Chapter Text
Arthur wished he could say he was dignified in his retreat. He wished he could claim it was a glorious escape and reenter Camelot with tales of battle and leadership. However, in his mind, he knew he was taking the coward’s way out. He was fleeing, and he wasn’t even leading the escape, Leon was. Instead, Arthur was following another as they ran from a warlock who hadn’t actually made any moves to harm them, regardless of the fact that he had every motivation to.
Arthur slowed to a stop and turned back.
“Arthur, run!” Leon shouted back in panic as he grabbed onto his arm and began pulling him ahead. Arthur let himself be dragged for half a second before stopping again.
“No.”
“No? Arthur, he gave us a chance to run but that doesn’t mean he won’t follow soon. We have to escape while we still can.”
“Why didn’t the warlock kill us?”
“I don’t know. That’s why we have to leave before he starts to question it too.”
“No, I mean. The warlock had six of us, right? Why didn’t he kill one of us to use as an example and send it back to my father?”
“What?”
“Or cut off one of our fingers with the signet ring on it and send that back to Camelot?”
“Sire?”
But Arthur’s mind was spinning too fast to be interrupted. “And what about hurting us while we were here to make us fear him? Why the kindness and food?”
“He wanted us to trust–”
“What use would he have for our trust? I mean, he already had us right where he wanted us.”
“He couldn’t–”
“What? He couldn’t break into Camelot and take his mother back? I’m pretty sure he could, though. So long as he didn’t mind killing a few people, I’m sure a man with enough power to knock out six of Camelot’s finest knights in one blow, and a man who had the power to move walls without uttering a single spell, and a man who can make crops grow with a single blink and–”
Arthur’s rant was cut short as a scream echoed through the forest and the earth around them shook. Cracks began forming and, in front of Arthur’s very eyes, a wave of death began emanating from where the six of them had just been running. Trees blackened, bushes withered away and all manner of forest animals began fleeing. Before any of them had a chance, however, the wave of magic hit with full force and all Arthur could feel was an overwhelming pull of pain and loneliness. It was as if he himself had lost his family and he knew he was the one responsible. He felt guilty and hollow and, as he looked around at the world, he felt it was fitting that the forest’s life was sucked out of it like his life was. Was he even worthy of life at all, if this destruction was all he ever achieved, if–
Arthur shook himself and looked back to his knights. He knew that they were all feeling the same thoughts as he was. He also knew where those thoughts were coming from.
“Merlin,” he said aloud before he turned and ran back.
As he ran, cracks began forming in the earth’s surface. It was as if the ground itself was pulling apart. The sky began to darken and rain began pelting down. A scream echoed through the woods and, with it, lightning was pulled from the sky. It hit one of the many dead trees in the forest and immediately set it aflame.
Arthur was close enough now that he could hear every one of Merlin’s sobs and could feel the hairs on his arms rise with their accompanying lightning strikes. Arthur didn’t know if his knights were crazy enough to follow Arthur closer towards this volatile array of emotions and power, but before he had a chance to look back, he saw Merlin, and his gaze tunneled.
Years later, when he would tell the story, he would tell people that he was only running back to Merlin to stop the destruction of the forest. ‘ After all ’, he would tell whomever would listen, ‘ if Merlin wasn’t being such an emotional idiot, he would’ve burned the whole forest down and we never would have escaped .’
The truth, however, could only be seen in Arthur’s eyes the moment he found Merlin crumpled in on himself in the center of death and destruction. The truth that his eyes never strayed from Merlin as he jumped over another forming crater. The truth that he too began to cry when faced with the destruction of someone he cared about.
“Merlin!” Arthur cried out as he ran the final few steps and collided with the crumpled figure on the ground.
Merlin’s sobs stuttered as he glanced up seconds before being enveloped in a hug, a thing which Arthur would later claim never happened but the knights would tease him endlessly about.
Merlin didn’t speak a word though, he simply unwrapped his hands from himself and turned to grasp the shoulders of the only man who’d ever come back for him. He wept and wept and clawed his hands against Arthur’s shoulders. Arthur simply held him as his grief ebbed and flowed through his body. Being Merlin’s anchor in the midst of his literal storm.
Arthur stayed there for what was probably hours because, by the time the clouds began to dissipate, the sun was rising on the next day.
“Sire,” Leon spoke up from his place behind Arthur.
“Yes?” Arthur whispered, though Merlin didn’t so much as twitch in his arms.
“What is your plan?”
His plan? Did Arthur have a plan? What was he going to do with Merlin? Could he return to his father with his current doubts? Were his doubts worth causing a rift between him and his father?
“Do you have a plan?” Sir Vidor asked as he walked into Arthur’s line of sight.
“He’s not a monster,” Arthur said in a voice that was supposed to be a command, but instead sounded surprised.
“So what do we do?” Sir Radnor asked.
At this, Merlin straightened and pulled himself from Arthur’s grip.
“Merlin!” Radnor exclaimed, seemingly shocked that the warlock in Arthur’s arms hadn’t been asleep.
“Sorry about this. You didn’t need to come back for me,” Merlin said, eyes downcast.
“It’s not like we could have escaped with the earthquake and the lightning storm.”
“What?” Merlin asked and, glancing around, his eyes widened at the destruction around them. “Did I do that?”
“Well, it wasn’t Carldoc.”
“Oh.”
“Merlin, it’s fine. No one was hurt and–”
Before Arthur had a chance to finish, however, Merlin placed his hands on the ground and his eyes glowed gold. A spark of green lit underneath his fingertips and it was like watching the royal seamstresses add dye to a previously blank cloth. Color came flooding back into the grass and, within seconds, vivid green began spreading out and everything from the flowers to the trees seemed to regain their life instantaneously. Even the shattered ground seemed to reform itself at Merlin’s whim and, if Arthur had been stunned by the man’s destructive power, he was even more in awe of Merlin’s healing capabilities.
“How did you…?”
“I told you,” Merlin exhaled as his hands started to shake, “I’m kind of a big deal in the magic community.”
“When did you ever say that?”
“The druids didn’t want me to leave. They said it was too dangerous for me on my own.”
“I thought you said they just wanted you to be their farmer.”
“And the person who’ll–umm–” Arthur could see Merlin’s eyes begin to flutter close and wrapped his arms back around the warlock once more, taking away the space that Merlin had created upon awakening, “–bring magic back to–to Albion.”
“Big destiny.”
“Yeah.”
“Yeah.”
“I just, well, I just need to rest now.”
“Sounds reasonable.”
“If you are going to kill me, can you please do it in my sleep? I don’t want to be burned.”
It was only after Merlin asked the question that Arthur realized he could never kill Merlin. Merlin proved that his father’s view on sorcery was incorrect. He was the antithesis of evil and was currently laying in Arthur’s arms. Merlin was trusting him, even though Arthur’s father had killed his mother. Merlin had every right to turn to devastation yet, even in his darkest hour, he had still allowed Arthur, his knights, and the animals around them to run free.
“Why don’t you fight back?” Arthur asked.
“Well, I’m about to pass out and don’t really feel like killing the person who still has my tear stains on their shoulder.”
“No, why didn’t you kill us all when you found out your mother died?”
“Because then I’d be the monster you–you all feared me–to be.” Merlin’s speech was muffled and halted as he leaned forward into Arthur’s shoulder and, almost as soon as Merlin finished speaking, his breathing deepened. Arthur was sure he had to be sleeping now.
“Merlin?” Arthur asked just to be safe, there was no response.
“Your highness,” Sir Vidor began, “are you going to kill him?”
Arthur glanced up so sharply that Merlin’s head lolled to the side. Arthur carefully pushed Merlin’s head back into place, but Merlin’s breathing never quickened. “Of course I’m not going to kill him.”
“He used magic to kidnap you, sire.” Sir Owain said as he glanced skeptically between Arthur and the boy laying on him.
“He never hurt us.”
“He knocked us unconscious and kept us in the dark for three days.”
“He healed Radnor’s leg.”
“Merlin hasn’t harmed us,” Leon interjected, “so let’s leave him here. When he wakes he will return to his people and we will be halfway to Camelot by then.”
“He has no people.” Arthur countered angrily. “He left the druids and we killed his mother.”
“His mother was accused of murdering one of our own.”
“Which she didn’t do.”
“So you’re going to take the word of a known sorcerer over the decree of your father, the King.”
Arthur knew he should back down. He knew he shouldn’t cross his father to his father’s knights. Arthur may be the first knight, but that didn’t mean talking against his father wasn’t still treason. Still, he couldn’t stop the flow of words from leaving his mouth. “My father is blind when it comes to magic.”
“Your father is just.”
“Fine. Leave me then and return to him. I won’t be bullied into killing a person whose only crime is trying to help his family.”
“Your highness, I’m not proposing we chop off his head. I’m simply proposing we leave him to regain consciousness and fend for himself. We’ve seen his magic, he’s quite capable.”
“He’s unconscious as we’re yelling over his life right now! Do you really think he would survive for more than five minutes alone out here?”
“What do you propose we do then?” Leon asked, anger clearly getting the better of his usually calm demeanor. “That we bring a warlock into the heart of Camelot and get him treated by the court physician!”
“Why not?”
Leon scoffed. “Because that would be as good as signing his own death warrant. Your father wouldn’t ever allow a sorcerer into Camelot’s outlying villages, let alone the inner citadel.”
“We wouldn’t have to tell them Merlin’s magic.”
“And what, you think Merlin would prefer to wake up in the castle that sent his mother to death?”
“I think Merlin would like to wake up alive. Something we cannot guarantee if we leave him alone out here.”
“If we let him into Camelot, I cannot lie to the king.”
“We don’t have to lie, just tell him that Merlin helped us escape the cave. Merlin let us go in the end, so it wouldn’t be a lie.”
“Well then who would we say kidnapped you then?”
“We could say Emrys did. That’s what the gopher called him, anyways.”
“I don’t think we could–”
“If he doesn’t come back to Camelot with me, I’m staying out here with him. I’m not going back if he doesn’t come with me.”
Arthur,” Leon sighed, “I know that you like this boy, but–”
“I don’t–”
“Don’t try and deny it. I’ve seen the way you look at him. It was funny at first, but it has to stop.”
“I wouldn’t be staying because of–”
“Wouldn’t you? Because from the looks of it, this boy has bewitched you.”
“I’m not bewitched!”
“Arthur, how would you know if you are bewitched? You’re barely older than the boy in your arms. I know you like to think of yourself as a man, but you aren’t, Arthur, you’re just a boy who–”
“I’ve just had my entire world shattered in the span of a few days. I’ve realized that the horrible things I’ve watched and done were meaningless. If Merlin’s right, then not all magic users were evil by definition. Do you have any idea how many executions I’ve witnessed? You all can choose to avoid them if you want to but I can’t. I’m the crowned prince. I have to stand at my father’s side and stay still as my nose is filled with the scent of burning flesh and my ears ring with their cries. If they were innocent, than I can’t stand to watch another one of those stupid ceremonies. If I can’t have hope for a future, I won’t stay where I have none.”
“Your highness, I–”
“This isn’t some stupid love note to someone I’ve only known a few days. This is my life! If I can’t have Merlin to give me hope that, eventually, life will be different, I’m not going back. He said he’s destined to change all of Albion. I want that future by my side. I want to see the change he will bring.”
The forest was silent then. Birds were chirping, and the newly grown leaves were still rustling in the wind, but Arthur’s six most trusted knights were deathly silent as they stared at their future king.
It was Radnor who spoke up first, the newcomer who Arthur had despised in the beginning of this trip. Arthur couldn’t believe how much had changed in those few days, “Sire,” he said, “I will serve you in whatever change you strive to bring. You have my loyalty.”
Sir Radnor sank to one knee and placed his sword point first into the earth before him, a sign of honor to his king. A pose he had recently given to Uther, except now Radnor’s eyes remained fixed on Arthur. His gaze was firm, as if understanding this act of loyalty to the prince and the prince alone may prove difficult, but he was willing to brave the odds.
“You have my support as well, Arthur,” Sir Owain said as he too sank to his knees.
One by one, all the knights knelt on the ground in front of Arthur, pledging fealty not to a crown and not to Camelot, but to Arthur himself. These six knights were loyal to him and him alone. A daunting feeling for a twenty-year old.
“Thank you.” Arthur said with a nod. “Let’s get him back to Camelot.”
—------------
“Are you cooking?” Merlin mumbled as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes almost two days later.
“Merlin, thank god,” Arthur exclaimed as he turned his gaze from his meticulous evaluation of the stew to the warlock struggling to sit up.
“So you’re not cooking?”
“He was trying,” Sir Bertrand mumbled as he returned from gathering wood for the fire.
“The stew is being idiotic,” Arthur complained as he removed his stirring stick from the dented cauldron.
“The stew was being idiotic?” Merlin repeated as his eyes made a sweep around their hastily put together campsite. They hadn’t yet moved from the clearing and, as Merlin turned his head, he was greeted by the ruins of his cave prison.
“Yes. Now get up and fix it before we’re all forced to swallow poison.”
“Why?”
“Well, I know the taste buds of a peasant can be lacking, but a prince like myself has higher standards for food consumption and–”
“No. I mean, why am I not dead?”
Arthur set down the stick he had been using as a baton for the previous minute and went to sit on the mossy surface beside Merlin. The knights who had been previously keeping busy, situated themselves around the fire. Arthur and his men had set up several rocks and logs, so the group created a circle.
“You haven’t done anything wrong.”
“I kidnapped you.”
“You set us free.”
“I’m a warlock.”
“Yet, you aren’t evil.”
“I broke the law.”
“If you break the law just by existing, then the laws are wrong.”
That, finally, made Merlin pause. “What?”
“I said, the laws are wrong.”
“Why?”
“How many times have you murdered anyone?”
“I could have murdered you.”
“But you didn’t.”
“No.”
“So how many people have you killed?”
“None, I’m not a monster.”
“But I am.”
“What?”
Arthur folded his hands over his chest, “I’ve killed many people.”
“What you do in battle is self defense. It’s not murder if–”
“Lucinda Fale.”
“What?”
“She was 10 and set fire to her home.”
“I don’t understand, Arthur.”
“She was cold and her house didn’t have enough firewood for the winter. In an attempt to warm up her house, she set the entire place ablaze.”
“So she died?”
“No. My father was able to get everyone out.”
“So she's not dead?”
“She set her house ablaze using magic.”
“Oh.”
“My father locked her up in the cells until they were able to get enough wood for her pyre. I talked to her and she was so scared. She said it was an accident, that she never meant to hurt anyone.” Merlin looked away. “I asked my father if we could turn a blind eye this once and, do you know what he said to me?”
Merlin was silent so Arthur continued, “He said ‘We’re not killing a child, we’re killing what that child will become.’”
“Your father might have a point. I just destroyed a forest because I was a little upset.”
“And you mended it back together again! Magic doesn’t corrupt. It will protect as well as well as cause harm. I’m not saying that every execution I’ve witnessed was unjust. All I’m saying is that magic is a weapon, just like a sword. And if Camelot killed every child that wielded a weapon, I wouldn’t be alive today.”
“Yes but, Arthur, that’s different.”
“No, it’s not. Lucinda was innocent, and I watched her die.”
“You didn’t kill her.”
“I may as well have. I talked to her in those cells with the key in my pocket, and I never once even thought to free her.”
“I’m sure Lucinda never blamed you.”
“But that’s the point, isn’t it? She was pure. I refuse to kill warlocks, or even sorcerers, anymore without reason.”
“Not even kidnappers?”
“It’s a good thing you’re also the savior who got me out of captivity.”
“So, what? I’m just allowed to roam free again?”
“Well, about that–”
Merlin sat up ramrod straight. “I won’t be kept prisoner.”
“No!” Arthur exclaimed, backing himself away from Merlin quickly. “No, that’s not what I meant at all.”
“Then what did you mean?”
Arthur looked around at his knights, seeking approval. They all nodded in agreement, and Arthur spoke up again. “I wanted to offer you a position in the royal household.”
“I’m sorry, I must be hearing things, I thought you just said you wanted me to serve in Camelot.”
“You’re not mishearing anything.”
“How is that any better than immediate death? You do realize you’re asking me to live at the heart of a kingdom that kills magic users.”
“We wouldn’t tell Uther of your abilities.”
“Arthur, I’ve never once had to contain my powers. They’re as much a part of me as breathing. Why would I want to come to Camelot?”
“You said it was your destiny to bring magic back to Albion.”
“How does that have anything to do with Camelot?”
“I’d like to help you do it.”
“What!” Merlin turned his gaze from Arthur to the knights around the fire and saw no one else seemed surprised by this revelation. He looked back to Arthur. “You can do that? Just like that?”
“Well I’m not king yet, and I doubt that a kingdom founded on my father’s murder would succeed, but eventually, I’d like to do that, yes.”
“I’m sorry, I’m just–woah.”
“I would need to gather solid proof and reasoning for my actions. I would need the future laws to be well thought through and planned. It’s not like I can pardon all magic. After all, if magic is used to murder someone else, it’s obviously being done maliciously and deserves some sort of punishment.”
“So I would just be your advisor?”
“Advisor and protector. It’s come to my attention that my knights and I are useless against magical attacks.”
Merlin smiled. “And how did you discover this?”
Arthur grinned in return as some of the tension eased from his shoulders. “I don’t know if you’ve heard, but I was recently kidnapped by a warlock?”
“Oh really!”
“Yes, his name was Emrys. He was truly terrifying. It’s a good thing a passing peasant named Merlin was able to get us out.”
“He must be quite the hero.”
“He’s average. I’m sure mighty Prince Arthur would’ve been able to get himself out eventually.”
Merlin grinned and opened his mouth to retort before he paused and seemed to reconsider his statement. “I doubt magical defense and advisor are current job descriptions within the Pendragon household.”
“No, but servant to the crowned prince would be.”
“And be forced to clean up your dirty laundry every day? No thanks.”
“It’s a privilege!”
“It’s dirty laundry.”
“So you’ll come with me?”
Merlin stared at the surely burnt stew as he seemed to weigh the pros and cons in his mind, his head tilting back and forth as if holding a conversation with himself. “Very well,” he agreed. “I’ll come back with you.”
“So you’ll be my servant?”
“You should also add, ‘making-sure-the-Prince-doesn’t-behave-like-an-absolute-clotpole’ as one of my many job descriptions.”
“How about ‘teleporter-of-knights-who-want-a-meal-not-made-in-the-forest?’”
Merlin sighed with a grin on his face. “How about ‘teleporter-of-lazy-sods-who-haven’t-walked-a-foot-from-their-prison-since-they-escaped?’”
“What? And drag you along with us? You’ve been sleeping for nearly two days straight. You have no moral high ground.”
“I just regrew an entire forest! Do you have any idea how much energy that takes!”
“Don’t destroy it in the first place then.”
“Why did I ever agree to serve you?”
“Admit it, Merlin, you love me.”
“Never.”