Chapter Text
Alphys needed to get a bigger couch. Or a guest room, or, or something. Or maybe she just needed to learn how to make her doors phase-proof. (She was sure she’d made the electronic lock impossible to hack, so Mettaton must have retained some of his ghost abilities, no matter how much he played ignorant.)
Anyway. It wasn’t like she minded her friends crashing in her living room. But the small skeleton monster flopped on Mettaton’s chest was definitely not one she’d seen before.
And, well, there were only so many possibilities for where an unfamiliar skeleton child could’ve come from. The thought was both incredibly awkward, and sort of validating? She’d written plenty of Papyton fanfiction, but she’d never imagined that the two of them would… well!
“M-Mettaton?” She shook one of his shoulder plates before remembering that she’d have to unplug his charging cable.
He bolted upright when she did so.
“Alphys?” He rubbed his eyes and stretched luxuriously, not acknowledging the child lying on him at all. “What is it, darling? You know how I feel about my charging cycle being interrupted.”
“Um. W-well, I was just coming downstairs for some two AM ramen—th-that’s not important, though—anyway! I just? Wondered if you knew, um, that there’s a kid on you?”
Mettaton looked down at his lap, where the tiny skeleton had slid down without waking. He didn’t look surprised, though he did suddenly appear uncomfortable.
“Well. Welly well well.” He cleared his throat. “Can’t this wait until morning?”
“N-not if you’re going to keep living on my couch!” She had to put her foot down somewhere! “I don’t have anything ch-childproofed! What if they get into my lab and hurt themself? Besides, shouldn’t you be sleeping with Papyrus if you…”
Her face heated. Mettaton looked confused for a moment before her words sunk in.
“Oh. You. Ha ha. Alphys, darling, you have the wrong idea.” He forced a grin.
“Then surely you can explain why you’re sleeping with a skeleton child that clearly feels comfortable with you?”
The child let out a soft snore. Alphys couldn’t tell how old they were—they didn’t look like a baby, but then again, she was no expert on the skeleton life cycle. Especially if one of the parents happened to be a ghost-slash-robot. They were wearing an MTT-Brand striped sweater, at least, so they definitely weren’t just a small skeleton like Sans.
Oh my gosh. SANS. Alphys’s eyes went wide.
“If Papyrus isn’t the other father, th-then is it—?”
A look of horror crossed Mettaton’s face.
“It’s not Sans. Ew.”
“Oh thank goodness.” She let out a sigh of relief. Besides, she was pretty sure Sans had a thing for Toriel.
“This whole situation is… complicated, darling.” Mettaton looked away. “I’m sorry I didn’t warn you. I didn’t know that they would be staying with me, or I would have booked a room at the resort.”
Alphys never understood why Mettaton didn’t stay at his resort anyway. But she usually appreciated the company, so she never asked. She liked to think that maybe he just liked to hang out with her, like they used to back when they were both just giant losers.
“Okay,” she relented. “I know more than anyone about secrets. I won’t force you to talk about it if you’re not ready.”
She stared down at the little skeleton, who was still sleeping peacefully. They certainly didn’t share Papyrus’s insomnia—assuming he really was the other father. Alphys still couldn’t think of any other sensible explanation.
Mettaton gratefully took her hand and kissed the top of her knuckles.
“You’re the best of the best, Alphys.”
She was supposed to add a but afterwards, but Mettaton still looked exhausted. She’d get better answers out of him in the morning.
Failing that, she could always talk to the little skeleton themself.
“Yeah, yeah, save the flattery for your fans. Or your boyfriend.”
She couldn’t help smirking when he blushed.
“Ha ha… yes. Of course.”
She picked up his charging cord, but before plugging it in, she looked back over her shoulder.
“Um, I forgot to ask,” she said. “What’s their name?”
“Their—their name?” Mettaton’s eyes were as blank as a crashing copy of Windows Vista.
“They do have a name, right?” Her brow furrowed. “Skeletons are named after their fonts, aren’t they?”
“Yes! Um, typically. You see, my… child… is not an ordinary skeleton, in the traditional sense…”
Alphys closed her eyes and waved a hand. “Okay, okay. I don’t need to know how they were created, thanks.”
Mettaton chuckled. “Please, darling. I wouldn’t share anything vulgar. I was just going to say that as they have Blook heritage, they will get to choose their own name, when they are ready. Which they most definitely are not. So please do not ask them or anyone else about it.”
“R-right.” Ghosts could be touchy about names; she should have seen that coming. At least she now knew for sure that the skeleton child was his. “Well, um, goodnight then? And? Let me know if they need anything??”
“Of course, beautiful. Thank you.”
The statement was less flowery than usual, but she could feel the weight behind it. She smiled back and plugged in his cable.
As he powered down, she went back upstairs to her room. Who needed ramen when she had a new Papyton fanfic to draft?