Chapter Text
Namaari hated hugs.
They were so constricting, circling in on all sides and trapping her like a prisoner in a cage. They were like the canals of water encircling Fang, keeping the rest of the world out and Namaari in.
But Namaari would never dare express that in words.
It made her seem weak, for one thing. No self-respecting warrior got freaked out by a hug. It sounded ridiculous every time she thought about saying it out loud.
Which was why Namaari now found herself pinned against Tong by Sisu’s tail. With Boun clutching her leg. She didn’t have the heart to protest, and besides, you couldn’t just turn down a hug from a dragon.
Namaari breathed a sigh of relief when she was finally released. The tension drained from her shoulders, and she brushed her tank top to rid it of nonexistent wrinkles.
Unfortunately, her sigh came out rather louder than she had intended. Raya raised an eyebrow at her, and Namaari dropped her eyes immediately. She could feel Raya’s gaze growing more intense as the seconds stretched on.
“I didn’t-” she started awkwardly.
“Come on!” said Sisu, plowing enthusiastically right through the awkward moment. “Let’s go fix some families!”
* * * *
“Here we go again,” Namaari muttered to herself, tapping her fingers on the knee that was bent perpendicular to the wall. She leaned back, letting the cold stone cut through the flush that was spreading across her body.
She surveyed the grandeur of her surroundings with slight interest, focusing on the brightly colored decorations and complex architecture rather than on the people. They were gathered in the palace of Heart, nearly a week after the dragons had returned, in celebration.
If Namaari didn’t like hugs, it was safe to assume she didn’t particularly like large crowds either. Large crowds of warriors under her command? No problem; Namaari was a pro at intimidation and strong leadership. But social crowds? It was that feeling of being trapped all over again. Unpredictable, stifling.
So Namaari was doing what Namaari did best: brooding. Although it was more of a sulk, if she was being completely honest.
“Hey dep la,” came a familiar voice.
Namaari let out a sound halfway between a chuckle and a groan.
“Raya,” she said.
“That’s me,” said the princess, leaning up against the wall next to Namaari. “Thought I’d find you hiding in a dark corner somewhere.”
“I am not hiding,” Namaari protested.
Raya raised an eyebrow. “Oh really? Then why is it that you haven’t left this spot, which is particularly secluded, might I add, for the last hour of the party?”
Rolling her eyes, Namaari tried not to think about the implications of the fact that Raya had been watching her for an hour. At least.
“Besides, I thought you liked parties,” said Raya. “We had fun at the one… before.”
“A lot has changed since then,” Namaari replied softly. At the mention of the past, and her first betrayal, she unconsciously shrank into herself. Her eyes flitted across the crowded room, shoulders tensing slightly.
“I’m sorry- I shouldn’t have brought it up,” Raya apologized. Namaari shrugged.
“It’s okay.”
“But… has it really?”
“Has what?” asked Namaari.
“Has a lot changed? Since we… were little.” Raya responded. She shifted slightly against the wall, fixing her eyes on Namaari. The Fang princess found her stare piercing, but not entirely uncomfortable. Not worse than the party, at least.
“I… don’t know,” said Namaari, breaking the silence. “We’ve had to grow up a lot in a short amount of time. You especially.”
“True,” Raya agreed. “But on the other hand…”
Namaari stayed silent.
“You said that, in another world, maybe we could be friends,” said Raya cautiously. The shouts of someone in the background pierced their conversation, and Namaari’s eyes darted around anxiously. Raya pressed forward. “Well, technically we live in a different world now- Kumandra. Does that mean…”
Namaari pushed off from the wall. “I’m sorry, Raya, I just- crowds aren’t really- I need some air.”
“Wait, Namaari-” Raya protested, catching her by the wrist.
Namaari reacted purely on instinct, her self defense training taking over. She whipped back to face Raya, twisting Raya’s arm around while simultaneously bringing her free hand up to break the hold.
Raya’s cry of surprise and pain brought the buzz of conversation in the room to a grinding halt. All eyes fixed on Namaari, still poised in an attack stance.
She froze in horror, eyes flitting from the shock on her mother’s face to the fear in Chief Benja’s, to the pure heartbreak in Sisu’s. Namaari’s mouth opened, trying desperately to explain herself, but nothing came out.
Eyes welling with tears, Namaari did the only thing she knew how to do.
She turned and ran, not bothering to look back at Raya. She weaved through the crowd, keeping her head down and knocking people aside as she went. Everything was a blur, the brightly colored clothes and decorations blending into each other, and Namaari hardly realized when she left the palace altogether. She kept running, vaguely registering the wind whipping past the shaved side of her head.
It wasn’t until the adrenaline left her completely that she sank to her knees, panting.
Oh…. oh no. Raya… Namaari groaned, clutching at her hair. It’s been barely a week since you finally won back Raya’s trust and you go and attack her? You really are a backstabbing binturi…
Namaari squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block out the sobs that threatened to force their way up her throat. Her entire frame shook, and she clenched her fists in a futile attempt to stop the trembling.
This is ridiculous, she told herself. How could you let yourself do this?
“Mind if I sit?” asked Chief Benja.
Namaari shied away from him, wiping furiously at her eyes. Cautiously, he sat down, far enough away to avoid startling Namaari.
“Chief Benja, I swear I didn’t mean to-”
“I know,” he said gently. “It’s going to be alright.”
“But I- I did it again!” Namaari yelled, voice cracking. “I… I hurt Raya again. I keep doing this; I let her in, I convince her that I’m good now, that I’ve changed, and then the minute she trusts me I stab her in the back. I can’t- I can’t take it anymore!’
“Come here,” said Chief Benja, opening his arms.
Namaari threw herself backward, scrabbling away on her hands.
“Stay away!” she yelped. “I- I don’t want to hurt you too.”
Chief Benja, realizing his mistake, nodded, letting his arms fall to his sides.
“My apologies, Princess,” he said. “I should’ve known you take after your mother.”
“My- my mother?”
“Yes,” said Chief Benja with a small chuckle. “Virana is not one for physical contact either. I learned that the hard way, in much the same fashion as you did. Of course, this was when our lands were still at war, so my attempt at a genuine hug was rather more suspicious than yours.”
Namaari sniffled, listening with wide eyes.
“Can I come closer?” asked the Chief. “I won’t touch you, I promise.”
A small nod.
“Ah, that’s better,” he said, edging closer to Namaari and allowing himself to lean back against the stone. “Old bones, you know.”
“Why are you here?” asked Namaari bluntly.
“Straight to the point, I see,” chuckled the Chief. “Reminds me of my own dewdrop. Raya, that is.”
Namaari’s eyes clouded over at the mention of Raya. “She’s never going to trust me again,” she muttered darkly.
“Oh, I wouldn’t be so sure,” Chief Benja said. “She’s more understanding than you might think.”
“But I-”
“You made an honest mistake,” interrupted Chief Benja. His voice was firm, yet kind. “Our lands have been at war for all of your life; understandably you have been trained as a warrior. You acted on pure instinct, nothing more. If there’s one thing that Raya understands, it’s the instincts of someone trying to protect themselves.”
Namaari’s shoulders slumped, and she avoided Chief Benja’s eyes. For the first time since her frantic flight from the castle, she let her gaze take in the surroundings.
Much to her surprise, she recognized them.
They were on the bridge.
“You recognize this place, don’t you?” asked Chief Benja.
“How could I not?” she murmured. “That night. It haunted my nightmares for so many years afterward. The Druun, the gem pieces. My mother pulling me along, keeping me moving. I can’t imagine what it must have been like for Raya- having to watch you turn to stone right in front of her...”
“But thanks to you, now I’m back,” Chief Benja said.
“No, I wasn’t the one who-”
“Yes, you were,” he insisted. “Namaari, Raya may have taken the first step in trusting you, but you were the one chosen to reassemble the gem pieces. Not her. You saved the world, and brought back Kumandra.”
Namaari bit her lip, tears beginning to stream down her face.
“You are special, Namaari. Raya sees it- has always seen it, in fact. I don’t think your actions tonight will change anything. People make mistakes.”
“But I’ve made so many,” she sobbed.
Chief Benja sighed. “But when the time came, you did what needed to be done- what was right. And now this, all of this,” he gestured around him, “is here because of you. None of your mistakes can take that away.”
Namaari stayed silent, letting noiseless sobs shake her body.
“You are all still so young,” said Chief Benja. He seemed to realize that Namaari wasn’t going to be doing any more talking. “You were just children when the gem broke- and it robbed you of your childhoods. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I first saw Raya again… my little dewdrop is a real warrior now.”
Namaari hiccuped, another bout of tears shaking her body. Chief Benja continued.
“I admire you both in so many ways. Smart, resourceful, intelligent, highly capable. Our world will be in good hands once I and your mother have gone.”
“How can you say that?” said Namaari. “How could anyone trust me to lead after all that I’ve done?”
“All that you’ve done will teach you,” the Chief said. “There is no teacher like experience. Experience is a much harsher, crueler way to learn, but it has created some of the finest leaders of our lands. I trust that, in time, you will be one of them, Namaari.”
Hesitantly, Chief Benja reached out with one hand.
The Fang princess startled slightly as she felt the touch on her back, but it was light and soothing. It circled lightly, up and down, never staying in one place for too long.
It was the comfort of a hug without the constrictive feeling that made Namaari so uncomfortable.
The sky darkened around them, the Heart Chief and the Fang Princess, crouched in their corner of the world. It was a moment of peace, one of the first in generations.
At length, Chief Benja wordlessly got to his feet, offering Namaari his hand.
She took it, wiping the last of her tears from her face as she stood.
“I’ll see to it that you get a room to yourself tonight,” Chief Benja said. “You deserve some rest.”
Namaari couldn’t honestly imagine herself falling asleep, but she nodded somberly. “Thank you.”
Chief Benja smiled, his dark eyes crinkling. “Oh, and Namaari?”
“Yes?”
“Should you be interested, Raya was indeed watching you just as closely as you were watching her. During the party, I mean.”
Namaari choked. “I don’t-”
“There’s things to mend in your friendship first,” said Chief Benja placatingly. “I’m not suggesting you go there right away. But, when you’re ready…”
A dusky blush stole its way over Namaari’s face. “In all honesty, Chief Benja, there’s a long way I need to go before I’m ready for that.”
“I admire that you recognize that,” he responded. “If I can offer one word of advice?”
Namaari tilted her head.
“Don’t wait too long. Life is short, and it’s wise to make the most of it.”
“Thank you, Chief Benja,” said Namaari, inclining her head respectfully. “I’ll keep that in mind.”