Chapter Text
He disliked the feeling of this bone-deep tired. As though he didn't sleep a good portion of his life away. The kind of tiredness that slipped past his flesh and went into the very veins of his body so he swam in it. He hoped he would see the surface soon.
Naruto gazed into the eyes of his Baa-chan as a whole other lifetime flashed before his eyes. He saw a battlefield, a marriage, and his own body growing into something different, sprouting like a tree. The brief image of his face from the not-world flashed by, and he felt as if he could dry heave. The knowledge that he basically aged and then de-aged hit him like a brick to the face. He felt a prick of anger as he blinked away the shadow face in his vision. Honestly, why would he cut his hair that short anyway? Both his parents had long hair, and he would be lying if he said he hadn't thought to grow his out like his mother. But she had such beautiful red hair. He didn't think his hair would look even a fraction as beautiful as hers.
(He knew he was thinking these small things in order not to think of the big things right now.)
But Tsunade was waiting for an answer. So, he wrote down the most obvious thing and tapped the paper with his pen when he was done.
Tsunade looked at the quick written word.
War
“Yes, the war. It truly was terrible, wasn't it? But then again what war isn't?” Tsunade leaned back and crossed her arms as memories of her own flooded her mind. “Who knew I would have to fight Uchiha Madara in my lifetime? Certainly not me!” She and Naruto both chuckled at that. Tsunade had a lot of time to come to terms with the war and what it had taken, and her feeling had settled to the point where talking about it wasn't like trying to swallow a rock dry. She eyed Naruto up though, as he was still tense, and felt good that she could properly console her newly awakened coma patient without her own feelings getting in the way. She put a comforting hand on Naruto's shoulder as he wrote down a 'we lost a lot of good Shinobi, good people.' and rubbed his back in a soothing manner as they both thought of all the lives taken. But, as stated before, she came to terms with the losses so instead, she focused on rubbing Naruto's back. He was like a cat really, she thought to herself. Such a simple touch, and it was as if it was the best thing he felt in his life, having his back rubbed. She knew what it was, she has been a Medical-Shinobi for a long time now and has seen many things in her life. She knew how a touch starved person behaved and Naruto fit the bill. It pains her though. She remembered the first time she comforted him in such a manner and how shocked and weirded out he was. How he refuses to be touched when going through emotional turmoil. His need to be alone in traumatic events is all because that's what he was used to. Suffering alone. Gently ringing bells for different forms of abuse. Tsunade paused her rubbing for a moment as to not overstimulate Naruto and smiled a little as she thought of the times that Shikamaru, of all people, came to her wanting to talk about Naruto's past back when she first became Hokage. Back then Shikamaru was still a child and it showed. How he tried to play it cool while feeling her out and how wide-eyed he got when she started to seriously engage him.
'That Nara...he really is a good friend.'
Shikamaru would invite her over to his home, psychology and behavioral books strewn about, and they would sit, and drink and she would listen to his concerns and thoughts and watch his face, held in that strong determination he only gets when he gives his 100% and the underlying pure sadness that he tries to cover up.
'Yeah, he is just what someone like Naruto needs.'
She ran her hand down Naruto's spine and then back up to rest at his shoulder as she knows he likes and continued the act as she read the next oncoming writing.
Kaguya was a really tough opponent
The rubbing stopped.
Tsunade stared down at the writing trying to figure out if he meant someone else. If there was a spelling mistake. She kept a hand on his shoulder while leaning over it and peered at the paper. Finally, she just asked; “Who is Kaguya?”
Naruto looked up at her with the biggest doe eyes and tilted his head (god she didn't know how much she missed such a small but signature act. She nearly forgot just how cute-) before writing more.
The moon lady who wanted everyone's chakra, we had to fight her at the end and seal her way.
Tsunade stared some more. In fact, she stood there and stared at the paper and then Naruto's eyes for such a long time that he grew uncomfortable and squirmed in his seat. Tsunade had the entirety of the war playing out in her head and just to be safe she played it over another time to try to see if what Naruto wrote had any semblance. As she was busy thinking she groped around for her wheely chair to grab. She sat in it, paused, wheeled closer, and took a deep breath. All of this making Naruto very uncomfortable.
“Naruto,” she started. “I...remember the war completely, I had time to think about it, since you've been...asleep.” She looked deep into his eyes, searching, and Naruto saw how the war aged her eyes just like it did him. The pause in between words lengthen before she spoke again. The weight of a million things unsaid behind it. “Naruto, there was no Kaguya on that battlefield. I've never even heard of her.”
Naruto sat there for a moment, brows furrowing deeper by the second. He would have written his objection down, maybe even say how her old age was finally getting to her. But, when she spoke, she spoke with all the finality and certainty that only a Kage could have. He knew that because he too once had that voice. He opened his mouth a couple of times, his gaze searching her face before frantically starting to search the room. His eyes kept landing on a Kakashi that was still laying in his lap a couple of times before settling there. Widening eyes gazed at the silver hair and he snatched his pen to quickly write.
I'm not sure if you were still in the Tsuki no Me but Kakashi was with us. He would know.
Tsunade's gaze flickered to Kakashi, who was still laying on Naruto's lap but unknown to him fully awake and listening carefully. His dark and weary eyes stared steadily at the wall across the room, showing the intent focus he had on everything going on at the moment. She looked back to Naruto.
“Naruto, it's been three years since you've been asleep, and in the time I have had plenty of talks with the other Shinobi about what happened during the war. I was even counseling a number of them. And in all those talks, even with Kakashi here, not once has anyone said anything about a Kaguya. Nor had there been any names resembling hers or the description you gave.” The Kage's voice was back, and Naruto clenched his teeth together with such force that they made a sound. A strained and painful huff of breath escaped out of him, and he tensed where he sat. All mannerism so unlike their Naruto that the other two occupants knew, it was as if he was an adult, and they were the children.
Naruto shifted a bit, enough to rustle Kakashi who was slowly sitting back up. But Naruto either didn't notice or didn't comment on it. He wrote more names down on the paper before personally handing it to Tsunade instead of tapping it. The air in the room was tense as she read.
“I'm sorry Naruto, none of these names mean anything to me. I haven't heard a single one of them.” She sat the paper down carefully and shook her head as Naruto pointedly tapped on a name 'Hagoromo, old Sage.' He paused, looked her deep in the eyes, the blue threatening to drown her in them before tapping the same name again. Tsunade, for his benefit, took another look but ultimately shook her head negatively again and gave him a sorry expression. She and Kakashi, who was now sitting slouched in a way that shouldn't be comfortable watched attentively as Naruto relaxed his grip and let the pen roll about. It was his turn to now gaze distantly at the wall ahead of him. He didn't move, but the glint in his eyes was frightening. The blue eyes were heavy and sharp, seeming to be made out of pure diamond. His gaze slowly narrowed, his expression becoming more tense and grim. Kakashi sat up straight and put a heavy hand on Naruto's knee in an attempt to ground him back. Not realizing that, with that worried expression he wore he looked like a dog trying to give comfort. Tsunade was torn from recoiling from such an expression on Naruto's face to figuring out where all those names came from. If it were just one it may have been fine but with such an extensive list as this. A sage? Kakashi and Tsunade both jumped as Naruto started to hyperventilate. His breathing became erratic and unsteady and raw sounding. The air was trying to force its way out of a small throat way too quickly. Kakashi had both hands on his shoulders keeping him steady as they were both trying to calm him back down. He started to thrash in their hold. He was pushing them away.
“Naruto-”
“Naruto please calm down!”
“We'll get you through this-”
“We-”
Naruto opened his mouth and from it, a deep scratching voice echoed out.
“get...OUT!”
Tsunade and Kakashi's eyes widen as Naruto swung his arm in an effort to give himself space.
“GET OUT, LEAVE ME... ALONE”
After he finished yelling he sat there with his hair covering his eyes and breathing heavily but more stable. The silence after the yelling made Kakashi's ears ring. He himself was breathing fast, unsure how to help or what to do. A heavy hand on his arm dragged him from his panicking. Tsunade looked him in the eyes.
“Let's go, Hatake.” Kakashi tensed and shook his head. He made a move to get to Naruto's side but was stopped by Tsuande's pure strength.
“Kakashi, he wants to be alone.” Tsunade's voice cracked at the end. A sorrowful expression crossed her face as she moved to stand in Kakashi's line of sight.
“He's got his breathing under control now, you see? So it's fine. Let's just give him so space.” She was saying this for Naruto's sake, he noticed, as a pained look once again took over her features and she bit her lip. Space was the last thing either of them wanted at the moment. He just woke up. Kakashi's gaze drifted from the Hokage's honey-colored eyes to the only window in the room where there, he saw the reflection of snow-white. The color gradually climbing, covering all the blonde there was until it was almost too pure of a color to look at. He wanted...they both wanted to be by Naruto. But they never wanted to hurt him. Kakashi let out a long sigh and let Tsunade lead him to the door. They both stopped and turned back, calling his name at the same time before locking eyes. They both smiled.
“We will be back, Naruto.”
The door closed, and the two adults use all their willpower to walk away.