Chapter Text
Penny was feeling pretty nervous, but honestly what else was new?
She’d been looking at herself in the mirror in her room for far too long already and what was the point? She wasn’t magically going to look how she wanted to. Logically, she knew it was a process and it was going to take a while for her outside body to match her inside body.
But emotionally, that’s just bullshit. It was absolute garbage and she was mad about it.
She reached up and tugged at her hair, as if pulling on it would make it grow faster. It was actually the longest it has ever been, coming down to just past her ears, but it still wasn’t long enough to do anything with and she wouldn’t know how to style it even if it was. Her hair liked to curl at the ends but it was frizzy all over and every morning she woke up with a rats nest on her head that she had to spend an increasing amount of time brushing out.
Then, of course, there was her clothes.
Her entire wardrobe was just boy clothes. She didn’t hate them! She really loved her science pun t-shirts and her jeans were just baggy and worn enough to be comfortable. She didn’t to get rid of them, she just wished she also had… other things.
Nice things.
… pretty things.
But she didn’t have any money to buy new clothes and she didn’t feel comfortable asking Tony for new clothes because she already had plenty to wear. Right?
What difference would it really make anyway.
It didn’t matter right now though because right now, in this moment, there was nothing she could do about how she looked, no matter how much she wished there was. Right now, she had bigger problems.
Ned was coming over.
To the tower.
Penny was going to tell him about her. That she was now a she and not a he.
She knew Ned was a good guy but they had never specifically talked about this subject and so she didn’t know, with complete certainty, that he would be cool about it.
She was about 95% sure he would be, and yes, some might say that percentage was high, but that last 5% really fucked her up in the past every chance it got. Who’s to say it wouldn’t do so again?
Ned was her best friend. They’d known each other since the second grade. They shared everything and he’d been there for her through all of it: her uncle dying, the spider bite, all the injuries she got while learning how to fight, May... She couldn’t lose him. She didn’t even know what she would do without him. They were about to start high school together. They had managed to get into the same advanced STEM school and they were going to be locker neighbors!
She anxiously tugged at her shirt, tucked her hair behind her ears, hated it, untucked it, still hate it. Ugh!
“Hey, FRI?”
“Yes, Penny?”
“When Ned gets here, can you go back to using my old name and pronouns? Just until I tell him, I mean.”
“Of course, little Miss.”
Penny rolled her eyes at the nickname. “Did Tony tell you to call me that?” she muttered.
“I’ve been asked not to reveal my sources.” If an AI could sound smug, FRIDAY had it down to an art. Not exactly surprising considering who her creator was.
She sighed but inside she knew it was futile and simply accepted her fate.
She cast one last glance in the mirror before deciding this was as good as it was going to get for the time being and turned on her heel, walking out of the room and just about stomping her way into the living room. She threw herself down onto the couch with a huff and crossed her arms.
There was no reason for her to be so nervous, right? It was Ned!
It was hard telling Tony that first time. Almost sent her into a full blown panic attack, but he was wonderful.
It was difficult telling Pepper, no matter that she did it in a more indirect way, but Pepper was also wonderful. In the two weeks since she came out the second time, both of them had been so supportive.
And as it turns out, it was actually easier to come out the second time. Not by much, but still.
Ned would be good about it, too… right? There was no real reason to think he wouldn’t be except for her stupid anxious brain.
“Penny, Ned Leeds is in the elevator and will be here in approximately one minute and thirteen seconds.”
“Thanks FRI.”
Oh god, it was happening. He was here. She’s gonna be sick.
“Ned’s good. He’s my guy in the chair. He won’t care about this. He’s a good boy.” She said quietly to herself, repeating it over and over as many times as she could before the elevator dinged and the doors slid open.
She stood and turned around, looking down the long hallway that lead into the foyer where the elevator opened up and waited for Ned to come out.
And waited.
And waited…
What the hell?
It was just as she started making her way to the lift when a wide eyed, open mouthed, shocked into silence head poked itself out of the doors.
“Oh. My. God.” Ned breathed out, cautiously taking a few careful steps out onto the floor and turning in a slow circle where he stood. “Oh my god, dude!” Ned looked around the floor in wide eyed wonder, turning in circles every few steps as if he might see something new on the next spin.
Penny tried to hold back a grin but really, why bother. This was so Ned and she was so glad that Tony and Pepper weren’t here to see it so she could just appreciate being in the same room as her best friend for the first time in months.
She didn’t even realize how much she missed him. She’d been so caught up in her own grief and then in the fear and uncertainty of coming out to the adults who wanted to adopt her, that the bone deep ache and loneliness of not seeing Ned for so long was just put on the back burner.
Now though, it was front and center, and as Ned was looking in every corner and giving a running commentary on how awesome it was, she felt her eyes start to sting a little because wow, she really missed this.
“Peter, this is so cool, dude! I can’t believe Mister Stark lets you hang out here alone! Do you have your own lab too?! Is that an X-box?! Oh my god please can we play IronMan’s X-box?!! I would literally die!” when he didn’t hear a reply after a few seconds, Ned turned away from the gaming set up and finally took a good look at his friend. It was a testament to their friendship that he didn’t even hesitate to walk over and wrap his arms around her, patting her strongly on the back a few times before leading them both over to sit on the couch.
“Hey, I’m sorry man, I got a little caught up - ”
“No! No Ned, it’s fine, it’s not that…” she said as she swiped a finger under her eyes to catch the stray moister there. “I just missed you.”
Ned smiled, throwing an arm around her shoulders. “Aw, I missed you too, Peter.”
Penny was surprised when she had to hold back a wince. For the last two weeks, she’d been called ‘Penny’. She’d gotten so use to it that hearing her old name, her dead name, was kind of jarring. In a shocking turn of events, hearing Ned use her old name actually made her more determined and slightly less nervous about telling him that she’s trans.
“Does mister Stark let you hang out here a lot? You never told me where you went after… after May. Are you okay? Like, are your fosters treating you okay?” Ned leaned forward and put his elbows on his knees and clasped his hands together. Penny could tell by his furrowed brow and the way he was biting his lip that this had been weighing on him and she felt like a trash friend for not keeping him more in the loop.
“Actually,” she began, slowly. “Umm, I’m – this is my foster home… Mister Stark and Miss Pepper decided to foster me.”
Ned’s eyes just about bulged out of his head. “You-,” he started, stopped to pull in a gasping breath, looked around the room one more time and Penny could imagine he was checking for the cameras (which, there were plenty, but not as part of a joke) before his wide eyes landed back on Penny. “… You lie.”
“Swear to god.”
“Nuh-uh.”
“Uh-huh.”
“No way.”
“Yes way. Very much way.”
For a second Penny thought Ned might be about to hyperventilate. She made the executive decision to not tell him about the adoption just yet.
“Oh. My. GOOOD!! Peter!! How are you not screaming right now?!!”
Penny laughed and sat back on the couch. “I already got all my screaming out, but you feel free.” And scream he did. He even jumped up and started bouncing around in excitement and what kind of friend would Penny be if she didn’t join him?
They jumped and yelled and ran around in circles like a couple of two year olds and it was the best Penny had felt in a long time. Eventually, they ended up back on the couch, out of breath and enjoying a moment of peace.
Penny looked over at her friend, and felt her stomach tie itself up in knots again but at least it didn’t feel as tight as they did earlier.
It was time. She had to tell him if for no other reason than he deserved to know.
“Ned?”
The boy looked over at her from his slouched position, a bit of a dopey smile on his face.
For a second, her voice failed her. The knot in her stomach became a lump in her throat that was almost impossible to talk around.
“I… I’m trans.” She whispered it, in the end.
Ned started at her, face frozen first in confusion, then in surprise.
He was quiet for a while and Penny gave him the time to process, even if it was killing her on the inside.
Already this wasn’t as bad as it could have been but it also wasn’t as good, either. She didn’t think she had ever seen Ned be this quiet. She kinda wished he would just say something whether it was good or bad.
Finally, after several very long minutes, Ned adjusted himself where he sat and settled a little deeper into the cushions. “In what direction?”
Penny could only stare. What?
“… What?”
“Well, like,” He raised his hand and gestured to all of her. “Is this your final form or are you like a baby Pokémon and you still have to evolve?”
That was probably the funniest thing that Ned had ever said to her and she was dying. Dying.
She could not breath, she was laughing so hard. Her stomach hurt for a whole other reason now. She laughed until she cried and very nearly fell off the couch. The relief from his reaction was so strong, she could have kissed him.
Of course he didn’t care. Of course his first instinct was to compare her to a Pokémon.
When she could finally open her eyes wide enough to see again, she saw his happy little smirk and knew instantly that he was teasing her. She kicked him in the side, making him double over and sending them both into another giggle fit.
“I’m a girl you dumbass! Not a Pokémon!” she yelled as she wiped down her face with her shirt.
“Okay! But for the sake of the argument, if you were a Pokémon, which would you be? Dibs on Magikarp!”
“Magikarp?! Why?”
“Because it might be useless at first but when it evolves, it turns into what is basically a water dragon and you know how much I like those.”
“Fair. Okay, uh, I guess I would be an Eevee, because then I could evolve into whatever I wanted.”
She finished much quieter than she started, suddenly feeling shy and she couldn’t really say why. Ned was being just as great as Tony and Pepper, and this time it was a whole lot easier to say it but it still felt so personal. It still kind of felt like something she should hide.
Ned just smiled, though. “So, are you still Peter?”
“Penelope… or Penny, if you want.” She shrugged, trying to come off as nonchalant but knowing instantly that she missed the mark and landed closer to timid instead.
“She/her?”
“Yeah.”
“Cool… so can we play with the X-box?” and that was that.
They spent the rest of the afternoon playing video games and Penny gave Ned a tour of the place and showed him all her favorite spots. He asked if they could swim next week when she showed him the rooftop pool and she of course said yes, not thinking until much later that maybe she should have asked permission first.
Ned left before the Starks got back from work and on his way out, he gave her an extra long hug. They didn’t have to say anything else.