Chapter Text
Toki was on cloud nine. Not only did he get to perform in front of the largest crowd he’d ever seen in his life, but he got to do it with his brother, and his new best friends!
Was a shame about William, but the guy seemed to not want to be here to begin with, so maybe for the best to let him go. He was sure they’d find someone else.
When everyone filed back into the green room, he found Skwisgaar still in the corner, frantically sketching in his notebook. Toki went over to him and curiously peered down into the book, “Whats yous doings?”
“Workings on your looks. If this is the news bands, and that the news sounds, we must remake the entires wardrobe.” He sounded frazzled, “Less sparkle, mores brutals.”
Toki put his hand on the page, blocking Skwisgaar’s pencil, “Sh, you can works on that laters. Now Pickle says is the afterpartys!”
“Yes, for the bands. Not fors me.” Skwisgaar shoved Toki’s hand away, “Go ons, haves goods times.”
So, Toki took the book with him, sticking it in his jacket pocket, “Nu-uh, is for yous too! Come ons, will be funs.”
“I don’ts likes parties.” Skwisgaar replied bluntly.
Abigail appeared next to them, jacket unbuttoned and a drink in her hand, “Hey, we’ll work on the new wardrobe bright and early in the morning. You probably shouldn’t work on it now anyway, get some rest first.”
Skwisgaar tried to complain, but she kept going, “Toki, why don’t you take Skwisgaar somewhere quieter,” The green room was already getting quite rowdy with the others drinking and chatting, “It is true that he doesn’t like parties, but I think we need to force him to relax.” She smiled and winked at Toki as Nathan called her away, “You two go have fun.”
“You gots it!” Toki gave her a thumbs up, who was he to deny the request of a nice lady like that?
Before Skwisgaar could protest, Toki pulled him out of his seat and took him out of the green room, not before snagging a random bottle from the replaced rider. He took a bunch of turns, and eventually they ended up backstage with all the instruments. Toki pushed over a large crate, making a bench for them.
He twisted the cap off the bottle and took a swig, it was vodka. Really good vodka.
“Oh, you haves to tries this!” He proclaimed.
Skwisgaar reluctantly took a tiny sip and nodded, squeezing his eyes, “That ams straight vodka Toki.”
“I knows! Is the expensives kind!” Toki took the bottle back and drank some more.
“Ams more of a coffees person.”
“Irish coffees?”
“Noes, just coffees.”
Toki pouted, “Yous no funs Skwisgaar.”
“Yous too youngs to understand.”
“Ams nots!”
Skwisgaar laughed dryly, “Tries me. How olds ams you?”
“28!” Toki replied sharply.
“Ohs, sures you ams not babies, but still yous has not experienced the worlds.”
Toki folded his arms, setting the bottle down between them, “You don’t knows anythings about mes and how much worlds ams experinced.”
“I knows enough to sees you are cares free silly goobers who sings about evils shits because you’ve never faced real struggles so you makes up your owns with demons and bullshits.” Skwisgaar replied, too exhausted to hold back, “Ams worked with manies celebrities just likes yous, its ams all a façade, yous ams just happens to be unique to me, it ams fastkinatings.”
This hurt Toki in a personal way, and he was reminded that his new friends really did not know him at all. Maybe it was the fresh buzz from chugging a quarter of a bottle of vodka, but Toki was suddenly feeling really talkative about stuff he usually didn’t share with others.
“I ams likes this because I cans be, but I haves seens plenty of the worlds to know the darkest, cruelest places. I plays the musics I does to takes controls of my destiny.” Feeling warm, Toki stood up and threw off the sparkly jacket, angling himself to expose his scarred back to Skwisgaar, as he threw the garment to the side, “Ams happies for the first times in my lifes, and I won’t let some dildos shits like you ruins that. Just because you’ve givens up on happiness doesn’t means we all haves to.”
“Toki, I didn’t knows…” Skwisgaar replied softly.
“Yeahs, maybies think twice before making asumpk-tions!” Toki took another shot of vodka.
He considered just leaving, but he also remembered the nice time he’d had with Skwisgaar previously. He didn’t want to ruin that over a single argument.
“Now that ams shared somethings about Toki, tells me somethings about yous.” He flopped back down on the container beside Skwisgaar.
Skwisgaar groaned, but complied, “Fines. What does you wants to know?”
Toki shrugged, “Somethings darks. Haves you ever seens a murder?” His eyes went wide.
“A murders? Tokis, stops it. No I have not seens a murder.”
“Well you talks so bigs about seeings the world, thought you mights have seens death or somethings brutal like that, is parts of the world toos! Runke has… Ah, neverminds that’s for him to says.” Toki cut himself off, just because he was spilling his own guts didn’t give him the right to spill his brother’s too.
“Looks, I don’t know what you’s looking for, but I’ve justs beens working in fashions and modeling since I knew how to walks in a straight line or holds a needle and threads. First, helped my moms with it, now I does it myself to pay off our debts. I have, ah, many childrens to pay fors. No rests for the wicked, ja.” Skwisgaar responded, hands waiving to accentuate his words.
Toki honed in on this, noticing that even in silence, his fingers were grasping around for something to do, worrying the edge of his suit jacket or tapping on his knees, never still and wanting for the notebook back. His features were severe, but what Toki saw on that pale, nearly grey face was more than just genetics. Skwisgaar’s eyes were sunk deep, his skin almost patchy.
This was a man in a state of constant panic.
Toki recalled a time when he was just as restless, constantly afraid and searching. Runke and his fellow metalers had saved him, given him not just a home, but an outlet for that energy alongside with ways to recharge, and Toki saw an opportunity to repay that favor.
“You says you never plays guitar before?” Toki asked, tone brighter.
Skwisgaar scoffed, “No times for dumb hobbies like thats.”
“Guitars is not dumbs!” Toki shouted, then pulled himself back in. This wasn’t the basement of Drep du Selv, he had nothing to prove, no need to get so defensive so fast, Skwisgaar wasn’t going to judge him poorly for showing kindness, or at least he hoped as much. “I just means, I think it’s a very enrite… imvrich… Enrichintings activity.”
“Wells, yous are goods at it, so you’d thinks so. Ams founds purpose ins my works for a whiles, is goods feelings. Don’t loose it, Toki.” Skwisgaar looked haunted.
Toki smiled thinly, “Was not always goods at it, everyone has to learns. Here.”
Once again, he got up from the crate and went over to the instrument racks, looking through the dozen guitars and finally settling on one, a Les Paul painted a bright golden hue. Toki picked it up by the neck and carried it back to Skwisgaar, “Stand up.”
“What?”
“Stands up, am goings to teach yous guitars.”
“Rights now?”
“Rights now. Do it or I’ll stands you ups for yous.” Toki threatened, flashing his teeth.
Skwisgaar did as asked, pushing himself up with a grunt. The man really was nothing but skin and bones, and Toki felt a pang of sympathy, even if the torture was self-inflicted in this case.
“Looks, am stangings. Now whats?”
Toki slung the guitar strap over Skwisgaar’s shoulder, letting the instrument settle at his waist, “How does that feels?”
“Heavy and stupids.”
“Goods, because you ams heavy and stupids too, so you and the guitars are the same!” Toki chimed.
Skwisgaar awkwardly wrapped his long fingers around the neck of the guitar, “So lets gets this over withs, what does I dos?”
“Well, you can lets go with lefts hand for now, firsts ams teach you to strums,” Toki went back to the guitar rack and picked up the one he’d used earlier for the show, then returned to stand in front of Skwisgaar while wearing it backwards to help Skwisgaar be able to mirror his movements easier, “So holds your hands like this, and…”
It took a few tries, but eventually Skwisgaar could pluck the strings well enough that Toki felt comfortable moving onto the fret board, “There’s a lots of notes in theres, but for nows am just going to shows you a chord you cans play that sounds pretty.”
Skwisgaars’ first attempt was far from beautiful, “Hm. Ams tries again,” He said, attempting it over and over until the sound was clean enough.
“Not bads! You knows a bit of guitars now, wowie!” Toki beamed, “Is stupids still?”
Skwisgaar played the sequence of notes again, “Yes… Shows me another chord.”