Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Techno definitely knew that he was slightly traumatized and generally fucked up.

He was both a enslaved child soldier and an omega, prime knows the two don't usually mix well.And, unluckily for him, Techno had definitely not been the exception. 

Even before it happened, Techno had promised himself to never marry or become an alpha's mate voluntarily. He'd noticed how all the smart, talented and skilled omegas in his bastion ended up after they found a partner.

Why would all of them flush down the toilet countless years they had spent becoming something, climbing an uphill and traitorous battle to be respected, only to give up and fucking have babies for the rest of their life?

When it happened for the first time, at the low low age of 13, Techno became even more bitter about alphas and for a long time he simply considered all them just a bunch of perverted assholes who think they are better than everybody else.

At 16, after years of abuse and failed escape attempts, Techno was finally able to flee from his master. He was lucky enough to find a lit portal close to their settlement that he used and destroyed.

He vowed to never go back to the Nether again.

During the following 2 years of wandering, where he worked as a mercenary for this or that country, he hid his status as an omega.

The hardest part was just finding heat blockers, especially since certain countries had banned them outright. Usually the black market in those places was filled with them so it wasn't much of an hustle. Plus he naturally looked more like an alpha.

It didn't take long until he got pretty famous as one of the best mercenaries that were around and it was now the empires who asked Techno to join.

When he was asked to work for the antarctic empire he accepted immediately since, at the time, it was the richest country to have ever existed.

It proved to be the best choice in his life since the antarctic empire was the only place that he knew about where omegas were allowed to be formerly in important military positions.

Not that he ever told a soul about his predicament.

But if felt nice to just have a safety blanket in case people found out. So he stayed and kept his secret as hidden as possible.

No, telling people he was an omega could just hurt him.

If the people of the empire didn't betray him it was going to be their enemies, and there were a lot of those.

The emperor, Phil, definitely seemed to be much less of an asshole than Techno's former master.

But then again, the second used to own him so the power dynamic was very much different. He still wasn't equal with Phil but at least Techno had some agency now.

Not that that changed the way Techno acted.

He limited contact with the emperor as much as possible, fearing what would happen when his secret got exposed.

But unfortunately his role as a general came before his distrust of the man and Techno was forced to interact with him on an almost daily basis.

Techno could tell in another life Phil might have been a good general, one even better than the man he currently hired. Maybe in that life they could have been equals and comrades, fighting together for the antarctic empire.

But in this universe he was definitely his superior and Techno had learnt from experience you shouldn't trust people like him.

However, he found himself slowly grow more comfortable around him, especially because of his treatment of an omega named Niki.

He always acted professional and respectful when dealing with her, as if her presence at the war council wasn't weird or unnatural.

Stares everytime he enters war councils.

Eye rolls everytime he so much as suggests the slightest change in plans.

Patronizing quotes about how unhappy and angry he seemed to be and how much better, how much calmer, he would feel if was taken as a mate and settled down.

Phil seemed to be a lot better than his master and so Techno decided to treat him slightly better. He didn't immediately close up when the king tried to converse with him about private stuff and, while he still kept a healthy distance between them, he subconsciously started to treat him as a friend.

This sorta friendship with the king became a problem quick.

By actually listening to him Techno started to notice things about Phil. He was determined and smart and funny and handsome and kind and didn't act power hungry.

And Techno, like the fool that he was, started falling for him. He fell swift and hard for this man and he resented himself for even considering the possibility of...

He wasn't even sure what he wanted out of this crush, this stupid foolish crush.

It's not like he was going to act on it.

And even if he were to act on it Phil would definitely just reject him.

Come on, he's an emperor and could have anyone he desires, he's not gonna choose the weird omega that looks and acts like an alpha and spends his time playing general.

He's definitely got better, more suitable candidates that would line up to be his devout servant, have his kids and never so much as blink without his permission anymore.

That wasn't the kind of life he was cut out to have.

A lot of people from his life before had insisted that because he was an omega he would be much happier if he just tried to mate and discarded this whole 'war' thing.

It was in his nature to desire that lifestyle.

Techno doubted it. Honestly, he thought it was much more likely that he'd kill himself if he was ever forced to be like that.

He had sworn off of love and devotion a long time ago and some silly crush wasn't gonna change that.

Niki had been scheduled to work with him in the western border and, because they basically lived together and Phil was still at the capital, he got to really converse with an omega from the empire about stuff.

It had all started when they captured an enemy camp and they had come across some enslaved people, some of them clearly being the same kind that Techno had once been.

Niki didn't even stay long enough for the soldiers to finish untying them and rushed to her tent, muttering a string of cuss words.

Techno gritted his teeth and stayed through the whole procedure , making sure none of the soldiers did anything to the newly freed men.

They took them to the town close to their camp and temporarily settled them in the city hall. Techno ordered Sam to check on them since he was the most trust worthy of the bunch and rode back to the camp to check on Niki.

After he got the girl's permission he entered into the tent and found her crying on her bed. She looked up.

"How could somebody do such a thing?" 

Techno stood there. He wasn't sure what to say without reviling the secret he wished to take to the grave. 

"I don't know, it's terrible. Where I'm from it's so common that nobody bats an eye when they see one of them."

"That... can't be true."

Servants that didn't even look at him twice when they saw him naked and bleeding down there when they cleaned his master's room.

Dignitaries that hadn't batted an eye that a 14 year old was being pulled around the fortress with a chain around his neck and torn clothes whimpering at anybody to let him leave.

"Trust me, it can. It's one of the reasons I left."

"I... I can't even begin to imagine... The Empire abolished It before my parents were even born."

"Yeah... It's..."

"How do people even get off on that? It seems so disgusting."

Techno didn't fully understand this statement. Of course they can get off to powerlessness, they are alphas, they crave submission.

But he didn't want to come across as if he was defending them, especially since she probably thinks she's talking to one right now.

"There are some sick ass people in the world. I knew some of them."

"Yeah..."

There was a bit of awkward silence after that.

"Can... I ask you a question? You don't have to answer."

"Sure."

"How did you realize it was wrong? Especially since you're an alpha and..."

Fear that someone his age shouldn't experience.

Terror that this was going to be the time he got pregnant and became bound to the alpha he despised.

"I was also enslaved. For war but still enslaved." 

It was true, that was supposed to be his main purpose, to be an unbeatable war machine. His master had just preferred the second purpose.

He left a bit after that. He didn't sleep that night, terrified of whatever nightmare his brain was gonna make up.

Around this time were some of the greatest victories the empire had seen yet which Techno found... problematic.Yeah, he should be happy that the empire is prospering but...

Victories meant parties and parties meant alcohol, something Techno was decidedly not fond of.

Especially in public.

He didn't want to lose control over his own thoughts and have somebody use him again.

And since he was friends with Phil and the king would often pester him about keeping him company he became known as the weird dude who was constantly sober at parties.

Another thing that Techno found problematic about this period was that a lot of people, mostly omegas, came up to him and tried to flirt/hook up with him.

And boy, was that a hit to Techno's self-esteem.

He had never really thought about his gender performance that much but now he could barely go a day without noticing something that made him look like a fucking alpha.

Big shoulders, way too much muscle, a sharp chin, short hair and a narrow waist. Even if he wanted to there would be no chance to find a respectable alpha if he looked like this.

The fact that he was still very much in love with Phil at the moment didn't help at all and, while this was on paper the most successful year in his life Techno had never felt this much of a failure.

A failed partner.

A failed parent.

A failed omega.

Either Techno was going insane or Phil was going insane.

Neither of the options were promising.

The thing is Techno is pretty sure Phil's flirting with him. Or trying to get in his pants. Especially when he's drunk.

Like when he has to carry him back to his room and, as Techno is laying him on the nest, Phil will make a joke about this being his wedding night.

Or that time when Phil had hurt his leg because he wasn't being careful on the icy road and Techno had to carry him bridal style. Phil had smushed his face into his chest and whispered something about how cool he is.

Or that time when Techno had actually fallen asleep in his bed and Phil had made a joke about finally having gotten him.

Or that time when Phil, basically black out drunk at that point, had looped his arms around his shoulders and muttered something about how great Techno was against the man's ears.

Or that time...

Whatever, he was probably just reading too much into it because of his crush.

It definitely wasn't real.

Because Phil is an alpha and Techno was assumed by everyone to be one too.

"Alphas don't mate with alpha look-alikes. That's just against their nature, they need subservience, a partner that can be behind them to celebrate his successes."

That was just how the world run, right?

At the end Phil discovered about his predicament totally by mistake.

Techno was in his office working on plans to break a siege when he had to go to the bathroom in his office.

The problem was Techno had been up at 3 in the morning and, by all accounts, he should have been dead asleep at the time. Asleep in the room that was connected to the office.

And in the meantime Phil had just been woken up and informed that a lieutenant had betrayed them and had told the enemies about their plan to use TNT on the walls and had told them the amount they had.

So, since Techno was the most important person in the military apart from Phil himself, the king rushed to wake him.

And, since Techno had made sure Phil never entered the office, the king went to the first door available, hoping Techno was in there.

So Techno was interrupted in the middle of peeing by his crush and superior opening the door with wrinkled clothes and hair that hadn't seen a brush yet.

Phil swiftly closed the door but Techno was sure that the man had very clearly seen his bare private parts. A different kind than what was expected.

When Techno got out of the bathroom Phil was waiting right there for him, with his head low and a blush creeping on his face.

"So sorry, should have knocked or at least shouted." 

"We don't have to talk about this. What is the problem?" 

Phil's blush expanded a bit, which confirmed to Techno that he has been found out. Luckily the king didn't press any further and instead started explaining the problem to him.

When they got to the emergency meeting with the other generals Techno could barely pay attention to the discussion, instead clenching his legs together and looking around the room frantically.

He felt as though he was 14 again, sitting right next to his master and waiting for orders to either kill for him or pleasure him.

It was so fucking stupid.

He was safe.

He was physically stronger than most of them and could overpower them with ease. 

The only man stronger than him politically was Phil and he could probably use his bones as a toothpicks. Not that he was an easy fight but here, inside, he would be destroyed.

There was another omega in the room and Niki would help him if necessary.

He was safe.

So why did he feel like the room was closing in on him?

"I think we should talk about... you know... What happened yesterday." 

Phil was staring at the floor while fiddling with his hands.

While Techno's expression remained almost completely neutral, his brain immediately went into overdrive. It took him a couple seconds to calm himself down enough to answer.

This is Phil.

Phil is nice.

He is safe.

Techno could do this.

"Okay... What do you... wanna know?" his tone stayed unnaturally flat.

"Oh no, nothing. Just wanted to apologize again, you know." 

Techno smiled.

Phil is nice.

He is safe.

"Yeah, don't worry about it. It was an accident, it happens."

"No really, I'm so sorry." He looked up an him, a slight blush on his cheeks. It was quite cute.

"I get it, we don't have to talk about this anymore." Techno waved his hands in front of his chest.

Phil's blush got weaker and a smirk crept onto his face, like it usually did when he was about to tell a joke.

"I mean, I could make it up to you..." Phil stepped forward and looped his arms around his neck, the smirk still very much present.

Techno huffed and shoved him away slightly. "Ain't that joke a little too much? You horny ass." 

Phil's smirk grew wider. "And what if I'm serious?" He put his index finger right over the first botton of Techno's shirt.

Techno took a step back, and then another. "Phil drop this, I'm serious."

"Come on, don't be a prude." Phil reached to try and fiddle with the buttons.

Techno slapped his hand away and took yet another step back. He was sweating and could hear his heartbeat in his ears. 

No.

This couldn't be happening.

Not with Phil.

He was stepping closer, the alpha was stepping closer.

"Come on, promise you'll have a good time." Phil's eyes were dazed with lust as he kept walking forward.

Techno was immobile.

Why wasn't he moving?

Why the hell wasn't he moving?

He should run. Fast.

Phil was now all up his personal space, he looped his arms back around his neck and got close to his ear. "See, I knew you would come around."

"Please don't." Techno whimpered pathetically.

Why wasn't he doing something?

He was a 7' 2 militarily trained man. He could do more than lightly object verbally.

He could most likely snap his neck.

His hands couldn't move. No part of his body could move.

Phil started unbuttoning his shirt, making a pleased sound when he got no objection. "Wow, you're so obedient when you want to, huh? You could be such a good partner, such a suitable mate."

And then Techno woke up.

In his bed.

Alone.

Completely dressed.

He was trembling.

"Fuck..." He muttered under his breath.

He started crying. Fuck, he was crying.

Nothing had happened. Why was he crying?

He was fine.

Phil hadn't done it.

Nothing happened.

And still he cried, fat tears slowly trailing down his face and on the pillow.

After what felt, and probably was, hours of uninterrupted crying, trembling and hushed reassurance that he was in fact fine, Techno fell back asleep.

Techno woke up a few hours later.

Or was woken up.

By Phil.

For a second Techno thought that he was back in the nightmare so he jumped away from him, starting at the man with dilated pupils.

"Sorry, didn't mean to spook you. Just wanted to check in on you, you weren't there at the meeting today and we're currently in the middle of a war so..."

Why was Phil acting so casually after...

Oh...

Right.

Nothing happened. Phil is fine. Everything is fine.

"Yeah sorry, I'll show up next time." He felt in danger. An alpha was standing next to his bed while he tossed around in it with an half unbuttoned shirt.

Something was gonna happen.

"No worries, was everything ok?" Concern laced Phil's voice.

"Yeah, just didn't sleep well is all." This quote could probably win the title for understatement of the century but whatever.

"Oh, that's good. It's just, you've never missed a meeting since you got here. Do you wanna eat out with me?"

"No thank you, I'm too tired." He squished his face into the pillow.

He wasn't tired at all, he just needed some time to process that Phil wasn't a danger to him.

Everything is fine.

Phil pushed him lightly and started smirking. "You sleep for 14 hours and you're still tired? At that point you should just hibernate."

Techno suddenly felt the completely irrational urge to beat that expression out of Phil's face.

"You know what, I think I just might." It was irrational. Phil was safe. It was stupid.

"Please don't, you're the only sensible general around." They both laughed for a bit. 

"I have to go now, eat something before you hibernate."

"Alright nerd."

When Phil was firmly out of hearing range Techno shoved his face into the pillow and shouted.

Why was his brain acting this irrationally?

Nothing happened.

Techno punched the pillow. Hard.

Chapter Text

It was weird to think about the fact that this was going to be the first time Techno had ever experienced peace.

In the nether wars were basically a constant, any empire worth anything was perpetually at odds with at least two others.

When he became a mercenary Techno never stuck around after peace arrived, he had tried the first time but, after a week of feeling useless and purposeless, he had packed his bags and ran somewhere else.

But the empire felt so much like home to Techno that he decided against leaving. 

Phil had seemed happy about it. Or at least Techno thinks so.

It's probably just because he needs a general. Phil doesn't care for him and he definitely doesn't like him back.

The smile so wide Techno could see his teeth and the warm hug he had received didn't matter.

It wasn't real.

He just did it to be polite.

Definitely.

At the end Phil never asked clarifications on his status as an omega, not in real life at least.

He did have some other dreams about him. They were better that the fist one and in these Phil only made a sly comment about it being unnatural and how he would never allow his partner to do something like this.

The dreams still inexplicably hurt.  

His stupid ass crush for Phil wasn't ending, in fact it was getting worse.

Especially since Phil was trying to be extra nice because, Techno assumed, he wanted to show he was sorry for entering the bathroom without permission.

He had started paying for Techno's food when they went out to eat. Techno tried not to feel bad about it: Phil was the emperor of the richest country in the world, it won't hurt his finances to get a friend lunch.

It wasn't weird.

It was just to apologize.

It wasn't gonna be like in his dream.

Their relationship is totally platonic.

They are just friends.

He was safe.

His stupid crush could go right to hell. He wasn't gonna act on it even if it lasted , he safe right now and didn't want to compromise this to get... 

You know...

Whatever omegas get from relationship.

Which probably isn't much.

Techno had always thought he would keep his promise to never be an alpha's mate. Apparently he was much easier to break than he thought.

The thing is, saying no to your crush after he just confessed is hard.

Especially if you care about him as much as Techno cared about Phil. 

And so Techno had been truthful and had answered the very poetic love confession with a simple 'I love you too'.

Phil had this lovestruck expression that Techno couldn't believe was directed at him. He leaned forward slightly and Techno, getting the hint, slowly pressed his lips against the alpha's.

The weird thing was how pleasant Techno had found the kiss. It was very chaste and slow and Phil was keeping his hands to himself. He wasn't gripping him by the hair and keeping him there, just letting it happen naturally.

Without really thinking Techno looped his arms around the man's neck.

Which was a bad idea. A really bad idea.

Now Phil was gonna deepen the kiss and push him against the wall and...

The bells started to ring and Phil pulled away. "I have to meet nobles. See you later."

Techno blushed and pulled his arms away. "Yeah, see you."

"Love yah." Phil gave him a quick peck before turning and running towards the throne room.

Techno brushed his lips with the tip of his fingers.

That... That had been nice.

He had been into it. 

He hadn't felt gross.

"Love... you... too." He said to no one in particular, as Phil was already out of sight.

Techno had definitely started regretting kissing Phil. 

The thing is that Techno was now in a relationship, or something close to it, and his partner didn't know about it.

And he definitely should.

Techno should have informed him about the fact that he wasn't his first and that he had been used before. 

Because Techno was sure that if the alpha had found out about it earlier this relationship wouldn't have existed.

They had been in Phil's room and were messing around a bit when he told him. At some point Phil had jokingly shoved him and Techno had ended up against the mattress.

It was as painless and playful as it gets and most of all it was very innocent. 

Techno still froze.

Someone he'd rather forget shoving him into the bed, grabbing his arms and using him so long he passed out.

"Hey, you alright? Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." Phil slowly moved his hands towards his face, stopping when he was over it to wait for his permission.

Techno felt so undeserving of the gentleness he was receiving. He was just an already used omega who enjoyed working as a general way too much.

"Yeah, it's fine." He should just tell Phil, then he would understand what a piece of shit he is and start treating him accordingly. "Just brought back some bad memories is all."

Phil somehow started looking even more concerned. "Is... Do you mean what I think you mean?"

"I mean, probably." And of course his stupid throat closed up right after he started the conversation.

"I... I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry that happened to you."

Techno had braced himself for a lot of reactions. He'd been prepared to be insulted, shamed, mocked or a lot of others.

He hadn't been prepared for whatever this was. This is not not what he was supposed to say.

"It's... Yeah, we don't have to talk about it."

He was forcing Phil to be polite, to not express the disgust he was definitely feeling. After this conversation ended Phil would find an excuse to leave him.

"I mean, I won't force you but if you want to talk about it we could..."

"I... Are you sure?" Maybe he could use this to turn Phil off, to make sure he noticed how disgusting and unnatural he truly is.

"Yeah, wouldn't have offered otherwise."

Phil was way too understanding, way more than Techno deserved.

"I... was basically letting it happen. I never fought back. Not in the middle of it at least, like I tried to run away a lot but while it was happening I would just... laid there... and take it."

Phil was still staring sadly. "Yeah, sometimes fighting isn't an option..."

"But I could. I could fight at the time, I was as strong as him. I could have stopped him and I knew it. I never did."

And ok, maybe that was a bit of an exaggeration. The fight would have been very close even if nobody joined in, and somebody would have definitely tried to restrain the slave revolting against his master.

But Phil didn't have to know that.

"Then there must have been a reason you didn't fight." 

Chains around his neck and knees pressed so hard against the ground they ached. His back, his bare back, was being roughly hit by a whip. 

That was just his first escape attempt.

"Of course." It was stupid that Phil was even asking this question.

"So fighting wasn't an option." He said it so casually, as if he were talking about some universal truth.

And logically Techno knew Phil was right.

He still felt as though he could have done more to prevent what happened to him.

"Listen, if I'm understanding this correctly there was a very important reason for you not to fight. It wasn't your fault."

"If you didn't want this to happen you shouldn't have been in the military. This place wasn't meant for people like you."

"Smile, your Master is coming. You don't want to give him a reason to be harsher on you."

"Don't wail like a child slut, you brought this on yourself. If you had just been obedient this wouldn't have happened."

"Yeah, I know."

"Good, remember that." 

Phil seemed to believe this so much that Techno didn't have the heart to contradict him.

Techno is pretty sure that their relationship is going good.

They haven't done anything explicit in the last 2 months since Phil's confession and their relationship had stayed almost identical to before they got together, only with a little bit more teasing and a whole lot of kissing.

Techno is okay, he's happy and he feels comfortable whenever they kiss and stuff like that.

The problem is Phil is an alpha. 

And alphas need something more than just a few kisses and hugs, they have urges to fulfill and what Techno was currently doing wasn't gonna cut it.

Phil needs more that just stupid lovey-dovey shit.

And he isn't even trying to initiate any of it. In fact he isn't even trying to deepen the kiss or touch him below his waist or slither his hand under Techno's clothes.

And he's still just as nice and happy whenever they hang out. He's always got those lovestruck eyes when they part for a kiss, something that Techno didn't even deserve.

He really needs to do more for Phil. That way maybe he can keep himself useful to him.

The first time things get heated is 4 or so months into their relationship, it happened while they were staying at a random noble's castel that was hosting them for the duration of the current war.

Phil had been daring him to spar for a whole hour, sometimes even giving him a light punch, and Techno, just to get him to shut up, had lightly shoved him against the wall, pinning his arms above his head.

It was purely on instinct and Techno regretted it immediately.

His mother cautioning him against playing fetch with the children outside as soon as it was clear he was an omega and instead trying to get him into playing with dolls and do "less violent" games.

People constantly remarking on how if he looked happier and less threatening he would be able to be somebody's mate.

He immediately released Phil's hands.

Shit, that was emasculating. He had just emasculated his mate. He should not have done that, Phil would be upset.

Phil decided to use his newfound freedom to loop his arms around Techno's neck, he was smirking despite the light blush and did not seem particularly upset. "Hey~"

Techno just huffed. He wasn't sure what the hell this was about.

Phil ever so slightly leaned forward.

Techno closed the distance between them and kissed him. While Phil still had his back against the wall. In a room where maids could enter.

And it was nice, Techno was into it. But... You know... He should be the one pinned against the wall. Not that Techno wanted to be with his back against the wall, in fact he would probably hate it. 

Alphas should not enjoy being shoved against the wall by their taller and physically stronger omega mate. They should want to shove, pull, slap, pin and fuck.

And Phil is very clearly into it. He's gripping at the back of his shirt, biting slightly at his lower lip and he's lifting his leg so that it wraps around Techno's body.

Techno kind of wishes he wasn't as into it as he was. But Phil was making all these pleased moans whenever they broke for air, noises that Techno found himself reciprocating. 

And when he grabbed Phil's leg the other one lifted immediately and Techno pressed him fully against the wall.

Before he came here Techno had hated making out, especially if it was long. As the minutes passed by he would feel the disgust and fear wash over him, one wave stronger than the next.

It was just waiting for the torture that was about to happen.

Right now though, Techno felt as though he could do this for days if Phil wanted it too.

Techno was wet. He could feel his underwear getting soaked and he wasn't sure whether he had ever been this aroused in his entire life.

It didn't feel wrong even when Phil started gripping at his hair and pulling on them to expose his neck, something that his master had done a lot. Techno let him, just like he let him lick a stripe on his neck and over his scent glands.

After God knows how long they parted ways since Techno had to meet with some lieutenant. He only thought back about what happened when he went to bed.

And he almost felt disappointed.

Not because the experience had been bad but because he had definitely been the dominant one.

Shit, of course Phil was into that kind of stuff. 

Come on, Techno's a war general, way too bulky to be desirable, not a virgin and he would definitely be a shit caretaker. 

Of course Phil only wanted him to complete some weird fantasy.

What else did he have to offer if not that.

It's not like thing changed after Techno's realization.

He still talked with Phil. He still kissed him. He still smiled and laughed at his jokes.

Sometimes it becomes so easy to forget that he's just Phil's plaything. That Phil doesn't and never will love him.

Like that time that Phil gets him a pair of earrings for no apparent reason. They were a pair of small golden hoops with some simple patterns. They were probably worth nothing to the emperor and there was a high chance this was an old pair of earrings he already owned but Techno still couldn't help but wear it all the time. 

And, unless Techno was going insane, Phil always looked at his ears and smiled when he saw Techno was still wearing it. Hopefully it wasn't some sick joke.

Or that time he helped braid Techno's hair. He had brushed his hair for way longer than necessary, sometimes tugging a piece of hair back behind his ear.

Phil was being so careful with it that Techno couldn't help but feel loved. Especially when Phil had hugged him from behind and tenderly pressed a kiss on the back of his head after he was don

But no, he should not think about that kind of stuff. He wasn't going to be with him for long. This was just a stupid fling that Phil would get over one day.

He would get his sense back and realize he could have better.

The day he realized he needed something serious. The day he was no longer allowed to do whatever he wanted with his love life. The day he had to have an heir. 

He was just a taboo fling. He isn't permanent.

As soon as Phil told him "Can we talk?" Techno had known what was about to happen.

It's not like he wasn't expecting it.

"Ok, what is it?" He tried to act as thought that frase didn't send shivers down his back. 

Techno had hoped that they could last at least a year before this all crashed and burned. But alas, he had made his bed the day he accepted and now he would lay in it.

"Worthless little omega. There's a reason they don't allow people like you to defend our sounder."

"You're ruined. No one will ever want you as anything more than a bedwarmer."

"I just... You know... Wanted to make sure everything was fine after what we did a week ago."

And ok, that was different than what he was expecting. 

"Yeah, of course. Why wouldn't it be?"

"Nothing, i just wanted to check in and make sure you didn't just do it because you felt like you had to. You know, since you told my about your past I thought it would be best."

Even though he was pretty sure this was normal Techno still was slightly weirded out at being given this much importance. Especially since Phil had acknowledged the fact that he had already been used. 

"Okay..."

"You sure? We can just not do it if you don't feel like it."

Phil, an alpha, had just said that he was willing to stay with him regardless of wether they had sex or not. An alpha just told him that his companionship was more important than sex.

Techno was so confused in whatever Phil saw in him.

"No, I was okay with it. I liked it." He was pretty sure he was blushing like a teenager.

"Good. That's good. If you ever change your mind please just let me know." 

"I promise." Techno was pretty sure this promise wasn't going to be kept but alas, Phil seemed like he needed it.

Phil immediately bear hugged him and then gave him a peck on the cheek. "I'm glad. I was really scared I had made you feel pressured somehow..."

Techno had never felt this loved and cherished before.

It was taking them a long time to move from making out to you know, actually doing it. But Phil still seemed pleased and Techno was very comfortable so he was not going to bring it up.

Despite their lack of... you know... actual sex, Techno had still started sleeping there for some reason, so much so that it felt more his own than his actual room. 

Techno's room was connected to his office and remained rather spartan, there was a single bed, a small table, a small library and a wardrobe. It also looked very empty since generals usually have much more lavish apartments.

It just screamed 'military general with no other thing going on'. 

Techno didn't use to despise that label as much as he did. But now he found himself wishing he could just... erase it all and be Phil's. You know, like officially, as a mate.

Shit, he was turning into those omegas that give up on their careers, dreams and aspirations to be with some random alpha.

Techno really needed to knock it off, that kind of life would be shit and he knew it. 

But at least it would last forever.

Phil would have to leave him one day, even if he truly loved him. It's just how it is.

Chapter Text

When Niki came to his office late at night and whispered "Can you walk home with me, please?" Techno wasn't sure where to hit his head.

It seemed so unlike the confident young woman he was used to but, since he could tell by the desperation in her voice that this was very  serious he just went with it. It's not like he had much else to do.

So he closed his book, put on his coat and signed for her to follow him outside. Niki looked like she was shivering, it wasn't clear wether it was because of the cold or just some sheer concentrated fear.

There was a man outside the building, basically covering the door with how he was standing. Just... a full grown middle aged man standing outside a military building at 3 a.m. for no reason.

And, as soon as this weirdo noticed Niki tucked as close as possible to his jacket he rolled his eyes. "Really, had to inconvenience someone just cause you're a pussy, omega? There was no need, it was just a compliment.".

Niki just flinched. Even if it was muffled, Techno could hear the "It wasn't just a compliment..." loud and clear. That statement was so... disgustingly familiar that it felt like like somebody infused him with pure adrenaline and protective instincts. 

"Fuck, you would look so good pregnant. Would be such a good sow, wouldn't you?"

"Listen, you look good enough to be someone's bedwarmer. Why don't you drop this military bullshit and just act like it?"

The idea that Niki could be in a situation even half as bad as his was genuinely terrifying. Techno's so fucking glad he took it seriously and he shuddered to think about the chance he had been home today.

He grabbed Niki by the shoulder and kept walking at full speed while the girl tried to disappear against him, not even bothering to say a word. It sounded like she was crying. 

He hates how familiar he is with this kind of response. He hates how he remembers being mute for days the first times it happened, that is until he noticed that was just what they wanted out of him.

When they reached her home Niki sighed out of relief. She smiled and whispered "Thanks. Sorry for the inconvenience."

Techno cupped her face. "No inconvenience at all. It's safe for you to go home, right?" He felt the incessant urge to ask.

"Yes, it is. That dude doesn't live close to here, he was just a wandering drunk." It sounded truthful, hopefully she isn't lying and this is a one time thing.

Niki was about to turn around and go home so Techno gently pulled his arm. 

Because holy shit, what if something happened and she ended up pregnant? Or if she was bleeding and needed to make sure it doesn't get infected. "Did something before you called me? Because if it did you should get certain medicines."

He was not gonna leave another person like him, scared of being pregnant by his attacker. Having to take care of a kid that looked exactly like his master had almost been scarier that the rape itself.

"No, nothing happened. Just a really bad comment." She paused and looked him up and down. "You're really informed about this."

She didn't even need to say the 'why?', it was very obvious. And maybe it's because of the event that just happened, maybe it's because Niki is an omega just like him, Techno told him the truth.

He still whispered, desperately afraid someone else will hear it. "I'm an omega and... It did happen to me, multiple times. It was before the empire but when I came here I felt like I needed to know what to do... just in case" 

Niki looked stunned. "Really? I... I thought you were an alpha."

Techno huffed. "Of course, I don't exactly publicize it. Also don't tell anybody that." He bit his lips, looked to the side and continued. "If this ever happens again just know that you can come to me, doesn't matter if it's 3 a.m. and I'm sleeping."

Niki hugged him hard. "Thanks again, your secret is safe with me." She sounded so relatively carefree after a night as bad as this one.

It was nice to know he'd made an impact.

It was summer.

Actually no, it was the closest thing the empire had to summer. The temperature was still barely above 12 °C and you still had to wear cloaks almost everywhere.

Which still felt freezing to Techno but was apparently enough to encourage Phil to walk around naked every possible occasion. 

It's not like he minded, not at all. 

Still, maybe he should have tried harder to hide how much he's enjoying Phil's displays since right now he's basically ogling him openly. The alpha certainly isn't doing it for him to get off, why would he? 

So whatever, the next time it happened Techno just kept reading his book very intensely, much more than necessary. He probably looked flushed as hell.

There was no half naked god with chiseled abs in his room, just Techno and a very good book. Maybe if he repeated it often enough he could actually believe it.

And it was working for a while, at least until Phil wrapped his arm around Techno's neck and laid his head on his shoulder. "What are you reading?" He said, clearly not interested at all.

What does he want? Can't he just be upfront and ask? Techno would have preferred it much more. "I dunno, some weird romance novel I found in the library somewhere."

Phil hummed, stopping the conversation there. He just stayed there for a while, sometimes passing his fingers through Techno's hair.

And then, as soon as he was getting used to cuddling while reading, Phil just hit him with "You're so pretty, I can't believe you're even in my bed..."

Oh... Oh... So he was the dumb one. 

Phil had been trying to get something going and now Techno looked like he had just done his best to avoid it at all costs. He was probably so fucking done with him, probably thought he was a weird disgusting little prude or something. 

He closed the book immediately. "Oh really? Well, I can't believe that a God somehow came in this room and started to claim he's my dear Phil."

The alpha chuckled. "Don't say that, my head's gonna get too big and I'm gonna become an egomaniac."

Phil probably liked it. He's an alpha, they like this kind of shit, love being told they're strong and would be a good mate. 

Making out with Phil always has always felt like a duel. They are both trying to rile the other up as quickly as humanly possible with any means necessary, from somewhat artificial moans to teeth that barely scrape his lips to "accidental" gropings here and there. 

It's so hot. Yeah, Phil gets to feel him up and see one of the most vulnerable moments possible but Techno can do it too, he isn't just an object to Phil's satisfaction. In fact, the alpha seems to only enjoy it if Techno also is.

Yeah, alphas aren't supposed to be like that but who cares? It's hot and it reminds Techno that this isn't like in the past.

What's different is at some point, after they are forced to take a break since they are barely breathing, Phil slowly moves his hand towards Techno's shirt. "May I?" 

It sounded like a plea, a desperate and filthy plea. A plea that he wholeheartedly accepted.

Techno had never really been naked around people of his own volition. It had always been on someone else's order.

He thought he didn't like nakedness. He thought he would never even let someone pass his fingers over his clothes, nevermind trying to take them off.

But this... This felt natural, sacred even. Phil had never been violent or demanding and, even if he didn't believe their relationship to be serious, Techno still immensely trusted Phil to make this good.

Phil stroked his finger against the omega's chest. "You're amazing..." His tone is low and... Fuck, it feels so genuine, so true in any way possible.

It makes Techno wish this was his first time even approaching sex. It's not, his first time's always gonna be back in the Nether with his 30 year old master but... He can pretend, just for tonight.

And it's nice... It's nice not to think about all that for once. It's nice to not care about what he's supposed to do.

He pushed Phil against the bed instead of trying to think about a response and it was amazing, he moaned so nicely Techno really couldn't help it if he immediately started playing with his belt. 

Taking off his pants was awkward, especially since neither of them really wanted to stop touching each other. It was relaxed, Techno giggled a few times, there isn't any pressure to look good or anything.

And then he turned towards a now naked Phil. It's... Weird... Definitely weird. Phil definitely doesn't look like his master, they're as different as they come both in looks and attitude. Still, he can't... He can't stop thinking about it.

It's weird because... he can't find a specific reason for it. It's just... the fact that someone he recognizes as an alpha is standing there naked and erect, very erect. That's it, it's so stupid.

He should be happy about this, Phil wants to fuck him and finds him attractive. It still feels bad, he can't stop thinking about what would happen now if he was back there.

"Stop moving and give in, I don't have the energy. And be quick about this or there will be consequences."

"I don't care that you're tired, you do remember that an alpha experiences pain after they reach a certain level of arousal. Repeat it to me so it gets through that thick skull of yours. Ugh, act all smart and shit while you can't even understand basic laws of nature."

Whatever, he was sure he could push through this. This was gonna be fine, Phil is nice and this is all gonna be fine, this wasn't going to be like the last time he saw an alpha completely naked. He won't think about that, it would just spoil the fun.

So he tried to soldier on through it. It was probably gonna be fine as soon as they get back to it, right? Except when Phil kissed him and started to lightly grind against him Techno doesn't feel anything but hot white panic.

He wanted this a few seconds ago.

He doesn't want it anymore.

He isn't sure what to do.

Phil had specifically said that it was fine to ask to stop if he ever didn't like the sex, right? He should do it.

It's not like he's naive enough to think there wouldn't be any consequences based on what he does but... It's Phil, the worst he could do is never speak to Techno again and, while it would be terrible, he'd experienced so much worse.

He should ask.

He wanted to ask. 

But how do you do that? Is there a protocol or a code or something? Or do you just tell your partner you don't feel like it? It's not like it's an option that Techno has had before coming here.

So he just opted for grabbing Phil's arms and whispering "I don't... Can we please stop?" Even if he logically knows he is safe, for a second Techno can only think about the truly dreadful idea of Phil ignoring what he just said and going on.

It didn't happen, Phil kept his promise and immediately stopped touching him. "Ok. Everything alright? Did I say or do something you didn't like?" 

Phil shouldn't blame himself, he has been so nice and caring all throughout. It was just Techno and his stupid head to blame for this not happening. "No, it's my fault, you did everything right."

Phil shushed him. "Nobody's at fault, you weren't enjoying it and we stopped. Nothing bad happened, it's alright." He hugged Techno hard.

The alpha kept insisting on being nice the whole night for some reason. He got some maids to bring them very expensive sweets and prepared him an hot bath himself.

It was... It was so unnecessary. He hadn't even asked for food or a bath, he just expected Phil to fall asleep beside him while he didn't sleep all night.

But it helped. A lot.

He was able to fall asleep in the same bed as him, quite an achievement really.

Techno had just spent three hours in the training ground because this knight named Skeppy that he didn't really know kept insisting on rematches to prove he was stronger. And it had been fun, genuinely.

As soon as they heard the bells ring 5 times Skeppy started to shout a string of cuss words. "Shit, I was supposed to home an hour ago. Fuck, Bad is gonna kill me."

Techno tries to find anyone by the name of Bad somewhere in his memories. He comes up empty handed. "Who's Bad? Is it actually his name?"

Skeppy laughs. "He's my husband, you know, the one I married last year. And of course his name isn't Bad, his son used to call him that and it just kinda stuck." 

It's weird, newborns usually don't speak that much but maybe human babies are more advanced or something. "You already have a son after one year? Congrats" 

Skeppy looked at him weird. "Nah, Sapnap's from a previous marriage. Lovely kid, we get along and all but he's not mine."

Techno flushes. "Oh... Sorry, I didn't know." He also didn't know omegas who had had previous partners could mate with someone else.

Where he was from that was a huge taboo. If your mate dies you have to remain celibate and if there's even a rumor that you have broken it you can and will be cast aside by the community, even your children.

Apparently in the empire really important, respected members of society can marry omegas with full ass kids and barely anybody gossips about it. He hadn't even heard about it untill now and he tried to pay attention to what people whisper about.

A small part of him cheers at that. If that had been ok maybe it meant Techno could also do it. Maybe Phil could be with him forever, maybe they could marry and have children and all the other stuff Techno wasn't allowed to do back home.

Probably not though. He was and still is an emperor, they have higher standards for partners that anybody else. They have to produce heirs worthy enough to lead the biggest empire in the world.

He curses the world for giving Phil that title. If only he'd just been a general...

Maybe then he could have had all the thing his teenage self had thought were out of reach from him.

Maybe he could have had all the things his teenage self secretly wished for in his dreams.

So... Techno was talking to Niki, something that he did a lot now. Mostly about politics as there were so few omegas there and a lot of alphas had different political choices.

And he easily recognized something.

Niki didn't seem to realize that discrimination against omegas wasn't just done by alphas. Every time they talked about his past she seemed to only ask what alphas had said about a situation.

"You do know that a lot of omegas are just as vicious as alphas when it comes to discrimination, right? Because I get the feeling you don't realize how prevalent it is." He asked at one point.

He could tell you from experience that a lot of omegas are just as sexist as alphas, sometimes almost more just because of their sheer focus on it.

Niki looked at him weird. "Is it that prevalent? In a place as bad as where you're from?"

He almost laughed at the idea that omegas would be less sexist back there than here, where they had rights and weren't taught to act like objects all their life. "You'd be surprised. They have a whole ass different kind of misogyny to use, it's fantastic."

"What do you mean? A different brand of it?" 

Techno nods. "Yeah, it's a thing. They usually act like the good ones that know their place and are prepared to teach their fellow omegas just that. Make me wanna barf to be honest."

"You really have no value, why would you give up everything that would have made you a good omega? Trying to join the military, so absurd. Of course you ended up as a pleasure slave."

He shuddered because holy shit, that's not something that he wanted to remember. That's not someone he wanted to remember.

But whatever, the disgust was not going away. Might as well talk about it.

"There was this one who was the worst of them all. She was like... my master's wife or something. She'd just given birth to her 7th child and so they had this celebration because she was good at breeding or something."

Niki jumped from where she was sitting. "Seven?! How is she not dead?" Techno shrugged. Let's just say, there was a reason they were celebrating it.

"Anyway, she decided to use that day to teach other omegas a lesson. I..." He has to force himself to remember that it's fine, Techno can tell her about your experience, she's not gonna exploit it.

"She casually caught me when I had just become one of her husband's sex slave and... I had just tried to escape and had been whipped, was still bleeding and all. She pointed to me and started going on and on about how if I had just acted like an omega should everything would have been fine. It was..."

"Oh... Wow, that sounds traumatic." She sat closer to him and tried to put his hand around his shoulder.  "She sounds terrible..."

Techno shrugged. "Yeah, she was. Thing is... She was also a victim. She was like 13 or something when she got married to a 30 year old and I don't think I've ever seen her not pregnant for more than a month altogether."

He laid down on the bed and spread his arms. "It's hard to reconcile what she did with what happened to her. She's... I'm not sure which of her actions should be counted more."

Niki nodded. "It's weird when the victim becomes the bad guy." 

And the thing is... Techno isn't sure if she had the real chance to become a better person. He isn't even sure if she realized how oppressed she was.

It's... It's fucked up is what it is.

Phil was acting a bit weird. Way too happy and cheery for a guy that had to sit in his uncomfortable throne for nine hours today. 

He'd also stopped Techno from going in his office to get some documents and insisted to grab them himself, which was completely unnecessary. He was adamant that everything was alright and they should meet today at 7.

Techno tried to trust him but it was so fucking obvious he was hiding something. Phil had clearly found a replacement, that's the reason he was smiling all lovestruck today. It had to be.

They'd probably done it yesterday on that fucking way too big and way too soft bed. Phil probably talked shit about him after he'd done it, about how he was a fucking already used prude that isn't giving him what he needs and probably will never be albe to since he was ruined.

Yeah, that seems about right. 

Why the fuck was he insisting on meeting today? Was he already going to tell Techno what a bad partner he'd been?

Techno was a mess. He barely even ate all day and he cried while he was changing. He was putting on his good clothes just to have Phil break up with him and it was fucking with his brain.

"I don't care that you're sad, an omega should always look presentable. You think alphas will care about your feelings? You're his bitch, you don't get to have off days."

He just hoped that Phil miraculously changed his mind during the day. He wasn't sure if it was best for him but Techno definitely wanted him to.

He was acting so selfish. It's fine if Phil doesn't want him anymore. It's fine if he wants to cast him out and never talk to him again. Techno should only care that the relationship, or lack thereof, is good for Phil.

As soon as Techno opened the door he noticed that Phil was acting exactly the same and was incredibly disappointed. He didn't even look tired after 9 hours of working with nobles and insisted on going on a walk outside when it was already dark.

While they were going wherever Phil wanted them to go, the alpha just kept talking on and on and on about weird and boring topics. He usually only does this when he's nervous as shit.

Also Techno had no idea where they were going which didn't help his mental situation at all. Why couldn't they just do it inside, maybe in Phil's room. He was gonna have to grab his clothes from there anyway, there's no reason to do it somewhere else.

Phil finally stops at a door and his wings definitely puff up in excitement. He grabs Techno by both his arms and gently leads him inside.

There's... The room's some sort of closed garden with a whole ass fish pond. There are freshly lit candles all over and there isn't a single fallen leaf anywhere. This place was definitely prepared a few hours ago at most.

What the fuck is happening? This isn't usually the place you would use to break up with somebody.

Phil visibly exhaled. "So... We've been together for a long time, haven't we? And... You know... Fuck, I forgot what I was supposed to say." He stopped for a second to collect his thoughts. "As I was saying... almost 2 years already. Everything's going fine and we're pretty serious so... I thought this was time to... make it official, you know?"

What the hell? Phil... Phil isn't trying to court him, right? He can't be trying to court him. This is not supposed to happen, he should be breaking up with him, Techno doesn't deserve this.

Phil shoved an hand in his pocket and pulls a rectangular box that probably contains a necklace. "I know this isn't the best speech ever but... I love you a whole lot and I want this to be forever, what do you think?" He was holding the box in front of himself with both his hands, arms outstretched towards Techno.

"Sweetie, honey, nobody is ever going to want you to be their mate and nobody ever wanted you to. The fact that you lost you virginity doesn't change that, you're way too smart and you talk too much. That's not how good omegas act, do they?"

Shit, that's actually happening? Did Phil just go mad? He can't genuinely want this, he can't want Techno of all people. He's just a taboo fling, right?

Techno exhaled and inhaled a couple times. "I think we should break up." 

The thud the box made as it fell on the ground was so loud Techno is pretty sure he could hear an echo.

Phil's looking at him, pure distilled desperation in his eyes. "You're joking, right? Please tell me you're joking. I don't... Is it too early for you? I can wait if that's the problem. We can talk, we can find a compromise, can't we?" He slowly moves to cup Techno's cheek.

It's the first time Techno's ever flinched away from him. "You... I... We shouldn't even be together, you can't be asking me to court me. You shouldn't."

Phil's eye started getting wet, he was actually about to cry. "What do you mean when you say I shouldn't? What's the problem?" 

Why was Phil this desperate? Couldn't he just call Techno a bitch and leave? This doesn't make any sense, Techno should be the one begging on his knees.

"I... You aren't... We can't be together." Why can't he understand this? The problem's so obvious, he should know exactly what he's referring to. "We can't be together... I've already been used by other people before and it's clearly effecting the relationship negatively. You also need someone the people will be ok with...somebody that's definitely not me... It's fine... It's just how it is, I won't blame you."

"Techno... Techno, you're a person. You can't be used or bullshit like that. You were raped... You're not some sort of toy." Phil's wings open wide, almost knocking over some of the candles. "And even if it had been consensual, so what? Your sexual history doesn't influence my decision on wether I want to court you or not."

What? No, that can't be right. That can't be true. 

They said any alpha would care, they told him that any man would be intensely repulsed even just speaking to him, they told him that if he told any possibile partner they would use it as an opportunity to do it too.

And to top it will off they also apparently fucking lied. "Whatever you say..." It can't be false, way too many people told him that. It had to be true.

Phil grabbed him by both shoulders and stared intensely. "Tech, you know how many people I've been with, right?"

Techno nods. "Yeah, I do." He isn't sure if that's supposed to make him feel better, the reminder that Phil didn't want something serious.

Phil's wings close up a bit. "Did that stop you from getting in a relationship with me?"

"That's different..."

"And why is that?" Phil took yet another breath and stared at him with so much pity he wanted to vomit. "I did because I wanted to, it was all my own choice and you... You didn't get to choose. Why is what happened to you bad for our relationship and what I did isn't?" 

It seemed so obvious Techno feels dumb explaining it. "It's because you're... You're... you know... You're an alpha and..."

It's like somebody just slapped him in the face. Why did it make so much sense in his head? As soon as the words left his mouth they felt foreign. This was not something that he believed, he would never tell someone else that, not in a million years.

It... It sounded too similar to what people used to tell him and... it had messed him up. A lot. And now he was turning around to tell Phil the exact same thing.

He had probably just started hyperventilating, not that he noticed or cared. There were much more important things to worry about. "Shit, I can't... It sounded so logical in my head and now... Fuck, I ruined this... I'm sorry, I should go." Techno took a step back.

He just ruined this... He just ruined his only chance with Phil. He found somebody who accepted him, who didn't mind how he looked, the fact he had a job or the fact he wasn't a virgin and ruined it all for no reason.

"Nothing's ruined, not irreparably at least. I still... I'll ask again if you want me to." Phil was fucking smiling again, after Techno made all this mess and forced him to endure a lot of negative emotions.

Techno looked down. "You shouldn't have to..." He loved the idea, loved how considering Phil was of his feelings but... It just didn't feel right.

"Who cares? I love you, I'm prepared to do so much more. That isn't much, I understand what happened." He cupped Techno's face with his hand and stared at him with so much care, so much love, Techno felt like he was about to explode.

"To clarify, I don't need nor want you to stop working and have lots of kids. Because I know that's what marriage means in some countries."

Techno was even more confused at this. "Then what do you get?" Just... Why was marriage even a thing here? If what Phil was telling him was indeed true then there didn't seem to be some big incentive to get married.

"I get to be yours." Phil said, as if that were the most natural thing in the world. Man, saying this to an omega back in the nether would immediately get you branded a submissive little bitch.

Alphas aren't supposed to say that kind of stuff, they are supposed to be disgusted by it. Or so he's been told.

But he definitely believed in Phil much more than them. 

Techno looked down sheepishly. "So... If the offer is still up..." He drags his boots against the ground. "Yeah, I accept."

Chapter Text

So... Techno was now apparently engaged. 

It's weird to think about it. Weird and very very nice.

It's the intense colture shock of moving from a country where most people have arranged marriages when they're 13 or so to a place where that whole thing would be both very illegal and very disgusting to the population.

And Techno was still trying to understand it. He was trying his best, alright? But this is barely even close to what courting is supposed to look like back in the nether.

Most of all, the fact the he could actually talk one on one with the person he was going to spend the rest of his life with. In the nether you had to always be with a chaperone that would discourage you from... you know... having actually serious conversions.

The chaperone needed to make sure the engagement went through no matter what. Even if the two people were clearly not compatible and the rest of the marriage would be absolutely dog shit. 

And it's nice that this is more private for now. Genuinely.

Phil has clearly been trying so hard to make sure he's comfortable and feels loved. He has been giving him all sorts of lavish gifts and has been so kind, accepting and all that good stuff.

It's still very hard to shake the feeling that he doesn't deserve any of this.

Techno was forced to leave the capital to handle a weird skirmish on the northern border.  

This time it was even harder to say goodbye to Phil. There were no indications on how long it was gonna take for them to resolve it and there were talks that a war was on the way.

Techno really hoped it wouldn't come to that as it could really complicate things. Not just his engagement but the whole socioeconomic status of the empire.

And he currently cared enough about the Artic to call it his home. It would be terrible to see this golden age crumble around him.

Staying up north wasn't awful, he had Niki and Skeppy to talk to and he didn't feel particularly lonely or anything. In fact, it was almost nice despite how much time he spent working.

But he missed Phil quite a lot and, despite the daily letters they sent each other, he still felt so torturously far from the man. 

The bed felt so cold he slept in felt so cold now, so much so he could barely sleep the whole time.

He found himself walking around the castle mindlessly one of those nights. He casually crossed paths with Skeppy, who was apparently also up at the same ungodly hour of the night. 

"Dude, what are you doing up?" He shouted, apparently not even caring about all the poor residents who were probably trying to sleep.

"I could ask you the same exact question." Skeppy side eyed him. He, for some reason, still gestured for Techno to join his little 4 a.m. walk.

They must have walked next to each other for half an hour before Techno spoke up, simply because the silence was way too oppressive. "Is it hard? Having to leave your husband this often."

"We've... Bad and I were a weird pair. Left each other and got back together a lot, I kinda got used to it." Skeppy looked downright embarrassed as he shrugged and looked down.

"I honestly think leaving for a bit is a good thing. I always pulled all these sick pranks on him when we were younger, just to purposely annoy him. I think it actually took him going back to his homeland for me to self reflect a little bit."

Techno probably agreed to some degree. But still, it's annoying that just when he was starting to let himself enjoy this relationship he's forced to leave for a couple of months. "Yeah but... It's very lonely."

"It is." Skeppy nodded absentmindedly. Then something finally lit up in his brain and he suddenly looked up energetic as hell, a wide ass grin on his face. "Wait... Do you have someone back home? Has the great Techno finally been struck by Cupid's arrow?"

Techno flushed at the accusation because holy shit, their engagement isn't even public yet. He should be more careful about who gets to know it and who doesn't. "Perhaps..." He can't deny that now, can he? 

Skeppy giggled. "So... Who's the lucky guy? Or girl... Whatever, who are they?" 

Techno considered just lying to Skeppy but... You know... He would probably find out soon enough so why bother? "It's Phil..."

Skeppy snorted. "Oh wow, the emperor's gotten with another alpha again. Congrats by the way, I heard he's pretty good... You know... In the bedroom." 

Techno grimaced. "First of all ewww, please don't say that kind of shit in front of me. Plus I'm an omega so..."

To be honest, the longer he has stayed here the less he has cared about hiding the fact he was an omega. Guess that's what happens when you life for so long in a country where you actually have rights.

"Oh really? Sorry, I just didn't know." Skeppy said extremely casually. "Thank God you are, I am not ready for our colleagues to go back to sing that song about Phil. It was fucking dreadful."

"What song?" Something that probably shouldn't have asked as Skeppy immediately smirked.

"Oh you sweet innocent soul." He shook his head. "It basically went like the prince of Antarctica found a mate and apparently cock's his favorite taste-" 

"I didn't ask you to sing it, God almighty. It's fine, I get it." Techno pushed Skeppy against the wall as the alpha just kept on laughing like a maniac.

Techno got back to the capital in the middle of the night after a month up north.

He hadn't expected Phil to greet the very tired procession, especially considering it wasn't really the norm. The man was also wearing full royal regalia just to make it even more puzzling for the people who don't yet know about their engagement. 

And, to be honest, Techno would be a liar if he said he didn't enjoy that. If he claimed that this amount of care wasn't something he'd always craved.

It was... It was way too much. Phil should be sleeping right now, not standing in the cold with stuffy clothing Techno knows he hates. Does he even deserve this? He probably...

No. Techno's not gonna think about that. Phil did this without being asked, he chose to this because he thinks Techno deserves it and it isn't useful to try and disprove that. 

They're engaged for goodness sake. Phil clearly values him quite a lot. It's fine, Techno can just enjoy this, he's allowed.

And Techno's going to. He's free now, he isn't some dude's pleasure slave anymore. Why should he still treat himself like one?

Skeppy elbowed him as they took the horses to the stable. "It seems like someone's very excited to see you..." Techno rolled his eyes and didn't bother answering.

They heard knocking on the door a second after and, just for a moment, Techno worried that whoever was outside could hear what they were talking about.

Turns out, it was just a squire named Nick he had met a couple of times. He must have been around sixteen, with black hair and some weird flame tattoos on his cheeks. 

Skeppy immediately smiled and went to hug the kid. "Sapnap, my man... How's life?" He tugged the poor kid against his chest and ruffled his hair. 

Oh... That's Skeppy's stepson. Cool, right, got it. 

"Fine old man." Sapnap started pushing his stepfather away laughing. "Leave me be or I'll set you on fire."

Skeppy did back off, putting his hand up in a show of surrender. "Alright, alright, calm down..." The tone clearly wasn't serious though.

It's... He was being a bit disrespectful, wasn't he? Is... Is it normal for parents here to do this? It's probably just because Skeppy isn't the biological father, this can't be how children treat their parents here.

Back in the nether you can't even call your father just by his first name, you have to use his official title. And here is this kid calling his father 'old man'. That would get you an harsh beating and a whole lot of reprimanding.

Sapnap looked up to Techno and saluted. "General, His Highness asked me to talk to you. He said to meet him at his office as soon as possible to discuss the northern mission."

His office... yeah. The office that, by complete coincidence, just so happens to be opposite to the emperor's room. Very subtle there Phil.

Skeppy seemed to notice and winked at him while Techno tried to inconspicuously leave with a blush on his face.

It took him a lot longer than he expected to finally reach Phil's room. He first had to explain orders to the troupe he had present, then he had to take off his armor since he was about to collapse under his own weight and he got stopped multiple time to receive congratulations for his great job at the frontier which slowed him down significantly.

The First thing he notices it that the room's just the way it was before he left. There's this weird feeling of nostalgia that hits Techno as soon as he sees nothing's really changed, the weird desire to morn the last moth he spent separated from the man.

For a second it's just him and Phil alone and completely quiet in a room just for themselves. Neither of them seemed prepared to talk, all too worried that this was gonna be just a dream. 

"It's... It's nice to be back." It feels weird to speak, feels weird to ruin the perfect silence between them. "Missed being here, missed you..."

Suddenly it's like a dam broke. Phil grabbed him and went in for a kiss, so desperate and so gentle at the same time. Techno looped his arms around him, pretty certain he could hear himself moan through it. 

They part breathing heavily, still clinging onto each other as if either of them was gonna disappear soon enough.

"You're gorgeous... Just... Absolutely stunning..." Phil caressed his cheek, smiling like he's the luckiest man on Earth.

It should feel like a lie. Techno's just taken off his armor, he's sweaty, probably dirty as shit and his hair haven't had a good long wash during the whole one week journey.

And, that's the thing that baffles him, it sounds so true.

What is Techno even supposed to say? It's just nice. He grabs Phil by the hair and pulls him towards his lips because god, they've been separated for more than two seconds and he needs this, desperately.

They started to walk backwards towards the bed, barely even noticing it until Phil's legs have hit against it. The alpha got a bit startled and Techno remembers giggling at his exaggerated reaction.

It's then that he was hit with the image of Phil half naked under him. His hands reached for the buttons, for some reason deciding to try and make that a reality. 

Phil grabbed Techno's hands, stopping him. "You're sure about this, right?" His voice, while definitely trying to just appear stern and caring, is laced with desire. 

Techno nodded and got back to unbuttoning the man's shirt. It's probably slower than necessary but Phil doesn't seem to mind and it makes Techno a lot more comfortable.

This... This isn't a rush, they have time and are both prepared to wait for each other. This is for the both of them, Techno isn't some object for another man's pleasure. Phil clearly wants him to be into it.

Techno pushed Phil on the bed when he was done and goes to straddle him. He let himself take a second to just look at the man underneath him, to note the way his skin is almost clear of any scar and the way his blonde hair look like a halo all around his head.

He's never gotten to just... enjoy seeing another person naked in front of him.

A hand suddenly cupped Techno's cheek. "You alright?" His fiance was smiling up at him, as reassuring as always.

"Yeah, it is. I want this." It was something Techno hadn't expected to say. Explicitly saying you're okay with  could be used against him, to claim that he'd been into it even if he changed his mind. 

But Phil wouldn't do that, would he?

The alpha tangled his fingers into Techno's hair and gently pulled the omega towards his face. They kissed for what felt like eternity and it really did feel like the whole world was reduced to Phil and his soft as shit bed.

There... There really isn't a delicate way to say this but Techno's cunt was right over the alpha's dick and it kept pressing on this weird spot that makes Techno shiver and moan around the alpha's mouth. It's... Fuck, it's so good.

He was so wet. 

He took off his shirt, mostly because he felt way too hot all around and he would have to do it at some point. Phil bit his lip and let his finger slide in the crevice between his abs which was... very unexpected for Techno.

Phil moved his other hand to grip Techno's bicep. "Oh wow.... You're fucking beefy." And that's... That's supposed to be a compliment, right? That's the only way he can interpret this. 

It feels like a compliment, Techno definitely blushed because of it. How were you supposed respond to something like this? He wasn't really sure.

"You're gorgeous... Look so good under me." It's something he never expected to say in a million years. While he already knew Phil was into this kind of stuff, Techno had thought this was a bit too direct even for him. 

But he clearly saw Phil flush red right before turning to shove his face into the pillow. 

Techno slowly reached for the man's belt. "May I?" It felt so wrong, the fact that he, the omega, was asking Phil to do something. It felt so natural, the way Phil moaned out from under him and nodded at his request.

He decided to tune out the first. Even if it is unnatural, this is way too good to be concerned about it.

Techno unbuckled the alpha's belt and threw it somewhere else, then slid off of his lap and watched as he took off his pants and underwear. 

He couldn't hep but notice that Phil's dick looked slightly bigger than his master's. Which probably means this will hurt a lot if his past experiences mean anything. It's gonna be tort...

No, he's not gonna think of that. Phil is a different, much more considerate person, it will probably be better. It has to be better. Also Techno's very into Phil and he can endure a bit of pain if he gets to see the man's abs for half an hour. 

He slowly inched his way towards the man's chest. "Wow, you're... Your skin's so clear." It probably sounds so stupid but, to be honest, Techno found himself not caring one bit. 

"Bit of a weird compliment but I'll take it." Phil giggled and tucked his hands into Techno's back pockets. "Need any help getting out of these, sweetie?"

Techno kind of wanted to accept but... It felt very weird in his head and he really didn't want to stop now so he just decided to go with the safest choice. "I'd rather do it myself." Phil nodded and moved his hand from there. 

It's when he starts unbuckling his belt that it hit Techno just how excited he was about this. He was biting his lips and he could feel his heartbeat in his cunt.

Fuck, Phil was looking at him like he was the most beautiful person on Earth.

Techno felt like the most beautiful person on Earth. It would be hard not to because God, his fiance's such a sweetheart, he really made the correct choice accepting.

And he's the one to throw himself over Phil's lap to try and make out as hard as possible. The alpha's skin feels so cold in comparison to Techno's hot hands and he doesn't care one bit.

Phil leant down, licked his lips and slowly started to move his hand towards his cunt. "You okay with this?"

Techno nodded because holy hell, this feels fucking filthy in the best way possible. He whimpered as soon as his fingers touched the inside of his cunt, the painful friction barely even registering in his brain.

And immediately fucking retreated. Which is a lot less good.

Shit, did he do something wrong?

Phil... He isn't looking at Techno with disgust and it's hard to piece together why else he would stop this fast.

"Umm... So like..." The break Phil took almost killed him though embarrassment alone. "I don't think you're wet enough to do this without being in pain. I think it would be best if we used oil, can you get the one in my bedside table?"

"Wow, you really are dry as a fucking desert. Fucking ruined whore, can't even please people correctly."

No, those are different. Those are very different, Phil was just saying it because he didn't want Techno to be in pain. His master was complaining that he wasn't pleased well enough. 

Still, this feels fucking embarrassing. It's the wettest he's ever been and Phil still thought it wasn't enough. "Oh... Okay." He must have sounded defeated as Phil immediately caressed his cheek. 

"Hey, there's no shame in that." And God, was that reassuring, especially how true it sounded coming from Phil's lips. "I don't mind, my only concern is that both of us can enjoy this and neither is in pain."

"Yes, I know." So Techno slowly leant forward and fetched a dark bottle and just handed it to Phil because, to be absolutely honest, he wasn't sure how this will help. 

Phil poured it on his fingers rather generously. "Still okay with this, right?"

As soon as Techno nodded the alpha slowly  inserted one of his fingers inside Techno's cunt. And holy fuck, this is so much better. Techno definitely let out a shameless moan.

Phil smirked and moved his middle finger to press on Techno's clit. "Fuck, Phil... There..." Shit, this feels good, this feels nice. Techno arched his back.

The man added a second one pretty quickly and started to spread it. At that point Techno basically blacked out and started to mouth at Phil's neck, moaning against his skin.

Phil definitely knew what he was doing and it was amazing, Techno had already basically forgotten about the lube incident. "Phil... fuck me please."

He wasn't sure where he got the boldness to even say this kind of stuff. Whatever, Phil definitely moaned and he had looked pleased about it so why should he stop?

"Fuck, you have no idea what you're doing to me, do you?" Phil's left hand started to press on his clit while the right one kept thrusting in and out of cunt, making such filthy wet noises. "So pretty and strong and still begging for me..."

"Phil..." He wasn't even sure what to say in response to that. He just blushed and started to caress the man's extremely defined chest. "Please..."

Finally Phil listened to him and moved his hands away from Techno's throbbing cunt. He still whimpered but fuck that, he needs Phil's dick inside of him.

Techno just went in for a kiss. Mostly because he hoped Phil would get horny enough to get on with it and finally fuck him.

Phil poured the oil on his finger and slowly pumped his cock a couple times. Techno just stared at his fiance as intensely as possible and God, he was pretty sure he could watch Phil do this forever, fuck is his fiance attractive.

At some point Phil took his hand off his dick and just set it on Techno's shoulder, which should definitely be a bit disgusting but felt anything but. 

Techno, with slightly trembling hands, slowly guided his partner's cock so that he could sink down on it. 

And it just did. Yeah, it took him a couple seconds but he wasn't in pain, like not at all. Which... That was possible all this time? He'd grown up hearing literally every single omega around him complaining about how painful it is.

Phil slowly caressed his back, his fingers getting stuck in the middle of his spine for some unknown reason. "God, you're tight..." He sounded weirdly lethargic despite the fact that Techno could feel an half blown knot under him. 

Techno experimentally rolled his hips and was rewarded by the feeling of Phil's pointy nails scratching at his back. It definitely touched some old scars he got because of whippings because the skin felt so raw in some places.

It was... It was weird. Techno expected to be disgusted by it but it felt good to some part of his brain. Just the weird combination of the slight pain with the overwhelming pleasure he felt as Phil's knot made contact with his clit did it for him for some reason.

Techno hesitantly raised himself up and then let himself fall down on Phil's dick. Shit, the sound of skin slapping felt so nice to Techno's ears. "God..."

He started to actually build up some pace. Phil was holding his waist and Techno definitely could feel the tips of his nails breach skin just enough to not feel distracting.

"You're so hot..." Phil moved one of his hand so that he could caress Techno's chest, starting up almost amazed. "Fuck, I'm close... Can I knot you?"

"Yeah... Shit, do it... Knot me." Techno didn't even have to think about it for more than a few seconds. It's the first time he's ever wanted it this bad and he loves every second of it.

Phil went in for a kiss. It was sloppy, a bit too desperate and the fact that Techno was actively thrusting up and down definitely didn't help. Techno never wanted this to end. 

God, the sound of skin slapping and Phil's slight huffs against his lips was gonna be forever burnt into his brain now.

Fuck, the pleasure is building. "God... I love you..." Techno's heart his beating louder and louder against his chest and he can only concentrate on bouncing on Phil's cock. 

"I love you too." Phil went to brush Techno's cheek with his hand. "I'm coming, shit... You're amazing at this."

Techno barely even registers Phil coming before his knot spread the lips of his cunt. For some reason he doesn't feel trapped at all, for some reason this doesn't feel as possessive as it had been in the past.

Techno gasped and he's pretty sure something wet trickled out of him. He let himself fall against Phil's chest, both of them staying quiet and just breathing heavily for a while. 

"Fuck... We should go again." It slipped out of him... for no discernable reason. And well, it's not like it's false or anything so he's not gonna retract it.

And it's weird. It's weird that he can do something that caused him so much physical and psychological pain and love it so much to ask for more immediately after.

It's weird that it wasn't painful at all.  

It's weird that he was physically on top.

There are lots of things that feel weird to Techno. He barely even cared anymore, not when what's 'natural' feels so shitty compared to the other options. 

"Good lord Tech, haven't even pulled out yet. Give me a break." Phil lightly slapped Techno on the calf a d giggled. 

If Techno can tell the mood though, and he definitely can, they're going to go for a second round, most likely soon.

Phil is the first to bring up children. Which was kind of an overdue topic considering they were already courting and in a year they would probably be married.

They were in bed at the time, just enjoying a pleasant Friday night. When suddenly, completely out the blue, Phil looked up and went "So like... Do you want kids or nah?"

The weird part was that he was asking if he even wanted children and... that surely wasn't allowed for royals, right? It's one of their main job to have an heir.

"I mean, never thought about it to be honest." Which isn't a lie. He hadn't even thought he was going to have a mate, why would he care about kids. Also it's not like birth control existed back in the nether, nor would he have been allowed to use it if it existed.

"Oh, really?" Phil sat up and smiled. "I always thought two would be the perfect number, though it's definitely mostly up to you."

First of all it was very weird Phil only wanted two at most. He expected something like 4.

But, more importantly...

"What? It's... It's up to me? What do you mean?"  That's not how it usually works. Yeah, he expected Phil to involve him in this but... as equals, probably with some sort of advisors involved. His opinion about this couldn't be more important than either. Mostly the advisors, they must have some say in how many children an emperor can have.

Phil looked a bit weirded out to be honest, as if this were common knowledge which, it probably is. "I mean, you're the one that's gonna have to be pregnant and give birth. Also it might take you a while to get back working after that. It just makes sense that your opinion matters a bit more, doesn't it?"

Techno was surprised by how much joy a sentence could give him. 

Because Phil had just acknowledged that being pregnant and giving birth weren't just a walk in the park. He didn't just wave off all the shit that could come from it and just say that it's a natural process. 

"Yeah, it does." He stopped for second, not sure if it was inappropriate to continue. "I just... Where I'm from this isn't even a discussion, you just have to deal with what nature gives you."

"Nice, ten to fifteen kids. Just the right amount to neglect them all." Phil giggled, even though he definitely looked horrified by the idea of it. Which was good news since Techno also found the number ridiculous.

It was nice to notice that he could joke about this kind of stuff with his fiancee, it made Techno feel much more understood. "I mean... It's more like 7 not counting abortions and stillbirths but yeah, pretty much."

Phil suddenly sat up and stared at Techno very intensely. "You're exaggerating, right? Please, please, please tell me you're exaggerating..."

His reaction seemed like bit too much. Yeah, they were quite a lot and most of them didn't grow up in the best conditions but... That's normal, right?

"Is 7 really that high a number? Like, that's the average back where I'm from." Techno sighed and looked down towards the mattress. "I mean, I don't want 7 but it's just how it is, right? What's the average here then?"

Phil grabbed Techno by the shoulders and shook him a bit. "Two, Tech... The average is two. I'm pretty sure I've never even met someone with more than 4 kids"

"Two is..." Two kids felt like a ridiculously low amount. It was dangerous to have that little as they would probably all die and leave you with no descendants. 

It clearly was a lot different here.

Not that it's a bad thing, in fact the more he thinks about it the more two seems like the perfect amount for him. "Two's perfect, I think."

Pregnancy without that much grief. It's something Techno never thought he would want or get to have.

He used to be fucking terrified of it. Terrified of being forever tied to someone through a living breathing organism. Especially since in the nether he would be forced to marry the father.

But he trusts Phil a lot and he genuinely wants to spend the rest of his life with him. This man, this man he's about to marry, makes forever sound like the sweetest dream. "Would they have wings? Our kids, I mean." 

Phil smiled so radiantly Techno was afraid his eyes would burn. "I hope so. Though you have to keep in mind even two avians struggle having kids with them these days." 

Techno giggled. "Bummer, wings look cool. Only reason I even got with you." Phil rolled his eyes, held Techno as close as possible and messed up his hair.

And maybe it was weird that Techno genuinely looked forward to having kids. Maybe he had hated the idea for a long time.

But he's safe now. He's safe and he's got a partner that loves him. He wants different things now and maybe that's ok, maybe it's good to open up a bit.

He hopes at least one of his future kids will have Phil's hair.

There's one single thing Techno's actually a bit worried about concerning his wedding.

The first night.

That's kind of his nightmare to be honest. Mostly because of the (almost mandatory) expectation of sex that specific day after a whole lot of stress and annoyance. 

But Techno can calm himself down about that. He knows Phil doesn't want to force him into anything and, to be honest, after his first consensual time it became a bit easier to get in the mood and stay in it.

The thing is... He isn't really sure wether or not he would have to undergo a virginity test or something.

It's not a problem in the sense that it's going to stop Techno from marrying Phil. Most of them can be cheated very easily if you know how to do it.

Thing is, he'd rather be prepared. Both physically and psychologically, since a lot of them are really invasive.

He asked Phil one night as they were about to fall asleep. "So like... The wedding night, what do I have to do?" 

Phil turned to him, visibly tried to make sense of the question. "I mean... We don't have to have sex if that's what you mean. It's just one night and it's ok if you're tired or don't feel like it."

Which is very good reassurance but doesn't really answer his question. "No like... Do I have to go buy blood at the butcher's or am I fine?" It's probably the worst way he could have said this, ever. 

The alpha winced hard, as if he had no idea what Techno was referencing. "I don't... Why would you need animal blood on our first night?" 

Oh right, he might not know about this. "So like, in the nether they do this thing called a 'blood ceremony' where you like... show people the sheets after the wedding night to make sure the omega's a virgin." 

"They do what now?" Techno watched as Phil visibly went through the five stages of grief in a couple seconds. "Is it actually called 'blood ceremony'?"

"I know it sounds ridiculous but... you know... It's a thing." A fucking stressful and invasive thing that traumatized a lot of people. Yet another thing he's being told doesn't need to exist and that he won't have to endure.

"Well, it's not gonna be a problem here" Phil turned around to hug him. There was a long moment of quiet after that, so much so Techno was pretty sure the conversation was over.

Phil plopped his head right next to Techno's and sighed hard. Even though Techno couldn't see his expression it was obvious he was upset about something.

He moved his head and stared intensely at Techno. "You didn't accept just because you were expecting somebody to stop the wedding, right?" 

"No, absolutely not." Just the idea sounded so wrong and predatory that Techno couldn't stand it. "I was just expecting to fake it, it's quite easy to be honest." He almost started to explain how but he decided to reconsider.

Phil seemed reassured by that. "Alright, that's good... I was a bit worried for a second." 

That, for some reason, kind of upset Techno. He really didn't want Phil to be this unsure about wether the relationship was consenting.

He appreciated the care but still. "I trust you, I really do. And maybe in the past I was a bit too closed off but... From now on I promise you that I will always talk to you if I'm worried or I don't want to do something."

He took a big breath. "You've helped me through so much and I don't think there are words strong enough to describe how grateful I am for that. For you the world Phil."

Phil blushed hard. He lightly pushed Techno away from him. "God damnit, you overshadowed my proposal."

"Phil for the love of God, we were having a moment..." Techno said giggling.

Chapter Text

Going public with the engagement is weird.

It was definitely the hot topic for a few weeks and, unfortunately, Skeppy was definitely not spared from the dreaded return of a slightly modified version of that one song. 

Not that he didn't participate a little bit as Techno definitely caught him humming it once. 

If you ignore the odd joke, there didn't seem to be any strong pushback against their marriage. In fact a lot of people congratulated Phil on finding a promising, dedicated, cunning and loyal mate who has already done so much for the empire in so few years of living there.

Which, hearing himself described by other people was... something. It seemed like nobody saw this engagement as weird, nobody seemed to even be thinking about the fact that he didn't act like an omega should.

Did this little people care about gender roles here? Apparently yes. 

It wasn't... Most people he worked with were barely even surprised when they found out he was an omega. In fact a fair amount of them just... still thought he was an alpha, despite being engaged to one. 

Something that apparently can and has happened before. Even inside the royal family according to Niki, as she helpfully explained when Techno asked for clarification. 

He was still a bit surprised something like that could happen.

Most of the actual planning was just left to the discretion of this noblewoman Phil was related to. 

And it was so boring. 

This woman... Man, she was acting like chosing the correct color of flowers for the table was a matter of life and death. 

And like... Techno understood that sometimes this kind of stuff is important at gatherings but come on, it's not like he has to have a strong opinion on everything about the wedding, it's just a one-day ceremony, as long as it's not disgusting or shabby Techno can survive. 

She kept going on and on about how it was about to be his big day and how he was going to remember it for the rest of his life. Techno got annoyed about it really fast.

Shit, he was happy, fucking overjoyed even, to get married and spend the rest of his life with Phil but just... the language she was using was making him shiver. 

This isn't going to be his fucking crowning achievement. A very significant date, yes definitely, but the best day of his life, hell no. 

Techno's still gonna be a person after the wedding. His life isn't going to go downhill as soon as he finds a mate, good and bad things will still happen to him. 

God, he knows that. He really does and he would love for people to stop acting like this is going to be the most perfect day of his life.

He had been at rich people's weddings back in the nether and they were luxurious, seemingly idyllic affairs. 

And most of couples never seemed happy, both during and after it. A golden chain is still a chain, it doesn't matter how much you try and cover them in jewels and how refined you make the design. 

All this shit doesn't really matter, Techno knows that the marriage is going to work out wether or not he chooses pearl or porcelain napkins. Not that he can really tell the difference between the two anyway.  

The tailor was a lot less annoying. Mostly because they were treating this like one of their normal assignments. 

"So, what do you want to go for? Because I have no idea to be honest." 

"I don't... Whatever is traditional works." It's not like Techno was going to wear the outfit a lot after this, he can handle being out of his confort zone for one day.  

It'll be fine, he doesn't care about the actual celebration that much. As long as he's married and doesn't tarnish his reputation he's fine with anything. 

"The thing is..." The tailor tapped their fingers on their desk. "There isn't a single tradition for wedding attire, especially in your case."

"In my case?" Oh right, he looks weird in traditional omega clothing. It's something they had reminded him of for a long time. 

It not like... It's understandable really, Techno's got a weird body type and he's very muscular, of course he looks much better dressed like an alpha.

"Yeah... We've had like 3 omegas who worked in the military and married royals and all of them took completely different paths." They turned around and started to rummage through an old bookcase. 

Oh, they meant that... Yeah, sometimes it's easy to forget that the antarctic has an history of omegas in important and prestigious positions, even military ones. It's kind of obvious they would have some sort of tradition. 

The tailor opened the book and pointed to three drawings. "Lady Boleyn and Lord Lancaster both chose to wear extremely traditional clothing for the time while Lady Baldwin just straight up wore armor." 

"Ok..." Techno nodded. "So I need to decide in what direction I want to go to, correct? Do you have any suggestions?" 

They smiled and nodded. "I've already prepared a couple designs that I thought could fit you. We could either modify one or scrap them completely and start from the beginning." 

And ok, that's good. They will tell him what kind of dress looked good on him so it can look flattering. Or, you know, as flattering as possible.

The tailor turned around and pulled out a piece of parchment stuffed inside some book. They handed it to Techno before sitting back down. 

Yeah, just like expected almost all of them were different kids of suits. They all are... sort of ok, it's clear that the designer is extremely talented but they just all look... eh. None of them really caught his attention. 

There was a barely scribbled dress on the bottom of the page, which looked more like an afterthought than anything. And that one ... that one looked nice. It was made entirely out of blue fabric and it had got a gigantic skirt and off-the-shoulder puffy see-through sleeves.

It's... The rest just looked like average stuff he could wear everyday, they don't really scream 'I'm getting married' or anything. Which apparently he kind of wants.

Does he even want to look like a traditional bride? Is it just his brain being weird about what's expected of him? It doesn't feel like it but Techno has mistaken the two before.

The tailor sat up and leant forward a bit. "You like that one?" They pointed towards the dress. 

Techno flushed and set the parchment down a little too aggressively. "I mean... It would look very cool and I really love the design... but I don't think I could pull that off." It looked way too dainty, way too... way too omega for him.

Techno has has always kinda looked like an alpha and the amount of time he has spent training hadn't helped at all. He... It's not that big a deal, he doesn't particularly mind.

"Sweetie, I designed this with you in mind. If you don't look at least decent in it I've done a bad job." The tailor smirked. "I think you have a classic case of 'I was complimented in this once so I'll never wear anything else again' syndrome."

No... He would never do something like that. It's not like he has worn the same exact cut in different kinds of fabric and repeated ad nauseam for the last 14 years. "That's... a bit of a mouthful." 

"It kind of is." They giggled a bit. "In all seriousness, if you want something that's a bit more in your comfort zone that's fine. But if you do want something traditional I can make it happen no problem."

And the bitch of it is Techno really wanted that dress, it looked... bridal... in a way all the others really didn't. And he just discovered that he kinda enjoys that.  "I dunno, have never looked good in dresses. I kind of have to go for a suit."

Yeah, that feels a bit safer. It's in his confort zone, something that's now very normal for him. 

"Have you ever actually worn a tailor made dress? Like one that's made specifically for your body type by someone who knows what they're doing." The tailor insisted. "Because it seems like you're focusing too much on that and too little on what would actually be comfortable."

"No, not really." He used to be a fucking slave, of course he didn't get custom made dresses, not that the tailor needed to know any of this. "I'd try it but... I'm a bit worried that I won't like it and will be forced to wear it anyway."

"I mean, I could make you both the dress and a suit in your usual style. At most you can wear it at the coronation or some other event, it's not like there won't be occasions." They propped their head on the desk and grinned. "Besides, the emperor's paying. Money's not gonna spend itself and he can spoil you a little."

Well, Phil's already kind of spoiling him, emotionally at least. He's just so darn nice and understanding, ready to help with anything and easy to trust. Man, he could gush about it like a maid on her wedding night for hours on end.

But they don't need to know that, it's just a joke. "Yeah, I don't think he'll mind. Though I'd rather ask him, you know, for the sake of politeness." 

He greeted the tailor and left. Even then he must have seemed completely distracted the rest of his day at work, mostly because he felt like he'd made a mistake and was making Phil waste money on a dress that would look bad on him. 

It's... What if it's just his body that makes dresses look bad? Maybe it was as easy as that, maybe tailoring it didn't change all that much. 

But... That dress is really cool. It's amazing and it's not like Phil's tight on cash and Techno knows full well that his husband would definitely encourage him to step out of his confort zone and do stuff he didn't think was made for him. 

It's not like Phil buys him gifts constantly and Techno reciprocates often enough. He hasn't sunk thousands and thousands into this marr-

Nicky shook her hand to get his attention. "Hey Tech, you alright? You've been a bit out today, sure you're not sick?"

"No, I'm fine. Just wedding preparations being..." He vaguely waved his hands around his face. "I already have to start choosing my wedding dress now while it's almost 3 months away."

"How is that going by the way? Stressful?" Niki prompted. If only she knew that this had been plaguing his mind for ages, if only. 

"Weird, I'm undecided between going traditional or just wearing a suit. They tailor said they can make both to be sure but Phil's paying so I have to ask him." Techno tried. It could be helpful, she definitely wore much more feminine clothing and she may be more unbiased that the tailor who is literally selling a product. 

"Yeah, it's a tough choice." Niki smiled and gestured towards her left. "On the one hand, wedding fashion is amazingly complex and some of the best looking things in the world." She gestured towards her right. "On the other hand, if you use your uniform you can wear your medals while getting married." 

"I'm mostly worried that the dress won't look good on me, you know. Haven't worn one in ages." He left out the part that his body was staunchly criticized constantly when he was wearing it, you know, because it was a bit pathetic to care about his abusers' opinions this much.

Because that's what it was, they're the reason he's even self-conscious about these things. When he was a kid he had never really cared about it, unlike most other things omegas were expected to do. 

Techno just... Can't let it go... And it's stupid. 

"Oh, I'm sure you will. I can see you with a dress on, you could look pretty cool." She stayed quiet for a second, clearly lost in thought. "But I feel like it would be best to just buy both because there's a chance you might feel uncomfortable in it."

So yeah, it's now two different people telling him that's the best option and... Can he really discount both of them? Especially since that dress would look so freaking cool and Techno would be grateful to just... own it, maybe pull it out once in a while, stare at it... leave it to collect dust most days.

Ok, maybe it sounded stupid but... Whatever, Techno's an adult and he's free to do whatever he wants. 

He was now pretty sure that, even if Phil wasn't convinced in buying both of them, he would just do it with his own money. For some reason...

It's a nice dress, ok?

Since apparently they can only have important conversation right as they're about to fall asleep Techno brings it up when they're already in bed. Hey, it's a tradition at this point, what else should he do?

"So like... About the wedding dress, what do you think I should wear?" For some reason Techno still dreaded the answer, despite logically knowing Phil isn't that kind of person.

"Whatever you want." Phil barely looked up, his eyes obscured by his arm. "Granted that you're not going to get a indecent exposure charge in whatever you like." 

Techno leaned towards him. "What the hell kind of clothes you think I will wear?" Does he expect something sexy? Because either choices are quite far away from that style... And he wouldn't exactly feel comfortable in public.

Definitely not. That's something he will probably never even feel neutrally about, it's just how it will be forever.

"You? Something normal." He said, not clarifying anything at all when it came to style. "It's my ideal wedding clothes that apparently bend that specific law." He sat up and pointed both his fingers upwards. "And I swear it's not that bad, just a little bit too much chest shown but like... It's  fine... "

"Whatever you say Phil, whatever you say..." Techno giggled. "In all seriousness I'm just a bit undecided between a dress and a suit. The tailor keeps going on about how I should get both."

"Go for it dude, have fun." Phil said, his tone as casual as before. "I mean, if you want to. I don't mind, what's important is that I'm marrying the most amazing person there is." 

And oh, that's nice, that's a very nice thing to say. Techno had never expected someone to tell him that... But hey, if there's going to be a first, it's definitely gonna be Phil. "Don't you wanna see it first before you judge?"

"As in... Before the wedding?" Phil took his arm off his eyes and looked left towards him. "Because that's bad luck here mate, like very bad."

"Oh right... I kinda forgot." Techno was still very weirded out by the concept. It didn't feel logical that seeing a dress could cause significant trouble to the relationship but hey, it's not invasive or particularly weird. "Do you really believe that?"

"Egh, sort of. I'm not going to go crazy if we don't do it, I just don't see a particular reason why not." He looked towards Techno. "Unless you do..."

"Nah, it's fine. Just worried you won't like the dress..." Techno shamefully admitted. It was definitely not a logical fear, Phil didn't seem to care too much about this type of stuff.

"Dude, as long as you don't run off at the altar I don't care what you wear." He turned and smirked. "Plus, you'll definitely look good in everything."

Techno blushed and smiled. "Thanks..." It's not like it was unexpected, he kinda already knew this in the back of his mind but, you know, reassurance is always fun.

He slowly leant forward and kissed him on the lips, tangling his fingers into his fiancee's hair.

Phil's hand started to go down Techno's chest and pull at his belt. "You're welcome dear." And oh, they were doing this now. 

Which ok, he is definitely not opposed. Quite the opposite actually. 

The wedding is somehow an even grander affair than he expected.

The whole 2 days before are completely dedicated to last minute planning so that everything goes right. Which is understandable since there are so many royals and foreign dignitaries attending. 

Techno kind of wished he could have a much smaller day with some thirty people invited and call it a day. 

But alas, he's getting married to an emperor and he has to make due with what is given. Which is a lot mind you.  

For some reason though, Techno was barely even stressed at all. He's just... completely calm and collected. 

Yeah, he loves Phil, he really does but it doesn't feel like the big game changer it's supposed to be. He knows, or perhaps better he hopes, that things won't change much, they already slept in the same room, already had sex and already had a very committed relationship. 

The only weird thing about preparing was just... having other people helping him dress, braiding his hair and all that. Which yeah, he did decide to go with traditional at the end, that dress looked way too fucking good to collect dust in a closet.

He got to his own wedding on time, which is apparently a miracle here in the antarctic. The maid that was carrying his trane said it was an auspicious sign, Techno just thinks it's good time management skills. 

Walking down the aisle has to be one of the longest and quietest 5 minutes of his life, Techno's pretty sure he can actually hear the heartbeat of every single person attending. 

Phil is already at the altar, wearing clothes that would definitely not be allowed if he were anyone but the emperor. For goodness's sake, it's tied just a little bit above his bellybutton. 

He's the most beautiful person Techno has ever seen, with light blue robes and weird crystal jewelry that looks like ice spikes in his hair. 

Techno could pin point very clearly the moment his husband notices him by how his wings flutter and how his eyes light up. 

And ok, now Techno can definitely feel his own heartbeat in his ears. This is... Wow, he'd never expected to be this happy getting married. 

Somehow, through some sort of devine intervention he really doesn't feel trapped. And it's amazing, the idea that commitment and consent can coexist.

A lot of omegas had told Techno that when they were walking down the aisle they had all these romantic thoughts about how perfect this all was and how sure they were their husband was the one.

Techno called bullshit on that as he was mostly thinking "Please don't trip, oh god, not right now, please, whatever god there is up there, I will do whatever you need if you don't make me trip."

Thankfully he made it, getting immediately rewarded by Phil hushed "Oh gosh, you look fantastic." as the priest set everything up. 

He was about to say something back when the music started playing, warning everyone the mass was going to start. The first half an hour or so is pretty standard and it almost lasts long enough that Techno could even forget why he was here.

Almost, they do get to the wedding shit eventually. And if Phil were to say that he had to wake him up a bit before that since he went into pilot mode he'd be lying, definitely. 

The priest stared at them and opened his arms. "Philza and Techno, have you come here to enter into marriage without coercion, freely and wholeheartedly?"

Techno had been surprised at first when he was told that this line was actually in the official, church sanctioned vows. He had never expected to answer 'I have' honestly to this question. 

The priest continued. "Will you honor each other for rest the of your lives?"

They must have said 'I will' at exactly the same time. And oh god, did Techno hope he could keep this promise for the rest of his life. 

Phil... He was sure Phil would uphold it, his fiance has proven how devoted and kind he is enough time. Techno really hoped the feeling was reciprocal. 

"Since it is your intention to enter into the covenant of matrimony, join your right hands, and declare your consent before Her Highness Lady Death and Her church." The priest pointed towards the statue behind him and then looked at Phil.

His fiance held Techno's hand and smiled. "I, Philza, take you, Technoblade, for my lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."

And God, Techno was blushing like a school girl for no reason at all. Shit, he already knows Phil would do this, he's sure of it. It just... It felt nice to actually be promised that explicitly. 

Phil's hand felt cold and they were clearly trembling lightly and still, Techno didn't want to be anywhere but here. 

The priest nodded at Techno, clearly telling him to 'declare his consent' or whatever it is called. For a second Techno was actually sure his vocal cords would spontaneously combust. 

The words still come out somehow.  

"I, Technoblade, take you, Philza, for my lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part." And thank the gods he didn't babble or shit like that. 

"Now Philza and Technoblade will exchange rings as a symbol of the promises they made, and of their ongoing commitment to each other." The priest smiled and gestured towards the servant working as the ring bearer.

Techno had been the one to choose what ring to get since Phil kept saying he had a better taste in jewelry. He'd settled for some golden rings with a emerald on top of it. Pretty small, not too big as to make them irreplaceable, still usable if he went to war.

Techno slowly went to get it, his hands already trembling as much as his fiance's. "I offer you this ring as a reminder of my eternal faith and unwavering dedication to you. I will cherish you forever more."

He slowly slid the ring up Phil's finger, genuinely sweating bullets. Phil was still grinning ear to ear, staring at him like he was the best thing in the world. 

Phil picked up the ring and somehow smiled even harder. "I give you this ring as a sign of my love. I am honored to call you my husband from this moment until forever."

He casually slid the ring on Techno's fingers, as if he hadn't even given Techno the most amazing thing he could. 

The priest nodded. "I pronunce you partners for life. You may seal your promise with a kiss." 

It still felt unreal to hear this words, to be told he'd actually done it, actually ended up married to an alpha after everything that happened. 

When he was young, Techno had promised himself to never marry or become an alpha's mate voluntarily. He'd noticed how all the smart, talented and skilled omegas in his bastion ended up after they found a partner.

And now here he was, married to the most amazing man in the world. Somehow he wasn't going to be one of them, he would get to both be married and maintain his independence.

Maybe it was a bit of wishful thinking but Techno was pretty sure that if his younger self saw him today he wouldn't be too disappointed.

Not much really changed after getting married. You know, except having to participate to a bit more events than usual.

And it was awesome. Absolutely awesome.

Phil was still a crazy awesome person and they still had a crazy good relationship. It was lovely, it was amazing, it was everything Techno could have ever wanted. 

They were both still each other, two individuals who had chosen to spend life together. He didn't feel less independent, less loved or anything else.

Man, this really felt like his happy ending, what could go wrong?

The first time they bring up children in a serious we're-actually-gonna-do-it tone is, again, only thanks to Phil. 

"So like... Heats, do you think they will bother you?" He said as he was brushing Techno's hair one night. "Cause... you know... Sex triggers you a lot and that's kinda the main points of heats." 

And yeah... That's not something that he's thought about... Like ever. 

To be honest, heats didn't really change that much about his thinking or the way he lived. Maybe apart from the fact that he was a bit sadder and felt a bit more lonely. 

"I don't... I don't think so." Techno tried, the words obviously getting stuck in his throat. "I might get a bit too emotional but my heats are quite light... Or, they were, haven't had an heat since I was 16."

"What do you mean by 'light'?" Phil said as he started to split Techno's hair into three strands to braid them.

"Umm, they were a bit irregular and i could function without much issues." Phil's fingers were still delicately working on the braid and the slight pressure on his scalp was almost putting Techno to sleep. "By function I mean I still ate food independently, still took care of myself and my room and still could think logically."

There was silence for a few seconds and Techno could tell by the hesitating way Phil was moving his fingers that he considering asking a question. 

"Did you..." Phil stopped talking again, starting back up a few seconds after, this time with an housed voice. "You don't have to answer, obviously but... When you were in heat... Did you wish your master would help you with it even if you logically didn't like him?" 

I mean, it was probably a fair question. Some omegas did do that, even some that had tried to escape and weren't exactly subtle about their dislike of their master.

Techno had always found that scary, people genuinely begging to be hurt and raped. It was weird and he'd always considered himself lucky that he'd never done that.

And, you know, it's good to explain Phil this kind of stuff so that he doesn't accidentally do something bad and makes Techno uncomfortable. Knowing he has a partner that understands what he went through makes it a lot easier to trust him as well.

"Honestly, I hated him even more. I wanted to keep him a whole dimension away from me. It... It made me feel like a bag of trash because..." Techno sighed, letting himself lean on the man so that his back was against Phil's chest.

"I... God, I just... When I was in heat I didn't really care about the sex, I just wanted somebody that would take care of me and treat me like I worth something and..." He almost choked on sobs for a second. "It's not something you get if you're in my position. It was just a bit pathetic." 

"That sounds like a nightmare, sorry I asked." Phil wrapped his arms around Techno's body. "I just thought... If you had offered it could have undermined your consideration of consent during heats and make you spiral a bit. Like 'Do I really want this or is it just the heat' kind of thing."

And...  Haven't they already established this? Techno has already promised to always be transparent about consent. "I don't... I've already promised to tell you if I'm uncomfortable, haven't I?"

"Yeah but, you know..." Phil looked up and started caressing the left side of Techno's chest. "You're not always thinking clearly though it, sometimes shit just comes up for no reason, you know?"

Techno did very much not know. Most of the times he remembers it was just him, it's not like he got super desperate or anything. "I mean... It has never happened to me."

Phil nodded and slowly started to lean down to kiss him on the cheek. It seemed like he considered the conversation finished.

And, it really wasn't. Not at all.

Because it was two months after the wedding and there has yet to even be a mention about heat blockers. 

Techno really doesn't know how those should be handled when getting married. Should he just... stop taking them? Without any input? 

And if there's something Techno has learnt is the fact that it's always better to ask, especially with something as big as this. Communication makes things a lot easier if you have a partner that cares about your input.

"So like... When you stop taking heat blockers it usually takes around three or so months before you cycle actually starts up again, doesn't it?"

Phil nuzzled against his neck and started to pull him down towards the bed. "Yup, that's the average. Why?" He yawned. 

Phil just gave him an opening, he's willing to talking about it. And they definitely should, this is a very important decision that effects both of them.

Techno definitely doesn't want Phil to end up with a child that he didn't want, he knows how traumatizing that could be. There's no room for misunderstandings with this. 

But God, is he excited about kids. It sounds so nice to help another helpless human being grow up and develop.

Especially since they are in an environment were they would be allowed to do a lot more than what Techno had one been. It's going to be interesting to see how kids that grow up in an environment this open-minded would end up like.

Techno decided to act like this was no big deal, simply because he wasn't sure what tone of voice to use. "So like... When are we going to start trying?" 

Phil glaced at him. "You want to have a kid right after we get married?" 

Oh, that makes so much more sense, Phil wanted to wait a bit before having kids. That's why going off heat blockers was never mentioned. Yup, much more logical than Phil just expecting him to fo it independently. 

"I mean, if you're not ok with it I can wait. I don't mind a few more years." As long as they start trying in 4 years at most he should still be in the clear. Not any later though as he would be older than 35 and he'd much rather try and avoid some complications that may come with birth. 

"As long as you're sure I would love to have one soon." Phil smiled up at him. "I don't mind if you're not ready though, I'm just glad I get to be your husband at all."

Shit, this man... this man is gonna be the death of him. He's just so nice and understanding and overall practically perfect in every way. How could Techno not love him unconditionally?

Techno hugged him hard. "I love you so much." It's just... so nice to be taken care of and appreciated. 

A happily ever after, that's such a sweet thought. A great husband, two kids and a place where he's  treated with respect regardless of his gender. It's so much more than his teenage self had hoped for, the handful of times he'd let himself hope. 

Phil caressed his back. "Hopefully they take after you, I was a rascal when I was younger." He giggled and kissed him on the cheek.

"I mean, if you asked most people back in the nether I was some demon child." Techno sighed. "I wasn't but... I didn't act like an omega or something."

Yeah, that was something that had annoyed the adults in his life quite a lot. They fucking hated him and he got punished and reprimanded frequently, was often told about how counter natural he was acting.

And for some reason that never really discouraged him. He still dared to reach the sun, even after the thousandth argument, even after having gotten beat up and worse.

He's glad his kids will barely encounter stuff like this. 

Phil raised his shoulders. "Yeah but it's not bad if our kids do that. I would mind if they threw themselves out a window and fly 30 kilometers away just because another kid annoyed them."

Techno visibly gulped. "Ok, no, you're right. I don't want them to take after you."

So... Techno's been off of heat blockers for a while now. 4 months to be specific, which is a lot all things considered. 

And yeah, he should have started having regular heats at least a month ago. Something that clearly has yet to happen.

He told Phil about his worries almost immediately after they formed.

"What if I used heat blockers for way too long and won't be able to have a cycle again?" He said while pacing back and forth across the room. "Should I even be worried about that? I don't think it's possible. It isn't, right?"

"It isn't, not as far as I heard at least." Phil sighed hard. "Listen, I understand your worry but I don't think this is that big a deal, you probably just need a little bit longer than most people."

Techno would love to feel reassured by it but his mind was going 1000 miles an hour trying to think of every possible nightmare scenario that could feasibly happen. 

"But what if it's a lifestyle thing?" Techno immediately countered. "Heat cycles often stop when you don't have enough to eat, maybe my diet has been all fucked up and I haven't noticed up untill this point." 

 "Nah, I've seen you eat and your diet seems normal." Phil shrugged. "Though if you're that worried about it you could just go see a doctor, it's not like that can hurt you." 

Right, yeah, Techno had kind of forgot this was an option. "Ok... You don't have to come, right?" He really doesn't want Phil in the room as he's talking about this kind of things.

It's not really a privacy thing, he just doesn't feel like seeing Phil's pained expression more times than necessary. 

"Only if you want to." Phil smiled, reassuring as always. "I understand if you don't, you don't have to explain. Plus, this is just so you can feel calm, everything's going to be fine."

Techno nodded, wishing he could have that amount of certainty.

The office Techno ended up with seemed pretty standard, clean and covered wall to wall in different graphics of the human body. 

Despite how hard it is to look into the doctor's eyes he still found himself shaking the woman's hand. "Nice to meet you."

"Welcome." She smiled and shook his hand a lot harder than he expected. "So, why are we here for? Do you have any concern or do you just want information?"

"I do have... concerns." He shuffled uncomfortably in the chair, any worry suddenly feeling stupid in his brain. "It's probably nothing though, I really just came in for reassurance."

The woman nodded and hummed. "No worries about that, better safe than sorry. What's worrying you?"

"So um, as you probably know I got married recently and... you know..." Techno has to remind himself that the doctor in front of him has sworn an oath of secrecy before letting out the rest.

"We were starting to try and have a child. I stopped taking heat blockers four months ago and nothing happened so..." He immediately looked down at the desk, feeling awfully exposed. "You know, wanted to make sure it wasn't a bad sign or anything."

"Well, not inherently. It might just be your particular cycle being a bit different or a sign of some condition." She must have noticed Techno's worried expression as she immediately added "Most likely the first."

A 'most likely' didn't feel good enough. There was probably something wrong with him, there had to be. "How do I distinguish between the two?" 

"As long as you had a more or less healthy cycle before you started taking heat blockers there isn't a huge sign for concern." The doctor smiled and pulled out some parchment. "If you'd prefer we can go over what could be concerning."

"Yeah, that... That seems like the smartest idea." To be honest, Techno wouldn't really peg his cycle as healthy and normal. Shit, a lot of people back home told him he acted weird during them. Maybe they had a point.

"So, when did it start?" 

"At around 13..." It had been the first time it had happened and he remembers it like it was yesterday. It's not something he likes to think about, nevermind telling a complete stranger. 

The doctor smiled. "Ok, that's pretty average." Techno felt unreasonably proud of this for some reason. It's... He felt like he was being judged in some way, which was very irrational since this woman was explicitly here to his discretion.  "And how long did it take before it got regular?"

"It... It never was particularly regular." Techno looked down and gripped at his pants. "Could stress affect that? I wasn't exactly in ideal conditions." Techno felt like he was trying to find an excuse. 

Which was stupid, it's not like he can control any of this. Probably, there may be one. 

"Possibly... Not to the point of completely irregularity but it may cause you to delay or skip an heat." The woman looked reassuringly. "Could you please elaborate on said conditions?  They might affect other parts of the test. Don't need much, just the general idea."

"I'm..." Techno still was never sure how to tell people this. "I was repeatedly sexually assaulted during the whole period I still got heats. I started taking heat blockers immediately after I was able to escape."

"Oh, that sounds terrible, thank you for trusting me with this information. If it was the stress then now that you in a safe environment, or at least I hope you are, they should start being more or less regular." 

"Yes, I am safe." Techno was sure about that, had never been as sure of something his entire life. 

"Good. Now, did you ever bleed during heats? Excluding possible vaginal tearing, which is whole different level of unhealthy." 

"Yeah, not particularly often and it wasn't barely enough to stain but... Yeah." It's not like... Techno had known it wasn't normal but you know... It's not like he could go ask people about it because he would definitely get called a freak so he just ignored it.

"Abnormally low libido during heats?"

"Definitely, even considering people in the same circumstances as me." It's still hard to view this as concerning thing. It had definitely saved him from a lot of sketchy situations since his master really did like to corner extremely desperate individuals with terrible shit. 

"Oh, ok. Was there an abnormally low amount of natural lubrication during normal sex? Try and mostly think about any possible consensual encounters where you felt mentally aroused as they would be a better basis."

It's great when a doctor starts listing off things that might be concerning and you have literally all of them. Really helps to fell calmer. "Yeah, I did have that problem."

"So, it is quite likely you will have fertility problems. Now, even if you do have it, it doesn't mean it will be impossible for you to have kids, just harder. It's usually advised to try naturally for at least a year before actually being sure. If your heat doesn't start in the next 2 months come back to me and I will give you something that should stimulate it to start."

"Ok, thank you. Goodbye." He must have looked somewhat calm, considering the woman just smiled and waved. In reality he felt anything but.

Techno just... walked out the office and went to the training arena, just out of sheer muscle memory. He sat down on the edge and stared at nothing in particular. 

Thing is, Techno's already been in a situation where he could have had kids and didn't. For 3 or so years actually.

And his mater definitely was not infertile, he must have had at least 30 kids legitimate or not. By the age he escaped most people had at least one kid to take care of. 

Shit, he really was the one that didn't get pregnant at least once because of his master. How was he this dumb not to notice it? 

He was definitely infertile. It was so obvious and Techno hadn't even batted an eye at it, had always took it a great miracle and hadn't even considered the very real possibility that he just... couldn't have kids.

With anyone...

Even Phil...

Shit, Phil. He wanted children. Techno had fucking promised him they were going to have kids. 

And now they are married and he's going to forever be trapped in an unfulfilling marriage without the children he had dreamed about. All because Techno was too stupid to notice what was right in front of him. 

How could Techno have done this? He was a despicable person that deserved to be alone. He didn't deserve all the joy the marriage gave him, he'd made a terrible thing and he should get punishment.  

This... this is all so fucking dumb. How was he supposed to tell Phil now? He should have come, at least now he would know how terrible a person his husband is. At least he would know how much of a lier Techno was.

Shit, why did he have to know about it just now? Why did he only find out after he'd gotten excited about having kids? His younger self would have wept tears of joy because of it. 

No, he had to discover now. After he'd started to imagine how his kids could look like and what name to give them. Which, in hindsight, he shouldn't have gotten this excited about something that didn't even exist. 

Shit, he should stop sulking and tell Phil right now.

He got up and started to slowly move towards the castle. 

"Hey, you're back, everything alright?" Phil greeted him smiling radiantly, which made Techno actually feel pain in his chest. Shit, what had he done? How could he have hurt such an amazing man?

"I... No." He paused, looking down so that he didn't have to see the pained expression on Phil's face. "The woman said I'm very likely to be infertile, which makes sense considering I never had kids during my period as a slave. I'm so sorry."

Phil frowned. "Why are you apologizing?" And oh god, Techno could write multiple essays to explain why. How did Phil not see anything wrong with it?

"I... Fuck, it was so obvious. It was so obvious Phil... " He could feel a tear travel down his cheek as he shouted. "What? Did I seriously think that I would marry you and everything would be fine? It... I should have told you, now you're stuck with me and you'll never have the kids you wanted..."

"You couldn't have... known about it. Like for sure." Phil slowly went to smudge the tear and looked up, a serious expression on his face. "And I'm not stuck with you, never have been and never will be. I love you and... I know this isn't what we planned but... we can still make it work."

Techno hugged him hard and shoved his face against Phil's chest. "You shouldn't have to give up on kids because of me." He didn't deserve any of this, not the way Phil was slowly caressing his back, not the way Phil was breathing all calm despite smelling distressed as hell, not the way Phil's words felt like gold bring poured over his filthy body. "That's... That's not fair to you." 

Phil pulled away from the hug and looked at him in the eyes. "Dude... I don't want anyone else's kids. I chose you because I love you, you're not that easily replaceable."

"But... But... I think you should. I think you should divorce me and have the kids you've always wanted." Techno would survive somehow. It's not... Phil will be a great father. 

And if he isn't the other parent so what? Phil deserves to be happy and if the way to do it was rip out his heart Techno would. The alternative is Phil staying with him and resenting him which is far worse. 

"Techno, I'm serious. I will stay, I still want to spend forever with you." Phil pleaded, looking into Techno's eyes like they were challenging him. They felt way too honest while saying something so far fetched. 

"Listen... I've been loving this whole marriage thing and... I was excited to have kids too, God was i excited. But... You know... It happens and I don't want you to be unhappy forever." Techno kept sniffing as he was talking and he was on the verge of full on crying. 

Shit, Techno had just started to feel normal after a life of being told how unnatural he was. He'd just started to imagine living a pretty average life and his dream was ripped away from him before he could even blink.

"I'm not gonna be unhappy forever, not with you by my side." Phil, bless him, was still trying to smile reassuringly. "We've made a promise, didn't we? For better, for worse, in sickness and in health, until death do us part And I'm planning on keeping it, I really am."

And yeah, that's true actually, they'd both said it.

Techno would never get a divorce if his husband found out he couldn't have kids. It probably wouldn't even cross his mind for a second. So why wouldn't Phil feel the same?

"I meant it too, I really did. I don't..." Techno chuckled darkly. "Shit, I don't know why I reacted like this, it wasn't logical. Now it seems like I think our marriage is just transactional."

"Why do I feel like that how you were 'supposed' to react back in the nether?" Phil stared up at him. "You know, just a hunch."

Techno looked down. "Possibly" 

Yeah, that's... exactly what it was. Infertile omegas were supposed to demand their husband to either divorce them or find a slave to have children for them. Which granted, the second is a bit more fucked up. 

Wooooooooo, he chose the slightly better option.

"This is a load of crap..." He tried, hoping to forget shit like that even existed. It's something he'd started to wish more and more as the years went on. 

"You know, I had always thought having kids with someone was a dangerous amount of commitment. And then we talked about it and you made it sound like so much fun." Techno sighed long and hard. "Of course I had find out after I actually got excited..."

"Yeah, it's... Life's a bitch sometimes." Phil looked down and sighed. It was then that he actually allowed sadness to show in his features. "But I'm glad you felt... I'm glad I made you feel safe enough to try it still."

"I mean, it's still possible that I get pregnant. The woman said it's not a 100% chance and I can still try..." He wasn't sure if he wanted to thought. This didn't feel like the perfect time anymore, not after this big news he has to digest. 

"Yeah, we can still... Try... You know..." Phil hesitantly nodded, his arms tightly pressed against his chest in discomfort.

"I don't..." His husband clearly had the same opinion as him, it's all fine and dandy. "Maybe we should wait a bit more, just to get our feelings in order about this."

Phil immediately nodded. "Yeah, that'd be better. Definitely better..."

Chapter Text

If you were to ask Techno how how he was dealing with the news of infertility he would tell you he's fine, that after sleeping on it he was able to think a bit more clearly and make light of the situation. 

If Techno were to be honest though, he'd tell you all about the countless night he spent barely sleeping and contemplating if he made the right decision by staying. He'd tell you how he started crying quietly again so that he didn't wake up his husband every time. 

He'd tell you how hard it is to not let his gaze linger on all the blonde haired children in the square for longer than necessary. How hard it is to stop himself from thinking 'why can't I get to have  that.' everytime he saw a rowdy toddler walking with his parents. 

It's weird, it's weird to grieve for a child that has never existed and might never exist. But it's probably ok and he just needs a little time to get back on his feet after the news. 

There's a reason they're waiting a bit to try again, despite the doctor saying this is probably the time where he's most likely to actually get pregnant. 

He wants his kid to grow up in an healthy environment. He wants to be better than his parents and this, waiting untill they're both done grieving to have one, is one big part of being responsible. 

When Techno noticed that Phil had been late to come sleep one night, he didn't think that much of it. It has happened before and it will happen again, mostly because there is always a possibility for something to go wrong when you rule an empire as big as his. 

So when Phil opened the door clutching a screaming baby he was weirded out to say the least. 

"I can... I can explain." His husband said. While he was still holding somebody's baby. Somebody's extremely loud baby. Somebody's extremely loud and malnourished baby. For some reason. 

Techno peered at the way too small and extremely distressed avian that was clearly trying to get Phil to just drop him. "Eeeeeeh?"

"I know..." Phil shouted, trying to cover the baby's dreadful screaming. "Just... Some of my generals had been investigating this fighting rink and when they raided it, it was all empty except for this kid, stuffed under a bed with no parents or anything."

Oh shit, the kid would have been a war slave. You know, just like Techno and his family. 

Suddenly his screaming didn't sound so dreadful after all. 

Shit, poor baby already got separated from his parents, that's... that's bad, very very bad. When that happens it's almost guaranteed you'll never see your family again. 

"I know this isn't the best time but..." Phil's wings unconsciously opened a bit. "You don't see many avians around. I didn't... I couldn't trust anyone else with him and-"

And yeah... It really wasn't the best time and maybe Techno should feel betrayed in some way. It should feel like Phil hadn't meant it when he said he could live without kids. 

But it just didn't... He's had a lot of irrational thoughts and still, Techno could see that Phil wasn't doing it maliciously.

"I get it, don't worry about it." It's not like Techno wasn't feeling some sort of protective feelings for the kid. You know, mixed with some weird feeling of hurt that he can't really explain rationally. 

His brain's working 100 miles an hour trying to figure out what the hell he's supposed to feel, which is probably a futile task right now.

"What's his name?" He'd felt compelled to ask by no one in particular, it just... It felt like the correct thing to do. 

Phil sighed. "We couldn't find anything, the records had been destroyed for... you know... oblivious reason and it felt kinda wrong to rename him considering his parents aren't here."

And that was... That felt like the biggest violence of it all. Because someone had deliberately destroyed people's names and left them for their own selfish game. 

Wasn't it just so emblematic of how slave masters treat the people they own?

The child let out a particularly loud scream and Phil started to shush him to hopefully calm him down. "Sorry, I don't get why he's shouting, we tried feeding him and checking if he's dirty but he seems fine."

Techno slowly held out his hands, alarm bells ringing in his ears. "Hand him over." 

Phil had to be careful since as soon as he loosed his hold just a bit the kid actually tried to crawl away from him. His husband still somehow succeeded. 

And, just like Techno suspected, the kid calmed down so fast it was like a flip got switched. He went from full on shouting to prescious little angel in so little time Techno could barely believe it was the same kid. 

Phil stared dumbfounded and laughed. "Holy shit, are you magic? I swear, I've tried it all." He sounded genuinely surprised and Techno hated to be the person to pop that bubble. 

"It's cause you smell like an alpha. A lot of... You know... Kids like him do that, especially if they don't have a father." Techno readjusted slightly so that the kid was being held correctly. "You know, they associate alpha with the people that run the place, which usually mean danger."

"Oh... That's..." Phil stared sadly at the kid that was slowly trying to lean against Techno's chest. It was like his husband had just been speared in the chest.  "That's... Yeah..."

Techno understood, he really did. It must suck to know that the kid you're trying to help is fucking terrified of you and thinks you're about to hurt him.

Especially since, frankly speaking, Phil really doesn't deserve this judgement. But, you know, it's not like he can rationally explain it to a traumatized toddler so... Ugh...

He sighed and looked down at the poor avian baby. "I know it's shit to be compared to them but... It's just what happens in those kinds of environments, it becomes almost innate to act like this."

Phil didn't react much to the frase.

"Are you sure you're fine with this? Cause I know how hard the news hit you." Phil sat down on the bed and patted Techno's legs. "I can just get a maid to take care of him, you don't need to interact with him that much. I'm just keeping him till we find the parents."

Techno looked down at this kid, this kid that looks nothing like either of them, this kid that was born into the same conditions as him and just... doesn't know how to feel. 

He's pretty sure that, had this happened before he found out he was infertile, he would have felt nothing but earnest compassion and maybe a bit of pride for this child who, unlike him, was saved from the terrible conditions he was born in.

He still feels that... He really does... It just hurts because Phil clearly wants to be a parent, otherwise he wouldn't have saved such a young child and taken him to his home. 

And it's still hard to convince himself that Phil doesn't want to leave. It's irrational but this, this weight in his arms, feels like sign that Phil is changing his mind. 

"It's mostly fine..." No matter what he thinks this kid may represent to his marriage, Techno really doesn't want him to end up in a bad situation for extremely selfish reasons. "We can take care of him for as long as it's needed."

The baby sneezed against Techno's shirt, his eyes barely holding open because of tiredness. His little head tilted forward a tiny bit and Techno yelped, scared he was about to drop him for a second. 

Phil smiled and started to look at the kid with so much affection and longing. "Awww, look at this little sleepy boy, so so tired aren't you mate?" He cooed, making stupid kissy noises at the kid. 

Techno probably would have found it weird four or five years ago. This is not something any parent in the Nether would do, they tend to be extremely distant, serious and strict, even to actual newborns and toddlers.

Techno remembers like it was yesterday this one time that a family member of his that had just given birth had slapped the newborn on the head multiple times because he'd bitten her while he was feeding. 

He remembers hearing the baby's pained screaming and looking around the room expecting at least one person to look as horrified as him. Nobody was.

It's not like he didn't expect it... Come on, Phil would never do that, he's way too nice to even consider it. Also it's illegal here as far as he's aware so... 

"Little is the correct word. Did they even feed him at all?" The scariest thing was that it was actually possible. Slaves aren't usually fed very well and because of it very few omegas are actually able to lactate enough. "I think he might be premature." 

"He looks normal, doesn't he? Probably three months old or something like that." Phil said deadpan. As if this child wasn't the smallest human he'd even seen. 

Techno just rolled his eyes. "Yeah, three months in the fucking womb. Don't shit on me." Because that's literally how small the kid looked like. "He doesn't even talk nor walk, that makes no sense."

"Why would a three month old speak? Or walk for that matter? What kind of babies have you interacted with?" Phil's wings spread and puffed up in annoyance.

"Piglin babies walk by two months and speak by three. Isn't it the same for humans?" 

Phil shook his head harshly. "No, it'll take ten months before he speaks. Maybe more. How did you not notice this? You've lived here for more than enough." 

"Listen, I don't go around asking for the ages of random babies. I just met them and assumed an age which was probably always wrong in hindsight." Techno shifted awkwardly back and forth. 

Phil looked up and down at his husband and shook his head. "Didn't it seem weird that there were so many 'premature' babies here?" He signed air quotes at the premature which wow, rude.

"Dude, I just thought it was because kids die less in the Overworld." Techno giggled and leaned towards Phil. "How could I have known you guys were this-"

He was interrupted by the baby's loud cry. Which seemed to completely come out of the blue as he was fine a second ago. 

Was it because he got too close to Phil? He shifted backwards a bit hoping that was it and was rewarded by even louder shouting. So clearly it was something else. 

Phil smiled sympathetically at Techno, who felt so clueless it was painful. "I think he's hungry. We last fed him a couple hours ago." 

"Well then..." Techno leaned to give Phil the baby and shook his hands towards the door. "Go, take the kid YOU'RE taking care of to whoever has to feed him." He patted Phil's leg and went to lay back down. 

Phil rolled his eyes. "Oh, I see. 'WE can take care of him' but when it gets to actually doing shit it's MY kid." He started poking at Techno's belly. 

In reality Techno just didn't feel like spending half an hour getting into royal regalia just to escort a baby to his wet nurse or whatever. The kid would definitely be grateful to avoid waiting that long.

"You betcha dude." Techno propped his head over his arms and smiled, pretending he wasn't in the same room as a screaming and crying baby. "I'm living the life." 

Phil laughed. "Whatever mate... Love yah, goodnight." 

Techno liked the fact that despite all the time that passed Phil never seemed to stop loving him. "Love you too, Angel." 

Something that really creeped Techno out was how easily he was able to adjust to his role as a caretaker. 

Because that simply wasn't supposed to happen.

Like, they do basically train omegas for marriage and childrearing since 5 years old, more or less the age kids start presenting. 

But Techno wasn't involved in those types after around the age of 11 since everybody assumed no alpha worth something would want him as a mate. 

And shit, he still knew more or less what he should do and what the kid needs. He was even told by the maid that Phil had hired specifically to take care of the kid that he was 'surprisingly well prepared about this.' That's like... A sort of professional opinion, right?

It's not like he was following word for word all the  'techniques' they said we're best, Techno would rather die than spank a defenseless being. 

But... It really did make his childhood even sadder.

That level of training, or better to say indoctrination, had been so clearly unnecessary. He'd been forced into basically becoming another parent when he was barely even strong enough to carry a toddler and... It was all for nothing, just... absolutely nothing. 

God, he can't stop thinking about all the relatively fun times he could have had. Like... You know... Shit, he's not even sure what kids actually do with their time. 

But can he really do anything about it? Not really, he's a full grown married adult now. 

The only thing Techno can really do is making sure that this kid that's now in his care does get a good enough childhood. 

Yeah, that's what he'll do. 

He hopes that by the time his parents are found, the kid is in a good enough place to actually live and thrive. 

Something that Techno thinks his husband wasn't wholely prepared for was the fact that the kid was born in slave trafficking. And God if it showed, God if it showed. 

Techno... Well, he didn't feel prepared at all but at least he kind of knew what could and was likely to happen. He doesn't fully know how to fix it but he can just go off on what he remembers wanting. 

Phil... On the other hand...

"I... Is it me or does the baby only ever cry? Like, I've never seen him laugh or anything." His husband had asked one night. "I'm starting to get concerned, toddles are supposed to do that. I'm sure they are. "

Techno closed his book and sighed softly, completely aware that Phil was going to react badly to this information. "It's a trauma thing I think. It probably happened because affection wasn't consistent enough for the kid to actually get used to, you know, have an actual bond with caretakers. "

"Do they... Do they usually grow out of it?" Phil asked pleadingly. Honestly, Techno got him on this one, there are few things as sad as a kid who doesn't cry anymore, a kid who forget that parents are even supposed to nurture you. 

He had been like that for a decent while. Actually now that he thinks about it, he doesn't remember a single situation in which he felt like his parents actually did care about him. In... 14 to 16 years where he was in more or less constant contact. 

Kind of sad really... 

"Eh..." Techno isn't sure how to balance 'reassuring his husband' and 'giving him realistic hopes' "Probably... I never really was close with my parents but the trauma kept going my whole childhood, which hopefully isn't going to be the case with him." 

Phil set the baby down and sighed, looking at him intensely. "Aren't you... Aren't you scared that we're gonna do something wrong? That his life is going to be the same or even worse than if I had not taken him?" 

And that... That sounded absurd on multiple levels. 

In those environments you're treated as an object, you get whipped, beaten and sometimes even worse, and Techno knows a lot a lot about that 'worse'. It's basically impossible to traumatize a child more than that. 

Or you know... It is possible but it's not something you do on accident with the best intentions. You don't just trip one day and whip young children, or anyone for that matter. 

Plus Phil is married to a person that has gone through it for even longer, has already dealt with a lot of these issue. And Techno's pretty sure he's done all he could. 

Techno held Phil's hands and started caressing on his fingers. "I'm sure you're going to be fine. You... You were one of the best things that happened in my life and I can't see how this will be different. 

Phil ever so slightly smiled. "Once again, you should have been the one proposing. Would have written such a better speech." 

Techno rolled his eyes. "You really gotta let this go, we've been married for 5 months now. It can't have been that bad."

Techno has been helping this baby for two months now and he's noticed just how bad he is at emotionally connecting to babies. 

Phil... Phil makes it look so easy. He just talks and smiles and laughs and he's so good at getting the kid to calm down and ease off, which is the only reason he's now the only alpha able to hold the baby without him crying like he was getting tortured. 

Techno always felt awkward staying alone in the same room as the kid. He's trying, god is he trying, but it's just something he isn't used to and he came out of a lot of interactions sure that he's doing something wrong.

"Alright, here are the cubes. Phil said you're supposed to stack them or whatever." Techno scanned the toys spread out in front of him not sure how this kid was supposed to have fun with it. 

The baby stared intensely at the toys and picked two up. "Good job ." Techno cheered, clapping his hand and smiling a bit more than necessary. "Now you just need to make a tower." 

The kid giggled lightly and started to bang the cubes against each other as hard as possible, honestly scaring the living hell out of Techno.

"No, not like that." Techno picked up two cubes as well. "You're supposed to do this..." He stacked the cubes on the bed right in front of him.

The kid clearly spent a few moments contemplating the action, his little hand stuck in the air and his toys still in hand. At a certain point he must have understood as he-

Oh no, he just threw one of the cubes against the tower and started laughing like a little gremlin. In fact, this thing was so funny to the the kid that he actually lost his balance and fell forwards still giggling.

"You little terrorist." Techno said as he helped the baby back upright. "Gonna blow up the capital when you're older? You better not, your father worked really hard on reconstructing most of it."

And just... He knows this isn't how he's supposed to interact with children this young. He's supposed to coo, smile and give him little compliments. 

And he's tried and... It just sound unnatural, foreign and really, is it that big a deal? It's not like the kid can understand it that well, as long as he doesn't start to babble about anarchy. 

"You're giving me an existential crisis kid, I hope you know that." Techno said, holding the baby as delicately as possible since he was still scared to break him.

He isn't sure what's the thing that makes this whole interaction feel so important. Maybe it's the way the kid is looking up at him, maybe it's just how small the baby still is, maybe it's the way the kid's wings are relaxed right over his fingers because the boy apparently isn't as scared anymore. 

But it's then that Techno realized that such a defenseless, young, hurt being now considers the omega as his caretaker. And a mix of fear and pride suddenly filled his soul. 

Shit, this is so much responsibility. It's just... He knows that his parents received more or less the same treatment of him and they still went on to beat and neglect and parentify their kids quite a lot. Is he... Is it likely he will do it too? 

It's... Techno really doesn't want to parent like them but what if it all just happens unknowingly? What if he just... I dunno... Slips one day and does something very wrong? 

"Gosh, I'm so lucky you're here, I'm so lucky you even trust me." He felt compelled to say to someone that can't know what he means. "I promise, I swear on my god-damned life, I promise I'll never do wrong by you, whatever happens, whatever you do, whatever you decide." 

He might be crying, thought nobody else is there to confirm. 

The baby looks up, as confused as can be. He holds his arms out towards Techno's face so that his tiny fingertips brush Techno's cheeks. 

"Thanks..." Techno said, feeling like the most important person on Earth. 

Here they are, in the same room. Both former slaves, both traumatized, both scared of alphas at some point, both alive, both escaped and both healing. 

And God, one of them is in charge of the other's wellbeing. One of them is supposed to be there for him, for the rest of his life.

Is it even possible he will do good? Is it even possible he will do better than his parents? 

Well, now he's promised to do it. He's sworn it on his life and he intends to keep that and he will, Techno will do anything for this one. 

So, next week is their one year wedding anniversary. 

Techno isn't sure how much he should really celebrate. There has been a lot of stuff that just... wasn't great or ideal about their marriage. 

Somehow it's still been so much greater than Techno in his younger years could have ever hoped for. Phil still always seems extremely happy to have chosen him and they were still close and in love and everything that's great about marriage. 

Techno... He didn't grow up around any marriage he would call healthy and it was a 'well known' fact that by the first year you were supposed to start hating each other and want nothing but divorce. 

Phil was definitely organizing something, it's something he knows for sure. Honestly, unless he gets it into his head that Phil is cheating on him, it's pretty easy to tell when his husband wants to do something nice for him. 

And gosh, Techno definitely expected his marriage to be this nice and healthy. It's just great to hope for a good thing and actually get it handed to you without that many problems. 

Yeah, it's the sweetest gift of all and Techno can't even begin to find a way to repay this. He searches desperately for any jewel, book or weapon that can actually communicate the level of devotion Techno feels for the man he promised his life to. 

And there's nothing. There's really nothing important enough to show that and even if there were Phil could probably buy it himself which doesn't feel right at all.  

There's one thing, one thing that Techno is sure would be the perfect gift, he just knows it. Problem is, it's a thing that only exists in the nether. 

You know, he could risk it and find a portal far... very far... on different corners of the Earth if possible. But no, Techno would honestly turn into a nervous mess and a trip back in the dimension would obviously trigger him. 

And it's annoying cause he can't think of anything else. It just keeps coming back and buzzing in his ears like a particularly petulant fly during the summer when you're about to fall asleep. 

So he ranted to Skeppy about it. He has never seemed like the type to be extremely careful about gifts or whatever but still... they're both married, he might be able to suggest something. 

"There's this thing in the nether, it's like a magical compass of sorts, points towards places or people." Techno stops himself from saying the name since even just speaking in his birth language gives him chills now.

"And..." He hates how there's an and, he hates that he can't just drop by and get one, it should be so simple. "I don't want to go back there to get it but it would be perfect to each get a compass you know... so we always know where either of us are."

Skeppy chuckled. "You're such an hopeless romantic." Which fair, Techno may seem like one. It's so nice to actually be allowed to love that sometimes he may go a little bit overboard, you know, just a smidge. 

"I can probably get Bad to make one for you, he's like... the nether equivalent of an enchanter, whatever it's called." Skeppy offered, smiling quite genuinely. 

"Oh, your husband's from the nether?" It was... It should have felt more obvious you know, the fact that other people leave the nether and a lot of omegas might settle here of all places. Techno had never really met any though. 

Skeppy nodded. "Yeah, in the northern warlord's territory if that means anything to you."  He waved his hands in front of his face. "Certainly doesn't to me."

"Yeah, I know where it is, it's a pretty big region." Also fairly progressive about omegas as far as he's heard. You know, for the nether, they still aren't awarded equality or anything. 

So, Bad is scary as hell, is the first thing Techno notices. 

As soon as he walked through the door and noticed the man was a demon, all of Techno's instincts started shouting at him to run away for no reason. 

Maybe it's because he grew up seeing demons as inherently more powerful than him, maybe it's simply because he's 8 foot 9, wearing big extravagant red robes, has canines that literally show through his lips, claws and goddamn lava clearly moving right under his skin, maybe it's both. Techno will never get to know. 

It could also be because his mater had been half demon and he would show his true form only when his pleasure slaves were about to get punished. 

Honestly, it's probably that. 

Skeppy has some balls to actually consider marrying him, nevermind actually sleeping with him. Techno could never, like really. 

"Oh hi dear, you must be Techno. Skeppy's told me about you." Bad gestured for Techno to sit down on the chair right in front of him. 

Techno full on gulps, he's pretty sure he's never been scared of a person this much since he was 14. "Hopefully only good things sir..." He chuckled nervously and sat down like he asked. 

"There's no need for you to call me sir, makes me feel old and all." Bad smiled and opened the book right in front of him. "Now, Skeppy said you want the compasses, right?"

"If it's not too much of an hustle..." This is so embarrassing, Why is he even scared? He can't find a rational or irrational reason to be this terrified, it's not like he has a lot of trauma with demons or something, nor has Bad spoken in piglin or something. 

"It's quite an easy spell actually, will take me less than twenty minutes to get it right." Bad reassured in his overly cheerful voice. "It would cost you like 30 gold coins but I'm sure you've got the money."

"Yeah, I do." It's quite a bit lower than he expected to spend but hey, Phil probably won't even ask so whatever. 

Bad hummed and started rummaging through his drawers. "I'll go do it now if that's not a problem for you. You can wait here, feel free to get a book from the bookcase over there if you get bored." He pulled out a couple compasses and turned towards a secondary door opposite to his desk. 

As soon as the door closed Techno exhaled and relaxed in his seat.

Honestly, as soon as he spoke Techno felt unmeasurably bad for his reaction, Bad seemed extremely polite and respectful, to the point where you asked yourself why he even married Skeppy. 

He was clearly not someone Techno should fear. But he couldn't help it, it was a basically a reflex at this point and he wasn't sure he could control it ever. 

Hopefully Bad doesn't notice his behavior or anything, otherwise he's gonna have to explain why, something he is definitely not looking forward to. 

"Hi." Bad said, completely out of the blue, scaring the shit out of him. 

Techno yelped and got up from the chair so fast it almost fell down behind him. "So sorry, got lost in thought." 

"No problem." Bad smiled and handed the compasses to him. "It took me even less time than usual. If they break, the enchantment stops working or you loose it feel free to come back. I'll fix them." 

"Thank you so much." He went to his pocket and pulled out the amount to pay. His hand extended towards Bad a bit slower than necessary. "Here you go." 

"Not a bother. Have a great day." Bad lead him to the door and waved as Techno walked away.

Honestly, as bad as he felt about it, walking away was such a relief, his fight or flight instincts could finally shut up about a nonexistent threat.

Honestly, if this is how he reacted to some random demon who was nothing but polite and friendly was this scary going to the nether would have definitely been a disaster. 

If you had told 14 year old Techno that one day he would have been happily married for one whole year and that his husband would organize a whole ass event to celebrate that he would have laughed in your face. Or punched you, depending on the mood he was in. 

Phil somehow could always outperform himself when it comes to this. Cause, you know, a candlelit dinner, two books in a basically extinct language and a romantic walk in the castle's private garden had genuinely been a fantasy when he was a scared and abused teenager. 

Plus a full day away from the kid, who was kind of an handful sometimes. 

They ended up sitting down on that fountain behind the spot where Techno almost rejected Phil, which felt kind of ironic to be honest.

You know, in hindsight, saying no to Phil's proposal could have been one of the worst mistakes in his life. God, is he glad that didn't happen. 

Techno slowly pulled out the small gold and red pouch he hid the compasses into, not sure if he should be embarrassed of the fact that Phil clearly spent 5 times the amount of money on it. But hey, they share finances, it's not like it changes anything. 

"Oh, let me see." Phil immediately reached for his gift, his eyes fluttering with excitement. Honestly, the obviously high expectations his husband clearly has makes Techno feel a bit uneasy.

"Ok..." Techno handed it to him. "But don't get your hopes up, it's a pretty small thing, much smaller than yours anyway."

"Nah, mate. You're good with gifts I'm sure it's fine." Phil immediately opened up the pouch and slowly pulled out the compass. 

He looked at it weirdly, hopefully just out of confusion. "It's... It's enchanted? I've never seen one of these, what do they do?"

Techno sat up. "Just look carefully at the needle." He started to take baby steps towards his left, slowly. He was now pretty sure this gift was a mistake but hey, what's done is done now. 

Phil looked up and down for a few seconds, seemingly still confused about whatever this artefact is. Techno took a big step on his right, hoping this would be more noticeable. 

"Oh it's... It's following you." Phil looked up, a lovestruck expression on his face and a slight blush on his cheeks. "Are you implying I'm clingy?"

"No, I..." He moved towards the fountain, sat down next to his husband and pulled out his own compass. "I just thought this would be a good sentimental gift, dunno why though." 

The last part was a big fat lie. 

Just... Giving someone you exact location with a delay of at most milliseconds is one of the scariest thing one person could do. You're giving them so much trust and opening up the possibility of great betrayals. 

But by god, Phil really had earned his place in Techno's heart and what could he do but reward him. Maybe he is a fool, maybe he'll be betrayed later but it feels impossible right now. 

And maybe it's ok to only focus on right now in certain circumstances. 

"I don't... I don't know what to say." Phila smiled and cupped his husband's cheek. "Wow, you really are incredible. I genuinely can't imagine my life without you..."

"And I can't imagine life without you." Techno sighed out. "I'm so grateful of how I'm doing right now and... You know, I'm not saying I would still be the same person but... You made me feel safe and it had an immeasurable effect on me." 

"I love you." Phil smiled and started to lean forward. 

Techno loosely wrapped his arms around his husband's neck. "And I love you more..." He leaned slightly backwards. 

"And I love you more than your more." Phil closed the distance between them. 

Luckily Techno isn't the one that ruins the kid's first words. He thankfully doesn't end up talking about blood or anarchy.

No, that honor goes to Philza himself, what a man.

Techno was the only person there but he could swear on his life that the little kid smiled and babbled out a little "Awwww, maite..." while holding his stuffed animal. 

And gosh, that was probably something Phil had said to the baby as he was holding him. How nice that the kid clearly saw it like the gesture of affection that it actually was and wanted to do it as well. 

Techno almost didn't mind this. Almost. 

It still felt a little bit weird, the fact that it wasn't just 'dada' or something similar. But hey, it's not like Techno minded, especially since the kid wasn't technically his and was under no obligation to see him as a father figure. 

"Really had to do me like that? Your first words were supposed to be 'Technoblade never dies'  you know?" Techno tickled the kid a little bit.

"Mate?" The kid's intonation made it sound like a question. What he was asking was and would remain unknown to his deathbed. 

"Sweetie, please... something for me. Just one word would be great, come on." He laughed, knowing full well this isn't a working method to get children speaking. 

Unlikely for him, Techno's feeling a bit petty and he's going to make sure Phil never gets to hear the end of it since.

As soon as he saw his husband at the door techno picked up the baby, holds it over his head and smiles. "You got the first word dude, this is nor fair nor legal. I demand immediate compensation."

"What?" His husband giggled. "What does 'getting the first word' mean exactly?"

Techno grinned. "Well, he did say 'Awww mate', don't think he learnt that from me." The baby, who was basically asleep at this point, immediately woke up and parroted back. 

Phil's eyes went wide. He got closer and took the baby from Techno's arms. "Oh wow. This kid's really growing." He said, staring at the baby with a bit of unexplained sadness. 

Techno really wasn't sure what to say since  Phil clearly had some stuff on his mind and needed confort. Shit, Techno wanted to help but... He didn't understand why he was sad. "Of course he is. It's been quite a long time since we took him in." 

"His parents must be terrified for him." Phil caressed the child's cheek and almost winced when he started giggling. "We still haven't found them and it's been almost 9 months." 

And, that was very concerning. The part about the baby missing not so much but the fact that a huge amount of slaves had been moved without being caught by anyone was a very bad sign. 

Like, at this point Techno had almost stopped hoping for all those people. He was of the opinion that right now they would be lucky to even find them dead. 

It was shit but it really did feel like it. 

"If it makes you feel any better, the parents probably wanted someone to find him." Techno tried, though he was almost crying himself. This was... This was cruel and should never have happened and Techno had never been more sure of it. 

"Like, they knew they were being evacuated and hid  the baby so that someone outside could find him and care for him better than them, especially since the slave master would have focused hard on them."

"What?" Phil looked genuinely confused for a few seconds. Suddenly though, his face turned into a mask of pure anger. "It's because they're avians, isn't it?" 

"It's because he'd be expensive as hell. People would fight tooth and nail to have one of these, even just for breeding." Techno immediately looked away for the kid after he said it. "Shit, that was... Great, I want to vomit now that I'm thinking about it."

Phil didn't really answer, he just chuckled. And even that was mostly out of nervousness. Which, understandable, this is definitely not the easiest thing about to another avian who's probably heard a lot more horror stories than him.

It's not like, he's never thought about it fully but avians really could be the perfect target for slavery, mostly any kind but working on plantations would have a lot of pros that would make it worthwhile economically and...

Oh no, that's bad. He's not supposed to even think this kind of shit. 

It was... Techno hates hates hates how he can still very easy calculate how much any particular person would be worth and what their purpose would be. He can't help but wish that it weren't so easy to slip in a mindset like that. 

That's scary, like actually scary.

It's not like... He doesn't treat people based on how much they would be worth, not at all. Plus it was definitely something he learnt to do to protect himself. 

Knowing how much you yourself are worth helps you determine how often you can make mistakes before you become too disruptive to even be worth it.

It was bad for him in the long run but it kept him alive. It kept him from being shoved out the fortress with nothing but the barely sufficient clothes he was wearing, and he really does mean only.

God, the fact that he was even alive now really was a miracle. 

"Techno? Tech?" Phil called out to him, his voice trembling lightly and his eyes covered in a layer of tears. 

Techno only hummed, preparing for the worst. 

Phil inhaled loudly. "I don't think we're ever going to find his parents." And God, that really was the worst thing they could talk about. 

The worst part about it was the fact that it was statement. Not a question, that would imply there's a bit of hope left for all those people that somehow 'disappered'. 

Techno sighed and looked down, unsure on what he could say to help. God, Phil is good at confrontation, he would probably know what to say. "No, we aren't." 

"Should... We can't just keep calling him the kid if that's true, can we?" Phil looked down at the small bundle of joy still happily giggling against the man's chest. 

They've had this silent agreement to let the kid's parents actually name him since it felt like the right thing to do. And, to be honest, Techno hasn't even thought about it, it felt almost heretical.  

"Yeah, we can't." He tried to think about a couple of human names he actually likes but comes up empty handed. "What do you want to name him?"

"Well, my grampa did make me promise to name my kid after him but I never wanted to." Phil started to rock the baby back and forwards. "Always felt that would push expectations on him, also he had a terribly old name even by that time's standards." 

"So? Do you know any good names?" Techno chuckled quietly. "Cause not gonna lie, I know none. I'd be fine with whatever." 

Phil looked up at him, his eyes shiny and a wide grin on his face.  "Wilbur." 

"That's a shit name." Honestly, Techno had never heard a dumber name than that. But honestly, he have no alternatives to avoid this truly dreadful name. "I can live with it, it's shit but I can live with it." 

"That's not... That's not the usual reaction you should have when naming your kids." Phil smiled awkwardly. "We can think of something else, you know?"

And ugh, Techno doesn't want to stay on this conversation for long. He doesn't really care about how their kid is named and Phil clearly does, he has thought about it much more.

Techno rolled his eyes and leaned closer to the baby. "Wilbur, tell your father that he's being insufferable despite me being a good husband and accepting his dumbass name choices."

The kid started giggling and cheering, trying to grab Techno's face with his tiny little hands. 

"Dude, come on..." Phil pushed him away and started to shush the kid to calm him down since it was almost bedtime. "You really sure?" 

"Yeah, Wilbur it is." 

Here they are, in the same room. Both former slaves, both traumatized, both scared of alphas at some point, both alive, both escaped and both healing. 

And on God, Techno is gonna take care of Wilbur well if it's the last thing he does. 

Chapter Text

It's weirdly nice to see Will grow up, cathartic in a way. It's like seeing somebody have the childhood Techno was supposed to have. 

Because, while his trauma definitely shows up sometimes and he does have bad days, Wilbur's fine. 

Sometimes Techno feels like Wilbur could easily be his bio kid. There's this spark in eyes that he recognizes all too well, this desire to do great thing, this curiosity that he can't help but be proud of. 

And, that's the greatest thing of it all, it's being encouraged, all these traits he was ruthlessly punished for were being applauded by all the adults around him. 

When Wilbur started asking about geography and what other countries are like he gets maps, age appropriate books and lots of stories from all of the adults around him. 

And that's... The only thing Techno got when he asked people about his interest was rough dismissal or weird anger at the fact he was asking thing 'beyond his level of comprehension'. 

And Techno's so happy about it. This is... Will deserves it, everyone deserves better than what he got in his childhood. 

Will's so much luckier than him. 

He's not closed off, he can play with normal kids pretty well, he's starting to get less cautious around alphas that aren't Phil and he doesn't have a neutral expression on a regular basis. 

Techno isn't sure Wilbur will ever really be completely fine but he's been doing good, or at least better than Techno when they were the same age. 

And hey, that must mean he's not completely messing up.

Somehow what he's doing really is enough. And thank the gods for that, Techno couldn't live with the thought that he was harming this child in his care. 

Wilbur's a weird kid all things considered. Lovely but very very weird.

Firstly he never really learnt how to crawl. Nobody's sure why since the poor maid had been trying to encourage him for months. 

He then surprised everyone around him when he started walking one month before the average. Which was found out when he walked into an open closet, feel asleep there and ended up locked inside for three hours. 

Honestly, Techno's first thought was that some maid stole the baby because, you know, who expects their baby to walk on his own for the first time just to go into a closet. 

But no, there are no baby stealing maids around here as far as he's aware. It was all fine. 

Wilbur doesn't like eating. Techno expected it since all the children in his family had problems with their appetite, presumably because of trauma. 

And, you know, there are ways to get people to eat against their will and they do feel a lot easier for the parent than just begging their kids to eat constantly. At least... Technically...

Techno was force fed before. It's the one traumatic shit his parents did that he actually thinks was necessary at the time. Slaves weren't fed regularly and you were thoughts to assume every meal could be your last.

And it wasn't just some far fetched paranoia they had. Dieing because of exhausting or hunger was way too common in plantation slaves. 

But you know, Will has food available at all times and forcefeeding is very traumatic and unnecessary in his situation. If he skips dinner and he's hungry later he can ask the maid to get it, it's no big deal. 

But like... It seems like a whole different situation sometimes, Will describes food and his relationship to it in a very weird way. 

There was this one time they'd all gone out to a festival together and were walking around in a market. 

Techno was mostly focusing on holding Will as tightly as possible since there were so many people that could easily trample on him. 

"Mate!" Phil called out to Will and pointed to a random stand Techno could barely see among the sea of people. "Want to get one of those lollipops? I loved them as a kid." 

Will looked and made one of the most disgusted face in the world. "Nah, that one's... Eugh."

Techno squinted to see what the hell kind of thing his husband was offering to their kid. It wouldn't be the first time his husband's tried giving extremely spicy food to find out what kind of faces the kid would make. 

And... It looked normal, just a nice little lollipop with a stupid drawing on it, Techno really couldn't tell what was supposed to be disgusting about it.

But they excused that as him just having very weird taste for a 5 year old. It happens, children sometimes like weird things, it's not anything concerning. 

What is concerning is the one time they catch Will eating fruit from the garden.

That day Phil had decided to take Techno for a walk in the private garden around the castle, mostly because he's spent the last two days almost entirely locked in his room to finish his work. 

They weren't going to interviene, leave the kid to have fun and all, until they noticed just how dirty Will was, his white shirt covered in dark blue, roundish stains. 

So Techno ran up to him and knelt in front of him. "The hell did you do? I get stains, I really do..." He tried to peel a whole ass blueberry from Will's poor abused clothing. "But this? Did you roll around in them or something?" 

"I did not..." Will looked down and bit his lip. "I was just.... trying to throw it over my head and eat it... My friends do it all the time and they're fine."

"Your friends are clearly better at it then..." Techno's eyes start scanning the clothing, hoping they're at least salvageable. Unfortunately the smell is just way too strong and it probably won't ever go away. "Will, we're gonna have to throw these away now..." 

Techno probably sounds a bit too disappointed honestly. It's just... These are some nice clothes and it's gonna be such a hassle to get Will fitted again. RIP adorable little suit, you deserved a better owner.

"Sorry Technoblade...." Wilbur tried, though Techno had no doubt he would do this over again if he had the change.

But hey, it's the thought that counts. 

"Hey, it's fine." He really wanted to say the opposite though, just because of how badly Will got dirty. "Just... Don't do this again, or else I'm gonna make you cle-"

Techno was interrupted by the sound of his husband spitting. "Good Lord, those are not ripe at all." Phil said, in between desperately scrubbing his tongue with his hands to get the taste out his mouth. 

"But they're squishy, aren't they?" Wilbur side eyed his father, acting like he was the crazy one while standing there covered in berry juice. 

Phil looked back at him with his brow arched, which was the funniest shit ever considering he's a full grown adult arguing over berries. "Yeah, squishy and sour as shit. How did you not notice it at all?" 

"I don't... They seem ok..." Will answered back, still just as confused as before. 

Techno whishes he could be as perplexed as both his husband and son. He just... Blissful ignorance would sound great right now. 

Shit, how is he this dumb? He knows Will used to be a slave, he should have checked for injuries. That's like standard practice with former slaves. 

"Will, open your mouth as wide as possible." Techno said, his voice and tone suddenly switching to business mode. 

Wilbur immediately does, seemingly noticing just how serious the situation just got. 

Sure enough, there's a whole ass blister on Will's tongue, a blister that looks an awful lot like a family symbol. It's old, so old, in fact, that Techno would have expected it to heal years ago. 

It's... It's a brand. Wilbur's been branded on his tongue. 

Shit. Fuck, he hates this. This is all so...

God, they... They really had to specifically target a part of his body to make sure Will would still have a hard time enjoying life if he escaped. It isn't even visible most times, this is clearly just an attempt to make his life shit. 

He tries to compose himself for a couple moments. 

After he actually felt ready, Techno turned around and giggled, the nervous 'about to pull my hair out.' kind. "Yeah, he can't taste shit..."

"What?" Phil slowly walked up to him and looked down into Will's mouth. He must have noticed the brand since he whispered out "Oh, I see."

Wilbur looked between both his parents. "What's the problem?" He sounded scared. "I don't have a bug in my mouth, right?"

Phil looked back at his husband, a silent question on who should tell the story clearly on his lips. 

Techno thinks about it but... He's not fully recovered yet, what is he supposed to say? He waves his hands in from of his face, giving Phil the go ahead. 

Phil smiled and cupped the child's cheek. "You know how you were born in terrible environment? Like a really really bad one."

Will just nodded, still seeming absolutely terrified of whatever is happening. Techno understands since this is exactly how he feels. 

"Some of the people around you at the time thought they could own other people and they treated them badly." Phil sighed, clearly feeling the weight of the situation. "Well, one of them must have burnt your tongue or something."

Wilbur immediately covered his mouth with both his hand. "Is it gonna heal?" It sounded less like a question and more like a plea. 

Techno felt so bad for the kid, he'd been lucky enough to never get a permanent mark that he could see in the mirror. 

Phil has told him he has very big scars on his back, most likely because of whippings and stuff, and it really is a blessing that he can't see it regularly. That would have fucked him up even more. 

Techno nodded, trying to sound as reassuring as possible. "It'll probably heal, most times it does. You'll probably be able to taste food in a few years." It was an half truth. Yeah, most of these injuries heal but Will has a particularly bad one so it might not.

Techno just wishes he never had to explain this kind of shit to a child, or anybody for that matter. 

This is not natural in the slightest and Techno isn't even sure how they convinced him otherwise. Why would anybody think burning the tongue of a toddler, because they had to have done it as a literal newborn, is okay? How can you convince yourself to do it?

Will comes back to himself an hour or so afterwards and starts arguing with Phil about something stupid Techno doesn't even catch. 

Techno just goes to bed with a bad taste in his mouth.

So, Techno was going back home from work.

As you do. 

And he was almost late to his husband's birthday dinner. 

As you really shouldn't do.

Whatever, point is Techno's forced to take the dark alleyway he's always tried to avoid. You know, the one with trash and unidentifiable liquid that may or may not be piss on the floor. 

Which ew, he's going to have to throw these boots away. 

Even worse since there are actual raccoons crawling around and eating trash and God, he should have just taken the normal route, this is a mess and Phil would have understood if he came home a bit late. 

And then he hears the faintest little cry. The faintest little human baby's whine. 

Techno has never turned so fast in his life.

It came from an actual box, just a straight up box placed in the middle of the alleyway. And the little whine just kept going and going and going. 

Techno grimaces and rolls up his sleeves. Shit, he's really gonna have to rummage through trash, isn't he? Hopefully he doesn't get some disease from it. 

He slowly reached for inside the box and, unfortunately, pulled out a whole ass toddler, probably one year old and so malnourished his stomach was actually arching backwards and you could see his ribcage which... yikes....

He was completely naked and his toes were blue because of the cold. Shit, he was clearly freezing, his hair was falling out with the littlest of touch and he had bruises and bites all over him. He must have been here a lot of time. 

Shit, God, fuck, hell. What the fuck? What is he doing here? Techno really can't leave him here, can he?

He took off his cape and at least tried to keep the boy decent and hide how dirty and bruised he actually was. 

The walk home is weird, especially since it gives Techno time to think about how he's going to explain all of this to both Phil and Wilbur. Time that frankly he doesn't want. 

He doesn't want to think about how long the child must have spent int the dark alleyway, he doesn't want to think about in what conditions he was probably born in, he just doesn't want to think about the kid at all, it's all so... wrong in that visceral way that makes your skin crawl. 

Techno crept into the castle though a back door, not wanting people to find out about a whole ass baby before his husband. 

For some reason this is the first time he actually wonders how his husband must have felt that night Wilbur came to live with them. Did he feel as overwhelmed by the responsibility to do good as Techno felt right now? 

Maybe, maybe not. Phil will always look a lot more prepared and in control than him when it comes to these things. 

Techno walked past the door blocking people from the private part of the emperor's residence, waving off Niki's concerned face with a 'later'. 

He found Phil in the sitting room, playing chess on the floor with his son despite the truly staggering amounts of places where it would be far more comfortable.

His husband barely looked up from what he was doing, as thought taking random children home was just a normal part of their life. "Who is he?" 

Techno really wasn't sure what the answer was supposed to be. Why is his husband asking stupid questions? Of course he has no idea. "I found... I found him on my way here." 

Phil slowly stood up, almost lethargically so. "I'll go get the maid. Will, don't you dare move the pieces. We're finishing this match if it's the last thing I do."

"Okay." Will said, not even looking at either of them. Even then Techno could feel the grin in his voice so he must be winning and being a little shit about it. 

Literally as soon as he heard the door close Will started to rearrange the pieces in very weird ways. "You shouldn't do that..."

"Simp." Will very eloquently replied, continuing his weird reorganization of the pieces with a face that showed the same focus of a general crafting his war plans.

Techno isn't sure that's healthy for a kid but whatever. 

Techno sighed, hard. "Who even taught you that word? It was Skeppy, wasn't it?" It had to be, he was the person vile enough to be capable of such a betrayal. 

Will didn't bother to respond, instead pointing towards the blond boy in his arms. 

Honestly, Techno expected the worst to come out of his mouth. It's not uncommon for kids to be jealous of their young brother and sisters. Thing is, biological siblings at least get a warning some 6 months before the actual birth. Will had none of it.

"What's his name?" That's... That's all he asked. No annoyance, no anger, nothing but genuine curiosity. That's nice, Will is acting very nice. 

"We haven't decided yet." Techno answered. 

Will shot up, his little hands up in the air and a wide and oh so familiar grin on his face. "We should name him Tommy!"

Techno honest to God almost vomits."Of all the thing you could get from your father you choose poor naming choice."

"Tommy's a cool name." Will argues, though that doesn't stop Techno from shuddering like a leaf at the prospect that the kid he's raising will be called THAT. Honestly, that's a whole ass war crime. 

"It's definitely not. Like at all." Techno shook his head very noticeably. "Nope, I've already compromised on one, won't compromise on two terrible names."

Wilbur stared up, looking genuinely mad. "Hey, my name is so cool, every one of my friends says it is."

That might be true, Techno's heard them compliment names such as 'Milo' or 'Friend', it wouldn't be that much of a stretch. In fact, it's really no stretch at all. "Of course they do..."

"Well, if you're so good at names than what is better?" Will crossed his little arms and looked up. "Come on, I'll wait."

Techno is left speechless. That's right, he has yet to think about a name at all and he's shitting on a toddler because he's a sane, normal person. "Umm... Theseus?" He tries, sounding stupid even to himself.

Wilbur scoffed at him, this child just scoffed at him. This is ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous. "Theseus? What kind of name is that?" 

Techno doesn't answer. This child is barely litterate, how is he supposed to understand the importance of the character and his story? Nothing he said would have mattered. 

It takes far too long for Phil to fetch the maid, which forces Techno to just hold onto the poor, dirty little toddler himself because like hell he's putting him down, this baby probably has fucking rabies and Will is already enough of an handful. 

He is not letting Will catch rabies, that would probably just actually kill him and his husband. 

Honestly, this situation is the most nightmarish thing he's ever experienced. Mostly the fact that the kid, so dirty and hungry and neglected, isn't even crying at all.

In fact the only thing he's really doing is staring at Techno with what he assumes is a resting bitch face. Just... No emotions on his face, nothing at all.

He must have been abandoned for a long time. A long long time.

This is so god damn sad Techno finds himself missing the loud, dreadful cry of Wilbur's first days home. 

At one point Will got so bored that he started skimming what Techno's pretty sure is a chess manual, sometimes rearranging the pieces on the board. 

It's this incriminating evidence that greets Phil as he opens the door. "Hey what the fu- Will...." He walked towards Techno and started to tickle him. "And you, you betrayed me. Should have stopped him from doing this kind of stuff."

"Listen he called me a simp, what was I supposed to do?" Techno joked while trying to push his husband away from him to no avail. 

The maid, poor woman, walked in the middle of this little scuffle and slowly crept towards the kid. Techno held him out towards her and smiled, slightly ashamed that his unexpected discovery was forcing her to do more work. Well, he'll get her better pay or something. 

"Your cape, Highness." She whispered as she hesitantly took the baby from him. 

"You'll give it to me later, no problem." Honestly, that baby is butt naked, he needs the cape far more than Techno. Even if it gets dirty or the maid looses it he will get a new one, it's fine. 

She bent her head slightly and went on her way,  whisking the poor, long-suffering baby away where he could be cleaned, dressed and preferably fed. 

"Dad?" Will pulled on Phil's pants. "Techno wants to give the baby a shit name, tell him that's not going to happen." He insisted and honestly, the audacity of this child is outstanding. 

Phil huffed a little, probably understanding just how dramatic Will can sometimes be. "Mate, I'm sure you're exaggerating. Plus I got to name you so it's only fair for Techno to choose this time." 

Wilbur pouted, somehow looking even more adorable than before. "Yeah but Theseus is a stupid name..."

Phil slowly turned towards his husband, mouth agape. "Pardon? Is he lying?" 

"No. That's true." Techno grunted and slouched against the wall. "What's the problem with Theseus anyway? It's a cool name." He raised his arms and gesticulated wildly in protest.

Phil cupped his cheek and smiled. "Honey, sweetie, love of my life... Anything but Theseus. Just.... Anything."

Techno pushed his husband's hand away. "Y'all are just mean, Theseus is the best name ever." He looked down, knowing full well he didn't like the name all that much. 

Unfortunately this has now turned into a very serious family discussion, he can't say he changed his mind this easily. Which means he's probably gonna call the child Theseus to his deathbed. 

And no, he is definitely not being petty. Nor dramatic for that matter.

This is a completely reasonable stance. 

Apparently, literally anybody around him is convinced Theseus isn't appropriate, not even maids or butlers, which is kind of funny since that must mean they think this name is so terrible they ignore a lot of etiquette rules. 

Honestly, he probably gives Phil way too much shit about it.

"Oh, whatever will I do? You've turned against me." He dramatically draped his arm over his eyes and tilted his head back. "I didn't think it would be possible after this many years, I thought you were different..." 

It's kinda nice, how openly he can joke about this sort of stuff now without feeling like shit afterwards. 

Phil, who has heard the speech a hundred times at this point, just sighed. "We've talked about this, if you really hate this I will tell people to stop, alright? We can call him Theseus if it's important to you." 

Techno didn't even grace his husband with an answer, just carried on with his speech. "Such a wretched, wretched man you are." He giggled and added. "You're like those husbands that don't do anything as their mother steals the baby from his wife and lets her suffer alone."

Phil gave him the look. You know, the one after he's just said something ridiculously messed up that he had no idea about. "I'm like a what?" 

"You know... That thing where a mother-in-law takes a person's kids because she thinks they won't raise the baby right." Techno said, his voice wavering noticably.

Yeah, this is one of those things he got desensitized to when he was younger. It definitely sounds a lot more normal in his head. 

"But like... Isn't taking the kid from the mother too quick very bad for both people's health?" Phil said as he was staring right in his husband's eyes. "Because I heard it can really fucks you up, especially since your body makes hormones and shit to get you to care for the baby." 

Honestly, it's kinda cute that Phil thinks people from where he was born care about mental health at all. Especially an omega's. 

"I mean, you could definitely notice how bad it was..." Techno shuddered, suddenly scared of what this conversation has just turned into. "We were all fucked up and traumatized over there and... We fucked each other up on a regular basis." 

For a second he's filled back with the fear of being just like his parents, abuse victims and abusers both, wrapped together by a thick, thick layer of trauma.

It's irrational, he's got an entire more or less healthy kid and has never felt the impulse to hurt him but hey, his brain doesn't always act rational. 

The bed bent under the weight of his beloved. "You alright? Having a flashback or something?" He asked, his voice barely above a whisper. 

Techno jumped into his husband's arms and nuzzled against his chest. "Nah. My brain's just trying to convince me that I can and will act just like my parents and hurt my kids."

Phil started caressing his back, drawing elaborate patterns to calm him down. Techno's pretty sure it's writing,the lines feeling way too similar to the word love.  "You won't, I know you won't." 

"I know..." Techno answered, almost surprised to be saying the truth. "It's just a thing that comes up every once in a while, I'm gonna be fine in a few minutes." 

"Yeah?" Phil started to scratch at the back of his head, gently tangling his fingers into his hair. "Take your time mate." 

Techno launches himself into a laughing fit, something he did not expect in the middle of a almost breakdown. "Don't call me mate when we're in the middle of something romantic, it ruins the mood and all." 

Phil slowly pushed him away from his chest to look at him in the eyes, a very stern expression on his face. "Listen, we now have two kids and I WILL make sure both their first words are 'mate' so fuck you I'm gonna say it a lot now." 

Techno groans. "Oh, you bastard." He lunged forward and pushed Phil right against the mattress. "It's not going to be. I don't care if I have to kill you to make sure of it." 

"Techno, how are children made?" Will looked up at him. "Cause my friend said kids stay in one of your parents' tummy for like a year but the maid said a stalk brings them when two married people love each other very much." 

Techno almost cringes because God, he never even thought about how to explain this topic in an appropriate way. 

And of course Wilbur was gonna ask, he's curious as shit and is very keen on learning. 

"Ok so... Yeah, your friend is sort of right. Kids spend 9 months growing in the uterus, which is an organ in the belly." He isn't sure if it's inappropriate to use anatomical terminology but how else is he supposed to explain all this shit?

"Ok." Wilbur nodded.  "But how did it get in there?" 

Techno sighed hard. "Well, there's this thing adults do with people they really love, it's kinda like a hug but much more intimate. Also it should only be done if both people agree and are aware of what is happening, that's really important too. Got that?"

He felt the need to press hard about this. It's... Honestly, Techno thinks this is the most important part of sex and, unfortunately, he knows from experience how easy it is to convince yourself it's normal.

Wilbur nodded as he looked up at him, a cute little frown on his face. "How does that tie in with children?" 

Techno forced himself to smile. This whole talk feels so awkward but it's important that Will doesn't come out of it ashamed of sex. "Well, if two people who have different genitals do it, the alpha's seed might end up in the omega's uterus and a kid may start to grow." 

"Ok, I get it." Wilbur nodded, looking a bit disinterested. Which is weird as he was the one to ask, was he... Did he find the explanation boring? 

"What is it? You look a little down." It can't have been that, that'd be very very weird. There must be some other reason, maybe his friend had said that since he was having a baby brother he couldn't hang out with him one day. 

Wilbur looked up hesitantly. "You and Phil love each other, right?" 

"Of course." Techno dreaded whatever was about to come next, this did not seem like a good start to a conversation.

"Then why... Why didn't you have a kid that way?" 

Techno cursed out whatever nurse told him love even matters for a child to be born. Did she do it on purpose? This felt like a whole ass personal attack on his marriage.

"Not everyone can have kids, you know? Even if they have different genitals and 'should' be able to." Techno shrugged, feeling a bit hurt for no reason. "I can't. It's no big deal." 

It felt less of a big deal now, after years and years of an healthy and happy marriage. 

Will looked at him horrified, to the point he covered his mouth with both his hands. "Even if you love each other? That must be soooo sad... " 

"It was when I first found out, I didn't expect it at all." Techno ruffled Will's hair, trying to lighten the mood a bit. "But hey, I have Phil, you and Theseus. That's already more than enough."

Will looked down, his eyes dull and oh so sad at the same time. "That's... That's really not the same thing at all, is it? Like... I'm not your blood and all." 

Techno immediately turned and knelt in front of him. "Who told you that?" That's not what he thinks and definitely not how Phil feels.

Will has called Phil dad before for goodness's sake and has never suggested otherwise. Since when is he concerned about blood or whatever? 

Will looked down and started to anxiously move his foot. "I... I dunno, people. It's... They make comments sometimes."

Techno placed both of his hands on Will's shoulders. "You know how I was born far away, don't you?" 

Will nodded. "In the nether, right?" 

"Yeah... The nether." Techno paused for a second, trying to compose himself enough not to burst into tears in front of a kid needing comfort. "The reason... Well, one of the reasons I left was because my relatives by blood treated me badly, like very badly." 

It was as much as Techno felt was appropriate to say in this context. Will's way too young, he might tell him about the abuse later. "Blood doesn't matter, a bad person is a bad person and a person I love is a person I love. I know Phil thinks it too, just go and ask him." 

Will looked up, his poor little eyes filled with tears. "So... you see me as part of your family?" 

"I do... but you don't have to, I'll be whatever you need me to be." Techno cupped his cheek and tried to force himself to smile through the pain. "All I want is for you to be happy, alright?"

Wilbur hugged him and cried quietly against his shirt while Techno tried to confort him as best as he could. 

He made sure the kid got some good hot chocolate and a plate of cut fruit that night. It must have been a mentally exhausting day for the boy. 

Tommy either learns to speak very late or he's a very large baby. Both are possible since they know shit about his birth, they found no document and nobody came to take him back. 

He's not very receptive to Phil's attempts to get his first word to be 'mate', ruining his dear husband's plan. But what he is very receptive to is cursing or inappropriate vocabulary, for some reason. It's like he was made in a lab specifically to make people think they're bad parents.  

Which yeah, maybe you're not supposed to teach children swear words but... It's hard to completely change your vocabulary overnight and, as bad as it may sound, Techno has bigger things to worry about. 

Tommy grows up to be very clingy. Honestly, Techno wouldn't be surprised if this really were some sort of weird coping mechanism to being abandoned as a newborn. 

While Tommy has said he remembers nothing that isn't being with Phil and Techno he might still have some subconscious feelings. Honestly, brains are surprisingly good at keeping all your trauma stacked somewhere for no reason at all and taking it out at weird times.

Mostly when you're in a completely safe environment where it isn't warranted.

It's annoying but it's just how it is. Techno couldn't tell you how many times he's gotten triggered because of completely normal people or situations that he was completely safe in. 

Tommy's just an handful. He's almost constantly full of energy, to the point it's almost impossible to get him to sit in a normal chair and he has a really hard time just... waiting for things. 

It can sometimes get a little disruptive but hey, it's not the end of the world. He's slowly getting better at it and in a few years he will probably be the normal amount of clingy.

Techno would much rather have a slightly rude, impatient child than a badly abused kid who doesn't even dare to ask his parents things. 

Wilbur actually becomes very close to Tommy, a lot more than most brothers do.

He's been guilty multiple times of doing that thing where older siblings lie about the world and convince their poor, defenseless sibling who doesn't know any better. 

Honestly, the funniest story Will made up was that he was given to Phil by the Goddess of Death herself because he was such a devout follower of him. 

Which, thought Will didn't know it yet, was an hilarious implication considering Phil has said he would fuck her if given the possibility. 

Just... hilarious. Techno's asked Phil if it was true multiple times just to spite him. 

So... Techno is starting to be concerned that his son may be an egomaniac.

Yeah yeah, he knows what the nurse said about children being quite self-centered for the first years of their live and he gets it, he definitely does. 

But he's pretty sure most children don't actually make up a country they're the benevolent dictator of and recruit their younger brother to be their right hand man. Or, you know, whatever L'manburg is. 

The first time Phil and him find out about this weird, weird game is because of a maid. Not Will's maid, just this very nice cleaning lady that was known to worry very easily. 

She approached them one day, looking very alarmed. "Your Highness, I think someone in the staff is planning a cue." Which is a hell of a way to get their attention.

It's not like it made them panic, they knew she was probably just being a bit alarmist but it was worth listening just to make sure. "Yes? What makes you think of that?" Phil asked, already almost laughing his ass off. 

"I found this stuffed behind a wardrobe." She said, pulling out a piece of parchment. On it there was a either short poem or a song, Techno wasn't really sure, about this country named L'manburg. 

Phil grabbed it and looked at it for a few seconds. "This is Wilbur's calligraphy, isn't it?" He gave the offending paper towards Techno so he could check on it too. 

"It is..." He could recognize this messy way of writing anywhere. "It's probably just some imaginative game he's playing, kids do that." 

The maid bowed, her head almost touching the floor for a second. "So sorry highness, didn't mean to waste your time." Her voice sounded so apologetic.

Techno put his hand up, not bothered at all. "No worries miss, better safe than sorry." Honestly, it cheered him up, the idea that some weird revolutionaries would be caught because of a stupid little song. Just... Absolutely hilarious. 

They don't hear anything else about L'manburg for quite a long time, enough that Techno was pretty sure this was a one time thing or some sort of assignment Will wasn't particularly proud of. No big deal, it happens. 

That is until Phil opens the big, walk-in closet in Tommy's room and finds a truly staggering amount of hand drawn flags and posters filled with weird catch lines . Turns out the kids really were acting like two little revolutionaries and hid this whole thing from their parents. 

Techno's almost impressed that they even managed it with this many maids around. He's a little less impressed that Will for some reason knows how to craft pretty pretty well made propaganda. 

Is it trauma related? He isn't sure. It's probably more just Wilbur is a weird ass kid related.

Techno's usually pretty inept at playing with kids, he was never even taught about stuff that wasn't strictly survival or discipline related since as far as they were concerned that was all that mattered to kids. 

Honestly, he's almost happy they're playing this game. Techno can work with this, he feels prepared to talk about country and revolution considering how many times he's worked in those environments. 

Techno found the both of them sprawled on the floor one time, wearing some old Halloween costumes they asked for the year before. Both are very focused on painting as many versions as possible of the same flag.

He hesitantly sat down next to them, hoping not to interrupt. "So, this is for L'manburg, isn't it?" Techno ruffled Tommy's hair and smiled. 

Will turned to him incredibly offended. He put his finger over his mouth and shushed him so hard that it genuinely felt like hissing.

Tommy nodded, looking as disappointed as a four year old can look. "It's a secret, you wrongun..." 

Techno giggled. They really did act like actual revolutionaries, like they were in legitimate danger if they got caught. 

"Sorry, sorry." He held up his arms in surrender and started whispering. "So, why does L'manburg want independence? There is a reason, right?" He really doesn't want them to get discouraged, this game seems fun. 

"Because they won't let us sell drugs." Tommy answered, shouting the last word. 

"Oh..." Honestly, he expected anything but drugs. Just... That didn't feel like an actual possible reason to start a revolution. How could drugs possibly be that important to the nation's economy? Like... That can't be the only reason. 

But really, is he expecting accuracy from a story made by children? He should just move on. He tilted his head a bit and smiled. "And you both govern it?" 

Wilbur shook his head. "Nah, Tommy's my right hand man. I'm the president." Which, that part's weird. Does he remember his brothers or sisters doing it? Like, using power dynamics into games?

Actually yeah, he remembers a sister of his getting reprimanded because she was making her brother crawl too long to play dog and owner or something.

Techno nodded, writing himself a personal note to talk to Phil about this. "So, you mentioned a 'they'. Does L'manburg have enemies?" 

"Dream, he won't let us get our independence." Tommy looked up at him and pointed his fingers up, like a parent warning a child. "He's a bitch you know? You shouldn't get too close to him." 

Techno really doubted that this Dream could in any way be a threat to him on the count of being a toddler. "Oh, I'm sure I could handle a fight with him..."

"Nahhh." Tommy immediately spoke up, immediately somehow cracking a part of his heart. "Phil might be able to beat him, he's the only man ever. But Dream is really really powerful." 

Techno knelt so he was on the kid's eye level. "You guys do know I can take Phil easy when we spar, right?" 

Will looked back at Tommy and rolled his eyes. "Of course you can, you're the blade. What idiot would think you're worse?" He nodded to himself and giggled.

Techno raised his eyebrow. "Have you guys been fighting about this?" This is... Weirdly nice. His kids don't think it's weird that their parents are more or less evenly matched in combat. 

Well, now that he thinks about it a bit more it's no wonder they do. It's not like anyone around him has ever even tried to suggest the opposite but still... Techno was told that it was just natural. 

But still it feels like affirmation that his choices were and should have been treated as completely average.

"No, we never fight about anything." Wilbur said with a huge amount of confidence, as thought Techno hadn't literally seen them have a fight two hours prior at dinner. "We just.... What's that word? Discussed... Yeah, discussed with each other." 

Techno ruffled Will's hair, making some strands fall all over his face. "Whatever..." 

Chapter Text

Honestly, L'manburg had seemed like some weird short term game they were playing. Techno expected them to drop it in a year at most and move on to other pretend games. 

Apparently no, apparently this game lasted for about 5 whole years. It must be some sort of record. 

It got to the point where Will started to give him an hand written newspaper every once in a while. 

Honestly, L'manburg would have been a mess of a country. It's constantly at war it seems, terrorism is just a random Tuesday and drug cartels are the main drivers of the economy. 

And that's not even mentioning the benevolent- ish dictator that was trying to sabotage elections.

But like... One day it just stops, abruptly. 

He caught Will just... taking off any poster and hand drawn flag from his room, a somber look on his face. 

"Everything alright?" He asked, mostly because Will used to be obsessed with this game up untill the day before. He talked about it with Tommy at the dinner table literally a week before. 

Will turned around and smiled. "It was never meant to be." Which probably meant something to him but answered fuck all to Techno. 

It's fucking creepy, the smile he made as he said those nonsensical words. It just... It looked crazed in a way Techno can't rationalize.

So he didn't press. It's probably not that big a deal, they most likely just outgrew the game, it's not like it could last forever. 

Will's fifteen for goodness's sake. Of course this was gonna happen. 

Apparently he was wrong about L'manburg end not being a big deal as Tommy has been refusing to talk to Will for the last three days. 

Honestly, Techno's kind of surprised Tommy can stay mad this long. Usually it takes little more than a day for him to go back to how he normally acts. 

Yeah, they have little fights before, quite a lot in fact, but they do not carry the same vitriol as this. This is probably the first serious fight they've ever had. 

Techno waited three days just to be sure they couldn't iron it out without their parents' help because, you know, that would be the best option. 

He asked Phil first, just to make sure he wasn't being paranoid or something. 

"Hey, have you noticed anything weird about Will? Or Tommy for that matter?" Techno asked as they were walking to their room after putting Tommy to sleep. "I think they fought." 

Phil nodded. "I don't know about Tommy but Will definitely did something weird." He paused for a second and laughed nervously. 

"He asked me to help act out this thing, I think it was for a writing assignment. It was like this weird thing about me murdering him after he'd gone crazy." His husband brushed his fingers through his hair and looked down.

"Really? A writing assignment?" Techno asked quite incredulously. "Does he even do creative writing with his tutors anymore? I was pretty sure he moved on to essays a couple years ago." 

"I dunno... Honestly I was kinda scared, it was really dramatic." Phil shrugged and smiled a little bit. "I think it had to do with L'manburg blowing up now that I'm thinking about it, could it be that?" 

Techno blinked once. Then twice. 

"Are you dumb or something? Of course it's that." Techno pushed his hair back from his face. "Tommy cares about that shit, come on."

Phil shrugged and rolled his eyes. "I thought they were over it by now, it's been what? 5 years."

Come on, it's... How can he not know about this shit. Will and Tommy talk about it quite regularly. "Come on, don't you keep up? I thought Will sent you fake letters every once in a while about it or something."

"I skim them, it's not like I'm supposed to answer." Phil tried to justify himself, though that was a piss poor excuse. "Why do you have such strong opinions about this game?" 

You know, he could say that it's because that's the only game Techno can feel comfortable playing. It's kinda annoying when you're trying to help children play and you're constantly reminded that shit, this is what I should have had. 

Like, he tries. He doesn't want to be one of those emotionally distant parent who constantly ignores his kids and shit. 

But some days it's rougher than others and this game is more or less doable year-round. For some reason the war roleplay feels a lot safer than just... having a fake tea party or some shit. 

"I just do, ok?" Techno snapped, smiling a little too hard to seem serious. 

Phil just smiled back, looking at his husband like he's an adorable little kitten rather than a fucking veteran. It's not like... a patronizing smile, it looks genuine. 

That night Techno crept into Theseus's room. 

"Hey, you alright?" Techno said as he was sitting down on his bed. "I heard about L'manburg."

Tommy turned to the other side, his back to Techno. "Will betrayed me." He said, completely matter of fact, his sadness only noticable thanks to the tone of voice. 

"Like in the game or in real life?" Techno has learnt to ask, since sometimes 'Will' is the character and sometimes 'Will' is the person and over the years the two have grown very distinct. 

Thankfully, Will the character's a dictator, a drug dealer, employs teen and actual kids in his army and is generally a really bad person and a menace.

"In the game." Tommy answered, his voice quiet and fearful. "And a little bit in real life. The... The thing that happened to L'manburg... It ruined the fun." 

"I know." Techno said, caressing the kid's hair as lightly as possible, hoping this way he would fall asleep. "I get why you're mad, this is also your game."

There was a pause, where the only thing audible in the room was both their breathing and the rustling of leaves from outside the window. 

"I mean, he did apologize. I just..." Tommy sighed. "I'm still mad he didn't ask before writing that." 

"That's fine. You can forgive him when you're ready." It's not like their relationship is gonna crumble because of something like this, they'll be back to taking very fast. 

Now, don't get him wrong. Techno loves his kids and he's very thankful he even got this life after all the shit he's gone through in his life. 

But being woken up by your 10 year old son jumping on the bed while shouting your name is something he'd rather not experience. 

For a second Techno has to remind himself that yes, he does love his kids and doesn't want to murder them just yet. 

He slowly, very very slowly, got up and blinked a couple times. "Theseus, it's 8 a.m. on a Sunday night. The palace better be burning down or else you're in trouble." 

He was still so fucking sleepy. Sleep deprivation has to be legally considered torture or something because God damn does it feel like it.

Theseus's smile does not foretell anything good. Techno just hopes whatever mess he made can be delt with fast so he can go back to sleep on his free day. 

Theseus closed both his fists into a punch and held them so tightly his knuckles turned white. "Teach me how to fight." Theseus asks. Actually it's more like a demand than anything. 

Techno wordlessly turned around and pulled his duvet over his head. 

Listen, Theseus's already obnoxious about his masculinity and accident prone, teaching him any kind of combat would be bad for himself and the empire in its entirety. 

Unfortunately Theseus neither agrees nor gets the hint to just... leave. "Hey, didn't you hear me? Teach me how to fight." He started poking against Techno's body. 

Techno reemerged from his cocoon of isolation. "What is it that got you interested into fighting all of a sudden?" 

T smiled mischievously. "My friend Tubbo found a new best friend or something so I'm going to beat him up and become the superior friend." He punched the air a couple of times, with terrible form might Techno add.

"I don't think beating up his friend is how you do that Theseus." Techno grumbled under his breath, still very much annoyed at being woken up early on his free day. 

Theseus visibly contemplated the statement before seemingly deciding his logic was bullshit. "Well then I'll beat up his bullies, that will get me his friendship... Also girls, lots of girls." 

Techno rolled his eyes because this was obviously just an excuse to beat people up. "Theseus, you're ten. You're too young to learn hand to hand combat, especially with me." 

"Teach me how to use a sword then." Theseus insisted, holding his arms up as far as he possibly could. "You're 'the Blade', you must know something about swords." 

Techno sighed, absolutely sure that Theseus would bother him until nighttime if he didn't give in. "Alright, alright, I will teach you how to use a sword if you leave me alone later. Now got wait outside, I've got to change." 

Techno changed into slightly more comfortable clothing and pulled his air up in a bun. His shirt's probably going to be muddied to shit by the end of today since Theseus has a knack for throwing dirt when in danger. 

Theseus was waiting right outside the door, sitting on the cold floor. He immediately shot up as soon as he saw Techno. Techno just gestured for him to get up and follow, continuing to walk at his usual fast pace.

Theseus scrambled to catch up to him. "Hey, this is not the way to the arena!" He shouted, despite only being 50 centimeters behind. 

"Of course, I'm going to the kitchens." Techno replied simply. There's no way in hell he's dealing with Theseus's antics on a empty stomach. 

Theseus crossed his arms and huffed, hard. He was clearly exaggerating to make sure Techno noticed his disapproval.  "Come on, I want to fight! And be a big man! You're a wrongun, you know that?" 

It's kinda nice, the fact that Theseus doesn't realize the dangers of going into fighting before having eaten. Even at his age, Techno would have been hyperaware of the risks. 

Theseus's innocent, he actually does act like a child. Techno acted like an adult by the time he was 5 years old and was already thinking about children, marriage, war and all this shit Techno shouldn't even have been aware of. 

Techno just rolled his eyes, suddenly feeling some sort of fondness for the kid and his enthusiasm. "Theseus, do you want to pass out?" 

When he was a teen and had just started to train as a war slave a lot of generals did use taking food as a punishment for bad behavior or performance. 

The first few weeks were particularly rough on him since he hadn't been allowed to train all his childhood, unlike the other kids who were basically given swords when they couldn't even walk. 

"Big men never pass out." Theseus answered quite confidently, as if he weren't basic human biology. 

At some point though, either out of hunger or just because he noticed Techno won't take him to the arena if he doesn't, he relented and ate the breakfast Techno offered him. 

As soon as Techno does get to the arena, though, he noticed one thing. Actually, he noticed this flaw a lot earlier than this but didn't seem that important in any other contexts. 

Theseus is way too impulsive to fight at an even amateurish level. 

Techno was trying to at least teach the basics before actually having a spar, otherwise fighting would be counterproductive.

Theseus wasn't cooperating though. He just kept rolling his eyes, getting distracted or simply not listening.

"Come on, I thought we were gonna stab people." Theseus complained after his father made one too many correction. 

Techno sighed. "You need to fix your stand first, your feet are way too close to each other."  He is forced to be move Theseus's body like a doll to the actual correct position. "If you fall on your ass you won't get girls, will you?" 

That seemed to convince the child as he immediately started to actually pay attention to Techno's suggestions. He looked down and moved his feet so they were actually parallel. 

It's funny how the threat of not getting girls is seen as more important than actually falling qnd being hurt. Well, one does sound a lot more possible than the other so there's that. 

Techno scanned the position, making sure nothing is actually dangerous. It's definitely not a perfect stand, probably not even a great one, but hey, he probably won't fall backwards with a strong enough gust of wind. 

"Alright, that's good enough. Now we can have a little friendly spar." Techno relinquished, just humor Theseus a little bit. 

Theseus genuinely jumped up at the proposition. God, he seemed so excited to get his butt kicked... 

He lounged forwards as soon as Techno was done counting. A very terrible idea since his opponent's literally more than twice his size. 

Techno just blocked, not even bothering to put any strength in the movement. Theseus, because of his already mentioned weight and size, was still pushed backwards and barely stopped himself from falling. 

Honestly, he expected Theseus to shout something like "You're a wrongun and a bitch, I'm gonna beat you up one day."

It's not like... It's understandable really, everybody's a sore loser every once in a while, especially if you just lot to a strict teacher. 

Instead Theseus looked up, somehow holding the sword even tighter. "Wow, that was so cool. You're gonna teach me how to do that, right?" 

Techno just smiles, so fucking proud of the resilience this child has. "Well yeah, when you've got the strength for it. Right now it would just hurt you, especially if I put my full weight on the attack." 

"But I want to learn now!" Theseus punched the air downwards, looking like a grumpy little kitten being forced to wear ribbons. 

Yeah, he has to clear it up. Otherwise Theseus's gonna train on his own and actually get hurt. God knows Techno did it a lot when he was younger. 

It's... He'd never been taught to have an healthy relationship with training, in fact he'd been encouraged to go harder to 'catch up to what biology wasn't allowing him to do'. 

And unfortunately that was one of the habits Techno didn't lose as soon as he left, he just kinda internalized that he was supposed to train untill his muscles were screaming at him, sometimes even pushing himself farther than any human should. 

Now he's started to actually pay for it by getting joint pain well before the age it usually starts. Which is great, just lovely. 

Techno kneeled so their eyes were level. "Theseus, you won't learn how to use a sword through dedication alone. It takes patience, otherwise you risk hurting yourself forever, this is serious."

"Like that it'll take years though..." Theseus slumped against him, seeming very disappointed. "I'm sure you only took a month to be good." 

Techno genuinely giggled. Honestly, it's kind of adorable that Theseus thinks he's always been an absolute natural at fighting. 

It's just one more reminder that what they said wasn't true, that how you're born as matters much less than they thought.

"I definitely did not, I was really bad at it for a long time." He cupped Theseus's cheek, the boy immediately leaning into it desperately. 

"Yeah?" Theseus asked, sounding so very weak in his arms. It was so... uncharacteristic of the kid, so unlike the brash, hard to love boy Techno's gotten used to.

"Of course, kid. Of course." Techno answered. He then ruffled his son's blond curls because he felt like it and getting back up. "Come on now, we've got bullies to fight, don't we?" 

Theseus suddenly grows back his vigor. He bounced up like a weird little frog hybrid and raised his fists to the ski. "Yes big T, so many bullies to stab." 

"Alright, let's go again. Just remember not to charge on bigger opponents." Techno warned before starting to count from one to ten.

So, the empire has a spring festival every year, Techno doesn't usually go because it always seemed so god damn boring. 

Wilbur, by now a late teen, asks to go alone with a group of friends that year.

It's expected, he's slowly finding his independence and 'flying away from the nest' so to speak. Since he's quite responsible and they're pretty sure he won't get into too much trouble Phil and Techno had agreed his request. 

But when Techno saw him walk through the door he really wanted to take it back. 

Will's wearing a coat and a pair of pants, that's pretty normal, nothing to be concerned about. That's basically his standard outfit. 

What's weird is the shirt. God... It's so short it exposes his bellybutton and the neckline is quite steep. How is he comfortable walking around like that?

He doesn't plan on going out at night dressed like that, right? Isn't that dangerous? Shit, Will does realize that's dangerous, right?

"You going out right now?" Techno asked, trying to sound at least a little bit calmer than he feels. 

There's a whole ass alarm ringing in his ears, so loud it's basically painful. Techno can barely think over the noise, can barely form coherent words.

Will turned back to him, looking puzzled as shit. He crossed his arms and looked back at his father past dirty glasses. "Yeah? I told you I was going out at 8 p.m., didn't I?" 

Techno sighed, very unsure how to continue the conversation. "Yeah, you did." He stared at Will's entire body, moving his eyes up and down rapidly. "And you're going to be wearing that?" 

Will's shoulder and hands clenched visibly. Something in the air shifted, a weird distance forming between father and son. 

"Yeah... Is there a problem with it?" His tone still sounded very unsure, though there was an hint of annoyance lacing the words. 

It's at that moment that the adrenaline in his brain starts going back to the normal range. It's at that moment that the doubt kicks in. 

"It's just..." Techno's torn because shit, this could easily be something serious. But it could just as easily be stupid, just a weird game his brain's playing on him. "Does Phil think this is fine?" 

That could help, Phil's good at deciding what's serious and what's not. Plus, when he was a teenager he dressed this way, who better than him would know what's appropriate and what isn't?

"I mean, probably. It's not like I asked " Will shrugged and closed his eyes for emphasis. "Since when did you become so uncompromising on clothes? You've never said anything about Niki and she wears similar shit." 

Fuck, it was just his brain being weird about clothing again.

There's this thing that happened sometime during the time he'd just escaped sex slavery where skimpy or revealing clothing got associated with the danger of the place he was born in and masculine modest clothing got associated with the safety of his life in the Overworld. 

It's not usually a standard he applies to other, just himself. He supposes the fact he raised Wilbur got his brain to try and get the kid away from that 'danger'.

Will's absolutely right, Niki does wear clothes almost exactly like these and Techno doesn't think that's weird or dangerous. 

It's just... This was just a misguided attempt at protecting his child from other people. 

It doesn't make his actions right but at least his heart was in the right place, he can just apologize and everything will be fine. 

"I'm so sorry, you're right. I was exaggerating and I understand if it annoyed you." Techno forced himself to smile for a second, waving his hand towards the door. "You go have fun, don't come home too late." 

Will didn't even move towards the door, in fact he took a step towards Techno. His arms were still crossed and his expansion was slightly hostile. "Why did you exaggerate? Is it because I'm going our with alphas?" 

Techno waves his hand in front of his face. "No, no, absolutely not. I was just... I reacted because of trauma for a second and I'm sorry that I hurt you because of it." 

Will's expression immediately changed. There was something Techno couldn't quite place on his face, maybe confusion, maybe compassion.  "Your... trauma? What do you mean?" 

And that's... Yeah, Techno never really told them, has he? 

By this time everyone close to him knows what happened to him, with different levels of detail but they do know. 

He's considered telling his kids quite a few times now. It just... Always felt weird to talk about his own experiences around sex with kids he literally raised. 

He's fine with speaking about sex in general, that's easy and necessary. Just not... his sex life, you know. That's not an unreasonable thing to hide from your kids. 

But hey, it had to happen one day or the other. "You know how I was a slave, right?" 

Will hummed under his breath, clearly still confused as hell. "Yeah, first plantation and then war slave. What does that have to do with clothes?" 

Honestly, Techno almost offended Will hasn't put the pieces together at his point in the conversation, most people would have. He would probably laugh if this were any other subject. 

"I mean, I was both those thing. That's not a lie or anything." He scratched the back of his head and lightly pulled on his hair out of nervousness. "Like, all of that's true... I was just... Also... You know." 

The words just keep getting stuck in his mouth. This whole conversation just has a very weird vibe that Techno hates. 

It's kinda ironic half of it is created by Techno himself but hey, it happens.

He sighed on last time, finally feeling somewhat ready. "I was a sex slave so... You know... Clothing is a big trigger of mine and since I feel responsible for you I kind of...projected my idea of safety I guess. Sorry."

Techno can see Will's world shatter right in front of him. His son's looking up at him the exact same way he used to do when he was younger after he just broke a very expensive piece of pottery. 

Will leaned backwards so his back's supported by the wall and immediately looked down. 

"But... Weren't you 16 when you came to the Overworld? You would have been..." He made eye contact with Techno, his eyes as wide as they possibly can get. "I'm 16! You... That can't be possible." 

"I mean, it can happen. It shouldn't but..." Techno shrugged. This is a whole mess and a half, it's definitely not the correct way to tell your kids about all this.

Suddenly Will's body cashed against him and a pair of arms were draped over his shoulder. Techno almost had to take a step back to make sure he didn't fall and take his son with him. 

Techno put his hand against Will's back. "Hey..." He said, speaking quieter than ever before. "I'm sorry I upset you. I get this is a hard subject." 

"I'm not upset..." Will answered, his voice muffled against Techno's shoulder. "I'm just... surprised I guess. You've never given any hints of this until now and you always seemed pretty casual about sex." 

Well, at least there's that. At least he accomplished his goal to not let trauma get in the way of his parenting to the point it's noticable. 

That's a win, right? 

"I mean, when we found you I was already doing so much better. I'm probably as close to complete recovery as I will ever get." Techno just sighed. "Now go, your friends are waiting." 

Will slowly moved his arms from around Techno's shoulder to his sides. He looked into his father's eyes, probably trying to see if he was still upset. "Alright..." 

Techno smiled . "Be safe, don't do anything illegal. I love you." 

"Love you too." Will answered, his voice quieter than maybe was necessary.

Will has been acting very distant this last couple of days. Even then it's so obvious that he's got some problem he's trying to avoid. 

It's weird, usually his kids do ask for help in almost any situation. If Will isn't telling them the problem must be very bad. Like 'I blew up a country on purpose' bad.

Phil's the one to actually ask since Techno's kinda bad at confrontations. Well... He is in the same room, he just isn't the one to start the conversation. 

"So Will, is there any problem you've been having? You look tired." Phil asked, though Techno wasn't sure he even expected an answer. 

Will huffed and looked down. "Well, you know... I kinda, you know..." He looked back up and scratched his neck. "Hooked up with some girl and ended up pregnant... I think, haven't checked yet." 

He basically said the last sentence in one singled breath, so fast it was kind hard to hear. 

From the outside Techno probably looked extremely unbothered by the situation since he barely even moved a muscle and didn't change his expression even slightly. 

In reality he was just trying to stop his brain from going into hysterics because God damnit, his 20 year old son's pregnant out of wedlock and that could basically ruin his reputation and leave him a social pariah if he doesn't marry soon enough. 

It's not even a rational thought, Bad got pregnant out of wedlock and he's still considered one of the most well mannered, nice individual. Shit, people complain he's too uptight and moralist so clearly it's not considered a moral failure. 

Plus, even if it is common, Techno does not want his son getting married to some good ol' douche that he just wanted a casual relationship with. That's just... No, his son should not do that. 

Shotgun marriages don't tend to be particularly healthy or stable. 

Honestly, Techno didn't need to react since Phil did it for the both of them. "What? Please, tell me it's not Schlatt's or something, I'm begging you. Anyone but him." 

Will made a face. "No, why would they be Schlatt's?" He almost spit the name. And then immediately looked down sheepishly and whispered "It's Sally's." 

Techno chimed in at that moment. "You mean the pirate shape shifter?" 

"She's a FORMER pirate, you know? Former, she works for you as a sailor now." Will answered, sounding almost offended on her behalf, as if that correction made it so much better. 

Phil waved the both of them off. "That's not the point of this discussion. My question is have you decided what you're going to do about this? Do you want to keep them?" 

"I don't... I don't think so." Will stated with quite a bit of confidence. "I just... I'm not sure I'm ready right now, at this age."

And that's... fair, Techno's not gonna freak out too much. 

It's... Yeah, he kinda wants to freak out. You know, just out of some weird reflex.

Now that he thinks about he's never actually dealt with a pregnancy that was seen as 'a good sign'. The reaction to it was either apathy or deep deep depression. 

Phil went up to his son and put his hand on his shoulder. "When were you going to tell her? I assume you want to tell Sally about this, don't you?" 

"I dunno, wanted to tell you guys first. Haven't thought about it much." Will looked down, those stupid bangs of his falling all over his eyes. "I still wasn't sure if I wanted to keep him 'till yesterday." 

Phil slowly angled Will's face back up and brushed his air away from his eye in such a tender display. "Don't worry, we'll help you though whatever happens."

Will nodded. "I know, I know." 

And God damn, if those words didn't light up Techno's world. 

It's... He did it, he mostly did it. He has kids that know they will be supported and will come to their parents for problems. 

That night Phil and Techno have a conversation right before falling asleep, as is now costum for them. 

"So like, how are you coping? With the pregnancy and all that." Phil asked as Techno was brushing his hair before going to bed. He sounded very worried, probably a lot more than Techno himself but hey, sometimes it happens. 

It hasn't really happened before since, you know, Techno did have the trauma but hey, Phil has every right to be worried right now. 

"I mean, I'm fine. Will's the one that's gonna raise him, it's his decision if he wants to keep him." Techno sighed, his voice quiet as a light breeze. "I don't know, I feel like that's a pretty healthy thought process."

"I guess, it's just very unexpected." Phil chuckled darkly for a second. "But yeah, I'm sure he's made the correct decision. I'm still worried though, especially about Sally, cause if she leaves Will's gonna be very depressed for a long time."

Techno raised his shoulders. "I dunno if we can do anything about that though." 

"Duh..." Phil answered, making a very exaggerated gesture to highlight the word. He started laughing for a second and Techno wasn't sure whether it was because of stress or genuine happiness, probably both. 

Since nobody seemed to have anything to add Techno went back to preparing his hair for bed, putting it up in a loose- ish bun. 

And then he felt arms around his back and a cin being placed on his shoulder. Phil looked at him through the mirror and smiled. 

"But like.... On a personal level..." Phil whispered almost against his neck, sounding extremely uncertain. "Are you unhappy about... You know... The fact Will got pregnant and you didn't?" 

"I dunno, probably not." Techno answered with the same tone of voice as his husband. "I just... It just didn't happen, after the whole freakout it got a lot less sad."

"It's kinda funny though. That the first person who got pregnant in this family is the one that didn't want it." Phil said, his voice trembling lightly. 

"I guess." Techno shrugged. "That's a bit of a morbid though though." 

"It is, I guess." Phil's eyes fluttered for a time so short you could barely notice it. "We're still talking about a hard subject. Even if it is the choice Will made" 

He pauses for a second, clearly trying to rationalize some thought that's floating around in his brain. "So you don't regret it or anything? Not having kids and all?" 

Techno just froze for a second. God, he wasn't in his nightmares, right? "I don't... Just... This is already so much more than the life I dared dream when I was younger. We never had a bio kid or anything but so what?" 

Shit, does Phil regret staying? It's... That's what he's impling, isn't it?

He's never really seemed unhappy about it before but, you know, the regret could have started along the way. It would be terrible but it could've happened. 

"How about you?" Techno asked, looking intensely at Phil through the mirror. 

Phil raised his eyebrow. "I don't regret staying with you if that's what you mean. I just... I guess right now is when it hit me that we're probably never gonna have one."

Oh thank God. Techno was starting to worry that Phil had just started to bottle up any unhappiness about the marriage. 

"That's fair." Techno's hand goes to play with Phil's hair. "But it's not like we followed exactly what the doctor said would give us the best shot at getting pregnant."

"Well, the doctor should have come up with something that's a little bit sexier if he wanted us to follow them." Phil nuzzled closer to the Techno's hand like a cat demanding pets. "Because those rules were just.... Shit." 

"You know, I feel like that's the attitude that resulted in us not having kids." Techno lightly swatted Phil's nose and laughed under his breath. "Just a thought." 

"Fuck off..." Phil answered with the eloquence befitting of the emperor of the biggest country in the world.

"No but seriously..." Techno interrupted the weirdly jokey moment. "Phil, I'm glad I met you in this life. I don't think there will ever be a day when I will regret choosing you."

Techno could distinctly hear the sound of Phil's heartbeat speed up against his back. 

"You're such a sap." Phil pushed his nose against Techno's neck, his breath hot on his skin. "For you the world." 

"For you the world Phil."