Chapter Text
Lauren Bloom had and has always been pro-choice.
She was the doctor who handed the forms over without hesitation, knowing it was not her place to judge, knowing that every person’s circumstances were different. She was the doctor who nodded with understanding, offered comfort, and supported their decisions. She had always firmly believed that it was every person’s right to decide their own path, free from judgment and societal expectations. Lauren never saw herself as a mother.
It wasn’t that she didn’t want kids or that she didn’t think she could be a mother. She just didn’t picture it for herself. Maybe it was her chaotic childhood, maybe it was the addiction that always seemed to loom over her head like a dark cloud. Whatever the reason, it wasn’t something she had ever longed for or planned. In fact, she’d always been careful, diligent even, about ensuring she wouldn’t find herself in this kind of situation. But here she was, in the hospital bathroom, staring at a pregnancy test in her trembling hands.
She felt like a stranger in her own body. Her hands were shaking so badly that she had to grip the stick harder, her knuckles turning white as she fought to keep herself from falling apart completely. The hospital bathroom was sterile and cold, the overhead lights casting a harsh glow that seemed to make the moment feel even more surreal. Her breath came in shallow gasps, the walls closing in around her.
Lauren tried to tell herself it wasn’t real, that this couldn’t be happening to her. But the test in her hand, the one she couldn’t bring herself to turn over, said otherwise. All it would take was one glance. One glance, and she’d know.
But she couldn’t.
The fear was suffocating, and for the first time in her life, Lauren Bloom felt completely out of control. All the years she had spent making decisions for other people, guiding them through their most vulnerable moments, and now, here she was, unable to make a simple choice for herself.
She felt the panic rising in her chest, her heart pounding so loudly she was sure it would burst through her ribs. Her vision blurred, the edges of her world becoming hazy as her mind raced through a hundred different scenarios. What if it was positive? What if she really was pregnant?
The thought sent a wave of nausea crashing over her, and she fought to steady herself, gripping the edge of the sink as she struggled to breathe. She wasn’t ready for this. She didn’t know how to be a mother. She didn’t know if she even wanted to be.
Her mind was spiraling, the questions and doubts consuming her. Her stomach twisted in knots, and before she knew it, she was calling out for the only person who could possibly help her make sense of it all.
“Helen!”
Her voice cracked as she called out her best friend’s name, the sound echoing off the bathroom walls. She waited, her breath catching in her throat as the moments stretched on. For a second, she thought maybe Helen hadn’t heard her, maybe she was too far away or too busy to respond. But then, the door creaked open, and Helen Sharpe appeared in the doorway.
Helen’s eyes were full of concern the second she saw Lauren standing there, white-knuckled and pale, gripping the pregnancy test like it was a lifeline. She didn’t say anything at first, just closed the door behind her and moved closer, her presence alone enough to bring a small sense of calm to the chaos inside Lauren’s mind.
“Lauren,” Helen’s voice was soft, gentle, as if she were speaking to a scared child. “What’s going on?”
Lauren couldn’t find the words at first. Her throat felt tight, her chest heavy, and all she could do was hold out the test toward Helen, her hands still shaking uncontrollably.
Helen didn’t ask any more questions. She didn’t need to. She just took the test from Lauren’s trembling hands and looked at it, her face remaining carefully neutral as she read the result.
Positive.
Helen took a deep breath, her mind processing the gravity of what this meant for her best friend. She knew Lauren better than almost anyone. She knew the battles Lauren had faced, the demons she still fought every day. She knew how much Lauren had struggled to rebuild her life after addiction had nearly destroyed it. And now this.
Helen set the test aside and reached out to take Lauren’s hands in hers, squeezing them gently as she met her gaze.
“Hey, it’s okay,” she said softly, her voice steady and reassuring. “We’ll figure this out. Whatever you want to do, I’m here with you.”
Lauren let out a shaky breath, her eyes filling with tears that she had been fighting to hold back.
“I… I don’t know what to do, Helen,” she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. “I didn’t plan for this. I never even thought about it.”
Helen nodded, understanding the weight of Lauren’s words.
“I know,” she said, her voice calm but filled with empathy. “But you don’t have to figure it all out right now. Let’s just take it one step at a time.”
Lauren blinked back the tears, feeling a surge of gratitude for Helen’s steady presence. She had always been the person Lauren could lean on when things got tough. Helen was her rock, her anchor in the storm. And right now, she needed her more than ever.
“What if… what if I can’t do this?” Lauren asked, her voice breaking as the fear and uncertainty bubbled to the surface. “What if I’m not cut out to be a mother?”
Helen gave her hands another reassuring squeeze.
“Lauren, I can’t tell you what the right choice is. But I do know that you’re stronger than you think you are. And whatever you decide, it’s your choice. You don’t have to be a mother if that’s not what you want. But if you do choose to have this baby, I know you’ll figure it out. You always do.”
Lauren shook her head, her mind still reeling.
“I’ve always been so sure about everything else,” she said, her voice filled with frustration. “Why can’t I be sure about this?”
Helen gave her a small, sympathetic smile.
“Because it’s not an easy decision,” she said gently. “It’s okay to feel unsure. It’s okay to be scared. But you don’t have to make this decision alone. I’m here, whatever you need.”
Lauren let out a shaky breath, the tears finally spilling over as she collapsed into Helen’s arms. Helen held her tightly, letting her cry, not saying anything, just being there. She knew there were no words that could fix this, no easy answers that would make everything better. But she could offer her support, her friendship, and her love, and for now, that would have to be enough.
They stayed like that for what felt like hours, the weight of the decision looming over them but not suffocating them. Helen’s steady heartbeat was a reminder that no matter what Lauren decided, she wouldn’t be facing it alone.
Eventually, Lauren pulled back, wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her jacket.
“I don’t even know where to start,” she admitted, her voice hoarse from crying.
Helen smiled softly.
“You don’t have to know right now,” she said. “We’ll take it one step at a time. The first step is just to breathe.”
Lauren let out a shaky laugh, feeling a little lighter with Helen by her side.
“Okay,” she said, taking a deep breath. “Breathe.”
Helen nodded, smiling warmly as she squeezed Lauren’s hand again.
“Good. Now, let’s get out of this bathroom, and we’ll figure out the rest together.”
Lauren nodded, feeling the weight in her chest start to lift, just a little. She wasn’t okay yet, and she knew this was only the beginning of a long, difficult journey. But with Helen by her side, she felt like maybe, just maybe, she could handle whatever came next.
They left the bathroom together, Helen keeping a steady arm around Lauren’s shoulders, guiding her back into the hospital’s busy hallways. The chaos of the hospital felt like a distant hum now, muted by the storm still raging in Lauren’s mind.
But for the first time since she’d taken that pregnancy test, Lauren felt a small flicker of hope.