Chapter Text
“They want to start a fight,” the Doctor explained. “Whatever they say, do not react.”
“But why do they wanna fight?” Rose protested. “We haven’t done anything to offend them, have we?”
Jack shrugged. Truthfully, he wasn’t particularly interested in the answer. The Savachanlars wanted to fight? Well, of course they did. He didn’t know much about this species, but their love for combat was quite famous. And Jack wouldn’t have minded giving them a run for their money, had he travelled with any other people. There were sometimes interesting prizes to be won, in Savachanlars fights. But neither Rose nor the Doctor would approve.
And that was the heart of the matter, wasn’t it? Right now, Jack didn’t care that much for prizes. He wanted his travelling companions to like him. Which was a bit pathetic, really, because first, what kind of stupid goal was that? and second, there was no way he would ever reach it.
To be fair, Jack amended to himself, Rose probably liked him well enough. But she was naïve; he had charmed her way too easily. And although she was friendly now, she didn’t trust him completely. She hadn’t forgotten his attempt to con her, and there were many things in Jack’s past that would utterly disgust her, if she were to ever learn about them.
The Doctor knew. The Doctor had barely needed one good look at Jack to understand what kind of man he was, really. The former Time Agent was still amazed that he had been allowed to board the Tardis at all. The Doctor had mainly invited Jack in to please Rose, that much was obvious.
However much Jack ached to prove himself to his companions, he knew that it was doomed to fail. He had known it from the beginning, really. The clever thing to do would have been to run away as fast as possible, but he had stupidly allowed himself to stay with them for a while, and… and now he really didn’t want to leave. He liked both Rose and the Doctor much more than he should have. Even though they would never return his feelings. Even though they were obviously in love with each other and had no room for a third person.
And Jack couldn’t blame them. He wasn’t angry with his companions; he was angry with himself. If he had been a better man... If he had sometimes listened to the inner voice that reminded him he should care for the consequences of his actions... If he hadn’t spent years carefully cultivating a mask that had now become etched in his skin, just like the gas mask on that kid’s face…
Shut up. Just stop thinking about that.
But he was still angry. The Savachanlars wanted a fight? Yeah, Jack wouldn’t have minded giving them a good one, just to blow off some steam.
It was a bad idea, he knew it. Besides, the Doctor had ordered him not to do it anyway. Jack held back a sigh and tried to focus on what Rose was saying.
“And we landed on a place where everyone wants to fight for what reason, exactly?”
“Humph,” the Time Lord grunted. “The Tardis took us here.”
Rose rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I noticed, thanks. But I distinctly remember you saying something about a peaceful visit on a planet where we could taste amazing cakes that are, and I quote, ‘usually not poisonous to humans’. So where are the cakes? Or the peaceful aliens, for that matter?”
The Doctor harrumphed. “We might not have landed exactly when I thought we would.”
“Not exactly, meaning?”
“Maybe a few centuries late,” the Time Lord grudgingly admitted. “But it’s not my fault! See, Savachanlars used to fight only amongst themselves. How was I supposed to know that they considered it an honour to fight aliens now?”
Rose shook her head. “You don’t actually know how to fly your Tardis, do you?”
“Course I do! I’m a great pilot!” the Doctor protested.
“Yeah, right. Sometimes I wonder how you even got the licence for this thing.”
“Well, I might not have obtained the licence, per se,” the alien conceded. “But my point still stands!”
“What? No, it doesn’t! What kind of pilot doesn’t even have a licence?”
Jack tried to force the corners of his mouth to move upwards as the Doctor replied, feigning a mortal offense, but it was hard. He usually enjoyed his companions’ banter a lot, and on any another day, he would have joined it, flirting outrageously with them both, doing his best to make Rose laugh and desperately trying to get a smile from the Doctor, but…
He had been dreaming, that night. About Gray. About their mother.
x-x-x
He had become too confident. Jack was almost seventeen now, and he was really good at telling stories. He could make his mother happy with tales about Gray’s wonderful adventures at his boarding school, he could keep the neighbours from worrying about his mother barely leaving the house by explaining that she was working very hard on a new art project, and he had recently discovered that he could kiss whoever he wanted, if he just found the right lie to tell them.
Things were getting better. Mother had fewer episodes, these days. She usually knew who Jack was, she often remembered to give him food, and she was almost affectionate, sometimes.
He had become too confident.
It had been ages since she had last blamed him for Gray’s death. Mainly because Jack had managed to convince her that he was still alive. He still felt guilty about that, of course, but… what was the alternative? The neighbours had been suspicious, recently, especially after the really bad days, when Jack had bruises that he couldn’t hide.
Lies made everything better. Who needed the truth, when Jack was so good at telling everyone exactly what they wanted to hear?
But good things couldn’t last. He was still young and naïve, back then. He didn’t understand that yet.
He had become too confident, and that was a mistake.
The day had been great. He had met William in the parc, they had kissed under a tree, and they had even explored each other a little through their clothes. He couldn’t wait to tell Nina about it – maybe the three of them could go on a date together? Nina certainly seemed to find William hot.
The sight of his mother, completely dishevelled and wearing only a nightdress, stopped him dead in his daydreaming. She was outside! She couldn’t go outside like that!
Jack ran towards her, but she was already in the middle of the street.
“Is there something wrong, Mother?” he asked, struggling to keep his voice calm. Maybe it wasn’t that bad. He just needed to get her somewhere more hidden, and–
“You lied to me!” the woman yelled. “You monster! You told me he was fine! But he’s not fine, and it’s all your fault!”
“Mother, please, go back inside,” Jack prayed, trying to will tears away from his eyes. “Just go back to the house, okay? I’ll explain everything.”
“Liar! You won’t explain, you’ll just feed me more lies! Ungrateful bastard!” She paused. “It should have been you,” she said. Her voice was much calmer all of a sudden, but her eyes were crazier than Jack had ever seen them. “They should have taken you that day, not Gray. Gray would never lie to me.”
“I’m sorry,” Jack murmured. The fight against tears was a lost cause now. “I’m sorry, Mam, I’m so, so sorry.”
“Hey, it’s okay, lad.” Jack’s head bolted upright. But it wasn’t Mother; it was the old Mrs Kryous, the nice woman from across the street. “I think your mother had something of a shock, but I’m sure everything will be okay. Why don’t you both come to my house for some tea? It might help with your nerves.”
The young boy frantically shook his head. “That’s very kind of you, Mrs Kryous, but there’s no need for that, I’ll just bring her back to our place and–”
“Nonsense,” the grey-haired lady interrupted sternly. “You’re both clearly unwell, and I want to help.”
“You can’t,” Jack murmured. “No one can.”
But she wasn’t listening; she had put a friendly hand on his mother’s shoulder and was trying to calm her. “Now, now. What seems to be the problem, dearie?” she asked softly.
“It’s him!” Mother shouted, pointing his finger in Jack’s direction. “It’s all his fault! My son is dead because of him!”
Jack stayed frozen for a few seconds. She had said it. Yelled it, even. And Mrs Kryous had heard, and most of the neighbours would have heard, too.
He looked away from the nice elderly woman’s face, too afraid of what he would find there. He needed to move. The young boy ran as fast as he could, blinded by tears. It was all over. People would know, he would be sent away, and his mother… he couldn’t even complete the thought.
He had become too confident. He had started to relax, to trust that things would turn out okay – how very foolish of him.
Years later, he was repeating that mistake in the Tardis.
“And you think there’ll be no retaliation? You’re becoming really confident, Jack,” Rose teased when he nicked a piece of fruit from her plate. With a devilish grin, she brought her face closer to Jack, distractingly close, in fact, her mouth was only inches from the former Time Agent’s face… and her hand suddenly moved to pinch the flesh under Jack’s ribs.
“Hey, it tickles!” he protested. Rose laughed, and started to tickle him in earnest, and Jack made a show of complaining, despite privately thinking he wanted to feel more of her hands on his skin.
They were in the Tardis kitchen. The Doctor was watching, pretending to be annoyed by their antics, but his eyes were betraying him – he didn’t mind much. In fact, he looked almost envious.
“Hey, Rose, d’you think the Doctor is ticklish?” Jack asked. “Why don’t we team up and find out?”
“You’re still the one who stole my dessert, not him,” the young woman argued, but there was little heat in her voice, and she was already turning towards the Time Lord. Jack felt a twinge of… something – those two were so obviously in love with each other…
And the Doctor’s grumblings about Time Lords’ biology and the absurdity of tickling was completely failing to hide how soft he was for the young blonde human who was now almost on his lap.
That scene had taken place on the previous evening, and Jack had loved everything about it. Traveling with these two wonderful persons, he was feeling more relaxed that he had been in years.
That couldn’t last.
The setting changed; they were on the beach now. His father was telling him to look after Gray, and Jack was promising that yes, he would, and then…
He screamed his brother’s name, he searched everywhere, but nothing he did could make a difference. He had let go of the little boy’s hand. It was too late.
From a distance, Rose and the Doctor were watching him, their eyes full of contempt.
“I can’t believe I almost thought you were a good person,” Rose spat. She looked disgusted.
“I didn’t,” the Doctor said. “I always knew he was trouble. Told you so, didn’t I?”
“Yeah, you did,” Rose admitted. “We should get rid of him.”
“The sooner the better,” the Time Lord approved. “He’s completely useless. I’ve tried to teach him a thing or two about Tardis repairs, but even with that, he’s rubbish. Can’t do anything right.”
Jack could only watch as they walked away, hand in hand. Part of him wanted to plead for himself, but what was there to say? They were right. He was an empty shell. Pretty face, pretty words, nothing inside. Useless. Expert at keeping up appearances, but couldn’t do anything right for anyone.
x-x-x
“Hey, Jack, ’re you with us?” Rose’s cheerful voice startled him out of the memory of his dream, and he plastered a smile on his face before answering.
“Sorry, I might have spaced out,” he conceded.
“Well, you’d better start paying attention, ‘cause the Doctor just said people around here were really determined to find trouble, and we don’t want that,” Rose replied. “Or not too much, at least,” she amended.
Jack noticed that were now crossing a busy place and being watched by a growing number of Savachanlars. Some had even started following them as they walked.
“Whatever they tell you, don’t let them provoke you into a fight,” the Doctor said forcefully.
“Why, are you afraid your friends would lose?” one of the surrounding Savachanlars intervened smugly.
The Time Lord’s answering glare was fierce, but it wasn’t enough to deter the small group that had formed.
“We’re just on our way to the city centre, we don’t mean to offend anyone,” Rose said, looking uneasy.
But her statement only provoked laughter.
“Don’t you want to impress your young companion?” another Savachanlar asked Jack. “If you fight me, you could obtain this beautiful necklace – wouldn’t she like that?”
Rose’s eyes shone despite herself. She clearly found the necklace pretty.
“Don’t be daft, Sourv,” another one intervened. “It’s not the young one he wants to impress, it’s the older one.”
“The older one,” the Doctor said irritably, his eyes shouting daggers, “doesn’t want Jack fighting anyone.”
“Yeah, because you don’t think he could handle it, do you?” the one his friend had called Sourv answered snidely. “You don’t trust him, and well, looking at him… I probably wouldn’t either.”
“Just ignore them and keep walking,” the Time Lord ordered. “We’ll reach the city centre soon, and they’ll have to stop – ritual fights are forbidden inside of the Green Walls.”
Jack clenched his fists. Just ignore them. Of course. Just ignore them. They’re right, but we’ll keep pretending that everything’s okay. Just ignore them. Just keep pretending you don’t know that if it weren’t for Rose, you’d have been dropped on some backward planet first chance the Doctor got.
The Savanchalars were surrounding them, and they were standing close enough to be threatening, but they weren’t actually preventing the foreigners from moving forward, Jack noticed. Intimidation tactic, certainly.
“They can’t physically attack us,” the Doctor said. “There are laws against that – they can only fight us if we challenge them or if we attack first.”
The Savachanlars booed. “What a party pooper,” one of them spat.
“Waste of time,” another grumbled.
“They’re probably boring and weak anyway, all three of them.”
“Are you kidding? One of the males has a wristband – they could be Time Agents!”
There was a ripple of whispers, and suddenly, every eye was on Jack.
“I was a Time Agent, yes,” he declared. “My companions aren’t and never were.”
“You’re a Time Agent, and you won’t fight any of us? What a coward!”
Colourful insults, now all directed at Jack, were starting to resonate around, and he dug his nails into the flesh of his own hands.
The Doctor and Rose looked angry, and they were both arguing with some of the Savachanlars, but Jack could barely hear what they were saying.
There were other things for him to hear.
“You’re a bastard and a liar, just like every one of your kind.”
“He was a Time Agent, he said. What happened? Became useless?
“You would betray your own brother and pretend you’re the victim!”
You would betray your own brother and pretend you’re the victim.
Jack didn’t think, barely even breathed – he turned to the Savachanlar who had just spoken, a tall one with purple horns, and declared, “No, I wouldn’t. But I will fight you.”
A wave of excitement ran through the crowd.
“What? Jack, no!” Rose exclaimed, sounding upset.
“Be sensible, lad,” the Doctor ordered angrily.
“What if I don’t want to?” Jack replied, looking at the Time Lord challengingly.
“You heard the stranger, people,” the Savachanlar with the purple horns shouted, “and he wants to fight me!”
There were cheers.
“What will the stakes be? What do you want, human?”
“Three necklaces like the one Rose liked,” Jack proclaimed.
“Please don’t!” It was Rose’s voice. “I didn’t even really like it! That’s not worth a fight, Jack!”
“Those necklaces are rather pricy, actually,” the Savachanlar that had been challenged retorted. He looked thrilled. My name is Ksiba, and if you win this fight, I will give you the jewels you seek. Now, what’s your name, human? And what do you have to offer?
“Captain Jack Harkness. And I can offer one day of kulhizmet.”
The declaration provoked excited whispers. The Savachanlars had apparently not expected him to know about that practice.
Ksiba’s eyes were shining. “A Time Agent in kulhizmet… now that’s interesting. But one day isn’t enough, human. I’m offering valuable jewels. I want six days of kulhizmet.”
“Six days? In your dreams. A day and a half.”
“Five days.”
“Two.”
“Four.”
“Two and a half.”
“I won’t go below three. Three necklaces, three days of kulhizmet – doesn’t that sound fair?”
“Fine,” Jack conceded. “It’s not like you’d get it anyway. I have no intention to lose.”
The Savachanlar laughed. “We’ll see about that.” Then, louder, he proclaimed, “You all heard it, folks! I, Ksiba of Pirewenkli, will fight the human Captain Jack Harkness! The stakes are three days of kulhizmet versus three necklaces.”
“Does the human know the rules of our ritual fights?” another Savachanlar intervened.
“No weapons and no attempt to inflict permanent damage. Death being a rather permanent issue, I believe that means no killing one’s adversary. And my friends are not allowed to intervene. Did I forget anything?” Jack’s words were not exactly rude, but his tone was smug and challenging.
Ksiba was looking satisfied, but the old-looking Savachanlar who had chimed in retorted, “I’ve seen Time Agents fighting before. No attempt at cheating will be tolerated. I want his companions under close surveillance.” Despite their protestations, other aliens firmly grabbed both Rose and the Doctor to restrain their arms. Both were looking downright murderous, and Jack gulped. Maybe he should have taken a bit more time to think things through.
But it was too late now.
“I, Trebair of Xive, will act as referee,” the old Savachanlar declared. “There’ll be a winner when one of you either passes out or surrenders. Let the combat begin!”
x-x-x
Jack understood very quickly that he had made a mistake. He had fought Savachanlars before, but years ago, and after months of intensive training sessions in the Time Agency. His training was far away now, and Ksiba was much faster than any of the Savachanlars he had fought back then. Or was Jack just slower?
Either way, things didn’t look good. His left arm had taken a particularly vicious hit and Jack could barely move it.
“Is that all you’ve got, Time Agent?” Ksiba taunted.
The human had managed to land a few punches, but the alien appeared mostly unaffected, while each respiration was bringing pain in Jack’s chest.
“Still enough to kick your ass,” he answered defiantly, but his voice was weaker than he would have liked it and the surrounding Savachanlars laughed.
Furious with everyone, but mostly with himself, Jack threw himself at Ksiba again. His fist met the alien’s jaw, making him grunt, but the price was high. Sharp claws dug into the flesh of Jack’s abdomen, and he staggered.
Fuck.
Had he always been so slow? It was just a Savachanlar! He should have been able to win easily! Or maybe not easily, but still – he had fought some of them in the past, and been successful! Sure, he hadn’t slept much on the previous night, unable and unwilling to go back to bed after his nightmare. Sure, he did not have the advantage of the Time Agency pills right now, and his physical abilities were not boosted. But still…
He would not show weakness. Not in front of Rose and the Doctor.
He would ignore the pain, win this damned fight, offer Rose the pretty necklaces, get a smile from her and an appreciative nod from the Doctor, whose eyes only ever softened when he saw Rose looking happy, and...
And then what? You’re an idiot, Harkness. A sentimental fool. Sure, you like them, but you shouldn’t get too attached. It would only hurt more when they leave you.
Jack didn’t care much for consequences anymore. He recklessly moved closer to Ksiba, knowing it would leave his left side exposed again; but if he played his cards right, maybe he would manage to get the alien in a headlock.
You’re not thinking clearly. That’s a stupid, dangerous move, with little chances of success, the thing that sounded most like a reasonable voice in Jack’s mind informed him.
But he was too angry with himself to listen to it.
And for a moment, it looked almost like his reckless choice would pay off. He had a good grip on Ksiba’s shoulder, and he just needed to…
Blinding pain. His already injured left arm had been violently twisted. Jack felt his head spinning, and tried to free himself, but he could barely understand what was happening as sparks danced before his eyes. When his vision stabilised, he realised that Ksiba now had him pinned to the ground. Jack tried throwing his hips upward to threaten the alien’s balance, but every movement was sending new waves of pain in his arm and abdomen.
“Oh, delicious. Do keep squirming, human,” Ksiba whispered in Jack’s ear. “I think I’m gonna enjoy having you in kulhizmet a lot.”
The tone brought a shiver down Jack’s spine, and he tried harder to free himself, to no end. Sharp rocks were digging painfully in his chest, and he knew he was probably bleeding in several places now. At least he was wearing black – maybe the colour would hide the extent of the damage to Rose and the Doctor.
“Do you surrender, Time Agent?” the Savachanlar asked loudly.
Jack could barely move. He would keep trying, though, because…
Why? Why would you keep trying? No one cares, and it’s too late – your friends have already seen how much of a failure you are.
The human closed his eyes. “I surrender,” he murmured.