Chapter Text
He was tired, just fucking exhausted. Everything felt so heavy, he felt like the world was on his shoulders alone. And he carried it constantly, pretending he was fine. More than fine, smiling constantly, giving reassurance, telling everyone it was okay. Being what he always needed for other never asking for it in return.
I’m fine, man. Your the one who looks like crud.
No, don’t worry about me. What about you I heard about what happened the other day, you okay?
Seriously, I’m great! You just went through all of that how are you?
Sorry I just didn’t get enough sleep last night. Nah it’s okay just noisy neighbors.
Day in and day out being the unbreakable Red Riot he /needed/ to be. Never asking for anything, always being a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, a person who supposably gave great advice. What else was he suppose to be? He could never burden anyone with how he was really feeling. They were already going through so much he didn’t need to put his own issues on top of that. He’d be fine, he’s unbreakable right.
/Wrong/
Waking up in a hospital was nothing new for the pro hero. Facing attack after attack leaves you often needing some time in the sterile white space to recoup. Your body needs time to heal after getting beat up by bad guys all day, even with something like a hardening quirk. But last he remembers he was home? Yeah, he was home, in the bathtubs getting the blood off.
“Goddamnit RED! You go the whole ass mission without barely a scratch and what almost takes you falling asleep in the tub!?”
Of course he was here. No doubt flashing his hero license in some poor hospital lobby ladies face screaming at him despite it being way past visiting hours.
“Sorry Ei he’s just been on edge all day today. How are you feeling?”
It was then he finally felt his body all at once. His ribs felt like an elephant had sat on them crushing them. His back ached and his head felt like it was about to implode. And his wrists……
“Guess my ribs hurt a bit but other than that I guess I’m okay.”
“You better not be fucking lying. I found your nurse on the way here and she wouldn’t tell me shit but, I called your mom and she said-“
“Sorry again Eijiro, the doctor said that it’d be best for him to tell you what exactly happened after you get a psyc eval.”
“How the fuck do you know! I’m his emergency contact why did the doctor talk to you?”
“Being number one and nice does have its perks Kacchan.”
“Your gonna fucking get it! Do you want to die Izuku?? Because I hope you have your will figured out!!”
“Kirishima Eijiro?”
A soft feminine voice cuts through Katsuki’s gruff yelling and everything goes silent. Kastuki becomes still, his eyes full of pity? Red meets red as Katsuki gives a sad smile toward his friend before walking out the door. Izuku also gives a sad smile, tears edging along his emrald eyes. The two men walk out of the sad sterile room. Him left alone to stare at this new women.
“Hi Kirishima. Or you would rather I call you Eijiro?”
“Uhhhh, I mean either work but who are you?”
“Oh sorry, I’m Sen Kanki a therapist here at the hospital. I’m here to do a psych evaluation.”
“Why? I mean I know I fell asleep in the tub but I’m fine.”
“Kirishima I’m gonna be honest with you. After hearing about your accident I contacted several of your friends and family. Bakugo was kind enough to offer me thier numbers. I asked them how they thought you were mental health wise and I got some poor answers. Also your wrists, they looked like self inflicted marks. You are free to correct me if I’m wrong but thats what they looked like.”
“I…..I’m sorry.”
“Hey, it’s okay. I’m not mad or upset, just concerned. I want you to be happy and healthy, it’s my job to see where you are right now and then help you get on the path to being happier and healthier.”
“Okay.”
“Okay. I’m sorry but these questions are going to be a bit personal, if you ever need a breather just let me know. You can answer however much in detail you like okay.”
Eijiro nods his heads.
He answered every question thrown. He realized just how bad it was while answering, if any of his friends answered like this he’d be devastated. Feeling like he failed them, like he did something wrong.
That day was how he ended up here.
Dr. Aki Aruku’s office. Every Saturday 1-1:30pm, he brought a blanket bought by Kastuki while he was recovering and a green bunny stuffed animal Izuku bought to keep him company while he was put on work leave. He named it ‘Zuku thinking it was a good way to remind him of the green haired hero while he was gone.
Dr. Aruku’s office was nice, it was filled with blankets and pillows, books, colors adorned the walls with hero posters sometime thrown in for good measure. She was a family therapist dealing with lots of children and families but she was recommended to him because Sen thought he needed that sort of comfort Aruku was able to provide. She was very excited to meet him, thinking he was an amazing hero, and telling him how many of the kids she met with liked him quite a lot.
And thats how thier first session was spent. Talking about life, her’s as a therapist and his as a hero. It was very nice he’d like to think it was enjoyable for both parties.
Eventually Dr. Aruku dug where no one had gone before. Learning every bit about him she could possibly find out. Asking question after question, it was exhausting. One day she brought up something that Eijrio hadn’t heard before. Most of the coping machisms suggested he already knew. Breathing techniques, meditation, reaching out for help, taking a walk, little things he knew of but never really tried to do before.
“Age regression in therapy is usually done with a therapist used to more examine a patient and use it to look more into how they possibly acted as a child. But many people us it more as a coping mechanism recreationally. I think it’s something that could benefit you. Especially if you had someone you trusted to look after you while you are in that headspace.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll help you learn more about it. But I do want you to do some of your own stuff. Your homework for this week is to go out buy things off of this list and try to regress.”
Eventually after six months he finally got into it. He could use it when needed. He also had two wonderful people who were always there to make sure he would never hurt himself while regressed. It helped a lot and he did it as often as needed. When the stress got to be too much and he had the time, he’d call his two most called numbers and start getting set up.