Chapter Text
“Donghyuck-ah, please stop playing so much games. Your Doyoung hyung will turn into an angry bird once again if he finishes cooking and you’re still not in the dining room.”
Donghyuck grinned before glancing at NCT’s leader who had situated himself against the doorframe.
“Just one more round and then I’m out of here, Taeyong hyung,” Donghyuck cutely whined. “I promise~”
He knew it was unhealthy to continue playing games when NCT 127 have a fully-loaded schedule the day after and not to mention he had a 4-hour dance practice with the Dreamies right after. But just like what Donghyuck had said during one of their interviews, playing games was for his mental stability. It wasn’t a joke, by the way!
When the tanned-skinned youngest heard Taeyong hum, he knew his persuasion had succeeded. Just like always.
“Alright, kiddo! Just make sure to eat dinner before Youngho inhales them all. He is coming from the gym and I’m pretty sure he’s starving like a bull.”
Donghyuck gave his hyung a thumbs up before focusing back on the computer screen. The sound of the door closing should be heard by now but only the sounds of the ticks and tacks from the keyboard could be heard. It was an obvious indication that the leader still hadn’t left the room. When he briefly looked back, Taeyong was looking at him with what looked to be a fond expression. The legendary ‘Taeyong Mom Mode’ had activated, Donghyuck noticed.
“Do you still need anything, Taeyong hyung?”
The leader hummed, “Nah! I just feel so overwhelmed right now looking at you. You have grown so much, Donghyuckie—or should I say Dongsookie?”
Donghyuck whined. He gave his hyung a glare which was returned by a smile. “That was one time, hyung! You wouldn’t let me live that off, would you?”
“Nope! Finish that game faster, okay? Help me bring some food to your hyungs on the 10th floor.”
“Fine. Fine.”
“Donghyuck-ah? Donghyuck-ah, it’s time to wake up! We have practice soon!”
A voice could be heard from Donghyuck’s left ear and he groaned before turning to the other side.
“Lee Donghyuckie! It’s time to wake up, brat. The kids are already waiting for you outside.”
“Johnny hyung, five more minutes!” The tanned male pulled his blanket closer to his chest. An airy chuckle resonated throughout the room and that was when Donghyuck realized that he did it again.
The owner of the voice softly pulled the blanket away from him. “Sorry to inform you but I’m not your Johnny hyung, Hyuck!”
Donghyuck’s mouth and eyes closed shut. A heavy sigh waiting to be released.
“I know.” Donghyuck’s hands shook terribly on his sides. “I’m sorry, Chan hyung. It won’t happen again.”
“I know you miss them, Donghyuckie but you have to focus on yourself first. I know you’re hurting and just so you know, I want to help you as much as possible. The kids too.”
The sincerity and concern were oozing on the voice of the group’s leader and it urged Donghyuck to sit up and face the guy. He offered the red-haired male a small smile before reaching for his hand. He gave it a gentle squeeze and immediately got one in return.
Of course! The great Bang Chan never disappoints.
“I know, hyung and you know I would forever be grateful to you and the kids. I also know I could be a burden to you sometimes but you still accepted me. You gave me a home when I lost mine and a family when they left me behind,” Donghyuck stared at Chan’s eyes and smiled as sincerely as he could. “Really, hyung! You had saved my ass more than you could ever think. You’re amazing, Chan hyung! And the kids are the best although Minho hyung and Changbin hyung would definitely skin me alive if I call them kids.”
That made the other guy chuckle. Their hands were still clasped together and Donghyuck felt how his morning became infinitely times better already.
“Minho has always been a tsundere type but I know he appreciates you so much. He told me how you are the group’s lucky charm now,” the leader grinned happily. “And Yongbokkie told me he baked some banana loaf bread for you. It is actually a surprise so you didn’t hear that from me!” And the statement was followed by a wink.
“I’ll tell Felix you told me that!”
***
“Donghyuck-ssi verbally attacked two of the trainees!”
“I witnessed it too!”
“He is horrible. He needs to be punished.”
It immediately got out of hand and everything was all over the place. Donghyuck tried to reason out to everyone—their managers, the directors, the staff, and his members—of course, but no one bothered to stop to hear him out.
Violence, in all forms, was something SM Entertainment would never tolerate even if the alleged perpetrator came from one of the company’s top groups nowadays.
Donghyuck. Verbal violence. Attacked two trainees.
Those three things in one sentence just wouldn’t sit well with him at all. Donghyuck knew he can be very harsh and sharp-tongued most of the time but he knew he could never do that. And to SM trainees on top of that! Heck! Among the members of NCT, Donghyuck was one of those who always schedule a time to visit their trainees, especially when he knew that some of them might possibly debut in NCT.
Everything got out of hand and the next thing he knew, the entire NCT unit (except those currently promoting in China) was summoned to the office of the president. The board of directors had yet to enter the room and all of them were impatiently waiting for what was about to happen. The older members were all giving him looks of disappointment from time to time while the younger ones looked as if they still couldn’t believe this was happening.
Donghyuck couldn’t blame the Dreamies though because he, too, was so confused and baffled right now. Jisung, who was sitting on his right side and Chenle on his left were constantly giving him side hugs. An action that was very much appreciated by him.
He felt incredibly sick as he braced himself for the decision of the company’s higher-ups.
“SM Entertainment cannot overlook such violent acts, Donghyuck-ssi,” the president announced and Donghyuck felt like he was about to topple over on the floor. “And because of this, you are officially removed from the company, the group, and all of its activities now and in the future.”
Donghyuck couldn’t hear anything anymore. He was removed from the group? From SM Entertainment? Just because of an accusation that was never proven in the first place? His heart was throbbing wildly and painfully against his chest and he felt so sick and nauseous.
What about his dreams? What about his family that was relying on him? What about NCT 127? What about the Dreamies? What about his sunflowers? What about him?
“The company will give you until tonight to pack up your bags and return everything that is company-owned…”
Why wasn’t anyone giving him the chance to defend himself? Why were his hyungs keeping quiet and just listening to the president? Why were Taeyong, Taeil, Johnny, and Doyoung not saying anything? Or at least Yuta? Jaehyun? Jungwoo? Why were the Dream members looked like it was the end of the world? Did they really believe Donghyuck committed such an act?
And Mark… why was Mark looking at him like he was the worst person on the planet? Shouldn’t he be the first one to defend him and his honor? Or, at the very least, his place in the group? They were the best of friends.
“I’m so disappointed, Donghyuck-ah,” the president sighed. “I will give you all time to take this in,” he added before leaving the room.
At that point, tears were streaming quietly on his cheeks. But despite of all of that, Donghyuck was confident though. He was more than sure his hyungs would try to reason out and ask for a formal investigation on the matter.
His members… his dear members would defend him. He was sure of that. They never let Donghyuck down before. They were always there to support him and defend him from everything and everyone.
His members…
“Why did you do that, Donghyuck-ah?”
Donghyuck was more than sure before that NCT will always have his back but he wasn’t so sure now.
“We are so disappointed in you!”
His members never let him down before…
So, why now?
***
“Donghyuck hyung, catch!”
Thanks to his unbelievably fast reflexes, Donghyuck successfully managed to catch the water bottle that Felix had thrown his way. All eight—well, nine members of Stray Kids were scattered around the spacious practice room after a groveling six hours of nonstop rehearsing.
Prior to officially joining the group just a few weeks ago, Stray Kids was set to perform in an award show and that event was also now set to be Donghyuck’s first time performing with the band on live television.
Stray Kids obviously had a set of hard and challenging choreographies but he wasn’t an NCT member for nothing. He immediately got a hang of most choreographies in no time and that somehow amazed the other members.
“I still can’t believe you literally memorized and mastered God’s Menu in less than two days.” Donghyuck gave a playful wink to Minho who had chosen to sit beside him.
“That’s the famous Donghyuck power, Minho hyung,” he laughed as he passed the water bottle to the older who appeared like he was about to pass out.
Minho—or people knew him as Lee Know—and Chan were the members who had helped him the most in mastering the dance routines. Changbin, Hyunjin, and Han were mostly the ones teaching him the do’s, don’ts, and tips to survive in JYP Entertainment. Seungmin and Jeongin, on the other hand, were the members joining and supporting him during his vocal practices.
“Hyung…” Donghyuck softly called out for Minho’s attention. Minho hummed and he took that as his cue to continue. “Do you really think Stays would love me? Do you think I won’t disappoint them?”
The older male looked at him incredulously at first before chuckling.
“I thought we talked about this, Hyuck. Heck! If I heard it right, Chan and you had a heart-to-heart talk about this matter three nights ago,” Minho playfully hit his thigh. “Stays love you like their own already. Remember the official announcement we made on Vlive last week? When you first introduced yourself as Stray Kids Donghyuck and not as NCT Haechan? They were confused at first but eventually, they love you. You’re adorable, Hyuckie and it’s not hard to grow fond of you or love you. You will never disappoint them because Stays are not like that and I’m pretty sure NCTzens will also love you as you are. Whether you’re in NCT or in Stray Kids, it doesn’t matter. And don’t forget your own Sunflowers,” the main dancer smiled. “Didn’t they say that they will continuously support you on your journey as a Stray Kids member? Hell! Your addition to the group added lots of fans in our fan base and we for sure are not complaining.”
Donghyuck fiddled with his fingers as he looked down. Minho's words were far too genuine... far too kind. It was almost as if he were Mar—no! That was a complete sham.
“You sure, hyung?” He shyly asked and when he heard Minho cackling like crazy, he looked up.
“If it will make you feel better, just know that the kids and I are also Sunflowers,” Minho whispered to his ears and Donghyuck swallowed down a blush with a small smile.
Just as he was about to playfully shove the older male away from him, the leader of the group called for his name from the other side of the room.
“Donghyuck-ah, can you help me with this part of the song?”
Minho and he simultaneously looked at Bang Chan who was gazing at him expectantly. He offered the older a quick thumbs-up before he started stretching his legs for a bit. Minho gently tug at his wrist and leaned closer to his ears.
“This is a secret but that stupid Christopher Bang Chan is the biggest Sunflower of all whether you’re in Stray Kids, NCT, or whatever. Don’t tell him I said that!” And Minho winked at him before pushing him away.
“Donghyuck hyung, please! Please don’t go. Don’t give up! This is not the end.”
Jisung didn’t know how long he had been crying and bawling his eyes out. All he knew was that his Donghyuck hyung was leaving and apparently, not one of his hyungs was making an effort to stop him.
“Jisung-ah, listen to me…” Donghyuck gave him a small smile and although the older was smiling, Jisung knew how much he was hurting. Donghyuck had always been like that since the time he first met him several years ago. He was selfless beyond description and would try his best not to be an inconvenience to others even to his own expense.
Donghyuck stopped folding his clothes in favor of holding Jisung’s hands with his own. “Listen to me carefully, okay? Always take care of yourself, hmm? You’re not a little child anymore and Donghyuck hyung wouldn’t always be here to remind you to drink your medicine or to take some rest in between practices. You may not know where your vitamins and the pain relievers are but Renjun and Jaemin do so make sure to ask them. You should also take care of Chenle and protect him from the bad people…” Donghyuck’s voice cracked and Jisung had to stifle a loud sob.
He knew very well who Donghyuck was referring to when he used the term ‘bad people’. Haters! Those people who wished to break NCT just because they wanted to.
“…You can also ask your Jeno hyung or uhmm… Mark hyung if you need help with your parts. And for your recordings in the future, just look briefly at the sun before entering the booth so you would know I would always be there to support you and watch you get praised by everyone.”
Jisung violently shook his head. His grip on Donghyuck’s hands was getting harder and harder.
“Hyung, no! I don’t want to! I don’t want to look at the sun. I want to look at you and your proud smiles. Chenle and I need you, hyung. You know we can’t record any song without you…”
“Jisung-ah…”
“NO! I know you didn’t do it, hyung. I trust you more than anyone in this group and I know you didn’t do it. I don’t know what their deal is but it’s just so unfair, Donghyuck hyung. I don’t want them to take you away!”
His Donghyuck hyung removed his hands from his hold and wordlessly embraced him. For the last time? Jisung wouldn’t like to think so.
“Thank you for always believing in me, Jisungie. You don’t know how much that means to me right now.”
Jisung closed his eyes as he tried inhaling the scent that wasn’t Haechan of NCT but Lee Donghyuck, his hyung.
“Where will you go, hyung?”
“I don’t know, Jisungie.”
“Hyung, you won’t give up, right? Chenle and I are fighting, hyung. He is talking to the other hyungs right now about a possible appeal,” Jisung whispered. “Donghyuck hyung, please? Please tell me you’re not giving up.”
It was like a quick and unexpected race. You didn’t know you were one of the participants until the very last minute. And it was like a blur to Jisung. A painful blur that still confused the hell out of him.
All he knew was that he was messing around with his Dream hyungs inside the practice room when they were all summoned and not even an hour had passed and they were now a member short. It all happened too fast and his Donghyuck hyung was the unfortunate one who had been inserted in the race at the very last second.
“Hyung, promise me.”
Donghyuck was so important and valuable to him that Jisung would volunteer to carry the older’s torch until he could pick himself up and finish the race.
“I’m sorry, Jisungie. Donghyuck hyung is terribly sorry. Now come on. Help me pack, maknae.”
And that was when Jisung felt like his world had stopped. It was useless carrying Donghyuck’s torch. There was no point doing that now as he realized that his hyung was not on the track anymore.
“That’s it for today, kids.”
Jisung looked up from tying his shoelace when he heard their choreographer sigh. Beads and beads of sweat were rolling down his face and clinging to every part of his body but Jisung knew he needed it. He badly needed the distraction.
“I could see that all of you are still distracted from what happened and I really couldn’t blame you. I want to ask you all one thing though. Please try your best to concentrate tomorrow and the days after. You have an upcoming performance and we want to show your fans and the world that you are still you. That NCT Dream could work as a six-member unit. You already did it before, kiddos!”
But it was different. We knew before that Mark hyung was coming back. Donghyuck hyung was not.
“Feel free to use the room as long as you wish.” And their choreographer offered them a kind smile before exiting the practice room. Jisung roamed his eyes around and his fists clenched at the sight of his unbothered hyungs.
Jeno and Jaemin were lying on the floor, cuddling. Renjun was holding his phone and appeared to be scrolling through Twitter. Mark, who was probably the most unaffected and unbothered, was practicing one of Boom's more complicated parts. Jisung couldn't believe what he was seeing.
How could they act like everything was okay when nothing was the same ever since that night? Jisung couldn’t understand them at all. Donghyuck was kicked out of the group. Their sunshine. Their energizer. Their childhood best friend, for heaven’s sake!
“Control yourself, Jisung!”
Jisung snapped out of his trance when he felt a hand on his shoulder.
Chenle.
Chenle and Jisung were the only ones who had truly fought for Donghyuck’s position until the end. They were the only ones who were sane enough to believe that Donghyuck didn’t do anything wrong. But it was a fight they failed to win when the person they were fighting for was the same one who had told them to just let it go. That the damage had been done and it will only be a fruitless fight from that moment on.
“Look at them, Lele,” Jisung briefly motioned for the other members of NCT Dream. “Look at this mess called NCT.”
“Donghyuck hyung has Stray Kids now. Aren’t you happy for him?”
Oh, he was overjoyed! Actually, more than overjoyed that Donghyuck didn't abandon his dreams of being an idol. But a small part of his mind kept reminding him that Donghyuck wouldn't have had to do that if SM had been able to protect him. He would still be in NCT if only they had taken their time hearing him out.
Almost all of the members watched Stray Kids’ Vlive some nights ago since the press release included the name of their former member. Most of the members were hypocrites, Jisung would like to believe. It was obvious that they still flinch every single time Donghyuck’s name was mentioned and yet they were acting like they were okay with it.
When they were watching the live that night, Jisung tried his best not to cry at the sight of his hyung. Donghyuck looked tired and extremely worn out and yet his bright, priceless smile was still there. The moment the older introduced himself as Stray Kids Donghyuck, Jisung felt like he had lost it.
It should be NCT Haechan.
He willed himself not to snatch his phone and leave a comment and he knew for sure that Chenle was contemplating the same thought.
I miss you, hyung! Please come back!
But it wasn’t easy. There were lots of pairs of eyes observing his every move and he wasn’t sure if Donghyuck would appreciate it.
“I heard a crucial news from one of the managers outside when I went to take a bathroom break,” Chenle leaned closer, eyes darting in every direction to see if someone was listening to them.
“What is it?”
“Remember the award show we will attend next week?”
“Yeah? What about it?”
“Stray Kids is in the lineup!” Chenle beamed at him. “You know what that means, right?”
“We are going to see Donghyuck hyung!” Jisung’s eyes widened in excitement.
“That’s right!”
As much as Jisung would love to have Donghyuck back in the group, he was also aware of how NCT destroyed him. His members turned their backs on him and it was the worst of all.
And so, if Donghyuck found himself healing in another group that hopefully won’t do the same his group did, then Jisung was more than willing to support his hyung from afar.
If you find yourself happy and healing now in your new group, Donghyuck hyung, then Chenle and I will finally let you go.
It wasn’t easy on his part, of course but Jisung knew they were still under the same lights anyway.