Chapter Text
[An upbeat jingle that sounds vaguely threatening begins and overlays the entire commercial]
[A feminine voice begins speaking]
Voice; “Do you need a dose of anti-toxins for the month? Do you feel unsafe but can’t find any stores with the heavy weapons you need? Well, look no further! Here at M.U.R.D.E.R., we’ve got all that and more!”
[There’s a very loud bang that sounds like fireworks... kind of]
Voice; “M.U.R.D.E.R., or Materials Undermining the Risk of Death, Endangerment, and Ruination, has whatever you need for defending yourself against rogues, plants, and the terrors of the night. We got Wayne patented gas masks, anti-toxins, knives, axes, shovels, and more!”
[A louder bang, it's still unclear if it's fireworks or not]
Voice, sped up; “All Rogue defense packs are available regardless of whether or not that Rogue is no longer active. You must show I.D. at check-out. Gas Mask Sizes come in extra small to large, as well as smaller sizes for children. For a special fitting call 111-111-1111 to schedule a WayneHealth and Tech fitting. All fittings free.”
[A third, louder bang, followed by screaming. It is not clear if the screams are terrified or excited]