Chapter Text
The first time the strings of Lan Sizhui’s ribbon touch Jin Ling's face is by accident. They are on a night-hunt and the wind blows too hard.
The touch is gentle and almost weightless, but Jin Ling freezes on his spot. The wind stays strong and the ribbon brushes his cheek for a few endless moments.
The sensation strikes him right through his core. Jin Ling doesn’t know what it is. It’s like a blister. Like a blessing. For a moment he feels as if his universe turned upside down.
He glares quickly at Lan Sizhui. Today's night hunt is uneventful and they practice by shooting the tree from a distance.
Under the moonlight Lan Sizhui's face stays calm and focused. Of course, he didn’t feel anything. After all, it was only his ribbon touching Jin Ling's face and not his slender fingers.
Jin Ling takes a step back urgently. Because what are those thoughts, really.
He isn’t even supposed to be here. He knows Lan Sizhui invited him out of pity. Or even worse, because his fathers told him to.
“Shoot it already,” he snaps at Lan Sizhui. He could have been in Carp Tower now, in his golden palace, surrounded by his servants, having exquisite food and drinks. Instead, he sleeps on the cold ground, drinks water and is forced to spend time with Lan disciples, who are all annoying and stiff and don’t know how to treat him — Jing Ling — with proper respect.
But then there is Lan Sizhui. If Jing Ling stayed in Carp Tower he wouldn’t be able to enjoy watching his graceful posture and listen to his clear, melodic voice. They wouldn’t have these rare conversations when he felt lucky just to be on the receiving end of Lan Sizhui’s attention.
He sighs. How ironic, after all. Looks like he should be thankful to Wei Wuxian to force Lan Sizhui to invite him here.
“Is Jin Ling staring at me like that because he wants me to miss?” Lan Sizhui says, looking aside to where Jin Ling stands.
“Who is staring!” Jin Ling roars, alarmed, but Lan Sizhui just laughs. This is the first time Jing Ling notices how beautiful his laughter is, it’s full of light and sunshine and it sounds almost like music.
“Your posture is wrong,” Jin Ling says trying to hide his confusion. “Take it more to the left.”
“Jin Ling thinks I am aiming at the oak tree, but I am aiming at the apple tree behind it.”
Jin Ling stares at Lan Sizhui in disbelief. The apple tree is too far away. He can barely see. “It’s impossible!” he exclaims with alarm.
“If I will hit it with my arrow can Jin Ling promise me something?” Lan Sizhui’s hand tightens on the string, stretching the bow further.
“You will never hit it,” Jin Ling says confidently. “So I might as well promise you anything.”
Once those words leave his mouth he shudders slightly. There is some odd kind of excitement to say them to Lan Sizhui out loud. But also it’s safe. Lan Sizhui will miss, not even he is that good.
Lan Sizhui's face stays focused, and when he lets go of the string, his arrow flies into the darkness. It’s impossible to say if he missed or not. Jin Ling runs to the apple tree impatiently to check. When he returns there is an arrow in his hand.
“You didn't miss,” he says, his voice gloomy.
“I was trying my best since I wanted Jin Ling to keep his promise,” Lan Sizhui says with a calm smile. “Both my fathers want Jin Ling to visit Cloud Recesses. Especially one of them.” He bows slightly. “I hope Jin Ling will oblige.”
“This apple tree is not really as far as I thought.” Jin Ling sneers. “Let’s say… If I’ll hit it too I would be able to take my promise back.”
Lan Sizhui opens his eyes wide. “But that means I should wish for Jin Ling to fail. How could I possibly do that?”
Jin Ling scolds Lan Sizhui: “You’re only inviting me because Wei Wuxian told you to,” he says, aiming his arrow into the darkness. He lied before. The apple tree is far away. It’s so impossibly far away.
“There is a waterfall in Gusu I often meditate near,” Lan Sizhui says, his eyes shining in the moonlight. “I wanted to show it to Jin Ling.”
The meaning of Lan Sizhui’s words strikes Jin Ling the same moment as he lets the arrow go.
Lan Sizhui wants to show him the waterfall. Does it mean that he wants Jin Ling to visit too?
In the end, the result is pitiful. He hits the oak instead of the apple tree. Somebody laughs behind his back and he feels his cheeks flush with anger.
“Whatever!” He exclaims. Who needs a waterfall when he has his golden palace? He pushes through laughing disciplines and heads back under the shadows of pine trees. The ground is soft there and he sits down leaning against the tree.
“You forgot your arrow,” the clean melodic voice says over him.
“Throw it away. I have thousands of arrows like that in Langling.”
“Wasting resources is forbidden,” Lan Sizhui says calmly. He pauses. “Will Jin Ling let me keep his arrow?”
Jin Ling narrows his eyes. He hates how white and beautiful Lan Sizhui’s face looks under the moonlight. “Why?” he asks, quickly looking away.
“There are a lot of apple trees in Gusu, when Jin Ling will come he will be able to show his archery skills again. And if he won’t miss the promise would be on me.”
Something inside Jin Ling goes warm. “I don’t think I will have time till winter,” he says stubbornly. It’s only mid-spring, so he is determined to postpone it as much as he can.
“Gusu is beautiful in the summer.” Lan Sizhui says quietly, his voice unsure. But he doesn’t dare to press further and takes a step back. Somehow Jin Ling feels disappointed. As if he was promised something, but then it was taken away.
***
Before dawn comes, all the disciples sleep together under the pines. By some unbelievable luck, Jin Ling lays next to Lan Sizhui. He can see Lan Sizhui’s slim back next to him. The outline of his shoulder blades is visible under his robe. He is breathing deep and calm and this sound is enough to make Jin Ling forget about the comfort of his own bed in Carp Tower.
The strings of Lan Sizhui’s ribbon are right in front of him. But it takes him around half an hour to gather his courage to reach out and finally touch them.
He carefully slides the ribbon between his fingers, enjoying the feeling of cold silk next to his skin. It’s different from the first time, now he can play with Lan Sizhui’s ribbon as much as he wants, even though he suspects that maybe it’s wrong. Lan Sizhui might get angry if he finds out.
It’s just a ribbon after all, but every time Lan Sizhui’s breath changes Jin Ling freezes in sweet horror, afraid that he will be discovered. Still, he can’t let it go.
He should control himself better. But he can’t. The sensation is extraordinary, it’s better than anything he ever felt before. It makes his core expand and his heart beat faster and faster. He is as far from sleep as he can possibly be.
The wind blows and the sweet scent of oranges and cedar strikes his nose. Now he knows, this is what Lan Sizhui smells like.
***
When Jin Ling returns to Carp Tower he calls for the best merchants. He buys all the silk he can find. His bed, his sofas, his cushions, anything that his hand might touch in his palace is now covered in the best snow-white silk that poor merchants can find.
Unfortunately, Jin Ling is never satisfied. The sensation he is looking for never returns and he wanders through Carp Tower gloomy and concerned. Every day his mood gets worse and worse. Sometimes when he dreams he is haunted by the smell of oranges and cedar.
He visits Lotus Pier, but his uncle only scolds him. “If you want to go to Cloud Recesses, just go,” Jiang Cheng makes a dismissive gesture with his hand. “But don’t bother me, I am a newlywed after all.”
After that something unspeakable happens, he turns back to his husband and smiles. Jing Ling rolls his eyes, but his uncle scolds him again, “Just don’t let Wei Wuxian manipulate you into thinking that this is a good idea.”
“Nobody is manipulating me!” Jin Ling jumps up.
Jiang Cheng frowns, but his husband’s hand lands on his shoulder and his face relaxes.
“I don’t know what you all see in the Lan members when the Nie sect is so much better.”
Jing Ling grits his teeth. Before, when his uncle was angry it was pretty annoying, but this new state of almost total happiness and calm that he achieved after marrying Nie Huaisang is so much worse. Jin Ling respects Nie Huaisang of course, and finds him very impressive and smart (even to the point where he is scared of him sometimes), but his patience runs out too quickly whenever he is facing two of them together.
“Uncle! What are you saying! I don’t see anything in Lan members! I told you already I am going only because I lost a bet!”
“Shoot better next time! Who told you to shoot an arrow like that?”
“A-Cheng,” Nie Huaisang says patiently and his hand stays on Jiang Cheng’s shoulder, squeezing it tighter. “Your nephew is right. GusuLan is a powerful sect, it might be very beneficial to marry Lan Sizhui. He is the first child of Hanguang-Jun after all.”
“Marrying?” Jin Ling spatters. “Who said anything about marrying?”
“And they are very rich too…”
“It’s not about that! I don’t care if Lan Sizhui is rich at all!” Jin Ling loses his patience completely.
His uncle suddenly laughs and Nie Huaisang nods along with a foxy smile. As if they know something Jin Ling is still unaware of. He glares at them with anger. “That’s not what I meant!”
“A-Cheng,” Nie Huaisang says dreamily. “Remember how we met one another in Gusu? The Orchid Room after darkness.”
His uncle's cheeks go slightly pink. He looks at Nie Huaisang as if he wants to eat him. But before, he turns to Jin Ling, “Nephew,” he says “you can leave the room now.”
“Gladly,” Lin Jing mutters, running outside of his uncle's quarters, but still he is not quick enough. From the corner of his eyes he spots his uncle pulling Nie Huaisang closer and kissing him in such a way that even innocent Jin Ling has no doubts as to what will follow next.
