeah, yeah, fine,” Vanitas got out through gritted teeth. “I’ll apologise. Happy?”

“Yes actually.” Ventus was grinning again. “Nice to see you finally coming around. I’m sure if we had this conversation a few weeks ago, you would have slammed the door in our faces by now.”

“Wanna test that?”

“Actually, we should get going,” said Terra. “And it’s your last chance to come too. I was so sure you’d wanna help out.”

Vanitas all but gaped at him. Was he really trying to guilt him into it? This was so ridiculous.

“Look…” he got out. “I’ll come when I finish up here. But that’ll take longer the more you waste my time.”

“Alright, got it. Come on, Ven.”

“You go. I’ll just be a second.”

Great, looks like he wanted to talk some more. Again. Terra shrugged at them before leaving, and while he was now out of the picture, Vanitas couldn’t say that was much of an improvement.

Vanitas turned his glare towards the remaining annoyance. He still looked so smug too.

“What is it now?”

Ventus chuckled to himself. “You know you can’t change her mind about going, but that just means you should try to be there for her instead.”

Now he wanted to hit him. He almost couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“I have been.”

“I know,” Ventus said with a smirk. “I mean aside from that conversation back there, I hadn’t seen her this happy in weeks. Whatever you did last night, maybe you should try doing it again.”

Vanitas’ face flushed. “Shut up.”

It seemed like none of his threats would get through to him anymore. All Ventus did was laugh again. It was really starting to irritate the hell out of him, but he didn’t know how to fix it.

“Alright, I’ll leave you alone,” he said. “We’ll tell Aqua you’re busy, but I hope you’ll try to talk to her before we leave.”

With that, Ventus was soon out of his sight and Vanitas was just happy to finally get some peace. All that idiot did was say stuff he already knew.

He knew he had to talk to her. He couldn’t afford to make the same mistakes as before. If this turned into another stint of them not speaking to each other, he would never forgive himself.

All he had to do was wait. At least he had his suit to fix, so that was one way he could feel useful.

He grabbed the box out again and went to work. As he used his power to stitch the material back together, it wasn’t long before he felt his exhaustion creeping up. This was going to take longer than he thought it would.

Just like that, he was reminded of the other main source of grief plaguing him. Even after all this time he had spent here training, all the work he had put in, his strength had still barely come back at all. It was starting to worry him. There was a very real chance that he would never be back at his former splendour, and maybe he would have to accept that.

But it was way too soon to start thinking such things. It was the same as giving up.

The hours went by. The effort left him completely drained, but eventually his suit was good as new. Now he had no excuses left.

He threw the suit back under his bed and took a moment to psych himself up. There was a good chance they were all still talking, but he was running out of time. The sun had set, and he needed to get this done before they left the next morning. He really didn’t want to, but he knew if he just asked to talk to her alone, she would go along without question. It was only a bonus if he didn’t have to talk to anyone else.

When he left his room, he tried to feel around for her presence. He didn’t feel her nearby, and he let out a groan of frustration. They might actually still be talking. He really did not want to go back in there, but would he even have a choice?

But as he started walking down the hall, something drew him to the window. He paused, taking a moment to gaze out over the courtyard. At first, there was nothing in particular out there, but sure enough he soon caught sight of a blue-haired figure strolling towards the mountain path. Relief swept over him once he realised his wish could come true. Now, he could easily talk to her without the others knowing.

However, that relief was short lived as he thought over what he saw.

She was alone. Not only that, but it was also dark out. There was no reason for her to be wandering around outside at this time of night, all by herself. He didn’t even think Riku had left yet either, so it was strange she would leave a guest just like that.

Besides, the nights were getting chillier and she still hadn’t bothered to wear a jacket.

Without thinking, Vanitas returned to his room, just to pull the top blanket from his bed. There wasn’t much time to search for another after all.

But he didn’t get very far. The moment he stepped into the hallway with the blanket bundled in his arms, something appeared right in front of him out of thin air. He jumped back on instinct, watching as the small grey creature dusted itself off in front of him. Its eyes seemed to widen as it caught sight of him.

“Oh! I’m sorry!” it got out. “I didn’t mean to scare you!”

It was that weird creature again. Chirithy, if he remembered correctly. Yet another source of frustration since coming here. He really didn’t need this right now.

He narrowed his eyes. “What do you want?”

Just like in the last discussion they had, the thing seemed to spend a lot of its time cowering from him. Though he supposed it may be a reasonable response, considering how annoyed he was starting to get with it.

“Nothing!” it finally spoke. “I just… wanted to check on you.”

Not this again.

“Why?” he asked it. “Who are you?”

“It’s okay, I’m a friend.”

It spoke too quickly. Maybe Vanitas shouldn’t have expected a straight answer. It soon continued.

“I’ve been watching you for a little while now, and-”

“You’ve been watching me?” Vanitas cut it off. “Why? Did Ventus put you up to this?”

He was sure his hostility was obvious now. The creature rapidly shook its head while backing into the wall, as if it was trying to create as much space as possible. It was such a pathetic thing to see.

“No!” it got out. “Ventus didn’t ask me this time. It’s something I’ve been doing on my own. I was just curious about you, that’s all."

Vanitas watched the creature. He would really rather not be talking to this thing right now. All he could remember was the terrible mood it put him in after the last time they spoke.

And he hated the fact that he felt like it knew something it wasn’t telling him.

But he could deal with that later. He had way more important things to do. And right now, he really did not want to be put in a bad mood.

“Look,” he began. “While I’d love to stay and chat, I got somewhere to be right now. So buzz off.”

To his surprise, the Chirithy perked up at that.

“Oh! Is that for her?”

It took a moment for him to realise what it was referring to. Then he realised what he was holding. The blanket almost slipped from his hands as he remembered, and he did his best to gather it up again while trying to stamp down his embarrassment. Once it was secure, he scowled at the creature.

“So what? What has it got to do with you?”

Maybe it was getting used to him. Or maybe it realised just how soft he was getting. Either way, it didn’t seem as timid as before.

“I told you I’ve been watching you for a while,” it said. “And I gotta say, I’m pretty happy. You sure have changed.”

Vanitas glared at it as he processed the word. “Changed?”

“Well,” it began. “You were just a creature of darkness before. But now, I can feel the light growing within you. It’s such a relief to be honest.”

He took a step back.

Light? No, that wasn’t possible.

“You don’t believe me.” It spoke up before he had a chance to respond. “But it’s there. I think your light mainly comes from other people, especially-”

“Don’t say it.”

Chirithy tilted its head. “Why not? It’s a good thing. It means your heart is filling up, and one day that will be where you draw your strength from instead of darkness.”

Vanitas scoffed. “Yeah, that’s not happening. In case you hadn’t realised, I am darkness.”

The words had barely left his lips when the creature froze, its expression turning the closest thing it could to terror. Vanitas could only stare at it.

Why did it react like that? He had said a lot worse to the creature and it didn’t seem nearly as scared.

“…You said you didn’t remember.”

Its voice was so quiet that he almost didn’t hear it. This was starting to get irritating.

“Remember what? What are you even talking about?”

That terror seemed to die down a bit, but Vanitas could see it was still on edge. It looked like it was trying to figure out the right words to use.

“So…” it got out. “You don’t remember?”

Vanitas narrowed his eyes. “Look, I’m getting sick of this. As I told you already, I don’t remember a thing before I was torn out of Ventus.”

He was sure the look sweeping across its face was relief, but he wasn’t willing to let it go that easy.

“Hey!” Vanitas called out, making sure he had its attention. “Don’t think you get so say something like that and not explain it! You knew us before we were split, didn’t you?”

“Um…” Now the creature looked ready to panic again. “It really isn’t for me to say. And besides, Ventus doesn’t really remember me either so there’s no point asking him about it.”

“What?” Vanitas raised an eyebrow. “If he doesn’t remember you, then why was he asking you to watch over me before?”

“Well, I told him we were friends, and he believed me.”

Vanitas choked back a laugh. Of course that happened.

“Yeah, that sounds like him. What an idiot.”

“But there was really nothing worth remembering anyway,” Chirithy blurted out. “The important thing is making new memories, right?”

Amazing. It was still trying to backpedal.

“No, you’re not getting out of this that easy,” Vanitas told it. “You know something about me. What, was Ventus not such a good boy when we were together?”

That got the creature to freeze up again. This whole thing was making the gears start turning in his head. Maybe Vanitas had caught on more than he realised.

It was really starting to make him think. While it was true he didn’t remember that time before, he remembered Xehanort telling him something. He originally operated under the assumption that Vanitas was just the dark part of Ventus’ heart, but one time he told him he was far too powerful to have come from someone so filled with light. It meant that maybe he was something else.

He did like the thought at the time. He hated the idea that he had been part of something so weak, so it felt good knowing that his origins were from elsewhere. But seeing as Xehanort waited until the very last moment to tell him that much, he didn’t even get to enjoy it for very long. He had even forgotten until now.

Maybe it was worth revisiting. He had long since moved past the idea of joining up with Ventus again, and maybe this was a way he could truly be his own entity. He just hated the idea that he would have to get it out of the creature in front of him.

“Like I said,” the creature spoke up. Seems like it had finally figured out how to respond. “I don’t think the past matters so much. It’s what you do from here on out that’s important.”

Vanitas could only stare at it. It was such a cop out that he didn’t even want to respond.

“And you really do seem human now,” it added. “Whether you remember or not, things are different now.”

Human. There was that word again. It was the last thing that should apply to him, but after everything that happened the previous night, he was starting to not hate the word quite as much.

He shifted his grip on the blanket in his arms. Yeah, that was pretty good evidence that things were different.

“Oh, sorry!” it spoke up again, having caught his movement. “You were on your way somewhere. I won’t keep you.”

And with a flip, it disappeared into a puff of smoke once again. It happened so fast that Vanitas didn’t even have time to question him more. He was stuck staring at the place it stood not seconds ago, and he soon felt his irritation building.

It knew something about him. But he couldn’t even begin to imagine what that was. He should be trying to track that thing down and make it talk, but he had way more pressing issues to deal with right now. It could at least wait until after they got back from the Realm of Darkness.

For now, he was delayed long enough. Who knows if Aqua was even still out there. If he missed his window because of that overgrown teddy bear he would definitely be a lot less friendly on their next encounter.

He continued through the hallway and into the main hall, thankful he saw no sign of the others. He could still tell Ventus was in the castle at least, so hopefully the others were with him. They had probably just gone to continue their conversation elsewhere, but Vanitas didn’t care about that. So long as he didn’t run into them.

With that in mind, he ran out of the castle and started down the path. If she was still somewhere along here, she probably hadn’t wandered too far. There were a few places she liked to sit when she wanted to watch the stars. Vanitas was almost certain that’s what she was doing.

Sure enough, it didn’t take long for him to spot her sitting at the edge of the cliff, her gaze pointed upwards. She was so enraptured by the sky that even as he approached, she gave no indication that she noticed him. A small breeze blew by, and he caught her wrapping her arms around herself, a shiver surely going through her body.

He stepped closer without realising it. She still hadn’t noticed him. After letting out a sigh, he crouched down behind her and laid the blanket over her shoulders. Her body tensed the moment he let it touch her. He leant in close to her.

“Idiot,” he murmured into her ear. “You really are gonna catch a cold at this rate.”

She let out a gasp of surprise before turning to him, her face completely red. Her eyes were as wide as saucers, and as he stared into them, everything started to crash over him again. He had half a mind to pull her close and make up for that interruption last night, but that would have to come later.

It was only as he sat down beside her that he realised she hadn’t moved her eyes from him. Normally by now, she would have gotten self-conscious and tried to look away, so this period of intense staring was starting to make him worry.

And there was something else to the way she looked at him. A sort of stunned surprise that he hadn’t really seen on her before. He raised an eyebrow.

“What is it?”

His words seemed to snap her out of it. Before long, she was back to avoiding his gaze. Part of him already missed it.

“N-nothing,” she stammered out. She pulled the blanket tighter around her, enough that it nearly covered her face. It was like she was trying to hide herself from him, but he could still see how red she was from the parts still poking out.

Cute.

As he drank in the sight of her, her eyes shifted toward his again. His breath nearly stopped. That expression, it was the same one from last night.

That adoration.

It was so hard for him not to kiss her again, but he had to remember what he was there for. They needed to talk, and he wouldn’t let either of them run away this time.

He took a breath before summoning his words.

“So,” he began. “What are you doing out here? It’s a little chilly, isn’t it?”

May as well start with something easy. His question made her shift into the blanket even more and he was already feeling his mind short circuit. She really needed to stop being so cute.

But then she pulled her face out so she could look skyward again. He could see the melancholy in her expression, even if she wanted to hide it.

“It’s not so bad,” she said. “I just wanted to look at the stars for a bit. I’m… not sure when I’ll get another chance to do it.”

Just like that, he was starting to feel irritated again. There was a lot he could say to her right now. But he had to hold it back. He couldn’t afford to get mad right now.

He really needed to talk to her.

“Aqua,” he spoke, forcing the words out. “Are you really okay with going back there?”

She turned her head back to him and watched him for a moment. It was almost like a warning. He didn’t really blame her, especially considering their last conversation. He saw the unease flash across her face, but soon her attention drifted back to the sky.

“Yes,” she answered. “I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if I let my fears get in the way of helping my friends.”

Of course she would answer that way.

“I’m not asking whether you have to,” he began. “I know that already. I’m asking if you’re okay with it.”

She went silent for a moment, and while that should have been enough of an answer, she responded anyway.

“I’ll be okay, Van,” she spoke, turning to him again. “It isn’t my first time returning there.”

He frowned. He knew he wouldn’t be getting anything else out of her. Maybe he should have expected this. She was just so spectacularly stubborn. But he couldn’t let it go.

“You won’t find him there,” he muttered. “You know that, right?”

She spun her head towards him, and he felt the protest coming before it arrived.

“We can’t afford not to look everywhere,” she told him. “Everyone has been searching all over the place and we still have no leads. Do you know how frustrating that is? It feels like we’ve failed.”

He hated hearing her talk like this. And her expression was even worse. Despair lingered there, like all this had been tormenting her for a very long time.

“…You haven’t failed,” he said to her. “Don’t talk like you’re giving up.”

“I’m not. It’s just-”

“He’s important to you, right?” he asked her. “He’s the one who saved you, so of course you’d wanna save him back.” He paused before saying the next part. “But that doesn’t mean you have to throw yourself into danger, especially when it’ll give you nothing in return.”

Now she was frowning at him.

“We don’t know that’s true,” she argued. “I want to believe you, but I can’t just take your word for it. Things were pretty frantic the last time we were there, and there’s no guarantee you didn’t miss something.”

“Believe me. I know he isn’t there.”

“Then where else do we look? Tell me!”

That outburst shook him. She looked close to tears again, enough that it started to remind him of that night.

He really hated it when she was like this.

She had to pull her eyes away from him, just so she could compose herself. She should have known it was futile to pretend things were okay in front of him.

“We should have been there,” she spoke. “Back when Xehanort… hurt Kairi. If only we had gotten there faster, maybe we could have stopped him. Maybe then, Sora wouldn’t have had to-”

“Enough,” Vanitas interrupted. “Thinking like that will get you nowhere.”

“It’s just… after everything he’s done for us, I hate not being able to do anything for him.”

Yeah, he definitely knew that now. There was really no arguing against how important Sora was to her. To everyone. Vanitas’ throat went dry as he contemplated his next words.

“Listen,” he began. “I know I’ve been… insensitive about this. And I’m sorry, okay. But I hate to see the one person I care about go through hell like this.”

She snapped her head towards him. That surprise from before was back. He just had to go and say something embarrassing like that.

And then he had to make it worse.

“I know I said some awful stuff,” he continued. “About how your friends didn’t care. But I was wrong. I’ve always known how much they care, I was just frustrated.” He stopped for a moment just to tug at his hair. He needed to feel the sting. “I just felt like no one was really seeing what was going on.”

“It’s okay. I forgive you.”

The words washed over him. He hadn’t expected forgiveness that quickly.

And it sounded so genuine. He knew she had told him something similar before, but now he might actually believe it.

He sucked in a breath, doing what he could to stop his emotions spilling out. It was unbelievable that such few words could shake him so much.

“But I gotta say,” she continued. “I was really upset when you ran away earlier.”

“Sorry.”

The apology came out on its own, proof of how rattled he was. But as he watched her take it in, watched as she gave him the softest smile, he felt himself start to crumble even more.

“It’s okay,” she told him again. “I didn’t really understand why at the time. Ven and Terra said you were getting ready, but I’m not sure I really believed them. But now, I think I get it.”

She needed to stop looking at him like that. It was getting harder to think.

“I really did need to get ready, you know,” he muttered. “But you’re right. I did just have to get away. Before I did something else that stupid.”

She shook her head. “It wasn’t stupid. I understand. I’d… be a real fool if I didn’t realise how much you cared about me.”

He had just said as much word for word but hearing her repeat it just made it seem even more real. All he could do was turn away from her as he flushed from embarrassment. Better that than show her how red his face was.

“Yeah, yeah,” he muttered, rubbing the back of his head. “You don’t have to say it so loud.”

She chuckled at that, and it was a welcome sound despite his ongoing humiliation.

“Well, no one else is out here,” she said. “It’s nice to just get away from things for a little bit.”

His eyes wandered to her again, but she was already back to looking at the stars. It was like she was trying to memorise them. Like she didn’t know when she would have another chance to do so.

Despite the pain that thought caused him, it wasn’t long before his gaze drifted upwards as well. There might have been a reason she kept looking up. There was just something so mesmerising about the sky that night. Something about it was so peaceful. Like for just a moment, he could forget everything.

Aqua shifted somewhere beside him. He glanced at her in time to see her reaching toward him, holding an end of the blanket. She froze in the act once she realised she was caught.

“Um…” she began, shifting her eyes away from him. “This is kind of a big blanket. And you seem a little cold yourself.”

His mind completely stopped. All he could do was stare at her like an idiot, his gaze flicking between her and the blanket. Then like it was summoned by Aqua herself, Vanitas suddenly felt a chilly breeze blow past his shoulders. It was cold enough to make him shiver, and he knew it was something she picked up on.

He caught her eyes again and swallowed. She was waiting for him to respond, but he didn’t know how. He could already feel the warmth radiating off her. He nodded at her when he realised he wouldn’t be able to get any words out, and that must have been enough of an answer.

As she leant over him, his entire body froze on instinct. It must have only been a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity as she pulled the blanket over his shoulders. The entire time, she was close enough that he could almost feel her breath. That alone was enough to warm him up.

When she was done, she pulled away just a moment to adjust her own end of the blanket. But there was no reprieve before she shuffled closer to him again. He barely stopped himself from gasping as he felt her brush against him. She had left absolutely no space between them, and the warmth he felt from it was maddening. It still blew him away that she would ever choose to be close to him like this.

She hummed in content somewhere next to him. His heart was thudding like crazy. It got even worse as she leant into him. Not like there was anywhere else for her to go.

“Was this from your bed?” she asked him as she tugged the blanket tighter around herself. Around them. All he could do was grunt in affirmation. If he did anything else, he may end up forgetting what he was there to do in the first place.

His mind was starting to cloud over again. His throat was dry. Her very being filled every one of his senses, leaving no escape. It felt like he was being devoured whole, yet strangely he didn’t mind at all.

Her hand brushed against his at some point, her touch unbelievably gentle. He weaved their fingers together without a second thought. This was all starting to feel so natural that it scared him.

But he wanted more. He wanted to pull her even closer to him and show her just how much he desired her. How much she consumed his every thought. She must have had some idea at this point. She had to have known what she was doing to him.

He almost caved in. But a single nagging thought managed to push its way through the haze of his mind. There was still something he had to know. And this was the best chance to get it out of her.

“Aqua,” he began. He couldn’t look at her as he spoke. “Tell me something. Were you planning on leaving me behind?”

“What?” she blurted out. She shifted so suddenly beside him that he felt the blanket almost slip off them. “Of course not! I always intended for you to come along.”

He peered at her out of the corner of his eye. She wasn’t lying, but all it meant was that she had convinced herself.

“You mean that?”

“Yes,” she answered. “Even if I had wanted to leave you out, I don’t think there’s a lot I could do to stop you.”

Vanitas watched her for just a moment longer. He wanted to believe her, but this just felt like another instance of her being too nice to him. Of her ignoring his faults.

He turned back to the stars before speaking again. He couldn’t look at her while he said this.

“Because I wouldn’t blame you,” he began. “If you wanted to leave me behind. Considering how weak I am.”

“Van, you’re not weak.”

She responded so quickly. Maybe he should have expected it. It was only natural for a Master to want to raise up one of her students. Though, it felt weird to think of it that way since they definitely crossed that line at some point. But it’s what made her response make sense. He had to keep prodding her if he wanted the truth.

“You don’t need to butter me up,” he told her. “You can say it how it is. I know you’ve been talking me up to other people, but you don’t have to do that when it’s just me.”

“That’s not what I’m doing,” she insisted. “I have been saying it how it is. You aren’t weak.”

Now he wanted to laugh. “Come on, you’ve been paying attention during training, right? I can hardly even hold a fight anymore. I used to be able to go toe to toe with you, now I can barely keep up. I’m nowhere near as strong as I once was.”

“Van, listen to me.” She squeezed his hand as she spoke. “That isn’t all strength is. You’ve been through so much, more than I can even imagine, and yet you keep on fighting. You refuse to give up, even when the odds are stacked against you. That is what I call strength, and I admire you so much for it.”

His body tensed as those words reached him. Some part of him wanted to argue, but it was quickly being drowned out by that warm feeling growing within him.

Someone like her thinks he deserves her admiration. It was so backwards. Yet he couldn’t help but bask in the glow that feeling gave him.

If only for a short while. He still had to set her straight. All he could do was keep talking.

“But that isn’t enough,” he murmured. “I know what power is. What strength is. I used to have it in spades. But now, I’m barely a shell of who I once was.”

“I think now, your strength just comes from somewhere else,” she continued. “You’ve always been strong, but now, I think your strength comes from your heart. It’s drawn from the people you care about. The people who care about you.”

He finally turned to her again. There she was, gazing at him with such a soft expression. Something in him jolted when he remembered how close she was. He sucked in a breath.

But there was more he wanted to say. He forced himself to look away from her again.

“You know when you found me in the Realm of Darkness,” he began. “I had lost just about all my powers. My Keyblade and some of the darkness were the only things to come back, even now. I still don’t know why I survived or why I was even down there in the first place. But I do know that if I were there any longer, I would be dead.”

“Van…”

He turned back to her. “You saved me. And for the longest time, I didn’t understand why. I know you gave me a reason, but it still didn’t make sense to me. Even if you wanted to save someone, why was it me? After everything I had done to you.”

“Because I believe in second chances,” she told him. He could feel her drawing circles along his hand. “And even if you didn’t want help, you were suffering. I’ll admit, I wasn’t really thinking at the time. All I knew was that I could never leave someone behind in a place like that, no matter who they were.”

“Even if it was me?” he asked her. He hadn’t meant to sound so vulnerable, but it was far too late to care. “I was telling the truth back then, you know. If I were strong enough, I would have tried to kill you again. I was humiliated, and the only thing I could think about was taking revenge.”

“And now?”

He gazed at her. “I don’t need it anymore. Now, I want to get stronger just so I could stay with you.”

Her eyes widened at his words, and a blush fell on her cheeks once again. It seemed like he had finally driven her to speechlessness.

“I… didn’t want to admit it,” he continued. “But I think I’ve always been enamoured by you. Even when I first met you, you were just this strong, beautiful force of nature. I had to force myself not to think about you too much, even then. So, can you blame me when I say that all this now just feels like a dream?”

“Van…” she began, but no other words came out. She sounded so breathless. It was all starting to become a little too much.

He pulled himself closer, holding himself back enough that he could still see her face. She was unspeakably gorgeous in the starlight, and he wanted to see every little expression she made.

“I know I don’t have to worry about you,” he spoke. “You could probably destroy that Heartless in your sleep. But there’s some part of me that just can’t help it. I’m watching you say everything is fine, but I can see it in your eyes. You’re scared. If you didn’t want me to figure that out, maybe you shouldn’t have let me get so close.”

She swallowed. She looked so conflicted with herself. Like she was on the verge of pulling him further towards her, but she still had to hold herself back for some reason. It was funny to see the tables turn like this, considering that was exactly what he had been doing this entire time.

“I think saying I’m scared is a little much,” she murmured. “I am… apprehensive. But I’m not going to let that get in the way. If anything, I have even less to be scared of this time because I have you.”

He smirked. “You’re giving me too much credit. You don’t need me to protect you.”

She shook her head. “No, but I’ll still need you to be there for me. Keep an eye out for me.”

“You don’t even need to ask that. Why do you even think I’m going?”

Just then, she gave him a smile. It was such a wonderful, soft smile. His mind began to fog over again from the sight of it.

“Well, I appreciate it,” she told him.

He was running out of things he needed to say, and because of that, it was getting harder and harder to hold himself back. He would never tire of the feeling of her pressed beside him, but he was quickly starting to wonder how much further he could push her. It was a dangerous line of thought.

But just as he felt himself start to crack, she had her eyes to the sky once again.

“It’s nice here,” she spoke. “I think I could stay here watching the stars with you forever.”

“Then do that.”

She turned her head back to him after he misspoke. He really hadn’t meant for that to slip out, but it was too late to backtrack.

Normally he would struggle to meet her eyes after something like that, but now he stared directly at her. He’d already said way more embarrassing stuff after all.

“When we get back,” he spoke. “I’ll come out and watch the stars with you whenever you want.”

He watched her suck in a breath. She was so taken by surprise that the blanket started to slip off her shoulder. He leant over to grab it without thinking and draped it back over her. He only realised what he was doing when he caught the look on her face.

His entire body froze as he became aware of just how close he had pulled himself. There was nowhere to hide, and once his eyes found hers, all thoughts ceased. Her entire face was flushed, something which was starting to become a familiar sight. His arm was still around her from where he grabbed the blanket. It would only take one small tug of the fabric to pull her completely into him.

Her hand that was over his had now travelled upwards, and he could feel it nudging it his arm. Like she wanted him even closer. One glance down at those red lips of hers was enough to make him oblige.

When their lips met again, he almost forgot how to breathe. This wasn’t the quick peck he used to stop her running away, this was something slower and more deliberate. He finally had the chance to feel her move her mouth against his, and the feeling was indescribable. She pushed herself into him, allowing her lips to slot perfectly against his. Her hand continued up his arm, trailing up to the back of his neck. He shuddered at the sensation, especially when her fingers found his hair.

His own hand found its way to her jaw, where it nudged her further into the kiss. She responded by pulling herself even closer. It still blew him away that she would even let this happen, never mind advance things.

She pulled her lips away after a moment but kept her face close to his, close enough that he could still feel her breath. He badly wanted to pull her back, but instead watched as she fought to breathe. Her face was flushed, her eyes fixated on his mouth. He watched as she bit her lip.

That was all it took to make him dive back in. His lips took hers, and he pulled himself even closer, doing his best to eliminate any space between them. A hand remained on her jaw while the other found its way up along her back. He drew circles on the soft skin she left exposed and relished the shudder it got out of her. It was only when the cool breeze started assaulting his arm that he realised he dropped the blanket at some point. Who even needed it?

Her mouth broke away from his once more, but he immediately chased after it again. He wondered if she could feel the desperation in his kiss, like he didn’t know whether it would ever happen again. Like he didn’t know whether he was on the verge of waking up and discovering that all of this really had been just a dream.

If he had one wish, it was that this didn’t have to end.

She pulled away one last time, moving her head further away so it would take more effort to join their lips again. He could hear how heavy she was breathing. He could see how vibrantly red her face was. But all he could think about was how badly he wanted more.

“Van…” she breathed out. Her hand had moved away from him and now rested on her chest as if to steady it. He badly wanted to use it to tug her close again.

“Aqua,” he nearly growled. He went to move towards her again, but she placed a hand on his chest to stop him.

“Wait,” she got out. “We… shouldn’t. Not now. It’s really late, and we have a big day tomorrow.”

He frowned. “So what? What could a little longer hurt?”

She flushed again and turned her head away. It wouldn’t take much for him to reach for her face and tilt it back towards him again.

“Maybe some other time. It’s… kinda cold out here anyway.”

When he couldn’t reach her cheek, his hand found her wrist instead, where he gently brushed his fingers against her skin. He needed to have some part of him touching her, or he felt like he would go crazy.

He smirked at her and leant in just a little more. “What do you think the blanket’s for?”

She took in a breath. She looked to be struggling with herself nearly as much as he was. But he knew she had way more self-control than he did.

What would happen if she let go just a little more?

“Yes,” she got out. “But we kinda forgot it, didn’t we?”

That was obvious with how it was currently pooled on the ground around them. Vanitas sighed, feeling like his defeat was inevitable. But he didn’t have to give in just yet. He tugged at the hand still on his chest and pulled it to his mouth, where he brushed his lips along her knuckles. The gasping sound she made only made it even harder to resist continuing where they left off.

“Van…” she whined. He wondered if he knew just what he was thinking. How close he was to just claiming her lips again. “Please. Maybe when we get back?”

He hummed to himself. She was offering a compromise, but he didn’t know if it would be enough for him.

“Alright,” he murmured against her hand. He made sure her eyes were on him as he said the next part. “But you might have to convince me. You wouldn’t happen to have anything in mind, would you?”

That question was worth it. He had never seen her go so red so quickly. He could only imagine what she was thinking, and he wondered what it would take to get it out of her.

It was like her brain finally caught up with her when she snapped her head away. The blush had travelled all the way to her ears.

“Um…” she began. “I… um…”

There was no way he could resist. He leant in, close enough that he could almost brush his lips along her earlobe.

“Aqua…” he purred. “Tell me what you want.”

She shivered at his voice. He watched her open her mouth, but nothing would come out. It was addictive seeing her like this and knowing that he was the one who did it was an incredible feeling.

That’s right. It was him that made her flustered like this. Right now, it didn’t matter if it made sense or not, he would relish her reaction.

He pressed his lips to the skin beneath her ear and felt her gasp.

“Van!” she yelled out. Just hearing her say his name like that was enough to make him want to go for more, but she pulled herself away before he got the chance.

It was when she stood up that her wondered if he went too far. But she hadn’t made any other moves, other than a pitiful attempt to cover her reddening face with her hand.

“I already said not tonight,” she told him. Her eyes were looking anywhere but him. “I… listen, it’s not like I don’t want to. But I mean it, we really do have to rest up.”

He scowled at her. He wasn’t sure if there was any way he could still argue. Maybe he would just have to take the reactions he got already and be satisfied with that.

Besides, she just told him in no uncertain terms that she would continue if they didn’t have obligations. That would have to be enough.

“Alright,” he said with a sigh. “You win.”

She had the audacity to pout at that. But it was soon interrupted by a shiver going through her body as a particularly cold breeze slammed into her. Without wasting any time, he jumped up, taking the blanket with him. It wasn’t long before he pulled it around her shoulders once again. She watched him as he did.

“Isn’t this from your bed?” she asked. “I thought you’d want it back.”

He shook his head as he finished pulling it around her. He flicked his eyes up to hers before he smirked again.

“Keep it. Looks like you need it much more than me.”

It was a good thing she didn’t seem to have the energy to protest. She cracked a smile as she tugged it around herself, and the sight made his heart nearly stop.

Dammit. He needed to stop getting mesmerised at everything she did, or he wouldn’t be able to function. She was just too beautiful for words.

Her eyes caught his, and something in her expression shifted to worry. Maybe he had been staring too long.

“What is it?”

He smiled at her. “Nothing. Just thinking about how much I wanna kiss you again.”

When her eyes widened again, he knew then and there he would never tire of the sight. He heard her suck in a breath, and it was all he could do not to pull himself close to her again.

“Um…” she began. “How about after we defeat that Heartless, then we can kiss.”

The image flew into his mind. The two of them standing over the fading corpse of the Heartless, then Vanitas yanking her towards him to make good on that promise. He was sure she meant after they returned here, but the appeal was difficult to ignore. The only downside was that they wouldn’t be the only ones there. He was sure she would never approach him with that intention if her friends were around, nor did he really want her to. He was the only one who would get to see her like this.

He knew she was waiting for a response, so he smiled at her again.

“You really mean that?” he asked her. “Well then, I guess I’d better not let you down.”

“You won’t,” she said, shaking her head. He could see her starting to smile too. “I know we’ll get through this.”

“Of course we will. We’ve been through a lot worse, right?”

He held his hand out to her, and his heart thudded as she accepted it, allowing their fingers to entwine together. He really would never get tired of this.

As they started to walk back up the path, he heard her chuckle to herself.

“What is it?” he asked.

“Oh, nothing really,” she said. “It’s just funny. I never would have thought things would end up like this.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“No, not at all.” She turned her head to him, like she was making sure he could see the content on her face. “I’m really glad I have you with me. I guess you’re good proof that the darkness doesn’t always have to be scary.”

He couldn’t help himself and pouted. “Come on, I’m plenty scary.”

“Sure you are.”

“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean? I’m terrifying!”

When she burst into laughter, he couldn’t be mad anymore. Not when he heard that wonderful sound.

As they walked back to the castle hand in hand, he wished that this moment could go on forever. That they could lay under the stars together for all eternity, and not have to worry about anything else.

He wanted to forget everything. Forget his past, forget his state of being, forget everyone else. All he needed was to stay with her, the woman he loved more than anything else.

But if he needed to help her first, that’s what he would do. Anything to stop this dream from ending.

Anything to stop her from waking up and remembering what he was.

Chapter Text

The air hung heavy, almost making it difficult to breathe. It enveloped her even through the armour she wore, weighing her down. Barely any light made it through her helmet, her eyes needing time to adjust to the new environment. But it didn’t matter; there wasn’t much to see anyway. It was the same barren wasteland she had gotten all too familiar with.

She was back. Back in the Realm of Darkness.

As Aqua took in the dim surroundings, someone came up behind her. It wasn’t long before she felt a gentle palm on her back, its warmth even seeping through her armour.

“You okay?”

Vanitas’ voice was low behind her. She turned her head towards him a fraction, just enough so she could glance at him. He wore his dark suit once again, and she remembered how much it surprised her when she saw it that morning. She knew why he wore it; it was the same reason she wore her own armour right now. But the last time she saw him in it, things were very different for them. It was hard to shake off those memories, especially when they conflicted with what she knew of him now.

His helmet blocked any view of his face, exactly as it did long ago, but she didn’t need to see it to know what his expression was. That concern for her was all throughout his voice.

“I’m fine,” she told him, hoping it would be enough to reassure him. Hoping it would be enough to reassure herself.

She just had to breathe. Yes, this place was awful but there wasn’t anything to be afraid of anymore.

Not with him there with her.

It was funny. She had her friends there of course, and knowing they were there with her was such a great weight off her chest. She, Terra, and Ven had been a team for what felt like ages, and she would never change that. But when she added Vanitas to the bunch, suddenly it felt like she could do anything.

And that was a feeling she wanted to hold onto for as long as she could.

“Aqua.”

She turned to the sound of her name. Now it was Terra’s turn to speak. Vanitas’ hand moved away as he approached, and she almost wanted to pull it back. Only the fear of being teased by her friends stopped her.

Ven followed closely behind Terra, and both of them looking ready to dash into action at a moment’s notice. At least someone had managed to stay focused.

“If you need a break or anything,” Terra continued. “Just let us know. We don’t want you pushing yourself too hard.”

The concern was sweet, but it was starting to get a bit too stifling. She shook her head.

“Guys, I’m fine. Really. You don’t need to worry over me so much.”

She knew why they were. Part of it was even her fault. She knew how much they were there for her and she still felt the need to keep her struggles hidden. They just seemed so inconsequential in the grand scheme of things. So, she got nightmares. Who didn’t? It didn’t seem worth troubling them over, especially when there were much more important things to focus on. She could handle a few bad dreams.

At least that’s what she tried to tell them. But it seemed like nothing she said would ease their worry now. It was like that fight with Vanitas had shone a spotlight on everything she had deemed unimportant. Even after he left, much of the conversation was her trying to convince everyone that things were fine. She shuddered when she thought about how uncomfortable the whole thing must have been for Riku especially. He was a guest, and she hated the idea that he witnessed an argument like that. Over something so embarrassing.

But she was sure she managed to persuade him that he was doing the right thing in entrusting them with this task. She knew this realm better than any other wielder by this point. And nothing would stop her from trying to help Sora.

She only wished she could have spent more time talking with Riku. He was ready to leave as she made it back to the castle last night, and maybe that was a good thing. She was in no real state to entertain guests after all.

Not after…

Her face heated up. She was so glad she was wearing the helmet; she wouldn’t want to have to explain why she was blushing to the others.

Everything just happened so suddenly. Last night went in a way she had never expected. Nor did she expect to enjoy it so much. One moment she was enjoying what might be her last night under the stars in a while, and the next…

He was there. He was there and nothing could stop her heart hammering against her chest. It didn’t even stop after they parted ways, and it was a miracle she managed to get any sleep at all. She expected it would be anxiety keeping her up, not memories of his embrace.

Every touch, every kiss, everything he did just kept playing over and over in her head. It was a struggle to think of anything else. Every time she closed her eyes, she would see him smiling at her. She could almost feel him holding her.

But this wasn’t the time for that. She forced Vanitas out of her mind and turned to her friends again. This wasn’t the time for her to falter. She had to be a leader now, for everyone’s sake.

“Aqua…”

Terra spoke up again, but he seemed to lose what he was about to say. Maybe it was for the best. She didn’t want to have to argue with them again. Not now.

As her eyes swept over them all, they lingered over Vanitas almost unconsciously. He was staring in Terra’s direction, and she just knew there was a scowl under his helmet. Though he hadn’t insulted him yet, so she would take that as some sort of victory.

That was another thing. She would love it if Vanitas really started getting along with her friends. Of course, she didn’t expect them to be inseparable, but it would be nice if they could talk without hostility. And she hoped they could do it soon. Then she wouldn’t feel so caught in the middle.

It was hard. They all cared so much for her; she knew that. That’s why it killed her a little every time she saw them fight. But she had to remember that it wasn’t all to do with her. There was so much history between all of them, and when it came to Vanitas, a lot of it was bad. She only hoped that one day they could all put the past behind them and finally move on.

Speaking of Vanitas, he must have picked up that she was staring at him. His head was turned to her again, and she found herself really wishing she could see his face. But maybe it was better if she couldn’t. If she caught sight of it, she might just get caught up in a swirl of emotions again.

Just like the night before.

“Hey.”

The sound of his voice rushed through her. It was something she would never get tired of hearing. Especially the way he said her name. She could listen to that forever.

But now, she wondered if he knew what she was thinking. Did he have any idea how hard he was making it to concentrate? She was sure if he did, he would be telling her to focus. Probably would say something about how stupid she was being too.

And maybe she was being stupid. She thought she was better than this after all.

“I’m okay,” she told him. “But I’ll let you know if I’m not. I promise.”

He still watched her. She wondered if what she said had been enough to placate him. Somewhere along the line, he had gotten so good at reading her. The way he called her out yesterday was more than enough proof of that. It was almost scary how little she could keep hidden from him.

But there were some things he still struggled to pick up on. Anything involving him for instance. It was like even in his wildest dreams, he could never imagine her doing anything other than hate him. They had even kissed, and she still got the feeling that he thought it was a fluke. Like he expected her to wake up one day regretting it all.

She would have to show him just how important he was to her. The moment this was over, she would take him up on that offer to watch the stars, and then just maybe she’ll be able to put her feelings into words. Words that would convince him.

“We should get going,” she called out to everyone. “It’s dangerous to stay in one place too long.”

For now, there was a job to do. There would be time to think about this later. Each of her companions nodded their head, and before long the group was moving onward.

That’s all they had to do. So long as they kept going, so long as they stuck together, everything would be okay.

She blindly reached for the pouch she kept at her side. Inside was the device Riku brought them; the thing that would ensure their victory. It hadn’t seemed like much, but she knew the scientists over in Radiant Garden knew what they were doing. Hopefully it would give them the advantage they needed.

Her hand curled over it. She just needed to be ready with it. She couldn’t afford to falter.

Someone’s hand brushed against hers. She didn’t even need to look to know it was Vanitas. Her breath caught in her throat as she felt his fingers nudge at hers, easing them away from the device. When he weaved his fingers with hers, she knew that was his way of telling her to relax.

But it didn’t last long. His hand slipped out of hers before she could really start to enjoy it. He must have still been wary about doing this kind of thing around the others, and that was something she did understand.

So why did she feel so disappointed? That short contact made something in her leap, and some part of her was desperate to chase after it. It was getting so hard to push aside her feelings.

Would it be so bad to give in just for a moment?

As if her question was answered by some higher entity, the group paused as a Shadow appeared on the path in front of them. Aqua had barely gotten her weapon out before it was destroyed by someone’s fire spell.

Right. She needed to focus. She couldn’t afford to think about something so silly. Not now.

The group continued onward for a while, keeping an eye out for any other visitors. Aside from the occasional Heartless here and there, things were pretty quiet. It was almost eerie how still their surroundings where. A feeling of déjà vu started to overwhelm Aqua.

Hadn’t Vanitas said something about that Heartless devouring all the other ones in the area?

If that were the case, maybe it was a sign they were encroaching on its territory. It might even appear at any moment.

But that’s what they were there for. There were here to end this.

As they walked, it wasn’t long before they stumbled across a familiar looking rocky region. Aqua knew she couldn’t trust the geography around her, but she couldn’t shake off that feeling that she recognised the place.

This very well might have been the area they first saw Vanitas in. It felt like so long ago. Back then, he was so hostile, still ready to fight her. She remembered the loathing in his eyes as she talked to him.

Yet he still took her hand. He still accepted her help, even though she knew how much it damaged his pride. Now, she didn’t even want to think about what would have happened if he hadn’t accepted it.

She looked towards Vanitas again. He was busy gazing at their surroundings.

“Well, this takes me back,” he muttered. At least it wasn’t just her who recognised the place.

“Do you remember anything about how you got here?”

The question slipped out on its own, even though she was sure he already answered it. And it wasn’t like it mattered that much anyway.

Sure enough, he shook his head. “Nope, still don’t. All I remember is waking up and getting swarmed by Heartless. Really wasn’t a good time.”

At least he was admitting that much now. Back then, he was so desperate to convince her he had things under control. That pride of his was really too dangerous for his own good.

But it was really nice to see how much things had changed.

She smiled to herself. He wouldn’t be able to see it, but she was sure if he did, he would be smiling back with just as much affection. Even if he wanted to hide it.

Her hand brushed against his unconsciously. He jolted under her touch, but he didn’t pull away.

“Well,” she spoke. “I’m glad we got to you in time.”

When he turned his head to her once again, she was dying see his expression. But she liked to think she had a pretty good imagination.

His cheeks had probably reddened to the point where it stood out against his pale skin; something she found wasn’t too difficult to accomplish. His eyes would flit away from hers, however the few seconds she would catch them with her own would be enough to make warmth bloom in her chest. But it wouldn’t be long before he regained control of himself and gave her that sly grin of his. The one she kept seeing even in her dreams.

Her mind finally caught up with her, and she wanted to chastise herself. Now was not the time for that. As she pulled her hand away, she saw Ven walk up to the two of them.

“We’re glad we got to you too,” he told them. “Believe it or not.”

“Oh, shut up.”

Vanitas bristled almost as soon as Ven spoke. But his words no longer carried the same bite they once did. They still had a long way to go, but Aqua was happy to see that things were improving between them.

Maybe one day, he would be laughing along with all of them just like she did.

“Hey guys,” Terra spoke up, stepping past them. “Look over there.”

Aqua snapped to attention. She readied herself as she turned to where he was pointing, but soon the tension diminished. The only thing in that direction was a foreboding rock wall, with no Heartless anywhere. In hindsight, Terra wouldn’t have sounded so calm if there was any danger. As Aqua looked closer, she noticed a definite gap in the cliffside, easily big enough for a person to go through.

“Looks like a cave,” Terra continued. “Might be a good place to rest up for a bit.”

At the word ‘rest’, Aqua felt a protest rise up. But she held her tongue. They may have just started but Terra did have the right idea. It was like for a second she forgot just how rare time to rest was in this place. She knew that more than anyone. There was no reason they couldn’t be careful about this.

And besides, there were four of them now. Even if they were ambushed while resting, it was far less likely to go bad for them.

Maybe they could stop for a few minutes.

“Alright,” she said. “Just for a bit.”

She was sure she saw Vanitas nodding in approval. But it was subtle enough that no one else noticed.

Terra was the first to inspect the gap. Aqua waited by the entrance with bated breath, but it didn’t take long for him to signal them to come inside. After peering into the cave herself, Aqua was surprised to see just how roomy it was. The ground was littered with fallen rocks and boulders, but there was more than enough space for the four of them to sit comfortably.

However, there was one problem that she noticed once she was completely inside. No matter how spacious the cave was, they lacked a good view of outside. If something showed up or if fighting started, they could easily be trapped in there with no warning.

Just as Aqua was about to point out this issue, Ven spoke up.

“Hey, we might wanna take it in turns. Me and Terra can watch outside while you guys rest up.”

It was good that he noticed too. But she wasn’t too sure about the splitting up part.

“Oh?” said Aqua as she turned to him. “Are you sure you don’t want me to-”

A hand brushed against her back, stopping her from continuing.

“Great,” Vanitas said from behind her. “You two go watch outside while we take a break.”

It took a second for her mind to catch up with her. Even Ven seemed to pick up on it from the way he froze awkwardly.

That’s right. This would technically be the first time she and Vanitas would be alone since last night.

Would they even get a chance to talk? It’s not like they would be stopping for very long. What would they even talk about?

Or would they-

She stopped herself. This was all really affecting her focus way too much. Dammit, she was better than this.

Ven and Terra glanced at each other, and the sight of it made Aqua want to sink into the ground. She could only imagine what they must have thought of all this. Hopefully they didn’t think any less of her because of it. But soon enough, they just shrugged at each other and began heading for the cave entrance. They probably wouldn’t go far, but maybe just far enough so they wouldn’t have to hear what happened inside.

Enough. Stop that.

It was only when Aqua felt the hand leave her back that she realised it had been there the whole time. His touch was just so natural to her now.

Vanitas wandered away from her, before planting himself on one of the boulders nearby. Once seated, he looked up at her.

“Sit down somewhere,” he told her. “So long as those id- those guys do their job, there’ll be nothing to worry about.”

He was trying. It was so sweet that she couldn’t help but smile.

“And you’ll protect me too, won’t you?”

She had to ask. But she heard him scoff at that.

“You think you need it? Nothing gets by you.”

Aqua chuckled and went to sit down, picking a boulder a few feet away. The one he sat on was big enough for the two of them, but she wasn’t sure it was wise to sit so close right now. Not when they had to focus.

She sighed before reaching up and pulling off her helmet. It may have been better to keep it on while she was down there, but a few minutes surely couldn’t hurt.

As she worked her fingers through the clumps in her hair, she glanced up to see Vanitas staring at her. She could tell even through his helmet. Almost as though his gaze pierced right through it.

Her breath caught as he moved a hand up to his visor. The inky black surface began to melt away, revealing those golden eyes of his trained directly on her.

Not that long ago, those eyes were a source of fear. Now, her heart raced for a completely different reason.

She stared back at him, taking the time to study his face. Dark circles hung under his eyes, something she had long since acknowledged as a permanent fixture. His hair was messy as always, though she knew from personal experience it was far softer than it looked. His hand rested on his cheek, lazily holding him up as he gazed at her. It didn’t take long for her eyes to drift to his mouth. She was honestly shocked at how quickly that happened.

When he smirked at her, she felt her cheeks start to burn.

“What? Something on my face?”

He caught her. She spun her head away, just so he wouldn’t see the extent of her embarrassment. Even though it was probably way too late for that.

“N-no,” she got out. “It’s nothing.”

“You know that doesn’t work. Not anymore.”

He really caught her. Was she really that much of an open book to him?

After psyching herself up, she glanced at him once again. When she met his eyes, she nearly forgot how to breathe. There was just something so alluring about them. They pulled her in, nearly sweeping her away in a rush of emotion. It was starting to get way too intense to ignore.

She swallowed and remembered where they were.

“I’m fine,” she told him. “I promise.”

“I wasn’t gonna ask that. I know you wouldn’t tell me anyway. So damn stubborn.”

Her face flushed. Even when he said something like that, it still made her heart race. She really could not let him win so easily.

“You’re one to talk,” she muttered. “Do you know how hard it is to get you to change your mind on anything?”

“Dunno. But maybe you might be able to do it.”

He was still doing it. But those words left her feeling especially stunned. She didn’t think he would admit something like that so readily, but maybe it was just proof of how close they had become.

Something in her wondered what else he would tell her, especially alone like this. She may even let something of her own slip.

Being vulnerable like this was something she had never imagined. It was like something was on the verge of possessing her, making her want to tell him all her fears and dreams. The idea that it was possible now filled her with terror and anticipation all at once.

“I…” she began. “I still want to talk to you. About everything. But this really isn’t the place for it.”

“You might be right about that.” He grinned at her again. “Don’t wanna be having a heart to heart and get it interrupted by a Heartless.”

She shook her head. “It isn’t just that.”

“What? You’re worried they’ll hear?”

Aqua could have died then and there. She had almost forgotten that her friends are just outside.

She must have pulled some kind of face, seeing as Vanitas started laughing at her.

“Look, I wouldn’t worry about that,” he got out after letting the laughter die down. “I’m sure that’s a lost cause by now.”

“You really think so?”

“Yeah. I know I call them idiots, but they’re not stupid. I know for a fact that at least Ventus knows what’s going on.”

It wasn’t really something she wanted to think about. Finding out that Ventus also knew made things worse somehow. It was bad enough with Terra. He definitely knew something, especially after he caught her coming out of his room as flustered as she was. She had never felt so embarrassed as she did in that moment. It was just pure luck that he hadn’t outright asked her about it yet.

But she did think of a conversation they had a while back, before things had escalated so much.

Vanitas…You know he likes you, right?

She did know. She just couldn’t say how she felt about it at the time. Now…

“So,” she began. “You think there’s no point hiding it?”

He blinked at her. “Were you trying to hide it?”

That made her stop short. No, that wasn’t what she was doing.

Right?

“That’s… not what I meant,” she got out. “I just… I don’t know…”

No, she wasn’t trying to hide it. That wasn’t it. The truth was, she still wasn’t entirely sure what she would be trying to hide in the first place. Everything was still so new and uncertain, it almost felt like telling someone was jumping a few too many steps ahead.

She still didn’t even know what she should call all this. He made her heart beat like crazy. He haunted every one of her dreams. They’ve even kissed. Multiple times. To anyone looking in, it would seem obvious.

Maybe it was. But for Aqua, her mind was still a muddled mess. No matter how much she enjoyed his company, wanted to be around him, it was like part of her was still wary. He may have been right when he said she was scared. But could he blame her? Everything was moving way faster than she had ever anticipated, and she could barely even keep up. Was it any wonder that she didn’t know what she wanted anymore?

They still fought so much, something she couldn’t ignore. She was still healing from the time they barely even spoke. But those wounds almost felt deserved. She was the one who was supposed to have everything together. But her fears drove her to avoid him. She acted like a child and hurt him in the process. Did she even dare think of progressing whatever this was when something like that still hung over them?

When they got out of there, they would have to sit down and talk like real people. She was fairly sure she knew what he wanted, even if he had only barely started to admit it to himself. But the question was whether that was the right thing for them. Maybe they should try being actual friends first before things got too messy.

But as that thought crossed her mind, there was no mistaking the feeling of sadness that rose up within her. It seemed like her heart and mind were in conflict again.

She heard Vanitas stand up. She didn’t even need to look up to know he was coming over.

“Aqua…”

The way he said her name really wasn’t helping things. She didn’t even know when she turned away, but the moment she turned back, she was caught up in a whirlwind all over again.

Especially when she saw the sadness that had come over him too.

“I…” she swallowed. “I promise I wasn’t trying to hide it. It’s not like that, I just…”

“Relax. I get it.”

She could already see the pain he was trying to hide. That hurt more than anything else. She would have given anything to have him grin at her again.

“No!” Aqua stood up to meet him. “It isn’t… I just don’t know what I’m doing, that’s all.”

He scoffed at her again. She supposed it was some kind of improvement over the pain.

“What? You think I do?”

Maybe he had a point. They were both so new to all this. At least that gave them a chance to be on the same page.

“Listen,” she began. “I want to talk about this, but I don’t think we should do it right now.”

His lips pressed together as he took in her words. He had said the exact same thing earlier, hadn’t he? There shouldn’t really be any argument against it.

“Alright,” he muttered. “I guess there’s a time and place for all that stuff.”

And that time and place would come very soon if things went well. She smiled at him.

“Thank you,” she said. “I’m glad you’re here with me.”

Something flickered in his eyes as she said that. Strange, she thought he would know that by now. It still seemed like it surprised him.

Then his grin was back. His eyes burned into hers.

“Where else would I be?”

There it was again. That feeling. How had he managed to gain so much power over her? Even standing close like this, close enough to feel his warmth, she had to fight off the urge to fall into his arms. To let him hold her. To kiss him like she promised.

She thought back to last night. After the fight they had in the hall, she knew she might have to be the one to bite the bullet and go see him. She was determined not to come here without at least trying to resolve their issues.

But he came after her on his own. He found her by the cliff and pulled his blanket around her and chastised her about being in the cold again.

Picturing that, she could already feel her heart trying to leap out of her chest. She was pretty sure it skipped a beat back then too.

He must have sensed some of it. How could he not? She was milliseconds away from just throwing herself at him like an idiot.

And the longer she watched him smile at her, the harder it was to hold back.

“I mean it,” he spoke. “Like it or not, you’re not getting rid of me anytime soon.”

She didn’t know if she would ever be used to this. She didn’t know if she would ever get used to the way her heart raced when he was around. When he smiled at her like that.

He reached a hand up. When his gloved hand brushed against her cheek, she let out a breath with a shudder.

His touch was so gentle. But something in her screamed for more.

She wanted nothing more than to pull him closer. The jumble of words in her head were finally starting to fall into place.

“Van…” she breathed out. “I…”

“Aqua! Vanitas!”

Shouts from the entrance cut off whatever she was about to say. She stamped down her budding annoyance, knowing she had to ready herself for whatever was to come. Vanitas must have known it too, as his hand left her just as Terra and Ven came bounding though the cave entrance. From the way both of them doubled over once inside, she knew whatever it was, it was urgent.

Then Terra pulled his head up to face them.

“We found it,” he got out. “It’s close by, we gotta hurry!”

It was time. Time to end this.

“Okay,” said Aqua. She placed her helmet back over her head and caught Vanitas doing the same. Already she wished she could see his face again.

But it would have to wait. No matter how badly she wanted to continue their talk, it would have to wait.

She just needed to make sure she had the courage again.

When the group emerged from the cave, it didn’t take long at all for them to spot the Heartless. It wasn’t exactly hard to miss. Aqua barely held back the panic that started to form within her.

That… was a lot bigger than she remembered. Somehow in the time since they last saw it, it had grown to roughly the size of a building, easily shadowing everything around it. The vines it had before had grown even greater in number, gathering around it in one clumpy mass, each of them wiggling around like insects. There was no telling where the vines stopped and the Heartless began.

At least it didn’t seem to have noticed them yet. Or maybe it had but didn’t even consider them a threat. All it did was drag itself along the rocky ground, its vines feeling out around it as if in search for prey.

This was their chance.

“Come on!” Aqua yelled out to the others, summoning her weapon in the process.

They all summoned their own Keyblade before getting into their fighting stance. Aqua got into her own position a bit farther away and glanced at each of them. They had teamed up like this before, but Vanitas was still a relatively new addition. Some part of her worried he wouldn’t be able to fight in sync with them, but it seemed like all that worry was for nothing. No matter how much he grumbled during their group training sessions, he really was a fast learner. Even if he avoided their discussion yesterday, he already picked up what he needed to do. All that was left was wait for her signal.

As each of them took their stance around it, it finally started to notice them. It let out an awful screeching noise like a wild beast, but Aqua was ready for it. Before the monster could do anything else, she pulled out the device and activated it the way Riku showed her. She shoved it into the ground, small clamps emerging to pin it in place the moment it touched the rocky surface. A light flashed within and it let out nothing more a soft buzzing noise, but almost immediately, she could see the Heartless recoiling. Its vines writhed around it, and it seemed pained whenever it tried to extend them beyond its body. And that meant they could no longer extend underground. It had lost its main way to defend itself.

Once the device was in place, she started to run towards the creature.

“Go!” she shouted to the others.

That was the only thing they needed before jumping into action. She caught up to the group just as each of them pointed their weapons at the monster and cast their spell of choice. It screeched again as a barrage of fire and ice and lightning struck its centre, all while it was helpless to stop it. Aqua watched as its vines began to fade one by one, as if they were all sacrifices to protect the main body. They just had to wait for it to run out of them.

The moment a gap in its writhing armour appeared, Vanitas was the first to charge forward. He aimed a well-timed strike on its body, and Aqua could have sworn the Heartless roared in pain. As he struck it a second time, it made a sluggish attempt to bat him away, but someone like Vanitas could dodge that in his sleep.

It wasn’t long before she leapt forward to join in. She struck out at the part Vanitas just hit, and she could feel her Keyblade slicing through its flesh. Any tendrils that came too close were swiftly taken care of by one of pair. Neither one of them would let the Heartless touch the other, not so long as they were there. Dark smoke began to ooze from several of the severed vines as well as the body at the centre.

Already, Aqua felt relieved. It seemed like even something this big would go down eventually.

She heard laughter to the side of her. It was Vanitas, enthusiastically hacking away at the Heartless. He must have really been enjoying himself. Though, she supposed it was the first real fight he had since he came to their side.

Since he came to her.

Just the thought was enough to make her smile. Like she could enjoy herself too.

“It shouldn’t be much longer,” she heard Terra shout. Seemed like he and Ven had control of the other side. “One more push should do it!”

“Yeah!” Ven shouted. “Let’s do this!”

“Don’t have to tell me twice!” Vanitas shouted back.

They really were a team now. It was enough to nearly make her giddy.

She leapt away from the Heartless, wanting to aim a spell at it instead. As she did, something caught her eye and stopped her short.

It was the device. Even though it should have been small enough to not attract unwanted attention, there was a Neoshadow approaching it, almost curious. It crept up, its limbs swiping around it as if on guard.

If it disrupted the device…

Aqua sprinted towards it without wasting another second. She should have kept a better eye on it, but she had been too caught up in the battle alongside everyone. Alongside Vanitas. Even as she ran as fast as she could, that Neoshadow would get to it first. Cursing to herself, she shot a fire spell at the Heartless, hoping that would stop it.

But it was too late. The Neoshadow had already swiped at the device, knocking it over seconds before the fireball could even reach it.

The effect was instantaneous. She could feel the ground begin to shift, the shaking enough to make her tremble. It wouldn’t be long before that Heartless would regain control of itself.

She needed to get to that device, no matter what. She kept running, doing her best to ignore the rumbling ground underfoot.

“Watch out!” she screamed to the others. “The device was knocked over!”

She hoped they heard her. She couldn’t turn around. She just needed to get to it, to reactivate it. If she didn’t, that thing would be able to gain the upper hand again. And all her friends were right in the firing line.

“Aqua!”

Someone was shouting at her. It might have been all of them. But she couldn’t stop now. She had to keep going.

The ground shook as she ran. Cracks formed to either side of her. But the device was right there. Just a bit further.

“Aqua!”

She took another step. But she couldn't take another. Not after her foot started sinking into the earth. A crack had formed beneath her, large enough to stop her in her tracks. But there wasn’t even time to regain her footing.

A tendril poked up from the crack. Her heart seized up. Time stopped completely as she watched it emerge. Of course. That Heartless was way smarter than they thought it would be. She went to summon her barrier, but it was already too close for that to be effective. All she could do was raise her weapon and watch as the vine headed straight towards her, intending to pierce through her body.

Only it didn’t. She felt a brief flash of darkness before something pushed into her, shoving her out of the way.

Aqua tumbled to the ground. Her ankle seized painfully as she fell, and she was left to roll helplessly across the rock a few times before she finally stopped. She let out a grunt, but aside from the shooting pain in her foot, she knew she was otherwise unharmed. Without wasting any time, she went to pull herself up, needing to get back to the fight.

She glanced back to where she was in order to see what had pushed her.

Her heart stopped.

No…

She didn’t want to believe what she was seeing. She couldn’t. There was no way.

Standing right where she was not seconds ago was Vanitas. He was turned towards her, gazing down at where she fell. He too was frozen in place.

Frozen, with a vine impaling him right through the chest.

Aqua pulled herself upright. The pain in her foot was forgotten. She stepped towards him, already feeling herself shaking.

This… it couldn’t be real.

She reached a hand out towards him, and that seemed to snap him out of his trance.

He let out a gasping noise, one that tore right through her. She watched his Keyblade flash into his hand before he grabbed hold of the vine piercing him.

“Damn… you…”

His blade slashed clean through the vine. Just like all the others, it dissolved away into the darkness.

With nothing to hold him up, Vanitas crumpled to the ground.

“Van!”

Aqua’s shout must have rang through the entire area. But nothing else existed there for her. She dove towards him, barely managing to catch him as he fell.

She had barely gotten a grip on him when she felt the ground still shaking underneath. Crying out, she formed a barrier around the both of them.

Nothing would get to him. She wouldn't let it.

“Aqua…”

The moment he spoke, her eyes were to him. She could hear him trying to hold back his pain. Before she could say a thing to him, she watched him lift and arm and point it somewhere in front of them.

“The device…” he got out. “You need to…”

He was right. She had to activate it again. Her friends were still fighting.

But she refused to let go of him.

Not seeing another option, she cast a weak magnet spell to bring it to her hands. Doing that while holding the barrier up was starting to drain her, but she could handle it. She shoved the device in the ground next to them, this time determined not to let it get disturbed.

Thankfully, it didn’t take long for the shaking to stop. But she couldn’t relax.

She pulled Vanitas further into her lap, trying to at least make him comfortable. He let out a weak cough as she did, and she felt the sound tear into her again. Her hand moved to the edge of his helmet. If only she knew how to remove it.

There was a wound at his chest, but she couldn’t bring herself to look at it. She started casting any cure spell she could think of, hoping one would stick. It was a struggle to do it while keeping the barrier up, but she would manage.

Or she thought. No matter how many she cast, none of the spells seemed to be taking. Fresh panic started to sweep over her.

Why wasn’t it working? Had she used too much magic already? But that couldn’t be it. There was nothing wrong with the spells. She knew because she could already feel her ankle healing just from the proximity.

His breathing was growing more and more laboured. She bit down a cry as she heard it.

She couldn’t avoid it. She needed to see what she was dealing with.

Reluctantly, her eyes wandered to the wound.

Dark smoke appeared in the corner of her vision. It confused her for a moment. Perhaps the vine was still dissolving. It had been fairly large, maybe there were parts of it still underground.

It took her way too long to realise it was coming from him.

Her heart clenched.

“No, no!” she shouted. Her hands pressed at the wound in his chest, as if it would stop those tendrils escaping. But it was like trying to catch literal smoke.

Panic gripped at her chest, almost enough to suffocate her. It was all she could do not to start crying.

“Van!” she shouted his name. “Talk to me! Please!”

His hand rose up. She thought he was reaching for her, but he reached for his helmet instead. It evaporated away under his touch, letting her see his face once more.

She wasn’t ready for it. He was paler than before. Pain was etched into his features. But those eyes were still so intense, and they wouldn’t leave hers.

He shifted his hand towards where hers lay, at his chest.

“Don’t…” he got out. “It’s okay.”

“No!” she nearly screamed. “It’s not okay! You’re… you’re hurt, I have to help you!”

“It’s fine!” he nearly hissed. Whether that was from the pain or not, she didn’t know.

Her vision was fogging up. Where had the tears come from? She used a hand to pull her helmet away. The air stung at her eyes, and she rubbed at them with the back of her hand. When she glanced at him again, she saw his face soften.

“It’s okay,” he repeated. “There are worse ways to go you know.”

She shook her head. “No! Don’t talk like that! Just let me… Dammit! Why isn’t it working?”

There was no way she would give up. Even if her magic failed, there were options. She reached for her pouch and pulled out a Potion, before uncorking it and holding it to his lips.

But he didn’t try to take it. He kept his mouth shut, his eyes never leaving hers.

Her hand started to shake. Why, why wasn’t he taking it? Just as she went to yell at him again, his own hand started reaching for hers.

But he pushed the bottle away before she could get her hopes up.

It fell beside him, its contents leaking onto the ground.

“Aqua…”

“No!” she shouted again. “I don’t wanna hear it! You need to… you need to…”

A hand reached up to her face again. His palm rested along her cheek for a brief moment, before he swept a thumb under her eye.

When she looked at him, he chuckled weakly.

“Come on, what are these tears for? I thought you didn’t want me to see you like this.”

He could still smile. At a time like this. She gripped at his hand as it fell from her cheek, only to pull it to her lips.

“Just… shut up,” she murmured against him. “You have to-”

“Listen to me,” he got out. “I told you over and over how weak I was, right? That wasn’t for nothing. I was talking about my body.” He paused to take a shuddering breath. “To tell you the truth, I always knew I was only one bad hit from fading away.”

Fading… away?

“No!” she cried out, clutching his hand to her chest. “No, no, no, no! You can’t! I won’t let you!”

He was still smiling. But she could see the pain creeping in.

“I was already on borrowed time, you know. I… couldn’t live like this forever. Still incomplete.”

“What are you talking about?” she yelled at him. “Don’t say stuff like that!”

She heard running. That’s right, they were in the middle of a fight. She didn’t even know if the barrier was still up.

All she could say was she didn’t hear the Heartless anymore. Had Terra and Ven managed to defeat it?

“Aqua! Vanitas!”

Ven was yelling at them. She could hear two sets of footsteps come to a stop nearby. Terra must have been with him.

But she couldn’t look up at them. She couldn’t look away.

If she did…

She cried out, before placing her free hand over his chest and pouring all her magic in to one last cure spell. If this didn’t take, then what good was her magic? Even if she could never cast a spell again, she begged whoever was listening to allow her to do this much.

The drain was enough to make her feel light-headed.

“Aqua, stop.”

Someone was telling her to stop. But she couldn’t. She had to keep going.

“Aqua!”

Vanitas grabbed at the hand at his chest before tugging it away. She gaped down at him in surprise. She could tell he was struggling to even breathe now, why was he refusing help?

“I said… stop,” he spoke. “Don’t… waste your energy. It’s… too late for me.”

Fresh tears pooled under her eyes. His skin was sickly, greased from sweat. His eyes were tired, and she could see him struggling to keep them open.

And that black smoke. There was more of it. She wanted to wrench her hands free and press down on the wound to hold it in, but she was terrified he would just crumble beneath her if he did.

Her tears streamed down her cheek. There was no stopping them now.

Even falling to darkness hadn’t filled her with this much despair.

“This…” Aqua stopped, having to choke back a sob. “This is my fault.”

“No.”

Hearing Vanitas hiss that out brought her eyes to his. They bored right into her. She had never seen him look so serious.

“I… did this,” he spoke. “Not you. I’m the one who… didn’t listen.”

“What?”

He smiled at her again. But seeing how much of a struggle it was now only made her feel worse.

“You’re the one who told me… not to do that move again. Remember? Where I dissolve into darkness to catch you off guard. You’re right. It… did take a lot out of me.”

That move. It felt like so long ago when she last witnessed it. It used to be a staple of his attacks, but the last she saw of it, it left him little more than a crumpled mess on the ground.

Like now.

“Van-”

“But I had to get to you. Before that… could. I had to.”

Hearing his voice wrecked like that was too painful. She moved a hand to his face, to brush against his cheek. His eyes fluttered closed as she stroked the skin there. But just for a moment. Soon, they were looking back at her.

More and more smoke billowed out from him. Almost enough to obscure her vision.

Aqua watched as he opened his mouth.

“Don’t… cry. Not for me. I’m… not worth the pain.”

She wanted to scream.

How? After all this time, how?

Did he not get it? Did he not understand?

After all the time she had spent with him. All the time getting to know him. Getting to know how much he loved sweets, how childish he could be, how much he enjoyed her company.

He was stubborn to the point of it being ridiculous. He was so prideful that he refused to seek help. Yet he still somehow thought so lowly of himself. It was such a paradox and it never made any sense to her.

But he still opened up to her. And she opened up to him. He was probably one of the few people who told her what she needed to hear instead of what she wanted to hear. It was like she didn’t have to pretend things were okay around him. She could be herself around him. She could be vulnerable. It was unthinkable, but she wouldn’t have it any other way.

Yes, they fought. Yes, they disagreed. But they always came back to each other. Even if it took time, she would always come back to see that grin of his. To hear him tease her. Maybe she would even tease him back. Neither of them were perfect, but that was okay.

He was such a messy, beautiful person, and she loved him so much.

Why? Why did it take so long for her to realise?

Why? Why? Why?

“Don’t say that,” she got out. “It isn’t true. You’re worth so much to me. I…”

The words caught in her throat. All she could do was let out a sob.

No. Even now…

“It’s… okay,” he spoke. Even that seemed to be a struggle now. “I’m glad you… gave me a chance.”

He held a hand out to her again and she grabbed it without a second thought. But something was… wrong.

The hand didn’t feel solid.

Aqua could only gape in horror as she watched the dark tendrils increase. Up and up they went, completely shrouding her in the darkness.

At one point, she realised she didn’t feel his hand at all.

Not long after, the smoke finally stopped. Looking down, there was nothing.

Nothing.

Aqua stared at the spot for the longest time, praying her eyes were playing tricks on her.

But they weren’t.

He was…

With nothing else left to lose, Aqua wailed.

Chapter Text

The castle was quiet.

Ventus sat at the kitchen table alone, the silence beating against his eardrums. He should have been used to it by now. It should have been expected after everything that happened. No one was in a hurry to go back to how things were. No one was in a hurry to pretend things were normal. How could they?

He missed everyone so much. He missed seeing them around the castle, missed training with them, missed seeing them smile or laugh. But he knew he was part of the problem. He could see Terra or Aqua anytime he wanted. He just put in no effort to do so. Time rushed onward without him realising, and Ventus barely felt any drive to keep up with it. If it weren’t for Terra, he probably wouldn’t have spoken to anyone at all.

But that was it. Terra was the only one he had spoken to. Ever since returning from the Realm of Darkness, he had barely even seen Aqua at all.

He couldn’t blame her. Losing Vanitas like that was hard on everyone, but it definitely hit her the hardest. He could still hear her screaming. That sound thrashed around his head, more painful than he could have ever imagined.

Those events kept playing over and over in his head like a bad dream. Things had been going so well. They all had finally been fighting as a team, each and every one of them doing what they could to support each other. He could even feel the joy rising within Vanitas, as if he were thrilled to finally be given a challenge. Ventus was already thinking about how to tease him for it later.

Then something went wrong. While everyone was busy landing attacks on that Heartless, they heard Aqua yelling something about the device being knocked over. After that, everything happened all at once. The Heartless started to push back again, slowly regaining its strength. It thrashed around as if in anger, leaving Ventus to put up his guard again. A surge of panic rose within him, but he couldn’t tell whether it was his or not.

That panic peaked, forcing him to glance back. There, he saw Vanitas had acted before either of them could. Ventus could only watch as he charged for Aqua, as he morphed into darkness and phased into the ground, traversing the area in a blink of an eye.

Now he was sure the panic was his own. He could feel how much that strained him. It was enough that his own chest started to ache. Ventus wanted nothing more than to run over and help them, but the Heartless in front of him made that impossible. He couldn’t do a thing, not while its limbs were shifting like that again. It had to be dealt with first. They would be okay, he thought. They were always okay.

He had just blocked another attack when he felt it. A sharp pain in his chest so intense it almost made him keel over.

He gasped out, his hand rising to his chest on instinct, but there was nothing there. He wasn’t hurt. Nothing had come near him. But then he heard Aqua’s shouts, and the pieces fell into place.

But he couldn’t do anything. It was only thanks to Terra that he managed to keep going at all. His friend knew something was wrong immediately and dove in front of him to shield him while he got a hold of himself. But he wasn’t the one who was hurt. He shook off the pain long enough to fight back. They only had to dodge the Heartless for a few moments longer until the device was online again. And when the monster faltered, he knew that was their chance.  No matter how much his heart screamed at him to go help the others, he and Terra went on to deal the final blow to the Heartless.

Even so, this wasn’t a victory. Ventus would never forget what he saw next. He ran over as fast as he could, but he was too late. He could only watch as Aqua sat on the ground with tears streaking down her face, holding Vanitas as he faded away.

And once he was gone, the cry Aqua let out seared itself into his being.

Terra charged forward to console her. But Ventus only stood there, frozen in place.

That feeling. It was like his heart was being ripped apart all over again.

He barely even remembered going back to the Land of Departure. All Ventus knew was once they arrived, Terra took Aqua to her room, while he could do little more than stare out into nothing. He couldn’t speak. He couldn’t even cry. He just felt numb.

He felt empty.

It had taken a few days for things to start feeling real again. Or at least that was how long it took for him to start talking to Terra. He was sure his friend had tried, but he had been too out of it to respond. Then the guilt started eating away at him. When he tried to apologise, Terra wouldn’t hear a word of it. He had never blamed him for shutting down. In fact, he only ever tried to comfort him. He had always adored his friend, but Ventus had never felt more grateful to him than he did right now.

But he knew whatever misery he was feeling, it was nothing compared to Aqua.

When Ventus had recovered enough to walk around the castle, he found himself on the way to Aqua’s room without knowing it. He had no idea if she even wanted to speak to him, but he had to at least try. She hadn’t emerged at all since returning as far as he knew, and he wasn’t even sure if Terra managed to speak with her yet.

Her door was already open a crack. He didn’t want to disturb her. He should have knocked anyway, but instead he just pulled the door open a fraction more and peered inside.

He almost didn’t see her at first, but there was no mistaking the large shape bundled on the bed. She must have been sleeping. Ventus felt guilty doing it, but he found himself watching her. The room was bathed in darkness thanks to the shut curtains, so it took a moment to notice that she wasn’t under her covers. Instead, she was bundled in what looked like an extra blanket.

Ventus didn’t try to talk to her after that.

Training was completely forgotten about. Not that anyone was in the mood for it anyway. All Ventus did these days was wander the grounds and try to find ways to occupy himself. He hadn’t been too successful. He knew Terra would sometimes try to get him to do something to take his mind off things, but he always declined. Nothing felt right.

Maybe that was why he was in the kitchen alone right now, nudging his mug of coffee around on the table. It wasn’t something he normally went for, but it was manageable with the amount of sugar and milk he added. And besides, he wasn’t sleeping well again. He needed something to make him lucid.

It still wasn’t enough apparently. As he went to take a sip, he barely noticed when the door opened. It was only when Terra sat down in front of him that he realised someone even entered the room.

“Hey.”

Ventus looked up from his mug. Terra looked almost as sullen as he felt.

“Hey,” he said back. Even now, he didn’t have a lot of energy for talking. He lowered his head down again to take another sip. Still so bitter.

“Are you doing okay?”

Ventus tensed. He knew he was just worried, but it was like he couldn’t believe he was asking something like that. Shouldn’t he be able to tell just by looking at him?

He took a breath. There was no point getting upset.

“Yeah,” he got out. He hoped Terra wouldn’t press him more. Not when it was still so hard to talk about it.

He may have gotten his wish. Terra didn’t respond after that. Maybe he also didn’t know what to say. The stifling silence had returned, but Ventus couldn’t really bring himself to change that.

What would he even say? There was nothing that would make things better. Nothing could fix things.

The sound of a chair scraping on the floor was the only warning he had before Terra stood up and crossed to the other side of the table. Ventus had barely put his mug down when Terra crouched in front of him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Listen,” Terra began. “It’s okay to be upset about this. I know he hadn’t been here very long, but I could tell how much he meant to you.”

The weight of his hand was nice, but Ventus found himself wanting to shrug it away anyway. All this concern was just so misplaced. But all he managed to do was avoid his gaze.

“To me?” he asked. “I’m not the one who-”

“Yeah, I know,” he cut him off. “You didn’t get as attached to him as Aqua did. But that doesn’t mean you don’t get to grieve too. I know we’re both worried about Aqua, but I’m worried about you as well.”

Why? He was fine. He wasn’t the one who had it the worst. He may have felt like garbage right now, but it was nothing. Here he was feeling sorry for himself when he should have been trying to help Aqua.

But how? No matter how many times Ventus tried to knock on her door, he could never do it. He could never think of the right thing to say.

He was such a worthless friend.

The kitchen door opened. Ventus snapped his head up to see who it was and caught Terra doing the same. There was only one person it could be anymore.

Aqua stood there, peering through the door. Before Ventus could even open his mouth, Terra had already surged toward her.

“Aqua,” he said, pulling the door open for her. Ventus stood up as well, even if it was just to get a better look at her.

When he saw her, his heart clenched. Her hair was a mess, sticking out in odd angles and clumps. Her eyes were sunken in and red, either from crying or lack of sleep. Probably both. But he couldn’t see much else of her, not when she had that large blanket pulled around her. It took him too long to realise it was the same one that hadn’t left her side.

“Aqua,” Ventus spoke up. He hadn’t wanted to sound so sad, but it was too late to take it back. She glanced at him at the sound of her name but that was all the response he got. She still wasn’t ready to say anything.

“Hey, why don’t you sit down?” suggested Terra. He pulled out another chair for her and gestured toward it. “Why don’t you relax and let me get you something to eat.”

That’s right. Terra had been the one taking care of things. Ventus was sure he had been leaving trays of food for the both of them. That was probably for the best, as he wasn’t sure he would remember to eat otherwise. Those stopped for him once he started moving around again, but Aqua’s must have continued. Just thinking about it made Ventus want to hit himself. He hadn’t been paying enough attention. Was she even eating at all? All he knew was that he was sure this was the first time either of them had seen her outside her room in a week.

And Aqua still hadn’t responded to Terra. She just stood there, pulling the blanket tighter around herself.

“Thank you,” she spoke after a while. “But I’m not hungry.”

Hearing her voice brought a fresh wave of pain over Ventus. He didn’t remember ever hearing her sound so broken. Not ever. Scared, yes. But never so full of despair.

“Aqua,” Terra began, approaching her again. “You need to eat. You know he-”

Aqua’s head snapped towards Terra. Luckily, he stopped speaking the moment he realised his mistake.

“I know what, Terra?”

“I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just worried about you.”

“I’m fine.”

Those words hurt to hear. It was such an obvious lie. Was she just trying to convince herself? She had to have known they wouldn’t believe her.

“No, you’re not,” Terra continued. “And it’s okay if you’re not! We’re all here for you!”

“And I’m grateful for that, but I already told you I don’t need it. Just… leave me be.”

“Aqua-”

“Enough already!”

That shout rang through the room, but it hadn’t come from Aqua. Both her and Terra jolted before turning to the source.

Ventus glared at Aqua, tears threatening to spill from his eyes.

“You… you can’t do this!” Ventus got out. “Do you think he’d want to see you like this?”

“Ven!”

Terra was shouting at him. And he couldn’t blame him. He knew he shouldn’t have said something like that. But he couldn’t stop.

He sensed Terra was about to charge towards him, but one glance made him stop in his tracks. Seeing the look on his face must have made him falter. When Ventus was sure he wasn’t going to interrupt, he turned back to Aqua.

“I know it hurts, what happened,” he continued. His words were harder to get out than they should have been. “But you know him just as well as I do. He wouldn’t want us here sulking over him! He’d… he’d want us to…”

His voice wavered the more he tried to push the words out. Ventus wanted to go on, but the words were getting stuck in his throat. The tears streaming down his face weren’t helping either.

He heard sobbing. It wasn’t him. He pulled his head up to look at Aqua. She stood there, her face overtaken by pain, tears flowing down her cheeks in a steady stream.

Just seeing that was like cracking open a dam. Ventus dove towards Aqua, catching her in his arms as she collapsed. She gripped onto him, and he could already feel her starting to sob into his shoulder. But it wasn’t like he was faring any better, not while he was whimpering against her like that. As the two of them sank onto the ground, Terra ran up behind them and pulled them both into his arms. There, the three of them sat on the kitchen floor for what felt like the longest time, and only the sounds of sobbing could be heard.

The last time they all cried like this, it must have been when their Master left them again. Maybe just like last time, they would be okay.

Because they all had each other.

“If…” Aqua mumbled into Ventus’ shoulder. “If I hadn’t insisted on going, then-”

“Don’t.” Ventus interrupted before she could say any more. He pulled his head away from them enough to look at her. “It was not your fault. Don’t think like that.”

“Ven’s right,” Terra spoke up. Ventus could tell by his voice that he had been crying too. “Things had been going well, you know. There’s no way any of us could have seen it coming.”

“But…” Aqua got out. “It’s like he still thought he had to prove himself. He was just so ready to… to jump in front of…”

“That’s not why he did it.”

Aqua turned to Ventus completely now. Once he had her full attention, he did his best to smile at her.

“He loved you, you know that right? That’s why he did what he did.”

Moments after he said that, fresh tears fell from her eyes. Ventus almost wanted to apologise for making her cry again, but then she pulled away a little, just enough to wipe her tears away with her hand.

“I… I know…” she murmured. “I loved him too.”

Hearing that, Ventus felt something within him tense. It was strange. Hearing her say something like that shouldn’t have felt so unexpected. Deep down, Ventus had already known. He knew it all along. He had been here the whole time after all, watching as the two of them slowly grew closer. There was no way he could mistake what Vanitas had felt, not when every little spark of emotion he had bombarded him the way it did. It made things awkward for sure, but he could put that aside if he could be happy.

It was also hard to ignore how much Aqua adored him. Ventus couldn’t remember ever seeing his friend like that. She would talk about him constantly, would praise his growth to whoever listened. Maybe some might think that was the talk of a proud Master and friend, but Ventus always felt there was something more to it. That time after they had a big fight was a good indication. There was no way to ignore just how down Aqua had been back then.

And when they were getting along, that’s just when it became more obvious. He would never forget that morning the day before they left, where he had caught Aqua red-faced more often than not. It was clear how much he had meant to her, and Ventus was certain he wasn’t the only one that saw it.

So why did hearing her say that now surprise him so much?

Luckily, Terra spoke up before he had to.

“And that’s why we have to keep going,” he said. “I know Ven tried saying it before, but it’s true. He wouldn’t want you to be like this.”

Aqua turned away from them. “I… I know that. But how do I… how do I…”

“I know it’s hard. We’re not expecting you to be like your old self right away. It’ll take time, but I know he’d want us to move on. Isn’t that right, Ven?”

Ventus jolted when he realised he was being addressed.

“R-right.”

Terra was right. Ventus was sure that if Vanitas saw them now, he would laugh over how stupid they were all being. He might even get annoyed at it. Because he didn’t think he was worth crying over.

Maybe that was the saddest part about all of this.

He heard Aqua take a breath, like she was finally starting to gather herself. She then pulled away from the others and stood upright, pulling the blanket around herself. Ventus and Terra soon joined her.

“I’m… really sorry about all this,” she spoke up. “I’ve been neglecting things lately, haven’t I?”

“Don’t worry about that,” Terra told her. He reached up to place his hands on her shoulders. “Me and Ven have things under control.”

Ventus saw the guilt on her face. How could they convince her it was okay?

“It’s just…” she began. “I was supposed to report to the other Masters when we returned.”

“Already taken care of,” said Terra. “I told them you were still recovering.”

“But I wasn’t injured.”

“You were,” he told her. “Your heart was injured. I think that counts.”

Aqua spun her head away again, the embarrassment already creeping up on her face. “I really hope you didn’t tell them that.”

Terra chuckled. “Relax, I didn’t get into the specifics. But they’re all happy to wait until you’re ready to talk to them.”

“Yeah,” Ventus added. “Take as long as you need. And if you’re worried about the search, everyone else has got that covered.”

She didn’t need to worry about that now. All she needed to do now was rest and recover. The others could handle everything.

Aqua glanced at Ventus once again. There was so much guilt on her face and it killed him to see. He couldn’t help but wonder if she would ever go back to how she was before. If she would ever smile again.

No, she had to. This was Aqua. She was one of the strongest people he knew. It may take time, but she could recover. She had to.

Until then, he was determined to be there for her. It was all he could do.

***

***

Ventus hadn’t been sleeping well recently. Not that it was anything new. The insomnia had run rampant ever since he woke up, and if anything, it had only gotten worse. He was lucky he managed to hide it as well as he did.

Could anyone blame him? Every time he shut his eyes, it was like part of him was terrified he would wake up years later again. Sometimes he would jolt awake the moment he drifted off, like his body was protecting him from it.

But he hadn’t been alone in this. He was far too aware that just about every time he woke in the middle of the night, Vanitas was awake too. He was even sure that Vanitas jolting awake was what woke him sometimes.

It was strange waking up now and feeling nothing.

He tried not to think about it too much. Nothing good would come of it.

Putting it aside, he made his way to the kitchen one morning. He had to hold back his surprise when he saw who was there already.

It was Aqua. She stood over by the window unmoving, as if she were captivated by the view outside. Ventus could tell she hadn’t noticed him yet. That despair was still draped over her like a cloak, but it was nice to see her out and about at least.

It was only once he stepped inside that she turned around to face him. Those dark circles under her eyes mirrored his own. Maybe no one in this castle slept anymore.

Even so, she still greeted him, the same way she always did. Just from hearing it, maybe he could pretend things were almost normal again.

They even planned to train that day for the first time since returning. The first day in weeks. Ventus could feel his muscles already wasting away from inactivity, so this would be a good chance to really get things back to how they were.

It even started off normally too. He paired off with Terra while Aqua watched and did her best to referee. She was trying. They were all trying. Ventus knew his form was sloppier than it had been in a while, but he still fought as hard as he normally would.

Ventus struck out at Terra’s side with his Keyblade, but he managed to parry it. The clang of their weapons wasn’t as intense as it should have been. He could tell Terra wasn’t going all out, maybe he thought Ventus still needed some time to recover. But that wasn’t the unusual part.

“Come on, keep going! You almost had him!”

Ventus turned to the sound of her voice. He dropped his Keyblade. His opponent was forgotten.

Everything was forgotten when he saw her smile.

It was the first time he had seen it in weeks. That had to be it. That had to be the explanation.

That’s why his heart jumped at the sight of it.

It shouldn’t be that unusual. Ventus was more than glad to see her smiling. But it was like he couldn’t pull his eyes away.

That expression didn’t last. Her face began to fall the longer he stared at her. Why? She had just been smiling. Did something happen? Was something wrong?

“Hey…” she began. “Are you… okay?”

It was astonishing how quickly worry replaced that smile. It was the first time he had seen any sign of happiness in ages, and he ruined it.

The guilt bore into him. He couldn’t look at her anymore. He had to look away.

Even as he did just that, he knew that wouldn’t help things. He had to convince her things were okay. He couldn’t fall apart now of all times, how pathetic was that?

So, he forced his head up and beamed at her.

“I’m fine, Aqua,” he told her. “It’s just nice to see you smiling again.”

There was nothing wrong with what he said, right? It was just like something he would normally say. Sure, he hadn’t expected her to start smiling again right away, but it was weird to see her so taken aback by his reaction.

Maybe he did mess up and didn’t realise. What kind of friend was he?

His chest ached again. His own smile faltered.

What was he supposed to do? Could he even do anything right anymore?

He could feel his vision growing blurry.

“Ven…”

Terra was calling out to him. Couldn’t he see he was fine? Did he have to stick his nose in-

He stopped himself. No. That wasn’t right. He shouldn’t be feeling this way. Terra was his friend. He was just worried about him. Just like they were both worried about Aqua. The person they should have been focusing on instead of him.

“Ven?”

Aqua was calling for him now. He could hear her voice crack, like she was on the brink of tears again. Just that sound made the pain worse.

But he was fine. There was no need for them to worry over him. He was fine.

He was…

Ventus turned and ran from the room. Both of his friends shouted after him, but he couldn’t turn around. He couldn’t let them see him crying.

But why was he crying? What was wrong with him? After how badly he wanted things to get back to normal, he didn’t have time to break down like this. If he didn’t want his friends to worry about him, this was not a great way to go about it.

Besides, Aqua was the one who needed the worry. She’s the one who ma…

Ventus stopped against the wall of the hallway. His head started to swim.

She’s the one who… what?

He rubbed at his face, hoping it would help. But his mind was still a mess.

Something was seriously wrong with him. Was this the grief finally catching up with him like Terra said it would? He did say something about it always showing itself at the most unexpected time.

But that didn’t feel right. It would be one thing if he had been thinking about Vanitas, or even if he had been reminded of him somehow. But he hadn’t been thinking about him at all. All he had been thinking about was…

He shook his head. No, he was overthinking things. He was just tired. Exhausted even. They all were, especially after everything they had just been through. But maybe he just needed a bit more time to recover than he thought he did.

That didn’t mean he shouldn’t try his hardest to fix things. With that thought in mind, he took a breath and turned back towards the main hall. As much as he wanted to hide away, that wouldn’t help anyone. He had some time to calm down at least, and that would have to be enough for now.

Besides, they hadn’t finished training. He could at least do that much. If not for his sake, then for hers.

He had to pretend things were okay.

***

Ventus opened his eyes to a black void.

He couldn’t even remember falling asleep, but it seemed like every time he managed to drift off lately, he would end up in this place. There was nothing around him. Nothing to see. Nothing to feel. Maybe he should have felt more panicked, but the surrounding air was almost soothing. It almost wasn’t like air at all, more like a warm bath. It cradled around him like a blanket, easing his mind of worry.

…

…re…  

He almost hadn’t heard it. But there was definitely a sound just then. It was muffled and faint as if his ears were filled with fluid, and it vanished almost as soon as it came. Only the faint sound of his heartbeat remained.

***

Even more weeks passed, and Ventus watched as the castle almost returned to normal. He could have said it was almost like nothing happened, but that wasn’t true. Every so often, there would be another reminder. Whether it was as simple as walking past his untouched room or watching Aqua still trying to set his place at the table, there were reminders.

The training schedule more or less returned to what it once was. After that little hiccup at the start, he could tell his friends were being more cautious around him. It was really unnecessary. He had told them more times than he could count that he was fine, and yet they never seemed to believe him.

And he was fine. Sleep may have been evading him more often than not, but it was nothing to worry about. Nothing he hadn’t dealt with before.

Besides, he was too busy worrying about Aqua to be concerned for himself. Yes, she was eating again. Yes, she was talking with them again. Smiling with them again. But those moments were fragmented. Every time she thought she was alone, Ventus could see the deep cracks grief left on her heart. It was hard to ignore, no matter how hard she tried to push through it and be strong for their sake. It was admirable in a way, but Ventus couldn’t help but wonder just how long she would be able to do it.

And then there was the other concern. She had been acting strange around Ventus in particular. He still wasn’t really sure why. He could make guesses. Maybe she still felt responsible for what happened. Maybe she worried he resented her because of it. But that was ridiculous. It was not her fault and even if it was, he would not hold it over her. Because she was his friend.

He could speculate all he wanted, but it always felt like there was more to it. That wasn’t helped by the fact that he caught her staring at him every so often. She would turn away before he ever got a chance to remark on it, but it happened enough times to make him worry.

He couldn’t shake the feeling he had that whenever she looked at his face, she wanted to see someone else instead. It was awful to think about, but he couldn’t really blame her. He wasn’t even sure she was aware of what she was doing.

One morning as they ate breakfast, he thought this might finally be a chance for him to say something. He didn’t know what exactly, but maybe they could at least acknowledge it. Terra had yet to join them, so it was as good a chance as any.

Ventus looked up from his bowl and sure enough, Aqua was staring right at him. She jolted when she realised she was caught, and quickly turned back to her own bowl.

This would go nowhere unless he said something.

“Hey, Aqua?”

She jolted again. Ventus almost felt bad, but it was strange seeing her so on edge.

“Hey…” he continued. “Is everything okay?”

As soon as he asked the question, she pulled her head up again. He could see the ghost of a smile on her face.

“I’m okay, Ven,” she spoke. “Just… haven’t been sleeping well.”

“Ah, so I’m not the only one.”

She almost broke into a real smile for a second, but it vanished almost as soon as it appeared. Just the sight made his heart ache. It would be a very long time before she was back to her old self. If that even happened at all.

He opened his mouth to say something else, maybe to reassure her, but then Terra chose that moment to enter the room. Ventus swivelled around to face him, already feeling annoyed at having their conversation-

He stopped. There he went again.

That was another thing. He had been way more on edge than usual. He managed to catch it most of the time, but he found himself holding back biting remarks at his friends more often than not.

Or friend. He didn’t get that way around Aqua. Only Terra.

“Good morning,” Terra spoke as he approached the table. He glanced at Aqua, who only smiled and gave a small wave as response. If anything, she even seemed relieved to see him, and that stung a bit.

It wasn’t long before he turned his gaze toward Ventus, and he had barely managed to smile in time.

“Hey, Ven? Do you mind if I talk to you for a second?”

Ventus fought down that mess of unpleasant feelings welling within him. He could already tell something was wrong. But that feeling he had wasn’t just dread over whatever he wanted to talk about. It was something else. Something closer to contempt.

No, he had to calm down. Terra was his friend. His best friend. There was no reason to be upset with him.

“Yeah, sure.”

It would be best to go and see what he had to say. He stood from his chair and immediately felt Aqua’s gaze on him once more. Leaving her like this didn’t make him feel any better, so he turned to her with a smile.

“I’m sure this won’t take long. We’ll be back soon, okay?”

Thankfully, his reassurance seemed to work, even just a little bit. He watched as she smiled back at him.

“Sure. Take your time.”

“It’ll just be a minute, I promise,” Terra spoke up. “I know I wouldn’t wanna make Ven miss out on his breakfast.”

Terra jostled his hair and Ventus had to bite down that feeling once again. It was fine.

He tugged his hand away soon after, and Ventus hated the relief he felt. He only hoped Terra hadn’t noticed.

But there wasn’t any more time to waste. As Terra left the room, Ventus followed closely after. The entire time, he just remembered to breathe, determined not to get upset again. But as he kept thinking about what Terra might want to talk to him about, it was hard to hold back that anxious feeling.

Terra led him through the main hall and out into the courtyard. Ventus had to blink away the sudden sunlight streaming into his eyes, but Terra seemed unbothered by it. He kept going, leaving Ventus to wonder why they had to go all the way out here. As his eyes finally adjusted, he saw that Terra had finally turned towards him again once he hit the courtyard wall. Only he wasn’t facing him.

“Hey, so,” he began, rubbing the back of his head. “I wanted to run something by you. It’s just an idea I had.”

That apprehension started to scare him. Ventus had no clue what was leaving him so nervous.

“What is it?”

Maybe he finally gathered the nerve. He glanced up at Ventus, the sadness in his eyes clear to see.

“I was thinking we should make a grave. For Vanitas.”

Oh.

Right. That made sense.

It had been weeks since they lost him. And yet, they still hadn’t had a proper goodbye. It was something that hung over the group like a looming cloud, something no one really wanted to acknowledge. Maybe they should have considered doing something like this already, but it was hard to imagine doing it any sooner. Things had been so frantic since their return. Aqua had only just started following her routine again.

Aqua…

“She’s… not gonna like it,” Ventus spoke up after a moment. “It might feel final, you know?”

Terra let out a sigh. “I know. But I think it’ll be good. Healthy even. Might be a good step toward moving on.”

“Yeah, but,” Ventus continued. “What would we even do for it? He didn’t leave anything behind when he… when he left. Not even his Keyblade.”

Terra placed his hands on his shoulders. That gesture normally would have comforted him, but the turmoil within him was too much.

“We’ll think of something. We can make a monument if we need to, but that really isn’t the point. I just think it might be nice to have somewhere to go whenever someone’s thinking about him.”

Ventus looked up at him. “You mean Aqua?”

“I mean you too. This isn’t just for Aqua.”

That made something in him jolt. “Me?”

“Yeah.” He finally pulled his hands away and stepped back enough so he could look at him. “I know this is all still hard on you too. Even if you try to pretend it’s not.”

Ventus didn’t know how to respond to that. Something in him wanted to dispute it, but it didn’t feel right to do that.

Because it’s not like Terra was lying. Losing Vanitas was like losing a part of himself, there was no arguing about that. Despite how difficult he could be to get along with, especially at the start, he really had been growing on them. He was becoming a part of their family, whether he accepted it or not. And now that was gone.

Of course he was sad about losing him, but Ventus wasn’t the one who cried endlessly over it. He wasn’t the one who screamed out as he died.

No, he had to be strong for the person who did.

“But Terra,” he began. “I’m okay, I promise. You don’t have to worry about me. There are more important things to worry about than me, right?”

Terra crossed his arms. “And what exactly do you mean by that? You’re important too, you know.”

“I-I know. That isn’t what I meant.”

“Good. Because you are important. And I want you to remember that. We already had someone who didn’t see their worth and look what happened.”

Ventus stiffened. He knew exactly who he was talking about.

“It’s… not the same.”

“You sure? Because all this self-pity is starting to feel really familiar. I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, but what you said before, it just really sounded like something he would say.”

Ventus should have brushed it off. The comment wasn’t the greatest, but Terra meant no harm by it. But something about it tugged at him.

He reminded him of Vanitas.

The comparison stung a little. The two of them were just so different. They may have been the same person once, but that was a long time ago. Ventus was always the friendly, upbeat one, while Vanitas liked to wallow in misery, and would take anyone else down with him if he could. It was one of the reasons they barely even got along.

And now, it’s almost like they swapped roles. With the sorrow Ventus felt now, it was almost like he was still here. Like Ventus could still sense his every emotion. And Vanitas had so many of them. Without the Unversed as an outlet, it was like he didn’t know how to deal with them, and they bled through their connection without end.

Ventus had felt all of it. Every self-deprecating thought, every brief moment of happiness, he felt all of them. There were even times where his anger, or his frustration were so potent that it was almost like they belonged to Ventus himself. Maybe that’s the reason he was so invested in trying to fix things for him.

But Vanitas was gone now. Even though Ventus had felt anger and frustration more powerful than he had felt in a long time, he believed that was just the grief manifesting in that way. All these confused and saddened feelings could be explained by that loss. But was that really all it was?

What if it was something more?

“Hey, Ven?”

When Terra spoke up, he almost didn’t hear him. He looked up at his friend, just in time to that concern. There was guilt too.

“Sorry,” he spoke. “I probably shouldn’t have said something like that.”

Ventus shook his head. “No, it’s fine. I was just thinking.”

“About what?”

Where to even begin? A thought in particular had planted itself in his mind, and he could feel its roots starting to spread out. But he couldn’t think any more on it right now. Not if there was any chance he could be wrong.

“I… can’t say it.”

He wondered if Terra was starting to catch on. There wasn’t a lot he could hide from him anymore. Even now, it seemed like he understood.

“Got it,” he spoke. “But you know you can talk to me about anything, right?”

Ventus could have cried. Where had Terra gotten all this patience from? He shouldn’t have been so shaken up by this, but he was.

If there was one thing he knew for certain, it was that he would never be able to deal with this without him. He only hoped Terra knew just how much he appreciated him.

As much as he wanted to rely on him some more, this was something he had to figure out on his own. So he smiled at him.

“I know,” he said. “But I can’t just yet. I’ll tell you when I’m ready.”

Who knows if he ever would be. He was just happy to know that he had a friend at his side no matter what.

And he might need that now more than ever.

***

Ventus awoke in that black void again. It was starting to become a running theme. He never dreamt of anything else now, only this place.

But this time, something felt different. Almost like he was more aware. He wiggled his fingers as a test. Even though it felt like they were wading through tar, they moved. He tried to turn his head next, just to get a better look around. The space around him was thick, like he had been submerged deep within the ocean. Yet he wasn't screaming for air. It was like he didn’t need to breathe at all.

He turned his head downward and nearly gasped when he saw the round platform beneath him. It was one he would recognise anywhere.

This was his heart.

Without wasting any time, he pulled himself toward it, almost like he was swimming. He only stopped once his feet touched the glass. He blinked as his eyes adjusted to the bright green of the platform. An image of himself took up most of it, his eyes open and staring at the space next to him. The faces of Terra and Aqua sat in small frames next to his head, both of them smiling.

But something was missing. One of the frames was noticeably empty, like the image within had been scratched out.

He didn’t know how, but he knew Vanitas was supposed to be there.

Once, he had even shared an equal space beside him on the platform. While Ventus didn’t want to fuse with him, then or now, his absence made something ache. Maybe this was a sign he was gone for good.

Gone, with not even his image remaining in his heart. Like he had been erased. That was the saddest part.

Ventus pulled himself away and wandered to the edge of the platform. He peered out into the darkness. There was nothing to see as he expected. His heart was the only thing worthy of attention.

…ey…

Ventus spun around at the sound of the voice. His eyes swept the entire space, but there was no one else on the platform.

That voice. It was the same one from before. All muffled and nearly indiscernible.

But it was there. There was no doubt about it.

Ventus placed his hands around his mouth and shouted.

“Vanitas! Are you there?  

His own voice echoed throughout the void. But there was no response.

***

The days passed and Ventus had more and more dreams like that. Each time, he would hear some voice calling to him. He could never make out what they were saying or where the voice was even coming from. And every time he tried to investigate, he woke up before he could get very far. It was beyond frustrating to deal with.

But the cracks were filling in. The more and more dreams he had, the more and more he was certain.

Some part of Vanitas had remained within him.

It would explain a few things. All that irritation he had been feeling. All those erratic emotions. Maybe he had something to do with it.

Even if it was likely to be true, he couldn’t be sure. That’s what mattered. And that’s why he couldn’t say a word. If it turned out he was hallucinating all this, then he would have gotten his friends’ hopes up for nothing.

He would have gotten Aqua’s hopes up for nothing.

Ventus sighed as he felt the cool morning air biting at him. It was probably too early to be in the courtyard, but it wasn’t like he would get any more sleep. At least it let him think.

If only he could actually talk to that voice. If only he could figure out where it was coming from, then maybe he would have an idea of what to do.

And if Vanitas truly was trapped somewhere within him, it would be cruel to keep him there. He deserved to live his own life just as much as anyone else.

One thing gave him hope that it might be possible. The voice was getting clearer each time he heard it. It wasn’t by a lot, but it was still something. Maybe it was only a matter of time.

That had been another worry of his. What if whatever part of Vanitas that remained was too broken and fragmented to help? That would be the worst fate he could think of.

“Ven?”

Ventus jumped up at the sound of Aqua’s voice. He swivelled around to face her, his hand flying to his chest as he tried to catch his breath.

“Woah!” he got out. “You scared me.”

She frowned at his reaction. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to.”

As Ventus calmed himself down, he took the time to look over her properly. Her hair was combed, and her face looked like it had started to see sunlight again. She seemed far better than she had been. He wouldn’t say she was well rested, but there was definitely an improvement to before. If he had forgotten what happened, he may have even believed she was back to normal.

Except the sadness in her eyes had yet to diminish. She could put on a brave face all she wanted, but it was clear how much it was all still affecting her. And he wasn’t surprised. Something like that, losing someone so important, would take a very long time to get over.

Even if she should have done it already.

He jolted as the thought entered his mind. Disgust welled up within him. That thought was beyond intrusive, and he was shocked by how cruel it sounded. It couldn’t have come from him.

So was it…?

“Hey, Ven? Are you okay?”

When Aqua spoke up, he was grateful that it helped interrupt his thoughts. But then he had to hear her worry.

“I’m fine, Aqua.” He smiled at her. “It’s just nice to see you out here.”

It was like those words bothered her somehow. Almost like the guilt was still eating her.

“I’m sorry,” she spoke. “I haven’t really been checking in on you as much as I should have.”

She didn’t need be concerned with that. She was the one in pain.

Ventus shook his head. “Don’t worry about that. It’s okay if you needed some time to yourself.”

Now it was her turn to shake her head. He could already sense her frustration, but he knew it was aimed towards herself.

“That doesn’t mean I shouldn’t have been there for you,” she spoke. “I… wasn’t the only one who was hurting. I know how close you two had been getting, even if he didn’t want to admit it. You really had started getting along in a way.”

That may have been true. That hostility had been dwindling more and more as time passed. But that didn’t mean anything.

“Maybe so, but you were definitely hurt a lot more than me.”

“Stop.”

The firmness in her voice made him freeze up. She gazed at him with an expression more serious than he had seen in ages. Then she opened her mouth to continue.

“This isn’t a contest. I don’t want to hear about who had it worse or who misses him more, that doesn’t matter.” She took a moment to pause, like she needed to steady herself. “We were all hurt by it, and we should have all been there for each other.”

She was right. He should have been there for her. But he knew that wasn’t all she meant. They all needed each other if they were going to get through this.

“Sorry,” he spoke, doing his best to smile at her. “You’re right. We’ll be okay so long as we can rely on each other.”

He wasn’t ready for her to smile back at him. A wave of elation crashed into him, strong enough to surprise him. It was a nice feeling, but something was off. Something wrong. He bit that emotion down before speaking to Aqua again.

“But you know, you were definitely the one closest to him.”

“Ven-”

“It’s true!” He cut her off before she could try to argue. “I mean, I know for a fact that neither Terra or me kissed him.”

He probably shouldn’t have said something like that. Aqua’s face flared in alarm.

“You know about that?”

Wait, did he? All he knew was the night before Riku came, he felt a surge of affection from Vanitas the likes of which he hadn’t felt before. Seeing how friendly they were the next morning just confirmed something happened, but he couldn’t be certain it was a kiss. And he didn’t even want to think about what he felt from him the night before they left. It was funny. Back then, he was worried he might have to talk to him about reining it in a little, just so he wouldn’t have to sense things he had no business sensing. But now, he would have dealt with all of that if it meant he could still be here.

Still, it was quite a guess he made.

“Uh…” Ventus began, scratching the back of his head. “He might have let something slip.”

He could have been imagining it, but Aqua almost seemed disappointed.

“I see,” she spoke, keeping her eyes down. “Well, you’re right. We were close like that. Maybe it could have become something more, but there’s no point thinking about it now.”

That sadness had returned. He would have done anything to get rid of it.

“I wouldn’t say that,” he spoke. “There’s nothing wrong with thinking about stuff like that. It just shouldn’t consume you.”

“Maybe I’m not ready for that,” she muttered. She wrapped her arms around herself. “Terra told me you guys were thinking of planning a funeral. That’s something we should do, right?”

Ventus wasn’t sure when her voice started cracking, but it was hard to ignore. He was sure if he could see her face, he would already see tears.

He stepped towards her and placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Only if you’re okay with it.”

“But that’s just it,” she choked out. She refused to look at him. “I’m not okay. I don’t know if I ever will be. Not when I feel so responsible. But I can’t keep putting it off. I have to let him go.”

No. The urge to say that word rose up, but he pushed it down. It wouldn’t help anything.

“Aqua, listen,” he spoke. “You aren’t to blame for what happened. Please believe me.”

Her hand was over her mouth. He could hear her holding back sobs.

“I can’t.”

“You have to!” He surged forward and gripped at her other shoulder. She looked up at him in surprise, tears glistening on her face. “He doesn’t want you to feel this way! Every action he took was his own decision. He wanted to become a better person and that’s what he did.”

She stared at him for the longest time. The cracks were growing. It was like she was barely stopping herself from breaking down completely.

“No,” she murmured. “He did it because he didn’t see the value in himself. He thought he was a monster. I should have told him. I should have told him how much he meant to me, how much I loved him, but I was too scared!”

There was that word again. It was something he was happy to hear, and yet at the same time, it rattled him. It almost felt wrong, and he didn’t know why.

“It’s not your fault,” he repeated, shoving those feelings down. “If he didn’t know how loved he was, then he was the real idiot.”

She let out a small laugh at that, but he couldn’t get over how hollow it sounded.

“You probably shouldn’t call him an idiot.”

“He was my brother. I can call him whatever I want.”

The words came out on their own. He wondered where they came from. He wondered when he had even started feeling that way.

But it was true. He may have been hesitant at first, especially while they stood on opposing sides. But ever since he started living his life here, started bickering with him instead of fighting, there was really only one thing he could call him.

His brother.

“Ven?”

Aqua’s concerned voice rang through him. His vision had gone blurry without him realising. He could barely even see her now.

Oh. He was crying again. He only just registered it before Aqua pulled her arms around him, holding him in her grip. She was so warm.

“It’s okay if you need to cry,” she told him. “I know you miss him too.”

Even though he appreciated the gesture initially, even enjoyed it, his body was starting to grow tense. Something was wrong. It was like ever second he was being held, the more and more he felt like he was drowning.

His heart thudded loudly in his ear, and he had to pull himself away.

Already, he could see Aqua’s confusion. Her hurt.

“S-sorry,” he got out before she could say anything. “I’m not feeling too good. Didn’t want you squeezing me too hard there.”

He smiled to try to convince her more, but she didn’t seem to be buying it. He could at least hope she wasn’t too offended.

“Are you okay?” she asked, almost cautiously. “I can get you something if you’re not feeling well.”

He waved her off. “Oh, I’m fine. No need to worry about me. Just might get some rest, that might help.”

Her eyes were still on him, almost burning into him. He kept smiling back at her, but the longer he did, the more he began to struggle. Especially when he caught her eyes with his. That worry for him bombarded him, but that wasn’t what he focused on.

No, he was thinking about what a deep blue her eyes were. He was drawn to the sight of her hair jostling in the breeze. And he had to look away.

Because when he looked at her, it wasn’t a friend he saw.

His head swam. He wanted to throw up. Bile gathered in his throat, and it was a struggle to swallow it down.

His skin itched. He felt… wrong. Like he wanted to climb out of his own body. He barely stopped himself from tugging at his own flesh.

“Ven!”

When did everything start spinning? He barely stopped himself from keeling over. He could already see Aqua reaching for him.

“I’m fine!” he snapped at her. “I just… need to lie down.”

He hadn’t meant to yell. Why did he do that? What was wrong with him? He was the worst.

And then he saw Aqua’s crestfallen face.

A sharp pain slammed into his chest. He covered his mouth to stop himself crying out.

He was going to be sick.

He ran from her. Just ran toward the castle. He ran for his room, but bile threatened to spill from him before he could make it.

He made it to the first bathroom he came across and threw himself over the sink.

It was disgusting. He could taste something bitter and viscous coming up the back of his throat. He coughed, spluttering it out into the sink. The taste filled his whole mouth, almost enough to make him throw up again. After heaving a few times until he felt his airway clear, he gathered the courage to look down at what he coughed up.

It stared back at him.

Ventus threw his hand over his mouth to stop himself screaming.

What… was that?

The mass he had expelled from himself was a dark, inky coloured blob, roughly the size of the palm of his hand. And it had eyes.

Slanted red eyes that stared up at him.

And it moved. Ventus could only watch in horror as it sprouted tiny arms and legs, wiggling them about as if figuring out how to use them.

It was at some point in watching the creature move around the sink that it dawned on him. He almost felt relieved when he recognised it. He knew exactly what it was.

It was an Unversed.

The longer he stared at it, the longer it stared at him, the more he managed to calm himself down. This thing… it couldn’t have come from him. But he knew exactly what might have caused it. Or who.

After wiping at his mouth, Ventus cautiously lowered a hand in front of the creature. It stared at it. Its newly formed antennae felt around the air for a moment before it finally reached its head up to sniff at him. Watching it, Ventus could almost forget her coughed it up not one minute ago. It seemed pretty harmless overall. It was tiny too, way smaller than any Unversed he had ever seen.

He needed to show the others. This was proof, wasn’t it? Proof that Vanitas was okay, he was just stuck inside him somewhere.

Just like that, Ventus’ blood turned to ice.

What was he so happy about? This just meant he was trapped. He might even be completely absorbed into his heart like he was supposed to be long ago. What good would it do telling his friends something like that?

And Aqua… would she even be able to look at him the same way?

No, until he figured out a way to get him free, or even if it was possible in the first place, he would keep silent. At least for now.

But there was one thing he needed to take care of first.

He looked down at the Unversed and already felt hesitant. Was there a way he could hide it? He really didn’t want to destroy it if he didn’t have to.

Almost like it sensed his thoughts, the Unversed’s little body tensed, and it backed away into the corner of the sink. Ventus’ heart dropped at the sight of it. No, he couldn’t do that. He needed to think of some other way to hide it while he decided what to do. So, he crouched down closer to the sink.

“Hey little guy,” he whispered. “Can you understand me?”

The Unversed tilted its head but did nothing else. Ventus sighed.

“Okay. Well if you can, then I need you to go hide somewhere. Somewhere no one will see you. Can you do that?”

It stared at him for a moment longer. But Ventus wasn’t ready for what it did next.

It scrambled to its feet and leapt up onto his outstretched hand, scaling his arm before he could grab at it. Then it dove at his chest and vanished from sight.

But he felt it. That torrent of emotions was enough to make him nauseous again.

You’re the worst. You’re despicable. You hurt her. You should disappear.

Ventus wanted to scream. That wasn’t him. He wasn’t the one feeling that way.

He pulled his hand up to his chest, where the creature had vanished.

“I’ll get you out,” he murmured. “I promise.”

***

Ventus should have expected he would be here again as soon as he fell asleep. It was almost routine now. He was surprised he managed to sleep at all after the morning he had, but he wouldn’t let this time go in vain.  

He floated down to the platform once again, and immediately started calling out the second he landed.

“Hey! Are you in here? Answer me!”

He needed to relax. He knew he had to be patient. The voice would often take a while to arrive. Or sometimes it wouldn’t come at all.

But he didn’t have to wait long this time.

…en…

Ventus swivelled around. There was still no one else on the platform, but that voice was definitely louder than usual. Almost like it was spoken straight into his ear.

  But he couldn’t see anything. He wanted to cry in frustration.

“Please, tell me how I can help you,” he cried out. “I can’t see you, but I know you’re there! Just… give me something! Anything!”

There was nothing but silence. Of course. It probably took all he could just to speak as little as he did. But Ventus wouldn’t give up.

“It’s Aqua,” he called out. “She misses you so much! She wants to see you again! So, let me help you!”

More silence. But he had to keep going.  

He shut his eyes and focused.

“Please,” he spoke again. “I want to hear you.”

He waited, keeping his ears open for any sound. Again, there was nothing.

But just then, he could have sworn he felt something brush against his shoulder. Like someone was standing behind him, gripping onto him. He focused on that feeling.  

His hands rose up to his heart. He could feel it thud under his fingers.

He felt something else too. Without realising it, he had summoned his Keyblade. It was like his body already knew what to do.

After jumping off, he floated away from the platform and aimed the blade towards where he had been standing. A beam of light shot from the tip, hitting the platform in its centre. Light poured out of where it struck, swallowing the void.

When Ventus opened his eyes again, the platform had changed. It was no longer his own. Bright red stained glass covered the surface, with the sleeping image of another familiar figure taking up most of it. Next to the face were smaller images of the people close to him. He had expected to see Aqua, but he was surprised to see himself and Terra there too.

But there was another figure standing in the middle of the platform, staring up at him.

…About time you noticed me, idiot.

Ventus dove for him. Dove for his brother. His hand almost reached his.

***

Ventus shot out of bed. His arm was still extended outwards. It all started to crash down on him.

No. He had been so close. 

His hand fell back to his chest. 

There was no mistaking it.

He had found Vanitas.

Chapter Text

Ventus should have known better than to try hiding it from everyone.

Maybe this was a sign he should have gone to his friends the moment he found out. After everything they had been through together, he knew they would be more than willing to help him out with whatever problem he had, and especially this one. But whenever he thought about reaching out, there was always something stopping him. There was always this fear, this uncertainty at the back of his mind. Fear that he was wrong, fear at how they would react as ridiculous as that was. But now, he might not even have a choice.

He counted one, two, three Unversed crawling around on his bed.

They must have spawned while he was sleeping. Still dazed from his sporadic slumber, he sat up in bed and watched as the creatures scampered around his covers. At least he didn’t have to cough these ones up, but he would rather just not be making them at all.

Because he knew what they represented. It literally stared him in the face, impossible to ignore. All the bad feelings he wanted to keep buried. The fear, the pain, the grief. He was reminded of them every time he tried to reabsorb one.

These creatures were his negative emotions after all. Only now instead of remaining in his heart, they broke free whenever one of them grew too intense. And after everything that happened lately, he was lucky to stop them at all.

The sleep he just had probably didn’t help either.

He watched one of the creatures crawl closer to him, climbing on top of his knee before he could even react. As its slanted red eyes stared at him, he could do little more than stare back. He didn’t even try to reabsorb it, not wanting to know what emotion had created it.

And the way it looked at him, it was almost like it understood.

Groaning, he collapsed back down into the bed, feeling the creatures scatter from the sudden movement. But even that didn’t deter them for long, with one climbing up on his chest after he settled. It wasn’t exactly heavy, but its clawed feet dug uncomfortably into his shirt. Not like it was anything painful. They really were just a small nuisance compared to what they used to be.

Despite how they were made, they were practically harmless now, more like small cats than monsters. Not one had tried to attack him since he started spawning them, and he wasn’t even sure they could do that much if they tried. 

More importantly, they seemed to listen to him. He hadn’t asked much of them, but every order to hide had been followed so far. That alone was a huge relief, but he was still terrified of one of them wandering out of sight one day.

He scratched one of the creatures behind the ear without even thinking about it and watched as it curled its head into his hand. This whole thing was very weird.

Sighing to himself, Ventus settled back into his pillow and gazed up at the ceiling. The Unversed nudged at his hand, as if complaining about the lack of attention. Ventus ignored it and closed his eyes to try to doze off for a bit.

He would be grateful if he could just get a little bit more sleep. Just once, he would like to shut his eyes, then wake up feeling rested while feeling like no time passed. For once, he wanted to sleep without dreaming.

Because every time he drifted off now, he would return to that void. And Vanitas would be there waiting.

They never interacted much. Ventus had to fight back the haze in his head every time they met, so even talking was a struggle. And he knew it was the same for Vanitas. Whenever they did manage to speak, Ventus could tell that it took a lot out of him, like every word was a battle with himself.

No, they didn’t really talk. Every time he found himself there, Vanitas mostly just glared at him. But perhaps that might not even be the right word.

Not once Ventus noticed how hollow his expression was.

It was like conversing with a corpse. His eyes, his expression, they both lay empty. At this point, Ventus would have given anything to see him sneer or glare at him in contempt, just like he used to.

His expression shifted only once in their few conversations since he found him. And that was when Ventus asked if he should tell Aqua of his fate.

The answer was clear. He mustered just enough poison in his glare to dissuade Ventus from doing just that.

Because he didn’t want Aqua to know what had become of him. He despised the thought, knowing it would be easier if she thought he was completely gone. And Ventus did understand somewhat.

He imagined telling her. Telling her the one she loved was so close yet out of reach, and he had been for a short while. Ventus could already picture the look on her face. That sadness. That yearning. But even worse, he could picture her looking at him differently.

Wishing someone else was there instead of him.

A now familiar bile began pooling in his throat. Ventus jolted up in bed, barely managing to hold it back. But no matter how much he swallowed, he couldn’t get rid of the bitterness still lingering on his tongue.

It couldn’t go on like this. There had to be a way to fix things, a way to get things back to normal. A way to get his and all his friends’ lives back to where they once were. And he may already have an idea of just how he could do that.

He just didn’t think he could do it alone. The idea of what he needed to do terrified him. He needed support, someone who could push him forward and assure him things would be okay, and fortunately he had the perfect person in mind. He knew Vanitas would hate it, especially if he became the first person to know about him, but there wasn’t much of a choice.

After letting out a breath, he reached for the Gummi Phone on his bedside table. It felt weird sending a message like this while they were on the same world, but he didn’t want to risk running into Aqua right now.

Once he put the phone down, he gave a silent order for the creatures to hide. Ventus should prepare him first before he caught sight of them. He watched as they scampered off the side of the bed, and only breathed again once they were completely hidden from sight.

Sure enough, he heard footsteps bounding through the hallway not moments later.

“Ven!” Terra yelled out as he threw open the door. “Is everything okay? I got here as fast as I could.”

Maybe he should have reworded the message so it wouldn’t sound so urgent.

Terra was out of breath as he stood in the doorway, like he had just sprinted over from the other end of the castle. Ventus shrunk into himself at the feeling of guilt. It probably didn’t look too good calling him all the way over here, especially while he sat there in bed still in his pyjamas.

He pulled himself into a seated position over the side of his bed, as if that would help things.

“I’m fine,” Ventus assured him. “I just needed to talk to you about something.”

He could only imagine what Terra was thinking about all this. From the way he stared at him, it made him wonder how much he knew already. Or whether he had expected being called here like this.

But before he could ponder it anymore, Terra shut the door behind him and made his way over to the bed.

“What is it?” he asked, taking a seat beside him. Concern bled through his voice. “Are you finally gonna tell me what’s been going on with you? Aqua said something about you not feeling well lately, but I don’t buy it.”

There it was. He should have known that Terra would figure things out sooner or later. There wasn’t a lot he could keep hidden from his friend anymore, not after all they had been through.

“Well,” Ventus began. “That’s sorta true, but… it’s kind of a long story. I just really don’t think I can do this on my own anymore.”

“Do what?”

Ventus took a breath before continuing.

“It’s Vanitas. He’s still alive. His heart is just trapped inside mine.”

He said it. There was no taking it back now.

The words hung in the air. Ventus couldn’t bring himself to look at Terra’s face, not quite ready to see his reaction. But soon enough, he heard Terra chuckle next to him.

“So, that’s what’s going on. Makes sense. Can’t say it’s too surprising.”

Ventus’ head snapped up to face him. His jaw was on the floor.

Terra wasn’t even shocked, not even a little bit.

“Huh? Really?”

He smiled at him. “You do realise you’ve been staring at Aqua a lot more often, right?”

He choked when he heard those words. Was it that obvious? Just the thought made him panic. If Terra had picked up on it, there was no way Aqua hadn’t noticed.

Ventus groaned and hid his face in his hands.

“Please tell me it’s not that noticeable.”

Terra didn’t even have to answer with words, the laugh he let out was answer enough.

He tapped him lightly on the back. “It is. But I admit, I did wonder if you started having feelings for her, but I didn’t think that would happen. Not now.”

“Right.”

“But then, you were also getting snappy with me more often, so it just makes sense now.”

So, he noticed that too. An icy feeling began eating away at him.

“I’m sorry,” Ventus murmured into his hands. “I didn’t mean to.”

It was the last thing he wanted. Terra didn’t deserve to be pushed away like that.

“What are you sorry for? I’m used to Vanitas being mad at me for some reason.”

Ventus chuckled at that. He pulled his hands away so he could look at Terra again.

“He doesn’t really hate you, you know. He just hates the idea of getting along with you.”

Vanitas would deny it until he was blue in the face, but even Terra had grown on him after the time he spent here. His face being present within his heart was more than enough proof of that.

He heard Terra laugh again. “I’m not sure that’s much better.”

Something about the sound was just contagious. Ventus found himself laughing along, already feeling relieved. Just from talking like this.

Was it really this easy telling someone? Should he have done this sooner?

Terra would always be there for him. He should have known that. They would help each other with anything.

His heart felt lighter as he watched Terra smile back at him. It had been a while since he felt so calm, so calm that he could almost ignore the tiny creature on the floor peering up at him.

Wait.

Ventus froze as he locked eyes with the Unversed. He hadn’t told it to come out. It stared back at him, wiggling its antennae. He screamed out a silent order for it to hide, and barely saw it scamper back into hiding before he returned his gaze to Terra.

He had to calm down, or he’d notice.

“Ven? Everything okay?”

When he locked eyes with his friend again, he realised how he must have looked. Maybe he should just get it over with. Hopefully he wouldn’t freak out too much.

He sighed and leaned over the edge of the bed, feeling Terra’s curious stare the entire time. It took a moment, but he spotted the creatures cowering in the shadows. He reached a hand out as an invitation, and it wasn’t long before one of the Unversed scampered towards him.

After seizing it in his grip, Ventus turned himself upright again. The creature was concealed in his hands, not even fighting its fate.

“Ven.”

Terra’s voice had a sharp edge to it. He flinched, knowing that his friend was staring at his hands. For a moment, he considered reabsorbing it and pretending everything was fine again. But no, Terra deserved to know everything.

“Yeah, uh,” Ventus began as he stood up to face Terra. It would be better to put some distance between them. “There’s one other thing. It’s kinda the reason I can’t keep this secret anymore.”

Terra watched him, not even trying to hide his anticipation. Ventus took a breath before uncurling his hands.

The Unversed sat on his palm, its tiny head darting around the room as soon as it was exposed. Worried it would run, Ventus picked it up around the middle and held it up for Terra to see.

Maybe this was the only thing left he could surprise him with.

Terra’s eyes went wide as he saw the creature, but confusion quickly replaced his alarm as he took in the sight of it. It must have been really pathetic looking when Ventus held it like that. Its limbs hung limply at its sides, almost like it was playing dead, but it wouldn’t convince anyone with its head still moving around like that.

But the moment it caught sight of Terra, it completely froze in place, enough that Ventus felt it stiffen in his grip. He watched as the two of them stared at each other in stalemate, as if waiting for the other to move first.

“Ven,” Terra spoke up again. His eyes hadn’t moved from the creature. “What is that?”

Ventus loosened his hold on the creature, and it took the opportunity to scamper up his arm and seek refuge behind his shoulder. Its tiny claws dug into his shirt, barely hard enough for him to feel the pinch. Ignoring the feeling, Ventus nudged his head towards it.

“That’s an Unversed,” he said. “And there’s a few more under the bed.”

He knew the word would get a reaction. Terra jumped up from the bed, his face going pale.

“Unversed?” he got out. “Like what–”

“Yeah,” Ventus cut him off.  He went to peel the creature of his shoulder, and while it did its best to hold on, it didn’t have the strength to keep its grip. He held it out to Terra again. “Only these seem to be harmless. A lot smaller too.”

As it sat in his palm, Ventus caught himself scratching at its head again. It closed its eyes and let out a chirping noise as it leant into his finger.

The question was whether Terra would think they were as harmless as he did. Though judging from the look on his face, that didn’t seem too likely. His eyes didn’t leave the creature, like he was waiting for it to pounce at him at any second. Ventus almost told him it was enjoying the head rubs too much to try.

“How long has this been happening?”

Ventus almost didn’t hear Terra speaking to him. He shouldn’t delay this anymore.

“It hasn’t been very long,” Ventus told him as he sat next to Terra again. He lowered the creature to the bed, watching as it fled behind his pillow. “I… wasn’t trying to hide it or anything. I just needed some time to figure out what to do.”

“But those things,” Terra began. “They came from his emotions, right? So are these his, or are they yours?”

Ventus thought for a moment before responding. “I don’t know. They’re… mine, I think. But that’s what scares me.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” he answered. He gripped at his covers. “What if, one day I get really angry or upset and then I just can’t control it? What if they hurt someone?”

It wouldn’t take much. With how he’d been snapping at every little thing lately, it would only take him lapsing control for just a moment. And maybe that time, someone would be in the firing line.

“So, you’re worried the problem will get worse, is that it?”

He could only nod in response. It didn’t matter how cute or harmless these things were right now, that could all change so quickly.

They were monsters. Creatures of darkness like the Heartless. Just because he was the one calling the shots right now didn’t mean that it would always be the case.

But there was more to it than that. This all represented an even bigger problem that they needed to deal with.

“But it’s not just that,” Ventus spoke up as he turned to Terra. “It’s Vanitas. This is proof of where he is now, and that means we can’t just leave him. We have to do something. We have to free him.”

“You’re right.”

Ventus couldn’t move his eyes from him as he absorbed what he said.

You’re right.

Hearing Terra agree so quickly shouldn’t have been such a surprise. Since the beginning, he always cared about what was best for them. He may not have gotten along with Vanitas very well, but he knew how much he meant to Aqua. And to him. And that was more than enough reason to help.

“I’m just…” Ventus continued, doing his best to get the words out. “Not really sure where to go from here.”

“Well, didn’t something similar happen with Naminé and the others? Maybe we can do something like that.”

Right. Ventus wasn’t the only one who had someone else living in his heart at some point. Even Ventus himself had sought refuge within Sora’s heart years ago.

“Yeah,” he mused. “Maybe I should go to those guys in Radiant Garden for help.”

Terra nodded. “Yeah, why not? It’s at least a good place to start. If anyone can help, it’s those guys.”

This was going better than he could have hoped. A plan was coming together, and it should have stopped him feeling so hopeless. But Ventus couldn’t feel relieved just yet. There was one more issue he had to deal with.

He looked up at Terra again, his mouth moving on its own.

“We can’t tell Aqua about this. Not yet.”

Terra stalled, like he hadn’t understood what he said. It took a moment for him to process his words, and soon Ventus was met with a raised eyebrow.

“Um, okay,” he began. “And why exactly are we keeping it a secret?”

“It’s just…” Ventus paused, needing time to think it over. “I think we should wait until we’re sure something can be done. Then I’ll tell her myself, I promise.”

“And if it can’t?” Terra asked him. “I’m not saying it won’t work, but are you really gonna keep it hidden if it doesn’t?”

Ventus didn’t even want to consider the possibility. The idea that he could remain trapped.

No, he couldn’t. There had to be a way to free him. To give him his own life.

“If that happens, I’ll tell her. But just for now, I don’t want to give her hope only to take it away again. She’s been through enough.”

He pictured Aqua’s crestfallen face once again and it was enough to make his throat tighten. He couldn’t do that to her. He just hoped Terra understood.

Luckily, it looked like he didn’t need much more convincing. After one more piercing look, he let out a sigh.

“Alright,” he spoke. “So, what’s your plan?”

Ventus smiled. He couldn’t help himself. It was just such a nice feeling having someone on his side like this.

“I’ll go over to Radiant Garden and see if they can do anything to help. I’ll just need to work out an excuse for going.”

“For Aqua?” Terra asked. Ventus could tell he was already having doubts. “I don’t wanna lie to her, you know.”

“I know. Just… maybe we don’t have to tell her the whole truth,” Ventus suggested. “I can say I’m going to check on the search or something, and it’s not like I’d be lying. I can do that while I’m there too.”

Terra looked like he was still second guessing things, and Ventus couldn’t blame him. He didn’t want to lie to her either. If it were truly up to him, Ventus probably would have told her something by now.

But it wasn’t just his decision. There was someone else involved who was adamant that she didn’t know a thing. That influence was more powerful than it should have been, but Ventus was willing to compromise. At least until they figured out a way to help him.

“She isn’t stupid, you know,” Terra spoke up after a while. “She knows something’s been going on with you. And if you go to Radiant Garden while acting all secretive about it, she’ll figure it out.”

He was right. She was way too smart. She’d see right through something like that. Maybe he should just tell her.

But the moment the thought crossed his mind, something in his heart clamped in protest.

No.

No. He couldn’t. He had to get him out first. And it wasn’t just for Vanitas’ sake. It was for his too. He couldn’t stand the thought of Aqua always searching for someone else whenever she looked at him.

“I know,” Ventus spoke. “But just for now, let’s just try to stretch the truth a little. Please.”

He could tell he was wearing him down. It wasn’t like he was asking for something completely unreasonable, and he could see Terra start to crumble.

The Unversed from before poked its head out from its hiding spot and stared at Terra, almost like it was pleading him too.

“Alright,” he sighed. He turned back to Ventus. “But I hope you’re ready for her to be mad at you when she figures it out.”

“Yeah, she won’t be happy, huh?” Ventus chuckled. “I just hope I have some good news for her when that happens.”

“And if you need anything,” Terra began. “Then you know you can come to me for anything, right?”

That’s right. He could. He was so thankful for that.

“Yeah.” Ventus let out a smile. “I’ll do that from now on. I promise.”

He could tell Terra was about to say something else, so Ventus stopped him.

“But,” he began. “This is something I gotta do on my own. At least at first. You understand, don’t you?”

“Ven–”

Terra began to protest, but he stopped it himself with a shake of his head.

“Just be careful, alright?” he told him. “I can stay here with Aqua for now, but I want you to promise you’ll tell us the moment anything happens.”

Ventus nodded. “Got it. You don’t even need to tell me that.”

“Well, I’ll be rooting for you. Bring that asshole back to us.”

Terra left him alone not long after. Ventus was glad he trusted him enough to let him do this by himself, but the conversation still stuck in his mind.

He was right. Aqua would figure out something was amiss sooner or later, if she hadn’t already. Vanitas had been terrible at hiding things from her too, and Ventus wasn’t sure he was faring much better. That was why he needed to act fast. It was only a matter of time before one of these Unversed wandered over to Aqua, or he let something else slip.

Almost like they were being called, the remaining two Unversed crawled out from under the bed. Even the one behind the pillow had fully emerged from its hiding spot.

Staring at them now only helped with his resolve. He needed to get going.

He stood up from the bed, cursing to himself when he remembered it would be safer to reabsorb them before heading off. He only hoped the pain wouldn’t be as intense this time.

“Ventus!”

A voice came from somewhere in the room. Ventus swivelled around as he tried to determine the source. Even the Unversed seemed spooked judging from how they scrambled for their hiding places again.

Then, after a puff of smoke, another small creature landed on his bed.

“Chirithy?”

Ventus still couldn’t get over how they would just appear out of nowhere like that. He almost wanted to tell them off for it, but there was never a chance to do it, not when they usually vanished as quickly as they appeared.

Chirithy took a moment to dust themself off before they gazed up at him, their stitched eyes pleading at him. That’s when he knew something was wrong. It wasn’t often his little friend appeared like this, looking so worried.

“I know what you’re going to do,” they began. “And I know why you want to do it. But do you think we can just take a moment to think it over?”

Ventus stared at them. Were they going to try and talk him out of it? He knew Chirithy didn’t exactly trust Vanitas, but this seemed like a bit much.

“What’s there to think over?” He crossed his arms. “I’m going to bring him back so he can have a life of his own, and so my friend doesn’t have to be sad anymore.”

“Yes, I understand that. But–”

“But what?” Ventus interrupted them before they could say more. “Don’t tell me you have a problem with this. I thought you said he was changing.”

Sure, Chirithy had never fully trusted Vanitas, but even they could tell how much he had changed since they found him.

“I know,” they spoke up. “But that isn’t the problem. There are just other things we need to consider first.”

“Yeah? Like what?”

“Like what might happen to you if we do this.”

Ventus stalled.

“Me?” he got out. “What do you mean?”

Chirithy stared right through him. “He’s part of your heart now, right? Have you even thought about what might happen to you if you pull him out again?”

He had. He just didn’t want to think about it.

Vanitas had been torn out of him once before. It left him comatose. Left him without memories or even the slightest clue of who he was. That event broke some core part of him, and if it weren’t for his friends, he would have stayed that way. Broken.

But it was different this time. It had to be.

“That doesn’t matter,” Ventus spoke, pulling a hand to his chest. “All I know is that he’s stuck in here and he’s still himself. This isn’t the same as what happened last time. He’s spent all this time growing into a better person and if there’s a chance I can get him out, I’m gonna take it.”

Nothing would sway him now. Chirithy had to know that.

But they just kept staring up at him. That nervous expression hadn’t gone away. It was starting to put him on edge.

Almost like they weren’t just worried about him.

“Hey,” Ventus swallowed. “What’s this really about? You’re acting weird.”

“Huh?” Chirithy perked up at that. “Oh, nothing! Sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you, I just wanted you to think this over a little more.”

Ventus wasn’t sure he believed them. There was more to this, there had to be.

It happened every time they talked about Vanitas. Every time he was even mentioned, Chirithy got this haunted look in their eye. The more time Vanitas spent in the castle, the better it got, but there was always this underlying fear of him. And while he knew Vanitas had been threatening to Chirithy, he never actually hurt them.

No, something else was going on. And Chirithy didn’t look like they were ready to tell him. Something in his chest flared up in annoyance, but he managed to swallow it down.

That was Vanitas getting mad. Not him. He had to stay calm, or he’d just scare Chirithy off.

“I have thought it over,” he insisted. “And I’ve decided I’m going to help him, no matter what. It’s the least I can do after what he’s done for Aqua.”

And if they tried to stop him, that would be unforgivable.

Only it seemed like they were starting to crack instead. Chirithy studied him for a moment longer before sinking in defeat.

“I guess I can’t change your mind, huh? Just, be careful.”

They didn’t need to tell him that.

“Of course I’ll be careful!” Ventus told them. “I still haven’t really had a chance to talk to you after all.”

That’s right. He hadn’t forgotten. One day, this adorable little creature showed up and called him their friend. Like they knew him from long ago.

It unnerved him a little. Ventus still didn’t remember much before he arrived in the Land of Departure, only what other people told him. He remembered bits and pieces of training with Xehanort, but he couldn’t tell whether they were his own memories or if it was just Vanitas’ bleeding through their bond. Everything was too fragmented to tell for sure.

But Chirithy? He didn’t remember them at all. From what he’d been able to piece together, they they must have been someone he knew in childhood, in that blank void where his memory cut off. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t remember a single thing.

To make things more frustrating, whenever he asked simple things like who they were or how they knew each other, he could never get a real response. Almost like Chirithy was afraid to tell him. And thanks to their habit of disappearing whenever they liked, he could never get them to sit still long enough for him to ask properly. They appeared and left on their own terms every time like a spirit.

Even now, Ventus could tell this interaction wouldn’t last much longer.

“Okay,” Chirithy said after a while. “But I’ll be keeping an eye on you.”

Of course, with those parting words, Chirithy vanished in a puff of smoke once more, leaving Ventus to dwell on their conversation. He knew they tried to warn him about something, but it was hard for him to take it seriously when they weren’t telling him the whole truth.

But he couldn’t worry about it right now. He had to help his brother.

The problem was he had to leave the world to do so.

Sure, he could just hop on a glider and go whenever he wanted, but it didn’t feel right leaving without a word to Aqua. She wasn’t just his friend, she was also technically his Master right now, and while he had a history of running from them, it didn’t feel right to do that this time.

He never wanted to hide things from her, and he swore that this would be the last time he did so.

Luckily, he managed to think of something to tell her, at least for now. She would be furious when he realised he lied to her, but that was a problem for later. This was what was best in the long run.

He repeated that thought in his head over and over again as he approached her door. It stood looming over him, but before he could hesitate any further, he knocked.

There was the sound of a chair scraping along the floor. Ventus didn’t even have time to feel bad for interrupting what she was doing before the door was open.

When she appeared in front of him, he couldn’t stop himself from smiling in relief. Her face brightened the moment she saw him, a brightness he hadn’t witnessed in a while. There was still the hint of a shadow under her eyes, but otherwise she seemed almost normal. It was probably the most rested she had looked in weeks.

Something in him twinged, and he could almost feel Vanitas’ smug expression.

See? I knew she’d get over it.

“Ven? What brings you here?”

Aqua’s voice brought his attention back. He would have to remember to tell Vanitas off for that later. He just really hoped Aqua hadn’t noticed him spacing out like that, not when he had a job to do.

“I just wanted to run something by you,” Ventus began, trying to keep his voice steady. “I just got a message from those guys over at Radiant Garden. I think they wanted me to go over there so I could check on something, something to do with Sora.”

Her eyes widened at that. “With Sora? Why, do they think they’ve found something?”

Ventus shrugged. “Not sure. That’s why they wanted me to go over to check.”

He hoped he was being at least somewhat convincing, but when he noticed Aqua studying him, he wondered if she saw right through him. She was way too smart, so the best he could do at all was a half-truth like this. And it was true in a way since if they could help Vanitas, maybe they could find a way to help Sora too.

“Well, should we–”

“It’s alright, Aqua!” Ventus blurted out, cutting her off without meaning to. “I’m okay going by myself. It didn’t sound like there would be much involved anyway, but I promise to let you know if anything changes.”

He saw it.

He saw that brief flash of hurt before she had a chance to hide it.

She thought he didn’t trust her. She thought he didn’t believe she was capable of helping anymore. That she was a burden.

That was the last thing he wanted her to think. Ventus opened his mouth, trying to think of a way to backpedal.

“Okay,” she spoke up before he got the chance. She did her best to bury the hurt, but it was still there. “But I want you to promise you’ll call us if something happens.”

“Of course I will!” Ventus spoke up, just trying to reassure her now. “You don’t even have to ask that.”

“Then, can you promise one more thing?”

He stared up at her and watched her expression crumble just a fraction.

“Please,” she began. “Don’t stay away too long. I don’t want any of us to be apart again.”

Ventus stared at her as he caught onto her meaning.

Was she afraid he would disappear too? Chirithy’s warning swirled in his mind.

If things went well, that would mean splitting his heart again. Maybe Aqua had a right to worry.

But that didn’t matter. Vanitas deserved his own life. He deserved his own happiness. After finally feeling how much he suffered, he would do whatever he could to grant it. It was the least he deserved.

“I’ll come back as soon as I can,” he told her.

“Then, be careful,” she added. She stared through him. “You haven’t been well lately, right? Don’t push yourself.”

That warning was more than deserved. He hadn’t exactly been the epitome of health and mental wellbeing lately. She would worry no matter what words he mustered to convince her not to.

And if she knew about what he was really up to, she would just worry more.

“It’s okay,” he told her. “I know my limits.”

That finally seemed to be enough to satisfy her. After a few parting words, she disappeared back into her room. Now there was no reason to hesitate.

He stopped by his room to reabsorb any lingering Unversed, biting down the swirling dread and guilt that bombarded him as he did. Soon, it would all be like a bad dream.

Pushing away any lingering apprehension, he made his way to the courtyard and summoned his Keyblade Glider. It was only when the Land of Departure was far behind him that he felt like he could breathe again.

But the relief was short lived. After that talk with Aqua, he could feel Vanitas’ presence in his mind growing stronger. Even thinking about her just now, he could feel something clambering within his chest. His mind was filled with doubts, his thoughts almost fighting with each other. He wasn’t even sure which thoughts were his own anymore.

That was why he had to get him out. If for nothing else, just so he could be himself again.

It was that determination which carried him all the way to Radiant Garden. He set his Glider down in the town square, watching the flower petals blow around where he landed. The sight left him captivated, even if he felt bad for disturbing them.

He dismissed his armour and took a moment to walk around. It was the first time he really managed to stop and appreciate the place. The last time he was here, an eternity ago, he was too caught up in the argument he just had with Terra and Aqua. Now, he found himself listening to the distant sound of fountains, feeling the breeze on his face, absorbing the floral fragrance in the air. It was strange that he was so drawn to this place now.

He felt something tug at his heart as he gazed across the square once more. Sure, Ventus did have good memories of this place, it was where he met Lea after all, but this was something different.

Closing his eyes, he could almost feel it. The thrill as he clashed blades with someone. His heart racing as he stared down his opponent. As they danced around each other, each eager to emerge victorious.

But no. That wasn’t him. The realisation struck him.

Oh. This was where they first met.

His heart clenched as that thought crossed his mind, as if confirming it.

Now Ventus just felt awkward. Like he was intruding on some romantic secret he wasn’t supposed to know. He even felt a spark of irritation directed at himself.

He swallowed back the lump forming in his throat, worried it would spawn another Unversed. No matter what, he had to keep that under wraps, at least until he got to the castle. He didn’t want to risk panicking the town.

After grounding himself again, he headed through the nearby gate and up the stairs. As the castle came more into view, he found himself thinking back to the first time he was here. It was funny to think that the first time he was this close to the castle, the guards nearly chased him off. So much had happened since then.

Right. Even if it didn’t feel like that long ago to him, it had been twelve years of actual time. The thought disturbed him. While he lay dormant for over a decade, the worlds had moved on without him. Maybe that was something he would never get used to, but at least he wasn’t alone in feeling that way. Aqua had spent that time in the Realm of Darkness. Terra had spent that time possessed.

Vanitas…

Yeah. He wasn’t the only one time left behind.

He had barely began strolling across the courtyard when the entrance doors started to open. Ventus stopped in place, wondering if someone was coming out to greet him. He didn’t have to speculate on who it could be for very long, as out stepped a familiar face.

Even though they hadn’t interacted for very long, her appearance hadn’t changed too much since the last he saw her. Her blonde hair was still the same, maybe a touch longer, and her eyes were still the same bright blue he remembered. Perhaps the biggest change was what she wore. Gone was the white dress, replaced with a pale blue one reaching just above the knee. On top of that lay a white lab coat, long enough that it nearly reached her ankles.

Looking closer, Ventus saw something else had changed in her. It was the way she carried herself. Something about her just seemed brighter. More self-assured. It was a welcome sight, especially when he thought back to how shy she was when he met her.

She locked eyes with him, giving him a warm smile.

“Hello, Ventus,” she spoke as she stopped in front of him. “I thought that was you. It’s good to see you again.”

“Yeah,” he replied, grinning back at her. “It’s nice to see you too, Naminé.”

He wished he had more of a chance to talk to her before, especially once he heard about everything she had done for him and his friends. She was the one who helped guide Terra’s spirit back to them after all, and that alone had him in her debt. But there was something nagging at him.

“I didn’t expect to see you here,” Ventus began. “I thought you were still over in Twilight Town with the others.”

Or at least, he was pretty sure that was the case. He didn’t remember her being here the last time he visited.

“I was,” she told him. “But I decided to come here to help out with Kairi. I thought I might be more useful here, so here I am.”

“Oh yeah?”

That’s right. From what he heard, Kairi had been placed in a deep sleep while her heart was being examined for any sign of Sora. Ventus shuddered at the thought of anyone going under like that voluntarily, but he understood it if was to help a friend. He only hoped she wouldn’t need to stay asleep for too long.

“Yeah,” Naminé spoke up again. She crossed her arms over herself, and Ventus saw the brightness in her eyes diminish. “I’m getting a little worried. It wasn’t supposed to go on for this long, but she refuses to wake up unless she finds something.”

Worried? She was worried?

Cold filled his body. Did she think she wouldn’t wake up? Was what she was doing even safe? Did they even know what they were doing?

“Ventus?”

Naminé’s voice brought him back. His eyes snapped up to hers. Now it was clear her worry was for him.

“Sorry,” she began. “I didn’t mean to unsettle you. Kairi will be fine, I promise.”

Why did it feel like she saw right through him? Of course, it made sense to worry about Kairi, but there was more to it than that. Especially for him. And he felt like Naminé knew exactly what got him so shaken up in the first place.

But that didn’t matter right now.

“I’m okay,” he blurted out. “But actually, I’m here because I need help with something. I think you might even be the perfect person to ask.”

Naminé blinked at him. “Me?”

“Yeah.” He paused before speaking out the words. “It’s about Vanitas.”

Once the name left his lips, a look of pity fell on Naminé’s face.

“Yes, I heard what happened. I’m sorry.”

“But that’s just it,” Ventus continued. “I don’t think he’s really gone. I think he might still be inside me somewhere. And I can’t just leave him there. I have to do something.”

As he spoke, he could feel Naminé’s stare on him. She didn’t seem surprised by the news at all. Instead, it seemed like she was trying to stare right through him, almost like she wanted to see for herself whether Vanitas was there or not.

“I see,” she spoke after a while. “I think I might be able to help, but–”

“Really?”

Ventus couldn’t help his excitement and ended up cutting her off. Once he realised what he had done, he slammed a hand to his mouth and murmured an apology.

“Yes,” she continued, like she hadn’t even minded the interruption. “But I don’t think we should have this conversation here. We should go somewhere else to talk. Follow me.”

As she turned and headed back to the castle doors, Ventus followed wordlessly behind her, trying to quell his excitement.

This was it. She’ll help him. There was a solution.

He was so caught up in his thoughts that he barely had time to marvel at the castle. Sure, he had never really seen all that much of it, but it was always so interesting to see a castle other than the one he lived in. But he’d have to explore it some other time.

“I’ll have to take you to one of the smaller studies,” Naminé spoke up as she led him down a hallway. “They’re using the main study for an experiment right now.”

Ventus had barely opened his mouth to ask when Naminé glanced back at him.

“I mean it. You don’t have to worry about Kairi,” she told him. “She’s in good hands here. I’m more worried about how she’ll react if the search comes up with nothing.”

“Yeah.” Ventus let out a sigh. “I wouldn’t blame her. Going through all that for nothing would be awful.”

It wasn’t much longer before Naminé stopped outside one of the doors along the hall, and ushered Ventus inside. It was fairly sparce, with no real furniture aside from a coffee table and two white couches facing each other in the middle of the room. A window stood at the end of the room, looking out over the town below.

“So,” Naminé began as she took a seat. “When you say Vanitas might have returned, you don’t need to sound so unsure about it. I know you’ve realised it by now.”

Ventus hadn’t even taken the seat opposite when her words made him jump up.

“Wait,” he got out. “You mean…”

His words trailed off when he noticed Naminé wasn’t looking at him, almost like she was afraid to meet his gaze. A sliver of dread began to bloom within him.

But then she spoke again.

“Yes. He has returned to you.”

He has returned.

Hearing it confirmed like that was enough to make him forget his earlier fear. Relief filled the space it left behind, and Ventus almost wanted to laugh from the joy.

“I knew it.” Ventus couldn’t stop himself smiling. “So, it’s true? Does that mean you can sense him?”

Naminé nodded, placing a hand over her chest as she raised her head to look at him again.

“Yes,” she spoke. “I can feel his presence within your heart. He’s there.”

It was reassuring to hear her speak with such confidence. But perhaps he should have expected that she’d know what she was talking about. Ventus had heard a little bit about Naminé’s powers, but he couldn’t say he understood them very well. From what he knew, she seemed to have the power to look into the hearts and memories of anyone connected to Sora.

And considering how many people were connected to Sora in the first place, it was scary to think about how powerful that made her.

His hand hovered over his chest. “So if he’s there, is there any chance of getting him out?”

Naminé expression faltered. She glanced back down at her hands. Ventus felt his heart drop.

“It…” she began. “It isn’t that simple.”

This was not what he wanted to hear. He swallowed, already feeling the bile forming in his throat. He needed to calm down.

“What?” he got out. “Why not?”

She took time to think over her next words. Every time she looked ready to speak, she stopped herself. Almost like she was worried about saying the wrong thing to him.

And from her worried glances, Ventus wondered if she could sense his turmoil. Even as he did his best to hide it.

“This is a little different from what happened with me or Roxas,” she spoke after a while. “Yes, we too only existed as hearts inside someone else, but Vanitas is sort of a special case.”

“Special?”

Naminé nodded. “Roxas and I, we came from Sora and Kairi respectively. We were born from their hearts. But Vanitas is different. His origins… are from something else.”

Ventus blinked at her.

Huh? What was she talking about?

Vanitas was part of him. He had always been a part of him. He was the dark part of his heart that had been torn away from him, and by some miracle had been allowed to form his own identity. How could he have come from somewhere else?

“Let me explain,” Naminé spoke up before Ventus could voice his protest. “It was something I noticed back when I first dove into Sora’s memories. I thought I’d made a mistake, but no, Sora had memories belonging to other people. Those were your memories. And Vanitas’.”

“Wait,” Ventus got out. “You saw my memories?”

“Yes.”

“Did you–”

Ventus stopped himself before he could ask his next question.

Did you see where I came from?

Because that didn’t matter right now. He could talk to Naminé about this all he wanted later, but for now, he had to remember why he was there. For Vanitas.

“Ventus,” she continued. “I know what you wanted to ask, and the truth is I didn’t manage to get that far. Something… stopped me from delving any further. Like something was preventing me. And to tell you the truth, once I knew the memories weren’t Sora’s and had nothing to do with him, I just pushed them to the side. I’m sorry.”

He shook his head. “No, you don’t need to apologise.”

“But I do remember one thing,” she spoke. “It was a while before I realised what I was looking at, but I’m certain I saw the moment Vanitas was born. I remember sensing this intense pain and fear. I almost didn’t want to look at it.”

He knew exactly what she was talking about. Even thinking on it now, it was like Vanitas was stirring from the memory.

“Yeah,” said Ventus. “That’s right. I was training under Xehanort, and I couldn’t do what he asked of me. So, he tore him out of me. He tore the darkness out and that’s what made Vanitas.”

“But that’s not all that happened,” she explained. “Xehanort wasn’t the one who separated you two. You were already two distinct beings.”

Ventus stared at her, just trying to process what she said.

“Wait, what?” he got out. “What are you talking about?”

Naminé hesitated. “I… don’t really know the whole story. I can just sense that Vanitas is someone who already existed in your heart long before Xehanort arrived. But I think there’s someone else who can provide a better explanation.”

He didn’t even have time to question her before a familiar figure appeared in a puff of smoke.

Ventus watched as Chirithy dusted themself off before settling down next to Naminé. Something in him made it impossible for him to look away from this creature in front of him.

“I’m sorry,” Chirithy spoke as they looked up at him. “This is what I wanted to tell you. Vanitas isn’t just your darkness. He’s something much more dangerous.”

Ventus just stared at them. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Here he was, on a whole other world just trying to get his brother back, and this creature he barely knew was here trying to talk him out of it.

“Chirithy,” he spoke, doing what he could to force back his growing anger. “Do you mind explaining exactly what you mean by that?”

Ventus felt as if his anger must have been rolling off him in waves. And Chirithy must have sensed it. Now they wouldn’t look at him. They even looked scared.

“I know you don’t remember,” they got out. “It happened a very long time ago. The important thing to know is we were under threat from Darkness, so you sealed a piece of it away in your heart in order to save us. That is what Vanitas is. He’s… part of an ancient darkness, one that’s set to wreak havoc if ever released.”

Ventus studied Chirithy for the longest time, almost like waiting for them to tell him that it was just a joke. That they had gotten bored and come up with this elaborate lie as a way to entertain themself. Because this all sounded absurd.

“’Ancient darkness’?” Ventus mouthed out the words, but they didn’t sound any more plausible. “Are you kidding me right now?”

“Ven–”

“No, I don’t want to hear it!” he shouted, slamming his hands on the table. Both Naminé and Chirithy flinched, but he didn’t care. “Do you have any idea how ridiculous you sound? Vanitas is a person! Yeah, he used to be a part of me, but then he got a life and heart of his own, and he deserves to have it back!”

“Ventus.”

Naminé had spoken up that time. Ventus spun towards her, but once her face came into sight, he managed to stop himself before any biting remarks could come out.

No. He wasn’t mad at Naminé. She didn’t deserve to have him lose his temper at her.

“Ventus,” she spoke again. “I agree with you.”

He froze once he realised what she said.

“Huh?”

Even Chirithy seemed surprised. They looked as if they wanted to say something, but a pointed look from Naminé stopped whatever it was.

“You’re right,” said Naminé, turning back to Ventus. “Vanitas is a person. He has his own heart, and he has built up his own connections to other people. And from what I can feel, the time he spent with you all at the Land of Departure had only served to make his heart fuller.”

Hearing that, Aqua’s face flashed into his mind. “Yeah, I know.”

“But it’s not just that,” Naminé continued. “I mentioned how I saw your memories while I was restoring Sora a year ago. I saw Vanitas’ too. Those memories,” She placed a hand on her chest. “They carried a lot of pain. But even back then when his heart was fractured, back when he was still under Xehanort’s control, he was still building connections.”

Even then. When all he wanted was to join with him, he was building connections.

“Connections, huh?” Ventus murmured. “With who?”

Naminé smiled at him. “You have to ask? With your friend, Aqua.”

He shouldn’t have been surprised. He should have known as much from what he felt in the square.

I’ll keep you around.

That’s what he had said to her. But he wasn’t supposed to. Ventus knew that back then, he was supposed to kill her and be done with it. Or better yet, not interact with her at all.

But he ignored orders and went after her anyway.

Why? Because he was fascinated. Ventus could almost feel him grumble in protest, but he knew he was right.

He was just glad it managed to turn into something else.

“Really?” Ventus mused. He tried not to sound smug, but he was failing. “Even back then, huh?”

She nodded. “They may not have met under the best circumstances, but ever since that first meeting, Aqua had taken up space in his heart, even if he didn’t realise it. And it only grew more and more from there, into this great big cluster of confused and conflicted emotions.”

Ventus could almost see it now. Flashes of thoughts from an eternity ago.

What makes her so strong? I’d better keep an eye on her.

Kill her? That’d be a waste. Not when I can use her.

She’s down. I can finish this now. But no, it’s not the right time.

I got her. But why, why won’t she get out of my head?

I get to fight her again. Just once more.

Why does that make me so happy?

Ventus brought himself back. He hadn’t meant to delve so deep, but it happened too suddenly for him to stop. Vanitas would probably kill him for that later, but Ventus was too glad to mind at the moment. He chuckled to himself.

“You’re a real idiot, Vanitas.”

Naminé giggled somewhere in front of him. “Perhaps. But can you blame him for not understanding what his thoughts meant?”

“I guess not,” Ventus sighed. “At least now he can’t hide from it anymore.”

“You’re right about that,” Naminé beamed. “You probably know this, but even now while we’ve been talking, I can almost feel something in your heart pulsing.”

He did feel it. It might have just been embarrassment at getting found out like that, but there was more to it.

Just thinking about her, he could feel that longing ache in his heart. He was thinking back to the time they spent together, the time they got along, the time it grew into something much more.

He could feel that intense desire to see her again.

“He saved her, you know,” Ventus murmured. “That’s why he’s gone now. He knew his body wouldn’t last and he saved her anyway.”

But love wasn’t the only reason he did it. Ventus knew him better than that.

He hated himself. He weighed up whose life was worth more, and Aqua’s came out on top every time.

What he needed to realise was how much they all cared about him. And it wasn’t just Aqua. That’s why Ventus was stopping at nothing to bring him back.

“I heard he was weaker when you found him,” said Naminé. “But I think that was what really gave him a chance to grow.”

“Yeah, I did wonder about that,” Ventus mused. “Everyone else seemed fine.”

“Perhaps his form was still incomplete after his defeat at the Keyblade Graveyard,” she suggested. “It may have even been why you found him in the Realm of Darkness in the first place. Those connections I mentioned, it must have led him to all of you.”

He would never get over seeing Vanitas in that state. Seeing him struggle against normal Heartless. Watching as they targeted him nearly endlessly. Watching as his pride nearly became the end of him.

“He never really seemed to get his power back,” said Ventus. “He definitely got stronger, but it wasn’t anywhere near what he used to be.”

“I might have an idea about why that happened,” Naminé spoke. “Something strange happened when he returned, right? You started being able to sense his emotions?”

“That’s right!” Ventus exclaimed. “That was definitely new.”

It used to be the other way around, right? It’s why Vanitas seemed to know way more about Ventus than he did of him. If anything, Ventus now understood why Vanitas found him so annoying. After weeks and weeks of having to feel him pine for Aqua and not realise it, he was just about ready to smack him over the head.

“I’m not really sure what may have caused that, but I do have a theory,” Naminé continued. “I think after you defeated him at the graveyard, some part of him had broken off and became trapped in your heart. It had probably been there the entire time, and you just didn’t realise.”

Now that was a scary thought. It was one thing knowing he was there now, but Ventus shuddered at the idea of him carrying a piece of Vanitas for months without even noticing.

Then something clicked. He turned to Chirithy again.

“I get it now. Now he’s returned to me, his heart has become completely whole again.”

“Yes, that’s why we need to be careful!” Chirithy exclaimed. “His heart is complete now, meaning he’ll be more powerful than ever.”

“Chirithy.” Naminé spoke up as she turned towards them. “I know you’re worried. But you need to remember that the reason his heart is complete at all is because of the light building within. I don’t think he’ll go astray with his friends around him.”

Ventus could almost feel Vanitas scowling at that and couldn’t help but grin.

Friends, huh? That’s what we are Vanitas, like it or not.

“So, we’re in agreement!” Ventus spoke up. “He deserves to be free, so we’re gonna get him out! He deserves to have a life of his own, right?” He turned his gaze to Chirithy. “Right?”

“R-right.”

“I know you’re excited,” said Naminé. “But there are still risks you should know about. If I’m right, then that piece you had of Vanitas has been there for a long time. There’s a chance your heart may be damaged again if we aren’t careful.”

Damaged.

The word bounced around his head, dulling his excitement.

That’s what Chirithy had said, right? There was a chance he would be incomplete again. And if something went wrong, maybe he wouldn’t even recover this time.

No. The more he thought about it, the more he was willing to take the risk. He had to.

He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. It’s that or leaving him stuck inside me, and I’m sure that’s no good for anyone.”

What would they have him do otherwise? Because at the moment, that was the only other option, and it was not one he liked.

“Well then, I’m sure there’s something we can do,” Naminé told him. “I know Even has been making extra Replicas just in case we needed one to help Sora. I’m sure if we plead Vanitas’ case, they may help us.”

Replicas. That’s right. It was how Naminé was sitting here talking to him right now. As far as he knew, those bodies were identical to normal humans.

“That’s perfect!” Ventus yelled out. “Let’s go ask!”

“Pardon the intrusion.”

The voice was the only warning before the door opened a crack. While Ventus spun around to see who it was, he spotted Chirithy vanishing out of the corner of his eye. They were still as elusive as ever, leaving Ventus to wonder if they’ll ever show themself around anyone else.

His attention was back to the door when he saw Ienzo step into the room, dressed in the same lab coat as Naminé. While this wasn’t the first time he had seen him since waking, Ventus was still stunned at how big he had gotten. The person who had been a young boy when they met was now older than him. That feeling from before came back.

Ienzo. Lea. Isa. Everyone he had met on his journey had all grown up without him.

He hated thinking about what would have happened if he had slept longer. Long enough that all his friends were gone and the world around him was irreparably changed.

Yeah, he didn’t want to think about that.

But then Ienzo’s voice broke him out of his thoughts.

“I didn’t mean to disturb you, Naminé,” he began. “But they wanted your help over at the lab.”

He walked over to the couch, only to do a double take once he spotted Ventus.

Ventus grinned at him, pushing his earlier feelings down. “Hey, it’s been a while.”

It was strange how similar Ienzo still looked to that same boy from long ago. The only thing that really changed was how tall he was and how talkative he had become.

Ienzo smiled back at him. “Yes, I suppose it has. It’s good to see you again, Rox– I mean, Ventus.”

Ventus felt his smile falter, but he forced it back up.

It was just a silly mistake, that’s it. And Ienzo even seemed embarrassed about it.

“I… must apologise,” he began. “I didn’t get a close enough look earlier.”

Ventus waved him off. “Hey, it’s no big deal! I get it!”

It was still weird having a guy around who looks exactly like him. Yet another thing he didn’t like to think about very much.

“Ventus actually came here for our help,” Naminé spoke up, to Ventus’ relief. “We know Vanitas’ heart is trapped inside him, and we were hoping to get it out and into a vessel of its own.”

“Vanitas, huh?”

Ventus had to commend him for the way he absorbed all that information with little more than a thoughtful nod. He then turned to Ventus as if seeking confirmation.

“He was the dark half of your heart, correct? But something different to a Nobody.”

“Yeah,” Ventus gave an awkward laugh. “More or less.”

“Well, let’s see,” he began while deep in thought once again. “Yes, I’m sure we’ll be able to help with that. Even has been working on spare Replicas, and we could always use more data about extracting hearts.”

“It can probably be done the same way it was done for me,” added Naminé. “All we need is a Keyblade wielder willing to do the extraction, and a Replica body ready to go.”

“We should have one ready,” said Ienzo. “Although, we were planning to save it for Sora in case he needed it, we can always make another now that Even has perfected the process.”

Listening to them discuss all this was only making it feel all the more real.

It was happening. He would come back to them. Ventus could barely hold back his joy.

“And hey,” he spoke up. “If you need a Keyblade wielder, I know the perfect person to ask.”

Chapter Text

Aqua’s mug shattered on the ground by her feet. Shards flew everywhere across the kitchen floor. Scalding droplets of tea splashed her legs.

But she didn’t feel them. Even as they bled through her stockings, she paid them no mind.

Not when Ven’s words resounded in her head.

Her friend stared at her. His eyes were open wide in shock. His mouth was too. Some other words spilled out, but they didn’t reach her. He must have asked if she was okay, but she couldn’t grasp the words if he had.

No, all she could hear was…

Vanitas’ heart is inside mine. He’s okay.

She hadn’t even noticed when she started to sink to the floor, not until Ven ran over and grabbed hold of her shoulders. Tears swelled in his eyes when she finally focused on his face. Her own tears threatened to spill over as something in her chest surged.  

“Aqua,” Ven spoke, a tear finally breaking free of its confines. “He’s in here. He’s alright.”

The words finally began to click within her. They slotted into place, as if making room for the growing hope she started to feel.

“You mean,” she got out, past the lump in her throat. “He’s here?”

He nodded, and that simple movement was enough to make the joy well within her.

Of course. She should have known this was possible. He and Ven were connected, weren’t they? But after all this time had passed, after her hopes slowly started to diminish, she couldn’t bring herself to think it would happen. That he would return.

But now? If she focused, she swore she could almost feel his presence in the room. In front of her. The realisation brought a fresh wave of tears to her eyes, and she held a hand to her mouth to choke back a sob.

Ven draped his arms around her, letting her cry into his shirt. As much as she wanted to stop and compose herself, she was just too overwhelmed knowing that the one she missed so dearly was just within reach.

She could have stayed there longer, but there was no ignoring that sense of reality creeping in. After one more sob, she pulled back so she could look at him. At Ven. His eyes were rimmed red with tears, but the bright smile on his face was so unmistakably Ventus. That smile had always been something reassuring, but the longer she looked, the more it started to dawn on her.

This was Ven, right? Not…

She turned her head away and took a breath to clear her mind. Maybe it was too early to celebrate.

“It’s okay, Aqua,” she heard him speak, still doing his best to sound reassuring. “He’s here, and that’s not all–”

“How?” The question came out on its own. Aqua wasn’t even sure why she was asking. Like even after all this time, she still couldn’t grasp that they were once two parts of the same whole. She grimaced to herself and tried again. “I mean… when did this happen?”

Ven froze in front of her, and a flare of alarm started to rise within her, but he recovered before she could really question his response.

“I…,” he began. “I think it must have happened sometime after the Realm of Darkness. After everything calmed down, I started noticing things were weird and…”

His words had trailed off while he sat in front of her, rubbing the back of his head. But Aqua’s mind was stuck on something he said. And then he wouldn’t look at her in the eye.

“You started noticing…” she repeated. “What do you mean?”

She had to know more. Just how strong was his presence? Could he just sense he was there, or could they even talk? Was he listening now as they spoke?

“I… uh…”

Something was wrong. He still wouldn’t look at her. From the way he was talking, it was almost like…

“Ven,” she spoke, trying to steady herself. She had a gut feeling she knew what his guilt was from, but she hoped she was wrong. “How long have you known he was in there?”

He froze again and something in her heart broke.

“Um…” Ven rubbed the back of his head again. “I… wasn’t sure until maybe a few days ago.”

A few… what?

“You…” she murmured. Her head fell to her hand as she tried to find the words. “You knew he was there. For a few days. And didn’t tell me.”

“Aqua–”

“Why?” she shouted, snapping her head up to glare at him. “Why would you keep something like that from me?”

She hadn’t meant to yell at Ven, that was the last thing she wanted to do, but she couldn’t help it now. All the grief she was forced to carry was coming to the surface and now, she wanted answers. She needed to know why Ven kept her in the dark.

The worst part about this was that she knew. Some part of her deep down had already known all along that he had returned to Ven in some way. Something weird had been going on with him for weeks now, but she didn’t dare think that it was something like this. Even when she caught him staring at her, caught him with a painfully familiar expression, she couldn’t even consider it.

Because she thought for sure that if Vanitas had appeared in his heart, Ven would have told her.

She could see the guilt eating away at him. She felt vile for even holding this anger in the first place. But it was getting harder to hold it back.

“I’m sorry,” he finally got out. From his face and his voice, she could tell he was on the brink of tears. “I… I wanted to, but–”

“Do you have… any idea what it’s been like?” she spoke, her voice starting to shake. “I thought I was finally ready to move on. I’d already accepted that if there was any chance of him coming back, it would have happened by now.”

“Aqua…”

She stared straight through him. “These few weeks, you… reminded me so much of him. I thought I was going crazy. I felt awful, Ven! You mean so much to me, and it was like my mind was just willing to replace you with him. I hated myself for it!”

Ven was her friend. One of her dearest friends. But her heart wanted someone else to be there.

It disgusted her. She was despicable. The worst kind of friend someone could be.

And now she was just taking out her frustration on him.

Ven stared at her with the most haunted look in his eye. Like she had just spoken his worst fears. Tears started to stream down his face.

Her heart clenched at the sight. Why did she say something so horrible?

“Ven…” she began, but whatever else she wanted to say got caught in her throat. What could she say?

He clenched his eyes shut and wiped at his face. But before she could even try to comfort him, he snapped back up to look at her. Resolve burned in his eyes, shining through even the tears.

“I’m… not Vanitas,” he got out. “I’m still me. I’m still Ventus. I always have been. It’s just sometimes… parts of him seep through. I can’t stop it and it’s only getting harder and harder. That’s why we need to help him. That’s what I’ve been doing this whole time! I’ve been trying to find a way to help him! To help you!”

Aqua felt like garbage. Like her heart was rotten to the core. Almost like when…

No. She needed to get a hold of herself. She couldn’t let herself fall again.

“Hey!” came a voice from outside the room. “What’s going on in there?”

The door to the kitchen swung open and Terra peered inside. No words needed to be exchanged to know what was going on. He took one look at the tear-filled expressions of both his friends, one look at the smashed mug, and it was like all the pieces fell in place.

He rushed into the room and crouched between them. A hand dropped on each of their shoulders.

“Hey, talk to me. Did you guys have an argument?”

Aqua stared up at him. “Did you know?”

From the way he stiffened under her glare, she already had her answer.

“Aqua, listen–”

“I told him,” Ven spoke up. “And I made him promise not to tell you. He wanted to go to you right away, but I made him promise not to.”

“Why?” Aqua got out. “I don’t understand. Why keep it from me?”

“Ven, didn’t you want to make sure something could be done?” Terra offered. “That’s why I agreed to it for now, at least until you got back.”

“Got back?”

The Radiant Garden trip. Of course. She was so stupid.

She wanted to laugh, but any attempt turned bitter in her mouth. “So, you lied to me? You told me you were going to check on the search.”

“I didn’t have a choice, Aqua!”

“Yes, you did!” she shouted. “You could have told me the truth!”

“No, I couldn’t have!”

“Why–”

“Because he didn’t want me to!”

Ven’s voice thundered throughout the room, silencing everything else. Aqua stared at him, watching as his face simmered in frustration. He locked eyes with hers, and his expression scared her.

She had never seen him this angry.

“I don’t think you understand…” he began. “Just what these weeks have been like for me. No, never mind the weeks, these months! Even when he was still here, he was always, constantly in my head! Do you have any idea what it’s like to think or feel something, and have no idea if it’s even coming from you? And since he disappeared, it’s even worse! I thought I’d be okay with it, but I’m not! Sometimes, I even wish he would just disappear completely, but I know how much that would hurt you!”

“Hey, Ven…” Even Terra was shaken by the outburst. But Ven didn’t acknowledge him. He only looked at Aqua.

“I haven’t been able to sleep at all recently, did you know that?” Ven continued. “Because he would always be there. But even then, I still can’t talk with him properly. Do you know how frustrating that is? He never wants to speak to me on my own terms, but he’s always ready to send whatever vicious thoughts he has my way.”

“Ven!”

Terra went to grab hold of his shoulders, only for Ven to smack him away. Aqua caught the hurt expression on Terra’s face before he hid it.

“Ven.”

She didn’t even hear herself speak. But she must have. Or he wouldn’t have glanced up at her like that.

Then, as if all the anger had been drained away, his face began to crumble. His body hunched over itself, his hands gripped at his head. Aqua heard the unmistakable sounds of sobbing coming from him.

“I’m…” he got out. “I’m sorry. I… don’t even know if this anger is mine. I’m so sorry.”

Hearing his voice break like that, Aqua felt herself move without thinking. She charged towards him, cooling tea soaking into her stockings as she swept him up in her arms.

“No, Ven…” she spoke as her arms circled his head, her fingers curling into his hair. “I’m the one who should be sorry. I… didn’t realise. I didn’t even think–”

“I need to get him out,” Ven murmured, his head pressed into her shoulder. “That’s why I came to you now. They found a way. I thought you would be happy.”

She tugged herself away, just enough to look at him. “They found a way? At Radiant Garden?”

Ven nodded. “Replicas. If we can extract his heart from mine, we can put it inside one of them. Then, it’ll be like he’s completely human.”

Human. Something in Aqua wanted to argue that he was already human, but the idea of him having a physical form again was incredible enough to hold it back.

But her mind was caught on another word Ven used, one that stopped her from being completely overjoyed.

“Extract…” She mouthed the word, hating how it felt. “But, if we do that, what’ll happen to you?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Ven said quickly. “I don’t care what happens to me, I can’t live like this anymore. I can’t keep fighting with myself like this.”

Aqua shook her head. “But it does matter. I… won’t do this if it’ll hurt you. You mean so much to me, Ven.”

“Vanitas means more.”

She froze.

Is that what he thought?

“No,” she spoke. “Ven, no, you can’t think that.”

Had she ever told him what he meant to her? Did he feel pushed to the side while Vanitas was here? That was the last thing she ever wanted him to feel.

“Ven, listen to me,” she began, turning his head so he would look at her. “I love you so much. You mean the world to me, and I never wanted you to get hurt. I’m so sorry if I ever made you feel like I didn’t care about you.”

It may have been a different kind of love, but she loved him regardless. Terra too. The two of them were her family, and without them she would be completely lost. Yet somehow, she had failed to make that clear to them, and she had no one to blame but herself.

She heard Ven choke back a sob. It was getting harder to hold back her own tears too.

“Ven,” Terra spoke cautiously as he reached for him again. Ven didn’t shake him away this time as he placed a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry too. I should have realised what you were going through.”

He shook his head again. “It’s okay. It doesn’t excuse how I’ve been treating you lately. Both of you. I… shouldn’t have let it get this bad. I should have told you sooner.”

“We’re here for you, Ven,” Aqua told him. “You don’t need to go through this on your own anymore.”

From that point on, they would always be there for each other. She would make sure of it.

Ven glanced up at her. “So, you’ll help? We kinda need a Keyblade wielder.”

She smiled at him. “Of course. But… only if you’re sure. I don’t want to hurt you.”

Ven’s comatose face still haunted her. She willed it out of her mind for now, knowing Ven wouldn’t want her to remember him like that.

“I’ll find someone else if you don’t wanna do it,” he told her. “I just thought you were the best person for the job. I trust you, Aqua. I know it’ll be fine if it’s you.”

“I can’t really think of anyone better either,” Terra added. “Of course, I would do it, but I don’t think Vanitas will be as happy to see me.”

Aqua huffed at the knowing look he gave her and lightly shoved him away. He only smiled back at her, unbothered.

It had been far too long since they had a moment like this.

“Okay then,” she said as she pulled herself up. “Of course I’ll help. Tell me what I need to do.”

As Ven explained the process, while she knew he was downplaying the dangers, Aqua couldn’t help but feel hopeful. This could be it. This could be the end of it, and she wouldn’t need to grieve any more.

She was already imagining what would happen once he returned. Once he stood in front of her again, grinning in that way that made her heart skip a beat. When that happened, she wouldn’t hesitate any longer.

She would tell him everything she felt.

“Alright,” Terra spoke up. “Let’s all go this time. I never want to leave the two of you alone again.”

Aqua couldn’t help by agree. She was done trying to do things on her own and she was sure Ven felt the same.

There was no more time to waste. Once the mess in the kitchen was cleaned up, the three of them donned their armour and headed off on their Keyblade Gliders. Ven was the one to lead the way, Aqua following close behind, and Terra at their rear. Aqua stared ahead at Ven as they flew and tried to imagine what he was thinking. Especially about the things she said to him. There really hadn’t been any time to process the fight they had, or really any chance for her to apologise properly. She didn’t even think words were enough to make up for the horrendous things she told him, and the guilt ate away at her heart. Flying through the silence of the Lanes Between only made the gnawing grow louder.

But she was sure Ven would tell her that she’s being ridiculous. That he knows she was going through a rough time, and he already forgave her. Like his own pain didn’t matter.

I haven’t been able to sleep at all recently, did you know that?

Aqua would be a real fool if she hadn’t noticed his insomnia, but until then, he would always shrug it off and give one of his classic smiles while saying everything was fine. It was almost mutually acknowledged that no one in that castle managed to sleep. Maybe that’s why she hadn’t really talked to him about it. Not when she had her own sleeplessness to deal with.

She really was an awful friend.

When they finally landed in the square just outside the castle gates, Aqua stopped herself from looking around and turned her gaze to Ven instead. He had taken his helmet off already, but his expression was blank, unnerving. He hadn’t noticed her staring yet.

“Ven?”

Just like that, the look disappeared at the sound of his name, replaced by his usual beaming smile.

“Hey, don’t worry, okay?” he told her. “Everything will be fine. Just trust me.”

All Aqua could do was smile back. To reassure him. To reassure herself.

With each step towards the castle, Aqua grew more and more nervous. It was a combination of things; anticipation, worry something would go wrong, worry over something bad happening to Ven. Her worst nightmare was her friend getting hurt due to her own selfishness.

But she had to push forward. Ven was already determined to free himself of that extra heart inside him, and the least she could do was help.

After all, she was the reason he was suffering so much.

“Hello. I’m glad you all could make it.”

Aqua had barely noticed when Naminé appeared in front of them at the castle doors. She was a welcome sight, especially after knowing everything she had done for them. Terra was the first to step towards her. Of course, he had the most to be grateful for, as it was with her assistance that he made it back to his body.

“It’s good to see you Naminé,” he said. “Ven mentioned that you were helping out over here now, and I can’t imagine anyone better for the job.”

Her cheeks turned pink at the compliment. “Thank you, but I’m not the only one helping. Ienzo arranged a lot of it.” She looked towards Aqua and Ven. “And of course, none of this would even be possible without you. We’ll all do our best to get him back, okay?”

Aqua felt as if Naminé’s words were more directed at her. She probably shouldn’t underestimate her; it was likely she knew far more than she let on. Maybe Aqua didn’t fully understand her powers, but she didn’t need to, not when she offered her help like this.

Still, the smile she gave her was starting to make her self-conscious. Aqua cleared her throat.

“We really appreciate the help,” she told her. “Please, if there’s anything I can do to make it up to you…”

She was cut off my Naminé shaking her head. “Don’t worry about that. I’m just happy to help out.” She nodded towards the castle. “Well, shall we?”

The group followed her as she led them inside and down a series of hallways. Ven, and even Terra seemed to know where to go, but Aqua had yet to really explore the castle. Judging from the hasty patch jobs along the walls and the leaking pipes, it had clearly seen better days, but she couldn’t really expect the place to be immaculate after falling to darkness the way it did.

“Hey, Naminé?” Ven spoke up as they walked. “Is Kairi still–”

“Yes,” she answered, taking a moment to look back at him. “It’s why we couldn’t use the bigger research study, but that shouldn’t be a problem.”

Kairi. It seemed like she was still sleeping. Aqua just hoped that they could find any sort of clue about Sora’s whereabouts. It’s what she was supposed to be doing, but here she was dealing with something unrelated. Taking the time and resources of these researchers.

She shook her head. It was too late to feel guilty about that now. Besides, all this may end up helping somehow. Even if it was just to have another person looking.

When Naminé pushed open the door to the study, Aqua had to stop herself gasping at what lay in the centre of the room. Strapped onto some sort of operating table was what looked like a body, covered by a white sheet. It lay there, completely unmoving. The sight unnerved her. What lay there was just a blank, lifeless doll, but soon…

Naminé stepped in front of her, giving her a look of sympathy. Maybe she saw how rattled she was. “We’ll just need to wait a moment longer,” she said. “Ienzo just needs to return first, but we’ll be able to start soon after.”

Aqua felt Ven stiffen beside her. He was staring in the direction of the Replica and was now almost as still as it was. She wanted to say something to him, but then Terra placed a hand on her shoulder before she could.

“It’ll be fine,” he murmured to her. “You know he wants to do this.”

“I know,” she said under her breath. “I just wish there was some other way. I don’t want to see him hurt again.”

“Hey guys,” Ven turned around to face them. “I can hear you. You don’t need to talk like I’m not here. We’re doing this, okay?”

He pushed a smile to his face, but Aqua could still see how anxious he was. When this was all over, she would make it up to him somehow. She swore it.

She thought over what she needed to do. There was no room for mistakes. When she sifted through his heart, she would be more careful than she had ever been in her life. She would have the both of them back, whole and unbroken, no matter what it took.

Naminé was making herself busy examining a machine they had next to the Replica, probably something for checking vitals. Aqua stepped over, curious about how it worked, but before she could ask, they heard voices coming from the corridor outside. The group turned to the door just as two older men in lab coats stormed inside. Ienzo followed close behind, almost scrambling after them.

“Master Ansem,” he called out. “Even. Just a moment.”

The two men ignored him, their attention solely on the group in front of them. As they stopped, Aqua caught eyes with Ansem the Wise and watched as he nodded at her in acknowledgement. She should have greeted him, but something about his expression prevented her. This man had always seemed serious, but now he had strolled in like the bearer of bad news. Her stomach dropped, and they hadn’t even spoken yet.

The other man, Even, was the first to speak up. “Ienzo has told us that you intend to perform an experiment,” he began. “You wish to grant Vanitas a vessel of his own, is that correct?”

Aqua looked at him. She hadn’t really had a chance to speak to Even before now, but he appeared just as grim as his superior.

“Yes,” Aqua spoke without hesitating. “We were told it could be done with the help of Keyblade and a Replica body. And that you would be able to help us.”

“Naminé,” Ansem the Wise spoke up. Aqua saw her jolt out of the corner of her eye. “Have you explained to them the dangers of such an endeavour?”

The girl shrunk back, now almost looking like a cornered animal. Aqua caught sight of her growing panic and looked back to Ansem in disapproval. She shouldn’t be scolded like that. Yes, of course they knew the dangers, it was why she was so scared in the first place.

“Wait a minute, Master Ansem,” Ienzo spoke up, positioning himself in front of Naminé. Judging from the mood in the room, Aqua could tell that if he hadn’t, someone else would have shielded her instead. “I was the one who approved the experiment. Any concerns should come to me.”

“And did Naminé ever explain to you just what Vanitas is? I highly doubt you would have approved of it if you had known.”

Ienzo faltered at that. He opened his mouth, only to close it again and sink into his shoulders. But while this was going on, Aqua found herself growing frustrated.

What did they even mean by that? They weren’t seriously holding his time as one of Xehanort’s pawns over him, right?

“Is there a problem?” she asked, trying to keep the edge out of her voice. “We came here because we thought you could help us. Are you able to or not?”

“It’s not a matter of ability, Master Aqua,” Ansem spoke, turning to her again. “It’s a matter of whether or not this is a wise course of action.”

Just hearing those words, Aqua felt her anger rise up within her.

A wise course of action?

“What are you talking about?”

Ven had spoken up before she got the chance. A quick glance at his face showed his own anger bubbling to the surface. But it was all through his voice, she didn’t even need to see him to know. Ansem the Wise had looked over too, and all he could do was stare down the poisonous look he was being given.

“You must have known, Ventus,” he spoke. “About the dangers Vanitas poses if he were to return to full strength. He is not a Nobody, nor is he merely a wayward heart. He is an embodiment of Darkness itself, correct?”

Darkness?

Aqua blinked as the word reached her ear. At first, it seemed silly to even mention. She already knew Vanitas was a being of darkness, with him being the dark half of Ven’s heart and everything. But there was something about the way he said it that gave it too much gravity.

“What does that matter?” Ven yelled out. That settled it. There must have been something else to it if he was getting this upset. “I’ve said it a million times, but I’ll say it again! Vanitas is a person! We’re going to help him and nothing you say will change that!”

“I’ll admit,” Even spoke up. “We have heard tales of his improvement, something quite extraordinary for someone of his nature. However, as Master Ansem has stated, he is no mere wayward heart. He is a force of devastation and destruction, and you want us to grant him a physical form once again?”

Aqua couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Just listening to them talk like that, like Vanitas was some kind of monster instead of a person, it was enough to make the hope she had built up start to crumble. But it didn’t leave her feeling helpless.

No. She felt angry. Her fingernails bit into her palm as she tried to quell that emotion. She could blow up like Ven, but she was supposed to be the responsible one. It killed her, but she had to remain calm.

But weren’t they supposed to be helping him? Why had they even come all this way?

Were they the only ones that had faith in him?

“Then what do you expect us to do?” Ven shouted again. He swatted at his chest. “You want me to just leave him in here?”

“If you still wish to perform the extraction,” said Even. “We will be more than happy to help contain him. He is quite an interesting specimen, and it would be a shame to let him disappear entirely.”

Aqua saw red. She moved towards him, her Keyblade aching to come to the surface.

But Terra stepped in front of her before she could do something she would regret. He held out his arm to her and one glance from him was enough to halt the storm brewing within her heart. Now, she was left with the feeling of shame hitting her.

She needed to control herself.

“He’s too dangerous, huh?” Terra spoke, turning back to the scientists. “Couldn’t you say the same for anyone else who was in the Organization?”

A handful of people in the room flinched at that.

“Yes,” Even began, having already wiped the guilt from his face. “But you must understand. The circumstances here are different.”

“How many second chances have we given to beings of darkness before?” Terra asked. “What exactly is so different this time?”

“Young man,” Ansem spoke up. “It is not the same thing. You are asking us to place the worlds in danger once again.”

Terra scoffed. “Really? Tell me, is that how you saw it when the other former Organization members returned? Because I know there are some of you here who did things you regret, don’t try to say otherwise.” He paused to stare them down. “And what about me? Xehanort once possessed me and used my body to threaten the worlds. He caused so much pain and destruction, and he used me to do it. How do you know something like that won’t happen again?”

Aqua jolted at his words. “Terra?”

He flicked his eyes towards Aqua for a split second before continuing. “He used me for over a decade. Even now, there are times I wonder if he’s even really gone. It’s like he carved out this big space in my heart, and I wonder how little it would take for that space to be filled with darkness again.”

Terra had a hand clenched over his chest. He almost looked in pain, just remembering. Aqua reached for him, watching as Ven did the same, but then Terra looked up at the people in the room again.

“But you know what,” he smiled. “I think I’ll be alright. I know for a fact that my friends wouldn’t let me fall again. And I think we can say the same thing for Vanitas.”

“Terra.”

Someone said his name. Aqua was sure it was Ven.

“Sure, he might not be the most pleasant person to be around,” Terra shrugged. “He’s definitely given me a lot of grief since he started living with us. But I don’t think we need to fear him. Not when he threw himself into danger without a second thought and gave his life for the people he cared about. I think that alone means he’s more than deserving of a second chance.”

The room was dead silent. The scientists studied him, sifting through what he just told them. Naminé had a hand over her mouth, her eyes shining with tears.

Aqua could only stare at her friend in awe. He said himself that they didn’t get along, and yet he still came to his defence like this. Despite all the bad blood between them, even he had seen the good in him. And yet, all she could do was stand there.

She needed to defend him too. Or what would be the point of these feelings?

“Ansem the Wise,” she spoke up, steadying herself. “Even. With all due respect, I don’t think you know what you’re talking about. You didn’t see him after we found him. You’ve never really spoken to him. Yes, he may be rough around the edges, and yes, we were enemies at one point, but like so many of us, it was all because he was being manipulated by Xehanort.”

It was all that man’s fault. Everything. Everything bad that ever happened to them was because of that monster.

None of it was Vanitas’ fault.

“But you know what,” she continued, fighting back tears. She wouldn’t let herself cry in front of them. “Now, he’s found his own reasons to live. He had only just started being a person and not a tool, and it was taken away from him before he could really start to enjoy it. Because of me.”

She could sense her friends starting to protest, but she kept going.

“So, as his Master, his friend, his…” she trailed off, unable to put words to it. She was terrified they wouldn’t take her seriously if they saw her as some lovesick fool. “It’s my duty to bring him back to us and make sure he finally gets the chance to live his own life. I won’t let anything get in the way of that.”

Her final words were laced with a threat, and she hoped they knew that. If it came down to it, she would take that Replica and flee, and she was sure Ven and Terra would be close behind. Consequences be damned, she wasn’t going to let them stop her from bringing him back.

“Master Aqua,” Ansem the Wise spoke up again, almost cautiously. “I understand you feel responsibility for his passing. And perhaps you’re right. Perhaps he had started to change. But the risks…”

She snapped her eyes up to look at him. “Then I’ll take care of it. I already said I would take full responsibility for him, and that hasn’t changed. If you’re right and he really is dangerous…” She paused to gather herself before speaking again. “Then as a Keyblade Master, I will take care of him. You have my word.”

It felt like an eternity ago that she made a similar promise. After they first pulled him from the Realm of Darkness, snarling and furious, she was ready to take action if she needed to. But she had always clung onto the hope that it wouldn’t come to that. If she had hope back then, there was no reason not to have hope now.

Not after everything they had been through.

“…I see,” Ansem said, taking a step back. “Then, there’s no changing your mind?”

Her eyes didn’t move from him. “We will help him. If you refuse, then we’ll just find some other way.”

“You truly are commendable, Master Aqua,” he mused. “The lengths you would go to for a friend, even one you had once called an enemy. If only more people had your compassion.”

She held her gaze steady. If there was any time to put on the air of a Keyblade Master, it was now. He needed to see her headstrong, not desperate.

But then Ansem shut his eyes and sighed.

“Very well,” he spoke. “I give you permission to use one of our Replica bodies to revive him.”

Aqua gasped at what he told her.

“Master Ansem,” Even spoke up before she could absorb it. “I try not to question your judgement, but are you certain?”

“I would like to have faith in these young people,” Ansem said without turning to him. “I have been proven wrong time and time again. What’s once more?”

When he smiled at her, despite her earlier resolve, nothing would stop the tears breaking free now. Nothing would stop her own smile from forming.

“Thank you,” she told him. She meant it.

Without warning, Ven ran over and wrapped his arms around her. She was too stunned to respond immediately, but even so, it wasn’t long before her own arms were wrapped around her friend.

“It’s happening,” he murmured against her. “We’re going to help him.”

His tears soaked into her shoulder. She let out a sob of her own as she reached up to stroke his hair. Terra’s arms were wrapped around them too soon enough. The three of them stood there together, Aqua listening for the occasional sniffle. But they had a job to do, so she did what she could to compose herself again.

“Yeah,” she spoke as she pulled away. “He’ll come back.”

They still needed a short time to get things ready. While they had the body, Ienzo and Naminé explained that there was a series of checks they needed to do first to ensure things went smoothly. Ansem and Even had left at some point, but not before telling them they would be back shortly to check the progress. This left Aqua with time to think everything over.

She tried pushing her worries down, but they would always resurface. Thoughts like whether it would work or whether he would still be himself when he came back. She knew it was silly to worry about that, seeing as several people had gone through this same process and turned out fine, but there was nothing she could do to shake the lingering fear in her head. She hadn’t believed what the scientists told her about him being dangerous, but their scepticism had been just enough to shake her.

Ven shuffled beside her. He had stood next to her the entire time, and his presence was doing wonders to calm her. But she still felt guilty. After all, he was the one who would be affected the most by this. He was the one getting his heart probed after all.

As she was about to say something encouraging to him, Terra rejoined them after having a brief conversation with Naminé. She wasn’t sure what they had talked about, but it didn’t look serious and seemed to be as simple as two friends catching up. Aqua appreciated the levity it gave to the tension in the room.

“How are you guys holding up?” Terra asked them. His concern should have been on Ven, but Aqua could tell he was asking her too.

She smiled at him. “It’ll be fine. I’m more worried about–”

“Don’t even say it, Aqua,” Ven cut in. “I just can’t believe they tried to say no.”

Their warnings still clung to the edge of her thoughts, despite her efforts to ignore them. Because it was ridiculous. They were just scared of his past actions, even though they all should know full well that it wasn’t his fault. That’s all it was and that was why it was stupid to ponder it any longer.

“I’m sure we would have figured something out,” said Terra. “I mean Aqua here looked ready to grab the Replica and go.”

She flushed. She hadn’t been that transparent, had she?

“Excuse me.”

The group looked up to see Ienzo approaching them. “Sorry to interrupt, but we’ve completed our preparations. You should be able to extract the heart now.”

Aqua felt her stomach flip. This was it. She turned to Ven and did her best to force her nerves down. He looked back at her with a smile as she expected, but it was hard to ignore his own worry bleeding through.

“Ven,” she spoke, quietly so only he could hear. “Are you sure you’re okay with this? We can find another–”

“Aqua,” he interrupted. “I’ll be fine. We’re doing this. And I think you’re the best one for the job. He’ll be the happiest to see you.”

She knew deep down he was right, but that didn’t make her any less nervous. After one last breath to steady herself, she summoned her Keyblade. It flashed into her hand, and she gripped the handle tighter than she needed to. She already knew what she had to do, she just hoped it didn’t hurt Ven in the process. She didn’t know if she could live with herself if that happened.

“Do it, Aqua,” he told her. He must have seen her hesitate.

Terra brushed a reassuring hand against her shoulder as he stepped out of the way. There was no reason to stall any longer. She gave the best smile she could to Ven before concentrating. All the needed to do was bring all of her memories of Vanitas to the surface. Let her heart connect with his.

Now, she was ready. The tip of her Keyblade glowed before shooting a beam of light at Ven. He flinched as it hit, but he recovered, giving her an encouraging smile before she had the chance to falter.

Aqua smiled back at him before closing her eyes and allowing herself to be drawn within.

***

It was warm. So warm.

Aqua hovered in the void, taking in her surroundings. The only thing she could see was the platform below her, shining with a bright white light that made it impossible to make out any details. She let herself float downwards until her feet connected with the floor, but she was sure she could have floated up again easily if she allowed herself.

She stared into the light, doing her best to see through it. This platform was meant to depict whatever lay in a person’s heart. She should be seeing the visage of Ven or even Vanitas there, but there was nothing but that glowing white.

But that warmth still enveloped her, as if welcoming her. Just a little more, right? She reached out in front of her, willing thoughts of Vanitas into her head.

The times they trained, the times they laughed, the times they held each other. She fought down whatever feeling of embarrassment she had and just focused on the affection she felt.

She would never take those moments for granted again.

Her Keyblade appeared in her hand. Her body already knew what to do. She pointed it downwards and shot off a beam of light. A light to call him home.

The light shattered the darkness of the void around her, almost more blinding than the platform had been. Aqua closed her eyes on instinct, but the warmth rushing over her was too comforting for her to be afraid. When her eyes opened, when she saw what lay in front of her, she could have cried out from joy.

Around where she stood, the platform had been revealed. An image of Vanitas lay upon it, his eyes shut in repose. And in front of her…

“Van!”

She called out his name. Called out the name of the figure standing on the platform, staring at her. Fighting back tears, she reached a hand towards him. He did the same. His expression was unreadable, almost lost in the haze of the light, but there was no mistaking that tiny smile on his lips.

As her hand reached his, as she felt his grasp hers, a voice filled the air just as everything dissolved into white.

“Aqua…”

***

Aqua opened her eyes to find herself standing in the study once again. Ven was in front of her, his eyes still shut. Her Keyblade hovered in the air between them, and she flashed it away the moment she became aware of it.

“Ven!” she called out, leaping towards him. “Are you okay? How are you feeling?”

Relief washed over her as his eyes started to open. Terra rushed over to support him from behind, and she could tell he had been about to ask the same questions. Ven blinked away the light of the room, a hand reaching to his face to block it out. He looked almost fatigued, but he was still standing at least.

“I’m okay,” he said after a while. “Just… feel a little weird. I think I just need to sit down.”

The longer she watched him, the paler he seemed. Terra grabbed hold of him a little tighter.

“I’ve got you,” he told him before starting to ease him towards an empty chair. Aqua watched as he sat, but as she went to follow, Ienzo approached her.

“There’s no need to worry,” he said. “The extraction appears to be a success. It shouldn’t be long now before he wakes up.”

Aqua spun towards the Replica body, still covered by the sheet. It hadn’t moved an inch.

“So… it worked?”

Ven’s voice sounded far too weak. She turned back to him, alarm already rushing over her. He was looking at her, but his eyes seemed far too hazy. The only thing really holding him upright now was Terra.

The world spun. She had to stop herself from crying out. Panicking would only make things worse. But she wanted to throw up.

No… She hurt him… She didn’t want to, but she hurt him!

Naminé ran over, crouching beside him. Aqua could only watch, apologies caught in her throat. Her body was frozen. She couldn’t even go over there and check if he was okay.

“He’s just exhausted,” Naminé announced after placing a hand on his face like checking for fever. “I can’t sense any lasting damage, but it’s too soon to tell. All he needs right now is rest.” She turned to look at Aqua directly. “He will be okay.”

She was trying to reassure her, but all Aqua could see was Ven struggling to keep his eyes open.

“I’ll take him somewhere he can lie down,” said Terra, getting ready to pick him up. But Ven brushed him away.

“Guys, I’m fine,” he told them. “I just need a minute.”

“Ven,” Aqua finally got out. She stepped closer to him. He watched her as she reached towards him and did his best to smile at her.

“I promise, I’ll be fine,” he said. “I knew it wouldn’t be easy. And hey, Ienzo said it worked. We should be happy right now.”

“I won’t be happy unless you’re okay,” she spoke. “I never wanted you to get hurt over this.”

“It would have hurt more to do nothing. Believe me.”

She did. She knew this hadn’t been a difficult decision for him, but still…

“Hey, Ven,” Terra spoke up. “I still think you should rest a bit. You can walk there if you like. I won’t carry you unless I think I need to.”

“Terra’s right,” Naminé added. “Rest will help your body recover. There should be a furnished room just down the hall that you can use. Rest up there, and we’ll come get you if anything happens.”

“But…”

“Come on, you heard her,” Terra said, helping Ven to his feet. “And besides, we should probably give them some privacy.”

He turned to Aqua and winked at her. She just did her best not to blush, but she swore she heard Naminé stifle a giggle.

Ven looked as if he wanted to argue again, but then he sighed and pulled himself to his feet. Terra held onto him the entire time. It was slow going, but he eventually let Terra led him to the door. He glanced back at Aqua one last time.

“Don’t worry about me, alright?” he told her. “I already kinda feel better. Lighter.”

Aqua clenched a hand against her chest. That’s right. Even though it seemed painful now, this must have been such a relief for him. And it meant that she shouldn’t regret anything, right?

But even if things had gone wrong, Ven would never blame her for it.

“Take care of yourself, okay?” she said to him. “And please, tell us if you’re hurting.”

“Me too,” Terra added beside him. “No more hiding.”

Ven nodded. “Yeah, got it. I won’t be keeping things from you guys anymore.”

The two left the room not long after. Aqua watched as the door shut closed behind them. Ven needed to be okay.

Naminé stepped over and placed a hand on her back.

“You did good, Aqua,” she said. “I know you’re worried, but this will all work out, I promise.”

Aqua took a moment to breathe. Naminé was right. She just needed to calm down and have a little faith.

“I suppose I’d better inform the others,” Ienzo spoke up. He too started heading for the door. “Please, let us know the moment he wakes. It shouldn’t be too much longer.”

She turned back to the Replica, fighting down her nerves to do so.

Right. It wouldn’t be long now.

“We’ll take care of it Ienzo,” Naminé told him, and he nodded in response. Once he left, she made her way to the operating table and gestured for Aqua to come closer. But she felt herself start to panic again.

Nothing had changed. He was as still as he was when she first got there. Was something supposed to happen by now? No, she needed to calm down. Naminé wouldn’t be so relaxed if something went wrong.

“There’s no need to be scared,” said Naminé. “I’m sure he’ll be happy to see you. I’m just worried this might all be overwhelming for him.”

Aqua stretched a hand out over the body, but she pulled it back before it could reach him.

“What about Ven?” she asked. “Will he be okay?”

“He will be fine. He’s so much stronger than any of us give him credit for.”

She was right about that. And she hated that it had to be that way. He had gone through so much. The least he deserved was a break.

“Are you worried about what the others said before?”

Aqua looked up at her in surprise, catching the more serious look she had on her face. She had almost forgotten in the wake of Ven nearly collapsing, but it had still stuck in her mind.

She watched Naminé’s expression. “Should I be?”

Naminé thought it over for a moment. “…No. I don’t think so.”

“I… don’t really understand what they were even talking about,” said Aqua. “I’m not stupid. I know what Vanitas is, but they were making it sound like…”

She wasn’t even sure. At first, it seemed like they were just scared of what he was in the past, but there must have been something more to it.

And the way they said ‘Darkness’, like it was some other kind of entity all together.

“It’s… complicated,” Naminé said after a while. “Let’s just say that there’s a lot we don’t really know about his origins.”

Aqua raised an eyebrow. “I thought… he was just Ven’s darkness.”

“Darkness doesn’t usually have the strength to form its own identity like that. That’s what scares them. There’s a chance that his strength comes from something else that we don’t fully understand.”

What she was saying, it didn’t make any sense.

“Naminé,” she swallowed. “What do you mean?”

She shook her head. “I understand their fear, but I still stand by what I said. I don’t think we need to worry about him anymore. Whatever he was in the past, he’s something completely different now.”

“Different?”

Naminé smiled at her. “He’s human. That fragment of a heart he once was has completely filled out thanks to you and your friends. What he used to be is irrelevant now that he’s whole.”

At her words, Aqua couldn’t help but smile along. Knowing that she had helped him become whole in some way made her really happy. And having Naminé confirm that he was human, something she believed all along, filled her with joy.

No matter what happened in the past, now they only needed to look forward to the future.

Just as she was about to express her gratitude to her, Aqua heard the door to the study push open.

“Aqua!”

She recognised the voice before seeing him. Sure enough, as soon as she turned around, she saw Mickey standing by the entrance, his ears perking up as he saw her.

“Mickey?” Aqua questioned as she made her way over to him. While she would normally be happy to see him, the timing now was just a little weird. Her apprehension grew as she got closer and saw that he seemed more relieved than glad to see her. Like something had shaken him, and he rushed over to check things were okay.

“Your Majesty?” Naminé spoke up too. “We were just in the middle of–”

His head flicked towards the table, and there was no mistaking the alarm.

“I know,” he said as he turned back to Aqua. “I ran into Ven and Terra on the way here. I heard what happened and I’m just sorry I couldn’t get here sooner.”

There were so many things he could be referring to. The accident. The experiment. Aqua tried to shake away the thought that he had come to stop them.

“It’s okay,” she told him. “I know you’ve been busy with the search. I should be the one who’s sorry for not helping very much recently.”

“Aww, I wouldn’t worry about that,” he assured her. “It sounded like you went through something pretty tough.”

Tough was an understatement. She had crumbled over it. Some Master she was.

“But Aqua,” Mickey continued. “I was really hoping I’d get the chance to talk to you, if that’s alright?”

He turned his gaze back to the Replica. Aqua swallowed.

If Mickey saw her uneasiness, he didn’t acknowledge it. “So…” he began. “That’s him, right?”

Aqua could tell he had more to say, and she knew she wouldn’t like any of it. Dealing with Ansem and Even earlier was already enough.

“I want to talk to you alone, if that’s okay,” he continued, turning to face her again. “It’ll just take a minute. I know you’re in the middle of something.”

“I am,” she blurted out. She hadn’t meant for her words to come across as biting as they had, but there was no use worrying about it now. “If you want to talk, we can do it here.”

He frowned. “I… would rather not.”

“Then it can wait.”

Whatever he wanted to say, she didn’t want to hear it. She was tired of everyone trying to tell her this was a bad idea or how dangerous he was. She was sick of it. And besides, it was done. If there were any consequences, she would be ready for them.

“Maybe you should come back later, Your Majesty,” Naminé spoke up. “I don’t think Aqua wants to leave just yet.”

“Gosh, I’m really sorry for interrupting,” Mickey spoke, not looking at either of them. “But it’s important. Master Yen Sid even sent me here.”

Hearing that left her stunned, but deep down she knew she shouldn’t be surprised. Of course he wasn’t here of his own accord. If it were up to him, he may not have even checked in on her. She didn’t want to feel this way, but a conversation she had with Vanitas an eternity ago made its way to the forefront of her mind.

“So you’re telling me he knew you were down there, but waited until his schedule cleared before trying to get you out? Some friend you have.”

 She grimaced. She couldn’t think of that now. That wasn’t important.

“Fine,” she told him. “Let’s talk.”

It was better to get it over with. The last thing she wanted was Mickey being in the room when Vanitas woke. Naminé said he may be overwhelmed, and she was sure the small King was one of the last people he would want to see.

Mickey’s ears perked up. At least someone seemed assured. “It’ll just be a minute, I promise.”

Aqua nodded, trying to keep herself calm. She started to make her way over to the King, Naminé brushing a hand against her arm as she did so.

“I’ll get you if anything happens,” she assured her. At least she felt safe about leaving Naminé there. She had a real way with people. If there was anyone else who could have been there when Vanitas woke without some kind of conflict ensuing, it was her.

“Again, I’m really sorry about this,” Mickey said as Aqua reached him. “I promise it won’t take long.”

Here goes nothing. Aqua followed him out of the room, ready to get it over with. But her hopes for this being quick diminished the further he walked.

“Hey,” she began. “Can’t we just talk here?”

He stopped for a moment, only to look back at her in confusion. She hadn’t realised how alarmed she sounded and wished she could take it back.

“Well, I was sorta hoping we could go outside to talk,” he told her. “I’m worried someone might come by if we stay here.”

She took a step back. This was already far more than she bargained for. If something happened, it would take even longer for her to get back.

“You don’t want them hearing us, right?” he added. “I thought it might be for the best.”

There was no use arguing. It would just delay things.

“Fine,” she conceded. “But I don’t understand what there is to talk about.”

Mickey opened his mouth but seemed to decide against responding just yet. He must really want to talk in private. Aqua’s stomach slowly started turning to lead.

It wasn’t long before the pair emerged from the castle. Even though Aqua thought this surely should be far enough, Mickey continued on down the stairs.

“Mickey…” she spoke up, but he didn’t stop until reaching the gate. That was when he finally turned to her again.

“Look, Aqua, I’m really sorry about all this. I just didn’t want to talk until we were out of the castle.”

She looked down at him, doing what she could to hide her annoyance.

“But why,” she asked. “What is so important that it couldn’t wait?”

“Well,” he spoke, looking down at his hands. “It’s just something me and Master Yen Sid wanted to talk to you about. I didn’t want you getting upset or anything.”

“Then just say it,” she told him. This was already off to a great start. “You know I don’t have time for this.”

“I’m just struggling with this, Aqua,” he began. “I haven’t really interacted with him since that time you and I found him together in the Keyblade Graveyard.”

She bristled. “That was a long time ago.”

“I suppose it was. But you understand, don’t you?” he asked her. “Even recently when he was living with you guys, he still needed to be watched, right?”

Unbelievable.

“I made him my apprentice,” she got out. “Not only that, I made him my friend. And he died because of me, so I’m doing everything I can to make it right! And then all you can do is tell me I’m making a mistake? I’ve already heard it all, and I’ve had enough of it!”

She really was so tired of this. Is this what it would be like after he returned? Would they all still doubt him like this?

But there was something more terrifying. If she took that final step and confessed her feelings to him, if they ended up together, would they just be scrutinised like this for the rest of their lives?

At least Mickey looked guilty about what he said.

“Gosh, I’m sorry. I’m not saying you shouldn’t have helped him. We’re just worried.”

“Well, you don’t need to be,” she told him. “He is not the same person he was back then, but until he wakes up, you’ll just have to take my word for it.”

If anything, she at least knew she was ready to defend him until she ran out of breath.

“You may be right about that,” said Mickey. “I did hear about how he saved you in the Realm of Darkness.”

Aqua wrapped her arms around her middle. “He did. That’s why I’m so sure of this.”

“You know, I really should be praising you, Aqua,” he continued. “It mustn’t have been easy getting him to turn around like that. But I just can’t help but be worried about what comes next.”

She swallowed. “His powers, you mean?”

“That’s right,” he nodded. “It sounds like he’ll be back to full strength. I just can’t help but wonder–”

“Don’t,” she interrupted him. “Please trust my judgement. I’m a Master, just like you.”

“Oh, I’ve never doubted that. I just don’t want you to take this all on by yourself.” He looked up at her. “Of course, I know you have Ven and Terra with you, but I think you should rely on the rest of us a little more too. And, I know I haven’t been a very good friend to you lately. I should have at least checked in on you when I heard what happened.”

She wasn’t sure she would have wanted to see him back then.

“It’s fine,” she said. “I just want to put it behind me.”

“Master Yen Sid was really worried, you know. He still is. He’s just not sure that all this is a good idea.”

She shook her head. “Don’t forget, he isn’t my Master. I only report to him out of courtesy.”

“I know, but–”

“I am the Master in charge of the Land of Departure,” she declared as looked down at him. “Master Eraqus entrusted me with that responsibility himself. Therefore, I get final say over who gets to train there.”

Mickey shuffled nervously under her gaze. “Gosh, I didn’t mean to question your authority.”

“Really?” she asked, crossing her arms. “Because it sure sounds like it.”

“I just wanna know something,” he blurted out. “I already know he’s become an important friend to you, that much is clear to me, but do you think that one day Vanitas will become a wielder worthy of protecting the worlds?”

That was an easy question to answer. She smiled at him. “He already is. There’s no doubt in my heart.”

He just needed someone to believe in him.

It wasn’t long before Mickey was smiling too. “Aww, hearing you say that makes me feel a whole lot better. Well, I hope one day we can put everything behind us and all be friends.”

Vanitas might need more convincing, but Aqua didn’t want to say that.

“Well,” Mickey spoke, perking his ears up. “I’ve kept you away long enough. I’m really sorry for taking your time. I’ll let you go now, and I really hope he wakes up soon.”

He bounded for the castle again after that, leaving Aqua to wave him off. Maybe she should have followed, but she wanted to put some distance between them first, seeing as she really didn’t want to converse with him anymore. Once the small king had disappeared, she let herself breathe a sigh of relief.

That could have gone a whole lot worse. At least Mickey seemed somewhat on board now. The real challenge would be Master Yen Sid from the sounds of things. The old Master had been wary since day one of what Vanitas’ return might bring. But if she quelled his doubts back then, she could do it now.

Because she believed in Vanitas. She saw what lay in his heart. If it came down to it, she would stand up for him no matter what it took. How else could she repay what her ineptitude took from him?

Right. She sighed to herself. It had been long enough. She should head back inside before he woke up.

She stepped towards the castle, only to stop as a breeze swept past her, carrying several flower petals along with it. Their floral scent filled the air, leaving her to watch as they floated away into the distance. They must have come from the town square. Aqua gazed down at it from the top of the stairs, towards the large flower beds in full bloom that filled the area with colour.

Before she knew what she was doing, Aqua’s legs moved on their own, towards the flowers. She wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was the feeling of nostalgia that drew her in. Both good and bad things had happened in this place. It was where she tried to pull Terra away from Xehanort’s control. It was where she met Vanitas.

He was so cocky back then. He appeared in front of her, overflowing with confidence and thinking he could defeat her. She showed him. But when she thought back to the aftermath, how he laughed with mirth, he hadn’t seemed upset about it.

I’ll keep you around.

The words made her flush now, even though she was almost certain he hadn’t meant it in that way back then. And frankly, she would have been horrified. She knew one thing about him; that he was an agent of darkness who had threatened her friends. The thought of getting to know him in any way at all was ridiculous.

But then the impossible happened, and she was given the chance to get to befriend him. He was still so arrogant, even after she pulled him out of that hell. All he would do was go on and on about defeating her one day, but there was so much more to him that he had kept buried. Behind all that bravado was just a boy scrambling to find his place in the world, a purpose. The things he suffered left him hardened, refusing to let anyone in, all because he thought he could survive all by himself. But the loneliness was too much.

Maybe that was why they connected. She had her friends, but no one else truly understood what it felt like being isolated for so long. That was why he was so quick to call her out whenever she tried to push away that pain. He himself knew it all too well. It was like all that time spent reading her as an opponent was being put to use to get through to her as a friend.

No, that wasn’t right. She couldn’t really call what they had mere friendship anymore.

When he came back, she needed to make things clear to him. She had to cut through that self-loathing and make him understand just how important he is to her. Nothing would hold her back anymore, not now when she knew what it felt like to never get the chance.

The wind blew against her cheek, making her realise how damp they were.

She would do anything to see him again.

Another breeze blew past, jostling the flowers around where she stood. The petals floated upwards, carried away by the wind. Their swirling patterns mid-air left her mesmerised. As they floated along through the square, her eyes followed along their path, towards the castle gates.

She froze.

A figure was standing by the gate, staring at her.

Her heart thudded in her chest. Her eyes filled with tears. Her hands pulled up to her mouth to catch the sob that fell from her lips.

Because standing there, right in front of her, was Vanitas.

He was dressed in his dark suit again, but that didn’t matter. Not when he looked at her with the softest expression she had ever seen. She could tell even from where she stood. That was how she knew for certain that this was her Vanitas.

Her legs acted before the rest of her, launching her towards him. She almost stumbled in the process, but she didn’t stop until she flung herself into his waiting arms. He pulled her tightly against him, his arms encasing her as she wept into his shoulder.

Everything had frozen around them. They must have stood there for the longest time while she cried out, while he stroked her hair. She could have stayed there forever, but she pulled away just enough so she could look at him. When their eyes locked together, that’s when she noticed one stark difference.

His eyes. The golden yellow she was used to was gone, replaced by a warm red. Her first thought was that they suited him, especially as they gazed at her with that same intensity she missed so dearly.

“Van…” she got out. He reached a hand to her face, and her breath stopped as he brushed it along her cheek.

“What’s this?” he spoke as he wiped away a tear. The sound of his voice flooded her with euphoria. “You’re not crying for me again, are you?”

 She turned her head, but not enough for him to let go. “Of course I am, you idiot. You stupid, stupid…”

Her hands grasped at his chest like she was clinging onto him for dear life. Like she would pull him right back from the abyss if he ever showed sign of disappearing again.

“Ah, I’ve been back all of five minutes and you’re already insulting me.”

“You deserve it,” she muttered. “Do you… have any idea…”

She hadn’t really planned on yelling at him as soon as he got back, but he needed to know. She was a crumbling mess right now and he needed to know it was all his fault.

His thumb ran under her jaw, nudging at her to look at him again.

“I do get it, you know,” he told her. “I know I’d be calling you an idiot if you did what I did.” His eyes flicked over her face. “But let me tell you something. I would do it all over again.”

She shook her head. His thumb brushed past her lip.

“Don’t,” she murmured, looking him straight in the eye. “Don’t ever do that again.”

He grinned at her. She missed the sight of that so much. “Well then, I have some good news for you. You won’t need to worry about me fading away again anytime soon.”

The words hung in the air. Aqua finally let herself feel what she had been ignoring.

That power dwelling through his very being, filling him to the brim. She could even feel it coursing through his muscles.

They were right, he had returned to full strength.

No, it was more than that. What she sensed now; it was more than she had ever felt from him. She was sure that if he desired it, it may even be enough to defeat her. Send the worlds into chaos.

But when his hand brushed loose stands of hair behind her ear, its gentle trail leaving goosebumps in its wake, she was sure she didn’t have to worry about that.

Her eyes caught his again, their red almost burning into her. She could feel her face heating up just from his stare, but the feeling was more than welcome now after all this time without it. Gazing at him now, she wanted nothing more than to capture his lips again, just like that night under the stars. The thought of doing it in a public place like this was just enough to hold her back, although she didn’t think Vanitas would really care about such things.  

“Relax,” he murmured, like he had caught wind of her rampaging thoughts. His breath was warm against her skin. “I’m not going anywhere. And I don’t intend to let you go anytime soon.”

She swallowed, having to fight down that urge again. No matter what her heart wanted her to do, it would have to wait until they were somewhere more private. Then, she wouldn’t hold anything back. She would tell him everything he needed to hear.

But maybe, just for now…

“Van…” she spoke. “Listen. I…”

“Vanitas! You shouldn’t run off like that! We haven’t had the chance to check you over!”

Hearing the voice calling from the castle pathway was enough to make her leap away. Aqua regained control of herself just as she saw Ienzo start to scramble towards them. He must have gone back to the study after she left.

Vanitas groaned beside her. “Hey, I already told you I had something I needed to do.”

“I understand,” said Ienzo as he reached them. “But I must insist you return for now. We need to make sure the heart has settled in properly.”

“Feels pretty settled to me,” he shrugged. “I’ve never felt better.”

“Van,” Aqua grabbed at his hand as she spoke, and his attention was on her in an instant. “I think we should go back. It’s better to be safe, don’t you think?”

He groaned again. She was sure he pretending to consider refusing, but she had a feeling he would follow even if she went back without him.

“Fine,” he sighed. But then he looked her over again, a sly smile came to his face. “Whatever my Master thinks is best.”

He was doing this on purpose. She coughed to cover up her reddening face.

The way he said it sounded far too intimate. She thought she had gotten used to the teasing, but maybe it was about to get worse. And strangely enough, she couldn’t be happier.

“I, um, better let the others know to expect you,” Ienzo got out. Aqua was mortified when she noticed how uncomfortable he was, and it made her want to curl in on herself.

“Sounds good,” said Vanitas. “You go do that.”

After looking between them again and deciding not to say anything, Ienzo ran off, leaving the two of them alone at the gate. The moment he was out of sight, Aqua felt Vanitas lacing their fingers together.

“Well, we should probably go say hi to the others before they send out a search party,” he said. “I’m sure my idiot brother will want to see me.”

There was no longer any bite to the words. It was touching how affectionate they felt.

“Yeah,” Aqua spoke. “Everyone will be so happy to see you.”

He grimaced at that. “Yeah, yeah, I just hope they’re not too happy. I already know Ventus will be an annoying sap, but if I have to deal with Terra acting like that too…”

“They missed you,” she told him, tugging his hand towards her. “We all did.”

“Including you?”

She frowned at him, but that only got him to laugh.

“Relax, I’m just teasing you. I know it must have been hard.”

“Awful. It was awful.”

“Well, you can kick my ass later for it if you want. I’ll even let you get in the first hit.”

She shook her head. “You’re the worst.”

“Really? And here I thought you were coming around to me.”

That was an understatement, and he had to know that. From the way he stared at her, it was like he was daring her to deny it.

His arm circled her waist before nudging her towards him. She noticed how generous he was being with the touches, but she didn’t mind at all. Maybe this was a sign that he wasn’t holding himself back anymore. That he might finally let himself be happy.

When her hand reached up to stroke at his face and he pushed himself into the touch, she ignored the consequences and brought her face up to his. She brushed her lips against his, almost felling giddy when she felt the warmth of his breath. Proof he was alive and there with her. He pulled her further in, and while she could tell this was something he wanted, there was still some part of him holding back. Like he was still being cautious.

A buzzing sound rang from her pocket, forcing her to pull away. She caught a glimpse of Vanitas’ flushed face, wondered if hers was just as bad, and pulled her phone out of her pocket.

“They’re, um…” she began, feeling more breathless than she intended. “They’re wondering where we are.”

“Yeah,” he smirked. “I seem to remember we were on our way to the castle, then someone started throwing themselves at me.”

She hit his chest with the back of her hand. “Don’t give me that. You’re the one who pulled me closer.”

“I didn’t see you complaining.”

There they went as they strolled towards the castle. Talking, bantering with Vanitas again made her feel impossibly light.

The person she loved was finally home.

Chapter Text

What a tiny world.

Vanitas hadn’t thought much of any world. There was the desolate landscape where he was born. The crystalline streams of Radiant Garden. The crisp mountain air of the Land of Departure. At one point, the only wonder these worlds held would be whenever he sowed chaos within them. He had been an outsider, a menace whom no one would dare befriend. Nor did he want them to.

It was so strange returning to the Land of Departure and feeling like he was home.

One step after another, he emerged from the Gummi Ship and onto the grass surrounding the castle courtyard. The breeze met him halfway, carrying along its all too familiar scent. Vanitas couldn’t say what it was, but there was something different about it compared to the other worlds. It left him almost giddy, though he supposed there were a lot of reasons he would be feeling that way.

He felt her just before she stepped into view, her fingers searching for his. As they brushed along his palm, he fought the urge to pull her close again. No matter how badly he wanted to embrace her, hold her close to him and never let go, they weren’t alone yet. She was still too self-conscious about these things.

“Van.” Her voice carried through the wind. He would never tire of hearing it. Especially the way she said his name, like it was one of the most precious words she knew.

When he caught her gaze, her eyes softened. Her beautiful blue hair jostled in the breeze, and all he wanted to do was sweep it from her face and coil it around his fingers. He knew he had turned into a giant sap and it was all her fault. His old self would be disgusted. Probably by a lot of things. How much he cared about her now. How well he had come to know her.

There was no way he wouldn’t notice the dark circles under her eyes, worse than what he remembered. Going back to the Realm of Darkness must have made her insomnia worse again as he expected. The old him would have said I told you so, but it didn’t feel like the time for that.

She also seemed determined to linger near him, even when around the others. The hand cautiously prodding his was proof of that. Normally, she would have pulled away out of embarrassment by now and it made him wonder just what she had gone through while he was gone.

It must have been quite the spectacle when he woke up. Even as he laid there in a blank room with no idea how he got there, some part of him had known that it was Aqua who pulled him out. But when she was nowhere to be seen, he may have taken matters into his own hands. The shouts of the girl in white were drowned out as he dashed from the room, with only the single goal of finding Aqua. She had to be close. Her light lingered in the corridors, surrounding him like a warm embrace. He just needed to follow it and ignore anyone else who crossed his path. He was certain he almost knocked the rat king over in his haste.

No one else mattered. Not when he could feel her so close by. As he emerged from the castle, he could feel her waiting in the town square, and the irony hadn’t escaped him.

And there she was, standing amongst the flowers with the most gorgeous look on her face. Never had anyone looked so happy to see him, and it was still hard for him to believe. But when she ran for him, when she fell into his arms once more, it was as if he finally started to breathe again. He hadn’t felt fully awake until she was right there in front of him, although someone could have still convinced him he was dreaming.

“Van,” she said again, bringing him back to the present. Her hand tightened against his, and the action brought his gaze to her once more. He conceded that it would be difficult to take his eyes off her for a good long while. Despite her clear exhaustion, her smile was blinding.

“You’re home now,” she told him. “I want you to know that.”

Home…

“Yeah,” he muttered. He did his best to shield his face, knowing how dumb he must have looked. That smile of his would give Ventus a run for his money. It would be one thing if Aqua saw it, but there were two others present that he had to contend with.

Indeed, Ventus and Terra had emerged from the Gummi Ship at the same time they did, but Vanitas was thankful they at least had the sense to give them space. He wanted to enjoy the feeling of Aqua’s hand just a little while longer.

The peace hadn’t lasted, as expected. He did his best to hold back a groan as he watched Ventus take a step towards them.

“Aqua’s right,” he spoke up. “This is your home now, whether you like it or not.”

Vanitas glanced in the direction of his other half. Perhaps that wasn’t the best way to describe him anymore, but now he had time to settle on alternatives. He still wore that stupid grin that was the bane of his existence at one point, but now, it stood in sharp contrast to the deep shadows under his eyes. Even his skin was paler than usual, and if he looked close enough, he could see the unsteadiness of his stance. Housing his heart must have done a number on him, but he wasn’t sure anyone here would hold it against him. Terra might, judging from the concerned glance he shot at Ventus, but he knew the idiot would just tell everyone that he was fine and not to worry.

Considering he had no memory at all of the whole ordeal, he should probably ask what it had been like. One moment, he was in the Realm of Darkness, experiencing pain like never before, watching Aqua’s tears stream down her beautiful face.

The next, he was awake in a strange room with all the power he could ever want coursing through him.

He flexed his free hand. Did anyone there know just how dangerous he was now? He could feel it under his skin, raw power lying just below the surface flowing like blood. It was more than he ever remembered having. Whatever they did to bring him back, they got far more than they bargained for.

“Hey.” Aqua’s voice was soft by his ear. “Everything okay?”

He turned to her, letting her see his grin.

“Never better.”

The flush covering her face was delectable. He didn’t remember it being this easy to tease her before.

Someone coughed next to them. It was probably Terra. Sure enough, he opened his mouth.

“We should probably catch Vanitas up on what’s been going on,” he said, wandering closer to them. At least he still kept his distance. “Maybe we should talk about how we got him back.”

“Later,” Aqua told him. “We’ll have time for all that. We just got home, surely we can relax for a bit first.”

Vanitas eyed her. Ah, so there was a bit more involved with his return than he thought. All he knew thus far was that he’d been gone for several weeks, and everyone seemed exhausted. Especially Ventus, no matter how well he tried to hide it behind a smile. Vanitas took a risk and prodded at their bond, but he didn’t feel anything. That should have been an immense relief, but it did nothing to alleviate his concerns.

Did something happen? Had him coming back resulted in Ventus’ heart being stripped away again?

Surely not. Aqua would never bring him back if it would hurt Ventus like that.

“Fine,” Terra replied, not looking remotely ready to drop the subject. For a rare moment, Vanitas felt a strange solidarity towards Terra. Whatever this was, he knew he would get it out of Aqua later if he had to.

“Hey, I’m just happy we made it back in one piece,” Ventus added. “I’m still not really used to the Gummi Ships.”

Vanitas scoffed. “I’m just thankful you weren’t the one driving, or we’d all be goners. Glad one of those white coats were kind enough to give us a ride.”

Ventus frowned at that. “I told you, that’s Ienzo. It’s thanks to him you’re even here, so could you try remembering his name?”

“Well, since I don’t know what exactly he–”

“Hey,” Aqua interrupted. Her grip on his hand tightened just a fraction. “We can talk about that later. I just want to get inside for now.”

Something was wrong. Vanitas glanced at her, but when she didn’t acknowledge him, he found himself getting irritated. She still thought she could hide things from him after everything they had been through, and he hated it. As much as he wanted to confront her, with how defensive she was being, he had a feeling he had to wait until they were alone to get answers.

For now, there was nothing else to do but head inside. As the group moved towards the door, Vanitas heard the Gummi Ship take off behind them, turning in time to catch it disappearing into the stratosphere. He still thought it was a dumb mode of transportation.

Terra and Ventus walked ahead of them in the midst of some kind of conversation, but Vanitas didn’t care to listen. His hand sought Aqua’s again, having lost it as they walked.

“Hey,” he murmured. “Tell me, is everything okay? You’re acting weird.”

“I’m not,” she spoke back, her voice barely audible. “Can’t I just be happy you’re here?”

He didn’t know what to say to that. She may have been happy to see him, he would really be an idiot if he didn’t acknowledge that much, but there was clearly something else going on.

Maybe she had a point. Maybe he should just enjoy their reunion for now.

But there was a part of him that wanted them to know exactly what they were dealing with, and it was growing more and more impatient.

As they emerged from the top of the staircase into the main hall, he decided it was time. He broke away from Aqua, ignoring her look of surprise, and pushed past Ventus and Terra to stop in the centre of the room. He turned back to face them all, enjoying their confused expressions. Only Aqua had moved closer, but she still lingered near the others.

Vanitas brought a grin to his face. “Seeing as you were kind enough to bring me back,” he began. “I thought I should let you know something. When I said I’ve never felt better, I meant it. I hope you all realise what that means.”

He paused to let the words sink in. They all watched him, all waiting for him to continue. He had hoped to see more fear on their faces, but that would come soon enough.

Then there was Aqua. She only frowned at him. Maybe he would get a scolding later.

He kept his gaze on her. Only her. And with one small chuckle, he sank beneath the floor.

He had gone just slow enough to see the shock on their faces, but once he was under, there was no reason to dawdle. Feeling his way along underneath the floor, he emerged from the void, right behind Aqua. He was far too quick for her to react, and she gasped as his hand met the small of her back. Satisfied, he darted away to settle on the ground in front of her. The look on her face was amazing, flushed with some combination of anger and embarrassment.

He grinned back at her. “Got you.”

It was effortless. What had taken all his strength not weeks ago was now as easy as breathing. He was sure he was more strained doing that while still acting under Xehanort.

He could get used to having power like this.

Aqua was still glaring at him. It was almost nostalgic.

“Like that?” he asked. “I got a lot more where that came from.”

“Van,” she snapped. “Quit messing around! I mean it!”

The rush he felt from the power disintegrated, almost like it was never there. A hollow sensation remained in his chest, growing as he watched Aqua stare him down with an emotion he now recognised.

Fear. Not for herself. For him.

His smile dropped a fraction. He didn’t get it at all. Didn’t she see how easy that was? Seeing how shaken it left her made something rattle within him.

“H-hey,” he began, feeling shaken himself. “I was just showing you what I could do. And it’s not like I’ve never done it before.”

“I know.”

The words were heavier than they should have been. It was only when she turned her gaze away that it finally clicked for him.

Darkness… pain… all around… Doesn’t matter… need to hurry…

“Aqua,” he spoke, reaching out for her. “I already told you, you don’t need to worry about me. I’m not fading away again anytime soon.”

She shook her head. It was only now that he saw sign of her holding back tears, and his heart clenched.

“I know,” she repeated as she steeled her gaze. “But can you really blame me for not wanting to see you do that again?”

“This isn’t like the last time,” he insisted. “Doing that just now was so easy, I could probably do it a hundred times without getting tired.”

“Vanitas,” Terra interrupted. “I don’t think that’s the point.”

There he went, always butting in. Vanitas shot a glare at him and tried to think of something snappy to say back when Aqua spoke up.

“No. No fighting. Not today. Please.”

Aqua always hated it whenever he fought with her friends, but this was something else. Whatever had happened when he was gone, it must have left her completely worn out. Defeated. It was strange to see her like this, especially when she insisted she was happy he was back. Sure, he could read her like a book now, but she normally put far more effort into hiding her worries.

No matter how much he wanted to stop this, to heal her pain, he wasn’t done. Whatever happened, whatever they did to bring him back, they needed to know what they had coming should he choose to act. Should he choose to use this power.

“I’m not fighting,” he spoke. He turned away from Aqua and walked a few steps away for good measure. When he faced them again, it was his turn to steel his resolve. “I just need you to all understand something. Yeah, when I first got here, I was far weaker than I’d like to admit.”

Remembering that time was humiliating, but he had a point to make. He had to show them what they had done.

He forced himself to grin.

“At the beginning,” he began. “I only stayed because I couldn’t leave. And I wasn’t strong enough to take you all out either. Well…”

With that, he raised a hand and willed the darkness to him. When he opened a Dark Corridor to his side, he was certain he heard someone gasp, but hearing it now wasn’t as enjoyable as he thought it would be.

He needed to keep going.

“Look at that.” He gestured to the gateway. “Absolutely effortless. Now,” He pulled his gaze up to Aqua in particular. “What’s stopping me from stepping through right now onto any world I please, so I can wreak havoc?”

Maybe he shouldn’t be testing her like this. She glared right through him, and it cut far deeper than it should. The portal almost closed with how much his will faltered, but he kept it open as he met her glare head on. Daring her to act. To stop him.

“You won’t.”

Her words were clear, spoken with a surety that nearly shook his resolve again. But not quite.

He raised an eyebrow. “Really? You sure about that?”

“The only thing stopping you is yourself,” she told him. “I think you’ve made it clear that you have the power to leave whenever you want, but you won’t. And you especially won’t go to hurt others.”

It was mindboggling how well she thought of him now. His recent behaviour around her, all of it, was surely to blame.

“Besides,” she spoke up again. “You haven’t defeated me yet. I think that’s more than enough of a reason to stay.”

He snorted. “I might be able to manage it now. You never know.”

“I doubt it.”

There it was. That overconfidence. He let out a laugh before dismissing the portal with a flick of his hand.

She was right. He couldn’t see himself leaving voluntarily now. She would have to want him to leave.

“If you ask me,” Ventus spoke up from where he stood. “I don’t think we have anything to worry about when it comes to you anymore.”

Terra scoffed beside him. “Ven’s right about that. So long as Aqua has you on her leash, I doubt we have to worry about you running off at all.”

Vanitas scowled. “I’m not a damn mutt. I can go wherever I like.”

“So long as Aqua says it’s okay,” Ventus added, wearing that annoying grin once again.

As the conversation played out, he could see Aqua turning her head away, her cheeks dusted with a familiar pink. Knowing that it was her friends teasing them at their expense that caused it, and not him, was a little irritating.

The feeling rushed through him. There was one more thing he could show them.

“Hey,” he got out, catching their attention once again. “I’d think twice about taking me lightly. All of my powers are back you know, and I mean all of them.”

When all they gave him in return was a blank look, he sighed and pulled the irritation out from his heart.

A Flood emerged from his body with far more ease than he ever remembered. He let it drop to the floor to get its bearings and watched as it locked its gaze on the other Keyblade wielders. If he could be happy about one thing, it was that they seemed surprised to see it. But not one of them had drawn a weapon or even looked remotely threatened. Maybe he should have spawned something bigger.

But there was no time to ponder that. The moment he opened his mouth to taunt them, the creature darted towards the group without his permission. His silent commands for it to stop were ignored, and his panic only grew as he saw it make a beeline for Aqua.

“Wait!” he yelled out far too late. Frantic thoughts filled his head about why the Unversed would attack against his orders. Had they discovered this source of weakness and were determined to eliminate it for him? He cursed himself for his overconfidence, now dreading that he hadn’t been as in control as he thought.

It was moving too fast for even Aqua to react. All Vanitas could do was leap towards the creature, watching in alarm as it reached her.

Only for it to scamper up her leg and settle itself around her shoulders.

Huh?

Vanitas froze in place just steps from Aqua. He could only watch as the damned creature draped itself around Aqua, nuzzling its face in the crook of her neck. She didn’t dare to move, her body remaining completely still. But as the shock slowly melted from her expression, giving way to bewilderment, she slowly raised a hand towards it.

When she rubbed at its head and it made a pathetic chittering noise, Vanitas stormed over and tugged the creature away by the neck. He was relieved it didn’t try to hold onto her, however it did make a ridiculous whining sound as its arms and legs flailed, trying to reach her again.

“Um,” Aqua spoke. Her cheeks turned pink again. “I can’t say I remember them doing that before.”

He tugged it further away, no matter how much it tried to protest. “That’s because they were too busy trying to maim you.”

He couldn’t believe it just did that. What a humiliating display. It was only when he reabsorbed it into his palm that he completely understood its actions.

Those emotions. That longing. It flooded into him, and he had to turn away just so the group wouldn’t see how flushed his face had turned.

Okay. No Unversed until that feeling is under control.

“Just forget you saw that,” he said, swivelling to face them. “It’s been a while since I summoned them, so they’re gonna be antsier than usual.”

“I wouldn’t call that antsy, personally,” said Ventus, looking way more smug than usual. “Besides, if I recall correctly, the Unversed are just manifestations of your–”

“If you don’t shut your mouth right now, you’ll regret it.”

He still didn’t seem threatened. Even though Vanitas knew he now had the power to wipe him off the face of the world without much thought.

“Hey,” Aqua spoke up. At least she seemed to be moving past it. “I thought I said no fighting.”

“It’s not a fight. I’m just making sure Ventus and I understand each other.”

Ventus rubbed the back of his head. “Sorry. You just make it way too easy.”

“He’s right,” Terra added. “Really doesn’t take much to rile you up.”

The group laughed, all at Vanitas’ expense. Just as he was working on a comeback, a buzzing sound rang out from somewhere. To his surprise, it was Terra who reached for his pocket to pull out a Gummi Phone. He looked at the screen for a second, frowned, and turned to Aqua.

“Aqua,” he began. “Is your phone off? Mickey has been trying to reach you, something about Master Yen Sid–”

Terra had barely finished talking when Aqua turned away. Vanitas watched as she did, taking note of her brewing frustration.

“I already said I’d talk to them later.”

“But Aqua…”

“Later,” she snapped, turning back towards Terra. “I already know what they’re gonna say and I don’t wanna hear it right now! I’m the Keyblade Master here, not them! I decide what happens!”

Vanitas didn’t really know what to think of all this. Part of him felt really proud of her for finally recognising her position, but something still felt wrong. He hadn’t seen her show anger like this before, especially towards the other Masters.

It had to be about him. They were probably mad they brought him back at all.

Terra held his arms out and waited for her to calm down a moment.

“They just want to know what you’re planning to do. And I get the feeling they’ll come here in person if they don’t hear from you soon.”

“Fine,” she got out. “I’ll talk to them.”

Vanitas took a step forward. “Should I come?”

Aqua turned to him in shock. “Van? Um, no, that’s alright. There’s no need for us both to go.”

“Why not? I know this is about me, don’t lie.”

She shook her head, but it didn’t feel like a denial.

“It’s okay,” she told him. “It’s better if I go alone for now. Though, I’m pretty sure you’ll get a chance to talk to them yourself soon enough.”

He wasn’t really looking forward to it. He knew what they thought of him. Couldn’t say he blamed them though.

This was worse than when she first pulled him out of the Realm of Darkness. At least back then, he was weak enough to keep shackled.

“Fine,” he conceded. “I guess I’ll get settled in again.”

She smiled at him. “Thank you for understanding. And don’t worry, I promise to tell you everything afterwards.”

As much as he wanted to stay with her, he knew he shouldn’t fight her over this. His eyes trailed after her as she left the hall, likely in search of somewhere more private to contact the Masters. Vanitas considered following her and eavesdropping, but she had said herself that she’d tell him what happened. After everything that happened between them, he should at least trust her to do this alone. For now.

“Hey,” Ventus spoke up, having moved closer than he realised. “I wouldn’t worry too much. Even if they don’t like what happened, we all have your back. That includes Terra and me, right Terra?”

“Yeah,” said Terra. “We’ve both seen what you’ve done for Aqua. You saved her life back there, and I can never thank you enough for that.”

Vanitas scoffed. “Don’t thank me. Feels weird to hear you say it.”

“He’s right though,” Ventus added. “That’s why I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before everyone else comes around to you.”

“Maybe it’s a good thing to let Aqua plead your case first. She definitely sees you better than anyone.”

Vanitas didn’t let the comment rile him up this time. If he let every little remark get to him, he may end up wishing he was back in the Realm of Darkness getting skewered.

“Well,” Vanitas spoke. “I just hope she doesn’t regret it.”

It felt like the most honest thing he had told them. He really had changed.

“She’ll get mad if she hears you say that,” said Ventus. “You know she cares about you.”

Vanitas groaned. “Yeah, I know. I just… don’t want her to risk so much for me.”

If this ended up going bad, if Aqua ended up taking the fall for him, he wasn’t sure he would forgive himself.

“Says the guy that threw himself in front of a Heartless for her.”

“Alright,” Terra spoke up. “I’m sure Vanitas has better things to do than stay and talk with us.”

He scoffed at that. “Wow, for once I agree with you.”

“Yeah, you said you wanted to get settled in again, right?” said Ventus. “It’ll be a good time to do it while Aqua’s busy.”

Vanitas just hoped she wouldn’t take too long. She was only gone for mere moments, and he was already longing to see her. It really was pathetic of him.

“Well then,” he spoke as he made his way to the door. “Guess I’ll get to it.”

Getting to his room was no trouble, though it was strange going back after all this time. His room was just as sparce at he had left it, nothing on the desk and nothing on the shelves. It wasn’t like he had much to call his own, even after the months he had spent there.

The first thing he did was strip off his dark suit. The way it clung to him didn’t feel right anymore. He must have gotten too used to wearing the clothes Aqua made him. As he opened his set of drawers, he saw them there, folded. He paused. Now that he thought about it, he had left the bed unmade that day too, yet now it was neatly made up.

He grabbed the clothes, feeling refreshed once they were on again. Wearing clothing like that, clothing that draped loosely on his skin rather than constricting it, he could almost feel like a real person. As he went to adjust the collar, he caught sight of himself in the mirror by the door.

It was the first time he had really gotten a good look at himself since returning and he immediately noticed the change in eye colour. Gone was the yellow, replaced by a rich red, warm in tone to the point of nearly being brown. When he saw that, the relief bubbling in his chest was so great that he started to laugh. He despised sharing anything, even an eye colour with the old man, and now even that was gone.

He still resembled Sora, but he doubted that would ever really change. It was thanks to him and Ventus that he ever had a form at all, and he couldn’t really picture himself looking like anything else now. Though looking closer, he could have sworn there was more definition in his face. More sturdiness in his frame. It may have been his imagination, but his pants were a fraction shorter than they used to be.

Looking at himself now, he felt more real than he ever had. If he was growing, maturing, that had to be a sign.

In the back of his mind, he wondered what Aqua thought.

That’s right. She was probably still dealing with those Masters. He only hoped they weren’t being total pains about everything.

He really did hate leaving her by herself, but he wasn’t sure he would help much if he barged into the meeting. He was supposed to make a good impression, right? Even though he couldn’t care less about that, he was sure Aqua would want him to have more allies.

Though his patience was quickly running out.

Unfortunately, there was someone in the castle who seemed to always know what he was thinking. It felt like the moment he decided to himself that he would leave his room and hunt her down, there was a knock at his door.

“Vanitas?” came Ventus’ voice. “Are you in there?”

He did his best not to groan. Despite Vanitas wanting nothing to do with him, he did shelter his heart for a good while. Probably should at least answer the door.

Ventus stood on the other side, looking almost surprised that he opened it this quickly. He was still trying to pretend he wasn’t exhausted, and Vanitas could already feel himself getting irritated again.

“What do you want?”

Just because he answered didn’t mean he had to be polite about it. Ventus seemed unbothered by it, but it wasn’t like Vanitas was trying all that hard to be unpleasant.

“Just wanted to check in on you,” he spoke, his eyes sweeping over his outfit. Vanitas only hoped he had the sense not to comment. “I think Aqua is still talking with them, so I wondered if you were getting bored yet.”

He scoffed. “I can entertain myself.”

“Maybe. But you were just about to head out and check on her anyway, right?”

Yep. Read him like a book.

“Would you get out of my head already?” Vanitas groaned. “It’s really getting old.”

Ventus crossed his arms. “I’m not in your head. And besides, even if I was, you were in my heart for weeks. It’s only fair, don’t you think?”

After years of having to experience Ventus’ emotions, every happy moment, every blinding scrap of friendship, the comparison still didn’t feel justified.

“Nope. Not at all,” he told him. “It’s not like I remember anything about it, and you have no idea how thankful I am for that.”

Ventus stared at him. “You don’t remember?”

“Should I?”

He didn’t need to sense him to see how surprised he was. But the look was wiped over soon enough.

“Well, I guess not,” he spoke. “It might be better this way. I’m sure Aqua wouldn’t have wanted you to remember.”

“Aqua?” Vanitas narrowed his eyes. “Why?”

He knew he was onto something. Ventus’ eyes widened as he pathetically stammered out a response.

“N-never mind. It’s probably better you talk to her about that.”

That was the plan, but he had this to deal with first.

Vanitas stared at him. It was like when he left his heart, Ventus got to keep his eyebags. His complete exhaustion was so clear that he would be astonished if he even tried to hide it.

While Vanitas looked and felt better than ever, Ventus had never looked more pathetic, and that was saying a lot. He even took a risk and tried to feel through their bond, but he again came up with nothing.

Whatever happened, had it finally separated them? He wasn’t sure how to feel about it.

“I really messed you up, didn’t I?”

Ventus snapped his head up. Vanitas thought he might deny it, and that’s exactly what he did.

“No, you didn’t.”

“I’m not an idiot. I can see how tense everyone is. How the Masters are on our case. And you’ve looked ready to pass out ever since I got back.”

“It’s fine,” he insisted. “I guess… there was just a little more of you stuck in me than we realised. I’ll be fine once I get some rest.”

“So, I took too much from you again. Idiot. You should have held onto more.”

Ventus scoffed. “No thanks. I think it was more exhausting having you in here than out. I’ll take this feeling any day.”

Vanitas could only stare at him. Everyone here was all too willing to downplay their pain. It was getting annoying. And he wasn’t going to accept any more excuses.

“What happened?” he asked him. “You’re not in a coma at least, but you’re only a step up from that, admit it.”

“Vanitas, I’m fine. And it’s really not like you to worry about me like that.”

“Come on, you and I both know why it’s even bothering me. I don’t want to see Aqua in pain over this. If whatever you did to bring me back hurt you, then it’ll hurt her. I can’t accept that.”

Ventus didn’t answer, but Vanitas saw something in his eyes soften.

It only annoyed him. “What’s that look for?”

He shook his head. “It’s nothing. I guess… I’m just happy to hear you say something like that. I already know how you feel, but it’s still nice to hear it from you.”

The scowl was inevitable. “Oh, shut up. I’ll be sick if I have to hear you say any more.”

“I don’t know, not long ago you would have denied all this. It’s just nice.”

“Yeah, well there’s no point denying it now. I’m not an idiot. I know exactly what I’m feeling. I have for a long time.”

“That’s good,” Ventus said with a smile. “I just want you to know that you don’t have to hide anything from us. You should be able to feel what you want, live in whatever way feels right.”

Vanitas groaned, doing his best to fight the nausea from all the mushy stuff he was saying. But before he could say anything back, he heard that familiar buzzing sound, followed by Ventus reaching for his pocket. He glanced at the screen of his Gummi Phone, his eyes going wide for a split second before he put the device away.

“What was that?”

“Hm?” Ventus looked up at him, seeming oddly panicked now. “Oh! That was, uh, Terra. He’s started sending me all these jokes to cheer me up.”

It didn’t matter that he could no longer sense what Ventus was feeling. He was a truly terrible liar.

Vanitas grinned. “Terra cracking jokes, huh? Show me.”

There was that flare of panic again. “Oh no, it’s, uh, an inside joke. You probably wouldn’t get it and it’d probably sound really boring anyway.”

“Ventus,” he warned, taking a threatening step towards him.

“Oh, hey!” he spoke up. “I’m sure you still want something to do. Why don’t we go down to the training grounds and you can show me how strong you’ve gotten.”

“I’d wipe the floor with you and get chewed out for it. No thanks.”

“Well, um, we don’t have to train. We could go down to the cliff and, I dunno, see who can toss rocks the farthest?”

Vanitas scoffed at that. “Really? You have such a lame idea of fun.”

“Then, um…”

He had enough of this. He swiped towards Ventus, but he was somehow still quick enough to move away in time.

“We could just talk too?” Ventus blurted out. “But the weather’s so nice today, so we better go out to the training–”

“You are so weird and you couldn’t tell a lie to save your life. Now, either you tell me what’s going on, or I knock you over and take your dumb phone from you.”

“It’s nothing serious, I promise,” he insisted. “I just thought you might wanna get out for a bit.”

“But what makes you think I want to go with you? Sounds like we’ve spent enough time together already.”

“Uh, well…”

Vanitas scoffed. “Enough of this. Give me your phone.”

He swiped for him again, but Ventus was still quicker. Vanitas could be trying harder, but he was worried he’d hurt him by accident if he didn’t hold back. Aqua wouldn’t take too kindly to that.

But then to his surprise, Ventus darted from the room.

“You want it?” he called back, waving the phone in the air. “Then come get it.”

With that, he took off running with a speed faster than someone in his condition should be able to manage. An idiot as always.

Vanitas contemplated going after him, but he had little interest in Ventus’ dumb games. He could probably find the answers himself just by looking around. From the hesitation, he doubted the message was from Terra, so maybe it was from Aqua. That would mean she was done being scolded by those washed-up old masters and he could finally talk to her.

He let himself feel around for her light and was surprised when he felt her somewhere closer than expected. Keeping the feel of her in mind, he made his way down the hall, towards his goal.

He only stopped in front of the kitchen briefly before slamming the door open.

“Woah!”

Sure enough, Aqua was on the other side of the room by the counter, balancing something in her hands. She turned her head to see who it was, and her eyes widened when she caught sight of Vanitas. Whatever she was holding in her hands, she did her best to obscure it.

Vanitas smiled at her. “Hey. Meeting done?”

Aqua looked to him and then to the object in her hands before she sighed and placed it on the counter. When the mixing bowl came into view, he had to fight down the warm feeling growing inside him.

“Yes,” she spoke. “It only just finished now. I just… wanted to do something first.”

He stepped towards her. “And that would be?”

She reached for the bowl again, cradling it in her hands. “It was supposed to be a surprise. I wanted to make something nice.”

His eyes swept along the kitchen. Open bags of ingredients lay along the counter with a recipe book sitting nearby. A picture of a cake was displayed proudly.

“Hang on,” he began, trying not to laugh. “You thought you could bake an entire cake without me noticing?”

She pouted as she placed the bowl on the counter again. “Well, I at least hoped I could get it in the oven. Ven was supposed to be distracting you.”

He actually laughed this time. Now it all made sense.

“Really? You asked Ventus?” he got out. “You know he’s bad at that stuff.”

“Well, it was him or Terra. I figured I’d have a better chance with Ven.”

“Still, even if he came up with a great distraction, it wouldn’t have mattered. I wanted nothing more than to come find you.”

Her face reddened at that. It was then that he noticed the splash of batter on her cheek. That along with the disarray of the kitchen was indicative of the rush she was in. It really wasn’t like her. He moved closer.

“So,” he spoke, his cheeks starting to hurt from how hard he was smiling. “Now the surprise is ruined, are you still gonna make the cake?”

A shy smile met him in return. “Of course. It’d be a waste if I didn’t, wouldn’t it?”

He pointed up to her face. “Seems like you’ve already wasted some.”

She must not have noticed. Her eyes widened and her hand went up to her cheek, but he reached out to catch it just in time.

“Um,” she began, turning her head from his in embarrassment. “I think that happened when you startled me earlier. I really didn’t expect you to just come barging in like that.”

He wasn’t really listening to what she was saying. Because a sudden urge overcame him.

Reaching forward, he moved his mouth to her cheek and licked off the batter.

She let out a gasp, and it struck him how much he missed that sound. She only grew more flustered, her face practically glowing, and he kept his close to hers to see every moment of it.

“Van,” she got out.

He smacked his lips. “Chocolate, huh? Good choice.”

Of course, it was better than any chocolate he had tasted.

Her hand was still in his grip. He knew because he felt her half-heartedly try to pull it away, only to give up after little more than a tug. Her face was inches from his and she looked caught between feeling mad and feeling flustered. Seeing her bite her lip was enough for him.

He pulled her towards him, letting their lips meet. She kissed him before, back at Radiant Garden, but that had felt almost reluctant, like she was afraid of getting caught. Now, he felt no such barrier. Their lips moulded together as perfectly as their last night together. He could taste more chocolate and knew he wasn’t the only one who got a chance to try the cake batter.

She let out another little gasp and something inside him took over. He surged forward, using his body to pin her to the counter as his hands had free rein over her back. Her hands buried themselves in his hair, and he had to stop himself from making embarrassing noises of his own as she tugged at it. Things like breathing weren’t a concern anymore, not when all he could focus on was the taste of her mouth, her tongue.

And she let him. She was just as eager as he was. Something in him bloomed when she tugged him even closer, when she slid backwards onto the counter and wrapped her legs around him. He had to tilt his neck up to adjust to the new angle, but he had no problem with it. His mind ceased to function almost entirely, and he was absolutely welcome to it. He was tired of thinking anyway.

But just as he was getting swept away by it all, Aqua broke off without warning. It took a moment for his mind to catch up, to notice her gaze turned to the door. Feeling annoyed, he turned his gaze there as well.

There was Ventus, his eyes and mouth wide open, face redder than he had ever seen.

“S-sorry!” he stammered out, his arms flailing around. “I didn’t mean to, uh… I mean… I’ll leave you to it!”

When he darted away, he felt Aqua jump down from the counter and stumble forward.

“V-Ven!” She was also stammering as she called out to him. Vanitas didn’t even need to look at her to tell she was mortified.

Once Ventus had disappeared down the hall, out of sight, Aqua slowly pulled her hands to her face.

“I can’t believe he just saw that,” she got out, the words barely audible. “I… wasn’t thinking! I’m so embarrassed.”

Vanitas reached for one of the hands covering her face and tugged it away, just enough so he could look into her eyes. The shame in them was intense.

“Relax,” he told her. “He’ll get over it. Besides, it could be worse, right?”

He would rather it be Ventus than Terra, that was for sure. He wasn’t sure how the other wielder would react to something like that, and he didn’t want to know.

“The door was open.” She spoke like she hadn’t heard him. “The door was wide open, and I just–”

“Aqua,” he spoke up again. “Don’t worry about it. I mean, it would have happened eventually. Considering we were barely alone for two minutes before–”

“I know,” she blurted out. The red in her face hadn’t diminished at all. “I thought I’d have more self-control than that.”

The high from before was beginning to wear off. It was inevitable, especially seeing how rattled Aqua was about all this. And he couldn’t really blame her. Anyone would feel embarrassed if they got caught with someone like him.

It was nice while it lasted. Really nice. But maybe this was the wake-up call she needed.

He let go of her and stepped away. He tried to ignore her look of confusion.

“You know Ventus won’t think any less of you,” he told her. “But I don’t blame you for feeling ashamed, especially since it was me that–”

“No,” she blurted out, cutting him off completely. “That’s not it. Please don’t tell me you still think that way.”

He turned his head from her. It would be a lot harder to reason with her if only one look would sway him again.

“I’ll admit, I still don’t really get it,” he began. “I must have done something right to get you to even wanna be in the same room as me, never mind let me touch you. But you’ve gone beyond even that. You’re still trying to fight for me, and it’s wearing you down. When will you realise I’m not worth the pain?”

Aqua didn’t respond. It was because she knew he was right and didn’t want to admit it.

Maybe it was best for all of them if he left. He had the freedom now, didn’t he? He had been nothing but a burden, ever since he first emerged from the Realm of Darkness. And now, he loved Aqua too much to ever let her fall to his level. His heart screamed at him, but he had to make this decision.

But he couldn’t move forward. Not when Aqua reached for him and grabbed his hand. His head turned to her on instinct, and he caught the new determination burning in her eyes.

“Follow me.”

He should have fought more, but after everything, he couldn’t ignore such a simple command if it was coming from her. He nodded and allowed her tug him out of the kitchen. Out through the halls, out of the castle, and into the courtyard. The sun was well on its way down the horizon, the orange hues of late afternoon coating the area.

She didn’t stop. She continued, leading him through the grounds and along the mountain path, a path they had treaded many times before. They were well on their way to the training area when they finally stopped by the cliffside. The sunlight bouncing off her form made her even more radiant.

“I want to show you something,” she told him, as she finally released his hand. She seemed to have a goal in mind, and he watched as she made her way to a sole tree along the cliff.

“You used to sit here a lot,” she told him as she crouched near the base of the tree. “Especially whenever you wanted to be alone. That time when we weren’t talking to each other, I always thought about coming here to find you. To apologise. Anything just so you’d speak to me again.”

Vanitas tried not to let his surprise show. He had no idea she had been watching him to that extent. He didn’t even realise he came out here that much.

When he glanced to the ground beside her, he finally saw why she had crouched down. There was a small, ornate wooden box sitting at the base of the tree, sealed with a simple latch.

“I didn’t really have anything to remember you by, you know.” She lifted the box from the ground, cradling it in her arms. “You had been with us for so long, but even then, there wasn’t really anything left for me to hold onto. This was the closest thing.”

She undid the latch with a click. Vanitas stepped closer to see, his eyes widening as he saw the star shaped charms within. He recognised them, but they were different to the ones she and her friends had. There were two of them inside the box, both identical. Red on one side, blue on the other.

“I never had the chance to give this to you,” she told him. “I worked on these instead of apologising. Silly, I know. I wasn’t even sure I’d be brave enough to go through with it. But I decided, I wanted to give you this after we got back, just so you’d know how important you are to me.”

“Aqua.”

It was all he could say. He still couldn’t really process what he was seeing.

She looked at him as he called her name, tears pooling in her eyes.

“But then you died. Because of me. And I had nothing left of you! I kept thinking, maybe if I had worked up the courage to give you this, to tell you, then you would have known! Then you wouldn’t have thrown yourself away like that!”

Vanitas watched her, completely lost. He hated seeing her this upset. Seeing this despair. But he had no idea what to do about it. It wasn’t making sense to him.

“Aqua,” he spoke. “That thing would have–”

“That’s not the point!” she shouted. “You really don’t get it, do you? When you were gone, I was… broken. I couldn’t stop thinking about what would have happened if I was just a little faster, if I had just noticed a little quicker. I felt like I’d failed! All I could do was watch as the days went by without you there! I couldn’t bear to wander by your room anymore, so I started coming here. I… had intended to bury the charms here, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. All I could do was leave them here, just so I’d still have something to remember you by.”

His throat clamped up. He tried to swallow the lump, the movement making something in his eyes sting.

“But why?” he finally got out. “I hadn’t been with you for very long. I don’t get it.”

That’s when she placed the box on the ground and stormed right up to him.

“Do I have to spell it out for you? I’m in love with you, Van.”

He froze as the words slammed into him.

“I should have told you that earlier,” she continued. “I should have told you just how important you are to me, just how much I wanted you in my life, but I was too scared. I know you don’t like yourself very much, so I was terrified you’d just run away, or do something to try and convince me to change my mind. But now I know what life is like without you, I don’t want to go through that again. I needed to tell you that.”

Vanitas stood there, completely stunned. He had no idea how to react. Nothing could have ever prepared him for this.

She’s… in love with me?

Aqua let out a shuddering breath as the weight of her words finally caught up to her. Her arms wrapped around herself. She wouldn’t look him in the eye anymore.

“…Please say something,” she got out, as she finally pulled her eyes to his again. “You… believe me, don’t you?”

His mouth opened, but any words he could have mustered fizzled in his throat. He must have looked so pathetic, wide eyed and gaping like that.

No matter how much his mind wanted to reject the mere thought of it, how much his internal logic tried to deny it, her words were so sincere. Questioning them now would truly hurt her.

But there was one question he couldn’t stop himself from asking.

“…Why?”

He almost didn’t recognise the sound of his own voice. It was so… unsure. So unsteady.

She stiffened at that, and already looked prepared to defend herself.

“You have to ask?” Tears pooled in her eyes as she smiled softly at him. “You… see me like no one else has. Sometimes, I wonder if you know me even better than I do. It’s kinda terrifying. But even so, it’s also comforting. I know it doesn’t make sense, but I don’t think love is supposed to.”

He took a hesitant step towards her. He wanted to reach out, but something in him was still so terrified.

“Your friends…” he got out. “They care about you too. Why… me?”

“It’s different,” she told him. “I do love them. So much. But… not the way I love you.” She placed a hand over her chest. “It’s consuming. It feels selfish sometimes, and it’s like I can barely control myself. I can’t stop thinking about you, no matter how hard I tried. And after everything that happened, I… don’t want to let you go again. I would do anything for you.”

“Anything?” The word was barely audible. “What happened to Ventus?”

The question slipped out on its own. He had been dying to know, but this wasn’t the right time, not as she was pouring her heart out like that. Aqua visibly jolted, and he would know that look of guilt anywhere.

“Ven, he…” She swallowed, the pain already creeping onto her face. “He wanted to help you.”

“What happened?”

She winced. He hadn’t intended to interrogate her like this, but there was no use taking it back. Hadn’t he wanted to know?

And he thought he didn’t understand before. This was something completely different.

“When you were gone, he… started seeming more and more like you,” she explained. “Like the two of you were blending together somehow. We think maybe… the reason you were weaker when we first found you was because Ven still held onto a piece of you after all this time. And after… that Heartless, after you found your way to Ven, it was like you were made whole again.”

Vanitas didn’t know what to think. In some ways, it hadn’t surprised him that Ventus had been responsible for his weakness. He had spent much of his existence thinking that very way.

“He said you would talk to him,” she added. “Do you remember?”

“No,” he blurted out. “I don’t remember a thing.”

Ventus had certainly left out that detail during their conversation. He wondered just how aware of everything he had been. If he had been forced to watch as everyone went on with their lives without him.

But no. Aqua had said she was… broken.

“Maybe… that’s for the best,” she spoke, her voice growing hoarse. “I wasn’t… my best. I said some really awful things to him while you were gone.”

He couldn’t really picture it. Aqua loved the idiot too much to ever hurt him. Or… that’s what he had thought.

But now…

“He looks like garbage,” he murmured. There was no bite to his words at all. “That happened when you pulled me out, didn’t it?”

Aqua nodded. “Yes. But… it’s different to the first time you were separated. It may be tough at first, but Ven is stronger now. I’m sure it won’t be long before he recovers completely.”

He was starting to get the picture now. Even if there were still some parts he didn’t understand.

“Is that why the other Masters have been hassling you?” he asked. “I suppose for them, it doesn’t make much sense to risk Ventus for me.”

That got Aqua to look away from him. “Something like that. I think… they were just worried. Especially with who you were in the past. They hadn’t gotten to know you like we had, so I suppose it was to be expected.”

“They should worry,” he told her. “Did you know how strong I’d be?”

It had to be something like that. She just had no idea. She probably assumed he’d go back to his weak, feeble self. The person who had nothing. The person she…

“They… did mention something about that. And… maybe if I didn’t know you, I would worry too.” She pulled her eyes to him. He saw that determination again. “But I do know you. That’s how I know there’s nothing to worry about.”

He could only gape at her.

She couldn’t be that reckless. It didn’t make sense. She knew what she was doing. She knew the risks. They tried to stop her, didn’t they? But she still went through with it.

Vanitas wasn’t fooling around. He was dangerous. Someone so entwined with the light should be able to feel the threat he posed.

He stepped closer again. One last push. “I am stronger now, you know that. More than I have ever been. Are you sure I won’t hurt anyone? Do you really have that much faith in me?”

She still wouldn’t waver, no matter what he said. Those beautiful eyes stared him down again.

“Yes. I do. How many times to I have to say it?”

That resolve of hers shook him to the core. Despite everything he was, everything he had done, it was so unmoving. It was enough to shake even some of his more stubborn doubts.

Standing there in front of her, he had never felt so exposed. So torn open. And yet, the ache within him wasn’t pain. It felt different.

She stared right into his soul. Right into his heart. And what she saw there, she thought it was worth protecting.

Even now, as she gazed at him with a conviction stronger than he could have ever dreamed, he felt more of himself start to crumble.

For the first time in what felt like an eternity, he felt hot liquid pool in his eyes.

Aqua’s face softened immediately as he pulled an arm to his face to wipe it away. He could feel her step closer, feel her arm cling to his.

“I believe in you,” she told him. “I’ve seen who you are. You aren’t a monster. You’re a person who’s suffered so much, one who’s had to fight for so long.”

He clenched his teeth together as a shudder ran through his body. His eyes stung, yet there was a sort of relief with the sensation. He couldn’t even remember the last time he cried. He cried as a newborn before becoming accustomed to the pain of his existence. But he had never cried like this.

Only Aqua could get him to let his guard down this much.

His knees wobbled, on the brink of failing him. But Aqua pulled him against her, into her arms, and he knew she would never let him fall.

“You… get a chance to be human now,” she continued. “And you have no idea how happy I am for you. I want you to live your life without being burdened by the past. It’s over now, and we just have the future to look forward to.”

It sounded like she was crying as well. But he knew her well enough to know they were tears of joy.

Sure enough, as he pulled his arm away to glance at her with blurred eyes, the smile on her face was mesmerising.

He moved a hand to her face and brushed it against her cheek. She leant into the touch.

“And…” Vanitas spoke, needing to steady his voice again. “That future… You want me in it?”

“Yes.” She didn’t even hesitate. “I want you to stay with me.”

He knew then and there that he had never loved anything more than he loved her. He hadn’t thought he was capable of such a feeling, but he kept proving himself wrong.

But more than that. He hadn’t thought anyone was capable of loving him. Wanting him. Not as a tool or weapon, but as a person. Someone to spend a life with.

Someone worthy of the wondrous woman in front of him.

Aqua’s smile was infectious as she gazed at him. He felt it pull at his own lips.

“I wasn’t going anywhere,” he told her. “I’d be a real idiot if I ran away now.”

“Good,” she told him. “Glad you realise that.”

She was so close again. He could only stand there and take in the sight of her. Her eyes shone with her earlier tears. Her hair tousled in the breeze. She was without doubt the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, and he never wanted to let go of her again.

As naturally as breathing, he pulled himself closer, brushing his lips against hers again. She sunk into him, her arms circling around his body. He knew then and there he would never tire of this feeling, never tire of having her so close. Loving him. It still didn’t feel real.

His heart pounded in his chest. He needed to do something. He pulled away just slightly, and something in him ached as he saw her reach for him again. But there would be time for that after. He pulled his eyes to hers and brought out the words he had hidden for so long.

“I love you.”

He watched her eyes widen into the most beautiful expression he had ever seen. But those words shouldn’t have surprised her so much. After everything that happened between them, telling her like this was more of an affirmation than anything.

Then she smiled back at him, and his newly whole heart thudded once again.

“I love you too.”

After the events of that day, Vanitas supposed the festivities seemed inevitable.

The main hall was awash with more colour than usual. With the better part of that afternoon and evening spent entirely with Aqua, he shouldn’t have been surprised that the other two managed to put together something like this. The “Welcome Home, Vanitas!” banner was a bit much, and Ventus still had spots of paint on his shirt from the rush job. He wasn’t sure what Terra had done, but someone had to put those streamers up while Ventus was busy failing to get those letters straight.

At least Ventus was already looking more alive than before. He was sitting at the base of the stairs, happily munching on a slice of the cake that Vanitas and Aqua finally managed to finish. Sure, it may have taken longer than normal thanks to their constant distractions, but he felt confident to say it was the best cake anyone had made ever.

“So,” Ventus spoke through his bite of cake, swallowing before he continued. “You two managed to talk, right? Anything to tell us?”

Vanitas wanted to roll his eyes. Yes, aside from those wonderful distractions, there had been plenty of talking. It was still a weird feeling to be able to discuss things like this at all, but he was more than happy to get used to it.

Aqua blushed as she sat on the steps beside him, close enough that their shoulders touched. Her plate rested on her lap. She was almost finished with her first slice while Vanitas was contemplating getting a third.

He pulled his eyes away from her, just long enough to glance at Ventus. “What’s there to tell?”

“I think he’s referring to the two of you,” Terra spoke up from his seat on the opposite end of the stairs. He stopped picking through his own slice of cake before lifting his fork to point at them. “We just wanna know if we need to start knocking on doors when the two of you are together.”

There was a clatter as Ventus nearly dropped his plate. “Yep. Definitely. I don’t think I’ll ever unsee that.”

Vanitas tried not to laugh, just as Aqua’s head fell to her hands. At least she had explained to him that she just hadn’t wanted her friends to see her in that state. Vanitas understood. He didn’t want them to either. It was all for him.

However, some part of him was still happy to see Ventus uncomfortable.

“That was your own fault,” he taunted. “You know I wanted to see her.”

“Is that what you call it?”

“I’m…” Aqua spoke up, catching their attention. She managed to lift her head, but she still wouldn’t look her friends in the eye. “I’m really sorry about that. We’ll, um, try to be more careful.”

His eyes were drawn to her again. Maybe he did need to control himself a little more. This was all still so new, and while he adored teasing her–he adored everything about her–he should probably rein it in.

“I mean,” Terra spoke up. Even he seemed embarrassed. “You two can do what you want. You’re the one in charge here, Aqua. But we wanna know. Are you… together?”

That was another thing they had talked about at length. He loved her, and she loved him, but it wouldn’t be as simple as that.

“…We are,” Aqua finally spoke. “But I would rather keep it between us if that’s okay. I’m worried the other Masters might try to use it against me.”

She had explained it to him very carefully, that not a lot of people would understand them at first. And he agreed. It was the part that made the most sense to him. He was… him after all. And they were both still new to all of this. Even if they had been ordinary, he figured he would appreciate the space to figure things out.

But that didn’t mean he wasn’t angry about it.

Just thinking about the other Masters made Vanitas’ blood boil. If they even tried to question her judgement, after everything she had done, everything she had given up for them, he wasn’t sure he would be able to hold himself back. She was more than deserving of being Master of this place, more than any of them could ever be.

“It won’t be secret forever,” she continued. “But I want to give them time to know him first. I was thinking we could tell a few of our friends when we see them, but–”

“Old Yen Sid and the rat king can mind their own business.”

They all looked at Vanitas after that interjection, but no one tried to argue. After what Aqua said about their scepticism, how the rat even came over to talk them out of it, he had no patience for them. He supposed he never really did, but especially not now.

“Hey, if they say anything bad about you, they’ll have us to deal with too,” Ventus affirmed. “I won’t let anyone badmouth my friends.”

He still needed to get used to Ventus considering him a friend. As long as he wasn’t too annoying about it, he supposed there were worse things. That went for Terra as well. Vanitas had only just started to accept that he might have been wrong about him. Aqua told him about how he took care of things during his absence, and he was at least grateful for that.

He still wasn’t quite sure how things had gotten to this point, where he could tolerate being around them all like this, but it was all still better than anything he could have hoped for.

“There was more to our decision as well,” Aqua spoke up again. “I guess, I was worried they may insist he trains somewhere else if they don’t think I can be impartial. I still intend to be his Master, that won’t change.”

Becoming a Master was not the most important thing to him, but he wasn’t sure how to tell her that. All he knew was that he would sooner give up his Keyblade entirely than to be forced to train somewhere else.

He supposed his real dream was being someone worthy of her, and attaining the Mark was a big part of that.

She gazed at him with that beautiful smile, the one he would never tire of.

“So,” she spoke. “Don’t think I’ll go easy on you. I expect great things from my pupils, that doesn’t change.”

Vanitas smiled back at her. “I wouldn’t have it any other way, Master.”

“Gross,” He saw Ventus made a face. “Do you have to say it like that?”

“You’re just jealous that I’m the Master’s favourite.”

He said that to Aqua directly, all so he could watch her blush again. But she wasn’t flustered for as long as he hoped.

She huffed. “Nope. I don’t have favourites. If you really are as strong as you say, you’ll be able to take a lot more during training. I hope you’re ready.”

“Oh, really?” Vanitas could barely contain his excitement. “Can’t wait. I’ll take anything you give me.”

When she blushed again, darker this time, it was almost too much for him. He nearly couldn’t stop himself from drawing in closer.

“Hey, Ven,” Terra spoke up. “Just say the word and I’ll get started on that hideout on the other side of the mountain. The one we were talking about.”

Aqua pulled away just to scowl at them and Vanitas couldn’t help himself. He started to laugh, more joyous than he ever had around the others. It took a moment, but he could have sworn he heard the others join in eventually.

However, it was the sound of Aqua’s melodious laugh that drew his notice.

He glanced at her, her face flushed with the mirth, and fell in love all over again.

The charm Aqua made him rested in his pocket. He knew he would never let go of it.

When his fingers found hers, when they curled against him, that’s when he finally accepted it.

This was where he was supposed to be.