Chapter Text
"We've been gone for almost four days and we still haven't made it to the coast. If that doesn't say something about you and your great directions I don't know what does."
Blake pulls on a pair of sunglasses. "Check the map. We only got a couple more hours."
"The map," Adam parrots, "You mean the thing you so had to have but obviously didn't use this entire trip."
Blake smiles. "Just relax. Once we get there you can have your tequila on the beach that I know you been dyin' for."
Adam pumps his fist. "Yes!"
"But you know I'm not much of a water person."
"We don't have to stay forever. Just one night. At least give me that."
"One night," Blake repeats. He can feel Adam bubbling with excitement next to him, and he's already vowing to himself not to drink like he did at the casino. He'll let Adam have the fun this time.
Blake glances over to see Adam with his phone pressed up against his ear.
"Who're you callin'?"
Adam pulls the phone away. "James. He called me last night and I missed it."
Blake nods, and then reality smacks him square in the face. Living life on the complete opposite side of the country is easy when they can forget that they both have very demanding lives back home. It's hard to think about now, out here with an east coast breeze rolling in through the windows and Adam kicked back riding shotgun, but sooner or later they'll both have to face the demons in their lives. He feels a pang of sympathy as he steals a couple glances at Adam on the phone with his bandmate.
"Everything okay?" Blake asks as Adam pockets the phone.
"Yeah, great. He was just wondering where the hell I was."
"I'm sure I made things hard on you, I know you left without sayin' much to anybody."
"We've already been over this. It's not like you dragged me out here against my will. I agreed to come."
"I know."
"So forget about feeling sorry for me or yourself or whatever, and let's have a fucking good time."
Blake smiles, Adam's optimism growing on him.
"Besides, we'll be on the beach soon. Saltwater makes everything better."
***
Blake doesn't know how he ended up here, at a resort right on the beach with a balcony view of the pool and bar area sitting at the ocean's edge. He promised Adam they'd stay the one night, and although he knows Adam will push it he's definitely holding up his end of the bargain. As he stands on the little balcony and looks out at the warm late afternoon day he doesn't know how much longer he could stand to stay here and still retain some sort of masculinity.
He wishes he were still in the woods.
Back inside Adam walks out of the bathroom, wearing a pair of Hawaiin-themed trunks. Hideous, yet somehow attractive.
"What the hell are you wearin'?" Blake asks.
Adam throws him the finger. "Better question is, what are you wearing?" His eyes scan over Blake before settling on his face.
"I told you. I'm not a water person."
"There is no way in hell you're going down there in jeans and cowboy boots. I will not allow it."
"What are you, my mother?"
"At least put on some shorts and some other kind of footwear." Adam digs through his suitcase for the items.
Blake eyes Adam's back, the elaborate new tattoo stretching across its entirety. Adam straightens up and Blake shifts his gaze to the clothes in his hands.
"Here." He hands Blake a wadded up pair of shorts and flip flops.
Blake tries one shoe on for size, and hears Adam chuckle as he tries to wedge it onto his foot.
"Fine. Then you're goin' barefoot."
Blake slips into the bathroom to change. He's trying to get a grip on himself, the crazy tricks his mind is playing on him. But no promises are being made on what feelings will stir up inside him when he sees Adam shirtless, wet, covered in sand, and a little bit drunk.
"Hurry up!" He hears Adam snap outside the door.
He's surprised that Adam's shorts fit him relatively well, other than being shorter than a heterosexual male's should be.
"Nice," Adam says when he walks out. "Now spin around, let me see."
"You wanna check me out?"
"I'm just trying to give you some much-needed fashion advice so you don't stick out like a sore thumb. You should be thanking me."
Adam leads the way to the lobby. It’s quiet, peaceful even, and for the first time Blake thinks that this might not be such a terrible idea.
"I haven't been to the beach in years," he admits as they walk side by side to the water.
"You live in L.A. half the year, there's a beach right at your feet. Sounds like you're the one who needs to get out more."
Blake smiles. He deserved that one.
The South Carolina day is hot but welcoming. Blake picks a spot in the sand away from the serious sunbathers and families with small children as Adam rents an umbrella and two chairs. They set them up, then Adam kicks off his flip flops and heads for the water. He keeps walking until he's waist deep, then dives underwater, comes up and shakes his head so that his hair is sticking up in every direction. He turns around and motions for Blake to join him.
"Think I'll stay here!" Blake shouts back.
"Get in here, you big freakin' hillbilly!"
Blake sighs and reluctantly heads toward him. Adam splashes an armful of water on him as soon as he gets close enough.
"You've just been dyin' to do that, haven't you."
"Now do you wanna take your shirt off?"
Blake looks down at himself, the water soaking through his shirt and plastering it to his skin. "Not really."
"Come on," Adam whines. "I'm not judging you or anything, if that's what you're worried about."
Something inside of Blake snaps. "I'm not worried about anything, Adam, I don't want to." He sets his jaw and keeps his eyes on Adam. They'd been over this before.
Adam's smile fades and he blinks. "Okay."
Blake's anger is quickly replaced with embarrassment. "I'm sorry," he mutters. He turns and trudges back toward the hotel, not pausing when Adam calls his name or when curious beachgoers stop and stare at him.
***
"You in here, buddy?”
Blake sits upright on the bed. "Yeah." The door to their room opens and Adam walks in.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm just—"
"Not a water person. I know." A pause. "I wasn't trying to make you uncomfortable out there."
"It's nothin' you did."
"Then what is it?"
"You know I don't ever go shirtless in public."
"I know. I just thought you'd be okay, you know, with me."
Adam sits next to him on the bed, too close, their skin nearly touching and Adam's is still wet and hot and Blake realizes this is doing nothing to make his situation better.
"I just don't want you to miss out on opportunities."
"Opportunities to humiliate myself?"
"No, to enjoy your life. To not give a fuck what other people think."
Adam's right, and Blake hates himself for feeling this way. He hates feeling so aesthetically inferior to Adam that he throws temper tantrums and sulks instead of spending time with him.
"I've never seen you shirtless, and I don't know how much of the world has, but you have nothing to hide. You’re hot as fuck, Blake.”
The last part catches him off guard, and he wonders if Adam really meant it or if he was just trying to make him feel better.
Adam stands up. "I'm not going to sit here any longer and let you talk down on yourself." He grabs Blake's wrists and pulls him off the bed. "Now, we're going back out there, and you don't have to take your shirt off, but you do have to have fun. Got it, cowboy?"
Blake can't help but crack a smile. "Got it."
He finds some comfort in the fact that Adam seems highly interested in seeing him half naked.
***
The scent of Adam's margarita fills the air around them, mixes with saltwater and wet earth, and for the first time since being here Blake feels completely at ease. He sucked up his insecurities and did just as Adam said, had a damn good time, and now the two of them are reclined on their beach chairs, watching the water stained red from the setting sun lapping up against the shore. Most of the people have gone in for the night, leaving only the most dedicated beachgoers and the couples hoping to have a romantic evening to themselves. It's perfect, in a way, different from anything Blake ever imagined himself loving but he knows this trip has already changed him.
"Wanna sip?" Adam asks. He waves the glass under Blake's nose so that he has no choice but to accept. It's sweet and rich, leaving an unforgettable taste on Blake's tongue.
"Damn." Blake licks his lips and Adam finishes off the rest and sets the glass aside.
"Told you. You want one?"
Blake watches the tattoos on Adam's torso twist as his body bends. "It's too addicting."
Adam smirks. "All the more reason. Come on."
They take seats at the tiki hut bar. The smell of alcohol becomes overwhelming, and Blake lets it soak in. God, how he's missed it.
Strands of lights strung up overhead swoop down from the rafters, softly illuminating the empty bar. One catches the light in Adam's eyes perfectly whenever he looks at Blake, making Blake wish he'd look his way more often.
Once Blake catches him staring, and Adam quickly darts his eyes away, looks down at his hands, his drink in them, Blake can't tell, and does it so as to pretend like his eyes never wandered to Blake, but Blake saw it, saw it written on his face in that split second before he turned it away. The bartender brings them another drink, and as they both reach for it at the same time their hands gently brush. Blake swallows, feels a heat creep to his cheeks, then Adam snatches the drink and his hand is gone.
"Too slow." Adam's eyes are twinkling behind the glass at his lips.
A breeze flows in, fluttering Blake's shirt against his chest and gliding across his hot skin.
"Wanna take a walk?" Blake asks, and Adam nods. Blake pays the tab and they wander down the shoreline, ankle deep in water chilled by the night air.
Adam kicks up a toe-full of wet sand, aiming it at Blake's leg.
Blake skirts out of the way. "You're such a child."
A jellyfish catches Adam's attention, and he stops to study it, Blake watching from a few steps back.
"Careful," Blake warns.
Suddenly Adam makes a squeaking sound followed by a string of curses, and he reels backward and collides into Blake's chest. He knocks the wind out of Blake, but Blake grabs him to keep him from falling.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah," Adam answers, but instead of pushing away, Adam hangs onto Blake, his hands wrapped tightly in his shirt, their stomach's flush up against one another's so that Blake can feel his heart beating fast. He gently places a hand on Adam's bare waist and looks down into dark eyes.
For a second it looks like Adam thinks about kissing him. He’s staring at Blake's mouth, as if at any moment he could stand up on tiptoe and brush their lips together. Blake's never felt those lips. He bets they're soft and maybe taste like tequila.
Then Adam isn't holding onto him anymore. He's a few feet away, looking at Blake but this time at his eyes and not his lips, and Blake feels like a part of him was ripped to shreds even if there wasn't anything there to rip to start with.
"Um, sorry.” Adam blurts out, his cheeks flushed pink.
So Blake isn't imagining things. There was something there, even for a second, a spark that neither of them can deny. Then reality comes crashing down on him. They’re both straight and he’s married. Dammit.
But what's he supposed to say? That he doesn't give a shit? That he wanted to kiss Adam for real in that moment?
Adam tears his eyes away, looks down at the water. "We scared away the jellyfish, at least."
Blake attempts a laugh, he doesn't really know why, it's forced and strangled with the feelings he's holding back.
Adam starts meandering down the beach again and Blake follows a second later, pretending nothing happened, trying to erase it from his memory. It's probably for the best, anyway.