Chapter Text
Aizawa added 20 people to Class 1-A
Aizawa: Behave. Iida and Yaoyorozu are moderators. @ me if you need anything
Kaminari: Aw hell yeah this is going to be great
Kaminari changed their name to Outlet
Sero changed their name to Plug
Mina: Out. Get out of my good Christian surver right now
Kaminari changed Mina to LSD
LSD: You can stay nvm
Midoriya changed their name to Jello
Outlet: Explain
Jello: No bones = jello
Todoroki changed their name to Thermostat
Yaoyorozu changed their name to Momo
Plug changed their name to WashiTape
Outlet: But we matched
WashiTape: Sorry Iida would have given me the “disappointed dad” look
LSD: Are we just ignoring the fact Todoroki made a joke with his name?
Uraraka: You don’t even know the half of it. He memes with Tsu in our group chat
Jello: It’s funny but he loves dark humor
Tokoyami changed their name to Murkrow
Murkrow: I heard someone mention dark humor?
Kirishima: Is this a new gc? Awesome!
Kirishima changed their name to Rock
LSD changed Rock to Cutieshima
Murkrow changed Shoji to Hugs
CutieShima changed Bakugou to BakuSlay
Cutieshima changed LSD to Queen
Cutieshima changed Outlet to KamiNice
Cutieshima changed WashiTape to SeRose
Queen: That was so pure
Uraraka: Watch this
Uraraka changed their name to Mochi
Uraraka changed Iida to Sonic
Uraraka changed Thermostat to Lukewarm
Uraraka changed Asui to Froglegs
Froglegs: Cannibalism
Jello: They get cute names we get food-themed names. Seems about right
Jirou changed their name to Aux
Jirou changed Momo to CraftingTable
KamiNice: Nice
Sonic: Betrayed by my own kind. I know you mean it as the American restaurant but my brother has this same tag…
Sonic changed their name to Iida
Mochi: Change it back we matched
Iida: I’d rather not
Mochi changed Aizawa to Dad
Mochi: @Dad one of your two (2) respectable children isn’t giving in to my peer pressure
Dad: Good choice Iida. Don’t associate with Tensei
Iida: You learned the hard way didn’t you
Dad: I think you of all people should know that
Iida: Fair enough. Good luck, because I’m fairly certain he’s spamming your chat
Dad: You don’t even know the half of it. Have fun dealing with your pests while I deal with mine
Froglegs changed their name to Froppy
Iida changed Mochi to Space
CraftingTable changed their name to Momo
Iida: Every change your name to something appropriate. No matching names unless you’re dating because I don’t want the teachers to try and romantically pair us up again
Lukewarm changed their name to Issues
Jello changed their name to Green
KamiNice changed their name to Pikapika
SeRose changed their name to Flextape
Shoji changed Murkrow to Birb
Cutieshima changed their name to Hard
Queen changed their name to LSD
Mineta changed their name to Grape
Bakuslay changed their name to Grenade
Satou changed their name to Cake
Aoyama changed their name to Glitter
Hagakure changed their name to Whomst
Ojiro changed their name to Karate
Iida: Good. Now since that is done, you are welcome to converse on almost any topics. I expect you all know what is socially acceptable to talk about with each other but @ me or Momo if you’d like to escape it
Momo: I agree! Also, if anyone ever needs something that you can’t go and buy because of the dorm rules, I’d be happy to make it for you!
Grape: Anything?
Momo: Almost anything. I do have lines I refuse to cross
Pikapika: Iida I’m shaking did you say that the teachers have tried to pair us up by who they think should date
Iida: They have a groupchat of it.
Flextape: ...are you a part of the groupchat
Iida: Yes! Tensei won’t let me leave! I’m their inside source! Help!
Grape: Why haven’t I been paired up with a girl yet. Tell them to pair me up with Momo or Tsuyu. They’re cute
Froppy: Iida I’m going to get Uraraka to float you into the sun if you do that
Iida: Talk to Aizawa if you want that. He’s in the chat too
Green: @dad is this true
Dad: @yamada @kayama
Yamada: Iida Jr you’ve betrayed us
Space changed Yamada to Screech
Space changed Kayama to Chloroform
Chloroform: I’m disowning you
Iida: Oh no, please don’t! However will I live!
Pikapika: You’ve corrupted the class rep
LSD: Shame on you
Flextape: Yeah, that’s our job
Screech: If you think this is his corrupted state you’re mistaken
Green: Wait, do the teachers actually pair us up based on who you ship?
Chloroform: Some of you. And not for hero training just in English for the projects
Issues: I’ve been with Mineta before does that mean I-
Hard: Oh my gosh Todoroki are you have an existential crisis
Issues: My constant state is an existential crisis
Birb: Oh? Mood?
Kouda: (｡•́︿•̀｡)
Birb: Not a mood?
Kouda: (o^▽^o)
Whomst: Kouda you’re so pure
Karate: @Issues you okay?
Issues: Nah but I haven’t been for years
LSD: We respect not being okay in this good Christain chat
Flextape changed Class 1-A to Good Christain Chat
Aux: Are you even Christain?
LSD: No but that’s besides the point
Cake: Is it impossible for us to stay on one topic? I want to hear more about the teachers shipping us
Iida: Oh yes, @dad @screech @chloroform would you please care to explain
Dad: @sonic Explain.
Sonic: Oh my gosh I can finally meet them now
Green: Ingenium is talking to us? I’m going? To scream???
Screech: That’s my job
Grenade: Oh hey Ten
Sonic: Kat, my man! How’s UA
Grenade: Those little shits I told you about still won’t leave me alone but I learned a new move by sparring one of them so I let them be
Sonic: Amazing, you should give me your visitors pass and let me see it
Grenade: 9 am Saturday?
Sonic: I’ll bring the compression sleeves
Iida: Wait just a moment
Rock: You’re having a normal conversation bro?
Aux: You two know each other?
Pikapika: ...I’m not a little shit
Sonic: Tenya you know that we’re good friends
Iida: No, I absolutely did not know that
Sonic: Do you just tune me out?
Iida: Yes, I do. Discussing with you will occasionally lower my IQ
LSD: Ouch that’s gotta sting
Sonic: Shut it Uniqua
Iida: Behave Tensei otherwise I will be required to use force
Flextape: If she’s Uniqua then am I Pablo?
Sonic: Duh
Sonic: Kaminari is Tasha, Kirishima is Austin, and Kat is Tyrone
Grenade: I will push you down the stairs don’t compare me to that orange moose
Screech: Hey no bothering the injured
Issues: I’m injured on the inside can I not be bothered
Space: Otw to bother Todoroki hmu if you wanna join
Issues: @dad Save me
Dad: What Uraraka decides to do in her free time is none of my concern
Issues: Oh I see. I thought you were more of a hero than Endeavor. Yet here you both are. Leaving a child to their own defenses and corrupting their state of mind. Time to craigslist a new father again
Chloroform: Oh my gosh
Green: He’s like this every day don’t worry
LSD: Does it work tho?
Dad: Compare me to Endeavor again I dare you
Space: MOMO COME BRING ME A LADDER
Space: HE TIED ME TO THE CEILING
Iida: Aizawa you are a teacher these actions do not show leadership or set a good example
Sonic: Tenya
Sonic: All he eats is pouched and coffee, if that’s your life example please reconsider or seize associating with me
Iida: believe me. i’ve been trying to “seize associating” with you since I was 4
Pikapika: we’ve been trying to get him to act like this for ages, how did you do it
Sonic: Simple. Bribe him. Orange juice and library cards are like money to him
Froppy: So does agreeing to follow the rules
Rock: Do I have to have a pass to leave the school grounds
Momo: Kirishima, sweetie, where are you
Rock: No idea. The security guards waved to me when I showed them my license and I ended up in a store
Dad: ...dammit
Green: What store
Rock: Dunno. The words aren’t in japanese
Screech: You had english class 3 hours ago. At least tell me you can spell the word on the shop sign
Flextape: Woah dude that’s a lot to ask of a person
Rock: I got it! It says Tourist Attrition
Sonic: Better luck next time buddy. Maybe try the name ‘Tourist Attraction’
LSD: He’s dumb
Grenade: You of all people are not allowed to call him that
Whomst: Haha get rekt
Screech: Who’s getting him this time
Sonic: I’ll do it
Rock: Can I ride on the back of the chair
Iida: Tensei do not say it. I know exactly what you are thinking and it will not end well
Sonic: If you sit on the feet pedestal things and harden yourself then you can clear the way while I elbow boost us back
Froppy: Iida just walked into the kitchen and is downing a very large cup of Kouda’s apple juice you broke him
Kouda: (・`ω´・)
Cake: I’ll buy you some more next time I’m out
Kouda: ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～ ♡
Karate: Cute
Karate: But uh how exactly are you getting Kirishima home Iida Sr
Sonic: Ew don’t call me that Iida Sr is my dad
Green: Ingenium is taken by our Iida though
Space: I vote we call him old man
Issues: He does have the complications with normal bodily functions
Flextape: He has the what now
Issues: He no walk. He has chair he scoot scoot around in
Sonic: Is that really Endeavor’s son?
Issues: We don’t mention that filth in here
Rock: Did you know that pigeons are very soft
Iida: Tensei what the fuck did you do
LSD: CLASS REP CURSED
Pikapika: GO PUT A QUARTER IN THE SWEAR JAR
Green: We have a swear jar?
Flextape: We made it for Bakugou but he won’t pay up
Froppy: I can make him pay using force
Space: Can I like have the jar of money when it’s filled
LSD: No we’re taking everyone out for acrylic nails when it’s filled
Rock: That’s cool and all but like can I keep the pigeon
Sonic: We named him Kiwi
Screech: I vote yes
Dad: I vote no
Chloroform: Shouta voted no so I’m voting yes
Rock: We have a class pet now!
Sonic: And I’ve made an impromptu trip into UA now!
Grenade: Did you bring the sleeves?
Sonic: Keep them with me 24/7 dude
Grenade: Meet you in 20
Issues: How do you two know each other
Iida: I’ve been asking myself the same question
Karate: My question on what we should call Iida Sr was never answered
Sonic: Call me God
Iida: I’m an atheist then
Space: ?
Iida: He does not exist to me
Dad: Tensei devoted your life to you and this is how you repay him
Iida: Yes.
Screech: Valid
Pikapika: Wait why did we so readily agree to meme and talk with the teachers
LSD: We hold absolutely no respect for them duh
Froppy: They’re kinda like those cool parents who are actually hip with the kids
Issues: Ah yes I love my Father, Papa, Aunt, and Uncle. You may know them as Aizawa, Yamada, Kayama, and Iida Sr
Dad changed Screech to Papa
Dad changed Chloroform to Aunt
Dad: If I have to suffer then you have to suffer
Sonic: Hold on a sec can I add my hubby then he can be Uncle 2.0
Issues: Can I add my unofficial cousin figure
Momo: Of course! The more the merrier
Iida: You do not have a husband Tensei
Sonic: He will be my husband eventually
Space: Adorable. Now add him so we can torment him
Sonic added Crawler
Issues added Birdie
Green: Oh my gosh is that the Crawler? Vigilante and unofficial pro hero?
Crawler: Ten what did you put me into
Birdie: Yeah Todo why am I here
Birb: Todoroki why must you darken my already depressed soul
Birdie: Wow you sure are dramatic
Issues changed Birdie to Cousin
LSD: Welcome to the dysfunctional family we call class 1-A
LSD: And the creep we can’t get rid off
Grape: I heard that
Space: Glad to see you know who you are
Crawler: Tensei may I please leave
Sonic changed their name to Uncle
Uncle changed Crawler to Uncle2.0
Sonic: No
Iida: I’m so sorry Haimawari
Uncle2.0: Hey Tenya. No it’s fine I guess
Flextape: Uncle you’re gay?
Uncle: A Guncle, if you will
Papa: More like gunk
Green: Can I please please please PLEASE get yours and Hawks autographs?
Uncle2.0: Um
Cousin: Shouto I hate you for doing this
Cousin: Yeah sure. You’re the finger-destroyer kid right
Grenade: Old man are you coming or what
Uncle: I’m literally 30 years old
Uncle2.0: I don’t know that seems kind of old to me…
Aux: We have an issue in the dorms
Issues: And this time it’s not me
Grenade: Don’t fucking look at me Mina I can feel your eyes
Rock: Kiwi is behaving I swear
Dad: Let me guess. Mineta?
Momo: Mineta.
Grape: I didn’t even do anything wrong
Froppy: Mineta we can see you right now and you have 5 seconds to run
Froppy: 4
Pikapika: Shit this is getting REAL
Froppy: 3
Froppy: 2
Froppy: 1
Papa: Only maim him a little Asui
Kouda: ( ＾▽＾)っ✂╰⋃╯
LSD sent a video
Cousin: UA seems lit
Uncle2.0: I’m so confused why was there a floating bathing suit
Whomst: Mineta is the pervert of the class but Dad couldn’t expel him since none of us have officially caught him doing anything. He was taking a picture of me. As. I. Was. Changing. So that’s me in the “bathing suit” and the rest of the girls beating the snot out of him
Uncle2.0: I’m
Uncle2.0: I’m so sorry I saw you like that please forgive me
Issues: Now I see why Iida approved of you. You follow the rules
Grenade: Did I miss the fucker get his ass whooped? Damn
Aunt: Hey no swearing kid
Green: I’m late but what did Kouda send
Kouda: (ﾒ￣▽￣)︻┳═一 ( • )( • )ԅ(≖‿≖ԅ)
Cake: Do I even need to translate?
Dad: Kouda as much as I approve we still have to slightly respect the little weasel
God: Worry not. I shall be having a conversation with the Mineta family very soon, seeing as they have already been contacted
Flextape: God is that you
God: Yes
LSD: Thank you for your services
Dad: Do I have to be present for those
God: Please think about what you just said, and what actions are needed. I’m positive you will reach the correct conclusion
Uncle: Nezu it has been too long teach
God: Ah, Iida Tensei, I’m afraid it has not been long enough so I will be leaving until that time has come
Iida: He ghosted you for 12 years and you bet he’s going to do it for another 12
Glitter: Mon ami, can you help me before I burn the couch
Issues: That’s my job but sure. For 500 won
Space: You have absolutely no concept of money
Uncle2.0: Wait this is UA class 1-A right
Froppy: A little slow on the uptake but yeah why
Uncle2.0: Hey I didn’t even go to that school give me some time to connect the dots
Iida: You have no idea who we are, do you
Uncle2.0: I have no idea who any of you are please forgive me. I only know of Tenya and Tensei and I think Grenade is Bakugou?
Grenade: Hey fuckers it’s roll call time
Aunt: Kayama Nemuri also known at the fabulous Midnight
Papa: Yamada Hizashi or Present Mic
Dad: Eraserhead. You’re that 19 year old sliding hero right
Uncle2.0: Um I didn’t know you were here. I’m 25 years old. I look young
Green: Midoriya Izuku but everyone calls me Deku
Space: Uraraka Ochako
LSD: Mina Ashido but call me Mina
Glitter: Aoyama Yuuga
Kouda: ☜(･ω･ )
Cake: Satou Rikidou
Pikapika: Kaminari Denki
Issues: Todoroki
Uncle2.0: Whi
Uncle2.0: Which one
Issues: Todoroki Shouto
Froopy: Asui Tsuyu and you better call me Tsuyu
Birb: Tokoyami Fumikage
Karate: Ojiro Masahirao
Whomst: Hagakure Tooru
Rock: Kirishima Eijiro
Aux: Jirou Kyouka
Momo: Yaoyorozu Momo, please refer to me as Momo or YaoMomo
Hugs: Shouji Mezou
Flextape: Sero Hanta
Dad: @america You can’t hide forever
Green changed America to Father
Father: Young Midoriya I trusted you
Father: Hello I’m All Might
Uncle2.0: Hi yes hello um yeah wow how are you
Space: You type how Deku talks
Green: I did not ask to be insulted like this
Issues: This is great I went from having no dads to 3 how lucky can I get
Cousin: Hold up just a sec. You have 3 dads, 2 uncles, 1 aunt, 1 cousin, 3 official siblings, and 18 nonofficial siblings?
Froppy: 19 nonofficial siblings. Shinsou hangs out with us some
Green: I can also relate to going from no dad to 3 dad how pleasant
LSD: Sad but cute
Rock: Who took Kiwi
Cake: Kouda is testing out different food to see what he likes
Rock: Oh okay bro thanks
Uncle: I’m never leaving UA again
Iida: Tensei you’ve been here for 2 days
Uncle: It’s the weekend
Grenade: He’s my guest he leaves whenever the fuck I say so
Papa: If you get him out of here I’ll teach you curse words in english
Grenade: Learned those bitches a while ago
Dad: Bakugou
Grenade: Aizawa
Dad: I will put the new student in the room directly next to yours
Grenade: Okay and? He’ll fucking regret it and comlpain his ass off to you. are you sure you want to do that
Uncle: Yeah! Fight them Kat
Green: Kacchan, Iida doesn’t want him here any long can you please tell him to leave
Rock: No offense Midoriya but you’re the least likely person he’ll listen to
Father: Young Bakugou please stop this nonsense. Young Midoriya will cry again
Grenade: Fucking fight me old man
Space: You made Deku cry
Uncle: I’ve been here 2 days and he cries everytime I see him, I don’t think that’s an uncommon occurrence
Froppy: that’s it I’m bringing in the big guns to make you listen to someone
Froppy: @Issues
Issues: Katsuki Bakugou I will not talk to you for three (3) if you don’t make Tensei leave
Grenade: I can deal with 3 damn days
Issues: I meant weeks
Uncle: WEEERFSYSFDEE
Uncle2.0: ?
Papa: He was just rocket blasted half of UA’s grounds but he managed to stay on his wheels
Uncle: I was sold out so Kat could keep on talking to his bestie but it’s cool I’m fine
LSD: ? Um Blasty and Todoroki don’t talk
Rock: Yeah they do? All the time. Usually about homework
Space: Hm I’d like to know what this “homework” is about
Issues: We’ve been doing the English project that is due tomorrow
Grenade: Ofc we fucking finished it but this damn idiot won’t decide who speaks what yet
Pikapika: THERE WAS AN ENGLISH PROJECT
Papa: I’m disappointed in you
Momo: Present Mic, that’s not nice
Flextape: Ha, you forgot about it
Papa: Sero. You and Kaminari are partners.
Flextape: …
Flextape: Well rootin’ tootin’ tiddie shootin’ I’m about to yippee ki yay off this roof
Aunt: Is that your Snipe impression
Father: Oh no not another one
Green: asjhvghsds you good all might
Father: ...no
LSD: Correct answer