Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Fear

He’s pulled from the house, crying and begging

Determination

He won’t give in, no matter how many times they try to make him

Betrayal

He cries for his mother to help him, but she stands there jeering like the rest

Captivity

Hands hold his wrists above his head, his legs pinned so he can’t kick

Agony

He screams as pain rips through him like a hot iron

Repeat

--

It’s nearly morning when Chan finally breaks out of the prison his mind locked him in. He feels sick, like he could sleep for days, and has no idea where he is besides that he isn’t in his room. It’s oddly devoid of the usual sweet smell of Jisung’s roasted almond scent, or any scent besides his own peppermint for that matter. He slowly swings his legs over the edge of the bed and goes to stand when he notices he’s not on flat footing and hears a grumble.

 “OW! Get off of me kid.”

“Ah, sorry hyung.” He says a little too loud as he pulls his legs back onto the bed and into his chest. A light flips on and he is finally able to figure out where he is and how he just stepped on one of his caretakers. He is in Changsub and Hyunsik’s room - which explains the lack of scents - and in Changsub’s bed. The owner of said bed was now sitting up from his pad on the floor and rubbing his shoulder which Chan had tried to stand on. 

“I’m glad you finally woke up.” Hyunsik, who had lit the oil lamp on the nightstand, says as he takes a seat next to Chan.

“What time is it?”

“Eh, past midnight, that’s for sure.” Hyunsik shrugs. “How are you feeling?”

“I… not great. What happened? Why am I in your room?”

“Changbin and Yunho got into a fight and didn’t think about you or Jisung being in the room. Jisung was knocked out cold and you went catatonic.” Hyunsik explained. “Sungjae made the call to keep you in our room. Worked well cuz I could easily keep an eye on you. I think you actually fell asleep around eleven, that’s the first time you relaxed at least.”

“I feel like I haven’t slept in weeks.” Chan mumbles, looking down at his hands and imagining the hands that had held his wrists in his waking nightmares. He shakes his head lightly, trying to get the images burned into his mind out of the forefront. 

“That’s understandable. Are you hungry? Changsu-” he looks down and realizes the older nu has already gone back to sleep, and he gives him a soft smile. “I can go get you something. Or you can just go back to sleep.”

“I think some toast or something would be good. Can I go get it myself?” Chan wants to wander, walk around for a bit to try and get his head to clear.

“Let’s go together.” 

“I can go alone, really, go back to slee-” Chan tries to protest as he stands, but he can’t even keep himself balanced for a second and Hyunsik has to catch him. He smiles sheepishly up at Hyunsik, “Okay, maybe help would be good.”

Hyunsik helps Chan get to the kitchen in the central house without much trouble; though weak, the younger is able to get his balance sorted out by the time they get there. Chan stiffens just before they enter the house, he can smell all the lingering alpha scents but the strength of the white musk means that Yunho had been there recently. He pushes through the fear that tries to grab his heart and steps into the house before Hyunsik notices his pause. They’re surprised to see a lamp already on when they walk inside and one of the young alphas sitting at the table staring into a cup of untouched tea.

“Yunho, what are you doing awake?” Hyunsik greets the boy, causing him to jump. Yunho looks around and his eyes widen with worry when he sees Chan. 

“I couldn’t sleep. I’m sorry, I’ll leave, I don’t want to...” He stands quickly, stumbling on his words as he tries to flee the room.

“It’s alright Yunho.” Hyunsik says kindly, unsure why the boy is so frantic. 

Yunho looks between Hyunsik and Chan then down at his hands. His words are mumbled, shame filled. “I don’t want to make Chan hyung uncomfortable.” 

“Ah, Yunho.” Chan feels terrible making the alphas in their group worry about him all the time. He doesn’t want to be treated like a porcelain doll that’ll break at any soft poke, even if that’s just how his mind is right now. He uses the most convincing voice he can muster to try and console the younger. “I’m okay Yunho, please, stay. Why can’t you sleep?”

Yunho hesitates, looks to Hyunsik for a supportive nod, and then sits back down. Chan also sits at the table as Hyunsik goes to prepare some tea for them, but he can’t bring himself to sit directly next to Yunho so he sits across from him instead.  

“Do you normally have trouble sleeping?” Chan asks. He suffers from insomnia thanks to the dreams that plague him when he does sleep, but he’s never noticed anyone else consistently awake more than they should be. 

“No.” Yunho chuckles sheepishly. “I was just worried.”

“About me?” 

“Yeah… I shouldn’t have let Changbin egg me on. I never meant to hurt you, or Jisung. I’m so sorry Chan hyung.” 

“Aw kid, it’s alright. We’re all young, still learning, you didn’t mean to hurt anyone. I’m fine, I promise. Changbin’s a hot head, I’m sure it’s hard to stay cool when he’s blowing off steam.” Both laugh at that. 

“So you’re really okay? I don’t ever want to make it harder to be around us.”

“Really, Yunho. I’m happy here, and I know I’m safe. It’s not your fault. I promise.”

“Alright.” Yunho nods, a relieved look on his face.

Hyunsik is happy to see the boys talking. He’s tried to gauge Chan’s mental state ever since they took him and his friends in, but it’s been quite a roller coaster, making it hard to predict when he is and isn’t okay with alpha contact. But he’s a young adult, he probably knows his limits best, and Hyunsik is glad to see him taking control of the situation. He takes three cups of tea to the table, knowing Yunho’s has long gone cold, and sits, sipping on his own. 

They chat for a while, nothing substantial, just for Chan to relax and Yunho to calm down enough to sleep. When they head back to bed Chan stops outside Changsub and Hyunsik’s bedroom, turning to the elder in the dark.

“Hyung, I want to sleep in my room if that’s alright.”

“Of course, as long as you can handle it.”

“I can, I think I’m tired enough after everything to actually sleep and Jisung’s scent will help me.”

“Off to bed then.” Hyunsik gives him a smile and watches as he turns and blindly heads up the stairs to his and Jisung’s room. Chan enters the room quietly and changes into more comfortable clothes before sitting on his bed and breathing in deeply. He lets the mixed peppermint and sweet almond scents flood his senses, repeating to himself over and over that he’s safe and that Jisung’s scent is comforting. He’s startled when he tries to lay down and finds that Jisung is in fact not in his own bed but in Chan’s. None of his movements wake the other omega, and he thinks for a minute about what he wants to do. Finally, he decides to just lay down next to Jisung. He’s pleased to find his body reacting positively, relaxing and even becoming heavy in the night. 

He falls asleep quicker than he has since he was fifteen.