Chapter Text
Jungkook’s POV
I was scrolling mindlessly through twitter, not paying heed to the loud voices of my students in the background. Waiting for the bell to ring and restore peace in the class, I let my eyes drift over the ocean of indistinguishable words, as if lost, astray, unable to find their path back to reason.
I stood, as if bewitched, lost in distant memories, when the hasty steps of a student of mine brought me back to reality. I immediately put my phone down, noticing the fear on her face.
I stood, as if bewitched, lost in distant memories, when the hasty steps of a student of mine brought me back to reality. I immediately put my phone down, watching as they came close.
“Mr. Jeon, Yin isn’t feeling well!”
I jumped up, scanning the class in search of the girl.
“Where is she?”
She pointed at the back of the room, where, in a corner, many students had gathered.
I made my way through the dense jungle of curious heads, heart pounding uncontrollably. Barely visible behind the desks, I spotted the trembling figure on the ground, another girl crouched down next to her.
“Hey Yin… would you mind telling me what’s wrong?” Her unfocused eyes were wandering lazily around the room, lost in a dark mist of haze.
“Please Yin, I can’t help you otherwise.” I insisted, placing a hand on her shoulder in hopes to shake her from her trance. When her eyes finally met mine, I regretted it. No word could describe the grief that her helpless gaze brought onto me. Those eyes… the silent plea in them, the fear, the solitude. I diverted my gaze elsewhere before the dark shadow of despair could claim me.
“I-I’m dizzy, my head hurts…” She murmured. Her voice was nothing more than a feeble whisper, her lips as pale as snow. With a whimper, she rested her head in her knees.
“Have you eaten anything this morning?” She weakly shook her head.
It was only then that it clicked in my head. An ancient fear crept on me, as I tried to understand and, at the same time, to protect what was left of my wavering self-control. It couldn’t be, right? This had to be just a coincidence.
“Mr Jeon, what should we do?” Yin’s friend asked.
I took a deep breath. “Go to the nursery and ask for water, and some sugar.”
She nodded and ran off. I was trying to recompose myself when a soft, quiet whimper escaped Yin’s chapped lips and she collapsed on me.
“Shit- hey, hey Yin!”
The students gasped all around us.
“Okay.” I whispered to myself, trying to steady my shaky hands.
“Let’s lay her down…” I said, looking at the other friend who had remained by her side. We laid her head on a backpack, as she heavily panted, her face deathly pale. I hoped she would quickly come back to her senses, but she laid there, still, as if lifeless.
“Yin! Wake up!” I lightly shook her, but no answer came.
“Okay, no more waiting. I’ll take her to the nursery.” The students moved aside as I sprinted down the corridor with the girl limp in my arms. Right on the doorstep stood Yin’s friend. When she saw me coming she dropped the cup of water in shock and brought her hands to her mouth. I quickly reached the nursery and entered the small room just as YIN’s friend was exiting it.
I stormed into the room. “Jimin hyung!” I called.
My best friend, none other than the nurse, jumped up from his chair and had me lay the girl on a stretcher.
“What happened to her?”
I pushed my hair back, catching my breath.
“She passed out. She told me she was feeling dizzy, and… she...”
“She has been skipping meals!”
I turned towards the door. Her friend was looking at Yin with pity. “I… she’s lost a lot of weight recently… I should have… I’m sorry I should have told you all sooner… I-”
Jimin placed a hand on her shoulder.
“Hey, don’t worry, she’s gonna be fine. Do you know anything more? Has she mentioned any diet? You know when she last ate?”
She shook her head. “She’s really reserved. I never see her eating, although we are together all day…”
“You share the room, right?”
She nodded, tears forming in her eyes.
“Okay, we’re gonna take good care of her. Please go to the secretary and ask for a substitute for the class. Mr Jeon and I will make sure she’s fine. Come back at the end of the lesson so that we can update you.” She nodded, reluctantly exiting the room.
Jimin quickly shut the door and took off the girl’s hoodie. Yin was now laying there in a plain t-shirt. Her body was bony and fragile: she was extremely skinny.
My friend immediately realised his mistake and drew the curtain so that I couldn’t see her. He had me sit on a stretcher, but my gaze was still on the curtain. As if engraved in my mind, her fragile figure still stood in front of me.
“Kook? Jungkook, please, look at me.” Jimin took my head in his hands. “This isn’t the time to panic, okay? Breathe.”
“She… she’s so… just like h-him…”
“I know, but you can’t think about that now. Listen to me- no, stop looking over there, look at me. You need to calm down. I’m gonna take a look at her. You stay here, keep breathing, and then we figure it out, okay?”
I nodded. But I couldn’t sit still. I took shallow breaths, uneasy.
“You okay?” Jimin asked from behind the curtain, sensing my state.
“I… she just collapsed on me… and- and she was so pale, and so light when I picked her up…”
“She’s… hyung I could never forgive myself if she… I didn’t realize what was going on… all the similarities… how could I not notice? The baggy clothes, e-everything…”
Jimin walked towards me, deep pity in his eyes. “Slow down. She’s stable. I hooked her up to a nutrient IV.”
I was relieved she was stable. But the dreaded question still burned at the back of my mind. “So, she…”
“Yeah…” Jimin murmured. “She is quite underweight.”
I gripped the stretcher in hopes of not losing my balance. Everything spun around me, whispers, whispers behind me, telling me it was my fault.
“Fuck… how could I let that happen under my nose for the second time?”
Jimin’s hand on my shoulder slowed the world’s merciless spinning. I held onto it, forehead beaded with sweat, heart heavy with guilt.
“Jungkook it’s not your fault. Tell me, what could you do? It’s not like you have any control over her eating or something.”
I bit my lip. I knew I was being unreasonable. He sighed again as he offered me a cup of warm tea.
“You’re still the same little kid who always put all the weight of the world on his shoulders, Jungkook; Don’t put yourself through more than what you can handle. You did it in the past: and it didn’t end well.”
I instinctively dragged my left sleeve down to my fist.
“You don’t need to worry about her: she’s not that serious. We can still do plenty for her.”
“When… w-when will she wake up?” I stuttered. He shrugged.
“Maybe in ten minutes, or half an hour; we’ll see how her body reacts to the nutrients. Make sure to be a bit calmer by then. You don’t want to frighten her, don’t you? You’re a mess…” He said, sweetly smiling, fixing my hair.
“Hyung, do you still have… the meds?” The smile faded from his lips. He took the small familiar box out of his pocket.
“Always. But don’t overuse them, okay? You have to try to overcome that without using the meds. If it still doesn’t work, then take one.” He reluctantly handed me the anxiety suppressants. I gripped the box, as if my life actually depended on it. Jimin had a worried look plastered on his face. He placed his hand over mine and gently took the small box away. I was about to protest when he stopped me.
“Wait, Kook, let's do it like this:” I looked at him, puzzled, as he searched through a couple of drawers. He took out an even smaller box, and he put one pill in it, handing it back to me.
“I can't risk you overdosing on those. Not again. If you need help just call me. I'll give you them only when strictly necessary, alright? Your office is just across the corridor, and your apartment is next to mine: please just come to me if you need help. I promise you it's much better, okay?”
I reluctantly nodded. He then hugged me tightly.
“When she wakes up, if she’s strong enough we’ll ask her some questions about this little habit of skipping meals. She lives on campus, so we’ll surely be able to check on her often. Her friend will be glad to help too: I’m sure.”
I nodded, releasing a few shaky breaths. It was going to be fine… Or at least I hoped so.