Chapter Text
The room goes silent, all heads slowly turning towards Bernard. Dick's hand is still up, frozen in the midst of gesticulating. Stephanie's mouth is wide open in awe. The air is tense as everyone takes a beat.
For every single contingency, every single plan Tim had, he had not planned for this one small mistake. This could not have possibly gone worse.
The room is still for 5 whole seconds before Dick slowly hunches up, gaining a fearful look in his eye. He begins to wring his hands anxiously
"You can see him too?" Dick finally says, a falsified waver in his voice.
Never mind, it got worse.
"Grayson, what do you mean by… him?" Damian starts, speaking slowly and enunciating each word. A beat. Two.
"Oh. you mean Jason?" Steph starts.
"Yes. Jason our, uh, dead brother."
"Oh yes. The ghost of Jason. Jason who is Dead." Everyone looked at each other. Then nodded, as if to confirm that, yes, Jason was dead and that was the story they were going with.
"Well," Duke starts, "I always thought the manor was haunted."
"Oh yeah," Steph nods. "Things are always being… moved. And the drafts, you know?"
"The animals."
"Occasionally Titus barks at corners, however, I didn't realise this was due to an… apparition." With every awful addition, the bats gained a little bit more confidence in their tale of ghosts and hauntings. Tim turned to look at his boyfriend's reaction, praying that this rouse would be dropped soon. Looking at his face he very quickly realized this was only the beginning. Bernard's face of shock had morphed into a face of vindication and awe. He looked excited about the prospect of ghosts and hauntings. Tim wasn't getting out of this.
An Uber to the closest orphanage isn’t that expensive right? Bernard would surely still visit him there.
"My dear baby brother-" begins Dick, sniffling and wiping imaginary tears from his eyes. "Taken! Before his time. I thought I was just imagining his tiny ugly face following me around, but alas! You've vindicated me!"
Maybe he could push Dick out the window? Bruce would understand, right?
Bernard gave Tim's arm a light swat. "Tim! You didn't tell me your house was haunted!" He kept his eyes on Jason, as if when he looked away Jason would disappear.
Tim had a decision to make. Would he reveal the tightest held secret in Gotham, gaslight him into thinking this whole night was a dream, or would he… lie to his boyfriend about his brother being dead. Sure, it wouldn't be the first time he lied about someone's relative dying but at least this time it was his own.
Gaslighting was automatically out as the least ethical solution and Bruce would probably kill him if he told Bernard about their night jobs. Tim was torn. He didn’t want to lie to Bernard. He already lied to him so much, and who knows what would be the final straw for Bernard. When he could finally tell his boyfriend the truth about his life, how mad would he be about Tim lying about everything? Would faking a dead sibling be too far? But… There was no other option. He was stuck.
Tim looked at his siblings who were making vague incomprehensible hand gestures towards him, and at his boyfriend who was sporting a wide grin. He lets out a heavy sigh.
“I didn’t realise it until now. But yeah. The manors haunted.”
The room erupted in voices, all scrambling to add more evidence.
“The library is always cold-”
“I sometimes hear-”
“Scratches-”
“-footprints when-”
“His room-”
A cacophony of noises, and behind it all, is Jason Todd. With every new addition, his grin grows. With a flourish, he slowly rises from the couch. Everyone in the room besides Dick and Bernard takes special care to not look at the moving figure besides a short cursory glance from the corner of their eyes. Jason silently saunters toward Bernard. He grins.
“This is Bernie, huh?” Jason looks, Bernard up and down, seemingly measuring him against some sort of standard. Bernard stares in awe. “Who can apparently see my life in death. The ever unrest of my soul.”
“Hello Mr. Todd, sir!” Bernard bursts, thrusting his hand out. The room goes silent once again as the siblings look at Bernard.
“What is he-
“He’s speaking to Jason-”
“Is Jason in the room with us now?!”
Jason looks at the proffered hand and laughs. “Death touches life in many ways, kid, but not like that. Tell me, Bernie-”
“It’s Bernard-”
“Tell me Bernie. What do you think when you see me? Am I your dear boyfriend's dead brother? Or an omen of what’s to come.” Jason raises his arms, gesturing dramatically to the room around him. “I spend the afterlife in unrest! Forced to roam these halls for the next eternity!”
“Jason I can help-”
“There is no saving a cursed soul, Bernard.” Jason starts to walk past the couple towards the door before stopping in the frame. “Beware the Waynes. Tread lightly in these halls and maybe you’ll remain among the living.” And with all the drama of a daytime actor, Jason slams the door shut with a bang that echoes throughout the parlour.
“What was that!”
“Jason?!”
“What did he say?”
Did- Did Jason just tell his boyfriend that they were going to kill him? And implied that Bruce killed him? There’s no way that just happened, right? Jason isn’t that dumb?
“Guys, I need you to be honest with me- How did Jason Todd die?”
Oh my god, he is that dumb.
Tim pinched the top of his nose as he walked toward the kitchen. He had left Bernard to “explain” his conversation with the others while he had the task of telling Bruce that Jason was dead. Again.
The kitchen wasn’t far and as he entered he could see Alfred standing at the stove, carefully stirring a large pot. Fragrant steam wafted out, filling the room with the smell of stew. At the center of the kitchen, sitting on a tall stool behind the island, was Bruce. Mouthing occasional silent words, he scrolled through documents on his tablet. Bruce looked up as Tim approached.
“Heeyy Bruuuce,” Tim starts, stretching the words out. “In theory, how would you feel- and this is just theoretical- if we maybe, I don’t know, killedJasonagain ?”
“Tim,” Bruce set his work down and sighed. “I don’t know what Jason did this time, but please don’t kill your siblings.”
“You have so many kids! You won’t miss one.”
“What’s this really about, Tim?” Tim walked over to the island and sat down next to Bruce before putting his face in his hands.
“We have a problem. With tonight. With Bernard.” Bruce's eyebrows rose in alarm, quickly growing serious.
“Is everything alright? Do I need to get you out of here? If he’s made you uncomfortable I can and will remove him from the manor.” Tim lifted his head out of his arms in shock.
“Oh my god, Bruce! No! Bernards fine!”
“He better be.”
“It’s just… Okay, so you can’t get mad at me because you forgot too.”
“Tim”
“Okay, so, um, Jason died right?”
“ Tim.”
“Jason died and he’s still legally dead and we forgot and now Bernard thinks he’s a ghost haunting the manor and I hate your kids because they’re making this even worse!”
Bruce was still for a moment, taking in Tim’s outburst.
A beat.
Another.
Bruce paled. “ We forgot Jason died.”
“Yes, Bruce! We forgot Jason died! And now Bernard thinks we’re going to kill him!”
“Why does… Jason?”
“Jason.”
Bruce sighed and steepled his hands in front of him. He takes a moment to think before looking Tim in the eyes. “Our identities are unfortunately closely tied with Jason’s resurrection. Beyond that, your siblings have made this much more difficult. Had they not played along, we could have considered Jason's alive status as a family secret. However, I’m assuming you don’t want this ‘prank’ to be Bernard's welcome to the family.”
“Not really…”
“And you don’t see any other way to explain Jason without compromising our identities?
“I’ve thought about it, and I don't like it, but no.”
“Then I trust your judgement.” Tim felt uncomfortably warm at the statement. Bruce didn’t often… proclaim, his trust like that. He could feel himself turn bright red at the show of emotion.
“Cool. Sick. That’s, uh, rad.”
Bruce looked fondly at Tim. Which was gross. Bruce was so embarrassing sometimes.
“Anyways, uh, I’m going to go back to Bernard.” Tim pushes himself out of the seat, desperate to get back to his boyfriend and out of the conversation.
“I’ll make sure to set one less plate at the table, Master Tim. Please let your siblings, and our guest, know that dinner will be ready and served in 10 minutes.” Alfred calls from the stove. Tim gives him a thumbs up before turning back towards Bruce.
“Oh! I forgot to mention! Jason told Bernard that you killed him. ‘Kaythanksbye- ” and with that, Tim walks out the door and out the kitchen.
“What?!”