Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Part 1

The warm, velvety scent of hot chocolate drifts out across the downtown corporate commons. Kara smiles at the festive reminder of what today is, and picks up her pace to the coffee cart situated outside the offices of CatCo Worldwide media. It’s an every day stop on her way to work; a necessary morning ritual made a little sweeter by the time of year. The holidays are fast approaching, and everyone in National City seems to buzz with cheerful anticipation.

“You’re here early,” Sam Arias, one of the other senior reporters on staff at CatCo calls out. She turns with her latte, smirking. “Don’t think it’s going to do you any favors. It’s a random drawing.”

“Hey to you too, and no, that’s not why I’m here early,” Kara shoves her friend gently. “Large hot chocolate please. Extra whipped cream.”

The barista nods.

“‘Tis the season, huh?” Sam jokes. Kara collects her change and nods. She can hardly contain her smile, even if she wanted to, which she doesn’t. How can she when Christmas is weeks away and there’s fresh hot chocolate in her hand?

“It’s the best time of year!” Kara exclaims. She retrieves her beverage and inhales deeply, closing her eyes and letting the chocolate scent wrap around her. It’s an instant cheerful calm, just the way she remembers from when she was younger. She sighs and opens her eyes, only to be met by Sam’s curious frown. “There’s just something about the holiday season, you know?” Kara says, shrugging. “It’s magical, even now. It’s like anything can happen.”

“Infinite possibilities,” Sam agrees, her voice wistful. “Yeah, I hear that.”

“When I first got here -- as a kid --” Kara hesitates slightly, but Sam’s eyes soften. Kara continues. “The holiday season was always such a happy time. The happiest I can remember feeling, which was a big deal back then. I’d see the trees and the lights and everyone was just in a good mood all the time. They’d actually go out of their way to be nice to each other. It reminded me that no matter what was going on, everything would eventually be okay.”

“That’s beautiful,” Sam says, smiling. She takes a sip of her drink and nods. “Ruby loves the holidays, too. Sometimes I get all wrapped up in the craziness of it all, but whenever I see her smiling I’m reminded what it’s all about.”

“See? You get it,” Kara says. There’s a small twinge of sadness that knifes its way between her ribcage, but she pushes it aside. “Hang on, why are you here so early? I thought you usually drove Ruby to school.”

“Oh, I’m definitely here to be first in line to pick my secret santa,” Sam says seriously. “Random or not, I can’t risk it.” She grins, and Kara rolls her eyes. The two turn and make their way toward the office.

The lobby of CatCo is already bustling with activity, even at the early hour of 7am. Kara and Sam make their way toward the elevator, dipping through small crowds and dodging people yelling into cell phones when a flourish of movement catches Kara’s attention. She glances over just in time to see a sharp looking woman in stilettos marching through the lobby, clacking across the tile floor with authority. Her face is drawn into a scowl as the sea of people around her immediately part.

“There she goes,” Sam says, checking her watch. “Right on time. She probably didn’t even go home last night.”

They stop and stare as Lena Luthor, current senior manager of business operations, strides on by looking terrifying and important and too busy for her own existence, all at once. Kara swallows the inexplicable lump in her throat. She always seems to get tongue tied whenever she tries to put actual words to the person they’re staring at. If she could, she’d write a thousand word editorial on her bone structure alone, because there’s really no other way to do it justice. And that’s just her face.

To put it plainly: Lena Luthor is more of a concept than a real person; a fantasy conjured by the most creative imagination. She can hardly be considered real, the way she materializes from thin air, always piercing and fabulous with a sharp jawline and an even sharper wit. Her intellect is beyond human capability, her net worth beyond comprehension, her entire persona beyond...everything.

Or at least, that’s what Kara’s heard. She wouldn’t actually know because talking to Lena Luthor is another thing entirely. As in: it hardly ever happens, and when it does, Kara’s always so surprised by it that she has to stop and convince herself that a conversation even took place. Not the best formula for getting to know someone.

Lena Luthor is complicated. She’s cloaked in rumors, her entire existence a veiled departure from reality. Supposedly, she comes from a notorious and stupidly wealthy family, but despite the whispers and suggestions constantly swirling about business interests and scandal, she manages to remain intensely private. Kara doesn’t even know what part of town she lives in, or where she likes to go for lunch. She doesn’t know her favorite tv shows, or if she has a favorite book. Normally, she wouldn’t obsess about learning these kinds of things, but Lena is just someone that makes everyone wonder. Kara has always found her fascinating, mostly because of the air of mystery, but also because of something else. Something Kara isn’t quite sure of, exactly. Maybe it’s the way she never seems to leave the office, the light burning away on her desk at all hours. Or maybe it’s the way she always seems to know the right thing to say, at exactly the right time, to command a room and make everyone take notice.

Whatever it is, there’s just something about Lena that draws her in, and makes Kara want to know everything .

“Think she’ll actually participate this year?” Kara asks curiously, as she watches the way Lena furiously taps at her ipad while she walks through the lobby. She doesn’t look up, except to briefly press the elevator button before returning to her work.

“Doubtful,” Sam says, shaking her head as she stares after Lena’s retreating form. The elevator doors close, hiding her from view. Sam turns back to Kara with a frown. “She’s not much for celebrating.”

“Such a shame,” Kara replies. She can’t imagine why someone would want to actively avoid holiday parties, but then again, Lena Luthor is far from ordinary. “She just seems so...lonely.”

“That’s one way to put it,” Sam says, grinning. “Or uptight and impossible. I’ve known Lena for a few years now. She’s sweet, but she’s just not into the whole socializing business.”

“You got through to her, though.”

“Yeah, but I’m me,” Sam chuckles. “And besides, we’re only close enough to be considered acquaintances. Now when I walk in a room, she actually smiles and asks me about my weekend. That took several agonizing semesters of grad school and 4 long years at this job.”

Kara rolls her eyes. She wants to say that her friend is being modest, but there’s part of her that isn’t so sure. Maybe Lena really doesn’t open up, even to someone as friendly and kind as Sam. Sam Arias is one of those people that everyone adores, in that annoyingly perfect ‘has her life together but is still real enough to make you feel accepted’ kind of way. There’s not a soul around who could badmouth her, so the fact that Lena can keep her at a distance is enough to make Kara wonder. What chance would she have to break through that thick of a wall if Ms. Personality herself can’t do it?

“Kara! Can I borrow you for a minute?” a voice calls out from behind where Kara and Sam are standing. Nia Nal, one of the cub reporters comes racing up, notebooks scattered in her arms, a semi-panicked look in her eyes. “I was hoping you could take a look at these notes before I dive into this piece.”

“Of course,” Kara smiles, reaching to offer a steady arm. A notebook gets thrust in her free hand, with Nia looking on sheepishly. Nia is bright, eager, and extremely intelligent. Cat Grant herself selected her to be Kara’s mentee, and for good reason.

“See you up there,” Sam says, tapping Kara’s shoulder and offering a parting smile as she heads to the elevator.

Kara pushes all thoughts about holiday cheer and Lena Luthor out of her head, but not before taking one last look at the elevator that brought her elusive coworker upstairs.

“Let’s see what you’ve got written,” she says, giving Nia her full attention. “I bet it’s great.”

Xx

Lena Luthor.

Kara runs her fingers over the sharpie marker lettering of her enigmatic co worker's name. This can’t be right.

She twists the paper slightly between her fingers, half expecting it to disintegrate before her very eyes.

Lena Luthor.

Even her name is too elegant to stare at too long.

The CatCo annual holiday party is 6 weeks away, but today is the official secret santa drawing. Kara has been looking forward to it for months, scheming and plotting for the perfect gift to dazzle whoever she should pick. She’s lucky, because most of her coworkers are also her close friends -- and the past 2 years she’s participated, she has always known exactly what to do.

Until now.

She stares up at the ceiling, searching for answers like they will reveal themselves in the plaster. All of her planning, wasted. Every list she’s made for potential recipients, irrelevant. Never in a million years does she expect Lena Luthor to participate in something as commonplace as a holiday party, and yet, here she is with the piece of paper to prove it.

“Alright, do we all have our secret santas?” Cat calls out, holding an empty glass bowl. Everyone nods. “You’ll have 6 weeks to get inspired. Remember, it’s not about what you celebrate, so spare us the particulars. This just gives you a chance to get to know your coworkers a little better. And Mr. Schott, let me take this time to remind you that I will not have the fire department on call so perhaps we can stick to store bought cheer this year? Thank you.”

“What?” Winn whispers, turning to Kara. “That’s no fun!”

“Hm?” Kara asks, still distracted by the piece of paper burning a hole in her hand.

The flowing alliteration of letters wink back, daring her to come closer, luring her into something she can’t pull away from. Kara shakes her head in disbelief.

She folds the piece of paper quickly and shoves it in her pocket, trying to hide the supreme panic she’s sure is showing on her face. It’s fine , she tells herself. Breathe. Her sister Alex looks over with a quizzical arch of her brow and Kara tries to match it with a firm smile. On her other side, James and Winn seem preoccupied with their own selections, while Sam and Eve chat quietly to each other. Everyone else is apparently in high spirits with their choices. Kara glances across the room just in time to see Lena Luthor herself, lips pursed into a soft snarl, folding a piece of paper in her hands. She doesn’t look at anyone, or stop for idle conversation. Instead, her face is impassive as she turns abruptly away on her louboutin heel.

Kara’s heart sinks. She has somehow succeeded in picking the one person in the whole office that she knows the least about. And it isn’t for lack of trying. It’s just that no one knows anything about Lena Luthor. Between her workaholic tendencies and penchant for avoiding social gatherings, she isn’t necessarily what Kara would consider “approachable”.

Fortunately, despite Kara’s inability to articulate actual words when they’re in close proximity to each other, Lena is perfectly cordial and polite whenever they do cross paths. It’s the only thing that makes this secret santa business a tiny bit less daunting. The few times Kara has seen Lena around the office -- typically in the copy room, or occasionally catching an awkward elevator together, or sharing space together for team meetings -- Lena has been kind and charming in a surprisingly soft way. It’s just that those have been very limited interactions, and never, ever beyond the office.

Kara, on the other hand, along with Sam and their other coworker Eve, is part of the culture committee at CatCo, in charge of planning social events and coordinating team building activities for employees throughout the year. They try to come up with engaging excuses to get everyone together outside of the office. Kara thinks it helps ease stress and gets everyone to bond, while Sam jokes that it’s a way to drink on CatCo’s dime. Either way, they all agree that it makes the office fun, and it makes the relationships among coworkers more than just office formalities. But neither wine tastings nor cooking classes have been enough to get Lena Luthor to let loose and join the group.

Kara slinks back to her desk, trying to wrack her brain for how she’s going to handle the next several weeks. Her outlook calendar chimes with a reminder for an all-hands meeting.

A meeting that will include one Ms. Lena Luthor.

“Perfect,” Kara mumbles to herself. She’s hardly got her wits about her and now she’s actually got to be face to face with Lena and not fall apart. She gathers her laptop and notes, determined as ever to figure out a plan.

She steps into the office and notices there’s only one other person there. Because, naturally, that’s just how today is going to go. With a quick clench of her jaw, Kara decides she has to start somewhere .

“Hi Lena!” Kara forces a smile as she walks over to where Lena is sitting, typing away at her laptop. She takes a moment to be proud of the fact that her greeting has come out confident -- strong, but not too forward.

“Kara, how are you?” Lena replies. She slides her glasses up so they sit on her head and turns herself toward her. Her green eyes patiently fix on Kara’s, as she tilts her head like she’s studying something.

“Good! Great. Busy, you know,” Kara chuckles nervously. Lena makes her name sound so-- expensive . The vowels roll off her tongue and get carried off on a perfectly formed cloud of elegance, with the tiniest hint of an accent that Kara can’t quite place. The lapse in conversation begins to stretch, which doesn’t do anything to help bridge the gap of their nonexistent relationship. Kara feels the way her words seem to be slipping and she immediately regrets coming over at all.  “Did--did you get your secret santa?”

Kara knows the answer to this, but she’s starting to panic and -- and have Lena’s eyes always been so green? She’s still getting over the way Lena says her name and now she’s trying to remember if she’s ever seen Lena’s eyes up close before. It’s all too much to process.

“I did,” Lena nods with a sly smile. The way her eyes track before settling on Kara’s, almost like she’s staring through her, is unnerving. “Did you?”

“I did!” Kara replies quickly. Lena waits, so Kara continues. “So... does this mean you’ll be at the party?”

“I suppose that’s exactly what that means.”

She doesn’t offer anything more, instead just staring at Kara, curiously attentive to anything else she might want to ask. Kara gulps.

“Great! Well, that’s great. It should be fun,” Kara says. She catches herself nodding enthusiastically, and she imagines she looks like a cartoon character. She stops and stares.

Cat strolls into the room a few seconds later, silently putting Kara out of her misery. She is pretty sure she’s never appreciated her boss more than right at this moment. She turns to take her seat, stopping as gentle fingers fold around her wrist.

Kara turns as Lena leans slightly closer, her eyes narrowing with a bit of a sparkle in them. “Looking forward to it,” Lena says softly, with the faintest traces of what Kara can only assume is a smile across her lips.

Kara smiles back, probably too enthusiastically, but she can’t help it. That went well , all things considered. Not perfect, but not a total disaster. If she keeps this up, she’ll be finding the perfect Christmas gift for Lena in no time.

At least, she hopes.

Xx

“Wait, you’re kidding, right?” Alex asks, glancing over Kara’s shoulder. Kara startles, immediately folding up the piece of paper with Lena’s name on it. She turns and glares at her sister. “Lena Luthor? Well, good luck with that .”

Alex comes around and leans against Kara’s desk, throwing her an amused smile that makes Kara extra infuriated.

“That’s not helping,” Kara groans, leaning back in her chair. “How am I supposed to find out what to get for her in six weeks ? We’ve all worked together for several years and I only know, like, her name.”

“Well that, and the fact that her perfume probably costs more than both our rents combined,” Alex offers, chuckling.

“Did I already thank you for being so helpful?” Kara tosses a balled up piece of paper, smiling when it hits her sister between the eyes.

“I am helpful!” Alex argues, crossing her arms. “You’re not going to be able to afford anything she wants anyway, so why not just get a gift card for the spend limit?”

“Oh, how thoughtful.”

They sit in silence for a few moments. Alex knows her sister is going to obsess over this for the rest of time, so she can either choose to help her now, or get roped into doing something ridiculous later. She glances at Kara again, shaking her head when she sees the crinkled lines on her forehead which she knows is a classic Kara sign for fretting.

“If only you could find a way to ask her what she wants for Christmas,” Alex says a few minutes later, thinking out loud more than actually offering anything substantial. “Without actually asking her.”

She knows she’s stating the obvious, but Kara’s eyes widen as she stares at her computer.

“Alex, that’s it!” she cries out. She begins furiously typing, while Alex stares dumbly over her shoulder. Once the account is set up, Kara turns the screen to her sister. “Done!”

“Another e-mail address? What’s that for?” Alex asks.

“You’re a genius! I’m going to use it to figure out what to get her for Christmas. To ask her without actually asking her,” Kara explains, peering through the glass doors into Lena’s office. Lena is heads down, all business, her forehead furrowed as she studies her laptop. She looks intense, almost angry, and Kara wonders what has her about to put her fist through her computer.

“That’s not what I--”

“No it’s perfect!” Kara glances back at Alex. She wants to convey the importance of this without going into a whole proclamation about how special the holidays are to her. Instead she settles with, “I want it to be perfect.”

“And you can’t just get a simple gift basket and call it day because…?” Alex asks, frowning.

“Because it’s Lena!” Kara exclaims. Her eyes automatically dart back to Lena’s office, where she is still oblivious to the fact that she’s the topic of extracurricular conversation. “Because it’s Lena,” Kara says again, softer this time. “I want her to have something special. I just feel like she could use it.”

“You take your secret santa duties very seriously,” Alex says, her eyebrow raising. “Where was this effort when you drew my name last year?”

“Oh, come on! You loved your gift! That’s not even fair!”

“And you can’t just try to get to know her as you?”

“No!” Kara argues. “She’ll know immediately that I’m her secret santa and then it’ll be ruined! This way, I can still be me, without being… ya know. Me.”

“Great. So, what are you going to do if she finds out?” Alex asks, smirking slightly like she just knows how this is going to go.

“Why do you always think of our glass as half empty?” Kara asks, annoyed that her sister immediately thinks this is going to blow up in their faces. This is all for a good cause, Kara reasons to herself. Besides, it’s only for six weeks.

How much can happen in six weeks?

“She’s not going to find out,” Kara declares, turning back to her laptop to finish setting up her new e-mail account.

“If who finds out what?” Sam interrupts, walking over with a goofy smile as she leans on Kara’s desk.

“Nothing!” Kara immediately exclaims. Sam’s eyes narrow in her direction.

“Oh come on! Is this about secret santa? Who do you have?” she asks, nudging to take a look at Kara’s screen. Kara shuts her laptop with a loud thwack.  

“I can’t tell you! It’ll ruin the surprise! Don’t you guys have work to do?”

“You’re no fun,” Sam complains. She turns to Alex with a grin. “Alright, alright. But I’m just coming over to remind you guys about dinner tonight. 7pm at that tapas place downtown. You’re still coming, right?”

“Definitely,” Alex replies, running her fingers through her hair. Kara smiles at her older sister’s nervous habit despite herself. She knows Alex has it bad for Sam, and she’s fairly confident it isn’t one-sided. She hopes the two of them realize it soon so she can stop trying to interfere. She’s already attempted  to set them up without them knowing on more than one occasion, but they’re both too oblivious for their own good and Kara only has so much time in the day.

Especially now.

“Yep,” Kara casts another look at Lena’s office, before returning her attention to Sam. “We’ll be there.”

If she’s lucky, this holiday -- a time already known for magic and wonder -- will bring about some much needed changes in her life. Before she begins to pack away her things and close up for the night, silently, Kara makes two wishes: first, one for Alex, that she can finally take the leap to ask Sam on a proper date and get the happiness she so desperately deserves. And one for herself, that she’ll be clever enough to get some much needed answers about the one person in the office that constantly eludes her.

Who knows, she may just make a new friend in the process. ‘Tis the season, after all.

Xx

As soon as she gets home from dinner, she sits on her couch and fires up her laptop. Her apartment is small and cheerful and comforting, which are all the things Kara loves about the holidays. Currently, it’s the perfect combination of deck the halls and silver bells, with soft white lights twinkling from their carefully hung position around her window and dishes filled with candy canes placed in intervals around the space. A poinsettia plant sits front and center on her dining room table, the rich red leaves vibrant and wine-kissed. Her Christmas tree is off in the corner and even though it’s small, with a makeshift skirt that Alex contributed from a pile of discarded clothing, it makes up for it in personality. There are a few ornaments -- all sentimental, either trinkets from trips or gifts from friends -- that adorn the branches. Kara loves them all because each one comes with a story. She grins as she stares at the one from Sam -- “In Metropolis they hail taxis, in Napa we hail cabs!” -- given to her after a trip to the wine country.  All of it comes together under a star that sits perched carefully at the top, a cherished family heirloom, with an engraving that resembles an ‘S’ in the middle.

Despite living alone, Kara decorates her loft as soon as remotely acceptable -- sometimes before then, if she’s able -- bringing out her holiday kitchen accessories and swapping her door mat for a santa and reindeer replacement. It’s a way to be close to her favorite things; it’s a way for her to be reminded of the things she used to have once, practically a lifetime ago.

These are the nights she misses her family the most. Her parents might still be out there, somewhere. They sent her away when she was only 10 to get her out of the war torn and ravaged city of Krypton, on the other side of the globe, an entire world away. She didn’t want to go -- she remembers her mother’s somber face and the way her father told her to be brave. It was a horrible age to be pulled from everything she had ever known, because she was too young to really understand, but too old to act like she didn’t. She wasn’t sure what was going to happen to her, or to her family, but she knew she had no choice. There wasn’t much time to think things through, because it all sort of happened very quickly after that. She was supposed to stay with her cousin, who had already relocated here, but she never made it to him. The details get fuzzy from then on, with huge gaps in her memory. All she can remember is an explosion, and fiery violent heat. Then dark, black, nothing.

When she woke up in a hospital, Dr. Eliza Danvers told her the plane crash happened weeks ago and she was lucky to be alive. Eliza was patient, and gentle, and she nursed Kara back to health, and then eventually back to herself. When it was time to be released and she realized she had nowhere else to go, Eliza took her in.

She has a new family, now. Only they aren’t really new. She’s been with the Danvers longer than she was ever with her real parents, she realizes. She thinks about Eliza, with her brilliant mind and kind smiles; overprotective but only to the point of making Kara feel safe. She thinks about Alex, her idol, her partner in crime, her best friend; the older sister she never knew she wanted -- who hated her back then -- but who aligns herself so fiercely with Kara now that their rocky start seems like a great work of fiction. They managed to make her feel welcomed and loved, so much that she almost forgot the pain.

She almost forgot to be lonely.

The holidays are a great reminder of everything she is thankful for, but even though it brings her the most joy, it comes with a solemn price. There is always going to be something missing, and Kara feels it with every smile, and every Christmas carol she sings. She feels the hole inside her heart, and even though it’s smaller now as the years have gone by, she knows it will never be the same. The only way to truly heal is to show love and gratefulness to everyone around her: to shower them with hope and give them a reason to keep believing.

It’s why finding the perfect gifts for the people in her life are about so much more than material possessions.

She crosses her legs and burrows into her cozy sweater as she begins to compose a very important email. She stares at the screen for what feels like hours before convincing herself that this is a good idea. What’s the worst that can happen? Lena either rejects it completely, or doesn’t respond. She’ll never know it’s Kara, so even if it flops, there will be no real consequences. Kara will just be reduced to prying information about Lena from Sam.

That doesn’t seem so bad.

She stares at her message again. Should she ask more questions? She erases a few lines. Probably not. It’s better to be concise. She feels like Lena would appreciate that.

She thought talking to Lena through e-mail would be easier, given that she could actually craft her responses, but this is proving to be just as challenging. Nothing ever seems good enough.

Finally, she re-reads her short and sweet little message for what feels like the hundredth time.

[email protected]: Dear Lena: What are some of your favorite things? -Your secret santa

Kara erases it again, her finger slamming the backspace key with authority. This is stupid. Alex was right, this is going to blow up in her face. A gift card isn’t the worst idea for a secret santa gift.

But then she pictures Lena, opening a card in front of the entire office, with a generic acknowledgement of the holidays -- one that says, “I ran out of time and this is all I could do” -- and her stomach sinks.

“Ugh, whatever, I’m just going to do it,” she mumbles, re-typing the message. Before she can talk herself out of it, she presses send, exhaling fully as she does. Good.

Then, her actions sink in. She immediately closes her laptop in a complete state of panic. Her heart hammers in her chest. She’s way too nervous at the prospect of a response, and too excited at the idea that Lena might actually take the time to craft one. She can’t just stare at her inbox all night waiting for acknowledgement or she’ll absolutely lose it.

I really just did that , Kara thinks, the alarm bells going off in her head urgently. She leaps off the couch and begins to pace, going back and forth between congratulating herself and wanting to disappear. She pulls a container of ice cream from the freezer and pries open the lid so forcefully that it pops up and falls to the ground. She grabs a spoon and starts stabbing into the hardened ice cream, not bothering to wait for it to warm.

Her phone dings 20 minutes later, which causes the spoon and the carton to fall to the floor with a clatter. Kara yelps as she reaches for her phone with shaking hands, afraid to see who the message is from.

[email protected] Re: Favorite things: Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens.

She reads it several times, just to make sure she’s not going crazy.

“I don’t get it,” Kara mumbles to herself. She puts her phone down and picks the ice cream carton off the ground. How would someone pick that as their favorite thing? Does she want a cat? Flowers...that are wet? None of it makes sense, and while she’s happy Lena replied, she has no idea how to even proceed from here. Not to mention that on top of it all, she’s now got ice cream all over her floor. What a waste.

She cleans everything up and takes a screenshot to send off to Alex with the only caption she can come up with -- a detailed “??” --  before throwing herself back on the couch in exasperation.

Her phone chimes.

Alex: Oh my god. Those are lyrics from the sound of music. Pretentious much?

Kara: It’s from a movie?

Alex: Yes - google the song. Not that it’s going to help you whatsoever.

Kara: Thanks.

Kara quickly finds the song and listens to it in its entirety. One time, two times, a third just to be sure. She can’t understand the meaning, exactly. Well, no. On the surface, she gets it. A few of her favorite things. The song itself is beautiful, with a strange kind of melancholy undertone. She just doesn’t understand why Lena picked it to reference. Is it a clue? Is she playing along? Is it a joke?

Is she only toying with me, hellbent on torturing me further?

The last one is a bit dramatic, Kara admits. She doesn’t know much about Lena, but she doubts she’s the torturing type. Sam once let it slip that Lena’s name is on the children’s wing of the hospital that she had Ruby at, which is fascinating. Kara is pretty sure it isn’t just money that put it there. Of course, it could be, but Lena just seems… more genuine than that.

Kara stares at her blank e-mail response and watches as the cursor blinks patiently back at her. She wants to be witty. She can be witty, if she tries. She’s a journalist, for heaven’s sake. And a damn good one. She pulls up the lyrics to “My Favorite Things” and nods confidently before starting to type.

“You want to play games, Lena?” Kara asks out loud, grinning as the words begin to flow. “I can do that.”

She hits send.

[email protected]: I’m more of a cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudel fan, myself.

A few minutes later, her inbox shows a new arrival.

[email protected]: I admire your due diligence, santa. Alright. Since ponies are a bit above the price range, I’ll make it easy for you. For Christmas, you can get me a planner.

Kara frowns as she fires off a quick reply.

[email protected]: Practical...but not very festive.

[email protected]: What can I say? I’m a bit more Scrooge, a bit less Mr. Cratchit.

This one Kara knows. She smiles as she types.

[email protected]: Yet you’ve seen all the movies…

Lena replies just as quickly.

[email protected]: Busted.

“I’ll learn about you yet, Lena Luthor,” Kara mumbles to herself, closing her laptop. “Just you wait.”

Xx

At first, she thinks it’s a joke. A spam e-mail that somehow got through her perfectly coded filter. In fact, it shouldn’t have gotten through her filter, which is just another thing she’s going to have to fix later. But somehow, the e-mail snuck through, and somehow, she isn’t entirely convinced that it’s fake.

Subject: Favorite Things.

Lena reads it several times, just to be sure. Who could possibly want to go through this extra effort -- for her ?

This is the first year she’s decided to actually participate in one of Cat’s ridiculous office traditions. Sure, she’s thought about it before, but Lena much prefers to keep her business and her personal life separate. As far as she’s concerned, the two should never, ever interact. If her brother’s mistakes have taught her anything, it’s that there needs to be separation. Layers. A person needs layers. She can’t be the same version of Lena to everyone she meets, or she will be vulnerable. The consequences of the wrong person getting too close, knowing too much-- it could be disastrous. But if she wants this promotion…

She sighs. Cat Grant plays hard ball, she’ll give her that. It’s one of the reasons why Lena has stuck around so long.

“I need you to show me that you can be a team player,” Cat had said, pulling her into a 1 on 1 meeting. “You’re the top candidate for VP of operations, but you need to show me that you care .”

“Cat, I care about this job more than anything,” Lena had argued. “You know this. CatCo is everything to me.”

“I never said anything about the job,” Cat said, rolling her eyes. “Lena, your work ethic and brilliance is hardly the question. What I need to see from you is your heart . Show me who you are. Show your coworkers they can count on you. You need to be more than a boss, you need to be a human being.”

Lena scowls at the reminder. She’s not a robot. She has feelings. Just not feelings she cares to share with everyone, thank you very much. But Cat has challenged her to do this, and well, that’s one thing Lena can’t back down from.

It’s how she got roped into this secret santa thing in the first place. She’s not big on holidays; parties and gifts and traditions seem like huge wastes of time. But then again, maybe if her family resembled normalcy in any sense of the word, she would find the season jovial, too. But she doesn’t. So, in a way to show herself to be empathetic and not like her family, she is trying something new.

She just never expected to fall into this .

“Alright, secret santa,” Lena says, typing out a response. “I’ll play along with your game.”

Xx

Kara expects that talking to Lena this way will be like pulling teeth -- that she’ll have to needle and pry to come up with just the right combination of delicate and precise in order to get somewhere. But Lena is...surprising. Once again, Kara is unable to wrap her mind around any concept of Lena Luthor. Every time she thinks she knows how she will react or respond, Lena seems to do the opposite. In this case, it works in Kara’s favor, as it seems like Lena rather likes the idea of secret santa -- at least enough to entertain it. To entertain her . Kara smiles at the thought.

There has to be a catch, Kara thinks. There’s no way Lena is actually down to Earth and approachable, right? But the fact remains that in a single night, Lena has already typed more words than she has ever spoken aloud to Kara in all the time they’ve worked together.

When Kara wakes up, she groggily grabs at her phone, first to shut the alarm and then to check through all the updates she may have missed during the night. It’s true what Cat always says: the news really never sleeps. As she paws clumsily to unlock it, the little notification badge by her other e-mail account instantly jars her more fully awake. She blinks away all traces of sleep and sits up straight, her heart pounding. It could be spam, she tells herself, trying to talk herself down. But she knows . It’s weird, the feeling she has in her gut, but there’s just an undeniable tug that Kara doesn’t question.

Sure enough, there’s a message from Lena, completely unprompted, sent at 4:30 AM.

Kara smiles in spite of herself. Either Lena doesn’t sleep, or Kara’s messages were the first thing on Lena’s mind this morning.

[email protected] : I find it incredibly interesting that you went through all this trouble to make an e-mail address just for a secret santa exchange.

She doesn’t expand beyond that, but Kara knows her plan is working. Lena is curious about her now -- well, not her, exactly. Not Kara Danvers the way Lena would actually know her. But still, it’s definitely something.

Kara ponders briefly before coming up with a response.

[email protected] : Well, it’s like Ms. Grant said - it’s a chance to get to know your coworkers! And I really want to get you something for Christmas that you’ll actually like.

[email protected] : I already told you what to get me, so that part is easy.

[email protected] : Then I guess we’re at the ‘getting to know you’ part. :)

[email protected] : I guess we are.

Kara glances at her watch and startles, realizing she’s going to be late. She scurries around her apartment grabbing clothes in a rush as she dips into the bathroom to get ready. When she finally arrives at work, disheveled and only ten minutes late, she opens her laptop and tries to think of something else to say.

She drums her fingers along her desk, her mind blank and decidedly un-clever. She wishes she had coffee. In her rush this morning, she completely forgot to get some.

[email protected] : We’ll start with something easy. How do you take your coffee?

Kara leans back in her chair, satisfied. An easy question, and hardly invasive. But it’s absolutely a tidbit of information she should know about someone. Especially someone she works with. She thinks about all the times she’s seen Lena around the office, and how she’s usually carrying coffee cups in various stages of consumption throughout the day. There’s no way someone that addicted to caffeine doesn’t have a preference.

[email protected] : Black, always. You?

Kara sighs.

[email protected] : Again, practical, and not very festive. Is that a theme?

PS - I really love lattes. The sweeter the better.

“So, how goes the super sleuthing?” Alex asks, sneaking up behind Kara and causing her to practically jump out of her seat. Her sister has a nasty habit of appearing without warning, and even though she should be used to it by now, it always catches her off guard. Especially when she’s distracted. Kara is usually really good about hearing things -- Winn and Sam always tease that she’s part dog for her unusually perceptive ears -- but Alex somehow manages to weasle around undetected. She fumbles to switch browser windows quickly, before turning to face her sister.

“Alex! I swear, one of these days you’re going to give me a heart attack!”

“It’s too easy,” Alex laughs, patting Kara on the shoulder. She comes around and leans against her desk. “So? Clearly you’re busy with something. ”

Kara flashes a proud smile and nods. “As a matter of fact, I am! And you thought I couldn’t be an investigative reporter.”

“I never said that!” Alex protests. “I just said you weren’t particularly stealthy.”

“Same thing,” Kara scoffs. “How does it feel to be proven wrong?”

“So you already know what you’re getting her?” Alex raises her eyebrow, unconvinced.

“Do you guys ever work?” Sam calls out, coming around the corner with a tray of coffee. She hands a latte to Kara and a coffee to Alex.

“You’re the best ever, and I mean it,” Kara says, grabbing the cup gratefully.  

“Oh, wow, coffee, thanks Sam,” Alex says, tentatively grabbing hers. “H-How’s that story coming along?”

“The one you asked me about an hour ago?” Sam teases. Alex’s face flushes but Sam just smiles. “No status to report. I’m hoping the coffee will kick it into gear.”

Kara watches their awkward exchange and smiles. Alex is always so put together, so tough and strong and confident, that it’s funny to watch her melt into a puddle around someone. People don’t make Alex nervous. If anything, she makes them nervous, with intimidating scowls and words that bite a little more than they should. But something about Sam softens her up, and makes her timid and overly aware of herself. It would be nice for Alex to have someone like Sam -- someone who can definitely challenge her, but who can appreciate Alex’s softer side. Kara knows Sam would get a kick out of Alex doting on her, but she’s also fairly confident Sam would do plenty of doting on her own.

Alex clears her throat and Kara realizes no one is speaking. She hurries to interject. “I think my sister means to ask how you’re doing, but, you know… words are hard,” Kara suggests. Alex flashes her a death glare -- one that seems to suggest ‘you’re one to talk’ - but Kara just brushes it aside by pretending to adjust her glasses.

“I’m doing great,” Sam replies, scrunching her nose at Alex. “Thanks for sort of asking.”

“Well, I’ve got -- things--” Alex mumbles, hastily retreating. “Meetings and things. So many meetings.”

“Enjoy your meetings,” Sam says cheerfully. “And things.”

“You too,” Alex replies. “I mean, I will.”

Once Alex is out of earshot, Sam pivots and turns her attention to Kara. She runs her fingers through her hair before glancing over her shoulder once more, verifying that the coast is clear. Kara waits.

“So your sister,” Sam starts, slowly. She fumbles through some papers on Kara’s desk, vaguely glancing through them, but Kara isn’t convinced she’s really paying attention. She looks back at Kara with emphasis. “She likes motorcycles.”

“And guns,” Kara replies lazily.

“And guns,” Sam repeats, nodding before the words catch up to her. “Wait, what?”

“I’m kidding,” Kara chuckles. “Well, sort of.”

“Define ‘sort of’,” Sam says, her eyes narrowing.

“In her previous life, Alex was in the army,” Kara explains. “She was part of the special forces. The cool gadgets were probably her favorite part of the whole thing.”

It was all her favorite, Kara wants to say. But she doesn’t. She’s probably said too much already. Alex’s former occupation isn’t a secret , necessarily. Just something she doesn’t talk about much with people she isn’t really, really close to. And Kara knows Alex would have her own explanation and version of events that she’d want to tell Sam about.

Her sister would have continued down the special forces path probably forever if it wasn’t for a nasty injury that shook her up and sort of knocked her whole life off course -- or on, depending on perspective. Either way, the down time forced her to consider the future, which Kara admits she’s selfishly thankful for. Not that Alex isn’t strong enough for the army. On the contrary, her sister was the most badass special agent out there. But Kara always hated the idea of losing someone else that she considers family, more than she liked the pride of witnessing Alex’s success.

When it was all said and done, Alex had decided to take a step back; to pivot her career plans into something a little more sustainable. She admitted to Kara that what she wants most out of the future is to be a mom. And, in recognizing that, she also recognized that her current job of choice wasn’t the most conducive for that to be her life.

Kara remembers vividly the nights Alex spent agonizing over her decision, lamenting over consequences and wishing for an answer. But ultimately, she couldn’t deny what she already knew, and that was how much it would mean to her to raise a child. Kara feels a pang of guilt, because she knows she’s had a heavy influence on Alex’s decision. Her sister saw firsthand everything Kara went through without her family, and she’s convinced it’s why Alex feels the need to choose a career path that is a little safer, a little more guaranteed.

She doesn’t want to be in a situation where her child will be forced to be alone, like Kara.

“She never mentioned that,” Sam says softly, shaking her head. Kara brings herself out of her thoughts and studies Sam’s reaction, appreciating the fact that she seems almost impressed. “Guess that explains the special assignments.”

Kara nods, the pride warming her chest. When Alex finally made her decision to leave the army for good, Kara had tried her best to help her land a job. When she mentioned Alex’s skillset to Cat, her boss took an immediate interest in bringing her sister on as a special correspondent. It doesn’t come without a little risk, but Kara knows her sister could never turn that part of herself off completely. She appreciates that her older sister now has some balance. Besides, now they get to work together, which is one of  Kara’s favorite things… on most days.

“Well, what else should I know about her?” Sam asks, glancing down at the floor and acting nonchalant. Kara almost laughs.

“You know, you could just ask her yourself. She’d tell you anything you wanted to know,” Kara says, trying to emphasize the anything . She can tell Sam is angling for information, and even though she’s sure it has to do with secret santa, she hopes it has to do with more.

“Yeah, I know, but I can’t be obvious,” Sam intones, looking at Kara expectantly.

Kara sighs. These two are going to be the death of her. But, she still wants to help in any way she can so as an after thought she responds, “She also really loves scotch.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Sam says with a satisfied nod. She places her hand over Kara’s.“Thanks, Kara.”

When Sam leaves, Kara turns back to her e-mail.

[email protected] : You catch on quick.

PS - Sweet lattes. Why am I not surprised?

She shakes her head. She glances up from her desk to where Lena is sitting, staring at her computer. She’s focused and unsmiling, her eyes narrowed in concentration. Kara grins, going back to her e-mail to send another note.

[email protected] : So, Lena. Do you have any favorite holiday traditions?

Kara presses send, then glances back toward Lena’s direction. She notices the way her eyes shift, and she smiles at the way Lena’s face softens when she reads her screen. Kara watches the small trace of a smile appear in the corner of her lips -- and just as quickly, she watches it completely disappear. Lena’s jaw clenches and she turns back to serious, firing off a quick reply with snappy precision. The entire transaction feels cold and aloof. Kara waits anxiously.

[email protected] : Not really. Christmas in my family is not something we actively celebrate.

Kara frowns. She isn’t sure what to say to that. There’s clearly more to the story. There usually is when it comes to the Luthor family, but she doesn’t want to push. Not yet. Not when she’s made this much progress. It’s a very precarious arrangement she’s working with, and one wrong word can shatter it. But the comment nags at her -- the way Lena says it so stiffly, with so little emotion. Before Kara can think of a follow up, Lena sends another message.

[email protected] : Do you? What are your favorite traditions, santa?

Kara leans back in her chair. For some reason, the first thing that comes to her mind is not the Christmas mornings spent with Alex, frantically tearing open gifts and chasing each other around the house with whatever toys they had gotten. It isn’t Eliza putting a roast in the oven, or the Christmas movies on TV. It isn’t even the fire crackling as she dozes by the tree, the twinkling lights the last thing she sees between falling heavy lids.

Instead, it’s Krypton. Or what she can gather from her memory, anyway. It’s confusing. There are faces she doesn’t really recognize anymore -- blurry, and just out of reach -- holding her hand as she glides along the floor. There’s music playing, an organ of some sort, a comforting melody that sounds vaguely familiar. There’s a banquet hall, and flowers, so many flowers; there are bouquets and baskets and garlands all combining together, adorning the halls in the richest reds and brightest whites.

Everyone is dressed in silky formal attire, flowing and soft with gentle pastel colors. There’s a large tree in the middle, but it isn’t a traditional Christmas tree. In Krypton, it was a giving tree, a symbol of innovation and advancement. The belief was it would give back and thrive in accordance with what they put in. It’s the shape of a willow, with hanging branches that twist and swirl like tendrils of horse hair. There are lights and ribbons woven throughout, and sweet fruits hanging from the vines.

Kara remembers smells of cinnamon and honey; lavender and cardamom, and she remembers sneaking baskets of sticky bread under the table, and dancing until her feet hurt.

She remembers her parents, their smiling faces and the family crest pressed into their garments. It’s a symbol she remembers with pride, but keeps mostly in secret: the house of El -- similar to a letter S -- bold and emblazoned on their chests.

Alex is the only person she’s ever really told about Krypton. Even her cousin, who she finally found after several years of searching, doesn’t understand, and doesn’t seem to have an interest. So she doesn’t know why she feels the need to tell Lena.

But she does.

[email protected] : We had slightly different traditions where I’m from. The whole community used to gather together for a holiday festival. There’d be music and dancing, and more food than you can possibly imagine. At midnight, we’d exchange gifts. Small things, just little tokens. The elders would read some of our sacred texts. It was all very beautiful. I like the way we celebrate here, too - Christmas cookies are a world wonder! - but my favorite will always be the traditions back home.

[email protected] : I have to say, I’m a little jealous. I’ve never heard of anything quite like that, but it all sounds spectacular.

It was, Kara wants to say. It really was.

Another message interrupts her thoughts.

[email protected] : Do you miss it?

It’s not the question Kara expects, and she stops to consider. She figures Lena will ask where she’s from, or about her hometown, not… how she feels about being gone. But the question hardly anyone knows to ask is there, written out and staring at her, begging to be answered.

She marvels at how easy it is to open up to a relative stranger. Lena isn’t a complete stranger, but still, the conversation feels rather intimate for someone she’s talked to only a handful of times in real life. But Lena responds in a way that makes Kara feel almost safe. Like she cares. That, coupled with the fact that Kara can hide behind the screen, and pour her heart out to someone who can’t see her face, makes her acknowledge feelings she has never let herself express out loud before.

[email protected] : All the time. But I’m thankful to be here now.

“Whatcha reading?” Winn asks, sliding his chair over to Kara’s screen.

“Nothing!” Kara yelps, minimizing her screen. Everyone needs to stop sneaking up on her.

“Staff meeting - 5 minutes!” James calls out across the room. “We’ve got some breaking news and we need all hands!”

“Guess that’s our cue!” Kara turns to Winn with a smile. “You ready?”

The rest of the day is crammed with meetings and research, as everyone in the office works frantically to meet an almost impossible deadline. It isn’t until Kara gets home and finally collapses on her couch around 10pm that she’s able to check her e-mail again.

She smiles when she sees a simple reply from Lena.

[email protected] : I’m rather glad you’re here, too.

When she falls asleep, she dreams of her parents, and the ancient giving tree of Krypton -- which looks a familiar and intense shade of green that Kara wakes up missing.

Xx

The next morning, Kara gets to work at the ungodly hour of 6am. If it was for any other reason, she would be horrendously grumpy, but today she’s on a mission. She’s cautiously optimistic that Lena won’t be there yet, but Kara can count the number of times she’s seen Lena’s office empty on one hand. If she’s already there and hard at work, Kara knows she’ll have to come up with some other ridiculous plan to circumvent running into her. One that probably involves building security codes and being lowered from the ceiling. She wonders if Alex would be willing to keep watch…

Ok, Kara. One step at a time. She really, really hopes it doesn’t come to that.

The holiday party is still several weeks away, but Kara wants to surprise Lena with something small, to hopefully get her more in the spirit. Somehow, she feels personally responsible for her holiday cheer, and since that seems to be lacking, Kara wants to heal that in any way she can.

The light is on in Lena’s office, but as Kara gets closer, she realizes that the place is deserted. Kara walks by her door several times, pausing for several seconds each time in order to glance around the hallway. After a silent 30 seconds and before she can lose her nerve, she decides the coast is clear and quickly ducks inside. The office is practically untouched-- if Kara didn’t see Lena every day, she would think it to be vacant. Everything is crisp, clean, and decidedly bland. There aren’t any pictures, no unnecessary fanfare or suggestions at hobbies. The only thing that Kara recognizes as a personal touch seems to be a black and white chessboard with polished pieces sitting on a table, and an expensive looking decanter filled a quarter of the way with golden scotch. There are a few books neatly shelved, and a small vase on the pristinely kept desk that contain pure white flowers. Kara runs her fingers gently along the silky smooth petals, smiling as she feels the way they almost melt in her hands. They feel rare and exquisite, and for a whole combination of reasons, they remind her of her mother.

She leaves her gift right next to Lena’s laptop. Satisfied, she backs out of Lena’s office slowly, closing the door as quietly as possible.

“By my calculations you are 5 weeks, 3 days, 4 hours and 17 minutes early,” a voice close to her ear announces.

“Come again?” Kara startles, looking around frantically. She relaxes when she realizes it’s just Querl -- or Brainy, as everyone calls him; the nickname attributed to his ridiculousy advanced computer skills -- staring at her patiently. “Brainy! You scared me!”

“My apologies. You are early for the exchange of secret claus!” he exclaims, gesturing grandly to the ceiling.

“Secret santa?” Kara asks, confused. Brainy, for all his brilliance, has an adorable tendency to misconstrue most slang terms. It drives Alex crazy, but it’s one of Kara’s favorite things about him.

“Yes, that,” he corrects, quieter this time. He nods to himself, like he’s committing it to memory. Kara frowns, suddenly remembering she’s been caught red-handed leaving a gift for Lena. Quickly, she tries to recover.

“Oh, this isn’t a secret santa gift,” Kara fumbles, trying to avoid making more of a scene. She remembers that they’re still outside of Lena’s office and hurries to steer Brainy in another direction. “I--uh-- it’s a delivery. From downstairs? I was just bringing it up for--” Kara waves her hand dismissively. “You know what, nevermind. Let’s go get some coffee, I think you could use some coffee.”

“I have had 4 coffees already this morning,” Brainy says automatically. He pauses, contemplating. “But a 5th certainly sounds tempting.”

He allows Kara to steer him toward the elevator, just as the familiar sound of high heels come clacking around the corner.

Xx

Lena knows someone has been in her office, even before she enters the corridor. She can just sense it. The hairs on the back of her neck prickle with fear, as she quickens her pace toward her destination. She shouldn’t have left it unlocked. She knows better. What a foolish mistake. As a rule, no matter what time it is, when she leaves her office, she locks the door. No exceptions. These days, you can never be too careful. Naturally, her default reaction is to expect the worst -- a gift from her family, she thinks wryly. She’s filled with all sorts of images now: someone trying to steal something; someone prying for information and finding just the right combination to start a fiasco. She clenches her jaw as she opens the door, fully prepared to find everything inside disheveled and broken.

Instead, she’s greeted by nothing but pristine silence and a small, symmetrical Christmas tree.

She exhales in a huff, slamming her door a little too loudly to be an accident. She’s teetering on the edge of losing it. When she rounds her desk, she frowns at the object, the suspicion twisting in her gut once again. But is it safe? Is it a trick? She should throw it out, immediately. She can already hear her mother’s voice in her head: How can you be so careless, Lena?

But she can’t help but wonder...

The tree mocks her sour mood with cheerful miniature ornaments of gold that sparkle and wink back at her. She knows better, but before she can dispose of it, she finds the little card perched in the branches. She pulls it off and reads it.

“Thought you could use some holiday cheer - Your secret santa.”

“Of course,” Lena shakes her head, closing the card and placing it down on her desk. She takes her seat and chuckles to herself, embarrassed by her unnecessary and dramatic reaction. “You would do that.”

A knock on the door interrupts her thoughts. Lena glances up and nods, allowing Eve to walk into her office.

“Oh, wow, nice tree!” Eve exclaims, pointing to Lena’s desk. “Christmas came a little early, huh?”

“Yeah,” Lena muses, glancing back at the tree again. “Yeah, I guess it did.”

“Festive! Anyway, I brought these files over that you asked for yesterday,” Eve explains, placing them on Lena’s desk. Lena studies them quickly and then returns Eve’s smile. “Is there anything else?”

“No, that’ll be all,” Lena replies quickly. “Thanks, Eve.”

Normally, Lena would dive headfirst back into her work, but instead she finds herself staring at the little tree on her desk. She can’t explain the feeling, exactly. She’s flattered, honestly, that someone in the office thinks she’s worth all this extra effort, but the doubt claws at her. There has to be something else. No one drew her name out of that bowl and decided to be grateful for it. She wishes she wasn’t so cynical, but she’s never had much luck with people actually being what they seem.

But it’s more than that. Somehow, she’s developed a connection with someone here, and despite her best intentions, she can’t seem to keep them at a proper distance. Eventually, she’s going to learn who this person is and then everything is going to be different. The worst part about it is not that her mystery gift giver will be revealed. The worst part is that after the holidays, will there be anything left?

Lena sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration.

Why does everything always have to be so complicated?

Xx

She wouldn’t say she expects a thank you, but even still, Kara checks her phone repeatedly for the rest of the morning. She just wants Lena to acknowledge that she received it, or maybe share that it did what Kara intended. Kara imagines Lena’s face when she realizes someone left her a gift, and it makes her feel like she’s floating. She only hopes she didn’t overstep Lena’s many boundaries. This is Lena she’s thinking about. Lena, who doesn’t have any friends that Kara knows about, and -- her heart drops. Has she made a horrible mistake? She technically trespassed . Would Lena be offended? She’s extremely private, and Kara didn’t even really think about the fact that she just entered her space without an invitation.

Did one tiny misstep ruin everything before it truly got a chance to get started?

Before her anxiety can get anxiety, her phone finally chimes, with a simple response from Lena that puts all her woes to bed.

L.Luthor says: Thank you for the gift. I love it.

“Kara Danvers, follow me--” Cat calls out, two fingers beckoning her swiftly to keep up. Kara adjusts her glasses and straightens her sweater before gathering her bag. She tries to push all thoughts about Lena Luthor to the back of her mind, making room for a new set of doubts and troubles. Cat Grant hardly calls her into her office without a detailed explanation.

Kara waits for it to come, but Cat marches on in silence so Kara follows obediently. The one thing Cat won’t tolerate is being kept waiting.

They start down the hallway. Kara tries to pick up her pace to match Cat’s before she realizes where they’re going.  

“Knock knock Ms. Luthor, this way please--” Cat says again, barely pausing by Lena’s door to tap on it before continuing on her way. Kara glances inside and sees Lena stand up abruptly, studying both of them as she follows.

“Do you know what this--” Lena starts, at the same time Kara asks “Why are we--”. Kara chuckles and shrugs, and Lena’s face softens as she nods. A brief moment of understanding passes between the two, as they continue toward Cat’s office.

“Ladies, please,” Cat directs as she takes a seat behind her desk. She gestures to the front of her desk, where there aren’t any chairs or anything to get comfortable in so Kara and Lena just stand awkwardly in front of her.

The office is nothing short of epic, with long couches and a wall of mirrors on the right hand side, creating the illusion of more square footage. Behind Cat’s desk and raised slightly are several TV monitors, all showcasing a variety of news broadcasts from around the globe. A news ticker scrolls on an infinite loop underneath, lest any bit of news be missed.

There’s a door that leads out to a balcony, with a prime view of National City. Sometimes, on late evenings when Cat isn’t around, Kara sneaks out through the door to take in the sight. There’s something about watching the sun go down and the lights go on around the city that calms her down and eases her spirit on her hardest days.

“As you know, every year, CatCo puts out a special edition of the magazine for the holidays,” Cat begins, clasping her fingers together and placing them on her desk. “And this year, I’m giving our holiday feature to you.”

“Excuse me?” Lena repeats. “To me and Kara? CatCo had a fantastic quarter financially, I hardly think cutting corners is necessary. No offense, Kara.”

Kara waves her hand in acceptance as she adjusts her glasses. Lena crosses her arms defiantly, daring Cat to engage.

“This may come as a surprise to you, Lena, but not all my decisions are driven by finance,” Cat says, rolling her eyes slightly. “And I never said anything about cutting corners. I expect big things from both of you, which is why I’m teaming you two up. It’s time to do something different and I think the two of you can give the magazine exactly what it needs.”

Kara’s ears perk up. Traditionally, the holiday edition of the magazine is reserved for Cat herself to pick and choose content and write up an editorial wrapping up the year with a nicely written bow. The other features take a back seat to the year in review, and Kara has been angling to be part of it for years. She’s ecstatic at the prospect. Lena, on the other hand, seems less than thrilled.

“And what is that, exactly?” Lena asks sharply, her lips curled in a displeased snarl.

Kara feels the way the tension thickens between the two of them. She stares down at the floor, trying to pretend like this doesn’t involve her. This contentious stare down certainly feels beyond her business. Instead, she thinks about how happy she is to do this. In fact, she’s already brimming with ideas, despite the angry heat radiating off Lena’s body in response.

“Some heart .” Cat replies just as sharply, narrowing her eyes and staring at Lena until Kara is sure the windows will shatter from the bitter rivalry. Finally, Lena relents, dragging her eyes to the floor, the muscles of her jaw rippling as she clenches her teeth.

Kara isn’t sure what to make of the exchange, only that Lena is clearly displeased with the assignment, or her partnership, or both. To make matters worse, Lena has refused to look in her direction since they got in Cat’s office.

“You’ll have a month to get everything in order. Plenty of time to take us in a new direction,” Cat explains. “I don’t want what we’ve done in the past, so don’t try to recreate something grand. Give it some feeling . I’m giving you free range to do whatever you feel is best.”

“Great,” Kara replies, nodding. “We won’t let you down.”

Cat smiles, then looks pointedly at Lena. “Also, this is a high priority, so I want you to shift your other projects around to give this your focus. Is that clear?”

Kara nods, and catches the way Lena’s eyebrow juts upward in displeased acceptance.

“Good! Looking forward to seeing what you two come up with!” Cat exclaims, dismissing them with a wave of her hand.

Lena turns on her heel and promptly storms off, leaving Kara to smile awkwardly at Cat before taking off after her. She stops before she fully catches up and remembers her phone, and Lena’s most recent message, and oh -- oh no .

How is she supposed to work with her on this project and still keep up her secret santa persona? The odds of this happening have always been absurdly low -- as in, this is the first time she and Lena have been paired up to do anything . Oh, why now?

As excited as she is to work on her dream project with Lena and get to actually know her, Kara can’t help but be disappointed that she may have to put her secret santa plan on the back burner. There’s no way she can play two roles and fool Lena into thinking she has nothing to do with secret santa.

Unless…

She smiles. The idea is crazy enough that it just might work. She types a quick reply to Lena, adjusts some things on her phone, and then, once satisfied with her work, ventures back to her desk.

Xx

Lena is already back in her office typing frantically by the time Kara returns to her own desk. She checks her work e-mail and fires off a few quick responses to things that don’t require much thought, more to keep her mind occupied on anything other than her new looming deadline and Lena Luthor. Unfortunately, her distraction lasts approximately two minutes before she gives in to glancing in Lena’s direction again. It’s possible she’s typing even faster now, the click-clack of the keys giving way to deliberate thumps and slaps. She doesn’t seem like she’s going to stop working any time soon, which is troubling. If Kara doesn’t go over there, she’s pretty sure Lena will just pretend the entire meeting never happened and ignore Cat’s assignment. Kara hopes they can find a way to work together, because this is something she really wants to do well on. She wants to show Cat that she didn’t make a mistake in relying on Kara to carry this out.  And Lena needs to help her get there.

With that, Kara gathers her things and walks across the hallway, chin held high, ready to try to convince Lena that working with her isn’t going to be the worst project ever.

“Hey Lena,” Kara says softly, knocking on her door with timid knuckles.

“Kara,” Lena says, her voice gentler and more tired than earlier. She stops typing and leans back in her chair, almost inviting conversation. “I was just about to walk over there.”

“Oh, I figured,” Kara shrugs, glancing around the office carefully. She awkwardly runs her hand over the spine of a book, but her nervous fingers cause the book to topple over. With a loud thud, it hits the floor hard. Kara immediately reaches to pick it up.

“Oh, shoot, I’m sorry!” she exclaims, adjusting her glasses and fumbling to put the book back on the shelf. Lena doesn’t respond and when Kara brings herself to look back at her, she is met with a curious and gentle smile. Kara wishes she could know what Lena is thinking, but more than that, she wishes she could have some control of her limbs. “Should we-- do you want to get some coffee before we get started on this work?” Kara suggests, hoping a little caffeine will smooth things over. Maybe she should get decaf, though. Her hands are already shaking enough as it is.

“I think we’re going to need it.” Lena closes her laptop and stands slowly. She flashes Kara a conspiratorial grin. “In order to stay awake.”

Lena comes around her desk and heads to the corner of her office to grab her coat -- a lovely deep magenta piece that contrasts sharply with her ivory skin. Lena nods in Kara’s direction and leads the way out the door. Kara marvels at the way she is all business and calculations wrapped in a fashionable package and finished off with intimidating six inch heels. It’s almost like an armor she uses to get through the day. It must be tiring, Kara thinks, to always have to be so precise and on guard all the time. She catches herself feeling bad for Lena, which distracts her enough from the fact that their entire elevator ride is completed in stone cold silence.

“Hi Ms. Luthor, the usual?” the barista asks as soon as they approach the coffee cart. Kara warms with the fact that she now knows what that usual is, too. The good feeling is replaced with panic as she realizes she also has a ‘usual order’.

“Yes, with an extra shot of espresso,” Lena says, her voice bordering on desperate. “Please,” she adds, with a half attempt at a smile.

“And Ms. Danvers, your usual as well?”

“Oh just regular coffee with cream for me today,” Kara replies, trying to hide her displeasure. “My other usual,” she notes, side-eyeing Lena quickly. The barista shrugs as she turns to fill the orders. The advertisement for the seasonal peppermint mocha latte taunts her with its decadence. Kara sighs. Now is not the time. She’s not about to be outed by a sweet indulgence.

“Let me get it,” Kara says, offering out her credit card. Lena’s is taken aback, but slowly nods her approval as Kara steps in to pay.

“Thank you,” Lena offers with a small smile.

“Of course.”

“So I couldn’t help but notice the tree on your desk,” Kara starts, choosing her words carefully as they turn to head back toward the office. She knows she shouldn’t because she’s already in dangerous territory, but she can’t help it. She wants to know if it made Lena happy, and if she’s going to keep it. She wants an excuse to explain why it’s an important token -- without actually explaining it. She wants...well, she wants a lot of things, frankly. All of which seem impossibly out of her reach at the moment.

“Oh, come on Kara, I know it’s you,” Lena says, turning to her with a devilish gleam in her eye. “You can stop pretending.”

“I -- I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Kara fumbles, feeling her face getting uncomfortably warm.

“Oh really? Secret santa?” Lena grins, before taking a sip of her coffee. She shakes her head. “I have to give it to you, you really had me going there for a minute, I--”

Lena’s phone buzzes and she stops mid-sentence to check it. Kara is careful to focus on her drink. Lena’s eyes widen as she reads.

SecretSanta says: You’re welcome. Helping you to get into the spirit?

Lena glances at Kara again, before frowning at her phone.

“You aren’t on your phone,” she says, her face deadpan.

“I’m sorry?” Kara asks. She holds up her hands. “No. Should I be?”

Lena shakes her head. “No I -- I guess I’m wrong,” Lena says softly. She looks at Kara again. “Sorry,” she practically whispers, a sheepish smile on her face.

“Not a problem,” Kara says, trying to act chipper. She plasters a smile on her face so Lena will stop looking at her like she’s guilty. She feels her phone buzz in her pocket, and notes the way Lena quickly pockets her own. “I can think of worse things to be accused of.”

She doesn’t know why she says it. Mostly to be clever, but somehow it falls terribly flat. Lena’s face darkens as she nods slowly, her eyes sharp and focused.

“I’m sure you can,” she retorts. Something about Lena’s entire persona shifts, her face darkening like clouds eclipsing the sun. Kara knows she’s offended her, she just isn’t quite sure how.

They walk back the rest of the way in silence. Kara sneaks a glance at her phone.

L.Luthor says: It certainly doesn’t hurt.

Ordinarily, it would make her smile -- the fact that her gift clearly had the effect she wanted -- but standing next to a very distant, very annoyed Lena Luthor in the flesh significantly puts a damper on things. When they get settled in the conference room upstairs, Lena gets right to work, typing furiously and stopping only occasionally to clench her jaw, her mouth moving in silence as she re-reads something on her screen.

Kara clears her throat, but Lena ignores it.

“I think it would be better if we started this on our own,” Lena says after several agonizing and silent minutes. She takes her glasses off her face and places them on the table, rubbing at her temples.

“Well, Ms. Grant specifically asked us to work on this together,” Kara frowns. “I don’t think--”

“And we will,” Lena insists. “But it’s a better use of our time to at least come up with ideas on our own before bringing them together. Otherwise we’re just going to sit here staring at each other.”

“Or,” Kara counters, “We could, you know. Talk it through. I think collaborating means we at least discuss some ideas first.”

Lena glances at her watch, gesturing for Kara to start. Exasperation aside, Kara considers it a small victory.

“I want this to be memorable. When our readers read it, I want them to feel the happiness that only the holidays can bring, you know?”

Lena shrugs. “I admit I’m not really the ugly sweater holiday type.”

“Oh, that’s a good idea --” Kara starts, before Lena’s glare cuts her off. “Okay, nothing about ugly sweaters. Got it.”

Lena continues to stare at her silently, which Kara gathers is going to be a theme for this conversation.

“Gingerbread houses?” Kara suggests. “We could--”

“--They’re a mess.”

“Toyland?”

Lena frowns.

“What about Christmas carols?”

“Ah, saving the world one tone deaf performance at a time?” Lena’s lips curl into a patronizing smile.

“Something like that. I was thinking more along the lines of each article having a title after a song…” Lena’s disgusted expression stops her cold. “You hate all of this.”

“Who cares about the holidays? I mean, truly. It’s just another day of the year to reflect on disappointment, or it’s spent trying desperately to impress family members that will never actually approve of anything you do. Dedicating half our magazine to it is a waste.”

“But there has to be something about the holiday you do like,” Kara tries.

“How quiet the office is?”

“Okay,” Kara nods, tapping her pen against her notebook and trying to think of a way to spin that . “Productivity…” she starts to say, before Lena interrupts.

“Why does it matter what you, or I, or anyone does for Christmas? It’s hardly entertaining enough to write about.”

“I don’t know,” Kara shrugs. She puts her pen down. “I mean, you’re right -- puff pieces aren’t going to be what sells magazines. I get that. But without taking the time to appreciate everything we have, and giving people reasons to feel happy, what would be the point of it all?” Kara asks. She stands up and starts to pace, gesturing emphatically. “If we only focus on reporting the serious things all the time-- then we don’t take the time to celebrate the things that are already pretty great. This is an excuse to remind people of some of the highlights of the year, and to convey a message of hope for the next. We can’t just be doom and gloom all the time.”

“Doom and gloom?” Lena raises a perfectly manicured eyebrow. Her red lips part in a grin.

“You know what I mean.”

“There’s wickedness in idle hands,” Lena insists, crossing her arms. Her eyebrow raises sharply, daring Kara to disagree. “This isn’t contributing anything productive to society.”

“Don’t you think there’s just as much good in taking the time to restore some faith in humanity?” Kara asks, her voice watery with feelings she can’t put words to at the moment. “This piece might not be breaking news, or cutting edge research, but it’s still important. We only do it once a year. I think we can put aside all the other things and focus on something fun for once.”

“My goodness, there’s some steel under that soft sweater, isn’t there?” Lena grins, her mouth hanging open slightly as she assesses Kara’s entire form. Her stare is intense, but not grating. Kara isn’t sure if she’s being judged, or admired. It’s all very confusing and she can feel the way her cheeks flush under Lena’s gaze.

“I’m just saying,” Kara turns away so she can gather her wits. “It isn’t a waste of time.”

“No, perhaps not,” Lena sighs. “But surely you can understand my position?”

Kara waits, and Lena takes the noncommittal silence to explain.

“Market analysis, business trends, hours of scientific research…” Lena drawls. “I’m here to position CatCo to be the leading media conglomerate in the world. The closest thing to fluff that I get involved with is when the Dow has a particularly good day.”

“All the more reason to try something new, then! It’s okay to step out of your comfort zone, you know,” Kara points out.

“I’m not scared , if that’s what you’re implying. This is hardly a challenge. More of an inconvenience.”

“Well we’ve wasted a lot of time already, so..” Kara checks her watch.

“--And I’m going to be late for another meeting,” Lena says, frowning as she types something on her laptop. “We do this on our own and meet back up tomorrow?”

“Okay,” Kara relents. “That’s fine.”

Lena closes her laptop and offers a parting smile as she quickly leaves the room. Kara watches as she types into her phone, clearly already focused on something else, and she feels the frustration begin to build. Lena seems ferociously dedicated to everything about her job -- everything, that is, except this one request. It’s funny that Kara now finds herself involved in trying to get Lena Luthor to care about the holidays in two ways now.

Unfortunately, she’s not sure she’s going to succeed in either case.

Xx

“The holiday feature?” Sam’s eyes widen. She lets out a low whistle. “Man, that’s something. And she didn’t ask me to help you? Frankly, I’m pissed,” Sam says, crossing her arms and scowling. “Lena doesn’t even like the holidays.”

“No kidding. She’s tough,” Kara grumbles, flopping down in her chair. “I can’t figure out why Cat wants us to work together at all. I mean, I can handle it myself, and Lena clearly wants no part of it.”

“No part of you, or no part of the work?” Sam asks. She throws in a wink and Kara scowls at her before letting her shoulders slump in defeat.

“Both?” Kara suggests, wincing.

“Ouch.”

“Yeah, not good,” Kara says. “This is going to be so much harder than I thought.”

“Well, don’t let her get to you,” Sam says, clasping her hand on Kara’s shoulder. “Besides, it’s only for a little while right? You’ll manage.”

“Yeah,” Kara reluctantly agrees. She forces a smile and tries to look convinced. Sam looks satisfied, like her advice is being heeded, but deep down, Kara feels far from comforted. Lena’s attitude has already gotten to her, for more reasons than she can actually admit out loud.

Alex wanders over to Kara’s desk a few hours later, but stops short of her destination when she sees Kara angrily roll up a sheet of paper and throw it across the room, missing the trash can. She watches her scrawl more notes, then rip another sheet off her notebook and roll it up in the same fashion. She winds up and throws, and Alex reaches out to catch it.

Frowning, she approaches slowly. She can already tell her sister is going to need to be talked down before she accidentally hits someone else with trash, or, as she is more want to do, break something valuable.

“Easy there slugger,” Alex jokes, placing the discarded piece of paper on Kara’d desk. “What’s got you pitching 100mph?”

“The holiday feature,” Kara grumbles. “It’s stupid and I don’t know what to do.” Kara tears another sheet and starts to crumble it.

“Did my sister just call the holiday feature stupid? I’m pretty sure you’ve wanted to be part of that since you joined CatCo.”

“Yeah well, lucky me.”

“Kara, what’s going on?” Alex asks, more concerned now. Her sister loves the holidays, and she loves all the cheesy extra nonsense that goes with it. It’s infectious, really, the way Kara insists on going all out with decorations and presents. Anyone who is lucky enough to spend time with Kara Danvers around Christmas can’t help to get into the spirit. But this is not Kara Danvers behavior.

“Cat put me and Lena on the holiday feature this year,” Kara explains, frowning. “But Lena hates the holidays, and hates me, and hates the whole idea, and so it’s going to be horrible.”

“Okay, first of all, Lena doesn’t hate you. She might hate the holidays, but that’s not about you . She just needs someone to show her what it’s all about. And if anyone can do that, it’s you.”

Kara stops writing and takes a second to pause. Alex studies her, hoping she can come to the same realization herself.

“Maybe, but she’s just so hard to talk to sometimes,” Kara says, her shoulders slumping. “I don’t really know how to get her to understand.”

“Well, between secret santa and this project, you have plenty of opportunities to figure out what makes Lena tick. No one really hates the holidays,” Alex says, pushing her sister slightly.

“They’re just sad or lonely and need to be reminded that people care,” Kara finishes, echoing the same words she’s said to Alex millions of times over. “Yeah, you’re right.”

“Of course I’m right,” Alex grins, as Kara shakes her head. “How’s secret santa going though? She’s probably easier via e-mail than she is in person.”

“She already guessed it was me,” Kara says, sighing. “It took her five seconds.”

“Wait, really? How?”

“I might have… technically… given her a gift already…” Alex crosses her arms, and she wants to say ‘you didn’t’ -- but Kara holds up her hand.  “I know, I know. I shouldn’t have done it, but Alex you don’t understand. Under everything she really does seem so… sad . I thought it would cheer her up.”

That is definitely more Kara Danvers behavior. Kara would risk everything in order to bring someone a reason to keep believing. For everything her sister has gone through, she has turned out more compassionate and more loving than anyone Alex has ever - or will ever - meet. It’s her greatest strength, and sometimes, her biggest downfall.

“So what did you do?”

“I mean, at first, I panicked, but then I got out of it,” Kara explains.

“Oh really? And how’d you manage that?”

“What? I’m stealthy!”

“Uh-huh.”

“I set my e-mail to have a delay, this way she’d get a secret santa response while we were together and know I wasn’t the one sending them. She ended up apologizing.”

“Clever.”

“I told you!” Kara grins, feeling a little more cheerful than she had earlier. “I’ve got some tricks up my sleeve.”

“You always do,” Alex agrees, shaking her head.