Chapter Text
Sanji should be used to the Grand Line’s weather anomalies, but even after years sailing these seas, he found himself surprised.
The Thousand Sunny had been calmly sailing the open waters. Sanji had just finished handing out refreshing drinks to the crew, all but Zoro who was conspicuously absent from his usual napping spot, when the sky was suddenly overtaken by a large purple cloud. The crew had barely a minute to prepare before they were plunged into the storm. The sky streaked with lightning a concerning hue of red as thunder boomed all around them, barely drowning out Luffy’s wild laughter.
Stupid rubber was way too eager for all of them to die.
That possibility was not far off, not with the way the Sunny was being thrashed by the waves, the winds blowing the sails so hard Sanji was worried they’d rip right off. Nami was calling out orders above the din while the crew ran around, securing what they could and doing their best to sail out of the storm’s path.
“Is it just me, or is this storm weirder than normal,” Sanji shouted above the roaring winds.
The air had an ominous green glow to it as another bolt of red lightning streaked across the sky and hit the water worryingly close to the ship. Sanji noticed a peculiar smell in the air, almost like… wet sand? In the middle of the ocean? It couldn’t be.
“It is certainly the oddest I’ve seen, although I don’t have eyes, yohohoho!”
“I’m pretty sure lightning isn’t red,” Usopp responded.
“Devil Fruit,” Robin opined, her arm looped through Franky’s to keep her from falling into the dangerous waters.
“There were no ships in our immediate vicinity,” Jinbei replied, holding on to Luffy who was half-hanging over the rails, peering at the churning water.
“Can we debate this when we’re out of this storm?!” Nami shouted, clutching onto Chopper before he could be thrown overboard by the violence of the tempest.
“Of course, Nami dearest,” Sanji replied immediately.
He turned his focus to following her orders as the crew sailed on through the storm. Well, most of the crew, there was still one member that was nowhere to be found.
“Oi! Where’s the Mosshead? Don’t tell me his lazy ass got thrown overboard,” he shouted over the buffeting winds.
“I believe our dear swordsman was training in the crow’s nest when the storm hit. I’ve yet to see him emerge.”
Sanji rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to retort but suddenly the air became super charged around him. It was eerily similar to the feeling that surfaced in Skypiea before Enel struck, though this time there was more warning. It wasn’t enough of a warning for him to get himself to safety. He saw the world turn white and crimson before a red bolt of lightning shot down, heading straight for him.
Before he could react, he was tackled to the deck. The lightning strike that was aiming at him hit the ship instead, much to Franky’s dismay.
Sanji’s attention, however, was on the significant weight on top of him.
Zoro’s body pressed him down against the floorboards of the ship. Sanji found all the air punched right out of him. Partly because Zoro was on top of him and pressing down on his lungs but also because Zoro was staring at him with something vaguely like concern. Although, perhaps Sanji was imagining that. Zoro had made his stance very clear after Whole Cake in that he had been barely acknowledging that Sanji existed. But here he was, looking at him like he might care.
“Alright, Curls,” the swordsman asked.
Sanji blinked at that, momentarily thrown at the concern before his face twisted into a sneer.
“I’d be better if your knee wasn’t pressed into my liver. Get off me, Marimo!”
Zoro opened his mouth to retort, but the storm suddenly had the Sunny lurching to the right. The two men went sliding against the wet deck towards the edge of the ship. Zoro raised an arm against the railing just as they reached the edge, stopping them from slipping into the restless sea.
Sanji glanced around for a place where they could secure themselves. The lurch had made them slide away from all the riggings, putting them on the opposite side of the ship from their crewmates.
“Just hold on to me!” Zoro shouted above the din.
Sanji’s lips twisted unhappily but seeing no other option, he did as told. He wrapped his arms around the larger man’s back and locked his thighs against his waist, doing his best to ignore the awkward position they had found themselves in. It was purely for necessity’s sake, Sanji reminded himself. Nothing more. Not that he wanted that of course. Who would want this sweaty, smelly brute laying on top of them?
His mind flashed traitorously to a stunning beauty, her blue hair flowing down her back and her eyes alight with affection for the oblivious swordsman. Sanji still could not believe that someone as lovely as Hiyori would be so taken with Zoro. Far be it from him to question a lady’s tastes, but honestly, what did she see in him beyond his swordsmanship?
And his extreme sense of loyalty.
And his dumb unintentional charm.
And his stupid weirdly handsome face.
And his ridiculously built body.
And his absurdly large pecs.
And his sinfully strong arms.
And the way his stupid cyclops eye could make you feel like the only person that mattered in the world.
But other than that, there was nothing at all. So why would Hiyori want him? Admittedly, Zoro did seem to fit into Wano in a way Sanji had never witnessed before. It was almost like the island ran through his blood. If Zoro decided to settle there after they all achieved their dreams, Sanji wouldn’t be surprised.
He felt a sharp twist as he thought of Zoro and Hiyori together, a trio of green haired children between them.
Hiyori would probably like that, even though the brute didn’t give her the attention her grace and beauty warranted. The same couldn’t be said for Kiku. Maybe the Marimo would prefer a fellow swordsman like her, or Tashigi.
Or Law.
Sanji had noticed the looks exchanged between the two supernovas during the post-war festivities. They certainly had time to capitalize on their shared interest while Sanji was on Whole Cake.
Maybe there were quite a few people in recent history alone who might find Zoro appealing, but that hardly mattered because Sanji wasn’t one of them. He would rather be flung about by this storm than have Zoro’s weight continue pressing him down, completely covering him so the only thing he could be aware of was the swordsman.
Or that was the case until some weird portal opened up above them. Sanji blinked as he took in the growing maw. It was shaped like an hourglass and looked to be the size of the Sunny’s main sail. There was a swirling vortex inside of it, glowing sand whipping around violently within.
“Hey Mosshead, are you seeing this?”
Zoro looked up and followed his gaze, his body stiffening as he took in the new threat. Sanji made note that although the portal opened right above them, it wasn’t trying to pull them in.
He stared up at it mystified, before he felt his Observation flare with a warning. He locked his limbs around Zoro and rolled them out of the line of fire before he even consciously thought to do so. The pair rolled a few feet away and stopped just in time to see three figures fall out of the hole, hitting the deck with a concerning amount of force. Sanji was pretty sure he saw a dent under the largest body.
Franky was going to flip.
He glanced up, noting that the portal was closing. Once it did, the storm they had been embroiled in rapidly dissipated before disappearing entirely as if it had never existed at all.
Sanji looked at the sky in disbelief before his attention went back to the three figures crumpled on the deck, seemingly unconscious.
“Oi, Cook. Mind letting go so I can see who the hell just landed on our ship?”
Sanji’s brows furrowed at that before he realized he was still wrapped around Zoro like a koala. He abruptly let go, his cheeks heating up in embarrassment.
Zoro stood, his hand on Kitetsu’s hilt as he approached the newcomers. Sanji shook off the previous moment and locked in, prioritizing the intruders over whatever the hell that had been.
As he approached, he noticed that there was one large figure the size of an average man with lavender hair and golden tan skin along with two smaller figures clearly belonging to children. He blinked as he stared down at the three crumpled forms.
“Friends of yours, Mosshead,” he asked, waving at the green hair the identical girls sported.
“Maybe I should be asking you that, Cook. Never seen those weird-ass eyebrows of yours on another face until now.”
“Huh?”
Zoro nodded at the girls. They were laying on their backs, faces half visible past the wet hair matted to their foreheads, but their curled eyebrows were easy to make out.
Sanji found himself freezing in place.
Green hair and curled eyebrows.
Could they be…?
No one had mentioned Yonji having children when he was on Whole Cake Island. Then again, why would they? The girls did seem a bit old to be Yonji’s. Sanji would place them at 7 – 9 years old. Yonji would’ve had them in his early teens. It wasn’t impossible but still.
There was also the possibility they were the result of Judge’s experiments. Sanji shuddered at the thought. He thought he had left Germa behind and here it was again.
He remained frozen as the crew came over. They all stopped up short as they saw their guests. Sanji could vaguely hear them having a conversation, but he wasn’t paying attention. He found his mind taking him back to memories he would rather forget.
A dungeon.
A helmet.
A cold lab.
A dirty cell.
A tombstone.
A disappointed glare.
Needles and serums.
Relentless fists.
Sneers and giggles.
Failure. Failure. Failure.
His chest felt tight as his breath stuttered in his lungs, the memories swirling past his mind and throwing his soul into disarray as he attempted to cover up the fact that he was on the verge of a panic attack.
Zoro’s singular eye was narrowed as he stared at Sanji’s tense form. The swordsman said nothing, but it was clear he noticed Sanji was having difficulty. Sanji hoped to any god that might be listening that the mosshead didn’t draw attention to his situation. Despite Sanji’s hope, Zoro opened his mouth as if he was going to say something. Before he could, there was a sudden commotion from the three newcomers.
The man who had been unconscious suddenly picked up the two girls and held them in front of him, backing away from the gathered crew. Sanji initially figured the man might’ve been trying to protect them. He was on a pirate ship after all, one belonging to an emperor no less. However, he went rigid as the sun glinted off metal, revealing the long knife in the man’s hand aimed at the girls’ necks.
The crew were immediately on alert. Sanji swept a foot back as he heard the ringing of Zoro withdrawing his swords.
“Stay back, Strawhats!”
“Hey Grapehead Guy, what are you trying to kill those girls for,” Luffy asked blankly, though Sanji could see the vigilant way he watched every move the man made.
“No one take a step, unless you want me to spill the blood of your precious cabin girls all across this deck.”
The crew paused at that before Jinbei, their most diplomatic member, spoke up.
“It appears you have been misinformed. The Strawhats have no cabin girls. It would be best if you release those children so we may discuss terms rationally,” he replied calmly.
The man’s bushy blonde eyebrows furrowed as his eyes roved over the crew.
“Where are the rest of the Strawhats? I know this isn’t all there is. I won’t be snuck up on, not before I slit these brats’ throats.”
The ten present members looked at one another in confusion.
“How hard did you hit your head when you fell out of that portal,” Sanji asked, drawing a cigarette from his pocket and lighting it.
The lavender-haired man tilted his head at that.
“Portal? I didn’t…”
Realization seemed to come to him as he stared harder at the crew. Sanji shifted when he noticed the man’s eyes linger on him and Zoro longer than the others before falling on Robin.
“Ha! It appears that I’ve managed to outsmart you then, demon woman,” the man crowed, smirking victoriously at her.
“Oi! Don’t call the lovely Robin names or you’ll get my foot up your ass,” Sanji warned.
The man smirked wider at him.
“Oh, I wouldn’t take a closer step if I were you, Black Leg. Your future self won’t thank you for the consequences, trust me.”
“Considering my future self will be kicking your teeth in, somehow I doubt that.”
“You’ll keep your distance, or I’ll kill your daughters right before your very eyes.”
Sanji’s other brow went up.
“You really have gotten your head scrambled. I don’t have any daughters.”
“Not yet you don’t, but one day you will. Events will conspire such that they, like their parents, can’t keep their noses where they belong. As a result, they will fall through a portal into the past with me and find themselves on the business end of my knife.”
“What the hell are you on about?”
“If I may, Mr. Cook. I believe this man means to imply that he is a time-traveler from our future,” Robin spoke up, a spark of interest in her voice.
Sanji looked at her with disbelief.
“That’s right. It appears that you’re as smart as you ever were, Nico Robin.”
“Grapehead Guy is from the future? So cool,” Luffy stated, starry eyed. Chopper and Usopp were in similar states.
“Why should we believe a single word you say? How would you travel to the past anyway? The Toki Toki no Mi only sends people to the future so that can’t be it,” Nami shot at him.
“Wrong Fruit. You see, I’m the eater of the Jikan Jikan no Mi.”
“The Hour Hour Fruit? I find that hard to believe as the user is only able to travel forward or backward an hour. Seeing as how you claim those children belong to our cook, I would think your origins in our lives stretches forward much longer past that,” Robin commented.
“Yes, no thanks to you. You have always doubted me, Professor, but now you see that I have proven you wrong. I did what you said I could not and I travelled years instead of hours. The brats may have gotten in my way and hitched a ride, but I get to rub my success in your face nonetheless.”
“Hmm. We appear to have quite the history, Mr…”
“Sugimoto, though that isn’t important. I think it best that you all listen to my demands, or these little brats won’t have a future.”
“Let’s say you are from the future, which I still don’t believe, why should I think those kids belong to me? Parenthood certainly isn’t an ambition of mine,” Sanji stated dubiously.
“I mean, they do have your eyebrows,” Usopp mumbled behind him.
Sanji shot him a glare in return, causing the man to recoil.
“Our sniper does have a point. How many can claim such a unique feature,” Brook added.
“I can think of at least four others,” Sanji mumbled in return.
“That isn’t their only prominent feature. And the hair color coupled with the eyebrows gives me reason to believe they aren’t mine. This could be a trick from Germa. I wouldn’t put it past Judge,” Sanji said louder.
“Oh, you think Green Sanji’s their dad, huh,” Chopper concluded.
“Green Sanji,” Usopp repeated in confusion while Nami groaned at the mention.
“Sanji’s somehow even more annoying brother, Yonji,” Nami explained.
“Brother is a relative term, but it would be a more logical explanation over time travel,” Sanji replied.
“But that’s silly. Green Sanji isn’t their dad, you and Zoro are,” Luffy chimed in, his voice chipper like he hadn’t just said something asinine.
“EH?!?! WHAT ARE YOU SAYING, YOU STUPID RUBBER?! DO YOU WANT ME TO KICK YOUR HEAD IN?! IF I HAVE KIDS, IT WILL BE WITH A BEAUTIFUL LADY WHO APPRECIATES MY COOKING AND BATHS MORE THAN ONCE A MONTH, NOT THIS SHITTY SWORDSMAN!”
Sanji was practically emitting an aura of death which caused the majority of his crewmates to take a step away from him. Usopp was even cowering behind Jinbei. Zoro, however, was seemingly frozen at his side while Luffy was in veritable stitches, doubled over himself in laughter.
“Oh man, you’re so mad. It’s so funny!”
“Take back what you said, idiot!”
“Why? It’s true. Look.”
Luffy pointed at the slumped over girls’ waists. Sanji looked at them more closely. The girls were both dressed in yukatas, one a dark blue with koi fishes and the other light blue with goldfishes. They had green obi sashes around their torsos and tucked into the fabric at their hips were three bokkens each. They looked like mini-Zoros.
Still, curly brows aside, Sanji might’ve been able to convince himself that they were Zoro’s kids with Hiyori or Kiku or some other beauty he was destined for, but then his eyes were drawn to the two children’s ears. Each child’s left ear had one of Zoro’s golden earrings dangling from it. More damning though, they were wearing a rose-shaped aquamarine stud beside Zoro’s earring. Those studs were one of a kind, commissioned by Sanji’s mother before she had even married Judge. Sanji had retrieved it and other belongings of his mother’s during his time in Germa castle. And they were in the ears of these children, these mini-Zoros with Marimo’s mossy hair and his fashion sense and his three swords but Sanji’s eyebrows.
Sanji suddenly felt faint.
He squirmed uncomfortably at the feeling of the entire crew’s eyes turning to him at once.
“Oh my.”
“Well, this is awkward.”
“Congratulations bros!”
“Wait, how did they even manage to—”
“Hey! I’m still here you know?!” Sugimoto shouted over the murmuring Strawhats.
“As I was saying, my demands will be met or you can kiss the pirate hunter and the chef’s brats here goodbye.”
“You really think I’m gonna let that happen,” Zoro replied, his voice hard and low.
Sanji glanced over at him. His silver eye was trained on the unconscious girls. Almost like…
“You don’t believe this madness, do you, Mosshead? I mean I would never… you don’t even… this isn’t…”
“Does it matter? Either they’re ours or they’re not. He’s got a knife to their throats though, so maybe focus on that and have your gay panic later.”
Sanji huffed in reply. Gay panic? He was well past that, thank you very much. Ace took care of that. Besides, Sanji was bisexual, not that he was broadcasting that, but still.
“Why should I be worried? You’re certainly not the World’s Greatest in this time period, Roronoa,” Sugimoto boasted.
Zoro paused for only a moment.
“Maybe not, but that just means I’m not going to let weaklings like you keep me from that title. Drop the girls.”
“We may not know Zoro and Sanji’s kids well, but they’re still nakama so we won’t let you hurt them, Grapehead Guy.”
“My name is Sugimoto,” the intruder sneered in response before he flinched, his face scrunching up in pain.
The girl in the koi fish yukata was moving, quick as lightning, before her teeth bit into Sugimoto’s hand, forcing him to release his hold. The two girls landed on their feet on the deck. The one in the goldfish yukata turned and kicked Sugimoto in the balls before the two kids ran towards Sanji.
“Daddy!”
He felt his whole body go rigid as they hugged his legs, their voices talking over each other as they tried to explain what happened, not that Sanji was getting any of what they were saying. He was too stuck on the word they had used.
Daddy.
He glanced up and met Zoro’s eyes. He was standing over the writhing man, his foot on his chest and Kitetsu pointed at his throat. His face was unreadable, but Sanji still found himself having to look away in discomfort.
“What should we do with him,” the swordsman asked after a moment.
“If I may, Captain. This man claims to be a time traveler and is a part of our personal history. It would be best to keep him close,” Robin suggested.
“The guy’s obviously a nut. Why bother,” Nami protested.
“I believe his claims to be true, Ms. Navigator. It would be pertinent to extract relevant information from him in order to substantiate his claims. If they prove true, then we can work on sending them all back to the future,” Robin explained.
“We’ll go with Robin’s plan and figure out why Grapehead Guy came here and why he’s got Zoro and Sanji’s kids.”
“I can whip up a nice holding cell out of a storage closet and I’ll dig up the seastone cuffs,” Franky added, following behind Zoro as he dragged Sugimoto away, consequently leaving Sanji alone with the twins.
Well, not alone but still.
Sanji glanced down at the two girls who were staring wide-eyed back at him with achingly familiar blue eyes.
“Did Auntie Robin just say that we time traveled,” koi fish yukata asked.
Sanji continued staring down at them wordlessly.
What the actual fuck?