Chapter Text
"You know you look scared shitless. Right?"
Jungkook smiled as he bit his lip, trying to relax as he picks up his ID from the Nurses desk, sweating under his shirt, trying to pin his ID on with a shaky hand and introduce himself as a competent adult, failing fast.
"That obvious? sorry, first day nerves, I’ll be good" He says as he feels his throat go dry and a nervous cough makes it worse.
"Ok. calm, please? If they sense you are a soft target some of these people will eat you alive for the fun of it. Follow me, let's get you changed"
Jungkook follows the Nurse to the locker room, another person is getting changed in there and as she walks in he seems to deliberately leave his tunic off.
When he does put his shirt on he looks like he's trying to compete in the TikTok Olympics, sliding fingers down his own small but there abs.
The nurse looks puzzled and cringes as she turns to Jungkook
"This is Li Jae, he works on section1... For now. Please don't learn from Jae"
He pulls a pretend hurt face
"I show you what you could have had and you treat me like that?" Jae says, winking at Jungkook, who can’t help but pull a disgusted face for a second.
The nurse huffs and rolls her eyes
"Pathetic, I'll report you for sexual misconduct. don't make me file it again this year"
she addresses Jae sternly then smiles gently at Jungkook
"Please leave any personal items in your locker and get changed and meet me back at the nurses station, ok? Nothing in your pockets that can be utilised by a client"
She leaves Jungkook to get changed into his light pink tunic
"you'll get used to the colours. Different roles. Different coloured tunics and you are light pink so you are a trainee nurse?"
Jungkook nods "mnm, I was placed here by uni, 2 years placement here then graduate.hopefully, You?"
Jae bends down and tucks his phone in his sock "I've been here 5 years. Started as a trainee but had to leave uni and they kept me on here as an orderly, a favour to my family more than anything, but they still use me for nurses duties, I don't mind. Moneys ok"
He says all this as he tucks and hides various items in his clothing. Smokes in the waistband. Lighter in his other sock. Small snacks in pockets. Lots of sweet snacks.
Jungkook smiles politely as he puts all his stuff in his locker, Keeping one item on him, the necklace his father gave him that he never takes off, tucking it safely under his tunic. The Silver link chain is barely visible.
He takes a drink of water and has one last mental talk to himself in his head to prepare, But his nerves are all over his face, his hairline wet with sweat.
"I'll come by and see you later. you'll be on section 2 for the first two weeks to follow the more experienced team, proper wacko’s on that floor though some pretty ones. I like to visit, You know, I doubt they keep you on 2. They like to have more experienced people working with them"
Jae winks again at Jungkook and right then Jungkook decides he is not someone he wants near him.
Something felt off. Some bratty ego issue.
Jungkook heads back to the nurses station at the front of the building.
He stands and looks at the control centre for all floors. CCTV in every room, down every corridor. Screens stay static for 2 minutes then change, Some use motion detectors.
Feeling slightly overwhelmed as he takes in the many new faces and the size of the facility
The building they are in is a massive sprawling mansion with roof turrets and balconies. Garden grounds that go on forever.
The place looks like someone had been asked to create a movie version of an asylum, gothic and foreboding, Long dark corridors with endless dorms and private rooms.
The ground floor was given over to therapy rooms, offices and recreation rooms.
The noises coming from the rooms range from laughs to shouts to angry rants as people try to be heard or understood or left alone.
Jungkook given a quick tour before he is asked to report to section 2
Shown the elevator that looks old and creaky but the building has 2 sets of stairs.
One main set and the old service stairs, Only staff are allowed to use the service stairs. Clients (or patients) Arent allowed in the areas without CCTV coverage. And that meant the staff facilities and service stairs at the far end of the building.
Jungkook would be required to stay over when on a three day rota. He would work straight through on call even when asleep.
After waiting around for someone to tell him what next the friendly nurse from earlier finally shows up
"Ah sorry, we had an emergency. Always something to mess up plans here, I'm going on my lunch 3 hours late but if you could take the service stairs and head up to the second floor please? Meet YeonNim and shadow her"
She nods over towards the door with the stairs and Jungkook nods
"Thank you, I'll do my best and learn well" He bows as he leaves and opens the door leading to the stairs.
Like he has stepped into a different world. The untouched, less clinical area showed this used to be an old family home maybe, Wooden stairs and dank looking yellow wallpaper with pink flowers covered the walls everywhere.
Badly lit and dramatically opposite to the other side of the door. All bright strip lighting and tiled floors.
Jungkook blew out air as he looked around a little. Hearing creaks of floorboards like the place was haunted.
He stands there for a minute to get his bearings and puts his chin length hair up in a loose bun. Out of his eyes.
Feeling calmer he starts to walk the flights of stairs up to the second floor.
Carpets on the stairs feeling nice under his feet. Feels less medical and scary.
He hears an angry voice above him, One man telling whoever to fuck off away from him and then a door closing.
Jungkook on the second floor, standing for a minute to catch his breath, sees doors on either side of a small hallway. Storage boxes in the opposite corner on the left with the staff room facilities door next to them and the other side the door for section2.
As he starts to open the door to the clients side he feels a strange sensation on his neck that he doesn’t register as pain at first but then a fast burning feeling mixed with being jerked backwards hard. Slamming the door back shut as his legs get lifted from under him.
Not able to right himself he fell back into whatever it was that pulled him and then he felt the arm come across his chest and around his neck and the air was trapped in him. It felt like a giant had him in a painful bear hug.
Unable to breathe in or out. Just panicking and he knows he should be fighting back but for some reason, his brain uses his energy to try and see what it is that's hurting him as his hands try to pry open the hold around him he strains to look around.
Then he hears a loud alarm sound. A massive noise that makes him jump but the person that's got him in a death grip keeps on holding him and swings him from side to side like a ragdoll.
He feels another set of hands on him. Trying to pull him away
"Let him down, please listen to me. I need you to put him down for me? Put him fucking down." The voice firm but trying to stay friendly.
Jungkook's vision was going red as he heard the voice angrily demanding again and the last thing he saw before he passed out was a beautiful Angel standing over him as they managed to push the attacker away and kicking out to keep him away.
An Angel making Jungkook’s last thoughts be this is how I die?
After a few seconds, Jungkook’s oxygen was normal and he came around to see the Beautiful Angel being manhandled and thrown against the wall in between the doors, placed in an arm lock and dragged out through the client doors under protests and shouts and more kicking.
Being walked along with his arms held behind him and lifted up to control him with his feet now off the floor.
Jungkook glimpses him being taken into the first room on the left as the door closes.
His homemade angel wings on the floor by Jungkook's head. The other person that had grabbed Jungkook by his necklace was nowhere to be seen.
Senior Nurse Yeon was helping Jungkook to his feet.
"So.. you're the newbie? I prefer my trainees to last longer than 38 minutes usually but that's what you get when you meet Park Jimin"
"Park Jimin? he's the maniac that strangled me?"
"First lesson, When a client has mental health issues we refrain from such derogatory terminology like maniac, but yes Park Jimin is indeed … unique"
"And the man with the angel wings that helped me? Can I thank him?"
"What? No, you mean? Ohh …. Flip" the nurse looks peeved as she passes Jungkook a bottle of water as she holds the door open for them to go onto the section.
As Jungkook passes Park Jimin's room he holds his hand up and Jimin holds his middle finger up and scrunches his face at him.
"Come with me, show me which one it was that grabbed you" the nurse points through other room windows as everyones now been placed on lockdown and Jungkook eventually sees the man that attacked him
"Definitely him. His arms even have bruises from where we tried to pull him away." Nurse Yeon opens his door and two orderlies enter with her.
"Jeon, you can head to the desk, please. We’ll be there once we talk to Ben"
Jungkook still has Park Jimin's wings in his hands and wants to give them back. He walks the opposite way to the desk and stands in front of Jimin's door.
The wings he holds are made of patterned net, cute looking. Bits of fluffy ribbons have been glued around the edges and some sequins glued on them in heart shapes. The hook over the arms with strings glued on.
All in all they look insane to Jungkook, but kind of cute.
An oblong window built into the door allows you to see the entire room and Jungkook stands looking through it silently for a moment. The man is laying on top of his bed. Legs crossed and foot tapping angrily, arms up over his face.
Jungkook looks around his private room, a window with wire on the outside to keep people from throwing stuff. Simple items all around. A few pictures on one wall. Romantic looking hand drawn art, he sees a desk with all the craft items he would need for the angel wings on them, the only messy part of the whole room.
He knocks the door and watches as Jimin slowly moves his arms, Looks over to the door, curls his lip slightly and puts his arms back over his face
"Little asshole" Jungkook mumbles and knocks again firmer.
Jimin lifts his head and widens his eyes to say "WHAT" with silence and Jungkook slams his wings on the window and points at them. Lips pursed. Head sideways and getting angry.
All he wants to do is say thank you and give the damn wings back why is this kid making it hard.
Jimin looks confused "you've got the fucking keys, asshole, you want me to magic the door open?"
Jungkook finally gets it. Forcing his stance to become apologetic instantly
"Sorry, sorry, I didn't think. I just started. I have no keys to open it" Jungkook pats his pockets to emphasise this and Jimin smiles at how dumb they are both being
"Yeah ok I get it, stop feeling yourself up" Jimin slides off his bed, tripping slightly on his slippers as he makes his way to the door.
"They locked us in. I'll be here all night now because of you" Jimin points to the floor "Push my wings through"
He kneels down and waits for Jungkook who keeps standing so he can see Jimin through the glass.
"I'll explain to Nurse Yeon, Thank you for helping me, Not sure what happened, Who is he?"
"I didn't do it to help you, Idiot. Pass me my wings"
"Woahh, the fuck is that attitude for? I'm saying thank you and sorry here. I'll sort it and they'll unlock your door, right?"
"you've worked here for an hour and you already know everything? Amazing. I didn't help you, I needed him to stop because it's waffles and ice cream for pudding tonight as our treat for the day and now I don't get it and that pisses me off. I helped Ben because he can't help being a fucking idiot but you should be able to help it because you are a nurse. So push my wings under the door and then fuck off, ok? Pudding fucker"
Jungkook smiles "Pudding fucker?" He sighs and bends down to push the wings under the door gap, smiling a little at the name.
Jungkook slips his fingers under the door to see if it will fit and as the first angel wing starts to slip under Jungkook sees Jimin's little fingers under the door frame and it makes him smile again "Pudding fucker" shaking his head gently as Jimin pulls all the wings through.
"Jimin thanks you, he said Goodbye, pudding fucker?"
Jimin's voice is slightly higher, taking Jungkook by surprise
"Jungkook? The desk is this way" Nurse Yeon calls down to him as the orderlies appear to be taking Ben away. He seems a lot calmer and smiles nicely at Jungkook as he looks behind him and walks to the elevator.
Jungkook walks forwards trying to explain "Can Park Jimin come out? He helped me, he didn't attack me. It was the other one… other person, Ben?"
"Yeah Ben explained, He thought you were sent to kill him by his father, he's going to spend some time on the assessment section, Park Jimin can't come out though until they all calm down. tomorrow"
"So… He.. he doesn't get pudding? I know it sounds dumb but he's really bothered about it" Jungkook says feeling sheepish
"it's not dumb, it's good information to have. Lets go to the desk, ok? I wanna show you some folders on our clients and patients "
Nurse Yeon grabs a handful of folders from a tall filing cabinet and points to a quiet area
"Sit? I'll speak to you informally?"
Jungkook nods and sits but he's being distracted by Clients talking and shouting to each other from their locked rooms.
"Right, this is Ben’s information. What we treat him for, He has several diagnoses including paranoia, which is what you met earlier. He fixates on certain issues and his most common trigger is strangers, which was our fault letting you come here alone. He isn't usually dangerous at all but when he's triggered he believes his own father is sending assassins, Ninja’s usually, to kill him. His father owns a fishing boat and treats his son beautifully. Always standing by him. He is counted as a patient in private as the state pays for his treatments here. Other people are clients that seek out the help themselves and of course we have some with benefactors that take care of them from a distance, that includes Park Jimin he is a client although he is being kept indefinitely for now"
She hands Jungkook Jimin's folder, thicker than some and he flicks through it without really taking notice.
She continues
"Jimin has been treated for some time now quite successfully for dissociative disorders but his other disorders are what keep him here. He handles the dissociative disorder well and it seems, some of his alters are happy to settle into their own world and leave Jimin to drive. He's a good case study I think? Consider it anyway. He isn't violent to others usually and likes to keep his distance emotionally, although people have asked to study him and he has refused, he isn’t easy but we think it would help both of you"
Jungkook looks a little shell shocked, a lot of information to take in already and this is only 2 people down
"Am I allowed to take his folder home to study?" he asks, his eyes getting wider at the idea of trying to understand all this information as he once again flicks through the endless pages.
"If he agrees, better to ask him to gain trust. Then yes you can have access to all you need on digital files but all clients notes are available if you deal with them."
Jungkook stutters "o..ok… ok" still unsure of everything.
"Hey, Puddin’ fucker? You there?Did you tell Mother?"
Jungkook hears Jimin call him and he looks at Nurse Yeon a little embarrassed but he smiles
"Already got a cute pet name for me, so proud day for us all" Jungkook smiles a little. Still embarrassed and continues "He means that it wasn’t his fault, he helped me not attacked me."
"Yeah we're aware but they will be punished for any misconduct on my station. They know this. They were well aware Ben was off the section and walking around on the service stairs. that's how he knew to help you there so they need to learn"
"He seems very pissed off about his pudding?"
"Ah, yeah. good lesson for you about Jimin" she opens his folder and points to his history. Paper looks old and well thumbed through
"He was severely neglected and abused as a child. Deliberately Malnourished with visible signs that seem to have been ignored by all adults around him. He was basically tortured with food as well as everything else, This makes him a little obsessed with food. A little selfish and basically one of the only things I have ever seen him angry at others about. He can't help it. But he will calm down from this tantrum soon enough. Sometimes lets his Dysregulation out of hand, though we work on it,"
“Dysregulation? Ahh errr… emotional regulation disorder? Yes? Sorry I try to recall everything but .. brain” Jungook taps his forehead as he explains trying to take all the information isn't always easy for him.
Jungkook looks back at Jimin's room, seeing his fingers under the door frame. Like he's playing and clawing it gently. Fingers tapping and moving fast.
"There’s up to 9 clients in this section. despite who we suggest you concentrate your learning on you must help all that need your care. Lets get your keys sorted? I'm going home soon but you have another 3 hours today? Till 7 pm?"
Jungkook nods and they pick up the files and walk back to the desk, given his keys and needed codes.
"they will be quiet unless they want to test you a little. they are a good bunch. very misunderstood." Yeon says as she prepares to leave.
He grabs Jimin's file to read more as he finally waves goodbye to Nurse Yeon and he goes to sit on the floor next to Jimin's door as he watches her leave and the section is quiet.
Back against the wall and legs outstretched in front of him. Closed folder on his lap
"Park Jimin?" He taps the door gently and hears a giggle inside the room and Jimin’s fingers appear at the bottom of the door again, like they play a game of hide and seek and he giggles more.
"Jimin? Can I read your case file? Is that ok?"
Silence for a moment but the fingers under the door frame all disappear.
Quiet and Jungkook doesn't want to push it
"Jimin said yes, for a price maybe?" Jungkook sighs. The fact is he can just take the folder and read it all right now but he senses that won't work well with Jimin.
"What price?"
"Firstly, He wants you to play with me" Jimin's fingers appear under the door again and flick in and out of view.
Jungkook confused "Play how? I can't open the door"
"You are who? Why won't you play with me?" the voice asks so sweetly.
Something clicking in Jungkook's mind he says gently "ahh" this is one of the alters maybe?
"Is it rude if I call you an alter? Are you one of Jimin's alters?"
Again silence from the other side of the door
Fingers appear again whipping around fast and Jungkook starts to tap them as they appear, Hoping this is the game. Finger door whack-a-mole.
Moving to sit in front of the door with his knees crossed so he can see Jimin’s fingers.
More giggling from the other side of the door and more fingers, Jungkook snatching at them and tapping and even giggling himself as he hears the laughing from the other side of the door when Jungkook misses or the squeals when Jungkook taps his finger.
and then he gets one and keeps hold of it, all the fingers freeze and then all pull away.
"I played, can I read the file now?"
"What’s your name? Pudding fucker?"
"Jungkook is my name. Not Puddin’ fucker. Only Jimin should call me that I think. Ok? Is Jimin there? Can I talk to him please?"
"You haven't asked my name, Do you not care for me? You played but do not care for me? I am not an alternative. I am me."
Jungkook felt bad. Knowing this was a learning curve. Never having met anybody with DIDS before but really hoping he doesn't just become hated by them all for rudeness.
"Sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, may I know your name please? Who am I talking to?"
"All the fuss over a name, My name. Who I am. Me? but I am Kitten, Not very original, I know. Will you laugh at me? I am Kitten and that's that. Am I cute? They pet me so I am cute? Yes? Jimin will be here in a while. You played with my paws, I made you happy? I think I did, gentle paws. Meoww"
Kitten gives a tiny mew at the end of his words. So many questions on meeting this new person but Jungkook isn’t sure which are rhetorical or which he should answer. Panicking a little. So badly hoping he doesn’t fuck this up.
It goes quiet again and Jungkook considers going against staff advicand opening Jimin's door to see if Kitten is ok, but he sits and waits.
He sees a finger poke under the door again and it has ’bye’ written on the fingertip. Jungkook taps it gently.
"Jungkook's a nice name. Rolls off my tongue" Jungkook hears a lower voice. Slightly husky. Slight Busan accent.
Jungkook asks "Jimin?"
"Yeah.. Thank you.. For playing with Kitten, I guess you're trained to put up with all sorts of us"
"No… you're my first… I mean first person … alters … sorry. Making a bad deal of this. I've been taught this a little in uni but this is my first time seeing it. Talking to you, may I read your case file now?"
"Do you have to? Once you read it you'll be just like every other person in here that treats me like all the others"
"Treat you how?"
"Like I am unclean, My mind is unclean and broken. And my body is unclean and my skin is unclean" Jimin says, a touch of defeat in his voice like he has been here a million times and knows the routine as dehumanising.
"You know I don't need permission, Right?" Jungkook says, despite everything he can’t help but say it.
"I do know that, But… Jungkook, you don't seem like the others? I think anyway, So I ask, can you not read the files? At least not yet?”
Jimin's voice is so calming and gentle. Not pleading but asking so earnestly. Jungkook agrees like he is under a spell.
"Ok, for now. I Promise you." Jungkook says
And he sees the tip of Jimin's pinky poke out under the door
"Swear"
Jungkook sees this little finger poke out and smiles, rolling his eyes a little “being adorable is it, Park Jimin?” noting this like its a win. Learning how to understand Jimin’s needs and how he needs things to flow to feel comfortable.
Jungkook pinky swears as much as he can under a door frame.
"Jungkook? Can you come help with the food cart please?" an orderly shouts out and Jungkook stands up
"See you later, Jiminssi, thank you for saving me earlier. Even if it was for food"
As they both stand up Jungkook turns to see Jimin stand in front of him on the other side of the locked door
His eyes are bright and have a glint in them that Jungkook didn't notice earlier. The eye smile he gives forces Jungkook to take notice.
The red and black thin striped t-shirt looks tiny but fits him so well and his black hoodie that zips at the front is undone and hanging off one shoulder, his black jeans with holes in the thigh and knee hang loosely around his hips but again, fit him so well. His angelic blonde hair with small waves top his look and framed his sweet, slightly fuller cheeks face perfectly.
Jungkook lifts his hand to say bye and Jimin does the same, all the time holding something in his fist tightly, opening it when he sees Jungkook has walked off and Jimin tenderly fingers Jungkook's silver necklace in his palm that Ben ripped from him earlier.
Smiling to himself as he clasps it tightly again and holds it to his heart as he spins around and falls on his bed.
"Jungkook, it'll do you no good to sit and give all your attention to one client. Rumours start that way of favouritism and although you will get favourites it's best not make it obvious, it makes it harder for them. Help me pass through their food trays please?"
Jungkook looks at the orderly he helps. Older gentleman. Seems friendly enough and he is right what he says, Jungkook takes it under consideration.
He looks on the food trays, rice and kimchi stew, no pudding on these ones but the trays underneath have some on.
"Who’s are those trays? With the waffles?"
"Ours" the orderly says "We sit at the rec tables over there and eat instead of going all the way downstairs of an evening, you've got one too"
"Ah, thank you" Jungkook says and as the orderly moves to the door behind him Jungkook quickly swaps his food tray with one he holds for Jimin and walks to Jimin's door
By the bottom of the door frame there’s a hinged flap that can be opened it creates a space of about 4 inches
Jungkook knocks first before he opens the flap
"Jimin? Puddin’ fucker brings you a gift to say thanks" He slides the tray into Jimins room and feels Jimin pull it from the other side
"For free? Junggukkah? You just give this to me? it's mine?" Jimin says in a thoughtful voice.
Jungkook was confused by his reaction "Ye, free. dinners are included, right? The pudding is yours from me"
Still confused he straightens up to move to the next door and glimpses Jimin still sitting on his floor staring at the tray.
Jungkook moving backwards and forwards to give the dinner trays to all clients, taking Jimin's folder and reluctantly placing it back in the filing cabinet.
First day over with.
7 pm and most clients settle into boredom after being locked in. a few come to their windows to see who Jungkook is as he walks past them.
Not staying here this week he heads for the service stairs and passes Jimin's room. Jimin sits at his desk writing, oblivious to Jungkook watching him for a few minutes as he writes in his handover diary.
Jungkook stared a little to long, a million thoughts running through his mind and every single one of them was about Park Jimin.
Snapping out of it with a head shake he finally leaves the section.
As he makes his way to the borrowed car he uses, Jae stands at the bottom of the large steps that lead up to the clinic and shouts over to Jungkook
"Can I get a lift into town?"
Jungkook unlocks his car door and nods "ye" as he gets in. Jae runs over and a weird smell enters the car with him
"The fuck is that smell?"
"Ah, I paid a visit to a friend before we came out. She has OCD and rubs lotion on herself constantly. it's her lavender cream, you'll get used to all this...newness".
Jungkook not quite understanding what Jae was admitting, having never crossed his mind that it happens as he answers
"Ye. might take a while. Section 2 is… intense " Jungkook says as he recalls his terrible first day, being attacked and looking like an idiot for everyone to laugh at behind his back. Brilliant.
"Haa , yeah I heard about your problem, you know if you wanna, you can make life hard for Ben? Make him understand you aren’t a pushover. He needs special treatment, withhold food and free time. Stop his father visting"
Jungkook gets what he means and asks "you do that? To the clients?"
Jae answers hurriedly "no, noo, man. no , am just saying if YOU wanted to you could"
Jungkook ignores him. He sees now why he gets a terrible vibe from Jae. because he is an asshole. Plain and simple.
"I'll drop you here.I go this other way now" Jungkook says stopping just at the edge of town, Just wanting this asshole to move away from him.
Driving on he puts his music on loud and just thinks how he can work with Jimin. How will he say yes to being his subject if he won’t even let him read his file?
Entering his tiny home on his landlady's roof he needs to contact his professor and ask If he can get Jimin to say yes, how best to deal with him? More context on his disorders. Wishing he had read his file. But messaging his professor and asking him to cite papers and books for him to read up on child neglect plus abuse effects in adults.
Tired and needing a shower he ignores everything and falls flat on his beanbag.
Where he falls asleep instantly.